We all take responsibility for our actions; we feel guilty when we’re bad, and fulfillment when we’re good. Do you do the same for your feelings? Should you? I used to.

I alternated between priding myself on liking people and guilting myself for disliking them. Naturally, I rather preferred pride to guilt; I liked feeling virtuous, so I tried to force feelings of liking someone, or of respecting them, of forgiving, or of staying calm in the face of irritation.

This left me frustrated when I failed, and I carried a lot of guilt for feeling the “wrong” way.

Epiphany #1

Well, there’s power and there’s progress in updating your beliefs. As I grew older, the thought came to me: I wasn’t asking for my feelings, they came whether I wanted them or not! Consistent with scientific findings, I really, really couldn’t just use my willpower to make them be whatever I wanted, not well, and not for long (the emotional part of our brain, the Autopilot System, is much more powerful than the rational part, the Intentional System). So it was hardly fair to keep telling myself the feelings were my fault!

Besides, doing so often trapped me in this loop:

1. I felt down

2. So I tried to force myself to feel better

3. I failed

4. I blamed myself for failing

Of course, this just made me feel worse, which made me try even harder, with even less success — rinse, wash, repeat — until crippling despair permeates the soul.

Research finds this loop is common.I don’t think I ever suffered from depression, but I imagine if I did, it would have been hell to hold myself responsible for those feelings, to go through these cycles with even less control (and even less reason to blame myself for it all).

“Better,” I thought, “if I take responsibility for what I do about my feelings, rather than for the feelings themselves.”

So, instead of holding myself 100 percent responsible for my actions, and 100 percent responsible for my feelings, I decided it was better to hold myself 100 percent responsible for my actions, but 0 percent responsible for my feelings.

I let my feelings off their leash and wondered where all this calm suddenly came from, as I relearned how to relax. I no longer felt like the open moments in my day had to be spent making sure my feelings had been the “right way.”

I learned: Your feelings are valid. Your feelings are what they are. Do whatever is best to do, and let your feelings be. Let them come. And then let them pass, like the waves of the sea.

That way, my negative feelings faded sooner, more easily, than when I was trying to force them to go. I had less stress and extra energy for doing, once I stopped wasting it on how I was feeling.

But, my work was not yet done. If ever you’ve felt confident you knew what was what because you knew what wasn’t, I hope you can learn from my error, because my learning was incomplete.Remember, I shifted from 100 percent responsibility for my feelings to no responsibility, using the Intentional System we all have.

I still think this was mostly right.

The Problem with Epiphany #1

But I wasn’t entirely right. Because, from my earlier experiences, I knew — though I wasn’t thinking of it at the time — that trying to force your feelings can work. A little. Your feelings are not completely decoupled from your Intentional system. Just mostly, perhaps 90%.

See Also: 5 Quick Fixes To Improve Your Mental Health

Epiphany #2

If you try to push your feelings more than you should, it’s a slick slip down a steep slope into debilitating cycles of wasted willpower.

But. If you push — juuust a little, juuust enough, you can make a little headway against negative feelings.

The old idea “just have a positive attitude” sticks around because it works. Sort of. It’s also a sort of hideous thing to tell someone suffering depression, or to tell someone who’s already trying and failing, slipping down a cycle into despair, implying that they just aren’t trying hard enough, so what’s wrong with them. Don’t be the one who twists that knife.

But if you haven’t been trying at all, I can say from experience that it’s worth trying a little. Take about 10 percent responsibility for your feelings, and 100 percent responsibility for your actions. Be intentional to reach your goals.

“Let it be” and “man up” are not entirely at odds with each other. Generally, “let it be” is better for your feelings, and “man up” is better for your actions. And sometimes, oh so carefully, juuust a little, just 10 percent for your feelings, too. Perhaps something as simple as forcing yourself to smile, since it’s been found that your emotions will follow your actions.

But saying “big girls don’t cry” is just not helpful. It’s more focused on what’s convenient for everyone else, rather than what’s healthy for the person with tears running down her face, the one who needs help more than anyone.

Now, while different people need different advice, please remember that it’s much more dangerous trying to force too much than trying to force too little. Taking a little too much responsibility is much worse than taking too little, like drinking a little too much is worse than drinking a little less. If you tend to force too much, relax. Let it be. Let your feelings come, let them go. Focus on doing rather than feeling. Let yourself not be relaxed, not be calm, not be happy. Let feelings be what they are. When you’re rested up, you can try a little, being careful not to take it too far all over again.
If you’re not trying at all, you’re probably not in terrible shape. But I recommend making a little effort.

I once hurt someone I loved.

She had forgiven me, and we had worked things out…but still…I felt the weight of that error.
I felt pressured from every side, my will a thousand miles off, my psyche stretched thin…until it snapped. I didn’t want to try; I didn’t want to try to try, and it felt like I was supposed to feel that way.

