How To Be Happy At Work

Are you unhappy with your job, just riding along the career conveyor belt and not sure how to get off? Or, do you think you have the perfect job, but some days just feel like a bit like a slog?

Recent research from career experts Sokanu suggests that the happiest careers tend to be those with a creative angle and a degree of autonomy, while the least happy jobs have little to no freedom for artistic expression. 

Results from the study also show that the place where you work also impacts how much you enjoy your job. For example, Hawaii posts the highest work satisfaction rating while Vermont is way at the bottom.

Unless you’re lucky enough to be in one of the five happiest jobs (film director, athlete, choreographer, DJ, and video game producer) in one of the happiest states for workers (Hawaii, West Virginia, and Maine), we have some top tips on how to make your working days brighter.

Tip 1. Stay positive

stay-positive

It’s easy to start feeling depressed and irritable when deadlines are approaching, work’s piling up and the traffic/weather is terrible — and it tends to be catching. Try smiling through it even if it’s through your teeth at first and see how much more positive people behave around you.

See Also: 6 Ways Happiness Can Help You Be Better At Work 

Tip 2. Get your voice heard

Feeling more empowered and listened to is a great way to boost your confidence at work and to feel more engaged in your job. Ask your boss for more responsibility or volunteer to represent an employee group. Or, simply speak up more at meetings. Even if you don’t feel comfortable doing this at first, getting into the habit of doing so goes a long way.

Tip 3. Don’t overcommit

When there’s a lot of work going on at the office and there’s a lot of competition for promotion, it might seem sensible to take on more work than you can realistically handle within your current hours. However, this can’t be a long-term strategy. You may be setting yourself up for stress, poor work/life balance, or even poor health.

Work smart. Be realistic and take on only what you can handle – but make this work amazing.

Tip 4. Make friends

make-friends-at-work

This might seem obvious, but the more you get familiar with your co-workers, the better. If you’re struggling to see eye-to-eye with your colleagues, make an effort to spend more time with them and organize some social activities. Research shows that solid friendships at work make for being happier in your job.

See Also: 5 Benefits of Making Friends at Work 

Tip 5. Change career

If you’re really struggling to enjoy your job, it might be time to make the change. Don’t be put off if you’re not sure what you want to do, or how to go about it. Start by making a list of 5 things you hate about your current job, 5 things you’d want in your next career, and create an action plan to make it happen! Or, you could use an online career test to help you decide.

Check out our infographic “Discover the Happiest Workers in America”. Where do you fall in the infographic below?

discoversthehappiestworkersinamerica

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Keep Calm and Don’t Stress: Recognizing and Preventing Job Burnout

Working hard, craving for success, achieving more and more – just to realize one day that you are tired and drained of energy, mechanically doing your job and counting hours and minutes until the end of your workday. This is a common scenario for employees in many sectors, but mostly in banking, insurance, and financial services. Job burnout is now ranked a “syndrome” – a medical concept next to melancholia and depression.

Is it as black as it is painted?

work-burnout

Burnout is known by its negative effects on productivity. However, its most severe consequences affect mental, emotional and even physical health. Sebastian Beck from Suddeutsche Zeitung tells a story of a once successful manager, now a patient of a neurological rehabilitation center: after working 60 hours a week for years and even going to the office with his leg broken, he ended up scheduling made-up meetings and fleeing from the office through a balcony. Among physical effects of burnout, atony, hypertension, and gastrointestinal problems are the most frequent ones.

Sebastian Beck from Suddeutsche Zeitung tells a story of a once successful manager, now a patient of a neurological rehabilitation center. After working 60 hours a week for years and even going to the office with his leg broken, he ended up scheduling made-up meetings and fleeing from the office through a balcony. Among physical effects of burnout, atony, hypertension, and gastrointestinal problems are the most frequent ones.

Social effects are an important part as well. Constant stress and fatigue make you easily irritable, and who would blame you for being not nice enough to people if you are totally worn down?

Another reason for cynicism and irritation is depersonalization. It manifests itself in alienation from people with whom you need to interact, and in bitterness towards them. People who experience it report that they feel like they are watching themselves act in a play. They remember what they should do and say, but they just don’t care anymore.

A depression’s noble cousin

A product of high pressure and too much responsibility, burnout is nowadays a valid excuse for low mood, irritability, and short temper. Anna K. Schaffner in her Exhaustion: A History explains how the concept of exhaustion has been changing over centuries.

According to her, today it actually hints at success: if you are exhausted, it means that you are in demand, everyone needs you. So, there’s no shame in being frustrated and apathetic because it is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, exhaustion now tends to be understood as a badge of honor.

While depression is rooted in the mental and emotional state of a person, burnout phenomena are presumably related to constantly high productivity and stressful workplace conditions; something that is typical for hard-working and irreplaceable employees, mostly in management positions. As such, job burnout has become a status thing. “Only losers become depressive. Burnout is a diagnosis for winners, or, more specifically: for former winners” – concludes Sebastian Beck.

