Donald Trump Says He Doesn’t Need Daily Intelligence Briefings Because He’s a ‘Smart Person’ https://t.co/BKbxeo3zjt

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Somebody With a Little Hammer

For many readers, Mary Gaitskill is a writer whose image precedes her work. Possibly you’ve seen Secretary; possibly you’ve just read the magazine profiles that pop up every time she has a new book out. The word those profile writers love to assign her is “dark.” New York magazine once even went so far as to call her a “downtown princess of darkness.” So far as one can tell, this word is used because her stories and novels (Bad Behavior, Veronica) are so often about people who can be said, in some way, to have chosen the way they suffer in life, and even to find some kind of fulfillment in that suffering. In America, where every life is supposed to be underwritten by the pursuit of happiness, Gaitskill’s preoccupations are thought perverse and depressing by default.

Well, look closer: a new collection of Gaitskill’s prose gives us a writer best described as positively playful. In Somebody with a Little Hammer, which collects essays that have been published elsewhere, we get a writer so far from self-serious that she even jokes about her own brooding image. In a takedown of Gone Girl included in this collection, she relates her experience reading the book on a long rail journey: “By the time the train ride was over, I felt I was reading something truly sick and dark,” she quips, “and in case you don’t know, I’m supposedly sick and dark.”

This piece, which originally appeared in Bookforum, is one of the more revealing things Gaitskill has ever written, although it isn’t in the least autobiographical. It reveals instead a key distinction between the way Gaitskill thinks a book should work and the way a writer like Gillian Flynn thinks it should work. Gaitskill concedes that the novel is clever. She sees its cold, calculating anti-heroine, Amy, as powerfully hooking into an older idea that women are “filthy, vicious idiots” who “claw at each other/bond over who is doing it best.” Yet that formulation of subjectivity bothers Gaitskill. She does not like the way the character reduces to these violent, controlling impulses. It doesn’t fit her idea of the world, and more to the point it seems a little dangerous. “[T]his book seems a little too enamored with Amy’s view of the world, and misuses its power in something like the way its protagonist misuses hers,” Gaitskill concludes.

To someone accustomed to Gaitskill’s “dark” image, this moralist’s objection to Gone Girl might seem a little incongruous. But to a more careful reader, it’s of a piece with the strong empathetic bent that has always guided her depictions of allegedly sick people. The power of her work has always derived from the small element of humanity she finds in her characters’ Bad Behavior.

In nonfiction Gaitskill proves a very effective analyst of her own impulses. In this collection is her 1994 Harper’s essay “On Not Being a Victim.” (Here it has been wordily retitled “On ‘Date Rape,’ ‘Victim Culture’ and Personal Responsibility.”) In it, Gaitskill describes a nonconsensual sexual experience that she says she described for years as a rape before coming to the conclusion that the word did not capture the complexity of the experience. It certainly was the case, she writes, that she hadn’t wanted to have sex, but her experience of the world as governed by social codes had taught her that her own desires were less important than some imagined rules. “I didn’t know what to do in a situation where no rules obtained and that required me to speak up on my own behalf,” Gaitskill writes. “I had never been taught that my behalf mattered.”

This qualified, considered view of difficult questions means that Gaitskill sacrifices the propulsive force of the firebrand for the more unsettled role of the essayist. The result is that it’s much more difficult to forget the insights that she comes to. By tethering herself to the complexities of human experience, Gaitskill gets a lot more mileage out of her subject that a writer of lesser intelligence does.

Put together here, all her essays do seem to be making a similar point: what looks like one kind of humanity, from a distance, is actually something more internally conflicted, more lost to itself. In a piece about the film version of her short story, Secretary, Gaitskill finds herself objecting to the way that her main character’s ambivalence was written out of the story. In a piece about Linda Lovelace, the star of the 1970s pornographic epic Deep Throat, she is concerned that all readings of the woman, who in her lifetime was both a porn star and an anti-pornography crusader, fail to embrace the notion that she could have had contradictory feelings about the whole thing. For example, of a memoir Lovelace once wrote about her allegedly abusive relationship, Gaitskill writes: “I imagined that Lovelace simply lacked the confidence to describe what she did and felt in a nuanced way, and that the thing was very, very nuanced and contradictory. ” And come to think of it, “very, very nuanced and contradictory” is probably a better way to describe Gaitskill than “dark.” But that, of course, doesn’t make for such a romantic headline.