I was wary of trying to push my feelings to be something they weren’t, but I gave it a tentative attempt. Like so:

1. I imagined how I would feel if I was over it. I gave myself permission to be over it. I was not “supposed” to feel this way.

2. I then acted like I did feel that way. I told myself I felt that way. I pushed my feelings. Juuust a little.

It worked great! A few times that day, the negative mood approached again, but I just made a small effort to resist it … and I felt just fine — and ever since, too. I call this putting a gossamer leash on my feelings. With a single strand of spider silk as a leash, I gently guided my emotions where I wanted them.

I recommend the same for you:

1) – Imagine how you want to feel,

and then

2) – Step into that feeling, that persona, that role.

Sometimes when I do this, I get a pushback as my feelings reassert themselves. When that happens, I let it. The leash is gossamer for a reason; if an emotion pulls away, it can break free.
When a bad feeling comes, push a little, see if it works, and then let it be.

Picture yourself doing it, see yourself stretching forward, breaking the bindings of negativity, listening to your feelings, and then letting them be. Put your feelings on a gossamer leash.

See Also: 3 Unconventional Ways Of Thinking That’ll Help You Change Yourself

Your destiny is shaped by your actions, not by your feelings. Whatever your feelings, you can make life wonderful.

Questions for Consideration:

Why would feeling guilty about your feelings lead to a cycle of worse feelings?

What would happen to someone suffering from depression if they did this?

How could letting your feelings go actually help them get better?

When in your life would it have helped you to know about this?

What might happen if we blame other people for how they feel?

Whom do you know that could benefit from this understanding?

 

The post Your Feelings Are Not Your Fault (Mostly) appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Do you want to adopt a zero-waste lifestyle?

One quite popular New Year’s resolution that is shared among the masses is the reduction of one’s carbon footprint. However, it is also one that is popularly forgotten or tossed to the side as the stresses that come along with a New Year come into play, full swing.

As we move forward into another year of technological advancements and exciting new innovations, let’s not forget about our inherent job as occupants of this great place we call home – Earth. Let us not forget that our job is to take care of our home and let us remind you (or inform you, in case you did not already know) that doing your part to protect our planet does wonders for your outlook on life.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make sure that you are pro-actively chipping in or doing your part in contributing to the preservation of the planet. Reducing your carbon footprint by living a zero waste waste lifestyle, is a great way to do your part in conserving this precious place we call home.

Here are 10 ways that you can better enjoy a low to no waste lifestyle.

One – Stop Drinking Bottled Water

Simple enough, right? In order to stop drinking bottled water all you have to do is, well, stop drinking bottled water. Easy.

Not only does ditching the plastic bottles do wonders for the environment, but it also saves you quite a bit of hassle. No more buying gallons or flats of bottles from the store and then having to lug them all the way into the house. No more filling up the recycling bin (hopefully!) with 40 empty plastic bottles a week.

Plus, were you aware that the mandates that regulate tap water are far stricter than those that oversee bottled water production? Tap water is also referred to as ‘hard water’. Bad for your appliances, yes, but great for you! That is right, ‘hard water’ indicates a high level of minerals present in the water, i.e. the ones that you pay extra money to be added to your bottled waters.

So, you are also saving money on something you were likely paying extra for before.

Two – Opt for Paperless Billing

If you have not already jumped on the paperless bandwagon, what are you waiting for? Paperless billing is so much more convenient, less cluttering for your brain and your home, and so much better for the environment than traditional paper bills (that you likely never pay via return envelope anyway).

Nearly every company today offers paperless billing that will allow you to view statements, charges, bills, etc. Anything related to the account you can view online. Pay your bills fast and easy with the simple click of a button!

Three – Stop Buying Newspapers

Staying in line with going paperless, do not forget to ditch the old fashioned newspaper and go green. Take advantage of this technologically advanced world we live in today and gain access to world news via free and paid apps or services like YipTV, which give you unlimited access to free news channels all over the world, plus they are updated by the minute. So, you can be sure that you stay informed on what matters to you, where it matters to you.

See Also: GO GREEN IN THE OFFICE: 4 guidelines for a brighter future

Four – Change Your Diet

Meat, dairy and eggs do quite a number on our environment. The meat industry in particular is responsible for 15 percent of all carbon emissions worldwide, according to conservative calculations. That equates to more than all of the cars, planes, ships and trucks in motion combined !

So, by simply adjusting your diet so that you do not support such a massive carbon footprint, you are actually doing more than you might think.

Five – Buy Local, Eat Seasonal

Buying locally grown and harvested produce is a great way to reduce your carbon footprint and not only that, but also support your local small business owners. Winning! Plus, you will get fresher produce, which is way better for you, as vitamin and mineral counts decrease as fruits and veggies age.

Eating seasonally ensures that you are getting fruits and veggies from close to home and not half way across the world – literally in some cases.

