Feeling Stuck in Life? You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

You’re reading Feeling Stuck in Life? You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Feeling Stuck in Life

All of us have dreams.

One woman in particular, has always dreamed of becoming a star, singing in front of an international audience, and sharing her golden voice with the world. This was all she ever wanted.

It made sense, after all. Born into a musical family, her love for singing was nurtured early on to the sounds of laughter and the piano. Despite hardships she faced, she knew this was what she wanted to do.

Until one day, when it all came crashing down.

The music that she loved – and whom loved her back – ceased to play. No one heard her sing for almost two years. The woman, whose hope never faltered, found herself jobless and alone.

Believe it or not, this is the story of world-acclaimed singer, Susan Boyle. Who would have thought that before that historic moment in ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, she was at a standstill? Just when she thought that life – and music – was done with her, the world turns and she’s right where she needed to be all along.

If you, or someone you know, is stuck in life right now (for whatever reason), don’t be discouraged. But don’t be in denial either. This may sound strange, but accept the fact that maybe, all this ‘bad luck’ was supposed to happen for a reason.

Just like Susan eventually went up on stage to where she truly belonged, you too, will get to stand on the platform of your dreams.

But first…

1) Understand What Got You There

“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.”

When people generally say they’re ‘stuck in life’, it could mean many things. Some are like Susan, who suffered from a tragic loss and now they don’t know what to do after that. Others could be living the dream – but they feel empty and stagnant inside. For a few folks, they might have given up on their dreams, convincing themselves that following the practical route is best decision nowadays.

Whatever the reason, feeling stuck is normal. At some point, everybody goes through with it. It’s different for everyone, and it could happen to both the young and old. But the important thing is to acknowledge that yes, YOU are stuck – but that’s okay.

Whether you’re at the crossroads of a job change or you’re grieving from a loss, allow yourself to be stuck. Feel everything that goes with it: the emptiness, the misery, the lonely nights. Cry, shout, laugh, and cry some more.

When you allow yourself to feel all these, you’re unknowingly letting go of what binds you.

When you allow yourself to immerse in the experience of feeling stuck – you can begin to understand WHY it happened. And there’s no better peace than finally knowing why you felt the way you did.

2) Keep Moving Despite The Odds

“Sometimes you have to do things when sad things happen.”

According to life coach Stephanie Zamora, it’s important that we take action despite feeling stuck in life. Remember: change is inevitable. Even if you don’t decide to move, things will happen eventually.

After analyzing your feelings and immersing yourself in a whirlwind of emotions, this is the next logical step. And believe it or not, you’ll eventually find yourself doing something despite nagging doubts, loneliness, or fears.

After Susan Boyle’s mother died, she kept volunteering at her local church. She did this even though she was out of work and most probably felt lost about her situation. It is through this simple act that ultimately led her to the stage. Had she merely stayed at home, things might have turned out differently.

It’s easy to just lie in bed and feel sorry for yourself. But even so, life continues. And if you don’t eventually catch up, it will move forward without you.

You don’t need to immediately do something drastic for it to be called action. Simply falling into old routines is enough. Not only does this serve as a distraction, but it’s also an avenue for life to bring you better opportunities.

Continue going to work, doing household chores, visiting friends, or volunteering in your community. Often, the best way to get ‘unstuck’ is to stick with old habits. After all, our routines provide order in our chaos.

You’re Stuck in Life Because You Need To Be

“That’s the thing. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.”

Years from now, you’re going to look back at these incidents and laugh about them. You’ll smile at the thought that once upon a time, you felt lost and afraid. One day, you’ll share how you overcame these challenges with your grandchildren.

Maybe the reason why you’re stuck in life right now is because you NEED to be. Perhaps you’ve been going too fast. This is probably life’s way of telling you to ‘slow down’. During your reflections and in your solitude, maybe you’ll realize the answer.

Or maybe not.

But in the meantime, have faith that all things pass. Troubles end, and day follows the night. Dreams die so new ones could take its place.

You’re reading this today because you’re exactly where you need to be. And so am I.

Cristina Antonio is the EIC of scoopfed.com and a writer of all things related to world news, movies, real estate, health, or social media. She’s currently focused on helping healthcare workers find better career opportunities through Locum Tenens. Cris also enjoys painting, collecting toys, reading German novels, and lurking the Web.

You’ve read Feeling Stuck in Life? You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Take Care Of Your Week to Take Care of Your Life

You’re reading Take Care Of Your Week to Take Care of Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Do your best to take care of your week, and you’ll take care of your life.