See Also: 15 Symptoms You Are Depressed (Even When You Think You Aren’t)

What about me?

burned-out

Burned out or just tired? We often cross this line without noticing it. Sometimes our weariness and apathy are inspired by a common trend to be busy and tired.

So how do you know if your fatigue has turned into something that already requires urgent actions? Take a simple test to understand your degree of exhaustion.

Ignoring it won’t make it go away

As we now see it, job burnout can have serious physical, emotional and social effects, such as lack of energy, decreased productivity, anxiety, sense of futility, and family conflicts. And it will not go away by itself. If you do nothing about it, the consequences will grow like a snowball.

Here are some simple tips to help you avoid the severe burnout effects.

1. Replenish your personal resources.

Take care of yourself. Don’t let your work take too much time of your life.

Good sleeping habits, hobbies, and connecting with people you like helps a lot in preventing and overcoming burnout consequences. Stress-relieving activities and practices, such as yoga, meditation, walking,and listening to music can also help you relax and find your emotional balance.

2. Analyze your current activities and figure out which of them make you feel weary and frustrated.

It is also useful to know how much time you spend on frustrating activities every day. A simple timesheet software can be useful here as it helps you structure your daily activities and calculate the time spent on them.

3. Re-prioritize your tasks and revise your workload. Limit the time you spend on tasks and communications that exhaust you. Consider reducing your working hours. Delegate some tasks to others when possible.

See Also: Suffering From Anxiety? This Is How I Deal With Mine

Hardly any job is worth your health, peace of mind, and emotional stability. If you are not happy with your workload, your duties or work environment, perhaps it is time to pause and take on activities that relieve your stress so that you don’t end up drained of your inner resources.

 

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What Social Over-Achievers Know That The Rest of Us Don’t

Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Some of us feel like melting into the floor the second we walk into a large social gathering. It can be a work function, a friend’s Super Bowl party, or just meeting a group of friends for dinner–doesn’t matter. Large groups make us seize up and devolve into the most socially awkward version of ourselves.

And then, while we’re fumbling to even introduce ourselves to ONE stranger, what do we see out of the corner of our eye? The social over-achiever. You know the one. He or she is always surrounded by a tight circle of fans. They’re throwing their head back laughing, while their entourage leans into the story, clapping and oohing and ahhhhing, and falling off their chairs laughing.

Um, I’ll have whatever she’s having, we think, because we can’t imagine ourselves pulling off the social spotlight that successfully.

The good news? All these feelings are totally naturally. Some of us like people, but we just don’t love them in enormous groups all at once.

Nevertheless, as one piece of evidence that life is indeed not fair, we will still be required to make an appearance at more than one social event in our lifetime. And that’s where this article comes in. Because when we do have to survive a large social gathering, there are things we can do to be less of a giant ball of nerves and more of an…adult person who can enjoy diverse experiences.

Here are 10 tips that will improve your social wizardry skills immediately.

1. Enter the room believing that the experience will be beneficial

It’s fine to acknowledge to yourself that you feel tension, but reframe the night as an opportunity to challenge yourself to grow. After all, research has overwhelmingly shown that relationships are good for our physical and mental well-being.

2. Look interested in meeting other people

meeting-new-people

Here are the cliff notes of what that looks like: Stay off your phone, smile and don’t slouch or cross your arms, and get ready to offer a friendly, confident hello to anyone who makes eye contact or speaks to you.

3. Don’t wait around for someone to initiate conversation with you

Go in with a few versatile small talk topics in mind. Some good starters: Where are they from? Where do they work? How did they end up at the event tonight?

See Also: 10 Ways to Make a Good First Impression 

4. Start by talking to one person

Then, pull a couple others into the conversation. Big groups are less intimidating when you break them into smaller, more manageable conversation groups. If you exhaust one group or are curious to meet additional people, excuse yourself to go and say hello to someone else and begin again.

5. It’s the little things that set you apart

Make sure to get the person’s name and then occasionally use it when talking to them (like say their name three times, as opposed to 30). Then once you’re past the introduction, focus on finding and pointing out some common ground…even if it’s small. Some possibilities: your career field, where you live or grew up, the number or gender of your siblings, the size or makeup of your current family.

6. Ask questions

And then commit to being an above average listener. Tip: Do this by following up with additional questions. You work at Company X? How long have you worked there? (Listen.) What is your role? (Listen.) Do you see yourself there for the long term? (Listen.)

See Also: How To Keep A Conversation Going With 8 Different Topics

7. Be generous

That means being generous with compliments, generous with acts of service (get someone a refill, save them a seat), and even maybe some gifts (a round of appetizers, drinks, or desserts to share, for example).

8. Don’t try to be a Social You–i.e. a pretend, polished version of you

great-listener

When you get nervous, you may be tempted to try to impress people by trying to sound super smart or really funny or by telling some outrageous story. When you feel that urge to put on a show, squash it, and circle back to being Real You–quirks and all. People trust those who share authentically, so go ahead and mention it if you feel uncomfortable in big social scenarios. Or laughingly talk about how you already dropped ketchup on your shirt or drove around for ten minutes looking for the place because you’re so bad with directions. People like and feel comfortable around sincerity.

