Times Square – New York City – New York – USA (by Graeme Maclean)
Times Square – New York City – New York – USA (by Graeme…
Month: August 2016
The Circles of Happiness in Marriage
Every married couple wants to be happy. As they exchange their vows on their wedding day, their minds and hearts are filled with thoughts, dreams and expectations of a happily-ever-after future. This is good and right, but what few anticipate is that it will require a large amount of perseverance and determination on the part of each spouse. A happy marriage is not going to happen automatically or easily. You will carefully need to set and maintain the right priorities. And both spouses will need to be fully committed – after all, it takes two to tango – if only one of you is trying to make things work, it won’t.
So what are these priorities? I am talking about relationships… all the important relationships that we all have in our lives. If you were to represent yourself as being in the centre of a circle, surrounded by expanding concentric circles, the person closest to you would be in the innermost circle, and other important relationships in the next circle and so forth until you have mere acquaintances in the outermost circle.
For a married person, the innermost circle of your heart is where your spouse belongs, and every other relationship needs to shuffle up to another level. When your children come along, as precious as they are, they will need to go in the very next circle. Then close family members and friends and so forth. When these circles (or priorities) get mixed up and displaced it does not bode well for the marriage. For example, it often happens that children can slip into the inner circle and displace the spouse – this is bad news for both the marriage and the children. Another danger would be when the parents or in-laws are dominating a marriage and the husband or wife allows their mother (or father) to take priority over their spouse.
Keeping your spouse in this inner circle is in fact the only way to cherish and safeguard your marriage to last the distance of a lifetime. It often happens unintentionally that you allow other relationships or the busyness of life to creep in and overwhelm this sacred circle. So if you are thinking that perhaps you and your spouse may be floating in different circles, it’s time to do a little relationship stocktaking and set your priorities on track, getting the circles of happiness in your marriage in order again.
Here are a few practical tips and things to remember every day as you make sure that you place each other in the number one circle closest to your heart.
It’s the little things that count
Before you scramble out of bed in the morning, take a few seconds for a good morning kiss. Tell your spouse that you are so glad to wake up beside them and share another day together. It really is the little things that count – a simple thank you, or please, instead of just letting things pass; putting your cell phone off when you are having a meal together; showing affection, a gentle touch as you pass each other or an arm around the shoulder as you sit together on the sofa, noticing a smile or a frown, and sharing a funny moment.
Keep in touch throughout the day
Nowadays with so much technology and social media it does not have to be a matter of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ when you leave for work. Send each other little messages or pictures at least once during the day, just to say ‘I’m thinking of you and I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon’. You may find it will make a big difference in helping you to stay feeling connected, and when you do meet up at the end of the day it will be even better. Then before you turn in for the night try sharing with each other your best and worst moment of your day.
Be there for each other when needed
The wonderful thing about being married is that you have someone special to face the ups and downs of life with – right? So make sure that you are there for each other during the highs and lows. If your spouse is giving a speech or playing in a tournament, you are the primary fan! If you are sick or in hospital, you will surely want your spouse to be perched on the side of your bed holding your hand. When your spouse has a big disappointment or loss, like a retrenchment or a bereavement, that’s when you need to be especially close, understanding and sensitive. And then of course, don’t forget the anniversaries and birthdays.
Do the chores together so you have more time for each other
There’s no doubt that most women find it extremely sexy and attractive when her man helps her with the dishes, cooking, cleaning, ironing and whatever else needs doing. It’s much more fun to do stuff together – it gets done more quickly too, and then you have more time to relax and really get romantic. This not only sets a great example for the kids to see mom and dad working together, but also conserves precious energy which can be well used having fun together.
Show your kids how it works
When mom and dad are safely tucked into each other’s inner circle of happiness in marriage, with the kids held closely in the second circle, it creates a firm foundation for the home and shows the kids how a marriage was meant to be. This also prevents the children from becoming self-centred and thinking that the universe revolves around them which can often happen if they slip into that inner circle and oust the spouse. Hopefully you and your spouse can give your children a great foretaste of what their own healthy and happy marriages can look like one day in the future.
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4 Ways You Can Dress Like an Architect
1. All black.
2. Black with a bit of grey.
3. Black with a bit of white.
4. Match different shades of black.
Done. Go home.
