As an obstetrician, whether I like it or not I have to be patient.  Pregnancy takes time to allow a baby to develop enough to survive the outside world.  Although many pregnant women including myself grew weary of being pregnant, few if any of us would want to trade places with a woman whose pregnancy lasted only long enough for her to deliver a premature baby who did not survive or a baby that had to remain weeks or even months in the hospital. Labor takes time for a woman to deliver.  Yes, we sometimes have to intervene for the sake of the mother or the baby, but sometimes intervening too early can lead to procedures that may have otherwise been avoided.  Interestingly enough although I chose a profession that requires patience, I do not consider myself a patient person except when I exercise my profession.  But what I realize in just the same way we needed time to develop as babies in the womb, we need time to develop into our best selves and that certainly requires patience.

I was sitting at a dinner event with a lovely lady recently and she had a goal to loose 30 lbs.  We discussed the steps she was taking and she was indeed doing all the right things but she lamented that she had not lost any weight.  When we spoke further she revealed that she started the process only two weeks ago but she wanted to loose the weight instantly.  I reminded her that she didn’t gain the weight instantly and encouraged and reassured her that if she stuck to it she will see the results.

I want to offer you the same encouragement in each and every aspect of your journey to be your best self.  If you reflect on your life, chances are you will recognize that your successes were not overnight.   If you are a professional, it often required years of schooling.  If you are a business owner it likely required countless hours to allow your business to grow.  Unfortunately sometimes we fail to apply the same lessons of patience, time and effort to our personal life in the same way we do to our professional life.  If your goal is weight loss, adjust your food choices and eating habits, increase your exercise but give it time.  The vast majority of people who loose weight quickly by fad diet regain it in short order.  If your goal is learning a new language, that also requires time, effort, commitment and patience.  If your goal is to improve your ability to meditate to reduce stress, it takes practice and hence time; the list goes on and on.

My own personal journey of patience was perhaps most tested in the time it took for me to meet the man who is now my husband.  I had never hoped or expected to be married in my early twenties but as I approached my mid thirties without a prospect in site, I became anxious and frustrated.  To say that I was kicking and screaming may not be an understatement.   Although I did not appreciate some of the benefits at the time I can now look back with gratitude; gratitude that I had time to establish myself in my career; gratitude that I had time to better understand the woman I am and the type of person who would suit me best; gratitude that I had time to cultivate friendships, which with the business of family life I have now I would never had established; gratitude that I had time to travel to many different countries; gratitude that I had time to discover hobbies I enjoy.   My main regret about that time was not that it took so long to meet the right man but that I lacked the patience to fully enjoy the process.

So whether you are blessed with patience or are reluctantly forced to be patient, the category in which I sometimes feel I belong; patience is an invaluable virtue in your journey to becoming the best you.  It does not mean inactivity.  It does not mean lack of persistence.  It does not mean giving up on your dreams.  But it involves the recognition that if you stick to what you need to do and apply your best efforts the results may likely take longer than you wish.

But I do believe that if you stick to it, it will come!

The post Be Your Best Self, Try Patience! appeared first on Change your thoughts.

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You know what is one of the best feelings in the world? When you get sick and have someone there to help you. You know those moments – it feels like everything’s going well in your life until out of nowhere you’ve caught a bug. If you don’t have someone there to help you, everything feels like a chore. Remember those days where it feels even impossible to stand up or get out of bed? Everything is out of the question – going outside, dealing with people, getting food, trying to cook, finding medicine. It all feels impossible to do by yourself, and we are so grateful when we have someone there to help us!

There’s nothing worse than being alone when we’re sick, and depression is just the same. People who are upset are reclusive and their symptoms are hard to follow, but it’s easy to be there for them when we catch on. People who are mentally down need the same care and attention that we would administer to someone who was physically ill. Both conditions have similar symptoms – we need to eat but it’s difficult; we need to go outside to shop, but it’s difficult; we need people around us to console us; we need good food and relaxing settings.

It’s easy to help someone who is depressed without letting them feel like we are being victimized by their state. If you suspect someone is feeling blue, here’s a few things you can do to brighten up their day without them feeling bad.

1. Contact them just to talk!

We are busy people these days, and don’t call our friends to say hi anymore enough. Even with the advances in social media chatting, we still don’t give our friends the time of day enough. For some, maybe it’s a bit too convenient, and we avoid it altogether to not seem clingy.

If you have a friend who is depressed, do not hesitate to say hi! It is a great gesture to reach out to someone. They will not suspect you’re acting as a doctor if you just talk about casual things. Don’t worry about catching up or discussing current events because it might just bring them back into their current predicament. Talk about fun things that will help take their mind off of things for a bit!

2. Insist they come out with you!

Depressed people are a tough bunch to get moving. When someone is sad they will avoid contact with others even though we all know that that kind of behaviour is not good for us. However, it’s still difficult to muster up the courage to be around people when we are ill.

