Month: March 2017

The Main Reason Changing Your Life is Tough

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By Leo Babauta

Many of us have things we’d like to change: our exercise and diet habits, procrastination and productivity habits, patience and mindfulness habits, quitting bad habits, decluttering and finances, reading and learning and doing all the things we want to do in life.

But very often we fall short of our hopes.

What’s the problem? Why do we struggle with these changes?

There are lots of reasons, some of them external … but the main reason that it’s difficult to stick to these changes is actually internal.

The main reason changing our lives is hard: we get in our own way.

How? Our thinking is the problem. See if you’ve done any of these:

  • You mess up or procrastinate on your habit changes, and then are harsh or critical on yourself.
  • It’s time to do what you set out to do, but then you put it off and look for something easier. You go to distractions.
  • You are doing something uncomfortable but then look for a way out, tell yourself you can’t do it.
  • When you’re doing something hard, you stress out about it, setting unreasonable expectations and agonizing about whether you can do it.
  • You fantasize about how this will turn out when you meet your goal, but then worry and stress out about whether you will hit that goal.
  • You feel bad about yourself, doubt yourself, beat yourself up … and this prevents you from even taking action.

I think most of us have done these at some time or another, often without even being aware of it. We get in our own way, make things more difficult than they already are.

Why We Get in Our Own Way

Why do we do this, if we’re just making things harder? These are old patterns, built up over the years, that are coping mechanisms for dealing with difficulty.

The reasons we go to the patterns mentioned above:

  • We have lots of uncertainty or discomfort about the task or project, so we look for a way out, and start to rationalize and look for something easier.
  • We create high expectations (our goals, ideals, fantasies) and then fear not meeting those expectations (more uncertainty).
  • We don’t believe in ourselves because we doubt whether we’re good enough to do it (uncertainty about ourselves).
  • Being harsh on ourselves for procrastinating or messing up is a way to deal with the uncertainty that arises when we do these things.

So some kind of uncertainty arises: about ourselves, about how we just procrastinated, about how this project will go, about how to go about doing this task, about whether we’ll meet our goal.

Then we react to this uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty by being reactive: by being critical of ourselves, stressing out about it, procrastinating and seeking distraction, rationalizing why we should quit. These are old patterns, how we cope with the discomfort of uncertainty.

It doesn’t feel good to take these actions, but it’s a natural reaction to the scary feelings of uncertainty. There’s more comfort and certainty in our distractions, running away, self-criticism, harshness, stories about not being able to do this.

The discomfort of uncertainty is what we want to get away from. We get in our own way by trying to get away from feelings of uncertainty.

Getting Out of Our Own Way

So how do we stop getting in our own way?

By getting out of our way.

When we notice that we’re procrastinating, seeking distraction, being harsh or critical, rationalizing quitting or putting something off, stressing out about not being able to do something … we should pause. Just notice what we’re doing.

Then think about how we’re just making things harder. We can make things more effortless by not reacting to the uncertainty.

Instead, notice the feeling of uncertainty in your body. See that it’s there and that you want to get away from it or get control of it. Stay with it and see that it’s just a feeling, nothing to panic about.

In fact, by practicing the mindfulness of staying with discomfort and uncertainty, we can learn to be comfortable with uncertainty.

As we do this, we can just turn back to the task and act. Just simply be with the task, and just take action. Just do.

If we’re procrastinating with a writing task, we can just stop running and instead allow ourselves to feel the uncertainty. Then just start writing, without worrying about running from uncertainty.

If we are beating ourselves up because we haven’t done a good job sticking to a plan, we can notice that we’re being harsh, and instead allow ourselves to feel the uncertainty about ourselves. Then just start again on the plan, letting go of what happened and starting afresh without stress.

If we are stressing out about not meeting a goal or expectation, we can notice that we have uncertainty about this goal, and just stay with it. Then just take action on the goal without worrying about the expectation.

