“Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe the one reason that it will.” – Unknown.

Better late than never

I had just turned 43 when I approached a woman for the first time and asked her out.  Every girlfriend I had and every date I’d gone on before that the woman had asked me out.   “What’s your secret, man? I wish I had things that easy,” I hear you saying.   There’s no secret, man.  And as you about to find out it definitely wasn’t as glamorous as it sounds…then.

I’m a good looking guy.  I’m what you would call tall, dark and handsome.  I encounter very few obstacles attracting the attention of beautiful women. Up until just recently, that’s all I did.  The old me was too shy to approach a woman, even when her interest in me was as subtle as a sledgehammer!

My struggle with shyness and the lie I believed

I’m not sure what had caused my shyness as I was always outgoing growing up.   It was nothing for me to make new friends or fit in as they say.  Maybe my shyness developed in my late teens.  It was around this time that my mother’s dislike for the world and everyone in it reached new heights.  I recall her telling me that most people are “evil” and all women are “hussies.”

Maybe my shyness stemmed from always having my mates ask a girl out for me.  I always wanted to ask the girl out, but it wasn’t the done thing.  Every guy, it seemed, had their mates ask the girl out on their behalf, so I just followed suit.   Going against the grain as a teenager, as most of us can relate, isn’t always a good thing, especially in social situations.

Wherever it came from my shyness became so intense it had a negative impact on all areas of my life, not just with women and relationships.  I found it hard to speak up at work and in meetings and when I did I would have a panic attack and beat myself up afterwards. “You idiot! Why did you say something? You didn’t have to. Everyone could tell how nervous you were,” and on and on it would go.  I avoided conflict, or should I say, ran away from it, struggled with  every type of social interaction, even with family, and made excuses not to attend social gatherings like parties, BBQs, and even just hanging out with friends.  As a result I stopped getting invites and became lonely, depressed and withdrawn.  I didn’t want to live like this so I took the first step and spoke to my GP about it. It was clear I needed specialist help so he referred me on to a mental health professional.  It took some time but I managed to get to a point where I could interact with people and go to social gatherings without feeling tense in the body and wanting to leave straight away.

There was still no way in hell I could ask a woman out, however, so I continued the pattern of having my mates ask women out on my behalf.  By this time most of the women had outgrown this type of ‘courting,’ so opportunities became less and less.  “Oh, well”, I thought.  “If a woman likes me she can ask me out.”

I spent a few years single, which is hard at any age, let alone when you’re in early twenties and in the prime of your life sexually.   I would never admit at the time but I became desperate.  I was willing to accept anyone who showed interest in me and so I did.  I spent eight years of my life in an unhealthy relationship with a woman I wasn’t attracted too on any level.   I broke up with her having found out she had cheated on me.

I spent many more years alone after this because I struggled getting over the relationship, despite it being emotionally and spiritually crippling, and because I still bought into the lies that women I am interested in will approach me.

Never happened.

What did happen was history repeated itself.   I got into a three year relationship with a woman I wasn’t attracted too because I was desperate.  And yep, you guessed it, I broke up with her having found out she had cheated on me.

Worse, I still believed the lies that a woman I’m interested in will approach me.  I kept telling myself “You’ve had two really bad relationships and spent many years in a ‘dry spell,’ but you will meet ‘the one’ and it will just happen.”

Never happened.

I hooked up with another woman who I wasn’t attracted too.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  She did have a sexy body and she was definitely an upgrade on my previous relationships.  But she obsessed over me and would call or text me day and night and even ‘creep on me.’

I’m not kidding.

I would catch her sometimes outside my house waiting for me to leave and then she would follow me to wherever I was going.  She would bump into me and say “Imagine seeing you here,” or something similar.  I’d learned from my previous bad relationships and ended this one before it got way out of hand.

I continued going out to meet women, but was still too shy to approach the ones I was interested in.  And even though by now I had learned that they wouldn’t approach me, I still hoped they would.

Never happened.

On New Year’s Eve 2014 a woman I wasn’t attracted to approached me. I showed no interest in her but she kept persisting.  Her persistence paid off because in the early hours of 2015 I started to believe there might be something between us.  I remember her giving me a kiss good-bye and me breaking out in a cold sweat.  “Crap,” I thought. “She hasn’t asked me out. I’ve gotta do something here.”
“Hey, it was nice meeting you tonight,” I told her.  “I’ll send you a message on Facebook.”

Yep, I asked for her out via a Facebook message.

A few days later she sent me a message saying that she was too busy for any kind of relationship and that she just wants to be friends.
Because of my shyness I got put in the friend zone by a woman I convinced myself I was attracted to.

“That’s it,” I told myself. “Enough is enough.”