In this case, it is your duty to get them up and running! If you’ve already been chatting to them then your friend will feel more comfortable with you. Convince them to come out for a walk through town, to get some coffee, or a drink and some food. Somewhere fun where their mind can wander a bit, and you will have them smiling and back to themselves in no time.

3. Going out of the “comfort zone”

People who are suffering from depression often stay the course because they are constantly surrounded by all the things which bother them. They stay home alone which is no good, and keep to their regular routines, which is also no good because it is predictable and too similar to their life when they are happy. What they need to do is see something completely new to remind them that there is a world outside of their unfortunate misery.

Time to go for a trip. You need to convince your friend to come somewhere totally new with you – maybe for a surprise, or you can plan an outing. Suggestions could be new parts of the city which you haven’t seen before, new cafes or interesting plazas, or somewhere outside of town in a rural, beautiful area if you are comfortable with chatting to your friend somewhere with no distractions.

Sometimes people just need to try something new to help remind them that there are things to see and emotions to be had outside of their next at home. It may take a lot of courage and pressure to get them going, but if they come they will be able to see the light sooner than later, and that’s the most important part of being a good friend.

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“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is the perspective, not the truth.” Marcus Aurelius

I found it difficult to get out of bed in the morning.

I wanted to climb into a deep hole in the earth and never come out again.

I saw only the most dire future for myself after this divorce was completed.  It didn’t seem like life was worth living anymore.

If you’re facing a lot of challenges and difficulties right now, it’s easy to want to give up and throw in the towel. If you’re going through a divorce, a breakup or a loss of some other kind, it’s hard to stay afloat in the stormy waters of life.

Life’s traumatic changes often are often accompanied with grief and it’s difficult to keep our perspective. It’s difficult to get out of bed in the morning and difficult to show up in the world. Our thoughts overpower us and make us feel like we are specks of dust in an unkind world. It appears as though everything is out of our control when we are confronting challenging circumstances in our lives.

The good news is that you can shift your perspective. You can shift the way you view the events that are unfolding in your life no matter how daunting or negative.

Here are 9 ways to stay optimistic during your most difficult hour:

1)      Look at what can go right.

When things go wrong, our minds love to jump to conclusions and think of worst-case scenarios. We want to play out the worst possible outcome. We love to think that we are going to be homeless, alone and playing for loose change in the subway. This kind of catastrophic thinking isn’t useful. See what can go right for a change. Focus on what the best-case scenario can be.

How can circumstances break in your favor?

2)      Know that everything – good and bad – passes.

No matter how bad things are, they will pass. Has there ever been a life event or situation you’ve been in that hasn’t gone away? Either the situation will change, your perspective will change or your life will change. What the Buddhists say is true about everything being temporary and passing. You’re not going to suffer forever. You will see happiness again. You will jump out of bed again in the morning. Walking the path of the grieving process is necessary to letting go and moving on when facing loss.

3)      Imagine the life you want to have.

One way to keep your head and spirits up is to imagine what’s possible. Instead of focusing on things you can’t do anything about (the past), why not envision the life that’s possible? Why not go about setting intentions and desires for the changes you want to see? Don’t let current circumstances dictate the future. No matter how bad it is, it can get better. There is power in setting intentions and seeing a new picture in your mind’s eye. If visualization works for world-champion Olympians, it can work for you.

4)      Treasure the moment in front of you.

While it’s best to release the past and envision the future, the ultimate place of being is the present. See, in this moment right now, as you’re reading this, that everything is ok. You’re fine right now. You’re fine in each instant you pay attention to. This is what’s called mindfulness. If you can be completely in the moment at hand, you won’t suffer the pain of the past or get anxious about the unknowns of tomorrow. Strive through meditation, silence and awareness to bring yourself to the moment in front of you. It’s all you really have.

5)      Look for peace within, not around you.

You can’t find peace when the situation changes. You can’t find peace when a few years have passed. You must cultivate peace. It comes from within you. Peace resides within you at all times, but it’s how to access it that’s the question. We let our minds have a battle royale and entertain us with their wacky scenarios. We have to be the ringleaders who tame the mind and calm it down. Still your thoughts, become aware of your feelings and seek refuge in your calmness. When you tap into your peace within, the circumstances around you begin to shift. If there’s a peaceful river flowing inside you, the world will be more calm around you.

6)      Remember what is working in your favor.

There may be things you can’t do anything about, but what is helping you? Who is part of your support system? How can something develop more positively? What are the lucky breaks that may resolve the situation? Having a positive and high-frequency attitude towards the way things are going to play out will help move circumstances in a positive direction. Believe that the world is going to conspire to help you and support you. You’re going to come through and come out better off than when you went in.

