5 Text Messages You Should Never Send

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Have you seen the popular meme about not answering phone calls, because “you don’t use your phone for that”?

Apparently, more and more people are communicating via text messaging these days instead of initiating phone calls. While text messaging is fast, convenient, and easy, some conversations need to be face-to-face. There are situations where a text message can be misconstrued and cause more harm than intended.

Here are 5 text messages that will remind you of the proper text etiquette.

1. “We need to talk”

Receiving this text message can freak out your recipient. Our minds usually go to worst-case scenarios when we read statements like this. Depending on who you sent this message to, it can cause them a lot of unnecessary stress.

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A girlfriend, for example, may think she’s getting dumped when she reads this text. An employee may think he’s getting fired and a child may think he’s in deep trouble.

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If you want to give someone a heads up that you want to discuss something important later, choose your words wisely. Another good idea is to just wait until you can have an actual conversation with that person.

2. “It’s over”

text message

Whatever your reason is, breaking up with someone via text message is extremely unacceptable. Sending a breakup text is cowardly, cold, and insensitive.

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In any failing relationship, the other party deserves to know the reasons behind the breakup and have a formal closure. Although  initiating a breakup is awkward and uncomfortable, it’s one of those times where you just have to bite the bullet and do it in person.

See Also: 5 Universal Truths to Tell Yourself After a Horrific Break-up

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3. “Why are you mad at me?”

Avoid sending text messages that carry emotional weight to them. Tone and body language don’t come through in a text, which means the message can be misunderstood.

Feelings can get hurt if the person who receives the text takes it out of context or misconstrues your message. Conversations about arguments or sensitive subjects should be done in-person. If you truly want to sort out an issue, text messaging isn’t the best way to do so.

4. “Hey. Did you get my last text? Why aren’t you responding?”

Sending messages like this will make you look needy and desperate. If you are feeling insecure, this type of messages won’t help you at all.

See Also: How Do I Get Him To Text Me Instead Of Me Texting Him All The Time?

Aside from creating the wrong impression on your end, the recipient may not like getting these messages either.If it’s been a while before you’ve heard from someone, it’s best if you can put your phone away and just stop checking it every two minutes. If a person is into you, he’ll find a way to respond as soon as he can.

5. “The silent text”

silent text

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Regardless of whether you are not responding to the guy asking you out for a second date or are ignoring a friend’s request to help her move, completely ignoring a text message is simply rude.

These people will be waiting for you to text them back and they’ll be checking their phone frequently to make sure they haven’t missed your response. If you don’t want to do something, just be upfront and honest. It will allow the other person to move on quicker and stop annoying you.

Sending a text is generally easier than picking up the phone and starting a conversation. However, as convenient as it seems, make sure that you still follow proper text etiquette whenever you send someone a message. Keep your texting for what it was made for: easy, light-hearted communications that don’t have a lot of weight to them.

If you’re questioning whether or not you should send that text, it’s probably a better idea to just wait and reach out personally.

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5 Ways to Get What You Want in Your Relationship

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Do you ask yourself “How can I get what I want in this relationship?”

Well, we’re happy to let you know there’s a simple trick to it. The trick is that you would be happy with a number of outcomes. You just don’t know it yet.

It’s just a question of finding the result that works for both you and your partner.

The vast majority of times, that place exists; you just need to find it.

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Here is a secret that very few people, even many therapists and counselors, know: you can find that place without struggle.

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You know how it usually works. You take position A; your partner holds position B, an obviously stupid and inferior position, and you can’t understand how they can be so dense as to not understand that you are right and their position is so wrong…and so it goes, until one person, severely wounded and out of ammunition (we hope you realize this is metaphorical) concedes, but the pain of defeat remains, ready to add fuel to the next conflict.
You can avoid all that. Really!

1. Be Flexible

How likely is it that your first opinion on a subject is the best, most perfect and only solution in the entire world? If your partner has that attitude, too, there’s no hope. You have to be open to other possibilities. What’s the best movie in the world? Hard to pick from the ones you know, but what if it’s one you haven’t even seen yet?

When you and your partner disagree initially, you have to remain open to all the possibilities, otherwise there is no route to a solution.

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2. Remember You are on the Same Side

You’re a partnership. Whether it’s FWB or marriage vows, you have reached an agreement within your relationship, and your needs are mutual, not antagonistic or opposed.

When you approach disagreements in this light and both of you can declare an intention to find a solution, the challenge is transmuted from a competition into a treasure hunt.

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3. Stay in Physical Contact

holding-hands

Sit together, hold hands, touch knees, whatever; there is a communication through touch that runs far deeper than words. Use it. Researchers have found that two people separated visually can communicate emotions by touch far above the expected rate. It’s an inheritance from the many species that do not use language.

4. Speak Personally

Don’t talk about your partner’s failings; speak personally instead. Say “I’m feeling cold” rather than “You pulled the blanket off me,” or “I feel Johnny needs more independence” rather than “You spoil him too much.” This removes the accusatory tone that leads to a counterattack or a defensive response. Instead, it’s a personal statement about what you are thinking and feeling, an offering of openness that can draw your partner closer.

Such a change of attitude from such a small change in language!

5. Practice Active Listening

active listening

When your partner speaks in turn (and you do give them space to get their message across, don’t you?), listen attentively to what they are saying and feeling. Don’t be preparing counter arguments as they speak; you’ll miss out on much of what they’re saying. Instead, try your best to see where they’re coming from. They have a viewpoint; it’s just not yours (or maybe it is, it’s just described differently. You won’t know till you listen!) What a chance for intimacy and an opportunity to find out how your partner sees the world!

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[end of list]

When you both practice all of these things, a wonderful dance can occur. Because your partner has described his or her needs and concerns, you can think of a modification of your position that accommodates them and yet is still perfectly acceptable to you. Your partner can likewise make suggestions, and the dance goes on until you both arrive at the same place.

