Personal boundaries are limits we set for other people regarding their behavior towards us. Establishing personal boundaries means stopping other people from pressuring us to do what we don’t want to do or put up with things we don’t want.
There are people in our lives that can violate our personal boundaries and make us feel uncomfortable, used and emotionally drained. Many of us put up with poor treatment by others because we are afraid to make them feel angry or lose their friendship. We might also feel guilty for standing up to other people and telling them no.
If you often feel like that and have difficulties building and keeping personal boundaries, there are a few things you need to practice.
Get Comfortable with Negative Emotions
Standing up for yourself and saying no to people very often gets a negative reaction from them. That is something to be expected and you need to realize that them getting mad is not your problem and that you cannot allow your boundaries to be violated just for the sake of avoiding negative emotions.
Even though people may get angry at first, they will soon realize they were asking too much from you. And if they don’t realize that and still hold resentment, that is not your fault. You should feel free to let them go.
Don’t Reward Poor Treatment by Giving People What They Want
When people learn that they get what they want from you even when they treat you poorly, they will be encouraged to continue doing that. By standing up for yourself and not giving them what they want, you’ll be teaching them that their behavior is not only unacceptable but also doesn’t get them anything positive. We have the power to guide how other people treat us by our reactions to their behavior.
Feel Free to Say No
You may be afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or appear selfish by saying no. However, you need to realize that saying yes when you mean to say no causes you to hold unnecessary resentment towards other people. That isn’t healthy for you and your relationships.
Saying no to someone doesn’t mean you are a bad or a selfish person. It means you are being honest about your feelings and desires.
You can stop other people from violating your boundaries by making yourself unavailable physically or emotionally. Don’t answer their calls and messages or tell them you are busy. Don’t react when they try to get something out of you and don’t participate in conversations that make you feel bad about yourself. Often, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from a situation that makes you uncomfortable.
Know What You Want
To be assertive and to establish clear boundaries, you need to know what you want from people and what your values are. You need to be in touch with your own wants and feelings to be able to communicate them and recognize when they are being hurt or violated. Be introspective and ask yourself if there are things that make you feel bad or uncomfortable but you do them anyway because you feel pressured by other people.
Don’t Try to Change People
People who violate other people’s boundaries usually lack self–awareness and that’s why it’s difficult to make them change their behavior. They see nothing wrong with it.
If someone can’t understand that their behavior is unacceptable even when you explain why, there’s nothing you can do about it. Trying to make them change is a waste of time and energy.
Practice Self-Care
Practicing self-care involves taking care of your health and body, taking alone time to relax and pursuing activities that make you feel happy.
When you practice self-care, you become more tuned with your own feelings. You learn to value and cultivate your own well-being. The more you practice self-care, the less likely you are to put up with people and behaviors that are not healthy for you.
Flaxseed has been around for many centuries and is fast gaining popularity worldwide due to its powerful nutritional and healing benefits. It can be consumed as a seed, in pill form, or as an oil.
Flaxseed has been proven to not only reduce the risk of cancer, diabetes, heart disease and stroke, but it’s also considered to be a cultured superfood that has numerous advantages to your health and well-being. It can help you with quick weight loss and in lowering cholesterol.
Here are nine (9) more amazing benefits of flaxseed you might want to know more about.
Clear Your Skin with Flaxseed
Flaxseed oil, which is made from ground and pressed flaxseed, is also called linseed oil. It’s one of the top natural moisturizers for the skin. It has amazing healing qualities that can also help clear up acne, and heal acne scarring as well as pigmentation marks. It can provide you with a more even skin tone and reduced appearance of dark circles under your eyes.
If you suffer from constipation or you have issues with your digestive system that prevent you from having normal and smooth bowel movements, consider taking flaxseed oil. It can help your system function more smoothly.
A good way to take flaxseed oil to gain its digestive healing benefits is to consume one cup of slightly warm water with 1 to 3 tablespoons of flaxseed oil every morning. You will soon feel a great deal of relief throughout the day. You can increase the number of cups and oil depending on how you feel.
It’s Gluten-Free
If you have a sensitivity to gluten or you suffer from celiac disease, you can benefit tremendously by incorporating flaxseed into your diet. It is a natural and healthy way to replace gluten type foods. This is because flaxseed has anti-inflammatory properties that can reduce the inflammation in your body usually caused by gluten and grains.
Flaxseed is a Cancer Fighter
Studies show that flaxseed can protect the body from cancer of the breast, colon, ovarian and prostate. This is due to the high amounts of omega-3 fatty acid and lignans. These two components help with balancing hormones, reducing and inhibiting tumor growth as well as reducing your body’s inflammation.
Flaxseed Helps You Lose Weight for Good
One of the benefits of flaxseed is weight loss. It contains healthy fats and fiber which can be beneficial for losing weight. These components help you feel fuller after eating. They can prevent you from taking in more calories than you need to and this results in faster weight loss.
To take flaxseed for weight loss, it is important to stay consistent in adding it to your diet. Start by adding 2 to 3 teaspoons into your smoothies, soups, salads and other foods and drinks. Be creative in finding ways to incorporate flaxseed into your weight loss plan.
What Is In Flaxseed That Makes It Such A Superfood?
Flaxseed contains a large dose of nutritional benefits for your body. This includes:
Due to flaxseed oil being high in alpha-linolenic acid (ALA), it has been proven helpful in treating and preventing heart diseases. Studies show that people who consume foods rich in ALA were less likely to experience a fatal heart attack. Another study shows that people who ate foods rich in ALA had less heart disease and their risk of death went down.
Flaxseed Can Eliminate Candida and Yeast from your Body
Candida and yeast can cause havoc in your body as they create many debilitating symptoms. The list includes changes in hormone levels, weakening of the immune system, digestive problems, weakness of joints, and urinary tract infections. Flaxseed is high in polyphenols which support the growth of probiotics.
Reduces Cholesterol
Flaxseed is an excellent cholesterol eliminator. This is due to its fiber content. Fiber traps the cholesterol from being absorbed into your bloodstream and eliminates it from your body.
Pro-Tips
Whether it is for weight loss or skin care or even for the prevention of cancer and heart disease, flaxseed can be one of the best positive dietary changes that you can do for your body.
The one thing that might be confusing is knowing the best way to consume flaxseed. To reap all its benefits, you need to take it in its sprouted form. This is when you soak the flaxseed and wait for the seeds to sprout. This gets rid of the phytic acid which helps with better mineral absorption.