7)      See life as an adventure – get excited about change.

One way to break out of the fear and frustration is to view change as a game or adventure. This may be hard to do, but if you can think of yourself as the protagonist of the game, you’re in charge. You’re in control and the joystick is in your hand. You may die or lose a life metaphorically, but in this video game it’s never “game over.” You have another chance. You have unlimited “lives” to keep getting it right. Go forth with adventure and optimism. Do not believe the game’s over. You are the hero! Look at how you can make change, shift the situation and win the day.

8)      Look for ways to give.

When you get caught up in your problems, you tend to focus on yourself and become preoccupied with what’s happening to you. A simple way to break this pattern of self-sabotage and ruminating on your problems is to do things for others. Help someone. Be there for someone who is suffering a problem in their life. Do volunteer work. Take a friend out for lunch. Call a family member who might need to hear from you. Buy someone a coffee. Do something nice for someone. Be an agent of generosity and kindness.

9)      Use more empowering words.

The words we use reflect our thinking and our beliefs. The way you talk about a situation can impact how you see and feel about it. Talking too much about a negative life event or circumstance doesn’t help, either. Don’t spend hours sharing your negativity with everyone you know. Be mindful of your language and the words you use to describe the problems you’re facing. The more gentle you can be with your words, the better you will feel about the situation.

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Every adult person knows how can distract us traditional social media such as Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and other websites when you have to do your job in the Internet.

This article will tell you about 7 valid methods which will help you to draw special attention on work and not be distracted by time-sapping websites.

1. Find out who is your enemy.

Determine which services distract your attention while you are working in the Internet. The most common services are:

social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram;

• forums;
• e-mail;
• free chats;
• news websites;
• financial resources;
• online games;
• interactive websites such as Wikipedia.

2. Disable notifications from distracting resources.

Sometimes notifications (sounds, pop-up messages, etc) force you to return to the website and get away from work. Fortunately, in most cases, you can turn off notifications. For instance, here is how-to for Facebook. You need to click ‘Settings’, select ‘Account Settings’ then ‘Notifications’ and turn off all of them.

3. Define clear tasks in online.

It’s easy to be distracted, if your goals are vague. For instance, instead of thinking ‘I’m going to send my e-mails’, define the goal: ‘I’m going to send only 10 e-mails and to do it till 12 AM’.

4. Use distractions time after time as the best reward for yourself.

When you have formulated a clear goal make it a rule that you won’t open the distracting sites before complete the task. For example, ‘I can post new photo in Instagram after I finish with my essay’. Determine the tasks for the next 1-2 hours. When everything is completed, reward will be yours.

5. Set timer.

It is easy to lose track of time on such websites. If you don’t want to waste a valuable working time, set the timer. For example, give yourself 10 minutes to visit a news site. When 15 minutes will pass out, go to the next task. You can use software called the Toggl – it is one of such tools. Here you can read the full case of this application and find out did it bring any help.

6. Stop access to these sites.

If you can’t control yourself, can’t limit the time at entertainment sites, you must put such sites out of range. There are many browser extensions and tools that can prevent visiting entertainment sites. Train the willpower before you take to this step!

7. Teach your brain to focus.

You can put lots of effort to get rid of distractions. But your brain can still be your worst enemy. So if your brain jumps from thought to thought while working, you need to control it. The following advice may seem silly, but effective.  Put an elastic band on the wrist. Every time when distracting thoughts will occur, beat yourself this band. Read more about this method and decide should you use it or not.

But this does mean nothing and people must not be focused around the clock. Distractions are vital for a healthy lifestyle, it can stimulate creative thinking. Researchers insist that viewing web pages on the job help to make you more productive. But only if you did it at the right time.

So instead of letting your mind get distracted during the doing of an important task, determine a time for your brain to relax. This will give you the opportunity to find a time for yourself, consider about own future, relax, increase productivity and quality of your work. After all, your brain will rush to carry out the tasks quick and qualitatively.

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Roy Cleveland Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times. Eight, actually (if you believe him)—seven are documented.

Later in life, people began to shun him during thunderstorms, for obvious reasons. Or better said, perhaps, for obvious feelings. Anyone can understand why people felt the way they did, but were they being reasonable? Would you stand next to Roy during a thunderstorm?

Imagine how you would feel if your alarm only failed to go off when it really mattered. Or you could never find a parking spot when you were in a rush. Or you got dumped the same day you got fired the same day you got sick. How did you get sick? Because you got a flat tire, and your phone died right then, and you had to walk to find a phone. And then it started raining…

Bad karma! The universe is out to get you! You’re cursed, you have the worst luck, etc… After all, which is more likely, that these are all just coincidences, or that they aren’t coincidences, because destiny has its hands in your life?

