Baggage, baggage, baggage! We all have so much stuff! – emotionally, physically, spiritually. Some days we feel like we’re walking around with a hundred pounds of the world on our shoulders and it’s hard to move at all. We are dragged down by past memories, current issues and future struggles. We’re tied down by rent payments, mortgages, and impulsive shopping habits. At the end of the day, what can we do with all this stuff?

In this article, let’s try to tackle it all at the same time, because many of the principles applied to physical baggage and emotional baggage can often cross together in the ways we as human share and work with each other.

1. Hoarding personal memorabilia

Let’s face it, we all have a problem with letting things go. Ever try to clean out a messy closet? Why does it take so long? You start with one box and find some old pictures. It takes 30 minutes to look at them, check the back, take digital pictures of them so you can show your aunt her old haircut from 1995, etc. Wow, what a trip down memory lane! It goes on for every box. You find old movies, journals, clothes. Nostalgia is a powerful emotion that we love to cherish when it creeps up, and we have no intentions of letting those feelings go when we have them.

This is why it’s so hard for us to let things go. We love comfort. We love the comforting feeling of looking at things that give us such great emotions of youth or of times past where we didn’t have the present issues to worry about. This is the root of hoarding.

There’s an easy solution too. If you can admit that you are suffering from a bit of hoarding, but don’t want to part with your belongings, the solution is simple – disperse. Call your friends and family who are also a part of your memories and donate the memorabilia to them. They’ll get a kick out of it too, and you won’t have so much stuff taking up precious closet space!

2. Hoarding old things

The same goes with your old belongings that don’t have the same emotional accessory. How about your old clothes, cooking wares, decorations and furniture. Dare I invite you to go look in you or your parent’s garage? There might be tons of stuff there that’s still good but has simply been replaced.

You would be very surprised how easy it is to donate all of your old stuff. This summer I got rid of almost 10 bags of clothes alone. Ask your friends or search on Google for a local pick up service that will pick up your stuff for you. There you go. No running around, no carrying heavy objects. The local Salvation Army or similar association undoubtedly has a pickup service in your neighbourhood. It’s as easy as giving them a call and scheduling a pick up time. There are those less fortunate who are in need of your old clothes. Don’t waste a second, especially if it’s in the winter. Do your part.

3. Help others

We’ve all been through the worst – breakups, financial deprivation, loss. Life isn’t always easy, but we learn how to deal with it! If you’ve been through some emotional situations, you know hard it is and hopefully you also know how to recover from it. You’re a warrior! You know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

However, not everyone does. For the young people around you, a serious breakup could be their first experience with a failed relationship, and the effects are tolling. We all remember our first breakup, and we all remember people who helped us get through it.

For young people, a serious emotional event will always be their first one. Kids experience things with such vivid clarity because it’s their first time for everything. That is what our job is as adults. We are leaders and offer guidance – or we should.

Use your experience of overcoming obstacles as fodder to help others get through theirs. It’s a perfect way to take your emotional baggage and turn it into a good thing. Share the love, and everyone can end up smiling together.

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Your list of things to do is starting to feel heavy and there doesn’t seem to be enough time. Everything important seems like it’s being overshadowed by the little interferences. Facebook, Email, Reddit, News feeds – you name it.

It’s not that you don’t value the importance of your work, it’s just that distractions again and again seem to kill your momentum. If not that, then it’s the work interruptions that keep taking you away from what’s significant.

And so the remainder of your important work is being left until later…but by that time, you’re feeling lethargic and unmotivated. Especially since you’ve noticed your energy starts to drop just after lunch. Is there a way of breaking out of this pattern, so that you can finish important work early as early as possible?

Let’s find out.

The Paradox of Choice and why Site Blocking Extensions aren’t the answer

Conducting meaningful work nowadays is heavily based on using the web to our advantage. Yet, we face a multitude of choices when we open up our browser. It’s easy to get lost in a tangle and dabble with our work in-between short bouts of personal web surfing time, especially when we have a whole row of enticing bookmark links. With all this freedom can come: a net poorer quality of work, and a lower ROI on time spent.

Numerous tools to block out sites are available nowadays, but it’s very easy to disable them and get back to our old habits. Besides, they subtly popularize the idea of a black and white mindset. Either it’s a world of distraction, or a full-on productivity mindset with little to no leeway. Neither of these paths are sustainable in the long-run.