Notice the uncertainty and our desire to run. Stay with it and don’t run. Then act, with gratitude and a smile. We don’t have to get in our way, things can be no big deal.

My Dealing with Struggles Course

If you’d like help with getting out of your own way, I’ve just launched a new video course called Dealing with Struggles, and I invite you to join me for four weeks.

It’s two video lessons a week, and mindfulness exercises to practice with each lesson. You’ll also be able to ask me questions that I’ll answer in videos and articles, and discuss the lessons and your struggles with other participants in a Facebook discussion group.

In addition, I’m offering five bonus ebooks that I’ve written:

  1. Beginner’s Guide to Mindfulness
  2. Essential Zen Habits
  3. Little Book of Contentment
  4. The One Skill – How Mastering the Art of Letting Go Will Change Your Life
  5. Focus: A Simplicity Manifesto in the Age of Distraction

I hope you’ll join me.

Check Out the Course

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Drop In SEO Rankings: A Guide To Complete Recovery https://t.co/tiFhIHOljp via @SigNordal

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March 29th

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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.

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March 28th

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Almost seventy years later I remember clearly how the magic of translating the words in books into images enriched my life, breaking the barriers of time and space…

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March 27th

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The first duty of wine is to be red. Don’t talk to me of your white wines.

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20 Beliefs You Will Gradually Let Go of Over the Next 20 Years

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20 Beliefs You Will Gradually Let Go of Over the Next 20 Years

The afternoon always understands what the morning never even suspected.

Everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head.

Every day.  All the time.

YOU are telling yourself a story right now.

And this story is simply a collection of beliefs that ultimately makes you what you are – it lays the foundation for every action you take or don’t take in life.  In essence, you build yourself out of this story, one day at a time.

For a while, everything aligns just fine, or so it seems, and life is good.

But then, at some point, perhaps sometime in your thirties, forties or fifties, you get slapped with a harsh reality that (more…)

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Ambivert Personality? 10 Clues This Might Be You

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Ambivert personality

I love having a career where I can work from home.

I spend a lot of time writing, researching, and creating courses and other content. All of this is done alone but for the company of my trusty little Mac.

Working from home gives me a ton of flexibility and allows me to focus on my work without too many distractions. I enjoy the quiet time when I can brainstorm and reflect without someone in a neighboring cubicle coming by to shoot the shit.

But every couple of days I start to go stir crazy. I get agitated and feel isolated. I stare out the window, waving at random passers by, hoping they might come in and, well, shoot the shit.

Even though I work and live with my life partner, Ron, I miss the company of my friends and family. I miss having a team of people to bat ideas around with. I miss feeling the energy of other people around me.

When this happens, I call my friends to arrange a group dinner. I’ll schedule time to visit my young adult children. Or Ron and I will meet up with another couple for the evening.

Sometimes I’ll arrange to participate in a webinar or podcast with other online entrepreneurs or attend local a networking meeting.

Spending time with smallish groups of people fills up my emotional tank and allows me to express the extroverted bits of my personality. But after a few hours around people and putting myself out there, I’m ready to be on my own again.

If I had to label myself, I’d say I’m an extroverted introvert. But there’s another word that better captures the personality type of those of us who aren’t all introvert or all extrovert. We are ambiverts.

Are you an ambivert personality? 

To understand ambiverts, you need to know a little about the whole personality typing thing.

The notion of introversion and extroversion came about when Swiss psychologist Carl Jung coined the terms in his 1920’s work, Psychologische Typen (Psychological Types).

Jung felt that the differences in introverts and extroverts came down to energy. Extraverts are more energized by social interactions, whereas introverts are quickly drained by them.

Therefore, extraverts pay more attention to their outer worlds, and introverts are more reflective and focused.

Other theories suggest the preferences exhibited by introverts and extroverts are due to differing levels of cortical arousal (the speed and amount of the brain’s activity). Introverts have naturally higher cortical arousal than extroverts, and introverts process more information per second.