When the student is ready the teacher will appear

For the first time in my dating life I took responsibility for my actions and short comings. I made a commitment to myself to do whatever it takes to change things. I started devouring everything I could on becoming better with women and relationships and being my best version.  A lot of the stuff I came across in the beginning I thought was good advice, but the more I put it into practice, the more I learned that it was not.  Regardless, it got me out there approaching women for the first time in my life, so that in itself was a good thing.

I didn’t stop researching and testing out advice from dating and relationship ‘gurus’ and had mixed results.  Much of the information I found centred on ‘one night stands’ and ‘pick up’ routines.  This type of interaction served me for a little while, but I wanted more than that. I wanted to be able to approach women from a place of authenticity, honesty and vulnerability.  I wanted an incredible relationship with an amazing woman who knocked my socks off and vice versa.

While I looked for help and guidance in this area I kept approaching women and putting myself out there.  I learned a lot about women myself just from doing this and as a bonus I was becoming less and less shy around them.

Seek and ye shall find; ask and ye shall receive

My efforts paid off when I found the advice I was looking for. I stumbled upon experienced and highly skilled coaches who I could relate to because they had shared similar experiences to my own.  From their recommendations, asking questions, and my own research I found the resources to help me on my journey.  Out of all them Till. Gross’s Comfort Zone Crusher Challenge course helped me the most.  This is a series of social challenges that help you become confident, build up your self-esteem and develop a healthy relationship with fear by intentionally putting yourself in embarrassing or awkward situations.  Some of the challenges involved howling like a wolf in public, lying down on a busy sidewalk, asking a stranger for a sip of their drink and asking an attractive stranger for their number.

I did these challenges over and over and in under a year I’d gone from being shy, limited and held back to confident, bold and out-going.  I approach women I am interested in all the time now and they approach me.  Some even buy me drinks!  My dating life and life in general has gone full circle and is the way it was always meant to be: abundant, exciting, meaningful, fun, effortless.
But the best thing to come out of this is using my experiences to help others break free from being shy, limited and held back.

Have you or someone you know turned their life around late in life?  Have you ever been held back from shyness and self –doubt? If so, in what way? How did you break free?

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Do you describe yourself as strong willed, powerful or assertive? Do you consider yourself a leader, or knowledgeable in your field?

Then why is it that despite how strong we are, sometimes it is so hard for us to open up to others?

To some people, it is an act of defiance or strength. Many people shy away from discussing their issues with others because they do not want to look weak. Or it could be an issue of pride – refusing to talk to others about their problems because they are worried that they will look vulnerable, when they feel that their role should be to always seem strong and confident.

Especially with the latter group of people, this is an unfortunate problem because of course we cannot be strong and powerful all the time. Even those at the proverbial top need to have some reassurance and downtime when they need it. The problem for them is that they are too bottled up with their perception of their role as a leader that they have no way to turn it off when they need help; and when they finally fall, they have the hardest time finding a way to talk.

Some people are just too shy. We either don’t want to bother or burden others with our issues, or feel they are too insignificant to raise awareness about. All of these are just mind-crafted insecurities. If anything is ever an issue on your mind, it is of course worth discussion and there is no doubt millions of other people who are thinking the same thing.

Whether you put yourself in column A, B or C, here are a couple of ways to help yourself open up to others.

1. Decide on what the matter is

Before you feel like you need to talk to someone, see what you can discover about yourself first. I know this is a bit unprogressive because usually when people have something bothering them what happens is they in fact think too much and end up wracking their brain to destruction. However that is because your brain on anxiety is like a speeding train that can’t stay on the track. If you actually take the time to sit down, write everything out and actually discuss it with yourself, you may come to a few conclusions before you go racing into a social situation with your tragedies.

2. Find someone you absolutely trust to talk to

The main problem with being unable to talk about your issues is simply not having the right person to talk to. Not all of us have a parents nearby we can talk with, or a trustworthy friend who immediately has time for us. But they are they, and it might be someone you would never expect. Sometimes someone we don’t know as a good friend appears at the right time, and through a good heart-to-heart ends up becoming a good friend.

Undoubtedly however, you do have a good friend out there somewhere – and it’s OK to open up to them. It can even start as easy as explaining to them that you are nervous to talk about something, and go from there. People react positively when they are asked for helped, and if you go to someone while in a state of emotional despairity, they will think that you feel trustworthy of them, and they will reciprocate by giving you their time and attention.

3. Talk to someone anonymous

Anonymous helplines exist for a reason. When we are down and out it takes courage but it often feels much better to talk to someone who you don’t even know. It doesn’t even mean using a helpline. Perhaps you could talk to someone at work, or an acquaintance that you don’t usually connect with. Choose someone who has a good reputation and you think can respect confidentiality. It is refreshing for two people to bond over something unexpected, such as the need for advice.