So, what can we do instead?

You need to set Smart Limitations to defend yourself

Do not underestimate the Internet. Most likely, you’ve been in a situation where, upon scanning all the pending emails, you got sucked in and five minutes later, forgot why you even checked your inbox in the first place!

Naturally, we want to carefully plan when and how often we check our inbox, social feeds, and bookmarks.

Examples of Smart Limitations:

• I hide my bookmark bar during the first half of the work day.
• I won’t check email in the first hour of the work-day.
• I will check Facebook once per day.
• I will limit myself to one hour blocks of work before taking a break.

“The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work.” ― Mason Currey, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work

How Set-in-advance Limitations Improve Productivity

Smart limitations not only ensure you stick to what you’re working on, but they’re safeguards for your level of focus and happiness. Without them, it’s far easier to follow the whimsical fancies of your mind, before you click into a world that takes you away from accomplishing meaningful work. Yet, smart limitations also give you the freedom to purposefully check sites that aren’t necessarily related to your work, when necessary.

It’s hard to be fulfilled if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do on a given day. This perpetual cycle of self-loathing, annoyance, and guilt – is something we want to avoid. Smart limitations ensure those days come by less often; think of them as your little friends to focus and happiness.

Without set-in-advance limitations, we’ll run amok and follow the path of least resistance. Ironically, resistance to getting the work done is highest when we don’t have any set guidelines on how to get our work done. Going with the flow and being a free spirit with no time bounds has its perks. But not when it comes to getting meaningful work done, it fails miserably.

How to begin implementing Smart Limitations

Carefully think about how often you currently check all the websites and apps that have been distracting you. Make a list of them, and write down a rough estimate on the number of times you’re interrupted by each one daily. Your next step would then to be to write how many times ideally you would like to use those sites/services.

Then, keep a log for the first couple of days just to see if you do stick to your new intentions. You most likely won’t fulfill your new smart limitations right away. But with time, you’ll get better at avoiding distracting sites and apps, and the long term results for your productivity, happiness, and focus – will prove to be stratospheric.

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Tarot is a well known divination method. It can reveal our past, our present and our future. Of course it would be wise to take our decisions based on a thorough analysis and on our inner voice, but sometimes, tarot can reveal some hidden things.

Today the cards will show you something hidden in your soul. But take care, this is only for entertaining purposes.

Take just now this quick and easy quiz and find out what emotion is your subconscious hiding!

What Emotion Is Your Subconscious Hiding?

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Leave a comment below to tell us what you’ve got!

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Everybody fears something. Some people are scared by spiders, while others are terrified by failure. Fear exists in our lives, we cannot deny it.

Fear’s role is to help us survive as a species. It makes us avoid the potentially dangerous situations, maybe saving our life in the process.

Take now this quick quiz and find out what is your biggest fear!

We Know Your Biggest Fear Based On The Images You Choose

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Leave us a comment below to tell us how accurate is the answer you’ve got!

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It doesn’t matter if you’re the wealthiest, prettiest, most successful person around. It doesn’t help if you have the biggest house, the fullest fridge or the most friends. Everyone has bad days, and sometimes even all those other nice things contribute to our sour mood.

Sometimes the more things you have add to our stresses. You always wanted that beautiful house, but now you have a larger mortgage and larger property to take care of. That new car you got was an enriching purchase, but now it’s devalued by over half when you want to sell it, and broken parts are costly to fix.

I recall a friend of mine making a harmless but critical post about his day on Facebook once. A few people reflected the notion in their responses, but another friend just said, “I’ve never seen you complain about anything before.” The original poster quickly deleted the post, since he could see how that attitude can be toxic and spread.

It’s surprising how little it takes to offset our mood. Sometimes just waking up from a bad dream is enough, and it feels like fixing our day would be irreparable. It’s not so hard though! Here’s a couple of things to take your mind off your sour state:

1. Go watch a movie

We always complain that we work too much, need more rest or need to take a vacation. In fact, we don’t have to go too far to elicit the same reaction in our brain that taking a vacation gives to us. Put in a DVD, watch a new trending series, get a Netflix account or even better, go to the cinema! For a few hours, movies take us away from our world and allow us to enter their world. We can forget about our script and enjoy someone else’s script, going to new worlds, seeing new people, and being mystified by the supernatural. So it doesn’t really cost thousands of dollars to take a vacation – just watch a movie and experience the feeling of the unknown for free (or much less)!