Well, let’s check! There are seven billion people on earth. So, every day, there are seven billion different days lived. One of those seven billion days has to be the most improbable day of all, a day so improbable it only happens once out of every seven billion days lived.

To put that in perspective, there are about 30,000 days in the life of a 90 year old. One of those days will be the most improbable of the 30,000, a day so improbable it only happens once in 30,000 days of life, once in a 90-year lifetime. Imagine the most improbable day you’ll have in your life if you live to 90, the absolute craziest! More mind-blowing than any day of your life so far. That’s a one out of 30,000 kind of event.

Well, that’s nothing compared to a one out of seven billion kind of day, and one of those happens once every single day. It’s a day more improbable than the craziest day of your life, more improbable than the craziest day in the life of anyone you know. If 200,000 people lived to be 90 years old, only one of them would have a day this crazy!

And yet, one such day happens once a day, somewhere on earth, like winning the weird lottery.

You kinda have to feel sorry for that one person. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, life conspires against her to blow her mind with how ridiculously, impossibly bad (or good) a day can get. And then the next day, and for the rest of her life…? Nothing. Perfectly normal.
Nobody she talks to has ever had something like that happen to them. Some people think she must be being punished for being a bad person and avoid her, like people avoided Roy Sullivan when he kept being stuck by lightning. What would she think? Would she be able to realize it could just be chance? How would she feel? That’s the kind of thing that can really mess with your head…

Just by chance, amazing, crazy things are supposed to happen. How often do one out of a million days happen on earth? 7,000 times a day. If you’re 30, your life so far has about 10,000 days in it. Imagine the most amazingly improbably day of your life so far, one you might be sure can’t be just chance. Well, just by chance, a day like that should happen on Earth 700,000 times a day.

If more than chance is at play, then maybe these days happen more than they’re supposed to. If 700,000 people a day have a one out of 10,000 kind of day, we might say “Eh, that’s just what chance would predict.”. If we get more than that, then we can say that it can’t be just chance.

Interestingly, if we saw these days not happening at all, we would also wonder if something more than chance was at play. Maybe destiny, or aliens, or conspiracies to make people’s lives weird, or conspiracies to make people’s lives normal..

Does that seem strange? Imagine a 6-sided die. Generally, it should roll a “3” about one out of six times. If instead, we got a “3” five out of six times, we’d know that it wasn’t just chance. Probably, someone loaded the die to land on “3” a lot. But if we rolled the die a hundred times, and never once got a “3,” we’d be suspicious then, too. If we rolled it another thousand times, and still never got a “3,” we’d know that something more than chance was at play; the die was probably loaded not to land on “3.”

So, according to chance, crazy coincidences have to happen a certain amount. If they happen more than they should, or if they happen less than they should, we can guess that it’s not just chance, something else is affecting people’s lives.

But we certainly can’t just point to any ole crazy coincidence and say, “Look! Proof that there’s a government conspiracy. There’s no way this could just be the result of chance!” Well, no, because it very well might be the result of just chance.

Sometimes, surviving a disease is a one out of a million chance. But that just means that it is going to happen one out of those million times. We wouldn’t point to that and say that destiny saved that person or something. One out of a million means that one of those million people is supposed to get better!

This should make us question testimonials of miracle cures due to prayer or other forms of spiritual intervention. After all, we don’t get to see the millions who prayed and didn’t get cured. We only hear about the one case where someone prayed and then got better. Yet was it due to prayer or due to chance?

Most doctors never get a one out of a million cure. If they do, it might be the craziest thing to happen in their life and they might think destiny is intervening. But doctors don’t know everything (in fact, doctors’ grasp of probability is surprisingly poor).

And now, you know better than them.

So! The next time something crazy happens to you, remember:

Life is allowed to (occasionally) be crazy. Life is supposed to be crazy. Life is naturally crazy. One-out-of-a-thousand days will happen in your life every few years.

And the next time you hear about something crazy happening to someone else, remember: one-out-of-a-million days happen 7,000 times a day, somewhere on earth.

Is it destiny? Maybe. Karma? Aliens? Time Travelers? Maybe…but maybe not. It might just be chance.

Learn to look at the improbable and say “Maybe” to its face. And if your friend ever gets struck eight times by lightning, maybe you’ll know not to think they’re a bad person.

Questions to Consider:

• Suppose something is so rare as to only happen once every thousand days. How many of those things would have happened so far in your life?
• Why would it be weird if a one out of a thousand day never happened to someone?
• How many one out of a hundred days would a normal year of life have? How many have you probably had in the last year? In your whole life?
• What past events have you thought are too incredible to be just chance? Do any of them now seem like they might have just been coincidences after all?

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We all try to live a balanced and wholesome life. None of us walk through each day thinking that we will do half our best to be ourselves – and part of that is being proud of who we are. When we behave in a way that doesn’t feel like our best, it reflects on our pride and confidence in who we are, and we start thinking – “oh, why did I do that!” or “that wasn’t like me at all!”

