Ah jealousy. The ugly green monster that manages to invade each and every one of us at some point in our lives. Nobody likes him yet we still let him in. Sometimes he slips in when we aren’t looking and when we realize he’s arrived we embrace and feed him. But why do we do that and how can we stop him from moving in and renting space for too long? Jealousy stems from fear so what we often mistake as jealousy, is actually fear. It also comes from a place of lack. Lack of self confidence, self esteem, self respect, you get the idea.
Jealousy is a funny thing really. We are often jealous of things that don’t even make sense to anyone else but us. In our minds, there’s a good and just reason. Others will look at us and shake their heads and wonder what on earth we are going on about. There comes a time though that eventually we just get so tired of being stuck in jealous mode and don’t know how to let go. Here are a few ways to help you along your letting go of jealousy journey.
Young couple sulking after conversation sitting on sofa
Get to the source.
Where does this feeling come from right at this moment? Is it fear based or lack based? Find out why you feel like this and sort out the underlying issue. You will soon see once you do that, the jealousy diminishes too.
Face that fear.
And flick it away. You know what the fear is so you need to recognize it for what it’s worth and face it. Head on. Is it something you really want to do but think you can’t? That’s fear talking. You can do anything.
Dump the negative.
Negative people, negative thought patterns. Anything negative in your life that no longer serves you, get rid of it. jealousy will show up in this and it will stay as long as you keep that negative attitude. Dump the attitude, lose the jealous.
Comparing is for produce.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are and you have skills and talents that other people don’t have. We are all very good at something that no one else is. Embrace your uniqueness and your talents. They belong to you and they are amazing.
Calm your imagination.
Imagination really is a wonderful thing but when it gets out of control and starts making up stories in your head, it’s time to get a grip on it. Not everything in our minds is true. Remember that and you’ll be better off.
Be honest.
With yourself and whoever is causing this latest fit of jealousy. Talk to them and see if you can sort it out between the two of you. oftentimes talking it out with the root of the problem does more than solve it, it also strengthens your relationship.
Trust is not a four letter word.
Learn to trust or relearn to trust if you have to. Too many times we don’t trust the right people and we end up trusting the wrong ones. Because of this, we tend to stop trusting all together. First and foremost, trust your gut instinct. It never lies.
Forgiveness is key.
Forgive yourself, the people who hurt you, the people you feel you can’t trust, forgive everybody and anybody who you feel is the source of your jealousy. Forgive and let go.
Act different.
I don’t mean change who you are. if you normally would have lashed out in anger, try being kind and gentle instead and see how that works. It will certainly alter your jealous state and may even bring some peace to you.
Live your life.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not or acting like someone else or wanting what they have. Be you. You are perfect just the way you are. also stop trying to impress people because Sally does. Don’t be like Sally. Be like you.
Jealousy certainly is ugly but if you learn to recognize it and deal with it immediately, you will soon find that you get jealous less and less as time goes on.
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Sig Nordal 