Are you truly happy?

A lot of people forget that happiness is a choice. They overlook the fact that being happy is a conscious choice one has to make each day.

Many people live their lives blaming everyone and everything for their problems. Others just can’t let go of the past and, instead of enjoying the moment, they become nagging pessimists.

If you wish to be happy, here are 9 things to give up to be happy immediately:

Give up control

We often wish to control everything that happens in our lives. We want to control people, events, situations and even our coworkers. Literally, we wish to control every part of our lives.

However, the truth is that we cannot control everything that happens. The only thing we can control is our mind.

Be willing to give up your need to be in control always and see the beauty in letting it go. Let life unfold itself.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength” – Marcus Aurelius

See Also: Changing Perceptions: Understanding What We Can Control In Life

Give up on negative self-talk

The most destructive force in the universe is the person you see in the mirror. Negative self-talk can have such a hold on you and your psyche that it can literally destroy you.

Don’t hurt yourself by having a negative, destructive and self-defeating mindset. Don’t believe yourself all the time. Often you are lying to yourself.

The truth is that you are more than what your negative mind tells you.

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways” – Buddha

Give up the need for validation

Many people go through life trying to impress others constantly. Their whole lives revolve around impressing others.

People will often change their look and personality just to have a better appeal to others.

Unfortunately, trying to get validation from others has never made anyone happier so stop trying so hard to impress others. Take off your mask and let the world see who you truly are. Embrace the real you and let your lovely mannerism, warm heart and kindness speak out. Give yourself the chance to impress others by being you.

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde.

Give up attachment

As soon as you are ready to understand the world around you, you’ll find yourself looking for attachment. Most of the time, it is presented as love.

From early on, we learn to attach ourselves to family, jobs, friends and to one special person. If you want to become happier, detach yourself from all of these people. Keep in mind that not because you detach yourself from them means you don’t love them anymore. Love and attachment actually have nothing to do with each other.

Love is a kind of selfless act where you would treat others the same way you would like to be treated. Love comes from a place of kindness, joy, happiness, empathy, while attachment comes from a place of fear of not wanting or being able to do something. You might not fully grasp this at first, but keep practicing and, soon enough, you’ll learn how to let go of attachment.

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.” – Simone Weil

Never place your worth on your career

Have you met someone whose whole life revolves around his career?

There are literally thousands of people like that walking around. These people tryy really hard to please their bosses in every possible way.

Yes, we all need to work to survive and feed our families. Often, this also involves relying on someone else for recognition and approval. In general, there are nothing wrong with these things.

The problem starts when we base our happiness solely on our employer’s validation. Basing your happiness on external validation is a sure way to become unhappy because you are letting your employer decide your value.

Instead, don’t wait for your bosses’ validation. Validate yourself every day and tell yourself how good you are with your job.

What if you don’t get the promotion you worked so hard for? You are going to be tanked, aren’t you?

So, instead of waiting on someone else’s validation; validate yourself every day.

“Expectations feed frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish to control; but don’t” – Steve Maraboli

Let go of the past

Often times, when things don’t seem to go as planned, we look back at the past and regret our decisions. These actions contribute more to our unhappiness.

Instead of looking back, it’s better if we let it go. It will be hard, but you have to realize that there is nothing you can do to change the past.

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.” – Mandy Hale.

Give up future results

Remember the last time you reached your goal?

You feel successful, confident, smart and very proud of yourself. Reaching a goal, especially a major one, makes you feel extreme happiness. However, this amazing feeling is often soon gone.

But, what happens if we try and never reach our goals?

We usually get very disappointed and give it all up. We feel like failures. Despite that, you should learn how to take pride in the knowledge that you tried and tried really hard.

Understand that setting goals is a good thing, but don’t base your happiness only on that goal. Take action towards it but make sure your happiness won’t suffer if you fail to achieve it.

“Happy people plan action they don’t plan results” – Dennis Wholey

Give up the expectation of a perfect partner

As we grow up, we start to establish what we consider as an ideal partner. We even fantasize about how the person should walk, what job he should have and, most important of all, what his character is. We immediately reject someone who doesn’t fit our perfect picture.

But, the truth is, there is no perfect person on this planet. We are all born with flaws.

Instead of concentrating on your partner’s flaws, just realize that it may be their characteristic that is showing. People’s characteristics make them who they are and in no way should you ever strive to change that. Trying to change someone else is a sure way to destroy a relationship.

Instead, embrace your partner for who he is. Accept your partner 100% as you would wish to be accepted.

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love“– Tom Robbins

Don’t resist change

Even though change is a vital part of our lives, we still fear it so much. In reality, however, change is actually good. It will help you grow and transform into a better human being. Instead of fearing it, change should be embraced without any resistance.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls’ Joseph Campbell

See Also: Follow Your Bliss

A happy life is not something that falls out of the sky or that we get by being around other people or having a relationship. A happy life is one we create. Use these tips and start cultivating your happy life today.

The post Top 9 Things To Give Up Immediately If You Want To Become Happy appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Every morning feels like the start of another boring day. Each day, you realize how difficult it is to find ways to make yourself happy again.