9. On that last part, show you have some boundaries though

Don’t vulnerably spill the “whole story” about any of these topics the first time you meet someone: your divorce or breakup, medical or psychological issues, long term grudges or personality conflicts, your miserableness at work.

10. Set realistic expectations that allow you to be resilient

Don’t go into large group gatherings expecting to walk out with five new best friends. Best friends are usually forged over smaller gatherings. Large social scenes are just a chance to have some positive interactions and maybe meet someone you could hang out with in the future. If someone’s verbal or non-verbal signals suggest they aren’t interested, then, prep yourself not to take it personally, and move on to someone else. They might not be in the mood to talk, but one person of many shouldn’t shut you down for the night.

Finally, just like you couldn’t read an article on how to throw a javelin and immediately go out and compete in the Olympics, you can’t read an article on socializing and be an instant social wizard. Start small. Have one good conversation. Do one thing outside of your comfort zone. And the next time you go out, try again. Practice will turn these suggestions from “tips” into habits if you give them a chance.

 

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The Courage To Say No

The courage to say no comes from an understanding of your own boundaries and the fact that saying no actually saves you from personal or professional harm. It is better to say no than to say yes and be crushed under the stress of possibly producing a poor product or disappointing the requestor.

When we say ‘yes’ instead of ‘no,’ it’s because we’re afraid of disappointing someone, or we think it will affect how we are looked at as an employee or friend. A YES in that situation isn’t a sincere ‘yes.’ It’s not an honest ‘yes.’ It’s a YES out of fear. So a NO that is coming from healthy boundaries is better in the short and long run than a yes that is fear driven. It takes courage to say NO.

We can keep from saying yes when we mean no. Take a breath. Give yourself a minute to think and say to the person, “I need to think about that for a moment,” or “I need to see whether it’s possible. I need to check my calendar.” Being an automatic YES without any intervening thought trains everyone in your circle to request things of you because you always say YES. Be honest with yourself in order for the requester to lessen requests over time.

I learned how to say NO when I got breast cancer. Being a “do-er” and a people pleaser for 55 years had me at an automatic “YES”.

Once I was in Chemo and Radiation, I had to say NO because I didn’t have the energy. It came as a surprise to me that the people closest to me, whether personally or professionally, didn’t have an issue with me saying ‘no.’ I was so in my head about disappointing others than I was really in fear of what NO would mean in terms of my relationships.

When to Say No

how-to-say-no

In our culture, it is the norm to give an immediate answer to a request. Because of that, we sometimes don’t think or take into consideration our own needs and boundaries. Having a sentence or a particular body language that allows you to think before you speak is probably the most important first step in the process. Having had that time to think, your explanation will come from a point of sincerity which always lands much better in the requestor’s mind and heart.

A few good sentences to use if the unexpected request needs you to quickly answer are: 1) “I’m sorry, I’ll have to check a few things before I can give you an answer,” or 2) “I’m not sure if a can do that. Can I get back to you?

Both of these allow you to defer a definitive ‘no’ while you prepare your reason. Respect dictates you get back to the person who asked, but at least you will have an answer with which you feel comfortable.

How to say no

The depth and kind of relationship you have with the requestor affects the way in which you say no. At work, take into consideration whether the person is above you, equal to, or below you in the work hierarchy. In a personal situation, take into consideration whether they are family, friend, or acquaintance. In a social situation, think of how will it affect building a relationship or expanding your network.

When people request something of you, if the ‘no’ comes off as a personal rejection, the requestor feels disrespected, angry or hurt. So it is how you couch the ‘no’ that counts. Give yourself a moment to strategize your response. Here is a three-part strategy to use.

1) Thank them for asking you: “I’m flattered, I’m glad you thought of me.”
2) Choose a ‘no appropriate to the situation and relationship
3) Give them an option if you can

What you are trying to do is let the requestor know that you’re flattered but at this point, you cannot do what they are asking and you are giving them an option.

At Work

say no

“Thanks for asking me, but I have so much on my plate, I cannot take on anything else at this time”

“I’m flattered by your request, but I have projects with imminent deadlines I need to attend to.”

“Thanks for the offer, but as I am busy, perhaps John could help you, as he has the skills you need.”

“I’m flattered that you thought of me for this _____. However, my plate is full and cannot take on anything else unless you want to change the priorities of my current projects.”

“I appreciate being asked, but given my current workload, the quality of our product would suffer if I took this on right now.”

“I appreciate your confidence in my abilities. However, as you know my current workload makes taking this on not feasible, especially if you need a quick turn around.”

Personal

In your personal life, the framing of the reason for the ‘No’ has to do with boundaries, honesty, respect and possible alternatives.

“Thanks for the offer, but as I am busy, perhaps John could help you.”

“What an interesting request, but I would not be comfortable doing this.”

“This sound interesting. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to be of help.”

“I would love to accept, but I made plans for that date/time three weeks ago.”

“It’s an awesome opportunity, but I won’t have the bandwidth to do it for quite a while.”

Being comfortable in this area is a matter of practice. There are a number of strategies you can use to become comfortable.