This is magic because 1) you’ve found something that works for both of you; 2) neither person has compromised, and 3) it occurred without any conflict or bad feelings. It turns a disagreement from an emotional battle into an intimate sharing where you end up closer than ever. The more you do this, the more you see how it works and the more enticing it becomes, until there is no other way that you would have it.

We can assure you from personal experience that this method works. We have been together for 11 years without an argument, and still rejoice every day in the pleasure of each other’s company.

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6 Vitamin-Packed Smoothie Recipes for Glowing Skin

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Whether you are a veggie lover or not, it can be tough to pack in the daily recommended amount of vitamins and nutrients into your diet. This becomes even more difficult if you are busy and have a million other things to do through the day.

The good news is that there are smoothies.

Smoothies are a great way to get your daily dose of fruits and vegetables.  They are jam-packed with fiber, vitamins and nutrients which can do wonders for your skin and health in general.

If you are looking for smoothie recipes for glowing skin, here are 6 inspirations you can check out.

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1. Vitamin A Spinach and Mango Smoothie

Spinach-and-Mango-Smoothie

Via skinnyms.com

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This nutrient-rich smoothie is gluten and dairy-free. It is packed with Vitamin A, which can reduce your wrinkles and brown spots.

The vitamin can also slow down the breakdown of collagen and elastin, thereby delaying the aging process. It can improve your skin texture and stimulate blood flow, too.

Ingredients

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½ a cucumber
1 small avocado
½ cup mango
2 cups spinach
1 orange-peeled
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1 tbsp. ground flax seeds
2 cups coconut water
Juice of 1 lime

Method

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Blend the Spinach first, followed by all the other ingredients. You can try adding some orange or lime zest to add a hint of citrus flavor. Continue blending until the mixture becomes smooth in consistency.

The seeds are optional, but they can make a huge difference in the nutritional value of this smoothie.

2. Vitamin C Ginger Cranberry Smoothie

Cranberries are the star of this refreshing smoothie. Apart from being delicious, they are rich in Vitamins C and E. They are also packed with a lot of antioxidants and fiber.

Ginger, on the other hand, is excellent in boosting the immune system. It’s rich in antioxidants that can protect your body against free radical damage. It also improves elasticity and evens out skin tone. Chia seeds add protein and healthy fats to the mix.

Ingredients

1/4 cup cranberries
2 oranges – peeled
1/2 inch ginger – peeled
1 cup baby kale
1 cucumber
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1/2 cup water

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Method

Blend the baby kale, cranberries, oranges, cucumber, and ginger. Once blended well, you can add the chia seeds and water. You can also try adding coconut water for an additional boost in vitamins and minerals.

See Also: 5 Tasty Alternatives to your Calorie-Dense Staples

3. Vitamin C Grapefruit Smoothie

This smoothie packs a huge flavor punch. Grapefruits are rich in Vitamin A, lycopene, and carotene, which have healing properties.

Oranges and grapefruits, meanwhile, contain Vitamin C which stimulates the production of collagen and brings elasticity to the skin. Bell Peppers contain a lot of Vitamin C, too. In fact, half a cup of it already has 300% of the daily recommended value of the vitamin.

With these benefits, you can consider it as one of the best smoothie recipes for glowing skin you can try.

Ingredients

1/2 large red bell pepper
1 large red grapefruit- peeled
2 oranges- peeled
1/2 cup water
Ice (optional)

Method

Puree the bell pepper, grapefruit and oranges using your blender. Add the water and ice to make it cold (optional). This recipe makes about 4 cups of the smoothie.

4. Broccoli and Blueberry Antioxidant Smoothie

The idea of using broccoli in your smoothie can make you cringe. However, in this recipe, there are oranges and blueberries to mask its strong flavor.

Broccoli is full of fiber, calcium and Vitamins C and A. Its nutritional value makes it a great addition to any smoothie recipe you’re thinking of.

Ingredients

1 cup broccoli
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
2 large oranges- peeled)
1 cup water

Method

Blend the broccoli, blueberries and oranges until smooth. Add water until you get the right consistency. This recipe creates a thick smoothie, so make sure to add enough water to thin it out. You can also blend it with ice, as it is best-served cold.

5. Coconut Water Glowing Skin Smoothie

One of the well-known benefits of coconut water is fluid and mineral replacement. It contains lauric acid and cytokines which play vital roles in cell growth and regulation.

Oranges and mangoes contain Vitamins A, B, C, E and K. Aside from giving the smoothie its nutritional value, these fruits also add a great flavor and natural sweetness to the mix.

Strawberries can help boost your natural collagen production while the carrots can give you intense protection against free radical damage.

Ingredients

1 cup coconut water, chilled
1 cup frozen or fresh strawberries
1 cup carrots-peeled
1 orange- peeled
1 cup frozen or fresh mango chunks

Method

Puree the strawberries, orange, carrots, and mango chunks in a blender. Add the chilled coconut water and continue  blending until the mixture becomes smooth. Serve chilled.

6. Berry Detox Smoothie

Berry-Smoothie

Via nutribulletkitchen.com

Berries are rich in vitamin C. They also contain healthy nutrients like zinc, Omega 3 and selenium. These properties help reduce inflammation, prevent clogged pores and heal skin rashes.

The berry flavor of the smoothie masks the kale, so you won’t need to worry about the vegetable ruining the taste of your drink.

See Also: 10 Amazing Foods You Should Include in Your Detox Diet

Ingredients

1/4 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen strawberries
1/4 cup chopped kale
1/4 cup frozen banana
1 cup water

Method

First, puree the kale and banana until smooth. Add the berries and water and blend until you get the desired consistency. This smoothie is best served chilled, so make sure to add some ice.

Conclusion

If you are new to including smoothies in your diet, don’t go overboard with the vegetables at first. Start off with fruit smoothies and gradually work your way into including greens.

Some vegetables tend to have a lot of fiber which may impact the texture of your smoothie. Because of this, it’s a good idea to invest in a high-powered blender from brands like Blendtec or Vitamix. But, you can certainly start off with your regular blender.

