It’s been tough. This whole relationship has been up and down, back and forth, good and bad but lately it’s been mostly bad. You’ve been thinking of leaving for a very long time and have just recently found the courage to do it. You get ready to tell your partner and then you back out again at the last minute, unable to follow through with it. This has been going on for a while now and it’s about time to stop it.

So what’s it going to take for you to finally write that good bye letter. How much more anguish and sadness do you need to feel before it’s time? You already know it’s important for you to do this, why haven’t you yet then? Of course fear plays a big part in all this. Fear is downright crippling and will hold you anywhere for a very long time. There are a few things you must remind yourself of in order to take that leap of faith.

You’re going to be ok.

First and foremost, keep telling yourself you will be ok. Many of us who want to leave a relationship think that we can’t make it on our own without our partner. Of course you can and chances are, you’ll be able to make it even better without them. We think the worst things will happen when in fact, none of them ever do. You’re going to be ok. Keep reminding yourself of that.

You are way better off.

You already know this but you fall into that “things aren’t so bad” mode and decide against your plans to leave. You know life will be beyond fantastic when you leave so hurry up and do it. Why do we prolong our happiness? You already know that every single aspect of your life is going to be great the minute you leave. Don’t wait another minute.

Freedom.

That freedom that you have been longing for will finally be yours. You know the freedom I speak of. That freedom that you get when you are finally on your own doing your own thing with no one to answer to. That freedom where you can come and go as you please and not worry about getting interrogated like you just committed murder. That freedom to be who you are all the time and not have to pretend to be someone you’re not to make someone else happy. Yes, that freedom will be yours.

You don’t need anyone.

Get out of that “I need you” mentality. You don’t need anyone but yourself. You are perfectly capable of making decisions on your own and you have already made some great decisions all by yourself. You don’t need anyone to decide things for you. Once you start making decisions for yourself again you will see how awesome these decisions are for you and self confidence will follow.

Make room for awesome.

You have been hanging on for far too long to a love/relationship that doesn’t supply you with all the love and happiness you deserve. You know you are deserving are far more than your partner is giving you. you also know that you would really like a solid loving relationship. When you finally leave you are making room for the perfect for you partner to show up. You are blocking them right now. Let go of the old, make room for the new.

Who am I anyway.

Who are you really? For years, you’ve been this person trying to please someone else. You’ve been a pretend person keeping the peace just to make everyone else happy but the most important person, you, isn’t happy. As soon as you leave, you will have time to discover who you really are and all the things that make you happy or not. You can do more of the happy things and dump the things you’ve been doing for years that don’t bring you joy.

No one wants to go through the dreaded break up. We all hope to stay with our partner til death to us part but sometimes that’s just not possible and the breakup part is really hard to do. So we hang on. It’s time to let go and go live a happier life. We are all here for joy, not misery. If you are in a relationship now that is causing you misery, it’s time to let go. You deserve happiness.

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Our favorite colors can tell a lot about us! If we are optimists or pessimists, if we are male or female, even can hint at our age. But can the colors tell from where we are?

I believe it’s possible, the colors can tell even that. How come? you might ask. It’s simple, the culture we have grown up in prefers some colors over the others.

Take now this quick, fun quiz and find out if your favorite colors can reveal where are you from!

Can Your Favorite Colors Reveal Where You Are From?
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We live in a society where, ideally, we would love everything to run smoothly and perfectly but when it doesn’t, we freak out. We do. We yell or cry or throw things, sometimes temper tantrums, we call everyone we know and frantically explain to them that life, as you know, it has crumbled to the ground and there’s nothing you can do about it. And that’s only because the car didn’t start today. There are many things you shouldn’t stress out about. The car not starting is only a small example.

From work to family, many things in our lives are triggers to stress. Some things we actually can control, others, not so much. So what do we do about the things we can’t control? Let them go, really. So what are some of the things we shouldn’t stress about that we probably are anyway?

1. Your appearance.

Many people fret over their weight, their skin, the size of their nose, their grey hair or wrinkles. We all want to be picture perfect. You are already. You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are. Why do so many of us desperately try to make ourselves look like something we’re not to try to be better looking? Plastic surgery, Botox, fillers. You can’t fix perfection, which is what you are.

2. Do they like me?

Who cares? You should like you. If you don’t like you how do you think other people are going to like you (even though you really shouldn’t stress about that anyway). Like and love yourself first. The rest will fall into place and you will attract the right people to like and love you.

3. Will I fit it?

Why would even want to? None of us are born to fit in. We are here to stand out and make a difference. A big difference. Hard to do that if you are too busy stressing about how to fit in. We want people to like us and accept us but why do we change who we are for that to happen? They won’t be liking the true you, then. They will be liking or accepting a modified version of the real you, which is never successful in the end.