Six – Buy eBooks or Take Advantage of the Library

Yes, there is something special about traditional books – the smell, the feeling you get on the tips of your fingers from turning the pages, a charming collection on your otherwise empty bookshelf. We know, but, books are generally single use items and with the amount of paper that goes into each one (which by the way, turns out is not good for the environment) that makes them quite the source of pollution.

Not only are books made of paper, which comes from trees (which we need to produce clean oxygen), but paper needs water (one gallon per standard sized sheet) to be produced and water is a precious resource.

Seven – Recycle Everything You Can

Yes, that adorable holiday card that Aunt Betty sent four months ago was one-of-a-kind, but is it really something that you need to hang onto? Probably not.

If so, though, by all means, put it in a shoe box and save it for 25-30 years; but if it is not something that you must have (say for tax purposes), you should recycle it. Not only is recycling great for the environment and also helps to reduce your carbon footprint, but recycling everything you can will ultimately declutter your home and/or office too!

See Also: How to Find a Recycling Center Near Home

Eight – Buy to Replace, Not to Possess

Purchasing to replace, not to possess, will save you a lot of money, time, effort and miles. Spend your time doing things that matter more than shopping for something that you do not need. If there is something that you do need, then try and buy second hand or from local businesses.

Nine – Drive Less, Walk More

This might seem like a no-brainer, but the impact that is to be had on emission reductions worldwide if more people walked instead of drove makes it worth the mention. Walk or ride your bike when you can, this will not only reduce your carbon footprint, but it is also good for you and will make you feel healthier and better about yourself.

If you must travel long distances, take advantage of public transportation. There is no sense in putting another car on the road if not necessary.

Ten – Eliminate Phantom Power

Meaning, hook all of your appliances and electrical necessities up to power cords to make it easy to shut them all ‘off’ when not in use. You would be surprised at how much energy your things can use by just simply being plugged in!

So, there you have it. Ten simple, yet effective ways to live life less wastefully and improve your impact on the environment.

How do you live a zero-waste lifestyle? If you have pointers on how one can reduce their carbon footprint, while improving their quality of life, then please share! We would love to hear your suggestions!

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You start to feel tired and develop a case of the sniffles as you think to yourself that you simply can’t be getting a cold as you are way too busy. Frantic, you call your mom, trusted friend, or browse the Internet looking for natural remedies and popular treatments. But, it only takes a few minutes before you realize that folk remedies and online solutions have little, if any scientific basis.

Read on for six myths about the common cold that won’t speed up your recovery time.

MYTH #1 – You Can Sweat Out a Cold

Old wives’ tales include piling on clothes or blankets to sweat out a cold. However, that’s not effective as the virus just needs time to run its course through your system. Even so, do what you need to feel better, including eating chicken soup, keeping warm or using natural, effective remedies to relieve your symptoms.

MYTH #2 – Receiving a Flu Shot Means You Won’t Get Sick This Year…

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a flu shot prevents the flu about 50 to 60 percent of the time. If another strain of the virus attacks your body, the shot won’t work.

MYTH #3 – Get Up! You Have to Go to Work…

When you are run down, your body feels tired, and you want nothing more than to curl up under the covers. There’s a legitimate reason for your exhaustion — your body is trying to recover.

If you don’t get enough sleep, you risk compromising your immune system. You desperately need restorative sleep to heal.

See Also: 11 Odd but Simple Ways to Improve Your Health

For adults, this means seven or eight hours of sleep each night; teens should average nine or 10 hours a night. The need for sleep increases for younger children.

Though it can be hard to miss work, oftentimes your fellow employees will thank you for staying home. Not only do your coworkers want to avoid the virus you’re carting around, your body really does benefit from extra downtime at home.

MYTH #4 – You’ll Catch a Cold if You Don’t Wear Your Coat…

Actually, you can more easily catch a cold indoors as viruses cause them. Physical activity year round can help you build your immune system.

See Also: Twelve Surprising Uses for Vicks VapoRub

MYTH #5 – Eat What Your Appetite is Calling For…

Often times we hear that your body has the natural ability to let you know what it needs. If you’re craving red meat or dirt (weird..) you’re most likely low on iron. While this is fine and true, there are much more beneficial foods for your body that will help it heal than just the strange things you find yourself craving.

If you’re intentional about your eating, you can aid your body in overcoming a cold or flu faster.

Some interesting choices include:

Spicy salsa to break up congestion
Chicken soup — yes, really!
Yogurt to increase probiotic production
Broccoli and red peppers for extra Vitamin C and
Sweet potatoes containing loads of Vitamin A.

MYTH #6 – All You Can do is Let The Cold/Flu Run its Course…

You can speed up your recovery process by paying attention to what you eat. Avoid caffeine and alcohol as these can dehydrate you. Stay away from sugar as it can promote infections and inflammation. Milk and dairy are also known to increase mucus production so it’s beneficial to avoid that, as well.

 

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According to a recent Bankrate survey, about two thirds of millennials don’t own a credit card. But most savvy budgeters, the ones that consider themselves “good with money,” know how to take advantage of credit cards – and you should too. Not just because you can earn valuable rewards like 2% cash back or airline miles.