You get ready, go to work, come home and the boring cycle repeats the next day. Oh, and let’s not forget the daily lines of traffic that make commuting feel like a chore. You just want to escape from it all by curling up under a blanket.

You’re overwhelmed with the crap that you have to deal with every day, and it’s turning you into a miserable person. You constantly find yourself snapping at people.

At work, you feel like you’re just another cog in the wheel. You can’t stand the daily grind, your doofus co-workers and boss who don’t appreciate all the hard work that you do.

And when you come home and turn on the TV, all you see is bad news, bad weather and bad people doing bad things. It all makes you long for the “good old days.”

When you’re living in a funk from day to day, it can be hard to find things to smile about. It’s hard to find some refreshing positivity. But, the truth is, it is up to you. You can wallow in misery, but if you want things to change – if you want to find your smile again – you’re the one who has to make it happen.

Here are some of the ways to make yourself happy.

Thank Your Pillow

Get a boost of delight from thanking objects and what they do for you.

When you wake in the morning, put your hands together like a Buddhist monk, bow your head and say, “Thank you, pillow, for the dreams you have given me.” Try this with your bed, blanket, pj’s and shoes. Do it to as many things as you like.

Play the Bizarro World Version of Yourself

Break out of boring routines by turning small daily habits on their heads. If you normally put your right sock on first, put your left sock on first. When you slip on your underwear, slip into the other leg first. If you want a bit more of a challenge, try brushing your teeth with the opposite hand or putting your knife and fork in opposite hand.

If you find yourself getting frustrated doing the opposite of something, just skip that habit. The point is for you to enjoy, not annoy yourself.

Smack a Smile on Your Face

Leave your worries and boredom at the door. Make every entrance a bright one.

Whenever you’re walking through a door, imagine there’s a smile hanging from the top of the door sill. As you walk through the door, grab that smile and smack it on your face, like you’re putting a cover over your mouth.

Imagine that whatever worries or boring thoughts you may have had just got smile-smacked out of you when you walked through that door.

Help the Cashier

This will make you a shopping celebrity.

Whenever you go shopping, place everything in the shopping cart or on the cashier’s conveyor belt in a way that makes it easy for them to find the bar code.

Make sure you tell them what you’ve done!

That cashier’s face will light up with a smile and you can bet she’ll share the experience with her co-workers. Do this a couple of times with different cashiers and you’ll find that each time you shop, you’ll be greeted with mega-watt smiles. Imagine how good that would feel.

Channel Your Inner DiCaprio

Give yourself a “King of the World” feeling.

This works great when you’re in a high place that is open to the wind blowing on your face. Just like DiCaprio did in Titanic, spread your arms out, take a nice deep breath, and yell out, “I’m King of the World!”

Imagine yourself looking down on a world that you own.

Take a 30-Second U-Turn Back to Happy-Ville

Here’s how to get yourself back to happy-ville when you encounter a silly little drama.

When you get frustrated or upset, take a 30-second pause. For the first five seconds, you acknowledge the bad moment. For the remaining 25 seconds, you let the frustration or irritating feeling go by, imagining that you have arrived at this silly little drama-ville and you see it for what it is. Then you U-turn back to happy-ville.

Just remember, the only person who can put a dent in your happiness is you. You always have the option to return to happiness.

Create a Happy Folder on Your Phone

One of the simplest ways to make yourself happy is to create a special “happy folder” of photos on your phone.

The easiest way to do this is to browse through your photos and move the ones that bring a grin to your face to the happy folder. Don’t forget to add happy, inspiring Facebook photos too.

Now, whenever you feel bored, miserable, or hurt, launch your happy folder and feel the happiness oozing back into you again.

Pat Your Back to Brighten Up Your Feelings

Here’s a quick and easy way to lift your feelings up.

Once you’ve successfully done something, raise your right or left hand, pat yourself on the back, and say something like, “Way to go, (your name)!”

You can do this any time of the day to give yourself a little pick-me-up delight.

Give Yourself a Rocky Balboa Moment

Choose a stairwell at work or at home. Quickly bound up the stairs, one or two steps at a time. Be careful that you don’t trip.

When you reach the top, raise your hands over your head and do a little shuffle dance while that music from Rocky is playing in your head. If no one is around, go ahead and sing it out.

This will give you some feeling-like-a-champ delight.

Give a Surprise That Will Make You Smile

When you’re feeling bored or down, you can perk yourself up by surprising someone who is important to you.

Buy a present or do something special or unique. You can try washing their car, mowing their lawn, or shoveling their snow without telling them. Just do it and imagine the surprise on their face when they see what some kind soul has done for them.

Of course, you can let them know it was you. Either way, you’ll be filled with a whole lot of merry pride.

Give the Stars Your Gratitude

You may have heard the idea of keeping a gratitude journal where you regularly write what you’re grateful for. It works wonders for your mood and makes you a more positive person. And now, you can make it even more fun by trying this gratitude game.

You’ll need a clear night full of bright stars.

Look to one star. Think of something that you’re grateful for. Now make that star the “gratitude star” for that one grateful thought you have. Do this two more times. Think of something else you’re grateful for and give that gratitude to a different star.

Next, for the fun part, on another starry night, challenge yourself to find those same three “gratitude stars.”

See Also: A Little Bit of Gratitude, Everyday!

