5 Things To Give Up Right Now If You Want To Be Happy

You’re reading 5 Things To Give Up Right Now If You Want To Be Happy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“I just want to be happy”

How many times have you heard someone say those words to you?

Maybe you’ve said them to yourself a few times too.

The truth is: we’re all on this constant search for happiness; however, when we do find it, it’s often short-lived. So why is that something that is so important to us is also so hard to get?

The short answer is that when you try to achieve happiness by obtaining it, it’s often temporary. Far too often, we look for quick fixes that provide temporary moments of joy such as a new car, a bigger house, or our much desired promotion.

What if I told you that you could gain a more permanent state of happiness by giving things up rather than obtaining them?

Giving things up that cause stress, anxiety, feelings of uneasiness and other factors that can contribute to a sense of unhappiness is a key component in creating long term happiness.

Here are five things that you can give up if you want to be happy:

  1. Complaining

Complaining can be an easy way to blow off steam; however, too much of it can be damaging to yourself and those around you. Complaining is one of those behaviors that feeds itself. By constantly talking about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs.

While expressing your concerns once in awhile can be viewed as a healthy and therapeutic outlet, a constant display of your frustrations will only fuel your unhappiness and drive others away.

  1. Limiting beliefs

We often assume that happy people never have limiting beliefs – that they’re always happy – and never struggle with their decisions or confidence. The truth is no matter how happy you’re, there will still be moments where you experience thoughts of uncertainty.

The difference is that those that experience happiness often handle their limiting beliefs better than others. Bring awareness to your limited beliefs, embrace them, and use them as an opportunity to grow.

  1. Dwelling on the Past

When you think about past events, chances are they’re not healthy or positive. Negative thoughts are the quickest way to kill your happiness. Dwelling on the past will keep you focusing on the “what ifs” and “how comes.”

Living in the past will not only tamper with your happiness, but also induce feelings of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. The past, present, and future are all temporary states and should be treated as such. Instead of wondering what could have been, focus on creating the change now.

  1. Blaming Others

Unhappy people find no shame in blaming others when something goes wrong. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they point the finger in the opposite direction. They find it difficult to believe that the situation they are in is due to their own choices.

It’s okay to be wrong. In fact, most people find it admiral when you choose to “fall on your sword.” Being able to accept responsibility for your actions is a clear indication that you’re comfortable with however the outcome turns out, which can also be interpreted as a sign of happiness.

  1. Resistance to Change

One of Ben Franklin’s most famous quotes is “Nothing is certain except death and taxes.” Although true, there is one more certainty in life: that’s change. Change is inevitable and being willing to adapt to change is a critical factor in determining your happiness.

People who resist change focus on the problem, not the solution. Instead of embracing change they revolt, which only fuels more negativity – making the situation worse – and making themselves even more unhappy. Life is all about change. The sooner you learn to embrace it, the happier you’ll be.


After overcoming a medical trauma, Gary has been inspiring others to overcome their challenges. For more inspiration and to learn more about his story, visit laughatadversity.com

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6 Simple Tweaks To Live A Happy Life

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What makes you happy? Have you ever thought of why some people are living a happy life, and why some are not? It really seems like a simple question, yet many people wake and sleep without feeling any sense of happiness in their life. According to a recent research by Harris Poll, only one out of three Americans says they are very happy.

While there are many factors that could be responsible for non-happiness, such as our day-to-day activities, relationship, depression etc.

Below therefore, are 6 simple tweaks to live a happy life:

1. Finish whatever you start

A write-up by Seth Borenstein on a study about  procrastination, he said after 10 years of research on a project that was supposed to take only 5 years, a Canadian industrial psychologist found in a giant study that not only is procrastination on the rise, it makes people poorer, fatter and unhappier.

In the same study Still also said, “People who procrastinate tend to be less healthy, less wealthy and less happy.” Achieving a task is a great way to self happiness. Do you have the habit of starting projects and not  finishing them? If so, it’ll  be very difficult to feel the vibes of achievement.

You know how it feels after completing a task or archiving a goal, you feel great and happy. A simple way to live a happy life is to finish whatever you start.

2. Exercise

Another simple but effective way to stay happy is by regular exercise.  Research  shows that, physical activities can boost self-esteem, mood, sleep quality and energy; as well as reduce depression and stress.

The impact of exercise cannot be underrated and many successful individuals like J.K Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, Nicholas Dutko; of Auto Transport Quote Services,  Benjamin Franklin, Bill Gates, amongst others, often cite regular exercise as one of the top secrets to their happy living.

Although daily exercise might seem stressful but if you can put it into regular practice, it’s one of the effective way to stay happy. It helps shapen the mind, body and soul — while we remain strong to carry out our daily activities.

