You’re reading 6 Questions to Help You Find Your Tribe, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We make many choices that mold our personalities, but none are quite as important as the people we choose to be around.

As motivational speaker Jim Rohn put it, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This doesn’t mean you’re not the architect of your personality — you just need to make smart choices about those surrounding you.

Choosing good company can be a tricky balancing act. We need many things from our friends and associates, including competition, honest feedback, moral support, and good judgment. I am a competitive person, for instance, and like to surround myself with people who make me want to push a little harder or reach a little higher. Alone, I might not feel the need to make that extra effort, but with the right people around me, I have the energy to go further.

Rarely do I find one person who has all the qualities I’m looking for, but that’s normal. You need an inner circle of people who complement your strengths and help you improve your weaknesses. You don’t want people who tear you down or diminish your accomplishments out of jealousy — you want a group that helps you discover the best version of yourself.

Ask the Right Questions to Find Your Tribe

So how do you cultivate the right group? Fortunately, it’s not as hard as it sounds. You just need to ask the right questions to identify the right people to help you grow. Start with these six.

1. Who inspires me?

Who makes you want to be a better leader, a better coach, and a better person? Is this person excellent at what he does? It doesn’t matter whether he’s in the same field — what matters is that you can draw inspiration from his tenacity, creative spirit, and heart.

Whether you want to be a better business leader, a better friend, or a more active member of the community, ask yourself what kind of person you want to be to seek out individuals who inspire you to be that person.

What you don’t want is someone who will drag you down with his negativity. Negative feelings can be motivating to a point, but they ultimately do more harm than good.

2. Who teaches me?

Who makes you approach problems in different ways? Who stretches you emotionally? Who asks insightful questions?

We learn the most from people who ask questions that make us stop and re-evaluate our situation. When I’m with a client and I hear, “No one’s ever asked me that question before,” I know we’re about to have a productive conversation. Find people who challenge your views in a friendly way, and start spending more time with them.

3. Whom can I teach?

Who is open to learning? Who wants to know more? Who is willing to explore things in new ways and accept your guidance?

Teachers help us grow, but being a teacher can also deliver valuable insights. When we’re forced to explain something or coach someone, we learn more about ourselves and the subject matter we’re communicating. I coach agency owners every day, and the exchange of wisdom goes both ways. Usually, I’m learning just as much from the interaction as my clients, and it helps me improve.

4. Who celebrates me?

Who’s your cheerleader? Who reminds you how awesome you are?

There are few things as valuable as a friend who believes in you. When the daily grind becomes too much, you need a lifesaver, someone who can remind you of your best qualities.

We all too easily take the good parts of ourselves for granted, so surround yourself with friends who see you more clearly than you see yourself and can verbalize their support in a way that makes you believe in yourself, too.

5. Who will call me out?

Who’s brave enough to be honest? Who cares enough to alert you when you’ve gone off course?

Even the best of us make mistakes. We need people around us who care enough to speak up when we step out of line or make a judgment error. This person needs to be able to take it when we react poorly to feedback and forgive us for losing sight of the bigger picture. While honesty is invaluable, just make sure not to mistake an overly critical person for an honest one.

6. Who brings me joy?

Who sees the best of you in everything you do and points it out to you? Who makes you laugh so hard you cry? Who fills you with happiness?

The people who bring you true joy are rare — don’t let their presence in your life be accidental. Bring them in close, and keep them around.

To be the best version of yourself, be intentional about who you spend your time with and who you open up to. No matter how successful you are, you can always get a little better, a little bolder, a little stronger, and a little kinder. Ponder these questions to discover the friends and colleagues who will help you become the person you want to be.

You’ve read 6 Questions to Help You Find Your Tribe, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable? 10 Facts You’re Not Quite Sure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“Comfort zone” is considered to be psychological space of a human being in which he feels relaxed. This zone is called comfortable due to the fact that everything that happens within it is predictable.

Spending time in this space does not bring about strong emotions and feelings. Predictability allows using a limited set of behavioral reactions and does not require new decisions and actions. That is the moment you stay in the comfort zone when people find out nothing new for themselves, at the same time using only the knowledge and resources possessed.