This may be something you understand on the surface level, but do you live by this idea? Many of us actually tend to favour looking through one of the lenses below:

  • The Today Mindset: You focus on getting as much done as possible each day
  • The Monthly Mindset: You think about how you can have a great month
  • The Year Mindset: You often dream about what you plan on achieving this year
  • The Retiree Mindset: You reflect on how magical life will be once you finally retire

None of these mindsets are optimal. That’s because they either produce too much pressure (the today mindset) or they provide a likelihood of procrastination (all the rest). Think of always looking at the distant horizon instead of doing what you can to live meaningfully this week.

I would argue that most people, unconsciously fall into one of previously mentioned mindsets. I used to lead my life from the monthly mindset. Every task, or goal, and philosophy I used to have, was about having the best month possible. Let’s see why this is a poor strategy.

Why the Monthly Mindset is Inefficient

A couple of years ago, I made it my goal to read four books per month. But month after month, I wasn’t able to reach my target. Because I had such a large window of time, I could easily slack off for a couple of weeks at the start. So I would end up only reading right towards the end of each month due to my deadline. You can put that down to a mixture of laziness and poor strategy, but it was largely because of the strategy.

How Focusing on the Week Changed My Life

So, instead of making it my goal to read four books per month, I decided to read one book per week. Same result, but slightly, different tactic. The subtle shift from focusing on the month to the week massively increased my consistency and focus. I started reading more books and enjoyed the process a whole lot more.

I then started thinking about how I could apply this concept to all the areas of my life…

The value in this small story is that the time-window with which you view your life, can dramatically impact your results. To generate more consistency and appreciation,  everything in your life gets better when you see it through the lens of this current week. 

So if you want a great life, do what you can to build it this week.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • How can I implement the most enjoyable workout routine for me this week?
  • How can I do what I love more often this week?
  • How can I create a bigger impact this week?
  • How can I take more risks this week?

Focusing on completing daily tasks to achieve your goals is inflexible. Focusing on the month is a better strategy, but still, it lacks sufficient positive pressure. If you choose to focus on your year – there’s hardly any pressure to take action. There’s a chance of losing track of your goals, and you can quickly revert to living without intention. Living with the retiree mindset forces you to delay living your best life in your youngest years.

The Week: The Perfect balance between Focus and Flexibility

I’ve used this ‘weekly mindset’ to play my favourite sport more often, improve my fitness, and write more articles. Life feels a lot easier when you experience life through the viewpoint of a week. Your week is not an isolated series of days. What you do during your week represents the person who you are becoming.

Take care of the week, and you’ll end up taking care of your month, year, and life.

My Last Words

If you’re a creative and interested in learning how to upgrade the way you use you live your week, read my free guide on Spiritual Productivity.

  • You’ll learn about how to split up your day into four chunks, so you worry less about external influences.
  • You’ll discover the small hacks that will take your creative work on your PC to the next level. And much more…

 Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about unique ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Guide explores ways people can make success easier.

You’ve read Take Care Of Your Week to Take Care of Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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5 Great Energy-Boosting Alternatives to Coffee

You’re reading 5 Great Energy-Boosting Alternatives to Coffee, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you’re like me, you need to have that cup of coffee to help you get started early in the morning. Just imagine: a warm, steamy brew that gives off a gentle aroma while you take your first sip.

Coffee has been around for centuries, enchanting us with its miracle effect. Besides its stimulant effect, caffeine has also been linked to a reduced risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and cancer.

But that same cup of coffee also has a dark side. Drinking numerous cups in a day can leave you feeling jittery during the day and restless at night. Over a period of time, you can develop caffeine tolerance, which means you need more caffeine to feel the same effects.

But what if it’s late in the day and you still crave that much-needed energy boost, minus the caffeine crash?

Here are 5 alternatives you should try the next time you need a lift:

1. Chai tea

Chai is a combination of black tea and numerous spices, such as cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves. With its soothing, calming quality, no wonder this tea is practically India’s national drink.

Serve with a dash of milk and a teaspoon of the sweetener of your choice. The creaminess of this drink will make your brain think you’re drinking coffee!

2. Lemon water

It might not seem like it, but a glass of warm lemon water is a simple way to help you feel alert and energized. The combination of lemon juice and water also helps digestion and promotes healthy skin.

There’ve been a number of times when I felt like drinking coffee, but a lemon wedge squeezed into warm water did the trick.

3. Yerba mate

Named the “drink of the gods” by indigenous South Americans, this popular brew provides a gentle and calm energy buzz without the negative effects of coffee. Yerba mate is rich with metabolism-boosting nutrients and antioxidants.

You can prepare yerba mate in a variety of ways – using the traditional mate cup, a coffee pot, or a French press, either hot or chilled.