If calling a helpline seems like a viable solution, remember that you may not get the personal response back that you would from a friend, but you do get the satisfaction of getting something off your chest with full anonymity, and the reply of a completely unbiased 3rd party. It’s a hard step to take, but it is there.

4. Be ready to accept assistance

The first step really is accepting that you need some help at all. We are oftentimes so stubborn and short minded that we feel like we have to take on all struggles and responsibilities on our own. The fact is, we don’t. We all have our own security needs and circles that can help us sort out our problems – friends, family or acquaintances.

If you open up once it will be easier to do it the next time and again and again. It will help you live your life with comfort and peace of mind, knowing that there are always people out there that can help you. It is an honest way to live and even binds people and develops new friendships. People always bond over feelings – when one person is in need, someone else will be happy to answer the call and be there; it’s in our nature.

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It is said that men and women think differently, but we have to admit that things are not that simple.

This is not a scientific test, but it is fun, and in the process we might find some things about ourselves.

Let’s see how you brain works. Take just now this quick and easy quiz and find out if you brain is more female or male!

Is Your Brain More Female or Male?

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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate was this quiz!

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“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”   ~ Mark Twain ~

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to spend a lot of time around someone that doesn’t have a sense of humor? It feels  like there is a certain amount of tension happening and you likely have the urge to get out of this person’s company as soon as possible.  The same thing holds true for a humorless workplace. Not only is it a place where we don’t want to be, it is not the most productive environment.  There are widely held beliefs that humor not only makes a work environment a healthier, happier place to work but also a more productive one.

Recognizing the importance of humor to a healthy, productive workplace, many organizations are keeping people like Michael Kerr, humorist, speaker and author, busy travelling around the globe leading the way to assist people to laugh.

Here are 7 reasons that humor at work could have you laughing all the way to the bank.

It’s a Great Stress Buster

Humour is a great antidote to excessive stress build up. There is nothing like a good laugh to help us relax and see the lighter side of things.  Not only does humour increase our own stress, it is contagious and helps others release their stress. Workplaces in which humour is encouraged, are more relaxed places than those who try to take on a more serious tone.
Motivates and Builds Morale

One of the best and most effective ways to build up a positive, motivational atmosphere in the workplace is to encourage the use of humour.  It is so much easier to show up to work when you know there will be fun and laughter rather than to go into a somber, dull and serious place.  Laughter goes a long way towards our motivation to give our best for the organization.

Builds Stronger Relationships

It is much easier to approach someone who has a strong sense of humor and have shared a laugh with previously.  We feel more relaxed and confident around that person.  The fear of making a mistake and being judged diminishes and we feel more open and willing to share.  When we have a workplace full of people who are comfortable with one another, decision making becomes easier and less stressful.

A Great Way of Showing Appreciation

In humorless workplaces, even showing appreciation can be a stressful event.  A great approach to show appreciation for someone is to add humor to the situation.  This is why “roasts” are a popular way to give someone a sendoff or to honor them.  Some people have a difficult time displaying emotions and affection, therefore humor becomes a vehicle to exhibit how someone has deeply impacted them.

Builds Stronger Teams

In order to build strong teams, we need to break down barriers that cause people to be suspicious and fearful of one another.  Humor gives us a relatively easy and effective way to share and build up strong lasting bonds between people. Any team that is able to enjoy a good laugh together is one that is well on the way to developing a strong, positive working relationship.

Good for our Health

“Laughter is the best medicine” is more than just a cute saying. There are studies showing the people who have a strong sense of humor experience less illness and recover quicker when they do become ill.  In our body’s, laughter reduces the serum cortical, a hormone released when experiencing stress, and triggers the release of endorphins; and the body’s feel good chemicals. A good bout of laughter can release tension and leave muscles relaxed for quite some time afterwards.  It also increases blood flow, decreasing chances of having heart and other cardiovascular problems.

Helps Create Smoother Changes and Transitions

Change and transition naturally evoke feelings of uncertainly and discomfort.  This means stepping out of our comfort zone, which aids experiencing a certain amount of anxiety.  Humor helps to lubricate and make those changes easier as it takes our mind off of the “if’s” and focusing on the worst case scenarios. Humor avails us to connect with colleagues and forms a bond and buffer that eases some of the uncertainty and fears of moving forward. It helps us rise above our worries and assists us to see a lighter, brighter side of a situation.

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Habits shape our lives in profound ways. They’re the things that take over when we get up in the morning, groggy-eyed and brain dead, and send us through our rote morning routine. They allow us to complete our everyday tasks at work, things we do over and over, without too much mental effort, so we can devote our precious mental bandwidth to more important tasks.

Good habits are wonderful things to cultivate. Some people are naturally in the habit of thinking positively, which is incredibly beneficial to one’s mental health. And some people are in the habit of warmly engaging with strangers and acquaintances, which opens the door to many enriching social and networking opportunities for that person.