Now Go Turn Funky Days into Sweet Delight!

Living in the funk is no fun, especially when it feels like there’s no way out. But escape is possible and there are ways to make yourself happy. You just have to take charge of things and actively seek out happiness every day.

Imagine yourself waking up each morning with a smile on your face. Imagine having a day filled with moments of laughter and delight. Think of being at work and actually having some fun again.

The takeaway is that it’s up to YOU to turn each day into sweet delight.

See Also: 5 Happiness Hacks That You Need To Try Today

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We all have had our share of pains, bruises, and bumps. These things are what make life more meaningful and memorable.

For me, things were pretty bad and so out of hand that I wanted to kill myself. However, with time, everything fell back into place and life looked way better than before.

Trust me, attracting pain is usually beyond human control. If we are destined to face the harsher realities of life, no protective measure would come in handy. At the end, it will all depend on the will of an individual and how he or she will use that pain to grow stronger.

There are individuals who give in to the pain and trauma while there are superheroes who use these roadblocks as motivation. They start learning, moving towards a positive direction and growing beyond their limitations.

Today, we will be talking about the approach used by these winners to unleash their stronger side.

Understanding The Will And The Lack Of It

There are two types of individuals: one who breaks down upon experiencing a barrage of hardships and the other who moves on towards a better life despite the pain.

It took me twenty years to get over nephrotic syndrome, an ailment that nearly damaged my kidneys. I witnessed my father’s death. There was my girlfriend who stood by me during the tough days but later on cheated on me with a few other men. All those things happened within a span of two years, leaving me twisted, broken and beyond repair.

However, facing all these wasn’t the difficult part. My father’s absence made me feel lonely and her betrayal made me an insomniac. I was confused as which pain should I lament to and there were no answers.

Just a blank slate with my teardrops on it.

I am not ashamed to admit that I cried and I cried a lot. This actually helped me vent out the anger for her and the gut-wrenching pain and sadness associated with my father’s absence. As a result, my work suffered. I found it hard to concentrate on anything constructive.

I got three huge scars even before I could turn 25. The heart can take only that much but mine kept on asking for newer challenges.

Getting fired from the workplace due to frequent mistakes, getting my right leg fractured, and losing a pet were some of the other roadblocks that sabotaged my growth. There was even a time when I took medicines for depression.

See Also: 15 Symptoms You Are Depressed (Even When You Think You Aren’t)

Fast-forward to 5 years later and at 30, I feel that my life has never been better. I have a beautiful wife, a growing business empire and a lovely daughter. Things do look bright but I wouldn’t be complacent. Then again, this isn’t my story to share. It’s ours.

You can never learn the right way to deal with pain. You must experience it. Therefore, enumerating points wouldn’t make a lot of difference. However, I believe that reading on can help a lot of readers in dealing with emotional pain.

Pain Is Not Everlasting; Glory Is

 

Trust me, the pain isn’t going to last forever, but your inner toughness will. Yes, I admit that certain experiences can haunt us for years but every pain-filled moment has an expiry date.

A Hint of Narcissism

Be self-obsessed. Be in love with yourself. Be a narcissist.

Yes, you won’t find motivational speakers recommend these traits, but they can do you good. The love for your own body and attributes will overshadow the pain which you might be finding hard to deal with.

Keep Changing Things

When in pain, monotony can be the biggest tormentor. This is why you need to hustle down the alley and play a sport, go to the gym or do both. Never allow yourself to be stagnant in situations that haunt you. Become the free-flowing stream which never stagnates or sits at one place.

Cultivate Acceptance

The day you can accept everything that has happened to you, nothing in this world can torment or torture you anymore.

I could only accept the sudden demise of my father 3 years after the incident. I know he had to go someday, but, sadly, it happened when I least expected it.

My girlfriend cheated on me and this was actually harder to accept because of my ego. However, I love myself way too much to spoil my health and sleep over her betrayal.

Pain often brings disappointment and fear with it and we should stand and face these things head on. Running from them can actually make the pain a lot worse but eventually, we’ll be able to go ahead of them.

The Wrap

Believe me, there is no quick fix to killing the pain and the reasons associated with it. You need to live through each and every moment of anguish— all by yourself.

There can be friends and family members to support you, but this fight is all yours and nobody else can join the combat for you. Pain, inflicted upon us by people or circumstances, is a medium to make us stronger.

Have you ever seen how a piece of iron is forged into something unbreakable?

It needs to undergo massive amounts of heat and pressure before it becomes strong. Similar to that, you can imagine yourself as that piece of raw iron that needs to be strengthened with pain.

See Also: Why Pain Is Necessary To Help You Progress

The post Responding To Pain With Positivity: Unleash The Stronger You appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Some people would tell you that in order to break the monotony of your life, you will have to give up on your routine. They say that variety is the opposite of routine and in some ways, that’s true.

But, just like everything in life, you need a healthy balance of both in order to get the most out of them. It’s like yin and yang, good and evil, and black and white. Neither should dominate your existence.

A life without routine can and will get chaotic. Life on its own is already a chaotic mess.

Because of this, we need a sense of direction to keep ourselves from going overboard. Routine is what we use to keep everything organized.