4. Chicory coffee

This alternative is probably the closest tasting beverage you can get to coffee. Highly popular in New Orleans for its rich, slightly bitter taste, chicory root reduces inflammation and regulates blood sugar levels.

Steep a tablespoon of roasted chicory root in a large cup for several minutes, and top with almond milk and sweetener if desired.

5. Peppermint tea

With its minty taste, this tea is a refreshing choice any time of the day. The cooling sensation helps reduce pain and acts a natural breath freshener.

Peppermint leaves are fairly easy to grow outside. You can boil either fresh or dried leaves for a few minutes before drinking.

Use Your Energy Where It Matters Most

Are you ready to get closer to your goals? To take action, here’s a guide for you:

How To Get Anything You Want

This guide will help you to:

  • create a plan to help you focus on your most important goals.
  • find out how to find a feasible interest to pursue.
  • use a strategy included to overcome challenges and setbacks.

Ready to bring positive change to your life? Grab your free guide here (it’s free).

———

Melissa Chu helps people live better and make an impact through their work. You can download the free guide on how to set and achieve your goals.

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4 Culprits Hijacking Your Motivation and Daily Performance

You’re reading 4 Culprits Hijacking Your Motivation and Daily Performance, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Why don’t we set meaningful goals? And if we do, why do we often fail to achieve them?

What internal forces cause our behavior to stay constant despite our desire to change?

Why do we neglect the development of essential skills that would transform our lives and professional performance?

We resist change. This resistance expresses itself in four key ways: neurotic fear, limiting beliefs, disempowering habits, and inner voices.

Once you understand how these little culprits operate, you’re empowered to make any change you can imagine.

Culprit #1: Neurotic Fear

Fear is at the root of most of our excuses. Doing something new creates risk. Risk evokes fear. Fear is the primary barrier that keeps us from following through on our goals and ambitions.

Fear occurs because of a subconscious assumption that if you do the thing you want, you’ll experience more pain than pleasure, more hardship than enjoyment.

Sometimes we fear failure: What if I fail? What will it mean about me? What will other people think or say?

We also fear success: What if it works out? How will be my life change? What if people perceive me as different?

Healthy fear triggers a flight or flight response. Neurotic fear immobilizes us. Any time you’re not following through on something you want it’s because of this fear.

There’s a cure for neurotic fear: do the thing you fear. Develop competence in this area and the fear, which has no substance, vanishes.

Culprit #2: Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs are challenging to uproot because we’re often unaware of them. You might consciously believe you’re capable and worthy. Subconsciously, you feel you’re incompetent and unworthy. These beliefs dominate our behavior.

“I’m lazy” is another common belief. We all have a lazy part within us. But we also have a disciplined, willful part. If you’re only identifying with your lazy part, examine your life. You’ll discover at least one area where you get things done. (Assume that’s true or your mind can convince you otherwise.) You can consciously access that part by getting in the same state you’re in when you’re willful. Evoke it. Call on it to support you.

And watch your language. If you’re calling yourself lazy or undisciplined, your mind will believe you. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What you focus on grows. Be mindful of your thoughts and beliefs regarding your behavior, your abilities, and your strengths and weaknesses.

“I don’t have the time” is another common belief. Challenge this belief. Maybe you can you carve out 30 minutes in the morning. Or perhaps you can stop doing something that’s not serving you. Or maybe you can learn how to eliminate distraction and focus better. If you invest time in what you’re interested in, you’ll build energy and momentum that will enable you to be far more productive with your day.

When you challenge your limiting beliefs, opportunities present themselves.

Culprit #3: Mundane Conditioning

Poor habits are common for most of us. Cultivating empowering habits and behaviors takes conscious effort.

Common poor habits include procrastinating, getting distracted, being busy, addictive behaviors, and going to sleep late. The list is endless.

As long as we link more pain to doing something (fear) or more pleasure to avoiding it, we procrastinate. All of this conditioning results from our environment.

The science of willpower has shown that changing your environment is more effective than exerting your will. Psychologists call it situational self-control. For example, if you want to stop watching television when you get home from work, put the remote control in an inaccessible place and remove the batteries. This self-imposed inconvenience will delay the habitual impulse and give you time to make a different decision.

Distraction is pervasive in modern life. The habit of eliminating distractions is vital to getting things done. Block off time in your calendar to work on projects important to you. And honor that time.

Close your email program. Power down your smartphone. Close your door. Put on some inspiring music. Set up the environment that allows your brain to enter an absorbed, focused state.