But wherever there is good, an evil mirror-image lurks behind it. Bad habits are roadblocks on your way to a more positive life. They are as destructive to your personal growth as good habits are positive. While no one can be perfect, we should all strive every day to be better people—and a good starting place is to endeavor to break yourself of bad habits.

Below are four bad habits that stand in your way to a better life. If you suffer from any of these afflictions, I encourage you to begin to work on curing yourself of them.

Relying on yourself to solve all your problems

The habit

You rely on only yourself to deal with the problems life throws at you. You don’t believe anyone else has ever dealt with a similar problem, or—worse yet—you believe you’re the smartest person who ever lived and no one else has advice worth your time. The problems you have are best kept to yourself, you think. It’s best if I just deal with this, I don’t want to worry anyone else.

How to begin fixing it

You should start by learning to better communicate with your friends, coworkers, and loved ones. No one has ever benefited from keeping a secret problem all to yourself. Your friends and family might possess an insight about your personality that will help you solve your problem. At the very least, communicating with others about one of your struggles is a huge relief and will help you feel less stressed about your situation.

Another thing to consider is hiring a life coach. This might seem like a radical step to take, but a life coach can give you an invaluable outsider’s perspective on your life and habits. They’re trained to give you unbiased, unfiltered advice about the habits in your life that are holding you back.

Checking your devices too often

The habit

You get out of the bed in the morning and the first thing you do is unlock your phone to start the slow drip of stimulation that will persist throughout the day. Before you begin work on your important projects at work, you get distracted by all your unread emails in your inbox—and you incessantly keep checking your inbox throughout the day. You open up your smartphone 200 times a day (the national average for Americans, scarily enough.) Before you shut your eyes before bed, the last thing you see is your smartphone’s screen.

How to begin fixing it

This is a tough one. Smartphones and social media platforms were designed to steal away as much of our attentions as they can. While an iPhone is a powerful tool to help us organize our lives, it does a lot of harm by distracting us from the things we find most important.

The easiest way to begin breaking this terrible habit is by putting yourself in situations where you won’t be tempted to check your smartphone or refresh your inbox. Leave your smartphone at home while you go for a walk, or physically power it down when you need to complete an important task. You might also consider scheduling a block on your email during certain hours of the day (you’re able to do this in Microsoft Outlook and most email apps.) You won’t receive any emails during that time, so you can focus, distraction-free, on more important matters.

Not meditating regularly

The habit

You go through your day with distracted thoughts flitting through your head. You are unmindful of your present moment. You believe you’re too busy to meditate during your daily schedule.

How to begin fixing it

The benefits of meditation are beyond dispute. Study after study has shown how meditation makes you less stressed and generally happier. The crux of the matter is just finding the time in your schedule to start a regular meditation practice.

One thing I’ve found helpful is to meditate as soon as I wake up in the morning. I set out my meditation pillow next to my bed before I go to sleep, to remind myself of my intention to meditate that morning. I also set my alarm to go off 15 minutes earlier than I normally would, to ensure I have enough time to get ready in the morning.

Staying up too late

The habit

You wake up feeling tired and groggy in the morning. You think to yourself, I shouldn’t have gone to bed so late last night. What was I thinking? You struggle to remain alert throughout the day, and resolve to go to bed early tonight. But when the evening rolls around, you stay up late in your bed watching Netflix well past the time when you should have gone to sleep.

How to begin fixing it

There are a few components to good sleep that most sleep experts agree everyone should follow—what is now called “sleep hygiene”:

Make sure your bedroom is dark and quiet throughout the night

Get on a regular sleep schedule, so you’re not sleeping in until noon on weekends and waking up at 5am on weekdays. Your body just can’t adjust to that irregular of a schedule

Don’t look at your TV, laptop, or smartphone one hour before bed. The blue light of the screen can disrupt your circadian rhythms

If you’re getting poor sleep, you need to work on fixing these three things. To begin, you should focus on just one at a time. Get in the habit of going to bed at a regular time, then focus on not watching devices before bed, for instance. Pretty soon, you will have great sleep hygiene and feel well-rested throughout the day.

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Motivation comes in all shapes and sizes, from Facebook posters to Youtube channels, meditative chants and simple exercise. Perhaps just a little walk around the block is a nice thing to do to get the blood flowing! Sometimes our favourite motivators and techniques grow habitual for us and don’t quite get the same response out of us. Here a few things you can do at home and work to give yourself an extra boost during the day if you’re just feeling a bit low.

1. Reflect on your favourite parts of you

If you’re struggling to find incentive, look no farther than the mirror. One of the best things you can do to give yourself a boost is taking a moment to highlight and reflect on your best qualities, or the ones that you like the most. If it seems a bit narcissistic to you, that’s ok – you deserve to respect yourself just as much as you respect others. Maybe you’re really good at doing your makeup; your eyebrows, lipstick, or hair. Admire your work and give yourself a boost. Do people always tell you that you have a great smile? Spend a few minutes smiling in the mirror and see what other people see. Oh maybe it sounds silly, but go ahead! Smiling is good for the soul.