Nutrition plays a major role in the health of our skin and countless other biological functions. Luckily, getting the nutrients we need for our health is now easier with smoothies.

What smoothie recipes for glowing skin and optimum health have you tried? How do you make them taste better?

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5 Business Books Recommended By Top Entrepreneurs

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What does it take to become a successful entrepreneur? A good idea? A great team? Or none of the above?

One thing successful entrepreneurs all have in common is that they read. In case you’re looking for a great place to start, here are the 5 most recommended business books by today’s entrepreneurs as well as the best tips you can learn from each of them.

1. The Lean Startup – Eric Ries

the lean startup

Traditional management consists of developing a strategy and overseeing the people executing it.

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The manager creates a plan, sets milestones, and delegates. Startups, on the other hand, can’t predict their own future because they have no past. They don’t know what their customers want, and they don’t know which approaches are best for finding customers that can make the business sustainable.

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Startups need an entirely different approach, and that’s where Eric Ries’s book, The Lean Startup, is valuable. The Lean Startup method helps companies develop sustainable business models by encouraging continuous product creation while concentrating on consumer feedback.

Ries, as an entrepreneur, bases the method on two important business concepts: lean manufacturing and agile development. And it’s not just a product of experience; it’s actually backed by several case studies which have been pulled together from the last few years.

In keeping with the lean protocol, Ries’s top piece of advice is this: don’t waste time on developing a product in the beginning. Instead, launch a basic model and see if it will sell. If not, iterate, iterate, and iterate some more.

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2. Rework – Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson

rework

Rework is not your traditional business book. Instead of advising you to run your business the conventional way, it offers unorthodox strategies in communicating and crafting your products.

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These tricks come from people who know what they’re talking about. Jason Fried is one of the original founders of 37signals.  His co-founder, David Heinemeier Hansson, is the creator of Ruby on Rails—the scaffolding for Twitter, Hulu, and thousands of other web services.

Fried and Hansson based Rework’s lessons on their own journey- from starting up to upscaling their business to the point where it generates millions of dollars annually. 

One important concept that the duo highlights in Rework is that you actually need less than what you think to start your own company—have it less figured out, fewer resources, and basically less of everything.

Fried recommends adding value for your customers by knowing what not to sell. You don’t need to offer every feature out there; instead, focus on what you do great and get rid of the “nice-to-haves.” You’ll be surprised at how that will transform your business.

3. How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

how to win friends and influence people dale carnegie

You’ve probably already heard the name Dale Carnegie.

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He was an American speaker and consultant on communications and motivation. He also happens to be known as the creator of the self-development genre—a title he earned by writing the bestseller How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Even today, Carnegie’s book keeps on flying off of shelves and it’s actually isn’t surprising. It’s full of lively anecdotes featuring people like Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.

It’s very relatable as well. Carnegie  offers up a lot of great, common sense tips in his book. One of the most useful nuggets is this: never openly criticize people.

And it’s not because you’ll hurt people’s feelings (though well you might); it’s actually more about being strategic and practical. Carnegie learned that when you criticize people, they’ll never change their behavior. To have a successful interaction, the book encourages you to empathize, forgive, and accept their shortcomings instead.

4. Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill

Think-and-Grow-Rich

Journalist and advisor to President Franklin Roosevelt, Napoleon Hill, was asked by industry magnate Andrew Carnegie to investigate the methods of the 500 most successful people of his time. Hill talked to the world’s richest men, top politicians, famous inventors, writers, and captains of industry—and then wrote the book.

Among other things, Hill learned a lot about the importance of the company you keep. He hypothesized that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Naturally, it’s important to surround yourself with intelligent, positive, and supportive people. Hill even had a name for this: the Brain Trust.

Hill held that if two or more people who work well with one another combine their skills, talents, specialist knowledge, experiences, relationships and all other resources and use them to accomplish the same shared goal, the result will be more than just a sum of its parts: it’s a surplus with which you can achieve things you could have never achieved alone.

5. The 4-Hour Workweek — Timothy Ferriss

four hour work week

American entrepreneur and writer, Tim Ferriss, wrote this controversial classic based on his own experience in remaking his life. After founding a company in 2001, he worked so hard that a burnout forced him to take a break.

He then took off to travel the world and was surprised to find how he could run a profitable business from anywhere in the world – and with only a few hours of work per week. He wrote The 4-Hour Workweek and shared those secrets.

In the book, Ferriss advocates abandoning the traditional 9-5 job as a modern desk slave. Instead, he encourages living a life that concentrates on enjoying  while still achieving big goals.

How do you exactly do that?

One of its critical aspects is learning to let go of the things you don’t really need to do, like, for example, micromanaging. A great tip from Ferriss’ book is this: Don’t babysit your team.

Instead, only get involved in exceptional cases. By giving them freer reign, you don’t only empower them but you also get to have more time for yourself to do the things you want to do.

As much as possible, try to read these books in one week. If you liked what you read but would like to know more about the key concepts from these books before you buy them, I recommend trying out Blinkist. They’ve condensed the five books above—plus about 1,500 more—into bite-sized reads for mobile devices.

 

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A Practical Guide to Hiring and Managing Freelancers

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You’ll probably agree with this one:

Hiring and managing freelancers is a tough job.

Well, is it?

Outsourcing your project to freelancers shouldn’t be difficult. In fact, it should make your job a lot easier. They should be able to take some of the load off of your shoulders and get your business to run more effectively and efficiently.

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But, how exactly do you hire and manage freelancers? Here’s a quick rundown of the things you need to know.

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Why Should You Hire Freelancers?

hiring a freelancer

• If you’re upscaling your business, there’s a good chance you’ll be needing extra hands to cover the additional jobs. Resorting to hiring freelancers is not only a great solution to meet your goals, but it can also help you cut cost, particularly if you can’t afford to hire new people to go full time in your company.
• Adding someone new to your project can give it the fresh take you’re looking for. Since freelancers aren’t tied up to strict schedules, they can get the job done efficiently and creatively.
• Freelancers are mostly time-bound when it comes to their tasks. If you need to get something done quickly, they are the best people you can turn to.
• They are experts in their fields. Some of them could even be honing their crafts longer than your business. They can help you rethink your tactics and strategies to boost your earnings.