Realize that busyness is an unsupportive habit. We often use it as an excuse to avoid making progress on what’s purposeful to us. Be clear on what’s most important and meaningful to you. What lights you up? What interests and challenges you? Focusing your attention on those things will shift you out of busyness and into a state of flow.

Culprit #4: Inner Saboteur

There’s always a voice within us that gives us reasons not to do something. It’s often called the Inner Critic or Inner Saboteur. It seeks to sabotage or undermine our progress.

In stories, this part is symbolized by conflict, by the many trials, tribulations, and enemies the hero must overcome on his path to personal transformation. Although this sabotaging part is trying to protect us, its efforts hijack our performance and development.

Learn to listen to this inner critic. Allow it speak because if you repress it, it will control your behavior. Instead, let it voice its concerns. Then, dialogue with it. Refute its claims when appropriate. Respect it and make friends with it.

Breaking Through Resistance

Overcoming these four culprits isn’t something you do once. New fears emerge, old disempowering beliefs creep in, unconscious behaviors take over, and the inner saboteur speaks his mind.

Breaking through new layers of resistance is how you walk the path to self-mastery. With daily practice and observation, however, it gets easier.

Mindfulness of these four barriers is the first step. Observing them at the moment reduces their subconscious influence on us. So remember:

  1. Take action in the face of fear.
  2. Challenge your disempowering beliefs.
  3. Establish habits that support you.
  4. Dialogue with your inner saboteur.

The art of following through on our interests brings greater joy and personal meaning to our lives. Focus on that. It will help pull you toward a compelling future.

Scott Jeffrey is a writer and business coach. He’s the author of numerous books including Creativity Revealed: Discovering the Source of Inspiration. Join his mailing list to receive free personal development guides and research-based methods for realizing your potential.

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The 7 Best Blogs on Anxiety

You’re reading The 7 Best Blogs on Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Moody, stressed, anxious or tired all the time? These symptoms can signal either plain old stress or a real depression rooted in deep-seated issues. It is incredibly important to heed the warning that our body and mind communicate in order to create wellness in our lives. Scientific studies support a ‘stress spectrum’, which range from simple fatigue, body aches and pains, to Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) and full-blown personality disorders. If we’re lucky, the down times won’t last long. The key to figuring out how to overcome these anxieties lies in our capacity to take the necessary steps in order to change our lives and/or discover the origin of our anxiety. Here are 7 blogs that aid in developing tools and uncovering truths about where and how our anxiety surfaces:

  1. This blog is a real account of a woman’s lifelong struggle with anxiety. Unable to recognize it as a teenager, she buried it down and decided it was just your run of the mill every day stress. However, when it resurfaced later in life accompanied by physical symptoms of shakiness, lack of concentration and fast heartbeat she knew she must acknowledge its presence and decided to seek treatment. This is an all too familiar story and she urges others to take heed early on in order to not suffer with anxieties through moments in your life. Many people can be happy if they sought treatment or therapy.

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  1. This article breaks down what it means to feel stressed versus depressed. Stress will signal changes that need to be made that are specific, such as lack of sleep or unhappiness at your job, where as depression hangs around longer than little ‘spells’ like stress, and is usually triggered by something or feels like it just pops out of nowhere.

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  1. Feeling powerless in our current world is a commonality we all share. However, some people develop real anxieties and fears based on the unpredictability of our future. This article helps us rebuild a sense of control over our own lives and the difference we can make in the lives of others. Define your values and live them, accept what you can’t change and control what you let it in. These are of utmost importance in regaining control and   overcoming our anxieties.

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  1. This is actually a podcast but felt it should still make it onto this ‘blog’ list. It is a rarity when one speaks positively from personal experience. This podcast doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that there is a healing process to overcoming anxiety for which we must acknowledge. Trying to detach oneself from an outcome is a good step to achieving this as well as developing patience toward discovering the root of your anxiety.

http://ift.tt/2fJEwc1

  1. This blog delivers an interview with the author of ‘Hot Feminist’, Polly Vernon. The discussion veers into her mental state of anxiety, after she was bullied and abused online following the release of her book. She helps one understand that normalizing the stages of your anxiety can help to get over it, as so often we would just alienate ourselves and perhaps even begin to feel as though we could lose our identity. The act itself of talking about your fear, anxiety and depression increases the social acceptance of it as a real disorder.

http://ift.tt/2llXbvi

  1. Generalized anxiety is a term used to describe a malaise that won’t go away, a feeling of tiredness as well as constant worry. When this affects children the symptoms often appear as physical, such as irritability, difficulty breathing and/or sleeping and various aches from their heads to their stomachs. Since anxiety is a very tiring disorder, it is important to be vigilant in recognizing these signs in children, as they particularly vulnerable to its manifestation but lack an understanding of its origin.

