We’ve all been there. Either you or I have been in a really shitty place, realized it was crap and took the time and all the necessary steps to change. We know what we did was either wrong or just ridiculously stupid. We all make mistakes. Some of us stay in that place while the rest of others desperately try to figure out what we did, why we did it, recover and grow from it. While we’re trying to make our lives better there are certain things you should never say to us. I mean, we are trying.

Naturally, there is always a handful of naysayers. The loud mouths who don’t want you to succeed or change or grow. They like you just the way you are and don’t want you to improve. These are the people who are also afraid of your growth. They realize it may be a new beginning for you but the end for them. If you are one of these people or know someone like this, send them this article and tell them that while you are learning, changing and growing, these are the things they should not be saying to you.

1. Remember your Uncle Gerry tried that and it backfired on him.

Look at him now. Chances are I don’t really care about Uncle Gerry’s demise. I am not Uncle Gerry. I am me and I am confident in my growth.

2. You better be careful, you know it’s not just you who will pay the price if this goes wrong.

If this goes wrong? First of all, nothing is going to go wrong and secondly of course it’s just me who will pay whatever imaginary price you are talking about. This is my life. I am responsible for me, no one else.

3. Why would you want to do that?

Why would I not want to do that? I’m trying to change my life. Change is good. Hasn’t anyone told you that? We can’t stay the same forever. There comes a time where you will have to be open to learn and grow. A little encouragement goes a long way here.

4. Didn’t you already try that once and it failed?

Maybe I did and maybe it did fail. So what? I’ll keep trying until I get it right. When was the last time you tried to improve your life? Stop bringing up my failures.

5. Oh, you’re doing that again are you?

Yes, yes I am. So what of it? I see that me trying to better myself and improve my life annoys you. Is it fear or jealousy? The sooner we figure out what it is the sooner you can work on improving that.

6. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll still be here for you.

Why would it not work out? Why wouldn’t you be here for me if it does work out? Do you think I’m going to fail at improving my life? Thanx for the vote of confidence.

7. Oh well we all know how this is going to end.

We do? How? Do you know a secret that I don’t? Are you referring to my past just now? Why would you do that? We’re moving past the past and into the future. You should stop bringing up yesterday please.

8. Why can’t you just let things be?

Let them be as shitty as they are now you mean? You mean leave things just as they are and stay the same forever like the rest of you guys? Why would I want to do that? That sounds like a horrible idea.

9. Your life if just fine the way it is.

Really? Is it? It hasn’t changed in months, years even and it’s filled with misery and sadness. I’m stuck in a horrible job and stagnating. Why would you say my life is fine? It’s not fine. There’s nothing fine about it. You just don’t want me to change.

10. Well, good luck with that.

How am I supposed to take that? You don’t sound remotely sincere. As a matter of fact, you sound very sarcastic when you say that. Are you imp lying I am going to need all the luck I can get with trying to improve my life? Ok, well thank you.

People who are trying to improve their life really just want a few words of encouragement. That’s it, that’s all. Be happy for them and show them you care and you believe in them. That’s not so hard to do, is it?

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It’s hard to describe somebody by just one word! But it’s even harder to do it by a four letter word. However, it’s a funny exercise that will help our imagination. So, if you were to describe yourself by a four letter word what word would you use? Even if it’s not the same as the one that you will get by taking this quiz, it will help you know what’s the image you have about yourself.

You can even ask your friends to do the same and compare the results! It’s easy and fun!

Take just now this quiz to find out which four letter word perfectly describes you!

Which 4 Letter Word Perfectly Describes You?

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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate this is!

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We all need a bit of self prescribed motivation every now and then. Our house may be plastered in welcoming phrases and inspiring pictures, but unless we are telling it to ourselves convincingly, we may never get the picture. Inspirational slogans and imagery can only do so much for us, because unless we are driving it through ourselves without outside influence it will just become white noise and will have no impact on us. The sources you get inspiration from must be absorbed, tracked and followed upon; we need to do our homework and keep practicing, like a yoga or math student. Here are a couple of things you should be saying to yourself everyday – simple, practical, and effectual. It only takes a few seconds.

1. Today is going to be great!

Whenever your day starts, whether it’s when you get out of bed, get your first coffee, or get to work, you should remind yourself that today is going to be a great day; and trust me, there will be a lot thrown at you to refute it. It could be a cloudy day, there could be bad traffic, you’ve spilled some food, you forgot something at home… any factor could be occurring to pull you down. But as soon as your day is in motion, you should be ready to conquer it. Remember the bright side of everything. If your day started on a bad foot, it can only get better! It’s all about perspective. If you tell yourself you are going to have a good day, you are charging your mind with powerful positive energy and as long as you believe it, you can do it.