Yet another theory suggests that the brains of extroverts are more sensitive to rewards, like the rewards you get during social interactions, making them more inclined to hobnobbing with others.

Many studies have shown that the brains of introverts and extroverts are quite different, and each personality type has it’s own set of strengths and weaknesses.

However, the traits of introversion and extroversion exist on a continuum, and most of us fall somewhere in the middle of that continuum. We might lean a little more one way or the other. But we all have a little bit of each type within us.

Those who tend to fall more in the middle are ambiverts, as this illustration shows.

If you have an ambivert personality, you have reason to celebrate. You, my friends, have a bit of an advantage over more “pure” introverts or extraverts. Why? Because you can more easily adapt to various situations and settings, allowing you to sway with the wind so to speak.

Wind swaying allows you to see both sides of the picture, to be more flexible and intuitive, and to better calibrate your behavior and reactions, thus leading to more successful encounters.

This happy little factoid has gained traction after Adam Grant, a professor of psychology at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, published a study in Psychological Science suggesting that ambiverts perform better as salespeople than extroverts because of ambiverts’ more adaptive personalities.

Says Dr. Grant, “Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale, but are more inclined to listen to customers’ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.”

As an interesting aside, Grant found that extraverts didn’t outperform introverts in this same study. These two extreme personality types brought in just about the same percentage of sales. Who knew?

Since most of us are ambiverts, it’s helpful to know the signs of ambiversion to see if you resonate with this personality type description.

Here are 10 clues you might be an ambivert:

1. You are adaptable.

Ambiverts have the ability to adapt to the situation they are in. They are comfortable in a much wider range of situations than introverts or extroverts.

If you are at a social gathering, you feel comfortable engaging in conversation and talking with a variety of people.

You can be in a group setting without feeling like you want to run away — at least not initially.

But when it’s time to head home, put on your sweatpants, and cuddle up with a good book or your favorite TV show, you are perfectly happy as well.

2. You are a middle of the road risk taker.

Extraverts tend to be more comfortable taking risks and living life on the edge. They might hop on a plane for weekend getaway at the last minute, or they might make an impulsive decision to buy a new car.

Related: How Your Personality Type Impacts 3 Key Areas

Introverts are much more reserved and cautious when it comes to risk. They will weigh the pros and cons carefully before making a decision about something that has potential negative consequences.

However, those of us who are ambiverts are willing to take risks, but not all the time. An ambivert has the capacity to make an impulsive decision and throw caution to the wind.

But there are times when you know you need to be more thoughtful and careful about your decisions.

3. You know when to talk and when to listen.

Because ambiverts are adaptable, they are good at reading a person or situation to determine whether they should use their gift of gap or tune in with their strong listening skills.

This is one reason Dr. Adam Grant found that ambiverts are better sales people. They are good at listening to the customer, but they also have strong skills in closing a sale.

Related: 8 Ways Introverts Can Develop a Strong Personality

Because all of us interact with different types of people, ambiverts have an advantage because they can shift from relating as an introvert or as an extrovert.

4. You can perform tasks alone or in a group.

Introverts much prefer to work alone and feel overwhelmed and drained if they are forced into group situations. Extraverts are energized by working with and around other people and feel isolated and uninspired working by themselves.

Ambiverts do well in both settings. There are times they enjoy working alone and feel more productive without others around.

However, an ambivert might soon crave time with other people in order to recharge and get motivated.

5. You like activity and down time.

Ambiverts enjoy spending time with friends and family, socializing, and staying busy. Until they don’t.

An ambivert might hit the wall suddenly and decide they need some down time.

Ambiverts prefer a mix of activity and quiet leisure. How much of each depends on where they fall on the continuum between introversion and extraversion.

6. You can take or leave small talk.

Small talk makes an introvert want to chew his or her foot off. They will do just about anything to extricate themselves from an idle chit chat. They much prefer deep and meaningful conversation.