We set an alarm not to purposely disrupt our good night’s sleep, but to make sure we wake up on time. We go to work not because we want to slave our lives away, but because we want to feel fulfilled. Plus, it helps that it gives us money to pay the bills.

Without routine, we could find ourselves lost and unmotivated. Unpleasant as it may seem, it’s actually something we need in order to survive.

Unfortunately, all work and no play will make you a very dull person. You may also find yourself very unhappy.

So, today we are going to discuss four easy ways to inject just a little variety into your life. You don’t have to give up on routine, but you don’t always have to stick with it.

There are a few changes you can make here and there to keep you inspired and keep you going when life is just too boring. Here are some interesting things to do to add spice to your life.

Update Your Wardrobe

It’s time to pass on those hand-me-downs (to the next person, probably).

When we say “update your wardrobe,” that’s just a simple way of saying give yourself an upgrade. You don’t have to be vain just to love yourself.

Sometimes, taking care of your body is the best way to cleanse your mind and calm your spirit. We often feel like we’re dragging ourselves through the mud, and the reason is because we are letting ourselves go. When you’re feeling down for no reason, perhaps it’s time to take a look at yourself and see what’s going on.

Go buy yourself new shoes. Your old ones may have already been worn out. Go to the mall and get yourself new office clothes, casual wear, and even accessories. You don’t need any reason to try and look better.

And while you’re at it, make more changes in yourself. It could be something as small as changing your style or something as big as readjusting your life goals.

Maybe you’re getting so bored with your routine because you no longer believe in the goals you are chasing. It’s okay to switch plans if you are no longer happy. Make small steps toward your new goals, and you will get acquainted with the new rhythm.

Listen to Different Music

Yes, you feel nostalgic when you listen to your old tunes. But, has it occurred to you that you’re getting bored and monotonous because you haven’t introduced a new song to your playlist?

Trust me, one new song can change your mood, especially if you like it a lot.

You can try out a new genre if your old ones aren’t appealing to you anymore. You can delete those songs you always skip if you don’t have enough space on your phone.

Aside from that, you can start introducing other new things into your life. Learn a new skill, play a different game, or try out a new hobby. If you’re feeling pumped up for some change, try something new every week!

See Also: Hack Your Soundscape To Boost Your Productivity

Go visit the neighbors

Here, we don’t just mean your literal neighbors who live across or beside your home. You can visit neighboring countries during your vacation or just visit a neighboring town you’ve never been to. The world is a large place, and there’s always somewhere to go and something to do.

You don’t have to travel every day. You can do it when you have the time and money. Keep in mind that every single adventure is a life-changing experience that can alter your perspective regarding the world around you.

You might even meet new people and friends which can widen your circle!
Don’t limit yourself to your immediate surroundings. And, if this proves a bit too challenging, just go visit your literal neighbors if you think it’s a good idea to do so.

See Also: 10 Wonderful Benefits of Traveling

Push Yourself to the Limit

Sometimes, the best way to confront routine is to push it around, alter it, and show it who’s the boss. You made the routine, you can change it any way you like. If that’s not plausible, you can at least switch things up or make things more challenging.

If your work is boring you, maybe you should try to beat your deadlines by more than a week. If your day-to-day cycle is too much of a drag, mix things up just for the heck of it.

And, if you think things are getting a little too easy, make things more difficult! Your brain loves familiarity, but it hates monotony. Do yourself a favor and live life a little more spontaneously. You don’t need to go overboard with it—just remember the balance of routine and variety.

The post 4 Ways To Inject Some Variety In Your Life – Without Giving Up Your Routine! appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Supposing you found out that there is something you could have done for your children to make their life so much easier and save them years of angst.

How would you feel?

We all want to make sure our kids live a comfortable life as much as possible so we work really hard. We want to make sure they eat on time and that they have nice clothes to wear.

In our hard effort to provide for them, there’s one thing a lot of parents forget to give their kids.

Values.

Little word, but big impact on your life.

Values are the principles and standards of behavior that one feels strongly about. They are different for everyone, but everyone has his own unique set of values. This includes generosity, giving, kindness, compassion, integrity, and honesty.

So, why do I think values are an important thing to teach your kids? Why do I think that knowing values is essential for kids to know?

Well, think about it.

1. Your child will know exactly why they feel good or bad about something someone is doing
2. Your child will know exactly why their or someone else’s behavior made them feel the way it did
3. Your child will be able to work out quickly and easily who to hang out with
4. Your child will be able to work out exactly who to avoid
5. Your child will know what’s important to him
6. Your child will be able to make decisions based on what’s important to him
7. Most of all, your child will be able to live in alignment with what’s important to him

As adults, we spend most of our lives trying to figure out what’s important to us. We try hard to work out why we feel bad or good about something and why people keep letting us down. We are often baffled whenever someone behaves “badly”.

It all comes down to teaching children values.

The Importance of Knowing Your Values

If you know that honesty is important to you, you’ll know why you get so triggered when someone tries to manipulate you. The other person may not see it as manipulation, but it lands that way for you. It gives you a clear vision of what’s happening, why you’re reacting the way you are and why other people are reacting the way they are.

Knowing your values gives you an infinitely better control over your life and an amazing clarity and understanding. As a result, you make fewer mistakes.

