Raising kids these days certainly isn’t a walk in the park. It’s probably one of the toughest jobs on the planet. We all work so hard to make sure our children are well behaved, well educated, respectful, smart and eventually successful. All that is hard enough for ourselves to manage, let alone our kids too. It is our job though, I mean, we brought them into this world, it’s up to us to make sure they are upstanding citizens.
However, often in our quest to produce the perfect child, we miss the mark on certain things. Here are just a few things that too many parents are doing that need to stop. Now I’m no child/parent psychologist but it doesn’t take a fancy degree or special letters at the end of your name to recognize that these are just wrong.
Verbal or physical abuse.
Abuse is abuse, no matter what form it takes. Any form of abuse is seriously harmful, not only to children but to adults as well. Children who are raised in abusive homes are more likely to continue that pattern as adults. Treat your child with love, care and respect and they will grow up to love care and respect others.
Coddling is for babies only.
It’s perfectly natural to coddle a newborn and want to protect this little human with everything you have. When this child gets a little older, coddling isn’t that great. There’s nothing worse than a child who is coddled so much that even they start feeling smothered and claustrophobic. Give them room to breathe and their own space. They’ll appreciate it, really.
They don’t have to have everything they want.
It’s ok to say no every now and then. I know many parents will just say yes to avoid a temper tantrum or an argument of some sort. Let them have a fit, it’s ok. Children need to learn the value of things, money and ownership. They also need to know that they will not get everything they want throughout life. Better teach them that while they’re still young.
Passing down bad habits.
Like yours. Keep your bad habits to yourself. If you have phobias or habits that are unhealthy, why would you want your child to pick that up too? And you know already what your habits are and whether they are good or bad. Don’t pass down the bad ones, only the good ones.
Arguing over silly things.
Like things that won’t even matter in one month, one week, one day one year. What’s the point? You’ll have wasted a lot of energy being angry over something, they will end up upset and completely devastated when at the end of the day, you realize the whole argument was really just a power struggle. Don’t do this. It’s pointless and no one wins.
Don’t do everything for them.
Tie their shoes, put their dishes away, make their beds, do their laundry, etc. There comes a time when they will and should learn how to do everything themselves anyway. Of course we want them to stay young forever and never have to worry about responsibilities and let them enjoy their youth but at what price? They are going to have to do all those things for themselves when they get older (or someone’s spouse is going to be mad at you) so teach them when you can.
Don’t ignore them.
You’ve seen these parents before. The ones at the playground, in the shopping centre, at the grocery store. The child is yelling out for mom/dad and they are clearly being ignored. Mom mom mom, dad dad dad, and no one answers. This is just mean. Don’t ignore your child. Take two seconds to remember how you feel when someone ignores you and multiply that horrible feeling by one million. That’s how kids feel when you ignore them. Don’t do that.
Nope, raising kids certainly isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be a nightmare either. handle them with love care and respect and you’ll be way ahead of the game. They may not end up perfect but then, no one is.
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Sig Nordal 