See Also: Why You Need to Delegate More

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How Do You Find The Best Freelancers?

One of the best things about hiring freelancers is that you never run out of sources. Unfortunately, however, it’s also one of the most common pitfalls of the process. Because there are a lot of options to choose from, you can end up going through a series of trial-and-error before you can find the right person for the job. This approach isn’t only time consuming; it can also burn holes in your wallet.

Fortunately, however, that’s not always the case. Here are some of the best ways you can source your new writer.

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Freelance Platforms

Going through freelance platforms gives you the opportunity to find writers that match your project. Once you’ve set your project, freelance writers can start posting their bids. You can go through their profiles, feedbacks and rates before you make the final call.

Workfast: Getting your writer in Workfast can help you avoid the costly hiring process most platforms require. It offers flexibility so you can hire a writer to work for you on an hourly, a daily or even on a long-term basis.
Upwork: This is another reliable freelancing platform with lots of great people to complete your project. The problem with the platform, however, is that its freelancers tend to charge high, especially after the implementation of its new sliding fees.
Freelancer: It works very similar with Upwork but with different rates and charges. You post your project and sort through profiles and feedbacks to find the right match for the job.

Consider referrals

Referrals and recommendations are good options if you have friends or colleagues who have hired good people to work for them before. Since freelancers will be recommended, you can be sure that they can deliver quality work.

Aside from friends, you can also ask the people you’ve already hired if they can refer other freelancers to join your team. Since they are a close community, referring other people with the same caliber can’t be that hard.

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How to Manage Your Freelancers for Optimum Results

There is no rocket science equation about successfully managing your freelancers, but there are three things you need to have if you want to bring the best out of them.

Accountability

If you’re planning to build a team of freelancers, it’s a good idea if you can be clear about their roles. One of the best ways to achieve this is to establish milestones and metrics. Breaking down the project into different stages and setting one freelancer or a set of freelancers in charge of each stage can help ensure that the project runs smoothly.

Openness

Communication is critical to the success of any project. You need to know when and how to communicate with your freelancers before, during and after their tasks. This will save you time and energy in following up reports and demanding changes.

You can set regular monthly meetings in Skype or any other platform to keep track of your project’s milestones. Requiring your freelancers to create daily or weekly reports can also make you more aware of the progress of the project. From time to time, do an update on your goals and provide feedbacks to motivate your freelancers to do better. You can also encourage participation by asking for their opinions once in a while.

Clarity

Before you even let your freelancers start with the project, make sure you are clear about what you want and when you expect to have it. Give as much information to your freelancers as possible to eliminate confusions and frustrations along the way. Sketch out your deliverables and include the names of the people who will be in charge of completing them. It can also help if you can be clear about what criteria you’ll be using to measure their results.

managing freelancers

Handing out content briefs for your writers, for example, is one good way to ensure that they create optimum articles that will match your site. You can also create spreadsheets, video tutorials and presentations to make tasks even clearer.

See Also: 5 Steps to Do Less in Life

Conclusion

Freelancers, no matter what their expertise are, can greatly help you reach your business goals with less stress and hassle. Although the process can require a bit of work, particularly during the initial stages, completing your to-do list should be a breeze once you’ve set your eyes on the most qualified individuals. The key thing is to outsource from the best hiring platform and manage your freelancers in a way that would encourage them to grow professionally

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7 Easy Tips on How to Get the Perfect Nap

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Have you heard of the perfect nap?

It’s not uncommon for people to feel sleepy during the day. And this is actually regardless of whether one had enough sleep the night before or not. It can happen while you’re at work or even at school.

Although you can fight sleepiness with a cup of coffee, research proves that napping is actually the better solution.

Here’s a quick rundown of the most common benefits of taking power naps.

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Reduces Stress and Anxiety

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Stress and anxiety can affect your performance and productivity. Research proves that getting enough sleep can help you reduce both. Aside from ensuring that you get enough sleep at night, taking quick naps can be very beneficial to you as well.

Increases Productivity

It’s easy to think that taking 20 minutes from your work time for a nap can affect your productivity. On the contrary, however, it’s actually the exact opposite.

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Taking a short nap can help improve your response time and creativity. It can also reduce your errors at work and boost your overall productivity.

Improves Memory

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You’ve probably already met people who tend to sleep over something so that they can easily remember it. Although the idea may sound absurd, research suggests that taking a nap can actually boost a person’s memory.

A nap can’t only improve your ability to retain information; it can also help you assimilate new data.

Controls Weight

Ghrelin hormone is what makes people crave for certain foods. It’s mainly triggered by lack of sleep. If you want to resist your food cravings and control your hunger, taking frequent short naps might do the trick.

Lowers Blood Pressure

High blood pressure affects millions of people across the globe. Although there are medicines and  treatments available to control the condition, taking a simple nap can also be very useful. According to scientists and medical professionals, taking a 45 minute nap can significantly reduce a person’s blood pressure.

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If you are struggling to get the perfect nap, here are some of the things you can try:

TIPS FOR A PERFECT NAP

#1 Prepare Yourself Psychologically

Napping doesn’t always mean you’re lazy. If you have any doubts or you feel like you’re doing something wrong when dozing off in the afternoon, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to get the most out of it.

#2 Choose the Correct Time to Nap

The best times to nap is late in the morning or just after lunch. Napping late in the afternoon can only throw you into a deep sleep, which can leave you groggy. It can also take up a lot of your time and decrease your productivity.

#3 Time Yourself

A perfect nap should last between 20 and 25 minutes.  Because of this, it’s essential that you have an alarm clock near you so you don’t oversleep.