The reason flaxseed should not be eaten whole is that your body will not get the most out of its nutritional value. The seeds will just pass through your digestive system. Although you will get benefits, it won’t be as extreme as taking the seeds in other forms.
Another great way to take in flaxseed is by grinding the seeds into powdered form. This is also called flaxseed meal. It is good to remember that when you to take grounded flaxseed, you have to consume it as soon as possible. When it is exposed to air, it loses its potency.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that you need to create the best plan for you to incorporate flaxseed into your daily health routine. Remember to stay consistent and focused on your health and well-being.
Nelson Mandela once said: “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.”.
This quote couldn’t be more precise.
As humans, we are attracted to other humans with whom we have something in common. If there’s something that two persons both like, hate or want, a rapport will suddenly grow and their connection instantly grows stronger.
One of the most common things that bonds people together is the language they speak. Obviously, if someone talks to you using your native language, you’ll be treating him differently compared to someone who speaks a foreign one.
Yet, even though learning a new language is extremely beneficial for several reasons, very few of us are really taking action. We’re somehow afraid of the hustle and work that comes with the process.
We can change our attitude by simply acknowledging the strong reasons of learning a foreign language. In today’s post, we’re going to convince you to pick a foreign language and start learning it immediately. Without further ado, let’s begin.
More Professional And Personal Opportunities
“One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.” ‒ Frank Smith
You’ve obviously seen a lot of employers looking for individuals who can speak more than one language. If you know more than just your native language, you’ll find more job opportunities along with better payments.
Moreover, the personal opportunities will be more numerous, too. You can communicate with more people, build new relationships and learn from different mindsets.
So, you see a hot person in the bar and you want to get in touch. You can use a foreign language to get a better chance of capturing the stranger’s attention.
Improved Cognitive Performance
When we learn new things, we’re using different cognitive functions, like our memory and problem-solving aptitudes. It’s no secret that learning a new language will make you a “smarter” person.
It doesn’t really matter what language you’re learning, how old you are or how smart you are. Your attention span will be improved. You’ll have a better memory in time and you’ll develop a strong resistance to age-related diseases, such as dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Ability to Establish Strong Connections with Other Nationalities
As mentioned earlier, grasping a basic understanding of a foreign language should open the gates of communication between you and other nationalities. It will not only help you in asking for specific information during your traveling journeys, but it can also help you build a friendship out of a small talk.
Connecting with people from other countries and cultures is truly important because it’ll help you become more open minded and tolerant. It’ll help you acquire tons of knowledge that would otherwise be impossible to gain.
Better Traveling Experience
Every one of you probably likes to travel. After all, all of us are curious what life looks like in different places. While grasping a foreign language, you can certainly enjoy a more intense experience while traveling abroad. That’s because you won’t just sit quietly and travel alone.
Instead, you can find travel buddies, talk to locals, hook up with beautiful men/women, build a lasting relationship and much more.
It has also been proven that bilingual brains are much better at self-controlling. Even though self-control also represents a cognitive function, it’s still worth noting how helpful such skill is in our daily lives.
Moreover, another study shows that learning a second language can help you make better decisions in life. The study emphasizes the fact that when a person speaks a foreign language, his tendency towards loss aversion significantly decreases.
See Your Own Culture from an Outsider’s Perspective
“You can never understand one language until you understand at least two” – Geoffrey Willans
Learning a second language will give you a lot of new insights. You’ll be able to understand how other foreigners perceive your country and culture. You’ll also see a lot of differences in your own perception, too.
Better Learner & Better Problem Solver
When you learn a new language, you keep solving problems. When you listen to a foreigner – or even better, if you talk to him – your brain continuously works. It works hard in order to make things clear. This type of ‘brain exercise’ is extremely beneficial in the long term because you’ll advance into a better learner.
Moreover, you’ll solve your problems faster and more efficiently. The reason is that by learning that foreign language, your brain has already “grown muscles” that allow you to “lift” your problems without a lot of hustle.
To learn a new language isn’t rocket science, yet it’s not that simple either. It all depends on your linguistic talents, the work you put in and the mindset you develop. Do this now, and you’ll praise yourself later.
Noise pollution is becoming a pressing global issue more and more each day especially in the urban setting. Studies have shown that due to urban noise, city dwellers experience an average hearing loss equivalent to a person who is around 10 to 20 years older than them. Seniors are in more danger because sudden and violent changes in volume can result to heart attacks and strokes.
With a projected annual urban population growth of 1.85 percent until 2020, we get to forecast an increase in a portion of the world’s population that gets exposed to noise pollution and its ill effects.
The same study also showed a 64 percent positive correlation between hearing loss and city noise pollution levels. That means hearing loss could likely be a direct or indirect result of modern city living.
Here are some useful hacks to protect your ears from the ever-growing noise of the city.
Minimize your personal environment noise
If you live in a noisy building or neighborhood, talk to the landlord and your fellow residents about the enforcement of a noise management plan to cover entertainment venues, commercial sites or construction activities around your area.
You may also apply acoustical adaptations, like a soundproof wall, double glazed windows and a quieter ventilation.
Try to keep your tone low when talking to elderly people. Hearing difficulties come with age. Don’t shout or raise your voice when talking to them. Instead, try whispering or coming closer to them while talking.
Music is life, but you need to limit the volume
We all need music in our lives. Without it, life would be a deafening silence. However, to enjoy music, we must listen to it at 60 percent of the maximum volume without going over 60 minutes per day.
Just as seniors love their music, it’s a good idea to tone it a bit down when they’re around. People with advancing age tend to block out other important sounds, such as cars honking or dogs barking, when loud music is playing.
It is also best for our health if we avoid using our personal music player as a tool to drown out background noise. Yes, that sounds like a bummer. But, when music that goes through your headphones becomes louder than any external sound, then it is too loud and can affect your sense of hearing negatively.
You shouldn’t have to wait until you observe hearing problems before you even start to care for your ears. The good side to most hearing problems is that most are preventable. With the right behavior, practice, environment and early detection, you get to prevent most hearing impairments.
Also, you shouldn’t just be taking care of your health, but other people’s as well. We have to be mindful of our surroundings and the noise we create that has the potential to harm other people.
Seniors should also have regular check-ups concerning their hearing as problems in the ears often develop into severe conditions. One good example is vertigo wherein balance gets affected.
Paying close attention to your ears is important, especially when there is still a stigma surrounding hearing problems and the deaf community. The truth is, everyone hears things differently and we can all benefit from some love and respect for each other.