Below are 9 other reasons why you should reconsider your wariness and

1) Build credit

56% of US consumers have subprime credit scores which can cost tens of thousands of dollars over the course of a mortgage, or can reflect poorly when applying to rent an apartment or lease a car. Using a credit card responsibly and paying your bill on time is the fastest, easiest, and only free way to improve your credit. Building your credit is important and takes time, so start now.

2) Better security

Bringing a credit card with you is more secure than bringing along a debit card. This is because when your credit card is stolen, it’s the bank’s money. However, when it’s a debit card that’s stolen, we’re talking about risking your money. In this scenario, you will have to wait until the bank fixes the problem before you can get to your funds.

3) Extended Warranties

That 1 year warranty on your new MacBook? Could be two years if you purchase it with a credit card. Many issuers will extend the manufacturer’s warranty by another year – one of the lesser known and underutilized benefits of credit cards.

4) Purchase Protection

Similarly, credit cards may reimburse you if a purchase you made with the card is lost or stolen within 90 days. Or maybe you just don’t like your purchase, but the store won’t take it back? Many credit cards offer return protection as well.

5) No hold on your account

A lot of institutions put a hold on your account for more than just what you bought. These include car rental companies, hotels, and even gas stations.

If you use a debit card, you won’t have access to these funds until the hold is cleared, and this sometimes takes a few days.

6) Rental car protection

That expensive collision insurance rental car companies try to sell you is likely already covered, for free, if you use your credit card to pay for the rental.

7) Travel protections

Many credit cards also offer protection if you have to cancel your trip, if your baggage is lost or delayed, or your flight is delayed or canceled – even in situations due to weather where the airline will not reimburse you. You can even get free emergency roadside car assistance.

8) Price protection

See that big screen TV you just bought on sale somewhere else for less? Your credit card may reimburse you the difference.

9) Exclusive invites and perks

Your card may offer a host of other perks as well, including concert ticket pre-sales, special discounts and offers, or access to exclusive events just for cardholders. Also, many travel cards some with perks such as elite status for a hotel chain, or early boarding privileges with the airline.

See Also: What Happens to Credit Card Debt When One Dies?

Not all credit cards have all these benefits, so make sure you check the terms and conditions first. Find one that is good for you, and try to avoid ones with annual fees (unless you plan to take full advantage of the additional perks the card offers), especially with your first credit card.

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If you’re in need of immediate cash and have a decent credit score, most banks and NBFCs will be willing to offer you a Personal Loan. Personal Loan eligibility varies from one lender to another and is based on your income, credit score, age, and financial stability. You also need to possess important documents like KYC certificates, salary slips, and IT return forms.

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Can I be honest with you?

Most of the brain-boosting hobbies you’ve heard of are useless.

They require tons of time, and you’ll die of boredom years before becoming a pro.

Yes, you’d like to become a virtuoso on the violin. You’d love to run a marathon. And it’d be amazing to speak Mandarin.

But frankly, you don’t have an extra hour each day to devote to learning a new skill.

But still. You want to become smarter in your free time.

The good news? Plenty of hobbies improve reasoning skills and memory without taking much time. Even better, all are supported by research (even a weird study that involved stepping on poker chips—more on that later).

Start one or more of these in the few spare minutes you have—and skyrocket your intellect.

1. Make a fist every day

No, literally. Make a fist. It makes you smarter.

Multiple studies show a strong correlation between your grip and mental ability.

In the paper “Getting a Grip on Memory”, researchers found making a fist improves cognitive performance.

Specifically, clenching the left hand improves right hemisphere brain function, and vice-versa. Just making a fist before a job interview question might help you think more clearly.

There’s a long-term benefit to improving your grip strength, too.

Over the course of eight years, researchers tracked 550 people aged 79 to 87. They measured the grip strength and nonverbal reasoning of the participants three times during the study.

The surprising conclusion: grip strength and memory were “significantly correlated” in old age.

We already know physical activity improves your mind, but you don’t have to sweat for hours on the crunch machine.

Just develop your grip strength.

2. Acquaint yourself with this drink

Want to be the guy or gal everyone goes to for beverage recommendations?

Become a hot chocolate expert.

According to research published in Neurology, drinking hot cocoa may improve cognitive function. In the study, sixty older people drank hot chocolate twice a day for 30 days.

Healthy patients didn’t change during the brief study period, but those with blood flow problems improved memory and thinking skill.

Researchers believe an antioxidant in cocoa called flavanol led to the boost. The caffeine in cocoa can help too, provided you drink it after developing a skill. A study in Nature Neuroscience found caffeine enhances long-term memory after learning.

Sugar helps, too. It improves performance on demanding mental tasks according to an article in the British Journal of Nutrition.

Hot chocolate is perfect for your brain. Who knew?