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  1. In this blog, we are given the how-to tools for overcoming your anxiety. They are everything from becoming more in tune with your body and checking in with everyday occurrences that trigger feelings of anxiety. It is also very important to face your feelings as soon as they come up, not allowing for the emotions to take over and snowball out of your control.

http://ift.tt/2lm1K8E

Anxiety is a normal physical and emotional response to feelings of fear, stress and toxicity within and around us. To be pro active in our own wellness, we must recognize and accept that we feel them before we can embark on uncovering how to control and understand them. Often we ask ourselves, how do we get to a point where we feel ‘normal’ again? Any life changing transformation requires work and change, which can be painful. Ultimately, the life that comes out of self-growth is a life with the potential to feel content and stress-free. That thought does not induce anxiety, which signals it must be the right choice!

Do you read a great blog about anxiety that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!


Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

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Learn by Example: 5 Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs

You’re reading Learn by Example: 5 Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

In business and life in general, it’s only normal to make mistakes now and again. Still, if the only lessons you learn en route are those you draw from your own mistakes, you won’t exactly be a happy camper on Planet Earth – or a thriving entrepreneur, for that matter. The good news is you don’t have to go putting your foot in all the wrong places until you’ve come up with the best choreography of entrepreneurial success: you can steal tricks from top-rated businessmen and learn by example instead. So, what items can you add to your bag of daily habits in order to hack safe and rapid entrepreneurial growth?

1. Put Your Customers First No Matter What

Entrepreneurs who rise above the curve are the ones who put their customers before profits. In an overly crowded marketplace, buyers have grown extremely sensitive to the way they’re being treated by brands, and they’ll quickly walk out of your door if they but suspect that their money, time, and personality aren’t valued. The focus on user experience over revenues is precisely the approach which earned Twitter founders Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, and Biz Stone an edge over the competition early on – and look how far they’ve come by now. The takeaway: put customer satisfaction first if you want to get your brand to attract potential users like a magnet and grow even when success seems impossible.

2. Take Every Chance and Drop Every Fear

The road to entrepreneurial stardom may be covered by thorns and slivers of broken glass, but if you don’t take to it, you should renounce hope of reaching the finish line in foreseeable future. A dose of caution and forethought is okay, but try not to overthink or overplan every step of the way in advance – and even more importantly, don’t let anyone sway your belief in success. Elon Musk is a shining example of a businessman who simply wouldn’t take ‘No’ for an answer, and it won him a hefty fortune and the title of a tech industry mogul. Musk’s secret success formula is dead simple: take risks and visualize success instead of failure, and you’ll be acing every project.

3. Go the Distance, Plus One Step Further

The early bird may not catch the worm, but the persistent one will eventually dig it out and take it home. The main difference between a successful and an average entrepreneur is the former’s ability to go the distance, and then take one step further. Although perfectionism isn’t always an asset in business, it can be an invaluable trump card up an emerging business shark’s sleeve. For instance, it’s a well-known fact that tenacity and commitment to excellence were precisely the qualities that got Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer a place in the corporate sun. The takeaway? Take to the road, make a run for the gold, and don’t stop ‘till your competitors run out of breath.

4. Come Up with a Regimented Agenda

Though little growth happens within the confines of the comfort zone, consistency is what keeps an entrepreneur’s bowling ball rolling towards the ninepins of peak business results. A clearly laid out daily agenda, with tasks and objectives listed according to priority, can help an up-and-coming businessman keep their eyes on the prize and minimize delays and dead alleys en route. Fueled founder and CEO Rameet Chawla says that a consistent schedule is key to brilliance, and she believes her priority-based lifestyle contributed to the startup’s rapid growth. If you want to avoid pitfalls and win medals fast, devise an achievable daily agenda and stick to it religiously.

5. Work Hard, Play Hard, Rest, Repeat

All work and little play never made a star entrepreneur. To rise above the crowd, you’ll need to achieve – and maintain – work-life balance, and play at least as hard as you work. You can use opportunities such as business trips to let your inner child have a go at travel gadgets and board games, or design a part of the office as play area to keep motivation in check on busy work days and during slow weekend shifts. “Work hard, play hard” is the slogan Richard Branson swears by and it’s apparently worked for him like a charm, and it also opened his mind and heart, allowing him to participate in the creation of a better world on a daily basis.

As human beings, we’re creatures of habit and daily rituals give structure and substance to our lives. If you want to pull out all the stops on the quest to the Garden of Entrepreneurial Eden, arm yourself with these habits and steer your business onto the speedy and successful lane in a flash. Good luck!