3. Stay in good health

One of the effective ways to live a happy life is to be in good health, it is often said, “healthy people are happy people.” I tend to agree to this fact because happiness is one of the rules guiding good health, happy people live long while unhappy people have short life to live.

Depression and sadness affect the body system from performing at its best, which often lead to health issues. However, it is advisable to stay in good health to enjoy a happy life.  

4. Spend time with your family

Spending quality time with our loved ones; especially family, brings another feel of happiness.  We tend to feel loved and pleasant while with the kids, wife or relatives.

For example, work has deprived many of spending time with family. They go out very early in the morning and come back late at night. No time to gist and have fun with wife and children, always busy with work and appointments. This can seriously lead to an unhappy lifestyle. Schedule a time to stay with your family, it’s one of the ways to live a happy life.

5. Positive thinking

Feeding yourself with negative thought is a simple way to sad living. Negative thinking brings fear and doubt, while fear brings sadness. We are a product of our thoughts, so think positive. Positive thinkers are happy people.

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is yet another way to derive everlasting happiness.  Anytime you forgive someone, your mind is clear, you put on  smiling face and you’re happy around every body. Happy people never keeps grudges because they know it will keep on hurting them than expected. They find it easy to forgive and forget about wrong things people do towards them — which gives them the vibes to focus on something new.  

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How To Make A Great First Impression

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First impressions are very important in forming a strong relationship with the different people we meet and interact with in our lives. Though it happens for a very short time, the first impression can last for a very long time, for better or worse. People make judgments about the people they meet based on their appearance and presentation and once the impression is created, it hardly changes. Simply put, a great or good impression will give you a strong kick off in any situation in life; from interviews to the workplace.  It is never a bad think to stand out from the crowd!

Tips on How To Make A Great First Impression

Prepare talking points

Before you go for a meeting with a new person or company, it is advisable to do some background research. Brace yourself with particulars about that individual, the things he loves and what he might be expecting from you. These preparations will help you to convince the other person that are informed about the problem he is trying to solve and that your skills come in handy. Come up with a number of issues that you feel raising them up during your discussion will exhibit your expertise, strategic planning skills, and a deep understanding of the subject.

Dress for the occasion

To create the right first impression, you should appear for the meeting or interview in the right attire and properly groomed. For a lasting good impression, your appearance should be based on an analysis of expectations. Research the company, its culture and the attire worn by its employees. This will guide you unto choosing the most appropriate dress for the meeting. Dressing to match a corporate culture will establish a common ground for the rest of the meeting. Also, the attire you choose will define the level of professionalism, seriousness and potential impact you will have on the company. Ensure that your grooming, your hair style, and general personal appearance depicts a powerful, influential and a productive person. Above all, dress to show your respect of those you are meeting.

Be aware of your body language

Creating a positive impression during the first meeting entails demonstrating confidence through your body language. Though many people might be nervous when meeting a new person such as an employer, you should not show any signs of anxiety. Express comfort and confidence in your body language by walking with the chest held high, taking long strides and sitting up straight during the meeting. If you find assuming these poses challenging, you can adopt simple postures that will boost your confidence. When attending high-stakes meetings, you should prepare by videotaping yourself in advance to have an idea of how you will appear to the other party. Observing yourself ahead of time is the best way of knowing your shortcomings and finding better ways to present yourself.

Engage and be engaging

To make a good first impression, it is advisable to engage the other party in the conversation. Try to draw the other person into the conversation and listen attentively to his views. Given that people love to speak about themselves, you should ask thoughtful and open-ended questions that will make them feel at ease to share their reasoning with you. Engaging the other party in the conversation makes them feel good about themselves and their ideas appreciated. This environment helps them to develop a positive impression of you.

Maintain a direct and warm eye contact

A key point to creating a great first impression is making the other party see you as a trustworthy person. This will come firstly from your eye contact. Eye contact is probably the most valuable component of a good communication. Eyes tell a lot about one’s feelings, attitude and thoughts. Eye contact can easily reveal your interests, level of self-confidence, and involvement in a conversation. From one’s eye contact, you can gauge the likelihood of the information being true or false, how likable or not likable the other person is and a lot more. Maintain a direct and warm eye contact that appears natural but not too intense to make the other person uncomfortable.


After the first meeting, you should follow-up with the other person to ensure that the good impression you created is cemented. Send him a note highlighting what you learned and how it is of great help to you. Also, try to connect with the person on social media platforms and show interest in his work or blogs. It creates an impression of helpfulness that helps to create a positive second impression.