2. I am the strongest today that I have ever been.

To some, each passing day means getting a day older, and no one likes getting older. But, I like getting older. Why? Because everyday we reach our new oldest point in life, we have new experiences to learn from. Everyday teach es us something. As humans, we are constantly making mistakes and learning from them, improving ourselves and the quality of life we have. On every new day that we live and is coming to us, we are at a point where we have learned the most and can adapt our feelings, decisions and moral judgements to shape us into the best we can be. Be able to turn your bad decisions into a learning experience and create the best you. Invite age and change, and the more positively you accept it the stronger you will keep becoming.

3. I look great!

You don’t have to be the most beautiful, the strongest looking , the sexiest, the tallest – whatever you think the idea of beauty is. What really matters is how you carry what you have. The way you do your makeup, the way you fit into your clothes, your posture and attitude. If you can have power over the way you appear, anyone can be as beautiful and powerful as you want.

4. I am going to learn something new today.

Maybe you’ve been at the same 9 to 5 job for a long time and things have gotten stale. That doesn’t mean there’s not room for growth and discovery. Challenge yourself to learn something new everyday, in places where you’d least expect. Learn something new about the restaurants in the food court, or about someone you know – or don’t know! See it as a riddle, and if you spend all day trying to learn something new and conquer this riddle, the day will fly by and you will have a bit of fun with it.

5. I am going to overcome something today.

Now that you’ve learned something new, challenge yourself again to put yourself into a moral or mental situation for you to overcome. Rethink how you work at your job and find new ways to overcome simple tasks. Discover new solutions and gameplans for otherwise regular jobs. You could unlock new habits within yourself that improve your productivity.

6. I am going to thank someone today.

This goes without saying, because we thank everyone on a daily basis – people who serve us food, give us change, etc. But I want you to really thank someone, to go out of your way to make someone else feel appreciated and special. Thank people for things they are otherwise unthanked for, or point out habits they do that make everyone else at work feel less burdened. They will appreciate your keen eye for ethic, and everyone will feel better and have a better day for it.

Give thanks for a little, and you will find a lot.

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The rate of divorce is roughly up to 50% nowadays, depending on where you live.  This post is dedicated to this new ‘norm’, as well as to those who are in long-term relationships looking towards marriage and to those who also hope to find their spouse.

There’s nothing more disappointing than to know that as much as you look forward to meeting your life partner, or have this big amazing wedding to celebrate an amazing relationship, you later find yourself at the brink of reality and statistics gets the better of you with the option of divorce looking at you square in the face.  Although divorce is a convenient option to have, it’s more important to know the meaning of marriage and look at it as it’s meant to be, whether we are married or not.  Let’s explore the meanings of marriage we have today and the current belief systems which have lead to divorce or unhappy marriages.  Lastly, this is to remind us the true, original meaning of marriage at its core with only three things we need to know about it, and I think the simplicity of it can inspire many couples.

So what does marriage actually mean?

My initial search on the meaning of marriage pulled up: ‘the legally recognized union of two people as partners (those with shared risks and benefits, yes, that means I had to look up the meaning of ‘partners’ too!) in a relationship’.  Sadly, when I searched ‘marriage contract’ for more specifics on this ‘partnership’, guess what pulled up?  A bunch of lawyer ads and samples for pre/post nuptial agreements in the event of a divorce.

It’s important to know the widely accepted definition of certain concepts, like marriage, because these define our expectations, and the lack of meeting our expectations is what leads to divorce or unhappy marriages.  From the definition alone, we expect marriage to be two individuals becoming one (union) and also be partners.  Physically, emotionally, financially and in every other sense, it’s impossible for two human beings to actually become one, even if it’s just legally speaking.  So right off the bat, we are setting ourselves up for impossible expectations on marriage.

Next, the suggestion that married couples are partners – this is quite an ambiguous expectation because the next question that comes to mind is, ‘partners in what?  life?  business?  etc?’.  Some might say marriage is a partnership in raising a family, but when there’s children involved, most often the little ones are those who ‘run’ the household and then the partnership dissipates into a board or shareholders meeting.  ‘Partnership’ mostly refers to business relationships, and most of them have well defined contracts that both parties negotiate, then sign, and if not, there’s an understanding that both partners share a common goal at the very least.

If marriage were to be viewed similarly with business partnerships, what’s the common goal? If the goal is to live happily ever after, and your partner is to share the risk and benefit ratio on that, then this, my friends, is the reason why divorce is so common.  No one else can give you a lifetime of happiness but yourself.