2. Go for a run/the gym

I know it seems like the hardest thing to do when you are in a funk. Even when I am in a bad mood it is hard to imagine using what energy I have to exercise. But getting a bit of sweat has consistently throughout history proven to put us in a better mood no matter what. You might have an awful workout or a short run but at least you tried. You will feel at least a bit better, and can use the rest of the day to recover further.

3. Retail therapy

Any excuse to go shopping is good enough for some! Hey, you’re in a bad mood and it doesn’t happen too often, so go buy that cool thing you’ve been looking at. Your dark thoughts will be glazed over by the interactions you had with salespeople and the experience of finally pulling the trigger and getting yourself something nice. A new emotion will occur – bravery! You could never buy that thing before but suddenly doing it now makes you feel a bit stronger. That’s what you need today!

4. Eat some junk food!

Hopefully you are usually conscious about your health and eat somewhat properly. Even if you don’t, there will always be some foods that you like to treat yourself too. Now’s your chance! Eat as much of it as you like. You will feel great that you offered to treat yourself and gave yourself the liberty to enjoy the food when you usually don’t let yourself. Today’s the day to say “who cares!” and do whatever you want.

5. Blast some music and clean your house

You know you have to clean your house, but when are you going to do it? If you’re in a bad mood, the best thing to do is take up that spring cleaning chore. Play your favourite music as loud as you want and tidy up those dark corners of your house and that yucky sink. You’ll have a good time, take your mind off your day and refocus your energy on something else, and at the end of it you’ll have a nice clean house! Great!

6. Play with some animals

Do you have a pet? Do you know someone who does? Spend some time with your dog or cat, or someone else’s. Maybe there’s a cool cat cafe you’ve always wanted to check out in your time. Pets love you unconditionally and want to give you hugs no matter what state you’re in.

7. Talk to an old friend

Talking to someone you haven’t spoken with in a while is a great way to bring you back down to earth. Ask what they’ve been up to all these months or years. It will remind you of good times and all the enjoyment you’ve had up until, unfortunately, today. You can both reminisce and you’ll feel rewarded by the interaction, and maybe make plans to meet up again some time!

8. Find a new recipe for dinner

If you’re having a bad day, counter it by spending your day reading about some exciting new flavours you’ve been wanting to try, occupy your day by going to the grocery and finding all those new ingredients, and treat yourself and/or your friends and family to a great (hopefully) new meal! It’s adventurous and anything to get your mind out of a rut is great (especially if you can eat it!)

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Have you experienced a desperate, unhealthy and toxic love relationship before?

A love that is painful and hurtful. A love that brings you tears and suffering. A love that you have to talk to your friend’s about for hours on end. A love that you question almost daily.

While we try to avoid these relationships, we tend to find ourselves in them.  I was in a relationship that caused both of us a lot of pain. We wanted love, but chose suffering daily. We didn’t know how to love each other and instead, showed love in unhealthy ways.  We found ourselves in a relationship that brought pain and heartache.

I realized that we didn’t know how to love.

If you grew up in unhealthy home or with a family who didn’t show you affection, you likely didn’t learn the skills to love. You also were misguided by our society which shows you love in idealistic and unrealistic ways. The dreamy love in fairy-tales and movies are fiction that don’t take the hard work into account.

Here are 9 healthy ways to love another person you care about:

1)      Reduce expectations of your partner.

During the initial stages of getting to know someone, you don’t have any expectations of him. You value him for who he is and are grateful for what he does for you.  You appreciate qualities about him without wanting him to be a certain way. Why do we only reserve this for the beginning of relationships? You can expect some things of your partner like respect, kindness and love but expecting him to say certain things, do things or address needs that you haven’t voiced is difficult for someone to fulfill.  Creating many expectations is the sure way to disappointments and frustrations.  Healthy relationships means letting go of silent expectations of your partner.

2)      Accept your partner for where they are.