Living with your values in mind means that you’re living in alignment with what’s important to you. Therefore, it allows you to be who you really are.

How do you think that’s going to impact you? Do you think you might find life more enjoyable? Easier? Happier?

Ponder for a moment on how much time we all spend with our kids trying to comfort them when they’ve been upset about someone or something they’ve done. Imagine the times we spend trying to explain to them why they shouldn’t have done something or they should have done something else.

Since your child knows their values and understands what their values mean, they’ll need very little of that support from you because they understand why they feel that way. Hence, they’re saved a lot of pain.

As a parent, the effort that you need to put into dealing with things that happen in your child’s life is cut down tremendously. As a result, they become way more independent and way more certain of themselves and life in general.

How To Work Out Your Own Values

Before you can teach your child their values, you’ve got to work out your own! Here’s what to do:

1. Write down a list of all the things that are important to you, like happiness, love, compassion, learning and integrity. You may find that there are things you don’t like that come to mind more easily and that’s okay. Just write them down and think about what they might be going against.

 2. Now, write a list of all the things that you need to have & do that are important to you. It could include financial freedom, engage in team sports, be successful in your career or go on holidays regularly. There are tons of things that can come to your mind so make sure you write everything down.

3. Next, write a list of the things that are important for you to be known for, like being known for always smiling or for keeping your word.

4. Go through each list and whittle everything you’ve written down to one word. Take, for example, the importance of being known for smiling. You can consider that as “love” or “kindness”.

5. Amalgamate all the lists into one big point. Consequently, you’ll find that there are lots of repetitions across the lists. That should be an indicator of how important that thing is to you.

6. Put the items on the list into an order of importance. It probably won’t be that easy so take your time assessing the list.

7. At this point, it’s crucial that you put them in actual order of importance and not the importance you think they ought to be in. I spent years thinking that family had to be at the top of my list because that’s where it would be if I was a good mother.

Don’t do it. Your list will only work for you if you’re being completely honest so don’t judge yourself.

8. Take the top 7-10 things on your list and write them on a new piece of paper. They’re your core values so they are the ones that should mean the most to you.

9. Pin the list up somewhere visible to you and hone it down over the next few days or weeks. Ultimately, things may change subtly and the order may change over time.

You may realize that some of the things you didn’t think were so important are actually crucial. That happens. In fact, it’s an ongoing thing.

10. Finally, do the same thing with your child.

See Also: The Problem of the Perfect Parent

Whenever something happens in your life that causes you to stop and think, assess it from the list of values. Get into the habit of relating what’s happening back to your list of values.

As a result, you’ll find your life becoming smoother because you’ll be making decisions from a point of alignment with what’s important to you.

Imagine how much easier a child’s life would be if they could grow up being able to do that.

See Also: Top 10 Tips to Help Children Develop Useful Habits

The post What You Need To Know About Teaching Children Values appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Different types of people achieve various levels of success. While some seem to be lucky enough to be successful in an instant, there are people who have to work really hard to achieve their desired status in society.

It all comes down to the Hierarchy of Needs, how you approach each tier and how you can make the Law Of Attraction work for you. Once you understand these things, crazy levels of success can be yours!

The Hierarchy of Needs breaks down human nature into these five facets:

1. Physiological Needs

The first requirement for humans is our physiological needs. They are the basic things we need for survival, like oxygen, shelter, and food. Once we meet these needs, we can then move on to seeking the second tier.

2. Security and safety

This tier includes employment, money and being able to proactively provide for yourself and your family. If we fail to achieve the first two needs, we, as humans, can bend our morals and values to obtain them. Take, for example, stealing food so your family can eat.

3. Love and belonging

This level involves love, intimacy, family and friendships.

A lot of us have our physiological and security needs handled most of the time. Once those things are obtained, we’re free to go for the next need in the hierarchy.

4. Self-esteem

This includes gaining confidence, achievement and respect.

This is where gaining recognition for your work and what you do play a big role. This is where you achieve real wealth which you can freely enjoy as you go higher in the hierarchy.

5. Self-actualization

The top part of the hierarchy is self-actualization. This is the full expression of your creativity, where everything you do is an expression of your deeper self.

Before you can reach the top tier, you have to go through the lower levels first. You’re not really going to be worried about self-actualization when you can’t feed yourself.

The hierarchy of needs explains a lot about life.

Today, we live in a world where we can easily find like-minded people who can lift us up and allow us to be who we really are. This has made tier 3 much easier to obtain. No matter where you live, you’ll find other people you feel connected to.

But, culturally, our thoughts and behaviors are still stuck in the past and they won’t make progressing that easy. This is where those bold, driven and extreme people surpass many in their pursuit of their pie-in-the-sky goals.

There’s a hidden system within this structure that, once known, can allow you to transform your life. Once you apply the Law Of Attraction in relation to the Hierarchy Of Needs, you’ll attract circumstances, people, and opportunities that will allow your life to go where you desire.

My tip: Skip tier three, focus directly on those top two levels and let the Law Of Attraction go to work. Once you put this life hack to work, everything else will be easy.

By shifting your attention to the self-esteem and self-actualization levels, you’ll instantly start attracting the people and vehicles that will help you be successful.