When necessary, use earplugs
Earplugs are valuable in a world where people drown each other with noise. The use of earplugs can reduce sound levels by around 15 to 35 decibels. So, when you’re in a place with loud noise or music, use earplugs for protection.
If you’re at a concert scene, you can still enjoy live music with earplugs on as it only decreases the sound to a level that isn’t harmful. If you’re in a firing competition, you might want to use earplugs, too, since the blast of guns can be ear-splitting.
Find time to rest your ears
If you think you’ve overused your ears already, you must take the time to rest. Let your ears recover after exposing them to harmful decibel levels for a period.
According to a study, you would need at least 16 hours of rest, as a recovery period for your ears, after spending about two hours in an environment with a 100dB level of sound. An example of such place is a club. So, if you’ve been clubbing all night, try to rest and stay in a quiet place the following day.
Takeaway
There are certain steps for you to follow so you can protect your ears from irreparable noise damage. You can avoid listening to loud music for a set time. You can also visit an audiologist near you for a checkup so you wouldn’t have to wait for signs of impairment.
And while you cannot personally turn the volume from a construction site at a minimum and neither can you mute the sound of traffic, you can, however, show your support for local initiatives that regulate noise pollution.
The type that couldn’t fit into any clothes comfortably and started to sweat after walking 10 steps.
Now, this always sucked and it’s something I suffered from since I was a kid. I didn’t know what to do, so I continued to live this way for the first 24 years of my life.
I think I was actually starting to get comfortable with this odd figure. But then, I entered the professional workforce and things started to change very quickly.
I immediately realized how important it was to be in shape and not because of health or anything like that. It was because overweight people were treated differently.
I’d heard studies of this in college, about how overweight people were less likely to be hired because they were viewed as lazy. It’s something I always laughed about and never took seriously…
Until I started to witness these observations first hand.
I can’t say that didn’t suck but I’m honestly glad it happened.
Not because I like being viewed as lazy, but because it forced me to start my journey of losing weight and helping hundreds of others along the way.
The Start of My Journey
I knew I had a lot of work to do all around, but I first started with my diet.
I grew up not really knowing what “healthy” food was, but I knew enough to realize that it wasn’t Taco Bell and Mountain Dew.
So, I started searching around for healthy diets and finally settled on one that followed the traditional “low calorie” approach.
I liked this diet because I knew low-calorie diets were the best way to lose weight and this diet was also pretty flexible.
It told me certain foods to stay away from and as long as I stayed under my calorie limit, I’d be good to go.
After that, I took a test that they’d created, telling me how much to eat based on weight and goal. Then, I went to the grocery store right after.
I immediately stocked up on fruits and veggies, along with a bunch of Weight Watcher’s Meals that would serve as my breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I figured this was the best selection for me as the meals tasted pretty good and they’d help me keep my portions in check.
So, I started on this diet the next day. I set a deadline of 30 days before I was going to weigh myself. I don’t know the exact reason why I picked 30 days, but I knew that weighing yourself everyday would do more harm than good.
During the first 2 weeks, things weren’t really that bad. They were kinda nice actually.
I immediately realized an uptick in energy and started to lose some pounds around the midsection.
I was excited and wanted to weigh myself everyday, but I stuck to the plan and continued to stay away from the scale. However, days 15 to 21 hit and I noticed a huge shift in my mood and willpower.
I had really lost all my energy and I was absolutely hangry.
At first, I thought this was just a normal “correction” as I’d been making changes to my body, but the symptoms kept getting worse and worse.
I tried my best to plow through them and hit day 30, but I was noticing a significant decrease in my work. So, on day 25, I finally caved in and went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch.
Now, I’ve always been a fan of BDUBs, but I’ve never eaten as much as I did on that day.
I completely destroyed a large serving of boneless wings and then had some chips and queso to top it off.
Needless to say, I was absolutely miserable the rest of the day. However, as sad as it sounds, it was still better than being “hangry”.
Then I “Yo-yo’ed”.
Even though I’d had a very large cheat meal during that day, I still wanted to go home and see if I’d made any progress over the last 3 weeks.
Right when I got home, I jumped on the scale and to my surprise, I’d actually lost 11 pounds!
Now, that felt amazing. I’d never been able to really lose weight before and you’d think that would be enough to keep me going. But, like many other “yo-yo’ers”, I told myself I’d jump back on the diet soon. I just wanted to recollect my thoughts before going at it again.
So, I continued to eat “normal” for the next 4 weeks and after that, I was ready to jump back on my diet kick.
I decided to weigh myself on a Sunday before I was going to start. To my surprise, I’ had gained all my weight back…plus 10 lbs!
I couldn’t believe it. I was actually eating a little better than I had in the past so I figured I’d stay a few pounds under my normal weight. Instead, I reached an all-time high.
This was extremely depressing and I thought this was just a “me” problem.
I figured that my slow metabolism was out to get me and that I’d never been able to lose weight. Then, I started to dig into this problem and realized many others were having similar difficulties.
The most publicized examples were actually “The Biggest Loser” contestants. During my research, I came across a lot of articles where they were losing weight during the show. Then, months after the show was over, they were gaining it back and then some!
Now, this obviously intrigued me as I was having similar issues. That’s when I discovered the concept of “ghrelin’ and “fat burning mode”.
We’ll talk about these two concepts throughout the rest of this article, but as a quick overview:
Ghrelin is known as the “hunger hormone” because it helps control your appetite. This obviously has a lot of importance with dieting and can be a good thing. However, when you use the typical “low calorie” diets that are being preached today, then it does the exact opposite.
Why?
Because this style of dieting doesn’t lower your ghrelin levels, meaning you have the same appetite as you did when you started losing weight.
Now, that’s bad enough. But, on top of this, your metabolism actually decreases when you start to lose weight.
There are some fancy words for why this happens, but in short, it decreases because you’re smaller and don’t need as much energy….
And that means you have the same appetite but with a slower metabolism, a dynamic duo that essentially guarantees weight gain, whether that be in 1 month or 1 year.
This was an important discovery for me when I came across the concept of fat burning mode. These two are what really helped me kick-start my journey.
What Is Fat Burning Mode?
So, like with everything medical, there’s a lot of geeky terms that go into it. But, in the simplest form:
Our body has two different sources of energy- ketones and glucose.
Ketones are produced when fat is burned and glucose is produced when carbs are burned.
Since we have 2 different sources of energy we can burn, that also means we have 2 different “modes” that we operate in- glycogen burning mode (glucose) and fat burning mode (ketones).
Now, to be 100% accurate, we are technically always in both modes at the same time, but there’s always a primary mode and a secondary mode.