1. Start by saying NO in your daily life in the smaller less significant situations to
gain the muscle of saying no.
2. Observe how people you respect say no. Model what you say using their style.
3. Practice saying no to people you feel comfortable with.
4. Every time you say ‘no’ successfully, celebrate the win.

Is honesty always the best policy?

Sometimes when the relationship is much more important than the specific situation at hand, it may be much more advisable to tell a “white” lie. A white lie told to protect someone’s feelings tends to be good for the relationship.

For example, your Aunt Chloe is a non-stop talker and she has asked you to go on a cruise with her. Although you never get seasick, your response “Aunt Chloe, thanks for the invitation to go on a cruise with you, but I get seasick so easily and nothing helps. Perhaps Aunt Jo would be a good choice,” saves your relationship and your sanity. There is no need to hurt or strain an important relationship as a result of how you say no.

There have been times where I have been invited to an afternoon social outing where I won’t know 90% of the people there. Although the person requesting would like for me to be there, I know that spending three hours in an uncomfortable situation will not fulfill her needs or mine. Even though I have no plans, a simple “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have plans that make it impossible to join you.”

See Also: Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Is there a Gender Difference?

Perhaps men are more direct, and women more sensitive in how they say no, but the reality is that men and woman find it equally distressing having to say ‘no’ when they know that they may be disappointing someone.

Lastly, it is well within your right to just say ‘No’ with no reason why. A simple, “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” may be preferable, especially in situations where the request is time sensitive.

See Also: Saying No As Much As Yes To Enjoy Life More

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6 Easy Habits To Make Your Life Simpler And More Enriching

In our quest for finding effective self help remedies, we come across thousands of articles depicting simple and easy solutions for daily care, but I feel there aren’t enough that extract the emotional explanation of why we do these things. I’ve written this article here to help consider more deeply a few comfort activities that we like to do, but explaining why they are so fundamental to our self help and growth. Behind the simple titles here we have strong reasoning and evaluation. I hope you enjoy reading the behind the scenes depth of what could be some very simple habits to make your life feel simpler and more enriching.

simpler_life1. Pack your lunch for tomorrow

The title is misleading because what I am trying to say is representing many things in daily life. Packing your lunch for tomorrow represents a lifestyle – the lifestyle to think ahead, to enjoy planning, to be prepared – fail to plan, plan to fail. It’s a great way to start a planning lifestyle – after all, who doesn’t like food? Start by packing your lunch for today. If you can get up a couple minutes early to get your lunch ready (and avert eating at the food court), then you’re on the right track. Then, cook ahead. Make meals for two days, buy some cheap tupperware, and pack your lunch for the next day, and the one after.

Habits like this configure your brain to usurp our early reptilian brain and let us abstract towards forward thinking patterns. When you think about tomorrow and plan your lunch you are considering your eating habits, your diet, your health; you are anticipating the weather tomorrow, your plans, etc. Everything becomes a bit more streamlined and give you the upper advantage socially and emotionally. Look forward to tomorrow – pack a lunch.

2. Turn off your wifi for one hour every day

Thank God for the internet, for it gives us so much; it makes news readily available, financial information, brings us closer to our family by letting us communicate with them at any time, assists world health services…the list is endless really! We are gifted to be living in such a technologically advanced time of the world, and it’s important not to take that for granted. After all, only eighty some years ago we didn’t have air conditioning, good phones, available flight…etc!

But as much as we should embrace our gratuitous technology, we need to object to it every now and then. We need to unplug our brain from constantly waiting to hear a notification sound or feel a vibration in our pocket. We go through the day anticipating our next reply or email, and it puts stress on our mind; it doesn’t let us fully be ourselves.

Use an opportunity every day to turn it all off and just enjoy the stillness or motion of life. Start with 20 minutes or more and go up to how you feel. You don’t have to prove yourself to everybody – just try it and see how it feels.

3. Act on your feelings

Every time you do not follow your gut instinct, you are deterring yourself from your true path. You are making a decision that is guided by other opinions, articles, excuses or filler – and you know the feeling. You know the feeling of that moment after, when you think, oh, I should have done this instead, or, ah, I should have trusted myself. You are faced with a few more moments of all the following emotions of regret, denial or mistrust as you go through this new path, and learn to deal with the consequences.

Sometimes following your gut instinct, your emotions, is very difficult. There is no rule book to life and you never know if you are making the right decision, or the best decision for you or anyone else. You just have to practice and see. Never be afraid to trust yourself and accept the consequences. You should trust your opinion and be confident in it. It is your life. Enjoy your emotions.

4. What are you grateful for?

There’s a ton of articles anywhere online that talk about writing down what you are grateful for. If you haven’t started a gratitude list, it’s never too late to start. But it goes much more than that, I think.

You can write down everything but what you must do is truly feel it throughout the day. You can be grateful for a hundred things throughout every day, or more, and there is such rare time to think about it all. It should be no problem then, to spend a few seconds everyday to recount your gratitude and feel it. A few seconds at the mirror in the bathroom, a few seconds in the car. Make it a daily ritual throughout the day, and live through it.