Be bold, driven and a bit crazy as you focus on gaining self-esteem and reaching self-actualization.  The rest of the hierarchy will fall into place for you in the most wonderful way. Knowing how to be successful is only a part of the process. You also need to put in a lot of work to reach the top of the hierarchy.

See Also: 4 Things Highly Successful People Do Differently

The post How To Be Successful: The Surprising Tip You Might Not Know About appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Is your workout the odd man out when you plan your day because there just isn’t time? Have your clothes gotten a little tighter as a result?

Great bodies don’t need hours of gym time. In fact, a focused full body workout can be completed in just 30 minutes.

If you want to start making your health a priority, it’s essential that you know the most effective gym workout tips. It can also help if you’re aware of the most common things that can eat away your time in the gym.

Here are some of them:

Social Media

Social media is great for selfies and finding out what people you barely know are up to. However, it’s not good for an effective workout.

Stay off social media while you are in the gym to avoid getting lost in a news feed purgatory. Ten minutes can pass quickly while scrolling Facebook so save the updates for after your workout is done.

Talking

Some people use the gym like a water cooler. Next thing you know, 20 minutes have gone by and you have to rush home to make dinner.

Stay cordial, but save the conversations until you are done. If the person still wants to talk, just be honest with him. Tell him that have to get your workout done and you don’t have a lot of time.

Not Having A Plan

As Alan Lakein said, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.”

Before stepping on the gym floor, you should know what exercises you’ll be doing, in what order and what weight you’ll be using. Doing a short pre-planning can save you a lot of time and a bad workout.

Too Many Warmup Sets

Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

Warming up is a good thing and should be done before you hit the weights. However, a warmup that lasts more than 2-3 sets is just taking time and strength away from your workout.

Get the muscles warm and get right into the workout. This will help you lift heavier weights and increase muscle endurance.

Using The Wrong Weight

Gaining muscle can only happen if you overload them. If you aim for 3 sets of 10 with a certain weight and can perform all 30 reps without breaking a sweat, you used the wrong weight.

Pick a weight where you struggle on the last few reps of the last set. That is the right weight. Using the wrong weight is a waste of time and won’t give you the results you are after.

See Also: 5 Ways To Use The Mind Muscle Connection For Better Workouts

Using Bad Form

Having a bad form will not only put you at risk of injuries, but it can also lighten the impact of the exercise to your target muscle. You should feel the target muscle working and not feel it in your joints or other non-targeted muscles.

The Broken Record Workout

The human body is very adaptive. Doing the same workout month in and month out will lessen the effectiveness of it.

Switch up your workout every 4-6 weeks to avoid this. Simple changes, like going from a barbell to dumbbells, might be all the change you need.

Watching TV

There is no debate that TV is addicting. A quick glance during a rest period can make 5-10 minutes fly by. Resist the temptation and focus on the reason you are at the gym.

Changing At The Gym

The gym locker room is like a black hole. What seems like five minutes in the locker room is actually 20 minutes everywhere else.

If possible, wear your gym clothes to the gym or change at work. The time lost in the locker room could be better spent working out.

Reading

Splitting your attention between using an elliptical and the latest issue of Cosmo is a surefire way to waste time.

The natural tendency is to slow down while reading so you aren’t going to be able to maximize your cardio. Keep your mind on the task at hand and the fat will melt off.

Using Machines

Machines are essential in a workout routine, but avoid using them for the entire session.

Machines allow you to isolate a muscle group. However, they won’t give you the most bang for your buck. Free weights should make up the bulk of your workout. Leave the machines for the end.

See Also: Get To The Grind: Hop on, Hop off Treadmill Sprinting

Endless Cardio

If your goal is to become a hamster, then run your little heart out on the treadmill. If you are planning to lose fat or chow down on that cookie later, opt for a full body workout.

Lifting weights is superior to cardio when it comes to weight loss since it can boost your metabolism for hours after. Channeling your inner hamster does not.

Conclusion

If you can make more hours in the day, then totally ignore these tips. If you are stuck in the same 24 hours we all have, then try applying these to your workouts. You’ll suddenly find that time is no longer an excuse to skip the gym.

The post 12 Ways To Effectively Waste Time At The Gym appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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How much do you know about the quality of the sofa you invested your money in? Did you get what you paid for?

Let’s face it.

There are tons of things you need to consider when you’re buying a piece of furniture. With so many considerations, it’s easy to feel confused, intimidated and frustrated. In the end, we just stick to things that make sense.

Unfortunately, a lot of manufacturers and retailers aren’t really honest about their products. There are things that they choose not to tell their customers. As a result, buyers often pay more than the quality they get.

To steer clear of overpaying for furniture, you need to have the right knowledge and ask the right questions.

Aesthetics aside, the first thing that consumers should consider is comfort.

In general, there are four principal components that can contribute to comfort: frame, spring system, cushion, and tailoring. If all these four passed the standard of quality, comfort would follow.

Here are the things to look for:

Framing and Cushioning

Let’s start with the framing.

If the frame is hardwood, ask if it has undergone kiln-drying. It’s the process of removing the moisture content of timber by using heat and airflow in a controlled environment. Kiln-dried wood lasts longer despite changes in humidity. It keeps wood from buckling, cracking or weakening.