The secondary mode always uses minimal fuel, almost to the point of non-existence. From what I understand, we keep this secondary source alive just so our body knows that the backup source is still available.
Okay, that’s easy enough. But, how do we determine which one is primary and which one is secondary?
That’s actually the easy part of the formula. Glycogen burning mode always trumps fat burning mode.
It’s not because it’s a better source of fuel or anything like that, but because our body has to regulate glucose very closely.
Why?
Because glucose is sugar and our blood can only handle so much sugar at one time. Once our blood sugar hits the limit (which doesn’t take much), then insulin has to kick in and start removing sugar from the bloodstream.
Now, this is a good thing but that only leaves so much energy left in our system. That’s why we’re supposed to keep eating small meals while in glycogen burning mode.
Makes sense? Alright, here’s the true kicker.
Guess what happens with the excess sugar after insulin removes it from the bloodstream?
That’s right. It gets converted into stored energy- a.k.a body fat.
Now, that’s bad enough and shows how easy it is to gain body fat. Here’s where things get worse.
The typical western diet is full of carbs and that means we’ve pretty much been stuck in glycogen-burning mode our entire lives.
This is also why people work countless hours to deplete the glycogen in their body and start burning fat or, even worse, starving themselves while doing so.
And to show you the full cycle, that means it’s extremely easy to gain body fat but then you have to work your tail off just to access this stored energy.
Starting to see the problem here?
Alright, so I know that sounds depressing, but here’s the good news.
I’m a minimalist and I wanted to find ways to enter fat burning mode without living in the gym, starving myself or losing muscle along the way.
After years of research, along with the help of some unconventional doctors, I finally found that way.
And in the remainder of this article, I’m going to show you how you can benefit from this research as well:
How to Enter Fat Burning Mode Without Living In the Gym Or Starving Yourself
Step 1: Drink Exogenous Ketones
I actually came across this concept in my earlier days of researching the two different energy burning modes. Through that research, I kept seeing the phrase “exogenous ketones”.
At first, I thought the word sounded extremely fancy and it was some complex subject. However, as I soon learned, I realized that it’s really just a way of saying ketone supplements.
Anyway, when I was doing this research, I came across a story of an individual who started drinking these ketones and began to notice a great reduction in belly fat within a month after she started.
Now, she liked the results. However, she was drinking the ketones for energy and wasn’t quite sure why this was happening. So, she went to the doctor to make sure everything was okay.
It took her a few weeks to find a doctor that actually understood this subject. Once she finally did, he explained to her that by drinking these ketones, she was telling her body to burn fat.
Now, this makes sense as ketones are the source of energy that’s created by fat burn. To be honest, I was a little skeptical to think it was this easy.
So, I decided to test it out and sure enough, within 4 weeks, I had lost 7 pounds- without doing anything different!
Now, that felt great and I’ll show you how to further amplify these results in the next steps. First, you need to make sure you enter fat-burning mode by drinking ketones, so here’s what I advise:
Buy exogenous ketones. I personally recommend KetoCaNa by Ketosports. Those are good enough by themselves but if you really want to crank it up, buy MCT Oil Powder by Quest Nutrition along with it. This works well as KetoCaNa is exogenous ketones and MCT Oil creates ketones once it hits your liver. So, you’re pretty much getting a military grade dosage when you do this. Helpful hint: might be best to start with just KetoCaNa before moving to the full 1-2 punch.
Make a ketone shake every morning with a blender bottle full of water along with your preferred ketone source and drink it. I personally use 2 scoops of MCT Oil along with one scoop of KetoCaNa. But, again, it’s going to differ by person.
Try not to eat breakfast as this ketone shake will be more than enough to get you going.
Via beautynutrition
And that’s it. That’s all you need to enter fat-burning mode.
This trick can work for anybody. However, if you’re diabetic, please consult with your doctor before trying anything out. Insulin sensitivity or restriction can do some funny things with glucose and I want to make sure your body is able to handle both modes before you try it out.
Step 2: Keep Carb Intake Under 20g Per Day
Now that we’ve entered fat burning, it’s important to keep this going.
Technically, you would lose some fat if you just drank a ketone shake every morning and waited to eat until lunch time. But, since we’re already getting into fat burning mode, why not keep it going. And on top of that, the process really isn’t that complex.
As I mentioned earlier, carbs create glucose and that’ll put you into glycogen burning mode. So, the only way to get around that and stay in fat burning mode is by keeping your carb intake low.
Now, everybody is a little different and there’s really not a one-size-fits-all answer, but the one route that does work for everybody is keeping your carbs under 20g per day.
So, why does this differ for everybody then?
Well, because the only time your body turns back into glycogen burning mode is when glucose hits your liver. Some of the glucose that you consume is used up by your muscles, so that’s really where most of the flexibility comes in.
In other words, if you just finished a serious workout and used all the glycogen in your muscles, then you could probably afford a little more than 20g and still stay in fat burning mode.
If you don’t eat carbs, that’s fine, too. Your body can create glucose out of protein. I’m just letting you know why you can have some carbs and still stay in fat burn.
The last thing I wanted to point out is that when I mention 20g of carbs, I mean in general- not any of that “net carb” stuff.
If you’re not familiar with “net carbs”, a lot of people will use the formula of total carbs – fiber= net carbs to determine their daily carb intake.
The logic behind this is that fiber doesn’t turn into glucose and shouldn’t be included as a carb. To some extent, I do agree, but I’ve also seen a lot of people get kicked out of fat burning mode by eating too many carbs in general.
I’ve done a lot of research on this and I can’t really find an exact answer. But, from what I’ve gathered, excess amounts of fiber can turn into glucose.
Again, don’t quote me on that, but I’ve seen what it does so I know it’s important to stay careful with it.
Alright, so since we’re restricting carbs, then what types should you eat?
I always recommend green and leafy vegetables, like broccoli.
It’s important to consume these types of carbs as they’re full of nutrients (like fiber) and they don’t turn into glucose that fast, giving you even more leeway on your total intake.
And that’s really everything you need to know about staying in fat-burning mode, well from a carb standpoint. We’ll cover the rest in the next section.
As a quick recap:
Keep your daily carb intake under 20g (to start).
Try and spread carbs throughout your day/meals. Try not to eat all of your daily carbs at once, but if you’re starting at 20g, you’re probably fine either way.
Get your carbs from healthy sources like leafy vegetables or avocados.
That’s how you stay in fat burning mode. I know it doesn’t sound fun, but once you start to feel the effects and see the results, staying away from carbs gets pretty easy.