An ambivert can handle small talk and even participate with ease, but they find it boring and superficial after a while.

They know small talk is part of socializing, but eventually an ambivert wants to move on to a more substantive conversation.

7. You’re trusting and skeptical of other people.

When an ambivert meets someone new, they might immediately open up and share personal information with this new person. They might feel trusting right away and see the best in this person.

But other times, not so much. Their introverted, intuitive side taps them on the shoulder with a warning: “Don’t spill the beans with this person. They can’t be trusted.”

An ambivert isn’t trusting with everyone, but they are more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt than perhaps an total introvert might be.

8. You can be the center of attention — for just so long.

Sometimes it’s fun to be the life of the party and have all eyes on you.

Being the center of attention isn’t all bad for an ambivert, but then there are times you just want to blend into the crowd.

You might begin to feel drained if the attention is on you for too long, and you’re ready to pass the baton to someone else after an hour or so.

9. You have a split decision on the Myers Briggs test.

If you’ve ever taken the Myers Briggs personality test, you know that you receive a score that shows whether you’re more introverted or extraverted.

Ambiverts tend to have a split score with a similar number for introversion and extraversion. You may trend slightly more one way or the other, but the scores are pretty close.

If you haven’t taken the Myers Briggs assessment, here’s a free version you can take.

10. Different people view me differently.

The Myers Briggs results show that you are a blend of introversion and extraversion, but the people in your life might view you as one extreme or the other.

Because you are adaptable, you can change your behavior based on the situation you are in.

If you’re at a social event chatting it up with everyone, then the people around you are sure you’re an extravert.

But on those nights when you just want to curl up with a book by yourself while your friends go out and party, you’ll be labeled an introvert.

The keys to enjoying the advantages of your ambivert personality type are self-awareness and attention to your environment.

By learning more about ambiverts and finding out your personality type score, you’ll be more in tune with your natural abilities to adapt.

You’ll also find yourself thinking about how you should behave and react before you engage in a business or social event.

Knowing that you’re about to make a presentation to the quiet, introspective potential client, you don’t want to go into the meeting with both guns blazing.

Nor do you want to be the shy, retiring wallflower in a boisterous brainstorming meeting with your outspoken, extraverted boss.

You have the emotional capacity to shift when you need to shift and feel comfortable doing so. Optimizing this flexibility can help you be more successful in your relationships, career, and in all aspects of your life.

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Guide For The Millennial (And Everyone) Who Plans To Be Big

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Most millennials are probably on the verge of looking for their purpose in life. Despite the wide range of goals they have, one thing is sure. A lot of them don’t want to follow the ‘work to live’ kind of mentality.

If you are one of these people, knowing how to start your business properly is essential. Without the right tips, you can end up failing hard and losing your interest and passion.

Here are some tips for millennials who are planning to take the risk and leap to build their own business:

Always begin with a plan

begin with a plan

This is essential for every beginner. A good offense will always come from the best defense, so try developing a detailed game plan with future actions.

Your plan must identify all the opportunities, goals, targets, missions, and vision of your business. All of these must be in concrete detail along with your plans and your target deadlines for every objective.

Your plan can be your best defense to whatever bumps you’ll encounter ahead. Always make it as dynamic as it could be so that it can accept changes and alterations.

Build connections

build connections

Education is a continuous cycle. Always make sure you are learning something new every day.

Reach out to elders who know more than you. Never be afraid to ask questions if you are having difficulties or to seek help from someone who knows better than you do.

Successful company owners take one step forward and are active in the search for mentoring. It’s like going to community groups or attending seminars. In addition to learning, these things build connections, too.

Building relationships are critical. Until your brand is stable, you’ll have to exert extreme efforts in making your business known. One good way to expand social connections and networks is by reaching out to people online.

Talk to people you met from college or high school.

You can target them as your future clients or maybe employees. They can also be a big help when it comes to promoting your brand/business through word of mouth.