In this way, we are constantly trying to be represent our best self, to take pride in what we do and support ourselves confidently around our peers. When we have off days we take it to heart and tend to think about it too much. It distracts us for the rest of the day and bothers our mood.

I want to talk about quickly recovering from these moments; this is something that affects sensitive people the most. We’ve all done stupid things at parties and around people we shouldn’t make faux-pas’ around, but when we do something that doesn’t feel like us in our day to day living, we tend to dwell on it – and we don’t want to do that!

1. It’s just a snapshot

When a manager walks by and berates and employee for, say, slacking off or playing on his phone, he is seeing a snapshot of the moment. He knows that the guy is a good employee and works the rest of the time, but simply caught him at a bad time – unfortunately, responsibility is responsibility and consequences are in effect.

For both people to leave without a bad taste in their mouth, they both must recognize the “snapshot” moment and leave it be. When we make a mistake in casual life around people, it’s important for both parties to remember that it’s just a snapshot. We all make mistakes. Sometimes it’s relieving to see other people recognize this! No one is perfect all the time.

2. Keep learning about who you are

We change a lot throughout our lives, and it’s a rather exciting thing! Scientist say that every 7 year cycle, all of our cells in our body have changed and been replaced by new ones including in our organs, our heart, or brain. They also say that we will change our jobs 7 times in our life…

What a great opportunity we have then, to continue to grow, evolve, and discover who we are, become better people, become better at who we are. When we make a social faux pas, we are not making any mistakes, we are just continuing our evolution as our own person. We are not born with a personality or identity – we grow into it slowly over time and through our environment. It’s a pleasure to discover new things and new ways to be better at life.

3. Don’t worry about what they think

We know that no one is perfect. Everyone slips all the time. Whether we live in a big city or small town, people and events occur around us at an alarming rate, all day long, and if someone wants to make a big deal about your behaviour, they can talk to you about it. The point is, don’t worry about what other people think – let bygones be bygones and enjoy life. You know who you are best and if part of that is getting mixed up every now and then, so be it.

4. Find growth potential everywhere

Doing something strange is an opportunity to both make sure we don’t do it again and also see what happens when we’ve already done it. Let’s say you’ve had an awkward encounter at a line in a coffee shop. You’re too tired this morning and you’ve accidentally been cutting in line without realizing it. You wouldn’t do that normally, but you haven’t had your coffee yet! Say sorry and shake it off, then take note of people’s reactions. It’s a light example, but any opportunity for a little social anthropology is a chance to learn more about people’s reactions and concerns, and how you can respond to it next time it happens to you.

5. Saving or losing face?

In many cultures in Asia, this type of situation is called saving or losing face. It is upholding your personal reputation to avoid shame or embarrassment. With this kind of culture in mind, it keeps the people from doing foolish things or things that might cause some loss of dignity.

In the western world then, perhaps we have a different approach to the topic. We are able to laugh off faux-pas, put things behind us and move on easily. Luckily for us, it means that if we’re all on the same wavelength, we don’t have to be as concerned about social anxiety! We are free to live our lives however we see fit and without such crippling concern about public shaming. So, enjoy the freedom and keep growing as a person!

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You wake up in the morning with a sense of dread, another day.

You have no energy for anything.

When you look in the mirror you don’t always like what you see.

Sometimes you have such little confidence you feel uncomfortable around people who have confidence coming out their ears.

You wish you had more to offer; you wish you were more Zen and spiritual.

You simply feel that you are worthless.

This was me, (and still is some days)

Oops I Got What I Thought

When I was a teenager, I LOVED T.V. doctor dramas. I’d binge watch until I thought my eyes would fall out.

I imagined myself in the hospital with a mysterious disease that no one could figure out, with my family all around and, of course a worried love interest by my side.

What I wanted was the attention, the romance, the fantasy and drama of these shows.

What I got was the disease, the near death, the hospital, the kidney failure and the pulmonary hypertension. Oh, and let’s not forget the mysterious disease that no one can figure out.

Turns out there was no romance, no fantasy, no T.V drama; just awful sickness.

It was literally “what you think is what you get.” Nowadays I have to constantly remind myself to think healing thoughts.

Recently, I was going through a tough period of depression after my second near-death experience -yes, it happened again- when someone told me to talk to myself. To tell myself uplifting statements during the day.

Even if it is just “Breathe,” or “Sleeping is OK.”

I started talking to myself as if I was talking to another person and giving myself encouraging thoughts.

Which helped remove the cloud hanging over my head.

But it took a while. My thoughts continued drifting back to thoughts of disease, weakness, ugliness, etc.

And some days they still do. I am a work in progress -aren’t we all? – but I’d like to share what I have learned with you.