4. I failed.

No you didn’t. There is no such thing as failure. You had a vision, you brought it to life, you learned many things along the way and in the end, the vision was put to rest. The end. There is no failure here. You won’t know what you can or can’t do unless you attempt something new. Keep at it.

5. Do I have enough money?

Are you still doing the stress over money thing? the more you stress about it the more you will have less money. Let that go. Remember the universe hears everything you say and operates at the same vibrational level you do. The more you stress about not having enough money, the longer it will keep you in that zone. Do yourself a favour. Open to receive from now on.

6. Trying to please everyone.

Stop that right now. You won’t. No matter how hard you try. You will not succeed which will result in even more stress for you. Please yourself first. Never mind anyone else. When they see you are happy, then they will be happy too. Or not. Who cares? It’s not up to us to make everyone happy. It’s up to us to make us happy. Everyone else can work on making themselves happy. That’s not your job.

We should all learn to just relax, enjoy life and be who we are without trying to conform or mold ourselves into what society wants us to be to fit in. Stand out, be you, be happy and embrace your uniqueness. There is no one better at being you than you. Chill out.

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Finally, a clear article about how I can manipulate everyone in my life. My friends, coworkers, family, now absolute putty in my hands. Okay, calm down because your evil intentions will not work here. Many of us wish we could understand the inner-workings of others’ minds, as well as enhance the exchanges we share with others in not just our favor, but theirs as well. This is not only a way to learn more about yourself and others, but about finding the best way to effectively communicate and grow.

First things first, the test. Some of you have probably already taken or heard of the Myers Briggs Personality test, but I ask that you take it, possibly a few on a couple different sites to get a more accurate result. I could go on about why I choose this test over all other personality tests, but, ultimately, this is the one I find most accurate and informative. So, go ahead, I can wait.

Hopefully, you took the test, and maybe you already knew or maybe you’re surprised. In the case of inconclusive results, pick the one you feel best reflects you. Regardless, I’ll do a quick overview of what the results can mean before you start taking over the minds’ of humanity.

Overview

There are 8 different letters, you will receive 4. Let’s talk about what the letters actually mean.

Extrovert or Introvert: Your result either begins with an E or an I. Essentially, this come downs to how your body recharges and finds “peace.” Generally, extroverts feel better after having talked to another person or in a group setting, whereas an introvert may feel rejuvenated after spending quality time with one’s self. While there may be hybrids of this particular balance, this comes down to what awakens your mind.

Intuition or Sensing: This category is about how you take in information. The sensory deals with tangible results or basics, meaning you have to see it to believe it. The intuitive-nature stems from a more inquisitive style that looks for possibilities or new and different meanings.

Thinking or Feeling: This is the one we’ll focus on the most and deals with how we make decisions. As a thinker you generally want to focus on the logic, numbers, and consistency. Someone who is a feeler focuses on the emotions and people in a situation.

Judging or Perceiving: Perceivers like to live in the moment and find ways to be spontaneous and leave options open. Judgers like to plan more heavily and require structure.

If you want a detailed explanation of your personality, look elsewhere. There is no superior “type,” but rather this experiment be an opportunity to understand and appreciate all types and broaden your perspective.

Decision-Making

Now, we’re at the point where we’re molding the minds of others to our liking. The majority of the persuasion we will learn comes down to the way we appeal to how one makes decisions. While we don’t automatically know everyone’s personality type, we can preface conversations or meetings in ways that will help us have a better understanding of how one conducts business or decides something. Again, much of this is common sense, but this explanation may help you apply this to your day to day interactions.

When we discover someone seems to focus more on results, logic, or numbers, we can already start appealing to this sense they have when it comes to making decisions. For example, suppose your boss is a thinker, and you want a second computer monitor for your research but know the budget is tight. Instead of just asking for another monitor, you highlight the increase in your performance and research that will increase company value, retention, blah blah blah. Pretty simple right?

Same situation, but your boss is a feeler. Instead of talking numbers, we may refocus attention on the people who will benefit from your research and how this will bring more people to the company, growing the community, blah blah.

Another option for further persuasion is dealing with how they prefer to take in information. This can be much harder considering how challenging it is to figure out if someone is intuitive or sensory-based. If you do know or think you have a good idea, you can apply the same principles with focusing on either tangible results or relate to them on the potential of the situation. In the same situation previously addressed, we can appeal to a more intuitive individual if we talk about the endless possibilities and future progress of the research. If dealing with sensory-based, you would want to shift your focus to the current findings of the research.