If funds are too short to implement these methods, try considering getting a loan. You can use a loan comparison site, such as Moneybanker, to get a clear idea of which companies can help you get exactly what you need. It comes with a directory and a search engine you can use to find the type of loan most suited for your business. It can save you time and effort searching through sites and search engines.

See Also: Finding Out the Best Time for Posting on Social Media Sites

Always be meticulous in checking your company’s growth

sales and marketing

As part of your game plan, you must be firm about having a strong marketing and sales plan. This includes writing down in bullets or outlining your targeted audience, sales and expenses before even starting out the business.

As an entrepreneur, you have to make sure that there is an inflow of cash. In that way, you’ll know how you’re creating sales and you can be confident about your business growth.

As part of your plan, always find ways to increase profits continually. Good marketing and promotion strategies are great ideas.

Going back to the first step, you need to make sure the strategies you have are moving in action. With this, you can be confident about the success of your business.

Picture out how you will reach out to your target audience. With the help of social media, always promote, share and market your business. This medium will help you know and reach your specific targeted customers.

Join communities and sponsor events as part of your promotions strategies. You need to make a buzz to invite new customers to try out your brand.

Learn how to balance your work and life

Being a busy CEO, it’s easy to totally forget about the other priorities you have outside of your company. You need to exert extra time and energy to make sure everything in your business runs smoothly. However, being busy and having time are two different things.

As the CEO, you need to balance out your work and life in general. Don’t let work eat you up.

Don’t be a workaholic. There are other priorities in life that need your attention, like your family and friends. They might require your presence as well.

It is important to take care of your health, too. Keep in mind that your business would not function well without you. Never think that working yourself to the ground will skyrocket you to success.

Maintaining balance will give you a sweet and fulfilling feeling. It is fine to push yourself to the limit, but make sure you know when to pause and stop. Your life does not revolve around work alone.

Find time to go out and leave some time to relax and freshen up your mind. In this way, you can also have fresh and better ideas. Never let pressure dominate your way of thinking and decision making.

Always have time for exercise or other recreational activities. With this, it is not only your business that is growing but you as a person as well.

Do some catching up with your friends and family. After all, they are one of the most important components of your life.

See Also: 5 Ways to Balance Work and Family Time Even if You’re a Workaholic

Always have patience and respect towards things

Your attitude towards people, customers, and things will be your value. Humble beginnings usually lead to modest success as well.

No matter how physically and emotionally stressed you are, always think of the 9/10 rule. Consider the other person’s feelings and learn how to control your own. Never be angry at people, especially if it is not their fault. Always remember that sharp words can dull respect.

If you want to be respected by the people around you, always remember that success starts within. Let your customers and employees feel you respect them, their works, and words. Be the boss who is open to suggestions and the manager who listens.

Always practice what you preach. Be consistent with whatever policy you are imposing and always follow the ground rules that you made.

It does not mean that if you are the owner, then it’s okay for you to break some rules. Always keep in mind that many people are watching you, so be the best example they can follow.

Respect is hard to earn. Show everyone that you respect them and that you deserve to be respected. There should always be a two-way role in every decision and action you make. After all, you need people as much as they need you.

Takeaway

As startup entrepreneurs, you’ll have a lot of challenges and success along the way. Always think about correcting your mistakes and continue learning from them. Learn from other people’s experiences and never be afraid to take a risk.

As millennials, it will always be difficult to succeed in the world of startups. However, with hard work and perseverance, soon you’ll see yourself getting used to whatever you are doing. Starting with a positive mindset, you’ll be able to keep going through whatever challenge you face.

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Drop In SEO Rankings: A Guide To Complete Recovery

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Say, one fine morning you wake up from sleep, get your quintessential cup of morning coffee and sit down at your workstation, only to find that the ranking of a huge chunk of your website has dropped. Now, before you freak out, make sure it’s actually an SEO ranking drop.