On top of that, you don’t have to starve yourself either, you just have to…
Eat A Lot of Dietary Fat (High Fat, Moderate Protein, Low Carb Diet)
Now that we’ve entered fat burning mode and learned how to stay out of glycogen burning mode, it’s time to take care of everything else.
And by everything else, I guess I should just say ghrelin.
Remember that hunger hormone that I talked about earlier? The one that forces everybody to yo-yo diet?
Yeah, that’s never going to go away and if we don’t control it, we’re at an uphill battle.
That’s where this next step comes into play. It’s highly important to not starve yourself and, instead, eat a high fat/moderate protein/low carb diet.
Why exactly does this diet work so well? Let’s break it down into sections, starting with fat.
High Fat
The first thing I like to mention with fat is that it absolutely has nothing to do with making you fat.
Well, I guess if you ate an absurd amount of it, like to the point of vomiting, then maybe. But, as we discussed earlier, body fat is nothing more than stored energy.
And since it’s stored energy, then there’s no reason why we should believe fat is what causes fat (unless you eat excess amounts).
On the other hand, remember when we talked about how glucose is quickly converted into body fat? And not because it was a lot of calories, but because our body can only handle so much sugar in the blood at one time?
Yeah, that’s also the reason why it’s so easy to gain weight while in glycogen-burning mode. You could easily eat 3 big meals and gain some extra body fat with every meal.
Fat, on the other hand, lasts a lot longer and really doesn’t create any metabolic issues. This is why you’ll hear a lot of people eat a high-fat diet while they’re intermittent fasting, because the sustained energy can last them all day.
In other words, don’t worry about the constant small meals that you’re supposed to eat while in glycogen-burning mode.
Then, in addition to this, fat also helps control ghrelin.
This is helpful for curbing your hunger, but it’s also helpful as it lowers your ghrelin levels as you lose weight. This means you won’t run into the high appetite and slow metabolism problem that most yo-yo dieters incur.
So, how much fat should you eat then?
I’ll give you ratios in a second, but from a practical standpoint, just eat fatty foods until you’re full. Don’t worry about counting calories, weighing out food or any of that junk- there’s no need to do that with high-fat meals.
Why?
Because the body is really good about self-regulation when in fat burning mode and it’ll let you know if you need food or not.
At the same time, I realized ratios are easier to follow in the beginning. We’ll get there soon, but, first, I wanted to cover exactly what “fat” is.
I do this because when most people hear fat, they instantly think of snickers and candy-things that make us fat.
When I say fat, I mean healthy fats, like:
Grass-fed beef (any beef is okay, but grass-fed is always better) Fatty fish (sardines, salmon, etc.) Pork (pork chops, pulled pork, even bacon) Butter (just make sure it’s real butter) Full-fat sour cream Full-fat cheese Avocados Eggs Pepperonis Cream cheese Coconut oil Olive Oil Avocado Oil Walnuts Etc…
In all honesty, the only fats you really need to stay away from is trans fat and “seed oils”.
I think most people are aware that they need to stay away from trans fat, but here’s the problem…
Food companies are able to hide the fact that their food contains trans fat by titling it “hydrogenated oils” which is the exact same thing.
A Big Fat Recap:
If you’re counting calories, try and make sure 75% of your calories are from fat.
Make sure you’re eating healthy fats.
Avoid trans fats or “hydrogenated oils”.
Avoid seed oils like vegetable oil, sunflower oil and canola oil as these oils are highly inflammatory and not good for you.
Protein
We’ve talked a lot about carbs and fat, but we haven’t mentioned protein yet.
And that doesn’t mean protein isn’t important. That just means it’s a little more flexible than the other two.
Before jumping into the specifics of protein, it’s important to remember that protein’s main function is for muscle repair and growth, not energy.
This is also why bodybuilders love it so much and the exact reason why it’s been so severely misunderstood over the recent years.
Now, people think they can just eat protein all day and make muscle, when that’s simply not the case. Muscle has to be created from somewhere (i.e. breaking down muscle from lifting and repairing it with protein), so please keep that in mind.
The second thing I want to point out is that when you consume too much protein (i.e. more than your muscles need), then the excess protein will turn into glucose through a process called gluconeogenesis.
Now, this is also a highly debated issue. Some health bloggers make it sound like one bit of chicken creates glucose in the blood while other bloggers offset this by saying 100% protein will keep you in fat burning mode.
And I’m here to tell you they’re both wrong. I’ve tested both analogies and both strategies have kicked me out of fat burning mode.
Here’s how you can cut through the noise and avoid this.
Protein is important and something you should consume. Unless you’re lifting every day, then you probably don’t need to eat 300g of it.
Like everything else, the amount will vary by person. As a 6 ft, 175-pound male, I try and stay under 100g per day.
With all that said, from a practical standpoint, if you can eat at least 1 gram of fat for every gram of protein, then you’re probably okay.
I know this can be hard at times, especially when you’re eating a lot of meat-heavy meals. So, to offset that, I’ll usually melt a bunch of butter and dip each bite of meat into it- problem solved!
Protein Recap:
Try and consume 20-25% of your calories from protein.
Too much protein can be a bad thing, but it takes a lot to get there.
Just try and eat at least 1 gram of fat for every gram of protein, and you should be okay.
Protein is important, but not the saving grace that many think it is.
Carbs
We’ve already talked about this subject and I don’t have too much more to add. But, there are some other things I wanted to relay for the purposes of clarity.
As we discussed earlier, we can only convert back to glycogen-burning mode after glucose hits the liver. That can only happen when the muscles don’t use all the glucose that you’ve put into your body.
In other words, if you eat some extra carbs right after lifting heavy weights, then you’ll probably be okay as the muscles will soak it up.
On the other hand, as we discussed with protein, your body can also make glucose with protein so you really don’t need to eat carbs. That’s why there’s no such thing as an essential carb.
But, if you are going to still eat carbs, just try and eat them from healthy sources, like berries and veggies.
These foods will help provide other nutrients and be helpful overall. Just make sure you’re careful with how much you eat. Some foods, like apples, can add up in a hurry!
Carb Recap:
Try and stay under 20g of carbs each day.
Try and get your carbs from healthy sources.
You really don’t need carbs, just up protein if you don’t.
These amounts will vary by person and how active you are.
Feel the burn…
And that is your complete guide to burning fat.
If you follow these simple steps and stick with it for a few months, I absolutely guarantee you’ll love your results and keep going.