If you can find little things that you like about yourself and get excited about it, it’s a great way to give your day a boost. Feel more energized with the confidence of knowing you look great.

2. Today is going to be awesome!

Start this from the minute you wake up. Roll over, do not pick up your phone to check it – it will distract you from your energy. Start playing this over and over in your head until it becomes automatic – today will be awesome! Don’t worry about how silly you feel about it, because I guarantee you there are thousands of other people queuing the same mantra as you. Why? Because it works. Because we, as people, are impressionable and convincing. We want to be soothed and relieved, and we can do it on our own if we must. You can easily convince yourself that today is going to be great, all it takes is a bit of motion to get the ball rolling.

3. Have an incredible meal

If you don’t have the supplies in your house now to make yourself a great breakfast or lunch, then save it ‘til next time, when you pick up some more groceries. If you can concoct a mindblowing meal for yourself and/or your family, you’re going to feel great. Not only are you eating well, you are demonstrating your talents and capabilities and possibly discovering your new talents in the kitchen. What an impressive and delicious way to give yourself some motivation (you can do the dishes after)!

4. Play loud music and exercise at home

Here’s one that seems just impossible to start, but has great finishing rewards. I know you’re not used to getting sweaty at home (and you don’t have to), and you’re not used to looking at the floor as a push-up board (and you don’t have to), but doing a few exercises at home is a great way to get your blood flowing for the day and make you feel like you’re doing something good for yourself at the same time.

The hardest part about exercising at home is that it is very much out of our normal “household” routine, and we feel like we don’t even have room for it. But all you have to do is boot up a quick at-home workout Youtube video, or download any array of home workout apps. I have friends that use the app and exercise for 10 minutes a day now before they leave the house. They tell me that they feel completely rejuvenated – it truly works for everybody!

5. Have a laugh

Try to spend some time throughout the day with a good friend or workmate who can really get a good laugh out of you. Sharing some good memories and laughs together will get you in a great mood and give you something to remember and reflect on for the rest of the day. When we laugh and have fun, we feel good, we feel proud. It reminds us that we have a good life and good friends, and that’s great motivation.

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The Law of Attraction (LOA) is quite simple; like energy attracts like energy. Since this is a universal law, it affects all matter in the universe, including all people.  This energy is basically everything, yes every single thing.  All living things have an energy vibration and even inanimate objects absorb energy; ever walk into someone’s home and felt an inexplicable and tense coldness?  Or a sincere welcoming warmth? That’s the energy of the space.

In essence, it is the energy vibration that resonates with other like energy vibrations; high vibrating energy resonates with other high vibrating energy and vice versa.  It’s the vibration of energy that creates the “attraction” in the Law of Attraction; and the nature of energy vibrations is either high or low.  Every person has an energy vibration.  The foundation for our individual energy vibration is self-love; it all starts within and that sets the tone for our personal vibration.  Typically, people with a high vibration tend to take excellent care of their bodies, their health (physical and emotional) and their well-being and their needs/wants; all positive acts of self-care and love.  And people with low vibrating energy neglect some aspect(s) of self-care and/or self-love.

Other factors that contribute to our personal energy vibration are our thoughts, words, beliefs (conscious and subconscious), behavior, habits, what we expose ourselves to (people, entertainment, work, etc..) and whatever we put in on or around our bodies (food, personal care items, household cleaners, the environment, etc…).  All of these things also have a vibration that can either enhance our own high vibration or it can drag it down to a lower vibration.

Learning about and understanding the Law of Attraction is exciting, but it can also be daunting.  It seems like a simple concept, like energy attracts like energy, but when you start to fully understand that EVERYTHING is energy, you can get a bit overwhelmed trying to focus and create the vibration that matches what you want to manifest in your life.  It can get so complicated, that many people just give up or never gain the understanding needed to step into their own power.  But it doesn’t have to be this way at all.

The Law of Attraction can be fun.  You learn more about it by seeing it in action, which improves your self-confidence tremendously.  There are simple tools that will teach you more about the LOA than any book ever could.  If you happen to be a parent, you can share these experiments with your kids, make it a family project, and teach them from a young age that they create their lives!  I have seen the way my own children have embraced these ideas and have used LOA techniques to help achieve their own goals; from my son getting a lead role in the school musical to my daughter getting an offer to play soccer in college and more.

This information will not only empower you to take responsibility for the energy you bring to every situation, it will also deepen your own awareness of it.  Learning about the LOA in this manner, seeing it in action from your conscious choices, creates the possibility for a happier and more fulfilling future; filled with endless possibilities to create amazing opportunities and countless ways to change and cope when circumstances are unpleasant.