All jokes aside, there has never been a set uniform in the architecture profession. The truth is, there are a large variety of different architectural practices, and one’s attire to do architectural work often depends on each firm’s unique culture. There are corporate firms composed of hundreds of people in office blocks where “corporate” clothing is expected, or there are atelier style firms where jeans and a simple shirt are more appropriate for the design-build.
The architecture world is unique in that we are expected to be creative like artists, execute like engineers, negotiate like businessmen, and make like craftsmen but at the same time are asked to discover our own unique style and approach. Hybridity and improvisation abounds in architecture, which is definitely reflected in our fashion choices. In general though, the architect’s wardrobe is governed by four key words: eccentric, professional, relaxed and… well, still largely black. Here we’ve profiled a few tips on how to dress by these four qualities.
All-Black
© Steve Double
© Sophie Mutevelian
We’re still not really sure why and when architects started wearing all black, but there’s something about this style that gives an air of belonging to architecture’s mysterious clique. This is probably why every young architecture student went through an “all-black phase.” Amid the unwelcoming initial shock of first-time project critiques, a uniform of black is an easy way to feel like you belong in architecture. An all-black wardrobe also complements the architecture student’s hectic schedule precisely because everything you own matches—but that’s the lazy approach and a total waste of the shade’s depth and potential.
The truly great thing about black is that architects who choose to don the shade head to toe are given the opportunity to indulge in unconventional cuts, garment construction, or fabric. The monotony of black makes the combination look less eccentric and a bit more toned down for architecture’s pseudo-corporate settings. One of the best-dressed when it comes to all black was none other than Zaha Hadid, whose artful pairings always had sculptural interest.
Brave enough to try out the all-black look? Here are some for your inspiration:
Colourfully Eccentric
© Takashi Okamoto
© Andrew Zuckermann / RSHP
If architecture is an art then some architects are artists. With their bodies as the canvas, they use fashion as a tool to express themselves, to embody their daily emotions, or to make a statement. Sometimes, they just want to celebrate the beauty of an object: shiny, sparkly, colorful, prickly, intricate objects. One such lover is Kazuyo Sejima of SANAA, who reportedly owns an extensive collection of Comme des Garcons clothing: a fashion house characterized by vibrant colors and bold prints that are often mixed and matched. On the other hand there is Richard Rogers who is often seen mixing vibrant hues of green, magenta and blue. There isn’t much prescription when it comes to dressing eccentrically, just collect what you love and pile it on yourself. Of course, as an architect you’ll know which elements would work together. You got this.
Itching for the eccentric look? Use these items for inspiration:
Sharp and Professional
SHoP Architects
Le Corbusier with Albert Einstein
As much as we would sometimes like to work against the tendency, architects for the most part cater to the privileged elite and the small crop of people that can fund the multi-million construction budgets of our envisioned masterpieces. This is when “power-dressing” becomes part of your sales pitch and anything vastly different from the wardrobe in the boardroom could risk losing the client. However, you are still an architect and you have to distinguish yourself somehow within the “language” of the corporate. Since you’re an architect though, you surely have mastered the world of stylistic languages. The trick is to be just slightly off-kilter: try double-breasted blazers, earthy tones in tweed and corduroy, or ankle grazing trousers—or of course add the classic thick-rimmed glasses. A good rule of thumb is either to remove one item or add an additional piece to whatever you envision as “requisite corporate wear.” If you choose to wear a suit, leave the tie out. Wearing a dress? Pair it with trousers. For style inspiration look towards architecture’s 20th century masters—they’ve got the suit thing down to a tee.
Want a look that’s sharper than your pencils? Try out some of these items:
Reasonably Relaxed
via Inhabitat
A relaxed wardrobe is perfect for the image of the young protégé, or the long-standing rebel. It might be easy to dismiss this style but that is exactly why it can have some strategic advantages—the relaxed look is a classic double-bluff. When you don’t dress for the job it looks like you were too busy actually doing your job to worry about your appearance. And when you don’t dress for the job, people are suddenly more interested in listening to your ideas. Bjarke Ingels is otherwise reasonably dressed in formal occasions, but during his TED talks, which for many is a career-making honor, he is considerably dressed-down in a trademark “Yes is More” tee. Casual, comfortable, and loose are keywords synonymous to this style but absolutely no track suits, or sweatpants.
Ready to go for a more relaxed look? These items could get you started:
As Mark Twain reportedly wrote: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” So as long as you’re not naked, you’re fine. Don’t fret too much.
An Architect’s Dress Code
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Sig Nordal 