Drinking a cup of coffee before napping helps, too. Since the effects of caffeine usually kick in after about 20 minutes, it should help you wake up quickly.

coffee before a nap

See Also: How to Supercharge Your Afternoon With a Napuccino (aka a Coffee Nap)

#4 Find a Good Location

A nap might be short, but you still need to choose the right place to have it. You should find a place that is clean and quiet, where there are no passersby or ringing phones to distract you.

#5 Keep the Lights Out

Turning off any light sources in the office and drawing the blinds will make it easy for you to sleep. However, if these things aren’t possible, then a sleep mask can come in handy. It’s comfortable to wear but very effective in keeping out the light.

#6 Lie Down

It can take 50% longer for you to fall asleep when you’re in an upright position. Unfortunately, however, you don’t always get to lie down when you’re in the office or at school.

napping position

If you can’t lie down, just assume any position you’re comfortable with. It’s essentially the key to getting the perfect nap.

#7 Come up With a Schedule

Scheduling your rest is important if you want to get the most out of it. Once you’re able to come up with a schedule, make it a point to follow it consistently.

See Also: How to Boost your Afternoon Energy with a Power Nap

CONCLUSION

A 20-minute nap a day can have tremendous effects on your health and work performance. It might feel a bit awkward at first, particularly if you’re not used to it. However, with its list of benefits, getting the perfect nap is a must-do in  your daily routine.

How do you get yourself to take a power nap? Do you have any other tricks to make napping easier?

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How to Trick Your Brain to Stop Procrastinating The Really Scary Stuff

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Do you know why you can’t stop procrastinating the really scary stuff- despite all your good intentions?

It’s because the classic anti-procrastination tip just doesn’t work on them. It works on easier things,  like those things that are only a little uncomfortable. Take, for example, decluttering your bedroom.

But, when it comes to the really important stuff, such as the ones that are life changing and take a lot of commitment, the classic tips cease to be effective at all. This mostly happens with important milestones in your life, like quitting your job to start your dream business, losing weight, or writing the book you’ve had in mind for ten years.

It’s like cutting down a tree in a really thick black forest. You know you have to do it but you find a lot of excuses not to.

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It’s really difficult, right?

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There’s something about feeling ‘scared’ that makes us not to want to have anything to do with it. And there’s another good reason- pain.

We’re inclined to do things that can give us pleasure, while we run away from the things we know can give us pain. We’d rather choose the pleasure of today even if it’ll cause us pain tomorrow. We’d rather deny the pain of today even if we know we’ll get great pleasure from it in the future.

Think about it this way:

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If the promise of pleasure is greater than the promise of pain, you tend to act immediately. But, if it is the other way round, you procrastinate.

So, do you know how to quit procrastinating?

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Easy. You have to break this pattern.

Here are the secret ways you can trick your brain:

Put things into perspective

Learn to recognize the pain that’s holding you back and the pleasure you derive from being held back. You can ask yourself the short-term and long-term discomforts you have to endure if you don’t take action now.

See Also: 3 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Live The Life Of Your Dreams

Think about the stress and lack of peace of mind. Anticipate the feeling of disappointment in yourself and the long-term pain of watching your dreams go down the drain. Imagine financial failure, lack of self-fulfillment and even depression.

Establish accountability

Sometimes, the idea of a loss or failure can be enough motivation to pull you off of your comfortable couch.

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Imagine that you have a good book to finish. If you’ve been putting off writing that book, you might miss your deadline. There’s the pain of possible rejection and the fear of not being able to finish it on time. You can get laid off from work and you might not even get paid for the earlier work done.

Anticipate the pleasure

Aside from thinking about the negative effects of procrastinating, another good motivator is the reward you’ll receive after getting the work done. While working, ask yourself what pleasure you can derive from it.

If you’re aiming for a promotion, now’s the right time to act on it. If you’re planning on taking a vacation, you should start working on your project right now- so you can have enough time to prepare for your trip. Just think about the pleasant activities you can enjoy once the hard tasks are done and you’ll feel instantly motivated.

vacation

Compare and contrast

Compare the pain of taking action now and the pain of procrastination. Then, compare the pleasure you’ll derive by taking action now and the pleasure you’ll get from procrastinating.

If you’re having a hard time picturing these things in your mind, it’s a good idea if you can write them down. List down the pros and cons of delaying the task. You can also sketch down its negative and positive effects.

to do list

Seeing these things on paper can help train your mind into going into action. The more you condition your mind, the more likely you’ll defeat procrastination.

See Also: Five Things To Do Right Now To Stop Procrastinating

How do you beat procrastination? What do you do to get yourself to move?

 

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16 Easy and Effective Morning Mood Boosters for Non-Morning Person

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If you are not a morning person, you’d agree that there is no better time for you to murder someone than in the morning when they force you to wake up. That feeling when you are roughly ripped from your unconsciousness, either by screaming alarm, violent shake, or glaring sunlight is painful and disorienting. You never get used to it even after a whole lifetime of practice. It turns you into a cranky and dissatisfied individual – not a very attractive nor appealing individual, by the way.

Sadly, no matter how much you’d rather put your middle finger to the world, duty still calls. Works need to be done, dreams need to be chased, bills need to be paid. Thankfully, there are some hacks to make you feel better, happier, and more productive in the morning. Here are some morning mood boosters to make your morning less miserable.

1. Get Enough Sleep

get enough sleep

Do you know that inside our body, there is a built in clock called Circadian Rythm – or better known as biological clock? It means our body can understand the best daily schedule for itself. It knows when to eat, when to rest, and most importantly, when to wake. Our body has needs and biological clocks ensure that it gets what it needs on time. In the morning, our body is scheduled to already have enough rest and it needs to wake up to get breakfast. But, if our body somehow didn’t get enough rest for the night, the biological clock will start to mess up. We won’t be able to wake up naturally in the morning.