Here are 6 tools and experiments to see the Law of Attraction in action:

1. The Purple Car Experiment.

This is a fun way to physically demonstrate that our thoughts do indeed become things.  Think of using the LOA like creating a painting.  You start with a blank canvas and, instead of paint creating your picture, your thoughts, words, beliefs and vibration does.  For this experiment, we will focus on our thoughts and words, which combine to make an intention.  State the intention that you would like to see a purple car (“show me a purple car please”); a rare color for vehicles, making this experiment meaningful.  To add extra energy, you can ask the universe or your angels (or whatever makes you feel comfortable) to help show you a purple car as soon as possible.  Try it for yourself first, it is really amazing when you see that first purple car (which can appear anywhere so,Pay,attention, I had a client see it in a Facebook pic within minutes of asking).  My family loves doing this and it’s kind of fun on long trips!  You can try this with other color cars too.

2. Energy Hands.

Since the LOA is about energy, it makes sense to understand there is energy within us and all around us.  This technique will allow you to actually feel energy; coming from your own vibration.  Rub your hands together several times, keeping them straight with fingers lined up (no space in between).  After 4-5 times of up and down rubbing, say “energy flow” and pull your hands 1-2 inches apart, palms facing each other.  You will fell any of the following; tingling, pulsing, heat, warmth, or all of the above.  This is energy; you are energy.

3. The Gift.

The LOA responds to energy.  Intentions and words have energy; once you know what you want and you state it, the universe conspires on your behalf through the LOA.  This experiment is going to involve a timeframe to demonstrate that when you have an immediate need, the LOA works just as well as it does with longer term goals; you are always manifesting!  Ask the universe for a gift within the next 24 hours.  That’s it.  Pay attention, because your gift might be subtle.  I did this experiment for the first time when I was on a very crowded and very delayed flight.  Right after I stated the intention, I ordered a glass of wine from the flight attendant and when I went to hand her my card to pay, she said “don’t worry, it’s a gift”.  I was amazed!  My gift came within almost an instance.  Now, whenever I am in a funk, I ask the universe for a gift to lift my spirits and I’ve received lots of fun surprises!

4. A Vision Board.

When you make your goals visible, you begin to attract energy in your favor to create them.  Once you decide what you want to create, and put intention behind it, the universe will conspire on your behalf; your vibration must also be a match to the opportunities and a vision board helps that as well.  A vision board is a visual representation of what you want to create in your life.  It can be on a poster board, large piece of paper, a bulletin board, a wall, Pinterest, or whatever medium you chose to express what’s in your heart.  Use images and words to create your story and than keep place it somewhere you will connect with it frequently (my primary one is next to my bathroom mirror, but I also have many vision boards on Pinterest).  To take it further, your entire bedroom (or home) can be a vision board.  Choose pictures, artwork, posters and decorative items that represent what you love, what you want to create (I have many beach items in my home because I want a beach house) and what makes you feel good.  For example, my son is an actor and he has a bulletin board with programs from every play or musical he’s ever done, along with posters of Broadway musicals that inspire him.  Get focused on the vision, get creative, have fun and the results will come.

5. An Intentions Box.

Words are magical (that’s why it’s called spell-ing).  Writing about our intentions puts a ton of focus and positive energy behind them; plus, it is a great compliment to a Vision board.  Start with a box that is visually meaningful; you can repurpose one, buy one or make one (a great project for families).  Next, neatly write your intentions on individual slips of post-it sized paper.  These intentions can be anything; self-improvement goals, material items, business/career goals, projects and so on.  Be sure to use only positive words (avoid negative ones like not or no, etc) and at the end of each intention, write something similar to the following phrase, “this or something better, God or Universe”.  This statement leaves the door open for unlimited and unexpected opportunities to come your way.  I like to update this box every few months during the new moon, which has the energy of creativity and manifesting.  It’s fun to see what you have been able to create and think of new ideas to add (same goes for a Vision Board).

6. A Gratitude Jar.

Gratitude is very high vibrating energy; it is aligned with love, joy and peace.  When we are grateful for what we currently have, who we currently are and our current reality; we raise our vibration and become a match for creation on every level.  A gratitude jar is a spiritual practice, it is a way to consciously express thankfulness every day.  Start with a large jar and label it “gratitude” or something similar; you can also decorate the jar.  Each day, on a small piece of paper, write something you are thankful for from that particular day or moment. This is a great for an individual or a family to do together.  When the jar is full, review all you have been thankful for and start again (you can do this part monthly).  This practice will change your life, aligning you with positive energy and changing your perspective to one of sincere and unending appreciation; it’s honestly one of the most important things we can do and it ignites the LOA.