Are your thoughts keeping you from achieving your highest potential? Try these…

1.You Are Beautiful

With the media bombarding you with preconceived notions of beauty, it is all too easy to forget that you are beautiful.

I find that I need to remind myself every day. This is not a narcissistic statement. It has nothing to do with being obsessed with yourself.

It is about self-love, loving yourself for who you are and knowing that you are beautiful inside and out. I know that’s a cliché, but sometimes we need a little cliché in our lives.

2.You Are a Divine Being

This one is important to understand and can sometimes be hard to wrap your head around.

ESSENTIAL DISCLAIMER: I talk about God, but if that word does not float your boat feel free to insert one of your choice. Example: The Divine, Higher Self, Light, Love, Life Force, Formless Substance, Cosmos, Universe etc..

Anyway we are all made from God or (insert word here) and therefore we are all divine beings, so remind yourself.

3.I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You

In their book, Zero Limits, Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len discuss this ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and healing called Ho’ponopono.

It turns out that loving yourself is the easiest way to heal yourself.

These are its principles:

Tell yourself you love yourself.

Tell yourself you are sorry, sorry for any negative thoughts or emotions you may have or had.

Ask for forgiveness.

And always say: “Thank you.”

Give it a try!

Side Note: Dr. Len healed a whole hospital/prison of criminal insane people in Hawaii by repeating this mantra to the photos of the inmates.

4.Pause, Take a Deep Breath and Smile

Do you ever forget to breathe? Yeah, me too!

Remind yourself to take a moment, breathe and smile. Especially on days that you are feeling down, overwhelmed or done.

Even just moving your lips into a smiling position can bring out a real smile and make you feel better.

Smile to yourself!

5.It’s OK if You Need a Break.

Give yourself a break. You don’t need to be able to “do it” every day.

Allow yourself to not be super human every day.

Sometimes what your body needs is for you to tell yourself that it is OK to watch a little television, take that nap or read that book

You don’t want to burn out, and resting is as important as doing.

6.You are Strong

We all need to remember this. Tell yourself that you are strong! Strength comes in all shapes and sizes.

I’m a tiny little thing of 5 feet and all I ever hear people say about me is that I am strong. But I need to remind myself, I need to hear it from me.

7.You Have the Right to be Rich

I recently read a book that changed my outlook on this. We are told not to be greedy and you must understand the difference. I am not talking about greed or desire for more material objects.

What I am talking about is everyone’s right to be rich because you can’t grow and evolve physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually if you don’t have resources.

In his book The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles explains that wealth is infinite and the “Formless Substance” that creates the world, wants us to be rich because by being rich we evolve and that’s what life is about.

He explains that we must think in this way and always remember that there is plenty for everyone. He calls it thinking creatively not competitively. I obviously can’t explain the book as well as he does so I highly recommend it.

But the premise is that we all have a right to be rich and we should remind ourselves every day, going back to the concept of what you think is what you get. Think wealth and you shall get wealth.

However, you must also put your thoughts to action. While you are thinking about getting rich you must do whatever your current work is with excellence.

And always remember to be grateful.

8.The Principle of Life is Health

Wallace D. Wattles also wrote a book called The Science of Being Well. I found this one particularly interesting because I am in the process of healing my body and reversing all the negative thoughts about disease.

He explains that the Universal Principle of Life is health, meaning that our original state is health. Everything is meant to be healthy.
The problem came when humans began to think of disease and of problems with the body.

He explains that medicine and cures work because the patient, whether consciously or unconsciously, believes that it will work. But the key is not just believing that it will work; it is believing that it will work on you.

That is why some systems of healing work on some people while other systems work on others.

But really all there is to it is remember that your true nature is health, which leads me to the next point.

9.Your Truth Is….

This is my favorite thing to repeat to myself daily. Right now my truth is health. I find it helpful for shifting my thoughts to health.

For example, if I tell myself “you are healthy,” and I don’t feel healthy that day, it may seem like denial.

The purpose is not denial. Denial is bad.

The purpose is to realize where you are at and move your thoughts to where you want to be. By speaking as if you are already there. And BELIEVING you are already there.

If I tell myself that my truth is health, I definitely believe that and I know I am already there because it is my true state.

10.You Are Grateful

Always remember and remind yourself to be grateful for everything that you have been blessed with in this life, because life is a precious gift.

I constantly say that I am grateful for being alive. I thank myself and my body for fighting to be here and for putting up with my thoughts.

And I thank the universe for blessing me and for everything.

Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Life

Having no desire for anything sucks!

Especially when the people around you seem to be delighted souls with plenty of confidence.

But these simple thoughts repeated often and with belief can dramatically improve your self vision.

Whether you are trying to heal, don’t have enough money, simply don’t have enough energy or even have been feeling ugly, it starts with the mind.