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How to Make Every Day Count

You’re reading How to Make Every Day Count, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Life is really complicated. It’s, at times, almost impossible to make sense of. There are moments that we feel absolutely clear on who we are, what we are doing and all our energies align, but a lot of life is spent in a whirlwind of busyness that feels productive, but in reality isn’t at all.

When thinking about why we get swept away into these bursts of activity that seem quite out of control, we must consider our relationship with our subconscious.

Of course, our subconscious is vital in running the show efficiently and quietly in the background. We need it to take care of simple repetitive tasks so that we can be more energy efficient machines. Because of the subconscious, the brain can conserve energy-draining conscious processing for the stuff that counts: activities that require our full attention and focus.

When we drive a long distance and can’t recall huge chunks of the journey, it’s because our subconscious took over so that we don’t deplete our mental energy with taxing conscious thought.

The challenge is that as time goes on and our 24/7 lives become busier and busier, the subconscious deliberately chooses patterns that it recognizes and we therefore become more and more habituated in our daily life.

Now some may say that the more habituated we are, the easier life becomes. And there is some truth in that. The problem is that when the subconscious runs the show most of the time, we lose our shine and the feeling creeps in that somebody else is running our lives. We are running on autopilot. We can start to make some pretty disastrous decisions as a result.

If you find yourself buying more things than you need, that is driven by the subconscious.

If you find yourself reacting to situations in ways that you feel a little uncomfortable about, that is driven by the subconscious.

If you eat too much, drink too much, watch too much television, spend hours on social media, that is driven by the subconscious.

We know we need our subconscious to function well and to help us live our lives efficiently, but we do also need to learn how to escape autopilot deliberately every day, to ensure we are not being swept away by hundreds of small decisions that add up having a big impact on our life.

We have all had moments of clarity and connection when everything feels just right and we are totally present, when it feels like we are in the right place at the right time. These are moments of consciousness. They happen to us almost accidentally in an array of situations, like when we are walking by the ocean, playing with our children, talking about our passions or feeling inspired.

We all have these moments but what we often struggle with is making them happen on demand.

Wake Up! is a series of experiments for us to try to see if we can deliberately escape autopilot once a day and then see what impact it has on our lives.

Thousands of people have taken part so far and what we know is that its impact can be profound.

We call them experiments because everybody is different and therefore what works for one person may not work for another. But what we do know is if you try them out over a couple of weeks with enough positive intention, there will be a shift in your consciousness.

Small things can have a huge impact. The experiments are not big or clever or technical but simple, playful actions that take little effort but have a big payback.

Some of my favorites include:

  • Spend the first 10 minutes of the day outside without any digital distractions of any kind and take a moment to connect with what’s important.
  • Share the love – find one person a day in your life and tell them what it is that you love about them.
  • Only buy food and water so that you free your mind from constant consumption and realize what really counts.
  • Climb a tree and remember how good it is to be playful.

It doesn’t really matter which ones you choose as long as you keep trying new ones and you deliberately make time for yourself to see the world differently.

By becoming conscious and escaping autopilot you can then step back from this frenetic world in which we live and ask, “what’s needed here?”

By answering that you may just have the most extraordinary day.

Chris Barez-Brown is a TEDx inspirational speaker and the author of Wake Up!:  A Handbook to Living in the Here and Now (The Experiment Publishing, September 19). Wake Up! the app is available through The App Store and Google Play. He’s at www.barez-brown.com/ @barezbrown

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The Art Of Self-Motivation

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Do you want to get more work done in less time? Are you experiencing a productivity lull? It happens to the best of us. We feel disheartened due to the lack of motivation to do something and are overwhelmed by negativity. Our levels of motivation are often unpredictable. It’s not that easy to remain motivated all the time many situations can discourage us along the way. But how can you maintain your drive, especially during times of need? Well, it’s in your own hands. With self-motivation, you can keep moving forward by fighting every obstacle. Here are a few ways in which you can self-motivate yourself.

Believe In Yourself And Your Abilities

Insecurities can be your worst enemy. Lack of self-confidence is a motivation killer. Stop underestimating your potential by comparing yourself with others. Channel your focus on your strengths and abilities instead of shortcomings. Give your confidence levels a big boost by being aware of and celebrating your strengths and achievements. Start by reminding yourself how far you have come with your abilities. And keep in mind, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Take advantage of all your traits and showcase them when needed. Every small battle you overcome counts as it becomes a motivator on its own.