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Everybody has sleep quota, but the number vary from each person. Normally, people need 6-9 hours of night sleep. Track your own sleeping quota, make notes at what number of hours of sleep you feel the most energized during the day. Then, make commitment to fulfill that quota every night. Following regular schedule for sleeping can be hard for modern lifestyle with shift work and frequent business travel to different time zone. For that, aim to increase your productivity during work hour instead of working for longer hour. Get quality sleep so you can get the most benefit of sleeping in the shortest time.

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2. Wake Up Slowly

I used to set my alarm ALAP, or as late as possible. I thought the extra minutes of sleep will make me feel more satisfied. I was wrong. Big time.

Is there any worse way to wake up than have an alarm blasted right near your ears? Yes, there is. It is when I look at said alarm and notice that I have just enough time to brush my teeth, dress up, and chew my breakfast. That makes me jump from my bed, right away! For me, it feels as if I’m ‘warping’ from one dimension (my dream) to another (my reality), and ‘warping’ takes energy. So, I just wake up for several seconds and I feel tired and offended already. Not a good way to start a day.

The best way to wake up is to do it slowly. After you realize you’re awake, don’t move suddenly. Let your consciousness slowly build up and give time for your body to start their ‘waking mode’. Then, sit on your bed before you rise and start the morning routine. Take around 3-5 minutes for the whole process. This will makes you feel less disoriented, less tired, and more content.

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3. Avoid Looking at Your Phone

Many people automatically reach their phone the moment they wake up. Partly because most of them use their phone as their alarm. I personally prefer a separate alarm, because once I lay my hand on my phone to dismiss my alarm, I automatically tempted to do more. For example, checking messages and email and group chat. Before I know it, I’ve spend 20 minutes trying to connect myself to the world mere seconds after I wake up.
I think, before I try to connect with outside world, it’s important to connect to myself first. That’s why I prefer to put my phone away from my arm reach in bed.

4. Five Minutes Meditation

When you sleep, you part with your consciousness for a while. Now, after you wake up, you will need to reconnect with your own self. Take five more minutes after you wake up to stay still. Focus your thought to remember who you are, where you are, and what your life purposes are. For example, if you are Frodo of The Lord of The Rings, you can think like this: “I am Frodo, I’m in the middle of my journey to Mordor, and I have to destroy this evil ring, whatever it takes, to save the world”. This easy practice will make you focused, motivated, and determined in the morning.

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5. Greet the Morning

Now, it’s time to move out of the bed. What awaits you? A fresh, cool, and crisp morning air that is good for your health and your alertness. Stand up in front of the window and open it, let the morning air caress your face. Observe the morning with all your senses. Look at the color of the sky. Listen to the birds chirping.

As you start using your senses, you’ll be gently pulled from your unconsciousness into full awareness. Not only your mind has completely awake, but your senses are too.

6. Ten Minutes Exercise

Now, when you’re already focused, motivated, and determined, getting those limbs to move is easier. Do simple warming up exercise like nodding your head rythmically, lifting your shoulder up and down, twisting your waist left and right, and walking in place. This will stretch your muscle after a whole night of lying down. Believe me, the muscle burn you’ll feel is satisfying and makes you feel accomplished.

7. Cold Shower

Now, after you exercise, take a cold shower. Now, the thought of dumping cold water to your entire body seems horrifying. In fact, it makes you more averse to waking up than the thought of hot shower. But, believe me, it is not that bad. If it makes you feel better, James Bond takes this kind of shower everyday.

It is actually refreshing and brings you into full alertness. When the water comes into contact with our skin, the shock prompts our body to seek warmth. It will take a deep breath and pump a rush of blood to our entire body – giving it a natural boost of energy. That energy is perfect for amunition for the rest of the day. A moist and healthy skin and hair is just side benefit.

8. Mood Boosting Music

As you exit the shower and make way to your room to dress up, turn on your music player. Make a ‘morning mood’ playlist beforehand, contains songs with uplifting melody and lyric you find motivating. It doesn’t have to be an obvious motivation song, like Mariah Carey’s Hero or Bruno Mars’ Today My Life Begin. Every song you personally found motivating should be included to the list.

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9. Apply Essential Oil

After dressing up and putting up some make up, don’t worry to apply a sheer magic of mood booster: aromatherapy. There are various type of aromatherapy, each with their own effect. For your purpose, I’d recommed aromatherapy with mood boosting and energizing effect. Those are the scents of orange, lemon, mint, and bergamot.
Pick an organic essential oil for this to minimize skin irritation. You can apply them in certain part of your body like a perfume – on your wrist, your neck, or behind your ear.

10. Hug Your Loved One

Now, smelling nice and looking impeccable, show up on the living room to meet your loved one for breakfast. They can be your parents if you’re still living with them, your spouse, your kids, or even your housemate if you’re still single. Hugging people you love has this grounding effect. It reminds you that you have to do your best today for the sake of your loved one. You will do awesome thing today at work and at night you’ll come back accomplished to your loved one.

If you live alone, simply send a ‘Good morning, I love you’ to your girlfriend or boyfriend or parents. It can serves as a morning mood buster as well as a hug.

11. Light, Tasty, Nutritious Breakfast

light and healthy breakfast

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, period. When you sleep, you’re essentially fasting because there is no nutrition intake. This makes your blood sugar especially low. Meanwhile, blood sugar gives you energy to do your activity later in the day – whether muscle work or brain work. Not replenishing this needs will make you tired and feeling dull in the morning.

Your breakfast should be light, so you can easily chew it and your body can easily digest it. Tasty, so you will feel ‘worth it’ to make time for breakfast. Nutritious, because it’s the point of having breakfast – to get the nutrition. Ideally, your breakfast should contain protein, calcium, a little fat, a little fiber, and a little sugar. It means variety of choices, like eggs, fish, fruit or vegetables, whole wheat cereal, yogurt, and many other tasty choices.

See Also: 5 New Ways To Eat Breakfast And Skip Mid-Morning Slump

12. Hot Chocolate

Are you thinking of snatching a cup of Starbucks later on your way to work? While coffee is definitely the most popular morning beverage for office workers, cocoa is maybe the best. Coffee will help you focus during your work, but cocoa with its flavonoid can do the same while improving your mood in the process.