As with any hard changes in your diet, it might feel weird at first. But, with the help of everything I’ve put in this guide about the best way to lose weight, I have no doubt that it’ll help you progress with your weight loss goals.
The growing popularity of chatbots goes without question. We are all familiar with a rule-based chatbot that is quite easy to distinguish from a human being. It demands exact command input to respond, so this form of communication isn’t that new.
However, AI-powered chatbots make a different story. In addition to the information-providing bots, like Echo by Amazon or Apple’s Siri, that has almost no influence on marketing and sales, online stores get their loyal assistants represented by branded chatbots.
These chatbots are taking a firm position in modern marketing. In 2016, a lot of retailers started using chatbots to foster brand awareness and personalize customer experience.
It was the right decision for both sides. Modern clients are less responsive to old marketing techniques; they appreciate advanced approaches to communication.
Why chatbots?
A chatbot is a form of software that’s able to hold a conversation in audio or text format. This is a robot copying human behavior. Due to artificial intelligence, chatbots can imitate real communication with a human being.
Machine learning presupposes that chatbots can study and enrich their knowledge. The more they communicate, the smarter they become. However, it will still depend on who they talk to, as the case with Tay Twitter bot by Microsoft.
Nevertheless, social networks and media, like Facebook and CNN, are still interested in chatbots.
After Mark Zuckerberg had presented the first Facebook-Messenger-based chatbot, brands were very fast to adopt the technology. For instance, 1-800 Flowers gave its customers an opportunity to write a name of a friend in its app to order a bouquet for this person.
Chatbots are easy to set and this feature makes them a perfect tool for e-tailers. The similar personalized approach to promotion is applied to one more popular trend called influence marketing.
What is influence marketing?
Influence marketing is a type of marketing aimed at delivering a brand message via industry leaders. Instead of communicating with your customers directly, you hire an influencer. Thus, the target of such companies is not a whole market but a group of influencers.
The main idea of influence marketing is establishing mutually beneficial relations. Such cooperation brings better reach both for the brand and influencer.
Influence marketing is widely spread on Youtube. There are a lot of popular bloggers working with well-known brands to promote their products.
Tarte, for example, organized Trip with Tarte campaign for beauty-bloggers with 1 million+ followers covering all their expenses. The only condition was to shot a video about the trip and share it with the #tripwithtarte hashtag. As a result, millions of internet users learned of the brand. Quite a wide reach, isn’t it?
Takumi made a research showing that brands are interested in working with influencers than with celebrities. But, according to another survey, if an influencer’s post isn’t original enough, it won’t have a strong impact on women.
The answer is simple- you’ll become a marketing wizard.
At the end of last year, two companies combined efforts to create the first influence chatbot for the American brand Cover Girl. Marketing platform (The Amplify) and chatbot developer (Automat) turned Kalani Hilliker, a Dance Moms’ celebrity and an influencer, into a chatbot. Based on Kik messenger, the chatbot mimics the star’s personality to promote Cover Girl coupons.
What kind of marketing magic happens there?
Engaging
You have only 7 seconds to make the first impression. It concerns not only real-life meetings but also online behavior. People spend on site 10-20 seconds on average so the faster you start reacting, the more chances you get to interest your potential client.
Cost effective
How much time do you spend daily to answer identical questions of your customers? Sooner or later, you’ll get tired of writing the same responses so you hire a person to do this for you or you buy additional equipment for that. Chatbot can do it all for free.
Customized
Imagine an influencer talking to you like a friend who knows all your tastes and needs. Sounds like a dream, but now it’s a reality. Speaking about Kalani’s case, the bot managed to generate 14% higher conversion rate than an average Kalani’s post in social networks with striking 91% of positive feedbacks from its users.
Can I create my personal chatbot?
The easiest way out is to hire somebody to do the job for you. But first, you need to know that AI development is rather expensive. Why so?
The technology is comparatively new and there are not many top-level specialists. Lack of skilled programmers can boost the price of the process. Even hiring a junior AI developer will cost you more than $1000/mo, let alone seniors who will demand at least $8,000/mo. Some forums even suggest addressing development institutes to find a future employee there.
But, do you need to hire a programmer to build a chatbot for your marketing campaign? The answer is no. You can find a lot of various tools for building your own chatbot. Even having no skills in coding won’t stop you from getting one. Platforms like Chatfuel don’t require any programming experience and allow you to create an AI chatbot for Facebook or Telegram.
By combining chatbots and influence marketing, you will discover a wide range of opportunities. You don’t necessarily have to be a developer. The only limit is your imagination, so don’t be afraid of mixing new strategies to become more efficient.
You’ve probably heard it said a million times before: Advancing your career is as much about who you know as it is what you know.
And this is why being an active networker and building business relationships are crucial to long-term success.
Contrary to popular misconception, networking is not about handing out scores of business cards. It is about making a real connection with the people you meet so that they remember you and are motivated to stay in touch with you after the event is over. In order to do this, you must make a lasting impression.
Of course, you are not going to be able to be instant best friends with all the professionals you meet when networking. Despite this, you still need to move beyond the basics of networking and make certain that you get remembered as more than a person who handed out a business card at an event.
At the next event you attend, you can try the following tips to make connections that will pay off:
Be Yourself
You need to relax and be yourself. You are obviously likable, interesting and have a lot to say given the opportunity – just ask your friends. Therefore, instead of getting into a conversation in which you are struggling to find the right words or worrying that you will not be interesting enough, pretend that you are having a conversation with your friends over dinner and be yourself.
It will possibly sound silly, but a great way to feel comfortable being yourself is to always wear clothes that make you feel great. Wearing something you like will help you remain relaxed and comfortable. If you wear something just because social convention dictates that you do so, this could lead to you coming out as buttoned up.
Be Open
Do not be afraid to open up to the people that you have met for only a little bit. Many people tend to put on strictly business faces when they are in a networking environment. Even though it is vital to remain professional, sharing some personal information about yourself is always a great way to start making deeper, lasting connections.
This in itself automatically makes you more memorable and relatable. It opens the door for future interesting conversations.
You need to understand that the moment you reveal something personal about yourself, you have given the other individual consent to do the same. Taking this risk to be vulnerable will draw more people to you as you will seem real.
Be Inquisitive
Even though you want to share personal information about yourself, do not make the conversation all about you. People like talking about themselves and their lives. Therefore, if you happen to be shy, you will need to ask questions that can get other people to open up.
You have to go beyond the basics of “How do you find it working at your current company?” and “What motivated you to get into that field or that career?”.
Even though these are great conversation starters, they will not make you very memorable. Instead, ask questions that can disarm your fellow conversationalists a bit.
