Do you describe yourself as strong willed, powerful or assertive? Do you consider yourself a leader, or knowledgeable in your field?
Then why is it that despite how strong we are, sometimes it is so hard for us to open up to others?
To some people, it is an act of defiance or strength. Many people shy away from discussing their issues with others because they do not want to look weak. Or it could be an issue of pride – refusing to talk to others about their problems because they are worried that they will look vulnerable, when they feel that their role should be to always seem strong and confident.
Especially with the latter group of people, this is an unfortunate problem because of course we cannot be strong and powerful all the time. Even those at the proverbial top need to have some reassurance and downtime when they need it. The problem for them is that they are too bottled up with their perception of their role as a leader that they have no way to turn it off when they need help; and when they finally fall, they have the hardest time finding a way to talk.
Some people are just too shy. We either don’t want to bother or burden others with our issues, or feel they are too insignificant to raise awareness about. All of these are just mind-crafted insecurities. If anything is ever an issue on your mind, it is of course worth discussion and there is no doubt millions of other people who are thinking the same thing.
Whether you put yourself in column A, B or C, here are a couple of ways to help yourself open up to others.
1. Decide on what the matter is
Before you feel like you need to talk to someone, see what you can discover about yourself first. I know this is a bit unprogressive because usually when people have something bothering them what happens is they in fact think too much and end up wracking their brain to destruction. However that is because your brain on anxiety is like a speeding train that can’t stay on the track. If you actually take the time to sit down, write everything out and actually discuss it with yourself, you may come to a few conclusions before you go racing into a social situation with your tragedies.
2. Find someone you absolutely trust to talk to
The main problem with being unable to talk about your issues is simply not having the right person to talk to. Not all of us have a parents nearby we can talk with, or a trustworthy friend who immediately has time for us. But they are they, and it might be someone you would never expect. Sometimes someone we don’t know as a good friend appears at the right time, and through a good heart-to-heart ends up becoming a good friend.
Undoubtedly however, you do have a good friend out there somewhere – and it’s OK to open up to them. It can even start as easy as explaining to them that you are nervous to talk about something, and go from there. People react positively when they are asked for helped, and if you go to someone while in a state of emotional despairity, they will think that you feel trustworthy of them, and they will reciprocate by giving you their time and attention.
3. Talk to someone anonymous
Anonymous helplines exist for a reason. When we are down and out it takes courage but it often feels much better to talk to someone who you don’t even know. It doesn’t even mean using a helpline. Perhaps you could talk to someone at work, or an acquaintance that you don’t usually connect with. Choose someone who has a good reputation and you think can respect confidentiality. It is refreshing for two people to bond over something unexpected, such as the need for advice.
If calling a helpline seems like a viable solution, remember that you may not get the personal response back that you would from a friend, but you do get the satisfaction of getting something off your chest with full anonymity, and the reply of a completely unbiased 3rd party. It’s a hard step to take, but it is there.
4. Be ready to accept assistance
The first step really is accepting that you need some help at all. We are oftentimes so stubborn and short minded that we feel like we have to take on all struggles and responsibilities on our own. The fact is, we don’t. We all have our own security needs and circles that can help us sort out our problems – friends, family or acquaintances.
If you open up once it will be easier to do it the next time and again and again. It will help you live your life with comfort and peace of mind, knowing that there are always people out there that can help you. It is an honest way to live and even binds people and develops new friendships. People always bond over feelings – when one person is in need, someone else will be happy to answer the call and be there; it’s in our nature.
Quiet Home is a private home located in Yun-Lin County, Taiwan. Completed in 2016, it was designed by MORI design. Photos by: Moooten
- Nicola Sturgeon, Carwyn Jones and Arlene Foster meet for talks on EU negotiations
- PM will offer leaders regular meetings with David Davis and promises negotiations will not be ‘binary choice’
- May calls for new era of ‘grown-up’ relationships in the union
Good morning, it’s Jessica Elgot here with Andrew Sparrow off for the week.
The main story today is the leaders of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish governments arriving at Downing Street for a Brexit summit this morning, the first meeting of the Joint Ministerial committee in two years.