5. Read a small book

The world of literature has adapted to our seemingly decreasing attention span. Writers are producing pieces that are easy to read and get the point across quickly. Put down the kindle or smartphone and feel the power of paper though your fingertips. If you can spend a few minutes each day reading some valuable anecdotes through a couple of pages, you will be better for it than not. Book stores are still open for a reason – literature is powerful and the history of it is immense. Pick through the local popular options in self help, comedy, or anything you like, and learn more about the world and how you see it.

6. Call your best friend

In a world thick of texting, the fantasy of rolling around in bed laughing on the phone with your best friend is something of an era past. It’s not though. Try to make a motion with your friends to pick a sporadic time to dedicate to calling each other and have a good laugh on the phone – surely it will feel like some kind of new experience! Remember when we used to stay up all night chatting with our friends in high school? Gossip like old times and don’t worry about talking for too long. It’s a soul enriching experience.

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How to Choose a Web Host for Your Website

Choosing the right web hosting provider can be an uphill task if you don’t know how to go about it. With all the providers promising great things, you may end up with something you did not plan for. We have crucial things to consider when choosing a hosting provider that will help you cut through all the jargon and make a wise decision.

Consider your needs

website-assessment

Do a comprehensive audit of your website to determine its specific needs. The audit should produce a complete and honest outlook of what you want the website to do.

If you are planning to include rich contents such as videos and high-definition images, go for a web hosting option that allows such features to run smoothly. In this case, you will have to consider an expensive option because cheaper versions do not have adequate RAMs, processors, and memory to accommodate such contents.

If you have a tight budget, consider the cheaper option only after you confirm that it has the features that can help your site function optimally.

Evaluate the kind of support the provider has

The type of support provided is one of the most critical factors to consider when determining which web hosting is best. Determine what happens when the site goes down unexpectedly.

Does the company have a clear procedure to help you deal with the situation? Do they have a real person to attend to your calls in case of a problem?

Also, determine whether the company has the right expertise to fix the problems. Look online to determine what other people say about them. Scroll through their site to determine the type of communication channels available. A good hosting provider must have at least a phone number or an email address on its website.

The Price

When it comes to how to choose a web host, the price plays a role. However, the price can mislead you because cheaper options do not have the right features for a website. Hence, the price should not be a deciding factor.

Most things a website needs come at a price. If you want the highest quality, you must part with a lot of money. You must first determine what you want for the website then identify several providers that offer those things. Make a short list of the providers and compare their prices. It is only this way that you will get a cheaper option with all the features you want.

See Also: How to get a Free Website and Domain Name 

Don’t forget about the future

website-future

The future should be on the list of tips on how to pick a web host. This is because web design is dynamic. Things come and go each day, and you don’t want to be left out of the fun just because you chose a rigid web hosting option. A good web hosting platform should allow a room for growth and meet your needs two or five years later.

A good company should have a VPS solution that allows you to adopt the emerging trends. But what is VPS? VPS is an acronym for Virtual Private Server. It allows users to host web pages at their convenience without any interference from the hosting company. The owner of the VPS server can customize it to suit his or her specific needs. VPS servers are not expensive like some people think. You can always get a cheap VPS server from web hosting service providers.

Look at the provider’s service portfolio

You need to consider the service portfolio of the hosting provider because different web hosting options offer varying solutions to customers. For instance, some offer great web hosting plans but don’t have features that can help e-commerce websites grow. Others offer good solutions to enterprises but don’t provide a suitable environment for small businesses. Determine the scope of service of the company you are about to choose. This is the right way to cater for your web hosting needs. Look at the website of the provider and online reviews to determine what they offer and their specialties.

See Also: The 5 Internet Marketing Trends That Will Dominate in 2017

 

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How To Get a Promotion Without Working Yourself To The Bone

How’s it going at work? Undervalued? Overworked? Frustrated? Feeling invisible?

You’re not alone. Generations of schoolchildren have been taught to knuckle down and work hard. They’ve had facts and figures pummelled into their still-pliable brains. And they’ve left college hopelessly unprepared to succeed.

Not that there’s anything wrong with working hard. You’re going to have to work hard if you want to climb that ladder. But many of today’s hardest-working, most frustrated employees can put their failure to get promoted down to one of two simple causes:

  1. They’re doing such a good job where they are, that management doesn’t want to move them.
  2. Nobody knows they’re there.

Or to put it another way: P.I.E.

What is PIE?

Performance. Image. Exposure.

PIE was first conceptualized by Harvey Coleman, a top management consultant who was tired of seeing wasted potential. If you recognized yourself in the above descriptions, it’s because the balance of your PIE is all out of whack. While you’re not going to get very far without a pretty strong Performance, too many underachievers are combining top-notch performance with a bad image and zero exposure.

In fact, Coleman reckons that Performance only accounts for 10% of what gets you promoted.

If you want to move up in your place of work, you need to remedy that.

If you want to be considered worthy of promotion, you need to maintain an Image that is suitable not for your current role, but for the job you’re trying to get.

And once you become the kind of person that deserves that promotion – you need to make sure that people know about it. That’s what we call Exposure, and it’s the biggest slice of the PIE.