A creative way to accomplish this is to be specific in your conversation- even if it means that you have to be random so as to do it. An alternative will be to ask for advice from the people that you are conversing with at the networking events.
You will find that people tend to relax and share more information when you position your networking conversation go-to’s like, “How did you get into the advertising field?”. Such a question solicits the personal advice of the person you are conversing with. He or she will end up providing you with tips that can help you be more successful in your field.
Be Generous
Lastly, a good way to make a connection that will last is to assist where you can. If you can offer some expertise, a piece of advice or make an introduction to a contact, people will always be thrilled. Such individuals will be more likely to stay in touch with you as they know that you can be a great resource.
If there is a way that you can help out, regardless of how small or big it is, do it. Build up your networking karma by being generous and it will return to help you.
It is true that networking is about getting your face, name and business card out into the world but, in the end, what is important is making real connections. Therefore, you need to relax, be yourself and think about engaging with the people you meet. Do these things instead of focusing what you will say the next time they ask a question and you won’t have a hard time building business relationships.
Feeling anchored down by debt is defeating. You’ll have a hard time setting aside money into savings, purchasing your dream home or embarking on enthralling vacations. Instead of spending decades weighed down by debt, start working toward financial freedom now.
Assess the Situation
To begin, you must know where you are. Personal finances are like a bucket with holes: the money you earn is poured into the bucket and what you spend trickles out the bottom.
While most people know what they make, they are a bit hazier on where that money is going. They often don’t have much wiggle room on how much money is coming in, so the only thing that can be influenced is the flow of money out of that bucket.
Determining what you spend on is key to plugging up the holes. This will give you the freedom to spend that money on what’s more important to you. Little purchases add up very quickly and by assessing your situation, you’ll be able to identify where most of your money is going.
The realization you can get out of this could be both very surprising and enlightening. Many financial institutions can make tracking your spending habits easier through their online banking system. You’ll be able to categorize and filter by type of expenditure.
Create a Budget
Once you know where your money is going, it’s time to analyze. Many people feel that creating a budget is a scary, insurmountable or difficult task. Some of them don’t even know how to make one.
Budgeting is merely creating a plan for how you’d like to spend your money in the future. It’s simply a process of deciding if what you spend is reasonable or superfluous. If there is an area you feel you might be overspending, you can cut back and allocate your financial resources to a different area. Maybe instead of spending so much on entertainment, you’d like to save for a trip.
There are many websites and apps designed to make budgeting easier. Most of these sites and apps are free. Budgets are highly personal and customizable, so make sure to create one that’s workable and sustainable for you and your circumstances. If it’s not, you won’t be able to stick to it and your budget will be pointless.
After about a month, reassess your spending to see if you are within your budget. Make adjustments to ensure your spending is not keeping you from your financial goals and that your budget is not unnecessarily restricting.
Financial discipline can be challenging, but it should be viewed as a tool to help you ultimately reach your financial goals. Skipping the step of reassessment will result in your budget’s failure. You can end up returning to your previous spending habits and neglecting your finances. You need to keep yourself accountable, but this doesn’t need to be negative.
Many people feel shame or guilt for not being able to stick to their budget, but it doesn’t need to be that way. If there’s a consistently large discrepancy between your spending and your budget, make some adjustments. Personalization is essential for a budget to work.
For example, if you realize that your spending estimate in a certain category, like food or fun, wasn’t very realistic, you can adjust your budget, spending or both. This adjustment is critical to your financial success.
Changing how you spend can be a difficult habit to break and changes usually occur slowly, so don’t get frustrated if it’s taking a while. Continue to reassess every month or two to ensure progress.
Meet with a Professional
Trying to handle a mountain of debt alone might leave you feeling more frustrated than when you began. Many financial institutions offer professional financial counseling with little or no cost to you. They can assist you in creating and sticking to a budget as well as in identifying a course of action that will be helpful for your financial future, such as how to repair or build your credit score. They can also assist you in finding other options you might not be aware of, like refinancing a loan to get a lower interest rate or payment.
Speaking with a professional can help you to gain a heightened understanding of what your specific struggles are and how to overcome them. An outside perspective, especially one from a financial consultant, can help you develop the right approach.
Address Credit Card Usage
While credit cards are not inherently bad, they are also not right for everyone. Some people have difficulty controlling spending with credit cards since a card is so easy to swipe. They can get into the habit of mindless swiping until the card is declined.
Fixing this requires a shift in mindset. You need to restrict yourself to make purchases only if there is sufficient cash available in your bank account to afford the expenditure. Knowing yourself is crucial in developing financial health and if credit cards are too much of a temptation to overspend, then perhaps they are not for you. It might be best to stick to debit cards or cash.
The best way to use credit cards is to pay them off by the due date every month, which prevents a rollover balance the next month. This will avoid interest and late charges. By paying them off monthly, you can basically use the card for free. Automating your payment can make it effortless and ensure you don’t pay extra.
If you still have debt you’re working to pay off, experts recommend paying off the card with the highest balance first. Also worth considering is checking to see if you qualify for a lower interest rate or if you can transfer your balance from a higher interest card to a lower interest card.
However, beware of extra fees that could be charged by doing this and make sure you are aware of all the terms. Keep in mind how your credit score will be affected if you decide to apply for interest rate changes. Ask a professional consultant specific questions about what would be best for you in your current circumstances.
Managing finances doesn’t have to be overwhelming or intimidating. Support is available whether through speaking with an expert or utilizing websites and apps. Living within your means and sticking to a budget can allow you to keep your “bucket” full. Much like physical healthy living, financial health and independence require effort, but it pays off and can enable you to live more freely.
Celebrity endorsements are nothing new. Even as far back as the 1700s, the Royal Family was singing the praises of Josiah Wedgwood’s pottery. To this day, Wedgwood is still a household name.
Building a brand takes a lot of work and until very recently, the best way a brand could build a customer base was by paying a celebrity to endorse a product. This created a shortcut to word-of-mouth advertising as a celebrity served as a stand-in for all the small person-to-person recommendations that would ordinarily be used to build buzz around a brand.
There was a time when people trusted celebrities, but that time has passed. Now people rely on regular people to give them recommendations about goods and services. This has led to a rise in a brand-new phenomenon: the social media influencer.
Social media influencers have a few common traits
The social media influencer is a person who was not famous initially but may become famous.
It is a person who built a social media following around a particular topic over time.
Influencers are typically seen as more authentic and trustworthy than celebrities.
Influencers are more likely to interact with their audience than celebrities.