Boost Yourself Up With A Positive Attitude

You need to fire yourself up with a positive attitude. Staying motivated can indeed be a struggle, but dwelling in negativity can only drag you down further. Be friendly and let that upbeat attitude shield you from anyone who tries to pull you down. Surround yourself with activities and people who brighten your day. It will fill your heart and mind with positive thoughts and emotions. Focus on the good aspects in every situation, and you will find happiness no matter what. If you are feeling dull or low, do things that make you happy or read motivational quotes and success stories. Everyone has failures, but all you need to do is overcome them and dare to dream.

Challenge Yourself And Develop Your Skills

Don’t settle. Keep pushing yourself and strive for accomplishment. Invest time in building your skills and work on self-improvement. You can probably do a lot more, but you are stopping yourself from taking risks. Challenge yourself and go beyond the limits of the ordinary. Unless you keep learning and stay curious, you will not be able to broaden your horizons. Focus on managing your time and set some time aside every day to develop your skills. Nobody is born perfect. We all make mistakes, but only by learning from our mistakes can we grow. The world is full of opportunities, and only when you explore it, you will feel fully motivated and truly alive.

Set Your Goals And Get Direction

To keep your motivation levels high, the first thing to do is to identify your goals, without which it can be hard to keep the fire burning. When your mind is focused on a certain goal, your brain sets out to make a plan to achieve it. A direction can give you a glimpse of where you are headed. Break down the main goal into small measurable ones that you can aim at on a day-to-day basis. Once you have a clearer vision of where you are headed, every action you take is guided by the goal. Keep track of every achievement, and your motivation levels will only keep rising higher and higher.

Self-motivation is not a daily challenge but a constant state of mind. The trick is to be positive and remain persistent towards your goals. Never stop chasing after your aspirations and believe in yourself. To be motivated and productive, you need to be relaxed and happy. Master the art of self-motivation with these concrete tips, and you’ll be ready to face any challenge life may throw at you.

Nisha is passionate about writing and loves to share her thoughts with the world. She has written many articles on yoga, fitness, wellness, remedies, and beauty. She keeps herself updated by going through interesting blogs every day. This fuels her passion and motivates her to write appealing and engaging articles. She is a regular contributor to
StyleCraze.com and a few other websites.


Photo credit: Andy Beales

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Got Work To Do But Can’t Keep Your Mind On It? This Simple Skill Will Fix The Problem—forever.

You’re reading Got Work To Do But Can’t Keep Your Mind On It? This Simple Skill Will Fix The Problem—forever., originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Having trouble staying focused lately? You’re not alone. As a friend of mine said, “The distractions are everywhere. You can’t get away from them. I’ll be sitting at my desk with a pile of work to do, when all of a sudden I’m wondering, Hey, I wonder what’s new with the Packers?, and the next thing I know, I’m on the web somewhere reading about the team instead of doing my work.”

Can you relate? I sure can. And this doesn’t even count all the inbound distractions—emails, texts, slack messages, social media—and just the increasing demands of our busy lives.

The fact is, there’s more distraction in our lives than ever before, and it’s starting to effect people in profound ways. Studies show that because of digital device use, for example, people are losing the ability to focus on a task for more than a few minutes at a time.

And as distracting as things are now, with the rise of the “attention economy” (Facebook, Snapchat, etc.), there are thousands of smart people out there spending all their working hours trying to figure out how to make it even worse.

This is problematic for everyone, but especially for creatives. Coming up with original ideas and solving complicated problems takes time and focus. And sometimes a LOT of time and focus. There were several times while working on my latest book where I would get to the end of the day and say, “I spent the whole day working on three paragraphs. And I’m still not sure I’m done!”

To do your best work, you need to be able to focus on the same thing for an extended period of time. But if your mind is always flitting from one thing to the next, you simply won’t be able to do it—and you’ll never get anything done.

So what can you do? One approach is to get rid of the distractions: close your email app, mute your phone, etc. And this can be helpful, but it only goes so far.

The best solution is to develop the skill psychologists call cognitive control. 

Cognitive control is the ability to direct your thoughts and attention. In other words, it’s being able to keep your focus where you want it rather than having it skip all over the place.

It’s a simple idea, and it’s also surprisingly easy to do, once you understand how it works. But this simple skill is incredibly powerful, and makes a huge difference in your work, and in your life in general. You get more done. You feel better about your work. Most important, you feel better about yourself.

To get started, there are three simple steps.

1) Observe Your Thoughts. Sit quietly for a moment and just observe your thoughts coming and going. What am I thinking about right now? What’s the next one? And so on. Try not to analyze or judge the thoughts, just observe them come and go, like you’re sitting on a park bench, watching people go by.

The purpose of this is to recognize this process—that your thoughts come and go—and most important, to recognize that they come from somewhere.

Most of our thoughts aren’t the result of us intentionally thinking about something. They just pop up, uninvited. Step one is to experience that.