Fixing your image

fixing-image

Don’t be mistaken: your image is not superficial. Fake your interest in your organisation and you’ll get found out. Pretend to be the employee they want to be promote, and even if you make it, you’ll soon find yourself out of your depth.

A great way to figure out what this image needs to be, is to take a look at the last person promoted to the job you want. This person had the image your boss wanted. And they got the promotion because that image rang true.

Say for a moment we were talking about physical image. If you copied that guy’s haircut, you’d probably look pretty stupid, right? But if you figured out how he chose that style and why it works, you could find the best cut for you.

Same goes for your professional image. Don’t ape the results – ape the techniques. See what areas this guy studied. Study them yourself. Ask him what courses he took to prepare him for his role. Figure out what his boss values in him – and why.

This is how you can get a deeper understanding of how your company works.

You’ll do your own research, too. Find out what the organization’s core values are. What is most profitable for them. And what the long-term goals are. But that guy who got promoted last time around is a pretty good place to start.

The next level

You’ve identified the version of You that you need to be to get that promotion. Now it’s time to put it into action.

You have some idea what your boss values. So put yourself in his shoes whenever you’re at work. What can you do best to promote the success of the company? What kind of guy should he be promoting if he wants to achieve those goals?

Look at your workload. Without neglecting the essential stuff, think about prioritizing the work that is most aligned with the role you want to attain. Make sure to tick off at least one such accomplishment as soon as possible each day.

Attend those courses, and meet people there. This isn’t a secret campaign. Your image should include the fact that you’re a team player – show you understand that your own success and that of the company are intertwined.

This ‘people person’ stuff is the bridge between your image, and that third slice of the pie – your exposure.

See Also: Avoid These 5 Habits at Workplace To Get A Promotion 

The biggest piece of the PIE

It’s time to slow down. You’re good at what you do, and now you’ve become the kind of person with potential to take on the next big role. But has anybody noticed?

Getting that exposure is not something to rush. Shout about every achievement you’ve made, and you’ll come across boastful and self-centred. Follow the boss into the lift every time he leaves his desk, and you’ll look sycophantic and needy.

Let your actions speak for you. Instead of boasting to your boss, ask him for feedback. Accept it. Let him see that you want to grow into the promotion that you seek – not that you think it’s rightfully yours.

Network with everybody. Nothing is more transparent than a guy who only talks to people he thinks can do something for him. Remember, part of your image is as the company man who wants the business to excel. That means taking an interest in the welfare of everyone that makes up that company.

And a word about your rivals: if they beat you to the post, they’ll be part of the decision-making process next time a promotion comes up. Will they remember you as someone who wouldn’t give them the time of day, or as that fellow who helped them on an area they were weak on even though you were both up for the job?

The trick is: don’t be tricky

working-overtime

These are solid techniques for building your reputation at work ahead of a big promotion opportunity. They’re also a lot more interesting to pursue, than putting in extra hours at home every weekend and hoping someone will notice.

And if some of this seems cynical, it’s not. Adopt these ideas as your daily habits, and this will soon be the genuine you. Someone who knows your business, knows your team, and knows what it takes to succeed.

Work as smart as you work hard, and you stand a much better chance of getting there.

See Also: 5 Tips On How To Negotiate Your Salary 

 

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5 Reasons You Are Scared of Commitment

There are a lot of ways to live our life and we only have one chance to do it. Some people get married when they are young, some when they are old, some never; some have kids, some remain kids all their life. The best part about it all is that there is no one right way to live or another.
At any age, we are always pressed with relationship options, whether they be to seek monogamy, polygamy, marriage, or friendship. We experiment during our youth and become more down to earth as we get older and mature. In some habits, some of us might develop a fear of commitment. Maybe we don’t feel good at it, or know enough about it. Maybe we haven’t had enough opportunities to grow committed habits or relationships, and we are afraid to start. The point is, we should never be afraid to try anything new, and no matter what happens, we will always both succeed and make mistakes no matter what we do. The challenge is enjoy the changes in our life and do whatever makes you happy.
Are you scared of commitment? Take a look and try to overcome these obstacles in your love life.

unhealthy_relationship1. You spend too much time looking for the “right one”

If you chase a butterfly through the field, it will run away. But if you wait for it, it will land right on your shoulder.

Romance is in the air. Or at least you think it is. As the saying above goes, sometimes if you spend too much time chasing and looking for something you want, you will never get it. Sometimes you just have to sit and be patient and wait for what you want to come to you.

Relationships and dating just isn’t what it used to be anymore. We are surrounded by dramatic stories of love and hang on to this idea, when really all we need is not “the one,” but just someone amicable that we can enjoy spending time with and see things on the same wavelength. People who are “the one” together are usually those who have been together since childhood – they’ve had every experience together and cannot live apart. If you are still looking for love into your middle age, it’s time not to look for the one, but to just wait for someone who you can enjoy the rest of your life together with, without the drama or attachment of immense love. Look for respect, honesty, and friendship.