Instead of the expectations game, try acceptance instead. See what it is you can appreciate about your partner. See how you can make it work by accepting your partner for who they are. No one is perfect in this world. We each have our wounds and hurts growing up. Romantic relationships constantly trigger our deepest wounds. Can you learn to accept your partner for who they are? You may not be able to always do so and that would be the time to walk away from a relationship. But if you are with a compatible partner, try to see his point of view, extend compassion and seek understanding.  Accept him for where he is today and support him to become the best version of himself.

3)      Create boundaries for yourself.

While you should strive to accept your partner, you can’t do so blindly either and accept without limits. You  have to create your personal set of boundaries and honor those. You can’t bend over backwards to please someone or put up with harmful behavior. If you don’t stand up for yourself and speak up, you will continue to find people who take advantage of you, hurt you or waste your time. Know what you expect in relationships and let your partner know what you expect from him. Not voicing your preferences and needs so you can preserve the relationship is a losing battle.

4)      Learn to listen with your ears and your heart.

Listening is critical to relationships but we all pay so little attention to this skill. We are bored, tired, don’t make space for our partners and often ignore our partners.  Listen in an uninterrupted way. Listen not to respond but listen to understand.  Try to get to the core of what your partner is saying. You have to listen with your ears but also with your heart. What is your partner saying beyond the words? Once you listen to your partner, tell him what you heard and confirm that’s what he said. Don’t make assumptions or come up with your own version of what was said. Listen from your heart so you’re listening with compassion and understanding.

5)      Communicate to let your partner know what your needs are.

All too often in relationships, we tend to speak up in toxic ways. We use put downs, negativity and caustic words to hurt our partners.  We don’t express our needs but use shame and guilt to get what we want. Instead of defaulting to hurtful language and harmful conversations, start by expressing what your needs are to your partner. Let him know what you want. Ask him to do help, listen or be there for you. Ask in a kind and loving way. Your partner wants to do the right thing but can’t read your mind. You can help him by guiding them. You guide him by speaking up and letting him know what you want from him.

6)      Don’t have plans to change your partner.

You’re never going to be able to change your partner yet so many relationships are premised on one or both partners trying to change one another. As I’ve mentioned above, acceptance is the key to a loving relationship. If you really want to change your partner, first accept him for who he is. You can tell him what you want from him, ask him in a loving way to make small changes and applaud him when he does make changes in his life. Instead of focusing on changes, focus on the person you fell in love with. Focus on his strengths, qualities you appreciate and characteristics you were attracted to.

7)      Know that you don’t possess your partner.

Along the lines of not changing your partner, remember that you don’t possess your partner either. Stay away from thinking of your partner as an object you own or a person you control. A partner is not a pet. (Speaking of pets, you shouldn’t treat your pets that way either!) You do NOT own your partner. You are in a equal relationship with your partner.  Your partner’s feelings, thoughts and decisions are their own. You can talk about differences and make compromises but don’t expect your partner to do what you want simply because you expect them to. Or because you feel he’s obligated to you, being in the relationship.

8)      Don’t store your happiness in your partner’s heart.

You will never be happy if you believe your happiness is in your partner’s love for you. You will never be happy if you believe your partner has the key to your happiness. Your partner cannot fulfill, complete or love you the way you want to be loved and treated. You cannot find happiness, love and meaning in your partner. Your partner can enhance your love and happiness but they can’t instill it in you. You can find that in yourself. You have to make yourself happy first and cultivate the love within. You want to be able to share the love within you with your partner, not find love in your partner. Love yourself deeply and intimately before you open your heart to romance.

9)      Work on your relationship every day.

Magical relationships exists in fairy-tales, romance novels, pop songs and music videos.  In real life, however, it takes work. No relationship is perfect and no relationship will work without you putting time into it. Why do you spend so much effort to get into a relationship but then let your efforts fall to the wayside once you’re in it? Work on your relationship by taking active steps daily. Work on communication and set aside time. Work on romance and set aside time. Plan activities together during the week. Share. Give and take. Compromise. Compliment. Praise. Show each other respect. Remember, the path to love is a journey over time, not a destination to race to.

What have you done to open your heart to love in your relationships? Please share in the comments below.

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Everybody is different. We all have qualities that set us apart from everybody else. Usually we know them, but it is also true that the way we see ourselves is not the way that others see us.

Let’s have some fun and discover at the same time what is the first thing that people notice about us.