2) Identify the Speaker. Once you recognize that your thoughts are coming from somewhere, step two is to think of that somewhere as being some one. You want to imagine that the uninvited thoughts are actually being spoken by someone other than you. Personally, I think of them as coming from the man behind the curtain, from The Wizard of Oz, but you can picture whomever you want.

I know this second step can sound a little strange. But the more you observe this process we’re talking about, there really does seem to be a separate person inside you doing the talking. And the more you think in these terms, the more control you have over your thoughts and attention.

3) “No. Quiet.” Once you’ve done steps one and two, you’re ready to practice cognitive control. Here’s how it works: When you notice a thought coming up and distracting you, you turn to the “other person” inside you and gently but firmly ask them to stop. “No. Quiet.”

That’s it. That’s cognitive control.

Now, it’s not necessary to say those exact words. You could just as well say, “No, not now” or “No, thank you. Quiet” or anything else in that spirit. The important thing is that you’re standing up to the source of the distracting thoughts and taking back control of your attention and your inner state. “No, we’re not discussing that now. It can wait. We’re focusing on this.”

“No. Quiet” is a simple skill, but don’t let its simplicity fool you. This is a powerful tool. It’s perhaps the most powerful self-mastery tool of all.

When you can step back from your thoughts, you gain a powerful new level of control over yourself, and the effects ripple out into every area of your life. But when you can’t step back from your thoughts, they control you.

So this is something you can (and should) start practicing right away. Observe your thoughts coming and going. Picture them coming from someone other than you. And then when your thoughts start to pull you off track, simply say “No. Quiet,” and feel the difference that exerting cognitive control makes.

David Levin is the author of Raise Your Inner Game: How to Overcome Stress and Distraction, Work at Your Highest Level, and Live a Life You’re Proud of Every Day.

Check out more of his work, HERE.</em

Photo Credit: Paul Skorupskas

You’ve read Got Work To Do But Can’t Keep Your Mind On It? This Simple Skill Will Fix The Problem—forever., originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


Why Travel Mirrors Life – A Rebuke Of Instagram Perfectionism

You’re reading Why Travel Mirrors Life – A Rebuke Of Instagram Perfectionism, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Backpacking and traveling are predominantly arduous, uncomfortable, and anxiety-inducing. When we see those picture perfect Instagram posts of people traveling the world they represent 1% of the story, willfully glossing over the other 99% (such as the fact that blood, sweat and tears were shed to get to the top of that mountain summit – all in the pursuit of a dopamine hit from the proceeding Instagram likes). The chaos of finding yourself in an alien culture, where you’ve been stripped of all familiarity, is at the time nothing other than a test of survival.

So why then is traveling so rewarding?

Because when we travel we submit ourselves to the accompanying s**t in order to experience those fleeting moments of bliss – the moments that we recall when nostalgically reminiscing about our travels. Nobody arrives home from traveling to share their stories of being ripped off by a local taxi driver or how they got so lost in a place that they started crying.

Life is exactly the same.

What gives our life meaning is our suffering, and what manifests from that suffering. For example when we graduate from university our pride and joy isn’t derived from the fact that we now have a new piece of paper that we did not have beforehand. Instead we celebrate all the hours spent frantically studying late at night, our challenging progress in terms of self-development and maturity, or those lifelong friends we made by placing ourselves in new social environments when we would much rather have stayed at home.

Take parenthood. 99% of being a parent involves doing thankless and repetitive tasks that nobody in their right mind would voluntarily agree to. Yet why is it that parenthood has been proven to be one of the most fulfilling pursuits in life? Because that 1% – seeing your offspring grow up – is so rewarding that the sacrifices which contributed to the end result was worth it.

What should you take from this post?

Embrace life’s difficulties. Don’t feel bad for not feeling happy all the time. Reframe your attitude to all those annoying micro tasks that need to be done on a daily basis because they are ultimately contributing to your desired end goals. Your sense of fulfillment and happiness should be viewed from an overview perspective rather than a fleeting snapshot in the here and now. Nobody wants to go to the bank to fill out endless admin forms, but perhaps that act is bringing you 0.001% closer to the person who are aiming to become.

Every single person on this planet is battling inner demons, in one form or another. Empathy and compassion of this fact will go a long way to contributing to your success and well-being. The next time you see that “i have my life together” post on Instagram, take heart from the reality that what you are seeing is a surface reflection of the proverbial iceberg.

Keep seeking.