These six tools and experiments are not only fun, they create a more meaningful life.  The manifesting tools of a vision board, intentions box and gratitude jar combine to create a great spiritual practice for maintaining a higher vibration.  Learning about the LOA doesn’t have to be complicated or boring.  There is a great book by Pam Grout called “E2 (squared), Nine Do-it-yourself Energy Experiments”, which offers more ways to see the LOA and energy in action for yourself.  This book is a great and easy place to start learning about the LOA or explore a new perspective of it (you can even share the information with your kids).Happy manifesting!

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“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain

When we think about why we do what we do, it sometimes scares us or makes us feel uncomfortable. We may think, I’m not Mother Teresa or Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela with a grand sense of Purpose. That’s okay. You and I are not expected or required to have a magnificent Purpose statement. We simply need to understand our Purpose, big or small, own it and live it.

Purpose is a very personal thing – it’s why you do the things you do, whether at work, home or in your community. It’s the ultimate driving motivator for you. Purpose provides clarity, meaning and direction and is your constant around everything you have done and will do. This doesn’t mean that your Purpose is the same throughout life; a common misconception about Purpose is that it is just one definitive thing. It isn’t. Purpose can take many different forms – some people may be finding their Purpose for the first time while others may be re-Purposing. Let me provide an example. Remember when you were in college and you were trying to figure out what you wanted to do and why you want do it? To answer those questions, you were thinking about your Purpose possibly for the first time. As we go through life, major events change our perception and how we view ourselves in the world. When kids leave the nest house, parents feel alone at home or when we are on the verge of retirement, we may ask ourselves, what is my Purpose now? As life changes and events occur, your Purpose may take another form or iteration. Allow yourself to explore that and understand how you can live out your Purpose in your current reality.

So how does one find their Purpose?

We’ve already given you the definition of Purpose but haven’t provided the background on how to get there. In order to understand your Purpose, we suggest thinking about what we at GenIN Solutions have identified to be the three core elements of Purpose:

Passions – Understanding what makes you excited and gives you energy
To understand your Passions, ask yourself, what are the things I do that make me lose track of time?
Gifts – Understanding your unique strengths and talents
To understand your Gifts, ask yourself, what do I get complimented on often?
Values – Understanding your guiding principles
To understand your Values, ask yourself, when faced with tough decisions, what factors do I consider to make the decision?

Passions, gifts and values all work together to inform your Purpose and help you live your Purpose. When looking at it individually, passions fuel your Purpose, gifts support your Purpose and your values guide your Purpose.

By articulating these three elements, you can begin to derive at your Purpose. This Purpose should be a narrative that’s unique to you, informed by your strengths, your passions and your values. Purpose doesn’t have to be only one thing – it can be divided into Purpose at work and home. Let it be simple, let it be unique to you; there is no wrong or right Purpose, as long as it connects with you and what you want your life to be about.

When you define your Purpose, you’ll find that you are more engaged at work, you have a greater sense of meaningand fulfillment both in life and at work. The Purpose movement is real – we are shifting from doing what society says we should do to finding our own path and creating our own map to get there. We urge you find your Purpose, own it, and live it.

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Have you ever sat around with a coffee at a cafe, noticing all the well dressed people walking around town? You could be wearing your Sunday best too, but there is a certain type of people that just easily stand out from the crowd. It could be their polished shoes, straight blazers or new haircuts, or could be none of those things – it could just be the way they walk!

Someone’s whole image can be defined by the way they display their confidence in their step. Showing confidence is the best way to secure new jobs and make great first impressions. Studies have shown that strong confidence is the key to success in almost every type of positive social interactions. Take a look at some of the easy things you can do to show more confidence throughout the day.

1. Straighten your posture with this easy trick

People react to good posture positively, so the first thing you can do to put the oompf back in your step, is to correct your posture immediately. We admire people who have good posture because when we see adults with poor posture we believe it is still a sign that they have not overcome issues from when they were younger. People develop their posture while they are young, and we are all familiar with the image of a slouching teenager. Maybe we’ve all been!

Adults with good posture are somehow admirable to us because they have overcome the little things and taken charge of life. A trick that soldiers use in the army to remind their body to keep their back straight is to walk with your thumbs pointed forward. It seems silly, but it works! Are you trying it now? It’s a little body trick that helps erect your back, and no one will notice how silly look since you can do it incognito.

2. Walk into the room with a smile

One of the greatest tips I learned at a young age to differentiate myself from other people was to always walk into a room with a smile. This separates you from all the other individuals that people see. You look approachable, friendly and inviting.

Whenever I’m about to enter a room, I think of something funny to myself – anything silly from the day or maybe a little joke I saw on the internet earlier. It aims to throw a quick smile on my face (whether or not I’m having a good day), and is easy to throw aside in your head after you’ve started chatting with others. Because with a smile like yours, everyone will be wanting to talk with you!