Take now this fun quiz and find out what is the first thing people notice about your personality!

What Is The First Thing People Notice About Your Personality?

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That’s a quiz only for women. It’s Monday, but that doesn’t mean a bit of daydreaming will hurt anybody. Maybe you have met somebody interesting over the weekend… Maybe you are waiting for Prince Charming.

Have you ever asked yourself how the guys see you? If not, maybe it’s about time to do it. This quiz can help.

Take just now this quick and fun quiz and find out how men perceive you.

How Do Men Perceive You?

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Leave a comment below to tell us what you’ve got!

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We’ve heard it our whole lives – “less is more” – but what does it even mean? Teachers tell us this without background, and little posters of Buddha tell us this without frame of reference – but we seem to love hearing it anyways. How many times have you said “oh well, less is more” as a response – maybe for a joke or not!

Less is more is a phrase used to express an idea that a minimalist approach is better for something than a larger production would be. It’s a lot deeper than that, but these days people like to use it to define themselves or justify their lifestyle.

When you think of people who use this phrase as a lifestyle maybe you think of underachievers – people who live in small, basic homes, with little decor and what seems to be little ambition to change. These people are maybe not seeking a physical life of less is more, but maybe they have to adopt it in a frame of positivity because their bank balance won’t let them into another style of life. Some people are forced to treat less is more as a happy place because they cannot afford to live another way.

Or maybe we think of the young professional overachiever, portrayed as being a bit snobby, in their fancy IKEA flats where everything serves a purpose, decor is once again at a minimum, and their home looks like the front page of Advertisement magazine. We accidentally tend to be almost jealous of people who can enjoy their picture perfect lifestyle with so little but so much, but again, we never know the full story.

Why is less, more?

1. Emotional relief

It may sound a bit psychopathic, but people who are less emotionally attached to things will also feel the relief of not being so upset when disaster strikes. These people have hardened themselves to be able to quickly recover from breakups or financial concern, while still being able to maintain an air of happiness and gratitude. Less is more for them because they are able to live life without feeling trapped by emotions of the past.

2. The power of summary

We are almost forced to accept that less is more in our social media lives these days. They say the hardest part of journal writing isn’t necessarily reaching the word count, but trying to stay under it. Professionally or academically for some people, our text based world of 144 characters these days has a positive contribution in the way we are able to summarize things. We can get the point across without taking up too much paper, and this is something we like to see when we’re scanning headlines.

3. Declutter!

Of course the obvious one is to keep your home looking fresh and clean. We’ve all seen episodes of hoarders that look like our worst nightmare – are our homes on the same path? Take a look around and open your closet – did 10 pounds of boxes just fall on you? If not, great! If so, perhaps it’s time for a bit of spring cleaning.
There are piles of things laying around your house that you don’t need. Inside we are all secretly hoarders. Throughout our lives we amass catalogues of interesting thing that remind us of our lives. You don’t have to throw things out, but in order to keep your home fresh, consider donating your things to other people, or limiting what you have out on display. Make sure everything serves a purpose and isn’t cluttering your view for nothing.

4. The backpacker

Just for reference, what might be the opposite of a hoarder is the backpacker. These are the people living lifestyles we can only sort of dream about from our office – people who travel the world living just out of a backpack or suitcase, with only their possessions to their name. How do they do? Easily. Instead of filling up closets with new shoes, they fill up passports with stamps, and their head with memories. For backpackers, less is more – the less you have, the more mobile you are, and the more room you have in your heart for unforgettable adventures.

5. Your words

We’ve all gotten in trouble with our significant other for talking too much. Sometimes we just ramble on, losing track of our thought and words, leading us into dangerous territory. We make mistakes doing this and continue to learn about how not to do it again. Sometimes less is more in a relationship. You will learn to say only what you need to when things are on ice, and keep your points concise and confident, keeping your relationship safe. It doesn’t take much to recover from a domestic argument – a few well placed words and gestures is often enough to save the day.

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We are tougher than we think! But how tough are we really? Usually, when life trow a curveball we will deal with it, no matter how difficult the situation. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here to read this.

But, are you a tough cookie or cuddly all around? It’s only one way to find out…

Take just now this quick, easy and fun quiz and find out how tough are you really!

How Tough Are You Really?

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