Brian Cronin is the writer behind The Ithaca Diaries – a personal development blog documenting one man’s search for meaning, answers, and a pursuit of the good life. http://ift.tt/2xO17fq

You’ve read Why Travel Mirrors Life – A Rebuke Of Instagram Perfectionism, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

How to Get Unstuck and Gain Confidence (Even If You Are Ashamed to Make a Change)

You’re reading How to Get Unstuck and Gain Confidence (Even If You Are Ashamed to Make a Change), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When things go wrong, when things get stuck, and when you feel there is a reboot needed either in your personal life or professional life – that is the best time for small experiments!

Our problem is we acquire a certain image, type of reaction and behaviour and it runs through our life like a computer program. On the positive side – it helped us achieve all these great things we have. On the negative side, it sets certain limits of our “status quo” and we become constrained, too afraid to leave our comfort zone. For example, we were pushy and thanks to that we closed some deals, but we are too afraid to become more perceptive, because it seems counter logical for our mind.

There are 3 reasons why it is so difficult to leave our secure shell:

1. We do not know, how it will feel to be different than we are.

We have no idea whether people will like us or will hate, disrespect, take advantage of us in a new role. We doubt whether this new undertaking will bring fruit or will be a loss of time and energy. The choice is always ours to stay in our current situation or courageously adapt a change and embark on a fast track of “experiment – result”. When I was 16, I was super shy in school, though I really, really wanted to be successful. As a result, I found the courage to go out and start selling cosmetics door-to-door in the offices. It was difficult to do emotionally, but the results were overwhelming. I managed to balance my shyness and proactivity in a nice blend.

2. We are afraid to loose what we already have.

In our life, we always try to make something out of ourselves, so people consider us worthy of their love. For that we work on our bodies, secure our possessions, build a professional reputation – and these are good things because they spin our world. It is good to always remember, however, that we are not defined by our status quo and our stuff, but only by the source of it, which is our soul and the energy we generate out of it.

3. We are afraid to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is not perceived well in society and we are frightened to acknowledge it. For example, we do not want people to think we are dreamy, stupid, or poor because it will be easier for them to put us down and take advantage of us. The reality looks different. As the saying goes, “A soldier won’t hurt a baby”, the same is true for people around us. They won’t hurt us if we express something we consider “weakness”.

For me, it was a big change to stop doing business, to drop an image of a sharp businesswoman, to stop being professional, and to stop participating in intelligent IT events. Instead, I chose to write this blog, became soft, cute, and sensitive talking about love, happiness, and the wisdom of life. Might seem weird, right? I entered a very vulnerable state for someone like me who used to craft a very different image, but I truly enjoy this change of being more me, and the world is responding favourably.

The bottom line is that we are inclined to act in our standard way. We find all the reasons for doing so, explaining to ourselves and to others that this is the “right” way, the “normal” way, while in essence we are just masking our fear of looking openly at a situation and making a change.

In such cases, try to turn on a “Counter Logical Behaviour”. Counter Logical Behaviour is when you do something against your logic, something you would never have done in the past.  For example, if you always used to rely only on yourself, try to be counter logical and ask people to help you and support you. Or, oppositely, if you were always dependent on others’ emotional or material support – experiment with being self-responsible and self-satisfying. If you always expect love from others – start being the first to give gestures of love with no conditions. Or, if you are always loving, try to experiment and just receive more and more love.


  • Step 1: write down your dream.
  • Step 2: write down what you do now in regards to this dream.
  • Step 3: write down what you can do different, even opposite in regards to this dream.
  • Step 4: drop your fear and just go ahead, experiment with counter logical behaviour.
  • Step 5: analyse the results.

Did you have a life experience when you would argue with someone for hours, for days, months, and even for years, and the situation didn’t change a bit? Or have you had cases when you were very offended by people? What prevented you from doing something differently, from experimenting with your own behaviour and attitude?


About the Author:

Elena Lori (http://elena.today/)

I am a Happiness Trainer. I study human unhappiness, i.e. all the small and big issues in views and habits that separate people from happiness. I am the best at helping to entrepreneurs and business people with life and business related topics. More about my work at http://elena.today/.  Opt for my free book with 25 psychological exercises or book a session with me, I will bring you joy and awareness.


You’ve read How to Get Unstuck and Gain Confidence (Even If You Are Ashamed to Make a Change), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


5 Simple Ways To Boost Your Motivation

You’re reading 5 Simple Ways To Boost Your Motivation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Visualize yourself in two different scenarios. The first scenario is not having motivation for a task at all. The second one is being totally motivated for the same task. Is there a difference in how you feel while taking action? In which scenario are you doing the task faster? What’s about the quality of your performance? Is it better in scenario one or two? Are you having fun in one of those scenarios? In which scenario are you procrastinating? Are you more satisfied in scenario one or two? Thinking long term, in which of these scenarios do you achieve your ultimate outcome?