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4 Easy Tips to Cultivate Calmness

You’re reading 4 Easy Tips to Cultivate Calmness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The ability to cultivate a sense of inner calm is an important factor when it comes to coping with anxiety. Anxiety, often times, creates physical side effects on one’s health, and the cultivation of calmness and relaxation in both body and mind can serve as a form of release from mental anxiety. Minute changes in your lifestyle and habits can bring unanticipated, positive effects on your wellbeing as a whole. Here are a few easy tips on how you can instill calmness in your daily life.

Develop a calm morning routine, instead of falling prey to a stress-induced morning rush.

A morning ritual can instill a sense of calmness into your life and set the stage for a more relaxing, less anxious day. Although many individuals start off their day in a mental and physical rush, this fast-paced environment is more prone to increased stress levels. It may be helpful to plan out your day the night before, simply by setting aside a few minutes to write down a to-do list or reminders to your future self.

Developing a morning ritual does not have to take up a lot of time; rather, it can be a relaxing exercise to jot down things to remind yourself of doing. It is also helpful to sleep early and set up multiple alarms, so you will not worry about sleeping through only one alarm. Preparing the night before for a potentially stressful day can also evoke peace of mind; for example, you can meal prep for the week during the weekends when you have time, or you can plan out your week’s work, so you do not have to plan as you go. Although this is not necessarily a morning routine, getting into the habit of doing things can exponentially reduce your anxiety and allow you to lead a less rushed life.

Pay attention to how you react to a stressful event or individual.

Self-awareness is key when it comes to handling your anxiety. Often times, our body reacts harshly to stressful situations or even individuals. Although you can never completely avoid stressful situations in your daily life, it is helpful to recognize whenever those events occur, and do your best to prepare on how to cope with them. You might not necessarily be able to control your reaction to an event, but being aware of a potential stressful situation and recognizing the scope of your reaction to it can improve your anxiety in the long run.

Paying attention to your reactions can also help you come up with a plan in case your anxiety might get triggered by certain situations. There are different kinds of triggers in our daily lives — it can be a natural or invisible trigger. For example, a natural trigger can be a stressful workplace situation that you can not necessarily avoid, but an invisible trigger can be if you’ve had too much time to dwell on a concern. Being aware of these natural and invisible triggers are helpful, and you can figure out more effective coping mechanisms.

Develop an attitude for gratitude, and be thankful for the little things in life.

Maintaining positive thoughts, although at times a difficult task, can ultimately be helpful for your anxiety. In order to develop an attitude for gratitude, you don’t have to spend a lot of time dwelling on aspects of your life you are thankful for. In fact, you can spend a few minutes of your day jotting down thoughts of gratitude towards a certain situation, individual, or even natural occurrence.

Many frequent journal-ers have a gratitude notebook to help them put life in perspective, and although this might not directly target your anxiety, journaling can have calming effects on your mind and body. Simply listing down what you are thankful for can evoke a strong sense of gratitude and peace of mind; you don’t have to dedicate a specific allotted time each day to write what you are thankful for — instead, you can list things out as the day progresses, and find that this exercise can also keep your mind healthily occupied as well as boost your mood.

Instead of multitasking, dedicate your mental and physical energy to completing one task at a time.

Although multitasking is often praised in our fast-moving society and workplace, dedicating your energy to a single task at hand is also useful, especially when it comes to managing your anxiety. If you often try to multitask and find yourself overwhelmed at the work you have to do, this could exacerbate your stress levels and be a trigger when you attempt to accomplish them.

Multitasking, although it seems like a relatively normal skill, can be stressful at times, and on days where you are feeling especially stress-induced, it is important to slow things down and take one task at a time, especially in the workplace. Creating a list of things you have to do can also release your stress, as you can cross off each task you have accomplished when you have completed them.


About the Author of this Post
Terry Nguyen writes articles and blogs for Red Cup Agency. Her other writings about health can be found on the Getting Past Anxiety Facebook page. To experience one woman’s journey through anxiety and how she gets past it without medication, check out Melissa A. Woods’ novel Getting Past Anxiety.

You’ve read 4 Easy Tips to Cultivate Calmness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Obama Used Cyberattacks To Sabotage North Korean Launches For Years | Zero Hedge https://t.co/oh0TyK5NmW

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As Trump warned North Korea, his ‘armada’ was headed toward Australia https://t.co/PqbfcDAr1K via @Reuters

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Donald Trump has made the classic bully’s error: He has underestimated his victim. The Atlantic https://t.co/CYHF2u5CHY

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April 18th – If you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. – Conan O’Brien https://t.co/nT3MudXXxi

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