2. Bad experiences in past relationships

Our past relationships bear a heavy burden on our lives a lot of the time, but we always try to find peace with it. We need to leave it in the past and think forward. I have seen many people either give up dating, or distance themselves from others for a long time because of a bad past relationship. But it’s important to remember that everybody is different, and a bad experience with one person is not a reflection of people as a whole. You have to put it behind you and embrace new people; learn from your experiences and choose new partners with an open, secure mind. Do not distance yourself because you have been hurt – recover with strength and look forward to starting over again. After all, you’ve done it before.

3. Bad relationship with your parents

Not all of us come from perfect nuclear families; some of us come from humble homes, broken families, or other interesting situations. It’s no reason to upset your frame of mind or use it as an excuse as to why you cannot maintain a relationship or have a family yourself. That you don’t know anything about it is also not an excuse. It is never too late to learn how to be yourself or grow your own relationship or family. We learn from our surroundings and ourselves; take what you know from your loving family and extrapolate it into your own life – it’s your life, not theirs.

4. You have too many options…or not enough

If you have been living in a big city or other metropolitan area and are young and active, monogamy might not be the problem, but polygamy might. It is indeed tempting and beneficial to meet as many people as possible – share new experiences, learn from with, learn with them, and learn lessons. But it’s no excuse to be afraid of commitment; you must learn how to follow your feelings and trust your gut when it comes to serial dating versus settling down. It feels great to enjoy the attention of many people and also becomes more complicated when drama exists. Enjoy it all while you can, and learn how to shift gears when it is the right time.

Conversely, if you’re living in a lightly populated area, the lack of choice might be a bother to you. It’s possible you know every person in your town already, and the lack of scope can be suffocating. You need to meet new people, but you can’t!
Despite those conditions, try not to limit your perspective. Your town may be small, but the world is huge. Connect with others online or make trips into the city to broaden your social network and meet others. There are millions of people out there.

5. “Friends with benefits”

Not all of us have had a lot of experience with long relationships. It could be that we travel for work, spent most of our time in school, or simply work too much to be able to grow a long lasting bond. If we are socially active, it’s easy then to just develop a pattern of seeing many people and not be able to get past that. Eventually it feels like that is the only way we can live our life and consequently we get programmed into thinking that we are a certain way. The truth is, we’re not, and habits change. We are whoever we want to be, whenever we want to be. As we get older, people might wonder why we have not had many long relationships. There is no shame in the truth, and no right way to live your life. Don’t feel ashamed to tell anyone the truth about why your life is the way it is, or sugar coat anything around it. Be you, always, and as much as you can be.

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7 Ways to Save Money while Earning a College Degree

Is the high cost of tuition and expenses keeping you from that college degree you want? All you need to do is to earn and save money while in college.

It’s no secret that the cost of higher education keeps climbing at a staggering rate as each year passes. It’s now routine for many to graduate with six figures in student loan debt. This is money that must be repaid since bankruptcy law currently makes it extremely difficult to discharge student loans.

Good news: You don’t have to face a mountain of student loan debt when you graduate.

There are several things you can do to dramatically lower your college expenses. You could save a bundle by implementing just one of these simple strategies, or you can really save big by using several of them simultaneously.

Use Challenge Exams in Place of Lower Level Courses

challenge-exams

Most of the courses you take in the first two years of college are essentially a repeat of many of the courses you took in high school. So why do you have to take them again to earn college credit?

You don’t. It’s possible to earn college credit on many common subjects by taking and passing multiple-choice challenge exams.

There are three different types of exams you can use for this purpose: AP, CLEP, and DSST. Most schools will accept up to 30 credit hours of challenge exam credit, while some will accept up to 60. Exam study guides are available to help you prepare.

All three types of challenge exams are available for under $100 each and are routinely accepted by nearly 2,000 colleges and universities in the United States. Most challenge exams are worth three credits each, but some are worth up to six, making it an amazing deal.

See Also: 6 Low Paying College Degrees to Avoid 

Rent Textbooks Instead of Buying

College textbooks often cost hundreds of dollars each, and your total book expense each semester can easily top $1,000. Did you know you can rent textbooks instead of buying them for just a fraction of the cost?

There are now several online companies that rent college textbooks. Finding them is easy. Just do an internet search for “textbook rental.”

How do you know you are renting the right textbook for a course? You may have to contact your instructor to find out for sure. The information you will need includes the book title, author, edition, and a special identification number known as the ISBN.

Use Affordable Community College Credit

Community colleges represent one of the best deals in all of higher education. And if you qualify for the PELL Grant, you can even attend a community college for free.

Many community colleges have agreements with four-year schools that guarantee all of your credits will transfer. Why pay much more for the same courses at a four-year school when you can get them at a discount at a community college?

Take Advantage of Dual Enrollment Credit

There are many high schools across the nation that have made agreements with local community colleges to award college credit for the completion of select high school courses. These arrangements are known as dual enrollment and represent an amazing way to earn a lot of college credit before you even graduate high school. As affordable as community college credit is, tuition is often discounted substantially for high school students.

Attend an In-State School

in-state-school

Colleges and universities usually charge one rate for students living in-state and a much higher rate for students living out-of-state. There’s actually a good reason for this financial disparity. Schools are heavily subsidized by the taxpayers of each state. Naturally, they don’t want their tax money subsidizing students who live across state lines.