This simple tool can prove to be highly effective, it’s almost scary. This approach can be used for good or bad, but I encourage you to use this knowledge as a way for better constructing your discussions and desires. While this article may be laden with sarcasm, much of what I have shared is applicable to various avenues in life and can promote far better communication across all platforms.

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Have you ever dreamed of being a famous person? My best guess is that every one of us did, at least once! If you could be anybody who would you chose? And why?

If you want to know with which famous leader you are sharing some traits of your personality, this test is for you.

Take just now this quick, fun quiz to find out which famous leader you were in your past life!

Which Famous Leader Were You In Your Past Life?
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You guys have been hanging out since elementary school. Besties then and seemingly besties now. But wait. You’re starting to get that feeling. You know, that feeling like you really don’t want to sit and chew the fat with them anymore. That feeling where they are actually almost starting to annoy you. That feeling. What happened? Could it be that maybe it’s time to dump that friend?

People change. We grow, we learn, we rise and we fall. Some mature, others, not so much. If you are one of those people who have grown, learn and matured and maybe your friend hasn’t, well, it could be time to say see ya later. Here are a few reasons that may sound like something you are going through right now.

1. Friday nights don’t mean the same.

There once was a time where partying til sunrise was a thing. A fun thing. You’re not there anymore but your friend is. He/she still wants to do that. Every weekend. You don’t mind going out every now and then, but every weekend? No thanx. You are perfectly happy sitting at home on a Friday night and watching a good movie or having a nice conversation and a few laughs with some friends.

2. Still bitching.

They are still going on and on about what happened back in high school with that mean teacher. Or what about that girlfriend who dumped them because they drank too much. They just haven’t been able to let go of the past and all they want to do is gripe and bitch about it. You are completely over it and moving on. In fact, bitching and griping just isn’t your thing. This repetitive conversation is starting to take its toll on you and you are no longer interested in being a part of it. It’s boring and old.

3. Repelling the negative.

It was fun to sit around and drink and talk about people and moan about your job and all that negative stuff. But you’ve switched gears lately. You aren’t that negative person anymore. Recently you’ve been mastering the art of turning negative into positive and long to have only positive experiences and people in your life. Your friend? Not so much. They are still full of negativity with no hope of them coming to the brighter side. It could be time to say bye.

4. Personal growth.

You are growing and learning. Expanding and evolving. So much to learn and new people to meet. Not your friend. They don’t want to change. They are stuck where they are and whether or not they are happy there is questionable. What is clear is that they have no plans of changing.

5. They really are kind of boring.

Their talk is boring, their lifestyle is boring and nothing has changed. At all. They are stuck in their old ways and are not interested in doing different things or trying new things. You suggest new places to go and new things to do but their response is always no. You’ve tried to get to the bottom of it to no avail. It’s just time to move on. Life is short and fun and precious. You know that. Your friend doesn’t see it like that.

6. What are we hanging on for?

You have been hanging on to this friend because it reminds you of fun times from your youth. Trouble with that is, you aren’t there anymore. You are an adult now and you both have changed so much. There is nothing to hang on to anymore but a distant memory. It’s ok for it to remain just a memory and it’s also ok for you to move on. Go ahead.

It’s hard to say goodbye to old friends but people grow and change and move on. It’s ok. Let them go. Make room for like minded people. Your tribe.

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Do you like your things a certain way, and any other situation makes you nervous? Are you friends calling you obsessed? According to Wikipedia “Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder where people feel the need to check things repeatedly, perform certain routines repeatedly (called “rituals”), or have certain thoughts repeatedly.” Of course, this is a clinical diagnosis who must be determined by a specialist. But most of us can relate with it in certain circumstances.

This test is not a clinical evaluation, but it can give you a hint about the way you are seeing things.

So, take just now this quick and easy quiz and find out how OCD you are!

How OCD Are You?
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We just can’t let go. No matter how hard we try, we no matter how much we say we are through with whatever crap we claim to be through with, we still can’t let go. We’ve kicked our problems to the curb, and took back our lives and our power, but still, the past creeps up on us and torments us.  When will it ever leave us be? There are certain things to always keep in mind when this happens.

They say to forgive and forget. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Sometimes the forgiving comes pretty easy. It’s the forgetting that some of us tend to find a wee bit more difficult. Or is it vice versa. Whatever the case may be, both take effort.  Even with all the effort we put into that, we still remember the shitty times. Let’s look at a few things to keep in mind when the past creeps up on you.

1. It’s out of your control.

Whatever happened happened and it’s officially done and over with. It doesn’t serve any purpose in your world today and the only thing it does is cause anxiety and frustration. Both of what you don’t need. Try to focus on the things of today that you can control and that make you happy. Think more of those things.