Even though we often forget, we are all so worthy and we must help each other feel it.

Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror every morning and loving what you see. Finding yourself smiling at nothing at all during the day

To start just try one of the statements above, pick your favorite and tell it yourself often, as often as you can.

Put the statements on sticky notes and post them all over your room or home. Remind yourself that you are the best you and that is all that matters

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We do it all the time. We hold in our feelings and we only show them when we really have to. Sometimes there are certain things in our life that prevent us from opening up and showing our feelings. Even though sometimes holding your opinion in isn’t even that big of a deal, in other situations cropping up your feelings can lead to some unpleasant consequences. Therefore, lets take a look at the reasons why you should show your feelings not only when you need to, but also when you want to!

It prevents miscommunication

When you’re not expressing your thoughts and feelings towards the person you’re speaking with then two things can happen: you’re creating an awkward situation or you’re so good at faking that they think that you’re fine with a certain decision or whatsoever and you continue on with the conversation. As you probably already realize, both options are bad. If you choose for the first option then you’re lying to yourself and if you choose for the latter one then eventually this will backlash at you in the form of a random outburst of emotions towards that person. The person you were talking to could think that he/she did something wrong when in fact you were the one that wasn’t completely honest. By not being transparent with each other, no matter if it’s a partner, friend or a family-member; you’re seriously putting the relationship with that person in jeopardy. Nobody likes being lied to, so in order to prevent damaging your relationship with someone you care about always try be as transparent as possible. It’s better to be slapped with the truth than to be kissed with a lie!

Opening up lowers stress

We all know what stress is and what it can do to your body and mind. One of the solutions to lower the amount of stress in your life is to be honest with yourself. We often stress about what other people think of us and how they perceive us. Therefore we don’t want to leave a wrong impression on people by saying something that you think that they won’t agree with or that they’ll take the wrong way. But when you behave differently every time around a different person, you’ll also have to maintain this ‘image’ of yourself and this causes cognitive dissonance. When you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance you’re attitude and behavior aren’t aligned with each other and this causes you stress. That’s why you need to make sure that your mind and behavior are aligned with each other and the best way to do that is by expressing your own attitudes and feelings regardless of how people will think of you.

You’ll find out who really cares

Sometimes we keep our feelings to ourselves, because we might think that others won’t take us seriously and that they won’t care. If your friends, partner or whatever person you consider that you’re close with won’t take your feelings seriously then you’re in the wrong environment. A person who truly cares about you will never take your feelings for granted or just tell you to; ‘shake it off’. Consequently, a great benefit of opening up to people is finding out who the people are that you can count on when you’re having problems. Surround yourself with these people in your life, because they are ones that will always lend a listening ear, regardless of your situation.

Your self-acceptance increases

When you decide to always tell people how you really feel without compromising yourself, you’ll begin to love yourself even more than you already do. Furthermore, you’ll also start to feel more powerful.  Powerful in the sense, that you’ll realize that you don’t always have to agree with the public view or that you can show your vulnerable side by opening up, without immediately your confidence being negatively affected. You know who you are and you’re not afraid to hide it, and that attitude is a ‘keeper’ if you want to live a life full with joy and fulfillment.

Of course, sometimes it’s ‘not the right time’ to tell someone how you feel about a certain subject and it isn’t always even necessary either. But what you never should allow is feeling forced to keep your mouth shut and therefore compromising the ‘real’ you. Like the great Oscar Wilde said; be yourself, everyone else is already taken.’

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Do you ever just walk down the street and see people smiling? Why are they so happy? Is there something in your hair? Is there something funny happening? Maybe they’re listening to a comedy?

Do you ever notice when people are sitting on benches smiling? Does it make you smile in return? It might, and it does. Smiling, like yawning and laughter, is contagious and exciting. I saw a video on my newsfeed recently about a man who starts laughing on a busy subway. He’s watching a funny video. People start to notice when we doesn’t stop, and after a minute, everyone on the whole car is laughing together.

The truth is, he wasn’t watching anything. It was a social experiment meant to test to infectiousness of laughter and happiness, and smiling works the same way.

1. Know the power of a smile

We love seeing people smile. We remember them in our day, we wonder why they’re smiling, and we hope other people are smiling too. When we smile at dogs, we think that we see them smile back, and the smile of a baby can make anyone’s day better. That’s what we are doing when we are smiling; we can’t know for sure, but we are bettering the day of everyone else around us. When you see someone smile, you might be prone to smile too, in response consciously or subconsciously. And when you smile, the same effect is happening on other people. There’s someone else out there smiling with you too, whether you know it or not.

2. Smiling is healthy

They say that smiling takes only 17 muscles but frowning takes 43. While it might not be scientific fact, it’s enough motivation to become something to think about. Smiling makes us feel better and feel happier without us even knowing it. Watching comedy movies when we are all alone, or have something on our mind, is something that makes us instantly feel better and forget about our troubles. Laughter is always the best medicine!