You’ve read Learn by Example: 5 Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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7 Ridiculous Standards We Need To Stop Sticking To

You’re reading 7 Ridiculous Standards We Need To Stop Sticking To, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I don’t know what it is exactly, but it seems like in today’s day and age, we’re taking almost everything for granted.

Common sense isn’t so common anymore.

And adults aren’t being adults.

It’s ironic because the internet, social media and modern technology are all making us go backwards.

Here’s 7 ridiculous standards we need to stop sticking to

1) It’s okay to be late

No. It’s not.

I don’t know when, but some people think that it’s okay to never be on time. The worst I came across was people showing up for a movie late, making the rest of us late.

It’s not okay to be late.

If you think it’s okay, it means you don’t respect the other party. If you don’t show up on time, it means you don’t respect time, and that means you don’t respect yourself.

Grow up and show up. It’s not that hard.

2) It’s okay to be busy all the time.

No. It’s not.

I get it. You have many things to do. But everybody is busy today. If something or someone means something to you, you’ll make the time and put in the effort.

Trust me, you’ve your entire life ahead of you to be busy, especially after you start work. It’s up to you to make the choice, make some changes and realize that you get to do things that really matter.

3) It’s okay to not reply or return a call

I actually just only recently encountered this phenomenon, that some people out there simply do not check their phones at all simply because “they’re that type of people.”

Yes. Others validated this to me, telling me that it is a normal habit to not want to check one’s phone entirely and effectively disappear for a few days.

I think it’s alright to prioritize your communication habits, but to disappear entirely? Not cool.

A smartphone is meant to make people smart, not stupid.

4) It’s okay get away with anything just because you’re rich or famous

You know it’s true. Rich or famous people are getting away with doing bad things just because of their status.

It’s sad because the average person doesn’t dare to talk back.

5) It’s okay to cheat on your partner

Infidelity, for some reason is extremely common today, even among married couples. It’s so common that research is done on it, particularly on good people who you never thought will cheat.

But cheating, is still cheating.

It’s a horrendous act that hurts people. End of story.

If you aren’t ready to commit to a relationship, then don’t. Be honest and respect your partner. Cheating will never end well and there’ll be consequences.

6) It’s okay to allow bullying

I personally find that not enough is done to curb bullying.

The victim is always told to simply “get over it.”

That’s not enough. We need more education. The bullies must be punished to a certain extent while the victim must be given more encouragement.

7) It’s okay to allow a friend to be toxic and not do a thing about it

This entire article can be encompassed in this point: allowing a friend to be toxic.

Time and time again, I am always told, “He’s like that. Let him be” or “She’s a girl. They get to be unreasonable.

I find that extremely ridiculous.

If someone is doing something wrong, then something needs to be said. Tolerance can only go so far and it’ll only eventually harm others.

Stop accepting ridiculous standards I say. Make a change for yourself and others around you.

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Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure

You’re reading Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Setting a strong foundation – repetition, repetition, repetition.

One of the most effective ways to increase your performance in anything is simply by turning up and practicing! This may sound extremely obvious but it can be discounted far too often. Some people want all the glory but are not willing to put in the time to achieve it. So repetition, repetition, repetition cannot be overlooked as it’s the cornerstone of executing the task in hand.

Moving practice to performance

With a strong foundation in practice, our next task is to convert that to the match or performance. A classic example is the musician. They practice for many years in their bedroom to then hopefully one day play to hundreds or thousands of people. Their next step is to then move that playing to the stage.

The paradox of performance

Let’s just quickly address one area that can cause many people to trip over when trying to perform at their best. Always wanting to perform at perfect standards can cause problems if it’s not addressed and managed. We want to create an environment in which we push for our best performances, aim for a high level/standard, but have a heavy level of perspective whilst doing it. So if we have a bad day at work or at the session, we can quickly turn ourselves back around and get back to it.

Taking off the pressure

One of the most effective ways to take the pressure off yourself is to simmer the amount of focus on yourself. This is a little paradoxical, but the best way to do it is to focus on your main mission. Some performers, instead of focusing so much on themselves, switch their focus to entertain the crowd; giving them a great evening or offering a product or performance that can impact their lives. This can be especially helpful for entrepreneurs. When they focus on their overall mission, it can help keep them on track when the challenges come. It helps to alleviate the pressure THEY PUT ON THEMSELVES!