There’s a lot more other definitions and expectations about marriage that are more than this blog post can cover, but for the most part, many of us are caught up in expectations of what the husband, wife, or partner must do.  The true essence of marriage and its pure meaning at its core is missing.  When marriage is stripped down of all its expectations in terms of legalities, finances, intimacy, faithfulness, and health, all you’re left with are two individuals who made a promise to simply love each other.

What is true love?

Interestingly, true love is not measured by time or physical limitations, and some wedding vows do clue into this with the phrase ‘until death do us part’.  Also, before one can truly love someone else, they have to love themselves first.  When one gambles all the family’s life savings away or lost everything because of a high or becomes intimate with another person or becomes abusive, those situations make it very difficult to love that same person again.  But the simple promise to continue to love that same person is what marriage entails.  Love, meaning that regardless of the hurt created, such hurt is learnt to be left in the past, withstanding the test of time, and with a strong sense of self-respect and self-love, one can recognize that the hurt was not targeted towards their spouse, but rather, a manifestation of their own lack of self-respect and self-love.

Of course, the degrees to which love can sustain a marriage, especially when it’s only coming from one side, varies significantly and the case for divorce can be justified in each unique scenario.  But for the most part, marriage is a declaration of one’s beloved, and after a certain amount of time with enough damaging storms, sometimes the spouse is no longer the beloved but even becomes an enemy.  When such a point is reached, the marriage needs two things that are most often ignored:  friendship and cooperation.

With friendship, the expectations become much less, the walls start to crumble, and more importantly, the negativity is replaced with small gestures of having fun.  With cooperation, the spouse’s specialties become appreciated and their effort in the small tasks of living day to day with their loved ones are taken with patience and support.

To recap, many of us today are missing three very basic things about marriage, which are love, friendship, and cooperation.  With that said, here’s an alternative definition to marriage:  a recognized love one person has for each other with the values of friendship and cooperation between two people.  With this definition, the emphasis is what kind of love one can bring into the marriage, rather than expecting or demanding what the other person should be doing.  Also, the simplicity of marriage being rooted in friendship and cooperation reminds us how free and easy marriage can really be.

When you’re having a bad day at work, you have a friend at home you can talk to, or when you can’t open a jar lid, you have someone else you can ask to give it a try.  But when your spouse is the one who’s suppose to make your life happy and easier, it’s those subtle but very heavy expectations that take a toll on a marriage.  With friendship and cooperation, everything else will follow smoothly and the fruits of a pure relationship can be experienced.

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Colors can say a lot about our personality. Did you know that color influences perceptions that are not obvious, such as the taste of food. They are also known to influence the effectiveness of placebos. Also, many marketers see color as an important part of marketing because it influences consumers’ emotions and perceptions. Any interior designer will ask you about the way you want to feel in a certain room before starting to decorate it.

Our subconscious will relate more to one color, but that doesn’t mean that is the same trough our entire life. This subconscious choice is influenced by certain experiences and moods.

Take just now this fun, quick quiz to find out what is your true personality color!

What Is Your True Personality Color?
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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate this was!

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We loved, we lost, we loved again and lost again. We love him, we hate him, we love him, we miss him. Oh how we want this to work. There are so many good things about our ex. So many wonderfully beautiful qualities about them. Our hearts are torn. Surely we can make this work, right? Wrong. There are many reasons why you should never go back to your ex but well list only 5 of them here.

When we first meet the person who claim to be the love of our life, at the time, we couldn’t ever imagine a life without them. We have butterflies in our tummy, our hearts are lit afire, our eyes twinkle and sparkle when we see them and there’s a rosy glow in our cheeks. In the first 6 months anyway. Unfortunately, for some, true colours shine through by year 2 and suddenly we want to break free. That’s not always an easy thing to do either. There may be money invested, children may have come into the picture by then and various other things may have come up in that time. We separate anyway.

6 months later, we long to be back in each other’s arms. This truly is just a bad idea. Unless you both have gone through some total life transformation, going back to your ex is never a good plan. Here are 5 reasons why.

1. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Promises often fall flat. They are empty and you’ve heard them all a million times before. She promised this, he promised that. When people sincerely want to change toxic behaviours they will do it, not for you but for themselves.  You can’t change someone either and expect them to behave the way you want them to. It’s up to them to do that. If they aren’t ready to change or eliminate these negative patterns, you can’t control that or force them into that.