Comfort zone for adults

The adoption of new solutions for adults is often associated with stress. It can be seen, for example, when purchasing goods or services. If you hadn’t an experience of acquiring a particular category of goods or services, then you would feel insecure and not confident. The cause of stress is related to an individual’s attitude towards the world, other people and expectations.

Comfort zone for children

Children do not feel stressed because world understanding has not formed yet, and each performed action is cognition and study of their capabilities. The absence of stress in children’s life suggests that limiting of some directions is the main cause of comfort zone existence. Directions include certain feelings, such as: fear, guilt, shame, peace, joy, etc. Memories connected with these feelings act for us a stimulus to the commitment or refraining from action. For example, if sales for a person are associated with guilt, which he experienced in childhood, that person will avoid this sphere of activity or will bring this feeling into his work.

Everybody strives for homeostasis (balance). Psychological balance is an important component of your daily life. In case of any new event when the person does not know what to expect, the body feels instability and danger. To avoid this danger you can turn to directions that form the boundary of your comfort zone and keep us well.

Why you need to step out of your comfort zone?

1. You will never know something new without trying.

You can spend a lot of time trying to guess how the life could have turned in a particular case that happened. But you will never learn if you don’t try personally. History repeatedly gives us examples. The great discoveries and achievements were made when people decided to come out of their comfort zone when risking.

Each of us can make a decision to take the risk, but will this risk bring some benefit? For instance, you are a designer and have recently read about new styles and trends. You would like to try something, but you have become so accustomed to the old ones that even such a thought is frightening. Don’t be afraid if something does not work, then you will have an opportunity to return to the old ways. It is possible to expand the network. While dating you need to meet and personally communicate with a person, but you really feel uncomfortable in such situations. But leaving your comfort zone allows you to learn how to work in a team and to reach a new level.

2. You will not evolve and will remain at the same level of development.

Life is a series of specific events and decisions, which teach us to be stronger, give experience and knowledge allow you to cope with some tasks easier. But if you are afraid to go out of your comfort zone, no development will be.

Very often people having reached some kind of a stage or step, refuse to go forth. You believe that a bird in the hand is better than a crane in the sky. You are afraid to take risks, to try new things, set new goals. And this fear, at first glance seems absolutely understandable. Why dream about something, after all, and now all is well. But as soon as you stop setting goals for yourself, you will slowly but surely fade away. Your life will be boring, monotonous, routine. Home, work, home that’s what awaits people who chose “bird” and not want to get out of their comfort zone.

3. Errors are the best teachers.

The main reason why most people are afraid to leave their comfort zone is fear to make mistakes and to lose everything what they have. But mistakes, as mentioned above, are not always bad things. I would even say that it’s great that in your life were situations which caused you to make errors. Any failure is, first and foremost, a lesson to become better, to know ourselves, to understand how to act in a given situation.

If you learn how to analyze mistakes, if you take lessons from them, then you will completely forget what is comfort zone, stop being afraid to do some unusual things, to take the most ambitious and radical solutions.

4. You are too shy and doubtful.

This means that you are afraid of trying some new experiences and emotions, you are unhappy with the current situation. Try new challenges!

5. Starting conversation first  – it’s not about you.

You have doubts and indecisiveness before talking to strangers, this isn’t ok.

6. Refusing to do something unusual.

Don’t hesitate, agree to someone’s respond to help him doing something not familiar to you.

7. Procrastination is your main feature.

You often complain about unpleasant factors, you usually don’t do things in time. Something always holds you back.

8. If/When are your favorite words.

Your main feature is using words of negative connotation, such as: can’t or, for instance, won’t. You are to change these words with more positive ones – should or could.

9. You don’t strive for success.

10. New achievements – aren’t your main goals.

All in all, it is clear that you need to pay attention to this issue due to the fact these factors can influence your life greatly, you don’t set new goals.

Don’t forget: development is a life’s driving force!

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Marta Trenton is a graduate student and an inspired blogger at Tuko.co.ke. 5 years ago she started writing her own short stories on a wide range of topics including education and information technologies. Marta finds travelling a great way to get back to what’s really important in life. You can follow her on Twitter.

You’ve read Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable? 10 Facts You’re Not Quite Sure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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