So let’s take a look at ten techniques that you can apply in any pressurised situation:

  • Visualisation – visualisation plays a huge part for many athletes and performers. Simply put, it’s the ability to visualise the desired outcome you would like by mentally running through your performance, bit by bit. This is a great technique for many golfers, basketball players, musicians etc – they clearly visualise the outcome they would like. A study by Edmund Jacobson proved how effective visualisation truly is with a set of basketball players. Check it out! http://ift.tt/1jpKatG
  • Movement – your physical body (the way you position your body). Resetting your posture under pressure can massively affect your performance. Take Cristiano Ronaldo’s body positioning when he steps up to take a free kick. With Ronaldo being a ‘J’ shape kicker (direction of the kick) he inputs greater power into the ball in the direction of the kick. His upright posture gives him a ‘power’ stance that can also add huge mental benefits. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has done some phenomenal work on body language and how it effects our testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain. Fascinating! http://ift.tt/1i3VmIF
  • Meditation – in any pressurised situation, being able to regulate your thoughts and emotions is huge. Meditation can be a great tool to keep your emotions and impulses at bay in performance. Restful alertness is the key here: with training we become more and more aware of our thoughts and emotions. Therefore, we can respond more effectively in high performance.
  • Language – reframing the situation – a healthy way to increase your performance is the way you shape the situation. Many performers still feel nerves before aperformance, but it’s how they manage and use it to their advantage that is the key. Mike Tyson before many of his boxing fights would be extremely nervous, but his coach would say: “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It’s the same thing, fear, but it’s what you do with it that matters”.
  • ‘There are many opportunities’ – think about how many times you have to get it right. The band Coldplay got turned down by over 20 record companies but they kept going. You will have other opportunities if you put yourself out there and keep on being proactive. The irony is you feel less pressure knowing there will be other opportunities.

These are five of many strategies you can begin to develop in your arena. Start with one and see how it can help with your development and training.

Step into your greatness today!

You’ve read Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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The Success of Failing

You’re reading The Success of Failing, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Have you ever noticed that when people aren’t where they want to be—maybe their career isn’t as advanced as they’d like or they’re not in the loving relationship they’ve always dreamed of—they have a tendency to beat themselves up? They start saying “I’m not this” or “I’m not that,” as if they are somehow doomed because they lack a certain characteristic, quality, or trait.

Realistically, we all have responsibility as to how our life turns out. After all, if we want something, then we are the ones who have to do the work to get it. However, if you’re constantly judging yourself, telling yourself that you’re a failure at things, it will hold you back. It will prevent you from ever moving forward, like a 200-pound backpack attached securely to your back.

But the thing about failure is that it is never final…that is, unless you let it be. In fact, if you look at some of the greatest, most well-known people in history, they’d have never been successful if they experienced a failure and just accepted it as their fate.

Take Thomas Edison, for instance. His teachers literally called him “stupid” and his first two employers let him go because he was “non-productive.” Regardless, he still had a dream inside him to give the rest of the world light.

The first time he attempted to make a light bulb, he failed. The second time, he failed. The hundredth time, he failed. Did he stop? Did he just accept his failures as his fate? No. He kept going. He failed again and again until the one-thousandth time and…wouldn’t you know it…the light bulb was born.

Think about where we’d be today if he’d given up any of the 999 times before. Think about what impact it would have on our existence today if he’d said, “Well, I give up. I’m a failure. Apparently I am stupid and non-productive.”

As hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Or, as Michael Jordan has said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed,” following up with, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

Failure is only a failure if you decide to give up. As long as you don’t do that, then it’s simply a lesson learned. It’s a tool that tells you what doesn’t work so you can cross that idea off your list of possibilities and move on to something that does.

Remember too that you’re not alone when it comes to failures, so quit beating yourself up. Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series reached out to 144 different publishers before finding one who would take on his idea for this set of books. Again, had he given up any of those times, the world wouldn’t have been blessed with the many stories of inspiration and motivation they contain.

Again, failure is only a failure when you give up. So don’t. Okay?


As an entrepreneur, Red has built 3 different organizations. Among some of his accomplishments, Red built “The Accessories Place” into a major vendor of fashion accessories with multimillion dollar sales and double-digit year over year profitability. He is a professional speaker and the author of “Live Your YOUlogy.” In his free time, he enjoys spending time with his 3 children, playing racquetball, and traveling.

You’ve read The Success of Failing, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World

You’re reading How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

how to find fulfillment

Are you looking for fulfillment? Do you know what that even looks like?

Fulfillment is what you get when you reach a level of contentment and gain a sense of accomplishment, giving you great emotional happiness and satisfaction.

What makes you happy though is not the same thing that makes someone else happy. So don’t think having or doing what others are doing will reap the same feelings and benefits for you.

It’s usually the simple things in life that bring us the most fulfillment, such as being around family and friends.