See Also: 15 Healthy Foods That Can Make You Smarter

3. Do more web surfing and YouTube browsing

Research has shown internet browsing, even when you’re not trying to learn, might just be valuable.

One study showed that in older individuals, the internet could stave off the effects of mild cognitive impairment.

Researchers tracked how participants took part in various activities, including surfing the web, playing computer games, and making online purchases. The people who participated in these types of activities reduced the risk of cognitive impairment in later life.

In another study, researchers split older adults into two groups.

One group could watch a 20-minute montage of America’s Funniest Home Videos from YouTube. (To be precise: “100 Falling People, Part 1” and “100 Falling People, Part 2,” according to the paper.)

The other group sat in a room alone and was not allowed to read, talk, or use a cell phone.

The result? On a later test, the humor group’s learning ability improved by 38%, and their delayed recall improved by 44%.

So yes, hilarious videos of people falling over can make you smarter.

See Also: Use Your Brain: 7 TV Shows That Will Make You Smarter

4. Pour yourself a glass (or three)

There’s a large body of research proving smart people drink more.

Experts analyzed alcohol consumption and IQ across 99 countries and found a distinct correlation. The study focused on countries from Azerbaijan to Zambia, and controlled for factors like income and religion.

Still, the effect was evident. If you have a high IQ, you are “more likely to consume alcoholic beverages.” But just because smart people do it, doesn’t mean you will become smarter.

Or does it?

One study showed that if you drink one to three glasses of champagne each week, it might boost your memory and slow aging. Another study showed that older people who drank in moderation had better episodic memory compared to non-drinkers.

Have a toast—to your brain!

5. Start running (but don’t wear these)

Want an exercise hobby that helps your intellect? Go running. But run without shoes.

In a study conducted at the University of North Florida, researchers instructed 72 people to jog along a 200-meter circular track. Oh, and poker chips were strewn across their path.

Participants ran four laps: twice wearing shoes and twice barefoot. In one lap of each, researchers told participants to step on the poker chips. In the other, the researchers removed the poker chips.

Participants scored better on a working memory test after running barefoot and stepping on the poker chips. Researchers concluded your brain works harder when considering where to place your feet, especially when you can feel the consequences.

Want to increase the benefit? Run in nature.

A separate study compared participants who walked in nature to those who walked in the city. Results showed participants improved their performance on a memory test by 20% after spending time in natural surroundings.

6. Hone your debate skills… on Facebook

Arguing about the president on Facebook is worthwhile? Yes, and you might boost your brain by making it your hobby.

A recent study showed we have an exceptional memory of what happens on social media.

Participants looked at Facebook posts and two control items. The results were astonishing: people recalled items on Facebook better than real faces and actual books.

The recall difference was equal to that between amnesiacs and those with an able memory.

Debating could help improve your mind even more. A different study of eight- and nine-year-olds provides a clue.

The children learned and practiced “exploratory talk,” in which you challenge ideas and provide reasoning. In other words, you create and defend an argument. The kids’ scores saw dramatic improvement on a nonverbal reasoning test after this debate practice.

7. Go to the mall, and shop for this

You know a new outfit makes you feel better.

Just recently, science discovered it makes you think better, too. In the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers showed how you dress changes how you think.

In the study, participants wore a lab coat while doing a task that demanded their full attention.

When researchers said it was a doctor’s coat, people did better than when told it belonged to a painter. The researchers termed the effect “enclothed cognition” to describe the way clothes change how we think.

What about shopping? According to Gary Small, M.D., director of UCLA’s Longevity Center, mall shopping can stimulate different parts of your brain.

Walking around, talking to others, and comparing prices combine to boost your cognitive abilities.

8. Start this sport-that-isn’t-a-sport

Want a hobby none of your friends will expect?

Look no further than a study published in Perceptual and Motor Skills.

Researchers divided participants into three groups. One group watched a lecture, another did yoga, and a third climbed trees.

The researchers wanted to see if learning or moving in isolation improved brain function.

But neither of those groups performed as well as the tree-climbing folks.

Why? Researchers believe the secret is moving while responding to stimuli. Climbing a tree, for instance, while making sure that teetering branch isn’t about to send you tumbling.

The truth about brain-boosting hobbies

Yes, true mastery of any hobby can be difficult. Many of those activities take years or even decades.

But when you choose the right hobbies, it’s much easier.

Start today and round up a friend to start with you. Without spending years or even hours, research says you’ll become smarter.

The post 8 Little-known Hobbies Proven to Make You Smarter in Minutes appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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It’s 8:00 am and you’re rushing out the door to work and you’re pretty sure you have everything.

Laptop…check!
Cell phone…check!
Organic, fair trade, single source, shade-grown coffee in spill-proof cup…check!

And thankfully your underwear is on the right side of your pants (We’re talking to you here, Superman!). All that’s left is to grab your keys and you’re out the door.

But the keys are nowhere to be found. Checked on the table, by the microwave, on your nightstand.