To check the quality of the frame, feel the thickness of the board on the side of the sofa at the bottom. The standard width should be 1 and ¼ inches. Thinner boards will squeak if people move around it.

When it comes to cushioning, the heavier, the better. This is regarding the relationship between weight and quality.

For the spring system, sinuous wires or S-type springs are the standard and should run from front to back. You should be able to feel the spring when you push down on the sofa.

The Tailoring

Checking on how well the fabric of the sofa is tailored is equally important. Check if the seams are even and the piping ( tube-shaped edging ) lines up.

For printed sofas, the patterns should match both on the sides and front. For high-end pieces, the fabric should wrap the entire piece, including the back skirt. Patterns should start from one segment and continue to the next. There should be a seam in the center of the sofa’s back.

Quality of Leather

It is important for the buyer to listen to the salesperson when buying leather pieces. If he says that it’s a leather-match or leather-like, it’s not leather at all. The way to tell the difference is to look at the base of the sofa and see if it is dyed all the way through.

Next, ask if the leather is top grain. Top grain is the highest quality of leather, and furniture pieces made from this material are really expensive.

Non-top grain leather pieces could be split and they don’t wear much. They need to be moisturized and be kept away from the sun.

Drawers and Veneering

Dining sets, bedroom sets, tables, and lounges should be proportional to each other.

For pieces with drawers, check how they are hung. If drawers are tilted, the buyer will have an idea right away about the quality.

To check, take out the top drawer and check if its interior feels rough. Rough drawer interior means low-quality. Furniture pieces with excellent craftsmanship usually have dust panels that stop you from looking onto one drawer from another.

Check also the corner of the drawer and see how the veneers match. Veneer is a decorative covering of fine wood applied on top of a solid material, like plywood.

Good quality drawers are made with binders while cheaper ones are made with rollers. Checking the drawer on the upper left-hand part, where the manufacturer’s name is stamped, can give you a feel of the furniture quality.

Manufacturer’s Warranty

The warranties on wood furniture typically cover cracking and splitting for one year. As for upholstered furniture, warranties generally include the frames. High-end types of furniture, meanwhile, should have five-year warranties on spring systems and cushions.

Consumers should check if they have a manufacturer’s warranty or retailer’s warranty. If it only shows the original address in tiny print at the bottom of the contract, the warranty will be void if they will move.

Takeaway

Consumers should be prudent when it comes to furniture shopping. The bits of advice above will help in finding the best furniture at the best price. So, go out and look for good furniture that you and your family will enjoy for many years to come.

See Also: Top 10 Tips for Buying Stylish Furniture on a Budget

The post 5 Important Things to Check Before Buying Furniture appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Unemployment is tough, especially when you’re stuck in it for several months. Every day, you wake up early, get dressed, make a plan for the day, and hit the job boards only to find yourself falling short of the competition most of the time.

It’s particularly hard to stay positive during this period. Job searches are incredibly stressful. Between worrying about your lack of income, waiting to hear back from several prospects, and submitting your ninth application for the week, you have a lot going on.

A February 2015 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that levels of agreeableness, openness, and conscientiousness decreased over time in unemployed participants. These things can negatively affect the way you feel about your situation.

It’s crucial to maintain a positive outlook and to take care of yourself. You need to manage your stress, stay healthy, and maintain a high level of productivity as these are the things that can help you land a job faster.

Hack Your Mind

The term “mind hacking” is increasingly popular nowadays and for good reasons. Mind hacks are essentially tricks and tips you can use to impact your cognition.

Essentially, they can help you manage your attitude. For example, if you’re frustrated in finding a work in sports, you can choose to let that negativity and hopeless feeling take over or you can reframe your perspective.

See Also: The Secret Mind Hacks That Can Change Your Life Today

Here are a few simple ways to hack your mind as well as the best job search tips worth giving a try.

Start a gratitude journal

Every morning, after you wake up, write down three specific aspects of your life you’re grateful for. They can be as simple as the bagel you’re eating or as meaningful as your loving relationship with your spouse. Happiness is a byproduct of appreciation.

Counting all the awesome things in your life helps you focus on the positives and cultivate a sense of contentment. This is crucial to staying healthy and focused during a job search.

Perform acts of kindness

You don’t have to go build houses with Habitat for Humanity (although you absolutely can) in order to spread joy in the world. Any small act of kindness will do, like buying someone’s coffee or giving a compliment to a stranger.

Write daily affirmations

Choose a negative thought you have about yourself, like “I’m not smart enough to work in sports.” Then, write out the positive opposite of that belief. It could be, “I am capable and ready to work in sports.”

Keep a few of these affirmations on hand, like in a note on your phone. Refer to them and remember them when you find yourself drowning in negative self-talks.

Create a “done list”

This is the anti-to-do list. Writing your accomplishments by the end of your day can help you celebrate all your wins, no matter how small. Plus, you can reflect on it the following morning to start your day off right. They can remind you of your daily successes.

Create a Dream Job

Can’t find what you’re looking for? Create your own opportunity.

Let’s say you want to work in sports, but you’re not finding the right career that suits your unique skills and various passions. Start by defining your career wants.