By answering these questions it becomes obvious that being highly motivated has many benefits.

Wouldn’t it be great to have lots of motivation for everything and get all the benefits for it?

Then, let’s discover 5 ways to get easily motivated.

Draw a colorful picture in your mind

Think of a task or an action you can’t motivate yourself to do. Create a mental picture how you will take action. Now colorize the picture with bright and vivid colors. Bring the image closer to you and make it shiny. Take the static image and make it alive. The picture is now more like a small movie. You are moving and taking action. Imagine yourself smiling and having fun while doing the task. Finally, bring it even closer and make it brighter.

Brightly colorful, and vivid pictures have a positive impact on human psychology. They motivate you automatically.

Don’t let your brain create the pictures for you. Be the director and create your own movies. You are in charge!

Create a compelling purpose

If you can’t motivate yourself, then obviously that action does not drive you.

Why do you want or need to do the task in the first place? What is the reason?

Often times we see just the actions we should take, but we don’t remind ourselves why we want to do them. What is the purpose behind our effort?

The purpose is the emotional juice you can create to motivate yourself. The why affects your feelings tremendously in a positive direction.

In general, tasks do not motivate us, reasons do.

E.g.: Would it be more compelling if you focus on the energy and fitness you will gain or the weight you will lose when going out for a run instead of focusing on the task of “running”?

Now, get your positive emotions going! WHY do you WANT to do what you don’t like to do?

Turn the music on

Can you imagine yourself lying on your bed, being extremely sad, but listening to happy music? Or the opposite, being totally happy and turning on a quite sad song?

We have very powerful triggers in our environment that can subconsciously change how we feel. Music is one of those triggers. It influences our emotions massively.

Now, if motivation is hard to find, then crank up your favourite tunes and change your feelings about the task.

Envision your success in advance

If you knew that you would succeed with your business idea, would you take the effort to build your own business? Would you be motivated to do whatever it took to achieve your outcome? I bet you would.

Now, we can’t know for sure if our endeavors will work out. What remains is uncertainty. Our brain is afraid of uncertainty and our motivation drifts away.

What can we do about it?

We can create success in advance. Visualize yourself succeeding by making a picture in your head. See yourself, and act, as if you have already achieved your goal. This builds faith within yourself and has an empowering effect on you motivation.

Add fun to the action

Can you make a task that you usually don’t enjoy more interesting? Sure! Just brainstorm some things that motivate you. Would it be possible to add these things to your actions?

E.g.: You might love reading books. How would your motivation to do the household chores increase, if you listen to one of your favorite books, in form of an audiobook? Can you imagine that you could have much more fun? Or you could score points by throwing laundry into the washer, like you’re playing basketball.

Make your tasks fun!

Skyrocket your motivation

Which of these techniques will get your motivation running? Try the technique that sounds most promising to you. Combine different approaches and experience being highly motivated!

Aileen Schuering is a passionate blogger, who loves to share her self-improvement journeys. She is the founder of Potential Lane, a blog that focuses on mindset, performance, and personal growth.

Photo Credit: frank mckenna

You’ve read 5 Simple Ways To Boost Your Motivation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


How To Create Success Despite the Hardships of Life

You’re reading How To Create Success Despite the Hardships of Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I’ve always been passionate about financial freedom, creating my own wealth and living debt free. Ever since I was a teenager, I had big dreams to buy my first house, (in cash) 2 years after finishing university, and pay off all my student loans within the first year of graduating. Life was going to be great! I was determined to become a surgeon, make good money but still make my own hours so that I could be home with my future family and children. Which reminds me, somewhere in along the way I would attend medical school, complete a residency of sorts, get married and have children, all while living debt free…

As you can imagine, that didn’t happen. My well thought out plans completely fell apart after my first year of university while I was struggling just to pass all my courses. Needless to say, I began to rethink the “becoming a surgeon” part of my plan, and since I was consistently paying rent late and borrowing money from family members to make ends meet, that “debt free” part wasn’t looking too hot either. School quickly became overwhelming, and as I transitioned from an A+ student to a “Thank God I passed that class” student.

I couldn’t tell if I was rethinking medical school because I truly didn’t want to do it anymore, or simply because I wasn’t doing well in school. The worst part about it was that for years I had proudly proclaimed my intentions and determination to become a surgeon to family and friends, to the point where everyone knew that I was a going be a doctor.

I may as well have already had the white coat. So now I’m finished first year, passed all my classes (Praise God) still rethinking medical school, decided to change my program to psychology of all things, and incurred the full wrath, I mean love, of family and friends. Utterly confused, they were asking why I changed my program, who is distracting me, why I’m not doing well, and on and on the questioning continued.