2. You’re a different person.

Whatever happened yesterday helped to mold you into the person you are today. You have grown from it, become stronger and probably even wiser. Thank the past for the lessons and move on with your future. If that shit thing didn’t happen to you imagine how different life would be today. You’d be the same naïve person with people trampling all over you. Not so anymore. You’re smarter than that now thanx to this one lesson. You are so much brighter and so is your life.

3. You learn something new about them.

The person in question used to be a friend. You loved them and thought the world of them. They turned out to be not so nice and pretty mean in fact. Good thing you found all this out now and not much further down the road. It could have ended up a lot worse than it did. Be thankful you caught on early. Ok so they hurt you. Let it go. You are a much better person than they are and you are far better off without them too.

4. That was then, this is now.

Look at how much better your life is now. You have been dragged through the mud and have come out smiling. Good for you. Many people have a really hard time getting over difficult periods in their life. You have gone through and triumphed. Not them, you. Look at yourself today and give yourself a pat on the back or take yourself out for a treat next time a shitty memory comes up. You are a victor. Way to go.

5. Respect is beautiful.

After all is said and done, you came out with your head held high and not only tons of self respect but respect from others as well. You are no longer grudging over the past, though a memory does creep in every now and then, but you are walking tall with your shoulders back and head high. You did it. Next time you have a horrible thought about the past remember your self respect and how far you’ve come. You’re awesome.

We all learn a lot from our past. It will come back every now and again to taunt you but laugh at it, shrug it off and remind your past that you are the boss now and you are in control of your life. Not the past. Not anymore.

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Our personality is always changing due to the experiences we go trough. But the core of it will stay the same. You have qualities that make you one of a kind, but you may not realise exactly what makes you unique.

Take this quick and easy quiz to discover your personality!

The Most Accurate 25 Question Personality Test

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The F word. So many of hear that word and squirm in our seats. You’re probably doing that right now. No one said forgiveness was easy. It’s just not impossible. When I talk about forgiveness to anyone, one of the very first things I hear is they don’t deserve forgiveness. Of course they don’t. What they did was downright shitty. But we don’t forgive for them. It is critical right now for you to forgive everyone who ever hurt you.

Many of us have been hurt, very bad. Some of us have an unexplainable pain that may never go away. The pain may not be visible but it is there and it buried very deep. Others show their pain on their face and still hold it in their heart and on their sleeve for everyone to see. They want people to see their pain and rub their back. Pain comes in all shapes and sizes. So does forgiveness. We cannot judge anyone’s pain as we do not know how their pain feels. We all have a right to our feelings of grief, hurt, anger, frustration and sadness without judgement.

The most important part of it all, is the forgiveness part. And here’s why.

1. Forgiveness frees you, not them.

It frees you from the grips of pain and anger. It frees you from poison and toxicity. It frees you from grudges and hate. All that bottled up blackness you have stored inside of you; forgiveness takes care of all of that for you. It will stay there, locked inside of you and boil and erupt until you forgive this person for what they did to you. life is too short to live with so much blackness in your heart and soul.

2. It’s not a two-way street.

You are giving so much energy to all this anger and hurt. You are directing all your attention and anger to them and what they did but they most certainly are not wasting all their energy thinking of you. They probably could not care less about you. Your thoughts of anger and hurt are yours and yours alone. Chances are they probably don’t even feel guilty for what they did. Kick them out of your head; they are living there for free.

3. Make room for goodness.

If you are looking for peace and happiness or maybe even a new partner, you will struggle to find it or him/her until you release the toxicity that is taking up a huge part of your heart, mind and soul. There is no room for goodness. You are keeping it from coming to you and it really wants you too but you need to make room for it. It’s time. Even if you just forgive and release one person at a time, that will make a little room each day.

4. My, your cheeks are rosy.

When we are in a total state of love and peace and we have forgiven all that have hurt us, we feel better. We have a spring in our step, a twinkle in our eye and even glowing rosy cheeks. We’re just healthier and happier and it shows up in our health. Our emotions play a huge part in our physical health. When our emotions are in check and aligned, our health is prime.

5. A nicer path moving forward.

Once we have forgiven, as we move forward in life, we learn to not put up with anyone’s bullshit anymore but we also learn, and now know, that forgiveness is the key. If anyone does try to pull a fast one over us and actually succeeds, we now have the tools to forgive and move on. We know that letting it stay in our soul will only poison us and we’re done with that. My, how you’ve grown.

Forgiveness certainly isn’t easy and for some it is ongoing, but the rewards are well worth it. Take one person today and send them forgiveness. Just one. You have to start sometime with someone, why not today, right now?

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