So, after a well balanced meal, make sure to sip a nice cup of hot chocolate. The sugar in it is also enough to keep you going through the day.

13. Smile

Smile is really an effortless yet powerful act. Smile comes naturally when you’re happy, but it goes backward too. Meaning, even if you only fake a smile, your brain will think that you’re happy. Neat, isn’t it? And when you feel happy, then your mood will skyrocket and you’re ready for the world.

Make sure to put your best smile before you open the door to go to work. To make sure you won’t forget this, put a reminder to smile in your door.

14. Sunlight

Now, it’s time to get out of the house. But, it doesn’t mean that the mood boosting ritual is complete. It needs a finishing touch, which is available outside your house. It is a poweful light that can warm you and make you feel better about the world. It improves your mood and makes you healthy. It is completely free and abundant, It’s not futuristic at all, it’s completely basic and natural: sunlight.

Our biological clock also runs based on the availability of sunlight. When the sunlight goes out, it knows that it’s time for your body to rest and sleep, so you become sleepy. When it feels the sunlight, it knows that it’s time for your body to work, so you’ll find yourself alert and energized.
Spend several minutes to stand under the morning sun before you go into your car, into your bus, or into your subway station. Recharge yourself by going out and basking in the warm morning sunlight.

15. Do One Kindness Act

Now, you are outside. Complete your day by performing one kindness act during your way to work. Human is naturally kind, and being able to act according to their nature will give you happiness. As you feel happy and accomplished, your mood will be at its peak.

Get creative with the kindness act. Find easy way to perform kindness while you’re commuting. For example, giving away your subway seat to an elderly or smiling at strangers. You can also drop a dollar or two on the street – who knows someone who desperately need it will be lucky enough to pick it.

16. Do Something that Makes You Happy

Now, your day is officially start! You’ve gone through the most positive morning routine ever. For that, feel free to reward yourself. Allow yourself to do something that makes you happy today. Is it a quick visit to nearest cafe for its smoothie? Is it a quick read of a chapter of your favorite novel before work? Your pick.

See Also: 10 Secrets To A Happy and Fulfilled Life

Doing this will make you feel accomplished. It boost your mood and confidence. What a perfect way to start the rest of your day.

The list above is totally customizable. You can pick which one is most suitable and effective for you. But, I found out that doing all nine makes the best morning mood boosters combo – they’re easy anyway. So, are you ready to conquer the day?

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10 Productivity Musts for Freelancers

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As a freelancer, you’re in charge of planning your day. You get to decide which tasks you want to work on first and when to take your breaks.

Unfortunately, this freedom can either make or break your career. If you’re not careful, hours can tick away without you finishing a single project.  Worse, you can even end up with a messy desk and an almost untouched to-do list.

Wondering how to get the most out of your time? Follow these 10 productivity tips for freelancers to get more out of your workday.

Bonus: you’ll get more out of your free time, as well!

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1. Prioritize Your Tasks

It seems like a no-brainer. You get the most important things done first and you can finish the rest of your tasks quickly.

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Unfortunately, not everything turns out the way we plan the all the time.  As your creativity and energy can vary throughout the day, it’s best if you can assess yourself first before getting straight to work. You might even be surprised at what you’ll find.

Some people who identify as “morning people” have major breakthroughs at night. There are night owls who discover more creativity in the morning. If the nature of your business is creative, be mindful of when you get your best work done. It may be the opposite of what you think.

As you prioritize your task, make sure to structure your to-do list to match your energy. Once you finish work for the day, make a list of any leftover tasks and engagements approaching deadlines. (Evernote is a favorite for lists). Doing this will enable you to begin the next day with a fresh energy and gameplan.

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See Also: 6 Tools to Increase Your Self-Employed Productivity

2. Make a Schedule- And Stick To It

 

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make a schedule

Armed with the list you created at the end of your last work day (#1), plug in your schedule for the day. Most freelancers balk at this suggestion, as avoiding the 9-5 workday is often why we get into freelancing in the first place.

Making a schedule doesn’t mean giving up your flexibility. It means setting times when you’ll be ultra-efficient so that you can have the freedom to enjoy your time outside of your workstation.

See Also: 14 Problems Freelancers Usually Face

3. Set A Specific Time for E-mail

How many times have you thought “I’ll just answer this one quick e-mail…” and then realized an hour has gone by? Or noticed that “New Message” notification, only to get tied up responding to a series of questions?

As a freelancer, you want your clients to know that you are attentive and available. But you also have a million other things to get done.

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The solution?

Set a specific time to check and respond to e-mails. Studies suggest that good email etiquette means responding within 24 hours. Optimally, you can check your inbox once in the morning and once in the afternoon. While you’re away, you can set an auto-response to explain when you’ll be actively responding.

4. Realize Repeat Tasks and Assign a Process

Do you remember what life was like before we had applications for everything? Rolodexes, paper charts, and battery-powered Dictaphones were standard in most medical offices.

We can learn a lot from modern technology in this aspect: if there’s a way to simplify, do it. Noticed that you get a lot of calls at 9:00am? Make that your window of availability over the phone. Tired of typing out the same e-mail over and over? Use a canned response system (MailChimp has some great ones).

Try to recognize when you’re doing something more than once and create a process for it. It will save you time, and sanity!

5. Get Organized. Really.

Albert Einstein once quoted: “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what, then, is an empty desk a sign of?”

Getting organized is one of the best ways to boost your productivity and control your madness.

Do you waste time trying to locate documents on your computer? Throw them in a “Common Documents” folder in Google Drive. Spending too long scrolling through your clients in your smartphone? Use a spreadsheet or CRM of your choice to organize your contacts.

You’ll be amazed how much better you can feel once you have everything in one place. You’ll also save precious time off of your workday.