The country is facing a negotiation of tremendous importance and it is imperative that the devolved administrations play their part in making it work.
The new forum I am offering will be the chance for them all to put forward their proposals on how to seize the opportunities presented by Brexit and deliver the democratic decision expressed by the people of the UK.
Politics blog | The Guardian http://ift.tt/2eArASH
- Architects: Govaert & Vanhoutte Architects
- Location: Knokke, 8300 Knokke-Heist, Belgium
- Architect In Charge: Benny Govaert, Damiaan Vanhoutte
- Area: 566.0 sqm
- Project Year: 2015
- Photographs: Tim Van De Velde
“A place is a space which has a distinct character,” Norberg-Schulz postulates in Genius Loci: Towards a Phenomenology of Architecture. Scanning the natural and built environment in search of hidden visual patterns and translating these elegantly into a contemporary architecture project is the mission he spreads. An empathy which is not unfamiliar to Govaert & Vanhoutte Architects. Owing to about five sensitive heritage sites on its curriculum, the Bruges situated architecture office already developed such an affinity with the historical architecture and atmosphere of West-Flanders that the approach for fortress Hazegras and its surroundings feels like a second nature.
A listed monument such as fortress Hazegras can carry several heritage values in its DNA. Just as the cords of the DNA-molecule can be considered as the spine holding all genetic data, Govaert & Vanhoutte Architects reads military, social, cultural, natural, infrastructural and technical information from the traces in and around farmhouse Burkeldijk. It concerns more than a sum of relicts from ancient times. Where formerly heritage particularly affected the safeguard of objects, the focus of heritage care today lies on preserving the ‘memory’ that heritage material bears. The broadening towards heritage ‘care’ means valorizing the intrinsic heritage value of our surroundings and creating possibilities to allow new positive developments.
For the transformation of the farmhouse into a residence, Govaert & Vanhoutte accurately cuts away non-valuable traces. Valuable historical constructions are thus brought into equilibrium with the scarcely added volumes. One wing of the U-shaped plan of the reduit of the Leopold fort is extruded to the north with office spaces which continue the building not only in plan, but also in sectional proportions. Out of this respectful continuation results the choice of material. Afrormosia baulks of 7 by 3 cm with an intermediate distance of 4 cm clearly and yet discretely pursue the rhythm of the gun-ports still visible in the reduit walls. Likewise, the tenor of the previous conversion from reduit to farmhouse is maintained. The meticulously chosen incisions of the façade openings explicitely amplify the scar between the red and the yellow brickwork. Simultaneously, the elegant sections of the metal window lining and the triple glazing stitch up the brick and wooden volumes.
Not only the materials of the outer skin but also the enfilade of spaces of the new volume reflect the local architecture of long farmhouses. Following the same theme, the rough scrubbed concrete and the softly rounded plastering is in subtle contrast with the exposed, restored timber roof frames and the newly added, but equally wooden interior volumes. Just as a fortress introverts itself for protection, the reading and working spaces are equally oriented towards the inner yard. The border between inside and outside fades because of the perpetuation of the washed concrete flooring reminiscent of cannon bases. As antithesis of a bastion the living spaces open up to the polders outside the former bulwark.
A new, subterranean passageway connects the transformed farmhouse with the enlarged barn. In this expansion a similar signature is recognisable. The sectional proportions are maintained, the choice of materials is the same, but both buildings with guest rooms are slightly shifted and slid apart. Here a glass weld around a part of the indoor swimming pool and the guest kitchen sews the volumes in brick and wood. Just like the shutters of the old barn, the sliding facades of the expansion offer the opportunity to seal off the guest complex entirely.
Not only the functional transformation of farmhouse and barn, but also the liberation, restoration and redevelopment of the relicts on site breathe an atmosphere of respect and distinct military poetry. In particular the artificial lighting around the four nearly identical concrete and brick WWI-bunkers southeast of the barn, lift the monoliths beyond banality.
By providing considerate attention to the buildings and their extremely charged surrounding, Govaert & Vanhoutte not only succeeds in reviving the character of the site in the farmhouse. The architects position this restauration and renovation with so much dignity and poetry in the polders that the project attains the original meaning of ‘Genius Loci’: the deity of the place.