3. Smiling is something we can practice

It is popular rhetoric in the world of self-help that we should look in the mirror every morning, tell ourselves that we are beautiful, that we will have a good day, and to smile – and it’s true. It works, and we should do it. It’s hard to start strange routines that involve our bodily gestures, but once we get in the habit of it, mastery comes quickly.

4. Smiling is…a happy life!

Do you ever feel a bit jealous of the person at work who seems to be smiling all the time? Why are they so happy all the time? Could it be simply because they are smiling a lot? Maybe! Seems like they have been following Step 3 – practicing smiling. People who smile a lot have gotten into a habit of it, and can smile through anything. It’s a way of cheering up the day, making others happy, getting through stress, and having a more relaxed view of life. They’re not shy about it, so you shouldn’t be either. Go ahead and brighten the room up!

5. Smiling is inviting

People respond to mannerisms and behaviours, and particularly respond to extremes. We know this because people seem to be acting crazy all the time! But people also act happy all the time, and fortunately, it’s not an act. People who are smiling are people who are happy and relaxed, and others tend to gravitate towards them. It’s good for your social life, and has strong interpersonal powers that allow us to grow together.

6. Smiling is love

We try not to wear our heart on our sleeve too much but the best way we can do it is by smiling. It is a subtle act of kindness, love and respect. We smile when we see our parents and loved ones and reciprocate the love. It’s the best way to put our emotions on display and feel good about it too.

7. Smiling is good for your career

Smiling makes you more approachable, likeable and helps us position ourselves career wise. In many industries such as hospitality, digital and marketing, networking is the best thing we can do to advance our career. Employers who hire and create jobs want people they can get along with and enjoy the working experience together with. They want to see people who can be confident, assured and smiling! Smiling is a sign of certainty and courage. They will feel like you understand your responsibilities and enjoy doing the work. So go ahead, smile more, and get yourself promoted!

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I wish they could teach kids at school how to forgive. Forgiveness may not be a skill to grade a student for, yet it is a better predictor of the quality of individual’s life than all the A+s combined.

Yes, forgiveness is absolutely crucial if you want to live a life of fulfillment. Without forgiveness you just can’t give your true potential to the world…

Why? Because most of your energy will be drained while reminiscing the past and even worse, making up some bitter thoughts about revenge. You will not be able to focus on your life, you will not express your creative potential and you just will not be able to be happy, unless you learn to forgive and let go of the hurt in your heart. As a Chinese proverb goes,

“The one who pursues revenge should dig two graves.”

I do not think anyone will be happy by the end of their life to realize that they have been chained by the wounds, anger and pain throughout their life. It will be just too late to break the chains. Believe me the moment you forgive “the unforgiven”, life will look, taste, feel and even smell differently, much better and much lighter.

The popular expression “It is easier said than done” definitely applies to forgiveness. Forgiveness will take time, it will take efforts, but the results will be rewarding. The most important thing is that you are sincerely willing to forgive.

Remember none of us is born with some supernatural ability to forgive. You may think that such historical figures, as Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King were somehow blessed with divine characteristics of unconditional love and forgiveness. They were not. They just made a choice between living a life of captivity and liberating themselves from the chains of bitterness. They chose liberation. Mandela was one of them:

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

All these heroes of humanity have put tons of efforts to cultivate forgiveness in the garden of their hearts. So can you!

Caution! Do not ever attempt to forgive someone if you have not taken time to forgive yourself for your own mistakes or failures. Please acknowledge that no human being is perfect (including you and me), we all have made mistakes, at some point in our lives we ourselves hurt someone else, whether consciously or unconsciously, and were to be forgiven. This understanding makes us feel more compassion for other people and recognize the human nature of their mistakes.

The more you grow on your humanity, by taking responsibility for your mistakes and by learning to say “I am sorry. I was wrong”, it becomes more and more natural for you to forgive others easily.

One person forgiving the other may at first sight be a trivial issue on the global scale. But it is not, in my opinion. It is vital for the well-being of the particular society and the world as a whole. People who were hurt in the past, and have not been able to let go of their pain and forgive, may grow into people who “enjoy” hurting others. Who knows, maybe the world history would not know Hitler if he was taught to forgive…?

If we want to live in a world where people love and care for each other, we first need to give out love ourselves, including to those who have mistreated us. Your willingness and determination to forgive a particular person is vital. However, be ready that the feeling of having been hurt may come to you occasionally, especially at times when you feel low.

Just keep on reminding yourself that forgiveness does not imply that you are weak, or that you do not respect yourself. Your choice to forgive means that you value yourself much enough to free yourself from the chains of bitterness and live the fulfilling life you truly deserve.

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