You can save big on tuition and other expenses by attending a school that is located in the state you live in. But if you absolutely have your heart set on attending a school in another state…

Take a Gap Year to Establish Residency in Another State

If you do plan on attending a school in another state, why not take a gap year in order to establish residency in that state before enrolling? You only have to live in a state for one year to qualify for in-state tuition.

It’s only one year.

You could work a job during this time, take some inexpensive online courses from a community college in your home state, or even take a few inexpensive challenge exams for college credit. There’s no reason why you can’t be productive in a gap year.

Work Full-Time for a School in Exchange for Tuition

Although schools usually don’t advertise it, many have policies that allow full-time employees to take classes either for free or at a deep discount. It’s definitely worth checking with a school you are interested in to see what their policy is on employee tuition before enrolling.

One way you can take advantage of this is to work full-time at a school that offers free employee tuition that also offers online degree programs. You can then take online classes during your spare time and graduate either for free or owing very little. It usually doesn’t matter what type of work you do to qualify, as long as you are a full-time employee of the school you are attending.

Combine Strategies for Maximum Savings

To really save big on college expenses, you can easily combine two or more of these strategies. You could, for example, use challenge exam credit for your first year and community college credit for your second. This allows you to complete the first half of a bachelor’s degree for very little money.

See Also: How a 529 Plan Can Help You Save for Your College Education

Earning a college degree doesn’t have to be an expensive undertaking. By taking advantage of some simple strategies, you can graduate owing much less than your peers. All it takes is a little planning to make it happen.

 

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7 Habits of Highly Resilient People

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
~Nelson Mandela~

Success is seldom a straight road; it almost always involves many detours and dead ends.  It takes tenacity and determination to keep going, but those that do will eventually reach their destination.  For example, Thomas Edison failed over 1000 times but continued on despite being ridiculed by the media and those around him. What is it about those that refuse to quit long after most would have given up that makes them different?  There are a number of attributes that consistently stand out amongst those who tenaciously follow their own path in life.

keep_going_road_motivationHave a highly developed sense of self

People who are able to develop a strong sense of who they are and what matters to them are much better able to resist external influences that will keep many people from reaching their potential. They are able to draw strength from within and therefore less likely to be influenced by what others think of them.  This strong inner strength helps them deflect criticism, alienation, ridicule and other factors that everyone who forges their own path, inevitably faces. While they do make strong connections with others they have powerful internal filters that allows them to block out and ignore information they don’t find useful or of benefit to them. They are internally driven and believe that they are the best person to know and decide what is best for them.

Look for a positive take away from every situation

When things don’t go according to plan, resilient people look for the learning in the situation and the lesson they can take away.  They don’t view failure as final, rather a necessary learning step that will take them further along the path.  Instead of taking setbacks personally, they are seen as an inevitable part of the learning process and mentally prepare themselves to deal with them. Resilient people do not lose the lesson when they fail to achieve their objectives. They are mentally prepared for setbacks and expect the goals that they set will require a lot of time effort and therefore lose little enthusiasm or confidence when things don’t go according to plan.

Take a long term view

Resilient people are prepared for the long haul, fully realizing that anything worth achieving will be difficult and will take a great deal of time, effort and persistence.  Despite not seeing any immediate results of their efforts, they are keenly aware that what their lives will look like in the future will be determined by their efforts today.  Their strong sense of the future motivates them to take action even when they see no immediate benefit and don’t feel very motivated in the moment.

Have highly developed sense of purpose

Whether it is a belief in a higher power, a strong sense of purpose, or a great sense of humor, resilient people have sources of strength they can rely on to get them through difficult situations.  This decreases their sense to belong and rely upon others for motivation. They see their lives beyond the everyday routine and strongly feel the need to follow their own vision. Their motivation is intrinsic and they cannot be easily dissuaded from their chosen path by others.

Don’t get frightened by uncomfortable thoughts or not having the answers

Most people believe that not knowing how to do something and not being able to, are one and the same thing.  Highly resilient people don’t let not knowing how to do something stop them. They believe that they will find a way. They have faith in their ability to overcome whatever obstacles are in their path.  Expecting to find new situations uncomfortable and difficult, they are willing to accept this as part of the process.

Selective in whom they look to for guidance and inspiration

Highly resilient people don’t suffer fools.  It’s not that they never look to others for guidance and direction, it’s that they are very selective in who they chose to follow. They look for mentorship in people who have achieved greatly and whom they admire.  Once they have found the people they chose to follow, they soak up all the information, guidance and inspiration they can by reading their books and listening to their spoken messages for insight.

Find healthy ways to recharge and nurture themselves

Resilient people are no less susceptible to pressures and life’s stressors than anyone else, but they have developed healthy coping mechanisms they know can be counted on.  Whether it is meditation, exercise or an all-encompassing hobby, they have proven methods that allow them to recharge their energy and get back into pursuing their passion.  Personal growth and development for them is not a passing interest or flavor of the month, it is a way of life.

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