6. Complete the Small Stuff

Have you noticed that tasks seem to multiply when you’re in a hurry? The presentation you were sure was complete is missing a crucial point. As you add it, you realize the image you attached is the wrong size. Just before you submit the final draft to your client, you realize that you have two e-mail addresses for her, and aren’t sure which one to use. Now you’re right up against your deadline.

How did this happen?

Often, we brush simple tasks aside,thinking that we can quickly complete them at a later time. This leaves us rushing to complete a stack of projects that often are more complex than we first realized.

Here’s a great solution:

Get the small stuff out of the way. Not only can this help lessen your workload, but it can also give you a sense of accomplishment which is essential particularly when you’re dealing with multiple projects.

7. Do The Worst Task First

Dreading that phone call with an unhappy executive? Tempted to wait until later to dial the number?

Don’t. Just do it now.

By addressing the least desirable task first, you’re avoiding the dangerous lure of procrastination. You’ll also be able to move forward without it hanging over your head the rest of the day. And once you’ve tackled the tough stuff, everything else suddenly becomes more simple.

8. Compete Against Yourself

One of the most common complaints of freelancers is that they no longer have the healthy peer pressure to over-perform. It takes a great deal of integrity to be productive all day.

Without a cubicle partner to compete against, how do you push yourself to get more done?

By challenging the best competition out there—yourself. Start by setting a timer for 30 minutes, and work on one task. This means no e-mail, phone, social media, snack breaks or conversations with the roommate. Try to finish the work or just make any tangible progress.

When the timer goes off, move on to another task, and set the timer again. By working in dedicated increments, you are committing yourself to resist all distraction. You also get to approach each new 30-minute interval with renewed energy.

9. Take (Timed) Breaks

timed break time

You’ve drafted a schedule, with your least favorite task first. You’re finishing small tasks as they come. You have specific times for processes that reflect your creative energy. Now, there’s one more thing missing in the equation- planned breaks.

More and more studies are revealing the importance of taking regular breaks during the workday. More energy, better health, and a boost in motivation are only some of the benefits you can get from giving yourself a few minutes to breathe freely during the day.

And it’s not just about the number of minutes, the quality of your breaks is important, as well. Try to get a little exercise, drink a glass of water, and detach yourself from your computer screen for at least five minutes every hour.

If you’re competing against the clock (#8), you can schedule this hourly. Don’t forget to schedule longer mealtime breaks as well, so you can prepare something that will give you sustained energy.

10. Set Goals and Reward Yourself for Your Progress

Are you missing the incentive programs and bonuses you got to enjoy with traditional employment?

You don’t have to miss out on any of those things just because you work on your own. Now that you’re organized (#5), it shouldn’t be that difficult to throw together a list of goals. Try to create  weekly, yearly, and long-term goals for yourself. Keep yourself accountable by scheduling 5 minutes to review and assign new goals each week.

As you complete each milestone, don’t forget to reward yourself. Sure, you may not have the monetary incentive, but as your productivity soars, so will your income. Reward yourself with that trip you’ve been putting off for some months already.  Get the new pair of shoes you’re dying to have or just take an enjoyable dinner at the new restaurant downtown.

You work hard to make it as a freelancer. Matching your passion for work with your hobbies can make your job a lot more enjoyable- and productive.

What are your productivity musts? Have you successfully put any of these into practice?

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7 Poker Skills You Can Use in Real Life

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Poker is an activity that can teach you useful new abilities and skills. It won’t turn you into a superhero, but it can provide you with sharpened skills that can be helpful in the face of ‘dangerous and risky situations’.

1. Odds

poker odds

Mastering the concept of odds and expected value is crucial to success at poker. Ater all, you need to be able to calculate whether the amount in the pot justifies the risk of betting.

Understanding the odds can be handy in other parts of life too. For example, what are the odds of you achieving a promotion you want to apply for? Knowing your statistical chances based on a variety of factors alters your preparation for the role, how you approach your interview, and how you justify the pleasure/disappointment when the role is given.

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2. Damage limitation

Being able to restrict losses is something every gambler has to learn if they want to get good at it – and there are plenty of daily life situations where it can be handy too.

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Say your girlfriend says to you that she is ‘fine’, in response to a query with that all-too familiar tone that implies the exact opposite. Clearly damage has already been done so being able to pick up on this could be the difference between a brief spat or a month spent sleeping on the sofa.

3. Discipline

Playing poker will teach you about discipline as you need to be able to manage your bankroll to have a minimum of 50 buy-ins at stakes you play. This is so you can cope with losses.

This is the same self-discipline that will get you out of bed when it’s a cold January morning and you don’t feel like hitting the gym.

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4. Bluffing

We all know that this is central to poker but there are real-life occasions when knowing how to fib with a straight face can get you out of danger.

One such example would be if you visit friends who have just had a baby and they ask you to comment on his or her appearance. We all know babies look like Alfred Hitchcock, but need to bluff and say ‘beautiful’.

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5. Half bluffing

In Texas Hold’em, the half bluff is a situation whereby you bluff but success is not solely dependent on your opponent falling for it. There are real-life situations where it can be really helpful.

Say all of your friends are talking about the Game of Thrones books but you have only seen the television version. Operating the sort of half bluff you would use when playing online poker in the middle of this tricky GoT situation can help you navigate the conversation by letting them think you know all about it – when it fact you only have half the knowledge.

6. Raising the stakes

In poker this means increasing the amount you are betting but upping the ante can be a useful tactic in other parts of life as well.

If you are worried about who your girlfriend is talking to on Facebook, giving her your password will challenge her to show the same trust in you thereby letting you satisfy your curiosity/insecurity.

7. Dealing with failure

dealing with failure

Even the best poker players lose sometimes and have to be able to handle it without chasing their losses and making it worse.

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In daily life, this can help you when you get knocked back by the girl you have been eyeing across the bar all night. It will remind you not to keep ordering more drinks and trying again in ever-more drunken fashion.

See Also: Why Temporary Defeat Is Not Permanent Failure

Superheroes are not real, but if you master these skills and apply them in life, few will doubt your superpowers in sticky real-life situations.

 

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