I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t know exactly where I was headed anymore, nor when I would arrive, nor how profitable my new career would be. Because let’s face it, when you study psychology, everyone’s question is “what are you going to do with that?”, and truth be told I had no idea.

To make matters worse, and I began to put on weight, and my energy began to deteriorate. I figured living on a student budget and exercising less plus the stress of school was the cause of the weight gain, I had no idea at the time that they were early signs of depression and anxiety. Fast forward a couple years, another program change, marriage, another program change, starting an online business, and about 5 major breakdowns later, I realized that what I was feeling was probably more than just the stress of school.

I kept waiting for the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion to lift. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me to exercise, or cook, or even just meet up with friends. I kept thinking to myself “Ruth-Joy what’s wrong with you, just do the assignment, or just call her back or just do the laundry”. But I couldn’t. I was handing in assignments late or not at all, showing up to events late, avoiding people’s calls, and constantly eating fast food because I didn’t have the energy to cook.

I used to be the person who got things done. I’m all about the action, so if you had a plan or a goal or a dream, I was the go to person to help you get from an idea to reality, but not anymore. I could barely do the basics for myself, let alone help others. I eventually sought help and realized that my breakdowns were symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks and my exhaustion was a symptom of depression.

But I didn’t want to be someone who had depression, I didn’t even want to say it out loud. I figured, I’ll finish school, and the stress will go away and everything will go back to normal – I’ll go back to normal. But that didn’t happen. The semester ended and I still couldn’t shake the exhaustion. I didn’t want to accept that I was struggling with mental health because I felt like that’s how people would see me. It made me feel like I would never have the motivation to lose the weight, or successfully run my business, or even be able to cook for myself as often as I once did, and that felt like defeat to me.

I wasn’t ready to give in, but at the same time I needed to realize that I was struggling with something real and that in order not to be defeated by it, I needed to accept the reality of my current situation. I began to put some tactics into place that would help me accomplish a little every day. I gave myself permission to only exercise for 15 minute a day, and if I didn’t want to continue after that, it was okay. I told myself, I only needed to do one thing for my business a day, even if it was as small as a 5 minute task. I permitted myself to only schedule 1 hang-out with a friend a week, and limit the time if necessary. The point is, I slowed down… a lot, but I was determined not to stop.

I’ve had to redefine motivation and teach myself discipline. Motivation was only enough to get me started, but wouldn’t sustain me when I got to the point that I wanted to give up – that’s where discipline kicked in. For me discipline is doing what you should do even when you don’t want to, and I can tell you I often didn’t want to.

I put systems into place that made it easier for me to succeed, like wearing my exercise clothes all day if necessary, all so I could do 15 minutes of exercise. I learned to recognize and appreciate small victories like doing laundry, or cooking a meal, and I learned to be forgiving with myself. This whole experience has taught me how to keep moving forward, even when I feel like I have nothing to give, or when it looks like I’m not making any progress, or when the goal seems overwhelming.

I’ve learned and continue to learn how to break down tasks to be more manageable so that I can take a few steps forward every day, getting one step closer to my goals with each task.Everyone in life faces challenges.

Yours may not be depression or anxiety, it may be the loss of a loved one, it could be financial, you may feel crippled by the weight of your dreams or by the expectation of others or even yourself, but I am proof and hope that you can make it. I myself am still learning, and still taking small steps each day, but I’m moving forward and so can you! Life may slow you down – it may take you from sprinting, to jogging, to walking, and maybe even slow you to a crawl.

That’s okay, but never let it stop you. No matter how small that step is towards your goal, take it; keep moving forward no matter how slow. I’m 4 courses away from finishing my 2nd university degree, no easy journey as you can tell, but I’m still closer today than I was yesterday. I believe all things are possible, not all at once, but definitely with time. You can accomplish anything you put your mind to, so dream big, someone is counting on your struggle to inspire them. I hope this encourages you to take a step today.

Until next time, I’ve been Ruth-Joy Connell.

Salutations, Ruth-Joy Connell here and I am a problem solver. I love to create solutions to problems, and I’m passionate about helping people accomplish their dreams. I believe that anybody can live their dream life, and I’m passionate about helping entrepreneurs set and reach their goals. I’m a university student completing my second degree in neuroscience and mental health. I’m married, I love to travel and I would not have made it to where I am today without Jesus. You can connect with me, via my website at http://ift.tt/2xD2MVa and you can grab a free gift here Free Goals Guide!

You’ve read How To Create Success Despite the Hardships of Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.