Nada.

Zip.

It’s like they grew little key legs and went and hid under the couch.

Now you’re running late. It’s first thing in the morning and you’re already stressed out.

If this sounds like you then you’re not alone, and I’ve got a solution for you.

It’s easier than you think…

You’ve Got Too Much on Your Mind

The problem is that this isn’t a one-time thing. Today it was your keys, yesterday it was your cell phone, and tomorrow it will be your socks.

You get plenty of advice like “you need to stop being so absent-minded” or “try to be more mindful” or “why don’t you put your stuff where you can find it?”.

And you’re thinking: Really? Hmm, I never thought of that!

They don’t get it.

You’ve got millions of things on your mind all the time between work (Do we really need to have 5 meetings a day; when am I supposed to do my actual JOB?), the house (that faucet is STILL leaking) and the family (have to send Mom a card by Tuesday so that it arrives by Mother’s Day and the kids have soccer AND baseball practice this week).

You’ve also got a stack of dry-cleaning that has to go and there’s that weird smell in the car that you have to investigate.

Can I Take 5?

You’re pretty sure that if you could get just a bit of time to focus on yourself, you could get things organized.  Your place would look like a show home:  there would be a place for everything and everything in its place.

The problem is that’s never going to happen so you have to limp along and spend every morning on your hands and knees trying to find whatever it is that you’ve lost. You could try the “Honey, do you know where that thing is?” but that’s not as helpful as you might like.

So here’s the trick: Name That Thang!

Any time you are going to put anything down, before you let it go, look at it and say its name out loud. The memory you generate with that important 1 second will sear that item’s location into your brain.

For example, say you just got home and you want to put your keys down somewhere (it doesn’t matter where).

Look at the keys and say “KEYS” as you place them on the table, or behind the microwave or in the fish tank (hey, who am I to judge?).

It is an absolute certainty that when you need those keys tomorrow, you will know exactly where they are. There will be no stress as you stride directly to your not-so-secret hiding spot and retrieve your keys with a big smile on your face.

And it doesn’t just work with your keys. Try it with your cell phone or the remote for the Blu-Ray player or your wallet or even a slow-moving pet (think turtle; cats, not so much).

And just think of the immediate benefits: there’s no spike in stress from having lost something (again), you’re more relaxed and you don’t need to be worried about what the next morning’s going to be like.

You are a picture of calm in an ocean of chaos.

Even better, not having this worry and stress every morning frees up your mental energy for other things.  This one little trick could be a keystone habit that opens up a whole range of possibilities for goodness in your life.

See Also: 5 Quick and Easy Memory Tricks

The sky’s the limit!

Over to you. Does this little trick work for you? Please share your experiences in the comments area.

 

 

The post Never Lose Anything Again with this Simple Trick! appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Life creates various circumstances which either become an achievement for us or a learning. Learning, because setbacks would be too harsh a word to define the results of our mistakes.

“A story is how we construct our experiences.”

Doris Lessing 

How you think of yourself and where you place your self-worth is directly related to your experiences and what you gather from those experiences. Every action and the following consequence defines how you judge yourself – thus creating a self-esteem and image of yourselves.

More often than not, you struggle to have high self-esteem because you link it with happiness. People who tend to have lower self-esteem think they are unworthy and undeserving of a lot of things in life including happiness and eventually never manage to achieve them.

Is there a way to tackle lower self- esteem?

Yes, positive attitude and a lot of practice to control your inner voice (which constantly criticizes you!) can uplift your self-esteem.

Listed below is what really affects our self-esteem and how to change them for our betterment.

Overthinking and Over-Analysing

Most of you will agree when I say that dwelling in the past and contemplating the possible future mishaps tops the list of things which brings us down.

The voice in our head loves putting things in our minds on which we have little or no control. However, we have to face that we can neither change the past nor forge a future of our choice.

Solution: What you can do instead is control what you do today to create a brighter possibility of the future. Take it one day at a time!

Perfection

When you run after perfection, you not only create a false image of how the results should be but also base your happiness on it.

Running after perfection and thus making it a pre-requisite for your happiness is doing more harm than you could imagine.

Solution: Once your job is good enough, that’s when you should stop. Devoting all your time to one project wondering if your boss/colleague/professor will like it or not doesn’t help.

Avoid constantly poking at your capabilities. Doing so will hold your own self guilty and thus lead to lower self-esteem!

Comparing Yourself with Everybody

You think your colleague who got promoted because of her hard work has everything you don’t. You are probably right!

But not the in way you think.

Maybe she has had a bad childhood or is struggling with body image but still manages to cope up and puts her best into her work.

You have no idea how others’ life has been and maybe they are still coping up. Stop comparing and start appreciating.

Solution: Beating yourself down because a colleague does better than you makes no sense. Instead, focus on things which will make you better and thus help you be promoted too!

Count your own blessings.

The more you compare yourself with others, the lower you value your capabilities. Who knows? Subconsciously you lose your strengths too!