Whereas celebrities are handed down from Hollywood and we don’t generally get much choice about which ones become or stay famous, social media has given rise to a new democratic way to decide who gets to become famous. Influencers aren’t made famous by being discovered by Hollywood – they become famous by being genuine and building up a following over time.
This, of course, means that you can set out to become an influencer as a job. That’s right. The next time your mom tells you that you are spending too much time on your phone, you can tell her that you are working on your next career as a social media influencer.
Decide what you are passionate and knowledgeable about and start building your following online within that community. If the community does not yet exist, all the better- that means you get to guide it!
Stay authentic and always interact with others when possible.
Once you have built a significant following on a topic, look for brands in that space that may be open to influencer marketing. Pitch them an idea on how you would market their product on social media.
Of course, it’s not a traditional career path and it is constantly changing. This means you will need to be able to change directions whenever you discover something isn’t working.
When social media influencers first came on the scene a little over a decade ago there were basically no rules. That meant that you could take a payment to say something nice about a brand or a company and never have to disclose it. These days, there are rules in place that prevent that from happening.
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) wants to make sure that viewers know when they are seeing an advertisement. This is why when you are scrolling through twitter, you will often see #ad or #sponsored. Influencers must make it clear when they are in a contract with a company or with a brand so that there is no confusion about the fact money has changed hands.
Following the rules is only one part of the equation, though. You also have to remain authentic and believable in order for your services to be viable as a form of advertising. One of the major changes that has taken place over the evolution of social media influencers is that advertisers are no longer moved to write a check based on your follower count – they are looking for actual quantifiable results. That means you will have to be able to turn your Instagram #ad posts into an actual pipeline for sales.
As you embark on your new career as a social media influencer, remember to be authentic and to always follow the rules. Nearly three quarters of teens think that YouTubers are more relatable than celebrities, and 88% of people trust online recommendations as much as in person ones. There’s a lot of room for the role of the social media influencer to grow. How will you take advantage of the evolution of the social media influencer ?
Did you ever lose something that changed you completely? Something that obliterated your expectations, squashed your goals or undermined your existence? Did you ever run out of everything meaningful until you found yourself staring blankly into a void?
This common yet unsettling experience is a disguised blessing that only a few people recognize as such. Why a blessing?
Because it’s only when a slate is wiped clean that you can write on it. It’s only after a bully comes over and shakes your Etch-a-sketch that you start considering what to create next (sorry, 90s kid).
Life is complex, especially in today’s world where we can browse options to the point of paralysis. It’s no wonder that a lot of people find themselves in need of renewal or a serious self-assessment. But, that’s not a moment of failure. It’s a jumping off point for overcoming challenges.
Philosopher Albert Camus uses the Myth of Sisyphus as a metaphor for the human condition. You know Sisyphus, the guy in Greek mythology who was condemned to push a rock up a hill for eternity only to have it roll back down again? Yeah, he’s the one.
Camus refers to Sisyphus as the epitome of an “absurd hero” or a person who experiences, hopes and tries in spite of his undeniable mortality.
A lot of people might think of this “hero” as more of a loser, slaving and living a foolish life in vain. But, that’s a misunderstanding, because a hero has the opportunity to first change himself and then the world. He doesn’t have to be useless or hopeless. Rather, he can grow, learn and thrive against all odds and that makes victory even sweeter.
Sisyphus has a powerful weapon in his arsenal: radical acceptance. The hero understands that he is but a speck in existence with no special significance. He accepts it without a hint of denial and, most importantly, he doesn’t give up after becoming aware of this. He doesn’t give himself away to a “default” life. Simply, he makes the choice to keep himself and all the burdens that come with him.
“The one truly serious philosophical problem is suicide.” – Camus
Sounds morbid? It really isn’t. What it means is that when we’re faced with life-altering events, questions and even despair, that’s when we actually choose life. We suddenly realize what kind of life we want and why. Prior to that, we’re just existing.
So, you might think, “What do all these metaphors really have to do with me?”.
They can serve as a guide in overcoming challenges, handling transitions and going through hardships.
Calling this crazy, rock-pushing fellow Sisyphus a hero shatters every common notion we have about what a hero is. He’s not glamorous, flawless or doing anything remarkable at first glance. He’s not even saving people. So, then why is he (aka. YOU) a hero?
Camus calls him the “Absurd Hero” because of his persistence in the face of absolute struggle. He feels and he doubts, but he continues in spite of the oblivion staring him in the face each day. This concept of a hero is much more realistic than Superman or the Green Lantern.
People aren’t exactly eager to become the Absurd Hero. It’s challenging.
So, when does a plain old person become an “Absurd hero?”.
It could be after a divorce, confusing college years or a long-term job loss. While all are generally unpleasant experiences, all of them have one thing in common- they force you to reassess yourself, your goals and your plan of action. They force you to face major life questions that most people don’t think about often.
It feels something like plunging into a dunk tank after some lucky pitcher finally hits the target. It’s not the asshole target-hitter that you should be focusing on. It’s the plunge.
When everything at the core of you is in question, you find an answer.
I’m talking about moments of total lucidity. That’s when Sisyphus (aka you) is at the top of the hill, pitifully watching his big dumb boulder roll all the way back to the bottom. Feeling helpless and depressed is often unavoidable but contrary to what society tells us, there’s no need to be ashamed of negative feelings. They are catalysts that keep us alive and choosing.
You thought your big dumb boulder (marriage, business, friendship, whatever) meant something. Well, it doesn’t anymore or maybe it never did. Now, you’re dumbfounded.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
No one ever wants to face things like uncertainty, being miserable, or starting over. Yet, these are the exact things that will lead you to clarity because they’ll force you to find it.
Some of us can remember these moments right down to the date they happened while for others, everything just belongs to a blurry time frame. For some, these kinds of moments never happened yet or maybe they never will.
It can be confusing, excruciating, or simply unpleasant. You could spend a moment in it or maybe a few years. Regardless, it ends in choice. Once becoming conscious of a dilemma, some choice is inevitable, even if you choose inaction.
In other words, you have to choose your own rock—your boulder that you’d be willing to push up that giant, eternal hill. This might sound torturous, but it won’t be. Once you’ve found the right thing to push for, you’ll always be fueled.
“The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” – Camus
So, how do you find a reason to live when all of the obvious ones were exhausted, didn’t work out or weren’t fulfilling?
Get back to the basics.
Think of the things that you never tire of. The things that always provide you with inspiration and the things you could see yourself helping others with on a broad scale.
Sig Nordal 