For example, you want a flexible schedule, creative freedom, and you prefer to work from home. Research your industry, then find out where you can create this opportunity.

You want to combine your photography skills, writing ability, and passion for working with people? Then start a freelance gig where you can create digital albums for athletes.

Share your work on a blog or personal website. This way, potential employers or clients will notice your passion and strengths.

See Also: How to Market Yourself During A Career Search

Seek Out Recreation

No matter how desperate your job search feels like, you still need some “me time.” Focus on two gifts you can give yourself: socialization and physical activity.

These things will help you stay happy and healthy during the stressful periods in your life.

A June 2016 report published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise found that 20 minutes of moderate exercise can enhance motivation for cognitive tasks and increase feelings of energy. It can reduce feelings of confusion, fatigue, and depression, too.

Combine staying active with being social. Join running clubs and try to meet new people while engaging in exercise. These breaks away from job hunting are crucial. They can help you clear your head and feel refreshed when you return to the job boards.

See Also: Top 5 Uncommon Jobs In The US And How To Get Them

If you’re looking for work in sports, planning a major career change, or just passively looking at open jobs, make sure you add some variety to your efforts. This is one of the best job search tips that can bring a positive perspective to the process.

How are you breaking up your tedious job search?

The post 3 Surprising Tips That Will Transform Your Job Search Approach appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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You probably feel guilty, irresponsible, and unproductive when you catch yourself daydreaming during an important task. In the words of Harvard psychologist Matthew Killingsworth and his colleagues: “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”

On the surface, the source of this guilt and despair seems obvious. Daydreaming implies you are procrastinating — and nobody likes to waste time or be off-task. Yet, if you look more deeply at the reasons for this guilt, the scene becomes much more complex.

For example, when our minds wander, we feel freer. As philosopher Søren Kierkegaard pointed out, freedom may seem appealing, but it also causes anxiety. This anxiety makes us feel dizzy as if we are without “gravity” when our minds are adrift.

Psychology researcher Jerome Singer confirmed that this type of guilty daydreaming is no good for us. Yet, as he also pointed out, daydreaming can be spectacularly great — but only if we do it the right way.

Daydreaming The Right Way

In my book, “Tinker, Dabble, Doodle, Try,” I explained in detail how daydreaming can lead to glorious outcomes with a few tweaks.

What you want to aim for is called positive constructive daydreaming (PCD) — also known as “daydreaming that rocks!” These sessions of unfocusing can be spontaneous or planned, and they will ultimately make you feel more self-aware, more creative, and far less bored.

When you engage in PCD, you give your focused attention a break and allow yourself to plan and rehearse what’s to come. In other words, if you allow yourself to constructively daydream, you are likely to realize things about the future that you would miss otherwise.

Let your mind wander on a leash; it will lead you to the jewels of self-awareness and illuminate missing information hidden in your brain. When you find these clues, you can connect the dots of your past and present to construct a more accurate prediction of the future.

How to Engage in PCD

PCD is drastically different from the guilty daydreams you suddenly slip into, like the ones about last night’s shenanigans instead of tomorrow’s big meeting. Here are four steps to help you master daydreaming psychology.

Start by planning

Planning a daydream may sound counterintuitive. Just think of it as taking the time to plan a skydive rather than spontaneously jumping out of an airplane.

When you consciously set aside time to daydream, you avoid the shock and dismay of unexpected mind-wandering.

Turn your attention inward

You spend most of the day engaging the world with your senses, which means the majority of what you learn comes from the outside.

Daydreaming is all about closing the door on perception and turning your attention inward. Closing your eyes may help you get disconnected faster.

At first, it may feel like your mind is simply going on a wild goose chase. But, studies show that this is simply your brain’s planning mechanisms just under the radar. If you find it difficult to turn inward at will, try marking the switch with a relaxing chair tilt or a much-needed walk to the window.

Do something low-key

You may think of daydreaming as total downtime, but a recent study claimed otherwise. Daydreaming actually has the potential to improve your creative ability.

Doing nothing at all or something that takes up too much attention will be less effective, so try knitting, gardening, coloring, or light-hearted doodling while you daydream to get your creative brain charged.

See Also: Top Tips On Training Your Brain To Be Creative

Overcome the vomit response

Social psychologist Jennifer Mueller and her colleagues found that although we laud the attributes of a creative mind, we are actually predisposed to hate our own creativity. This goes particularly true during times of uncertainty.

Our brains, without overt warning, associate the word “creativity” with “vomit” and “agony.” Someone else being creative may feel like music to your ears, but once you start to become creative yourself, the music metaphorically becomes haunting and disturbing.

It’s crucial to acknowledge the fact that creativity will cause your stomach to churn. When you find yourself feeling queasy, recognize why you feel this way and keep on truckin’.

The Lowdown

So, what’s the earth-shattering lowdown here?

• Daydreaming can improve your focus, creativity, and self-awareness. It can also help you envision and prepare for the future.
• Set aside a time in your day to veg out.
• Turn your attention inward by switching off your perceptions. Close your eyes to get a quick start.
• Do something low-key or don’t do anything.
• Beware of your brain’s tendency to resist, and use self-talk to tell it to chill. Sit back, relax, and daydream yourself to success.

See Also: 5 Top Weird Brain Facts

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