Negativity

Your inner critic will always be sabotaging your actions and their outcomes.

“It’s your fault”, “You should’ve done better”, “You cannot do it – you’re too scared”, etc.

It really never ends unless you make it stop. Don’t’ let the negativity get you.

Solution: Name your inner critic and stop it the moment it starts bombarding you with discouragements. Shut that voice down. It is your choice! Appreciate yourself.

See Also: Do You Have What It Takes? Take The Confidence Test!

Look At the Bigger Picture

Ask yourself, “Will this failure be as important as I’m making it now a year later?”

If you can’t seem to find an answer or if the answer is no, let it go. Everybody makes mistakes. They just choose to show their successes. Playing a victim to your own actions will lead you nowhere.

Solution: Helping others or contributing to someone’s happiness is the best therapy you can get yourself. It is satisfying as well as it gives you a sense of purpose and reduces your own worries thus stabilizing your self-esteem.

Forgive Yourself

Give yourself another chance or if possible, completely forgive yourself and accept that mistakes and goof-ups happen. That’s okay to happen!

Just like everybody else, you deserve better chances too. Give yourself those chances.

Solution: Self compassion is a great trait to be developed. Once you’re compassionate towards your failures and shortcomings, you realize your strengths and even give space to your weaknesses to be changed.

Appreciate Yourself

Being critical about your own failures and shortcomings can not only bring you down but also stop you from trying again.

Solution: Self affirmations and introspection lets you delve into the depths of your own self and realize that you can grow into a better person once you forgive your mistakes and appreciate your strengths.

Start listing down the good qualities you have in you every day and work on growing rather than finding faults. The result will be a pleasant surprise and a genuine ascent in your self-esteem!

Get Over Your Fears

Too often, it is the fear inside us that holds us back. Our fears determine our challenges and the ability to effectivlty handle them.

Fear of being not good enough, fear of being talked down, fear of not being appreciated at all, fear of rebuke, fear of failure – makes our self-esteem weaker.

Solution: Take that step to conquer your fear. Forget about how your friend will think when you say “No” to something which you don’t want to do. Do what you love and validate yourself.

See Also: 5 Steps to Regaining Confidence

Emotional Health

Having low self esteem for too long a time sometimes results in depression. That is a fatal stage to be in.

Solution: When nothing seems to work, get help. Find friends and family who genuinely help you with your problems. If not, become your own friend – be honest and kind to yourself!

The post 9 Ways to Tackle Low Self-Esteem with a Positive Attitude appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Nobody ever plans to get sick or injured, but unfortunately, that often happens without warning.  A good health insurance plan will help you cover the cost of illnesses and many other difficulties that might affect your financial security over the course of your life.

This insurance helps people pay for their health car, making it easier by not putting the entire financial burden on them. When you have health insurance and get hurt or sick then your policy will be a blessing since a certain percentage of the medical and care bills will be paid by your insurance company.

A good health insurance policy is often one of the most crucial parts of a well-planned retirement portfolio since healthcare costs become higher as you get older.

What are the Benefits of Health Insurance?

Like any other type of insurance, you need to choose a plan and pay a set rate or premium each month. Health insurance companies do have various policies and rates but at the end of the day, they all offer the same basic benefits like these below:

• Health insurance can pay for some of your medical costs.
• It helps you keep your health strong because insurance companies often recommend preventive care services and include wellness tools that they suggest you use.
• It can help you get tax credit so you have financial help in paying for your health insurance premium.

While those are just the basics, there is much more that health insurance can help you with. Some of the more detailed benefits of a good health insurance policy include:

Protection Against Unexpected Medical Costs

Health insurance provides you with important financial help and protects your savings when you have a serious accident, illness or injury.

Medical care for a broken leg can cost $700-$8000, a three-day stay at the hospital can go up to $30,000, and for terminal illnesses like cancer, the expenses can go into the hundreds of thousands. With proper health insurance, you can protect yourself from a portion of these costs.

Coverage of Essential Health Benefits

A good health insurance policy covers the following services:

• Ambulatory Care

Services that give you Outpatient care without having to admit you into the hospital.

• Emergency Services

In the case of an accident or lethal injury, you will be taken care of from the moment you arrive at the hospital till you depart.

• Hospitalization

Expenses in case you require surgery or have to stay in the hospital for a few days.

• Childbirth

Care during your pregnancy as well as before and after birth, both for the mother and the child.

• Mental Health Care and Substance Use

Care for someone who has mental health disorders or need behavioral health treatment. It also includes physiotherapy.

• Rehabilitative and Facilitative Services

Services and methods designed to help those with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses and mental health problems.

• Prescription Drugs

The medicines you need for treating everything from a minor to the serious ailment.

• Lab Services

Tests and diagnostic services at any stage of your treatment.

• Preventive and Wellness Services

Services to help you achieve better health.

• Pediatric Health Services

Health care for children, ranging from injury/illness treatment to preventative checkups.