Even the smartest of the SEOs make the mistake of fretting and wasting time in the first few hours. For this reason, we have put together a small guide to help you manage dropped rankings successfully.

Is there an SEO ranking drop at all?

drop in ranking

This is the first thing you should check once your website indicates a drop in traffic and sales. Over the years at NYC SEO Authority, we have seen rank trackers not localized properly or being bamboozled by one of Google’s new SEO experiments to give false hits.

If this is the case, you need to find out…

Has organic traffic dropped in your concerned pages?

Compare the organic traffic of your affected pages before and after drop. Note the changes in traffic since after your rankings have dropped and think about possible factors, like Holidays and festivities, that could have brought the changes.

See Also: Effective Ways To Attract Web Traffic Even When On a Small SEO Budget

Does your ranking tracker show a drop in rankings as well?

We recommend our followers to keep a track of their regular keyword rankings to see if the ranking drop stays for a few days.

Once you are sure that the ranking tools are showing a sharp drop but your GSC clicks are still high, then it could be a natural fluctuation.

However, if you can see the ranking change along with the GSC clicks, then there are a few more things you ought to do:

google search

1. Check if a new Google algorithm has kicked in

Google is notorious for getting new algorithms every season and sometimes one has a completely different set of SEO rules from another. Quite a few blogs document even the minor changes in the SEO algorithm.

You can check out the following for all the latest news on Google SEO:

  • Moz
  • Search Engine Watch
  • Search Engine Land

2. Is the problem on your end?

You need to understand why Google is penalizing your website or why your website is not earning any more brownie points from Google. If the trouble is on your end, you will need to change your SEO plan to boost your website ranking.

Here are a few factors on your end that can cause an SEO ranking drop:

Have you changed internal links of the affected pages?

Internal links are the main contributors of high page ranks and if you changed the locations of your pages without updating your XML maps, Google may be penalizing you without any warning. This can happen when site navigation is updated or key pages are updated, too.

What changes have you made to the affected pages?

From changing URLs to removing H1 and H2 targeted keywords, these things can negatively affect your site’s ranking. Therefore, if your team has changed any of these things or even your pages’ keyword density, there’s a good chance you’ll experience a drop in your SEO rankings.

One thing you can do is check if Google spiders can still access your site and check Google search console for recent crawl reports.

Has there been a site-wide link loss?

This is another very common factor that drives the ranks of all websites. If your website has lost external links, then it will reflect on your site’s SEO rankings.

You can run Screaming Frog on your affected pages to check which other pages link internally to them. You can use Majestic or Ahrefs to find all websites that link to the targeted pages. If this is your problem area, you have no other way than to work towards getting those links back in place.

Has your competition website made any recent changes?

Sometimes you may see your SEO ranking drop after your competitors optimized their websites. In this case, there’s nothing more you can do than suck it up and revise your SEO plans.

You can use tools like Versionista and Wayback Machine to find all recent changes made on your competitor websites. You can spot which of your competitors gained traffic and which ones changed internal link structure from these tools.

Take note of what you learn from studying competitor websites. Learn from the improvements made by your competitor sites and implement the same on your pages to make it rank better.

We know it is difficult to stay calm when your Google ranking is challenged. However, these are a few things we do at our firm to make sure that our website always stay on top, even after having our Seo ranking drop.

See Also: The Future of SEO – Predictions and Premonitions That Will Dominate 2017

The post Drop In SEO Rankings: A Guide To Complete Recovery appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Pasel Kuenzel Architects Design a Luminous Home in the Netherlands

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This gorgeous 180 square-meter house was designed by Pasel Kuenzel Architects in 2016, and is located in the Netherlands. From the very first moment that we lay eyes upon this house, we can observe its style and design, which calls for our attention immediately. It appears to be sandwiched in between two other buildings; however, in its interior, that sensation dissipates entirely. It has bright spaces and clean wood floors,..

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