2. Annoying habits don’t go away.

Remember that one thing that used to drive you crazy? Maybe there was more than one thing. It would grind on your nerves, all the time. It hasn’t gone away. They still do it, still have that annoying habit. If you go back now you will think it s cute but in 6 months it will drive you crazy again. You are finally free of it now. Don’t go back to that. You’ll be sorry.

3. Where’s the respect?

If respect was one of the issues, and your ex partner hasn’t learned the value of respect yet, you are walking back into the same disrespectful situation. It may be ok for the first little while, the honeymoon phase if you will, but once that has fizzled down, the ugly head of disrespect will show up again. It never left in the first place. It was just a little quiet for awhile.

4. Show’em love.

Remember all the fights you two used to have to endure surrounding family gatherings? You hate her family, she hates yours. They won’t miraculously start loving your family after a break up. This will always be a point of contention. If it hasn’t been dealt with and handled in a responsible and mature manner, that problem will never go away. If you desperately want your ex back, remember and be prepared for the family fights. There will be more again.

5. Trust. She/he broke it.

Not once, not twice, but three times or more. They swear up and down they are so sorry and promise to never lie again. There s that empty false promise again. how many times have they already lied to you? Unless they have done a complete 360-degree turnaround, that lying trait is still there. Even if it isn’t it will take so much effort for you to even try to believe them again and you will spend days, weeks and maybe even months questioning their every move. Are you prepared to live like that?

Always try to keep in mind that when we eliminate one toxic thing in our life, we are opening to receive something good. If you keep going back to the stuff you had before, new and better things will have a hard time getting to you. Forget your ex and embrace the new. You’ll be glad you did.

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Everybody likes music. We are listening to our favourite songs when we are happy, we are listening to them when we are sad. Same goes for when we are working or exercising. Of course the type of music can change according to our disposition, or the task we perform at the moment. Our taste can be influenced by the decade we are born into, or the actual trends, or by our friends.

We link music with the special moments of our lives. The melody that was playing when we first met our significant other, the one at our wedding and so on. Music has curative properties and can change our mood in an instant. If you were to chose a song to define you, what would it be?

Take this quick, fun quiz and find out which song was actually written about you

Which Song Was Actually Written About YOU?
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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate is this and if you like the song!

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It doesn’t have to be January for you to consider that resolution you made last year about getting back to the gym. Just like gift giving (not only reserved for Christmas), getting back into exercise (not only reserved for New Year’s Day) has profound effects on all parts of your life. If your body is unhealthy, your mind and self esteem takes it and transforms it into negative energy. If you feel overweight or out of shape, your confidence will take a direct hit from it and your whole perspective will be jarred. W e are our own worst critics, and in a world of constant comparison we do not need to enforce it any more than it already is.

If going to the gym sounds like a chore of a task, re member that you don’t need to go anywhere to take care of yourself. There are several bodyweight exercises that can be easily googled and done at home, if you can clear out a bit of space and find the motivation. Sometimes exercising at home is the hardest thing to do because we are trying to do new things, in new clothes, in rooms we normally don’t do these things in. It only takes a few times for anything to become routine though, and if you can get past the first bump, you’re on your way to victory.

A kilometer at the gym is better than a kilometer on the couch

You’re always a lap ahead of everyone sitting down

1. Watch exercise videos

This might be out of your usual internet routine, but try to find a few health and fitness blogs or YouTube channels. If nothing can motivate you, these guys surely can. You might find tons of stories of people who went from being terribly unhealthy, to becoming an exercise idol. The first thing they had to do was start. Some internet channels are entertaining, and enjoyable to watch, and others are instructional and informative. Regardless, you will find tons of people who are very good at what they do, and will inspire you to take charge of your health.

2. Challenge your mind

Overcoming the first hurdle is always so difficult. Changing into workout clothes. Deciding what to do. Are you doing is properly? It’s always so easy take a step down and relax. Even my friends who look great have trouble get ting down for a few pushups. How are you supposed to do it? Remember that nothing comes for free. Quitting smoking doesn’t happen in one day and neither does taking care of your health. If you have an idea, grow it. If you have just an inclination, it’s something. Have patience and evolve with your mind. Who knows where your ideas will take you.

3. Charge your self esteem

People who exercise have more energy and therefore tend to be more confident people. They are on the right track to living longer, healthier lives, and possibly get to look better and have better control of their self esteem in the process. They say if you are looking for something, you will find it easier. Throughout the day, take note of healthy looking people and unhealthy looking people. Notice the trends in success, happiness, and gait. Who looks better to you and others? Finally, which category do you want to put yourself in. Mold your life and don’t be afraid to go after what you want.