Each one of us strives for something in life, whether it be material or emotional. What is that for you, and have you ever even asked yourself what that is?

Imagine for a moment right now you were 80 years old. If you were able to look back at your life, what would be your biggest regrets?

What are the things that are really strong in your mind that you feel, and you’d say to yourself, “I should have done that when I had the chance.”

Don’t focus on so-called “mistakes.” That is not the point here, there are no such things as mistakes in life, but there are missed opportunities due to failure to take action.

Today I am going to show you how to find out what makes you happy and get you motivated towards reaching that level of happiness.

First, though, let’s take a look at why living life without fulfillment is like a plane without wings – you aren’t really going to get too far.

Why You Are Missing Out On Some Of Life’s Beauty

Early on in my career, I had been teaching and training people of all ages how to use computers, training them in software on both PCs and Macs.

I had always enjoyed this, and I realized I love teaching others, and I wanted to do more of it.

I knew what I wanted to do but didn’t really know how I would get there.

And then it hit me, the creation of my own website and blog. My own stage where I could teach people what I had learned in my life, the experiences that I have gone through, and how they could also attain a fulfilled and super happy life for themselves by doing what they love.

In one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray, he is stuck in a time loop living the same repetitive day over and over again.

Where he wakes up, and the same song is playing on the radio, to walking down the street and meeting the same people and doing the exact same things. And no matter what he does he cant get out of it.

It’s not until he finds his true identity, and becomes the person he never was, is when he escapes from the repetitive days, and a new more fulfilled and content life begins for him.

We are always striving to be the best and have the best, but the “best” for one person is not always the best for someone else. The picture is different for everyone.

You need to let go of things that you just have no control of in life, and focus your efforts on things that you can change, can affect, and can have a life-changing influence on.

What Your Fulfillment Looks Like

To start living a more fulfilled, content, and meaningful life, you can start to use the following strategies to carve out the most joy for yourself.

– What Do You Want Out Of Life?

You go to a job because you want the money and need to work. You go to a restaurant because you are hungry and want to eat.

See what actions are you doing every day, and where they are taking you.

Ask yourself where do you want to go, what do you want to accomplish, who do you want to be with, what do you want to own, where do you want to travel.

Start to find out what your purpose in life really is. We are only in this world for a very short time, let’s not waste any time on things that just don’t matter.

Write down what you want to get, and what type of relationships you want to have with the people you care about around you.

Find your fulfillment today so that you can be truly happy for the rest of your life.

– Find What You Love And Do It More Often

What do you love doing? For me, I really enjoy rollerblading; it gives me an incredible sense of freedom and happiness that I just can’t describe.

Yet a lot of the time, we are doing things that we just don’t enjoy or get any reward out of.

We all know what makes us happy, so why are we not doing more of it?

If you are working at a job that just doesn’t do anything for you, then you need to start asking yourself what steps do you need to take to start doing work that gives you fulfillment.

If sitting on your favorite couch, wearing your most comfortable slippers, reading a book with a nice cup of warm tea makes you feel at peace, then you need to be doing more of it.

Doing the things you love to do more often gives you a sense of peace over yourself.

– Set Realistic Goals For Yourself

Now that you know what things give you fulfillment, you need to start to create the roadmap and goals to start living out your dreams.

Often we look back on our lives and reflect and ask ourselves what have I accomplished.

You need to be able to measure your level of contentment and happiness by looking at how much do you need to live.

Fulfillment is linked to your goals, and your dreams and wishes. You will find satisfaction when you reach your goals.

Write down what you are striving for in life, and what exact steps you are going to do to get there.

– Help Someone Else Out

When you do good for others and help someone else out, whether it be just giving them company when they are alone, or lending a helping hand to someone financially, you can gain so much fulfillment from this.

When humans do good to each other, this causes a great sense of peace and happiness not just to the recipient, but to the giver as well.

To help yourself out emotionally, start doing good for others so that you can feel the rewarding feeling of giving.

Final Thoughts

To live a more fulfilled life, you need to live in the moment, in the now. You need to focus on the emotions and feelings that you are feeling inside of you, and strive to make yourself the happiest that you can be.

We all need to start enjoying each and every moment and refocus on the present time.

By bringing yourself to be grounded and live one day at a time, you slow down your life to stop looking at external ways to make ourselves happy.

You don’t need any external things to make you happy; your absolute happiness already exists right inside of you right now, it’s just up to you to want to grab it.


Maher Abiad has been in digital media and marketing since 2000. He runs his own online marketing agency named 3Seven7 Studios which helps businesses tell their stories and grow their audience through digital media marketing.

You’ve read How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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