3. Find your best look

It helps to be confident if we feel confident about ourselves. If you’re about to do something with some people, or want to be seen in public, go with what looks best for you – leave the experimentation at home. Alternatively, if you’re comfortable with your appearance, try to do something a little different for once; the new you might make you feel particularly snazzy! (Just try not to think about it all day when you’re out!)

4. Leave the worries at home

People can tell when you’re upset. It could be the “I’m fine,” (we all know what that means), or just an unconscious thinking face, but they can see. If you want to look confidence, please leave your thoughts at home. Focus on the moment of the day you are in now and enjoy it the most you can. Worrying does not fix the past or future, but it does stop you from enjoying the present.

5. Own the day!

You’re out, you’re about, you’re with people. Take the day! If you have to continuously remind yourself to smile and look up, do it. It works. If you have to play comedies in your head all day to keep a smile and your back straight, do it. Smiling is contagious and it works in reverse – the more you smile and enjoy, the better you will feel too!

Confidence is all in your head. You don’t even have to be confident to look confident. Just stand up straight with a smile, don’t be afraid to look someone in the eyes, and shake hands firmly. Even if you’re having a bad day, follow these ideas and people will be none the wiser!

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Anyone who has ever written a long piece has faced that dreaded feeling of running out of words, being stuck and unable to continue the story. That lack of creativity filled by procrastination otherwise known as the writer’s block. And while it is true that the one and only guaranteed method to overcome it is by actually writing, I have to say that since I started doing yoga it has helped me gain a little bit of creativity and loosen up to allow the words flow easier.

A good yoga session helps to gain mindfulness, which is something really valuable to avoid distractions when you are in front of a blank paper. Also, the poses on the mat stretch the muscles that get tight due to long hours sitting at your desk. And there is nothing like Savasana to relax and prepare to start writing. But besides these known facts, I’ve learned a few tricks through my yoga practice to encourage my fingers to start typing.

I don’t pretend that they’re the magical solution to the writer’s block, but they have certainly helped me to overcome it more often than not. That’s why I want to share these three techniques:

Vinyasa Writing

Vinyasa yoga is the style that synchronizes you body movements with the breath. One day, after staring at my empty screen for several minutes, it occurred to me that I could bring that concept into my writing.

So, even if I had no ideas in my mind, I took a long breath and while exhaling I wrote whichever sentence came to my mind. During the next inhalation, I read what I had written and got ready for the next exhalation, which came with another sentence. It didn’t matter if what I wrote was all pure non-sense, as Louis L’Amour once said: “Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on”. After a few cycles of breath, I was not only more relaxed, but the words that I was putting together started to make sense.

This is by far my favorite technique to avoid the writer’s block. There is no way you can avoid breathing, therefore there is no way you can avoid writing. Once you’ve done a few minutes of uninterrupted Vinyasa Writing, it is quite possible that you come up with more ideas; keep the flow and start editing once you’re satisfied with your progress.

Inversion Inspiration

Inversion poses such as headstand, handstand, Downward Facing Dog (or anything in which the heart level is above the head), are well-known for their creative benefits. The extra oxygen flow and the blood circulating faster in your brain can provide you with more clarity to solve any problem. Also, when the world turns upside down, you get a different perspective to find new answers or come up with a nice twist to your story.

Every now and then, when I’m really blocked, I take a few minutes to do any of these poses to see if somehow a great idea was stuck below my neck and needed a push to find its way to my head. Worst case scenario, it makes me laugh about how ridiculous my reasoning sounds.

If you can’t perform a perfect inversion, use a wall to support yourself or find an alternative to hang your head below your heart level.

Kundalini Creative Mantras

Kundalini yoga is a style that uses mantras to keep the mind present and aware. The Adi Mantra is normally used at the beginning of a session. It is used for tuning in to the divine flow and the self-knowledge within us. It means “I bow to the Creative Wisdom”, I bow to the Divine Teacher within; thus, by repeating it, we’re automatically creating a connection with that creativity that we’re lacking.

There is another powerful mantra passed down from Yogi Bhajan to boost creativity, it is Har Haray Hari Waheguru. Its four parts represent the cycle of infinite creativity, starting from the seed, then the flow of the creative force and its manifestation while showing joy along the process. It translates to “All aspects of the Creator Are Bliss”.

And if you don’t believe in the power of the specific mantras or don’t like to repeat unknown words for you, then create your own! The idea is to have a mental repetition that will help you concentrate. So, just sit down and Leeeet theee Woooords Beeeegiiiiin.

If you have the time to go away and spend several days writing and doing yoga, a yoga retreat is just perfect to avoid the writer’s block. If you like the idea, you can visit BookYogaRetreats.com and find the one that you like best. They even have retreats tailored for writers!

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