4. Challenge apathy

Everyday you have two choices; continue to sleep with your d reams, or wake up and chase them

In this, our only life to live, we have two choices to make, as I’ve outlined above. We should all live a spectacular and momentous life, but it sure is a lot of work to do that! Find a way to be humble and adventurous. Where most of us live a 9 to 5 life, stand out from the crowd by keeping up with your health. Exercise and sweat a little each day and as your body and mind grow stronger, see where your spirit will take you after you’ve engaged it. Challenge the status quo of being a couch potato; don’t watch sports, do them; buy new shoes and take them for a run – and see where your feet will take you.

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Different people react differently to the same stimulus. Those reactions are based on our life experiences and our education, and I don’t mean here formal education. it’s more about the values that we share with our peers. Based on this values we can talk about the British calm, or the French savoir-vivre, or the Japanese politeness.

But you, how do you react? Are your reactions matching your nationality? Or your temperament is saying a different story than your passport?

Take this fun quiz just now to find out what nationality your temperament belong to

What Nationality Does Your Temperament Belong To?

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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate do you think this quiz is!

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Dear John; I love you, good bye. Dear Sally; you’re a good mom to our kids but it’s time for me to move on, good bye.

Ouch. No one wants to get this letter (especially not Sally/John). It’s the I’m leaving you letter. It sucks and can often be devastating. Very devastating. We want to make sense of this. Where did you go wrong? What happened? What on earth did you miss? You were sure things were going very well. She seemed happy. What the hell is the matter with her?

So many questions and, yes, there are answers to all of these. Not the ones you are expecting though. Many people who write their goodbye letters aren’t spilling the whole truth. In conversation later, they will assure you that it’s not you, it’s them. Only part of that is true.

Here are some other reasons we leave our partners and that we really don’t want to confess to.

1. You really don’t turn me on anymore.

Really. Who wants to actually admit to this anyway. You can’t possibly tell your partner this because it would truly hurt their fee lings. So you come up with other excuses all of which have nothing to do with sex or attraction, whatsoever. Plain and simple, you want sex and intimacy, just not with them anymore. And that’s ok.

2. You’re really not who you say you are.

This person is the modern day version of Jekyll and Hyde. When they are good, they are awesome, when they are bad you hide (pardon the pun) in the closet. This person is a lunatic and you simply didn’t see it at first. Most of us don’t show our true personalities until well past the first impression/honeymoon phase. You tell them, it’s just not working, pack your toothbrush and run home.

3. Can I have your attention please?

Can you just please put the book/remote control/your iPad or iPhone down for one minute and give me some attention please? Let’s face it. We all want some attention to a degree. We don’t necessarily be attached to your hip 24/7 but we, at the very least, would like to acknowledged in some way shape or form. Do you even know I’m here? Attention sometimes mean affection. We require a little bit of it. It really is nice to have. If you aren’t giving us enough, we’re packing it in. I mean, if the butcher is showing me more attention than you, and I’m loving it, then there’s a problem.

4. Another family gathering?

I really don’t like your family. I can’t tell you that. Not only would it be rude, it’s also mean and hurtful. That’s your family and you love them. You want to hang with them every weekend and that’s great. I don’t and I really don’t like them. I also don’t like half your friends. Whenever you tell me we’re going to so and so’s house, again, I want to cringe. I can’t do it anymore.

5. I really don’t like you.

When we first hooked up you really were a fun person and it seemed like we had a lot in common. Fact is, you’re a bit of an arse and I really don’t like your personality. I like to be positive and upbeat, you judge everyone at the drop of a dime and always have something to complain about. You just aren’t a nice person or not a nice person for me. Everything you believe in and talk about challenges and goes against all the things I value and believe in. How I did not see this in the beginning is beyond me.

6. Time to fly.

I told you I wanted to travel and go see places. You said, yes sure. One year later you are telling me no. We can watch the discovery channel together or take little road trips. It seems I am more free spirited than I originally thought I was, and you are just a liar. You assured me that travel would happen and now you are telling me no. What else have you lied about? Actually, I really just don’t believe anything you tell me anymore. I think you might even be a compulsive liar. I can’t tell you that though. You won’t agree and will lie to make me believe something else.

Some of these things are simply hurtful and having to come out with the absolute truth almost makes us look evil and insensitive. So we put a Band-Aid on our separation and say: no, it’s really me, it’s not you. And we leave and we’re free from you. Obviously there are a million reasons why we leave partners, it’s just that sometimes making up a reason why we’re leaving is easier and nicer than speaking the honest to God truth.

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