History of fortress Hazegras
Fortress Hazegras is an exceptional site inbetween Knokke and Westkapelle near the Netherlands. The robust construction is not only one of the rare remnants of the Austrian reign in Flanders, moreover it is situated in an almost untouched cultural landscape. As the ultimate structure in a long sequence of fortifications, it has been raised to defend the zwin border and the drainage sluices of the reclaimed polders. The 1784 lock Hazegras is part of a bigger Austrian project including two other important locks alongside the Belgian coast. During an inspection visit Joseph II decides to secure the sluice with a fort. Within the fortification a stone watchhouse and jail have been built; in the western part a sluicehouse has been erected. These constructions have been transformed into farmhouses in 1839, after the tensions between Belgium and the Netherlands. Still the outline of the rampart is read out of the plot structure. The course of the defence wall is visible as a slight elevation.
Little is known of this fortress, situated at the east of the 1622 Isabella and Teresia forts which were already dismantled at the end of the 18th century. The Hazegras fortification remained operational for a short period only, any form of blueprint is scarce and written sources equally rare. The reason hereof is probably the loss of the archives of the military cabinet (caisse de guerre, 1718-1794) duing a conflagration in the residence of the commander-in-chief during the Brabant revolution of 1789. The scarcity of resources hindered the research significantly. ‘Secondary’ sources such as De procesbundels van het Brugse Vrije have rendered assistance since the engineering corps made appeal to labour workers, provided by the local authority. The main resource however are the ruins on site, which had some surprises in store: the reduit of fortress Leopold –the in 1830 converted and restored Hazegras fort– appeared to be preserved as the farm Burkeldijk.
The entirety, enclosed by the streets Retranchement, Burkeldijk and Hazegras, is listed since October 15th 2003. The protected area thus includes the site of the fortresses Isabella and Hazegras with the new Hazegras sluice, bunkers from both world wars, meadows, farmland, dikes, ditches and roads with traces of plot structures, height differences and subterranean remnants of historical fortifications and locks. On the grounds of the former fortress three farms are situated: two in the street Retranchement (n° 17 and 19) and one on Burkeldijk – now converted into a family dwelling with guest rooms. The two latter contain structures going back to the period of fortress Hazegras.
Wood and Steel is a residential project designed by Neely Prodan. It is located in Kiev, Ukraine. Wood and Steel by Neely Prodan: “Flat was designed for extraordinary man. He is a very bright, kind and opens to everything new. He is engaged in business at the same time he likes traveling, reading and cooking. The main goal was is to show to every coming person that this is a..
- Architects: Nguyen Khac Phuoc Architects
- Location: Từ Sơn, Bắc Ninh, Vietnam
- Architect In Charge: Nguyễn Khắc Phước
- Area: 75.0 sqm
- Project Year: 2016
- Photographs: Trieu Chien
“A House in Trees” locates in a small narrow land, which was divided with the area of 5×15(m) in Tu Son town, Bac Ninh, Vietnam. This area is facing rapid industrialization and urbanization. There are several problems with the site such as noise and smog from traffic; and negative effects from industrial zone. The main façade is faced west.
The house is designed for a couple and their teenage daughter and son. The functions include 3 bedrooms with toilets, a living room, a kitchen, a garage and store and an entertainment room, worship, laundry. The owners want a house that could improve their living condition.
In this project, we propose 2 voids inside the house in order to solve the problems. The first void is placed at the entrance, which creates a padding to avoid the smug; shapes are created to avoid direct natural light.
The second void is placed at the center of the house, which plays as a point to balance the nature. At this space, nature is appeared with its elements such as trees, natural light,the wind, and rains.
Stairs and lobbies are in the center connecting spaces. People may feel that they walk on the top of trees when moving in the space.
A garden is opened to the central void, connecting living room, kitchen and dining room. The owners can feel natural light, trees, wind and rain in their bedrooms. At any space inside the house, the owner still could get in touch with nature directly.
“A house in trees “was born with its unique context. Through this project, we want to balance the nature in order to make better living condition for people while urbanization and industrialization are impacting badly to the environment.