Free Preventive Care

Most health insurance policies have a set of preventive care plans which cover essential shots and screening tests with no cost expected from you. It takes into account all adults and children and includes everything from regular general examinations to cancer screening.

See Also: Win The Life Insurance Game: Do These 4 Things Before Getting Your Physical

What Happens If You Have No Health Insurance?

The biggest problem for people without a good health insurance plan is that they end up paying the full amount for their healthcare when they need it. This can deplete your savings, leaving you in debt and struggling to meet the costs which could have been avoided through a good healthcare plan.

See Also: Eat Amazing (and Healthy) for $50/Month

Without health insurance, you’re open to the high costs associated with health care, which is dangerous because these may lead to being trapped in heavy debt or even bankruptcy.

The post What To Look For In A Good Health Insurance Plan appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Ready to hear some amazing dream facts?

Raise your hand if you have found your nose stuck between books trying to understand Freud’s theories or various other interpretations to try to decipher some wild dream. Well, no shame there!

Dreams are intriguing realms of our brains. These manifestations are sometime inspired by our imagination and often by our lived experiences. In any case, they have continued to interest scientists, doctors, psychologists and laity for decades now.

Whether you know, what your dreams exactly mean or not, knowing some lesser-known facts about them is sure to satiate some of your curiosity:

1. Do I know you?

You can never meet ‘new’ people in your dreams. When you see a person in your dream, regardless of whether you recognise them or not, they are cannot be a figment of your imagination.

This means that our brain is incapable of conjuring up faces on its own. The faces that you see in your dreams are those that your brain has registered, consciously or sub-consciously, at some point.

2. Lucid Dreaming

An interesting manifestation of dreaming is lucid dreaming. As the name suggests, a person is aware that they are dreaming in such a state. They are able to interact with and control their surroundings in contrast to passive dreaming, where they are mere observers.

This psychological phenomenon has amused scientists for a long time who have developed certain techniques to train the mind to lucid dream.

3. I Knew It!

People often report that they had a premonition about a future event in a dream and have attached several superstitions to this belief. Scientists call this precognitive dreaming.

Credulity aside, this can be explained simply by the fact that a large number of events happen every day and for some dream of yours to corroborate with a recent event is not improbable. The most quoted example of precognitive dreaming is of Abraham Lincoln having dreamt of his own assassination!

4. The Science Of It

Scientist have been enchanted with how varied our dreams can be in terms of imagery and brain function. This has led to the development of the specialized science of Oneirology, which insists on understanding how our brain functions when we are dreaming.

The results of such research can lead to a better understanding of how dreams help in memory building and also give us a deeper insight into certain mental disorders.

5. Somnambulism

Yes, there is a fancy word for sleepwalking. It literally breaks down as- ‘somn’ from Latin Somnus, meaning sleep and ‘amble’, the Latin word for ‘to walk’. It is an extreme form of sleep disorder where people become capable of walking around, while still asleep. Not just that, people are known to have performed activities during sleepwalking, which they have neither skill for nor recollection of when they wake up!

A rather interesting example of such somnambulism is from London, where a 15-year girl climbed a 130-foot construction crane, all while sleepwalking!

See Also: 7 Sleeping Tips to Boost the Quality of Your Sleep

6. Dreaming Blind

The imagery in our dreams in based on what we see every day in real life. But due to their lack of the sense of sight, blind people experience reality and hence dreaming, differently from those who can see.

Congenitally blind people have heightened auditory, olfactory and tactile senses when they are dreaming. They also report of more nightmares, which scientists have linked to the difficulties they face in getting by in real life.

7. Game On!

Dr. Jayne Gackenbach of the MacEwan University led an extensive research programme to conclude that video game players tend to exercise more control over their dreams. This also makes gamers excellent candidates for lucid dreaming as they are attuned to responding to virtual reality.

Another conclusion she drew from a 2008 study was that gamers cope better with nightmares in comparison to non-gamers. This is because they are used to problem-solving and fighting back when faced with a scary or sticky situation, as they do when playing a game.

You now have the perfect excuse for the next time your parents ask you to turn off that Xbox!

8. Boost Creativity

Researchers at Harvard Medical School suggest that dreaming is an essential process to boost creativity and learning. Through dreams, the brain processes newly acquired information and integrates it.

This is one of the reasons why people with serious REM disorders, which render them incapable of dreaming, face serious creative retardation. So, listen to your mother the next time she asks you to have a good night’s sleep before an exam.

9. So Many Dreams, So Little Time

In the course of their lifetime, an average person can have as many as 100,000 dreams. You can have as many as seven different dreams on a single night.

This number is quite large considering that we can dream for only the duration of the REM cycle of our sleep which tends to last not more than 2 hours.

10. Oh Baby!

Women with children are more prone to nightmares than pregnant women or women who have no children. Understandably, these nightmares pertain to bad things that can happen to their children.

 

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