By Leo Babauta

As we dive into the holiday season, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, rushed, even irritated by family members and others around us.

I’d like to encourage you to try a mindfulness practice.

Here’s the practice:

• Notice each time you feel rushed, anxious or overwhelmed. Try to develop an awareness of it throughout the day. The sooner you can catch it, the better. Make it a game: try to see it when it happens, as often as you can.
• When you feel rushed, catch yourself and pause. Notice your mental habit of rushing, rushing to the next thing. Don’t let yourself waste your time with that habit. Instead, try building a new mental pattern: pausing, relaxing with the feeling that’s in your body, and then doing the single task in front of you, letting that be your entire world. Trust that you’ll be able to handle the next task after it without worrying about it right now. Enjoy the doing of the task in front of you.
• When you feel anxious, catch yourself and pause. Notice your mental habit of letting anxiety carry you off into a chain reaction of worry. Don’t let yourself waste your time with that habit. Instead, try building a new mental pattern: pausing, relaxing with the feeling that’s in your body, and then trusting that you can handle the uncertainty in front of you. Embrace the uncertainty and smile at it, relaxing into it.
• When you feel overwhelmed, catch yourself and pause. Notice your mental habit of thinking about all you have to do and feeling anxious about being able to do it all. Don’t let yourself waste your time with that habit. Instead, try building a new mental pattern: pausing, relaxing with the feeling that’s in your body, taking things one task at a time, breathing and enjoying that task. Trust that you’ll be able to do everything you need to do, and that you’ll be OK.

This is the practice. As you can see, it’s basically the same for all three (related) mental patterns, and it takes practice. You’ll mess up, but that’s OK. Smile and enjoy the practice.

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By Leo Babauta

There’s a big part of all of us that doesn’t ever want to face our fears.

The fears operate in the backs of our minds, affecting our lives in so many ways: we procrastinate, lash out at others in frustration, hold ourselves back from connecting with others in a meaningful way, stop ourselves from finding our purpose or creating work that matters, and much more.

But we don’t face the fears, despite their power over us, because we don’t like even thinking about them. We don’t want to acknowledge them. And this is what gives them their power.

Today, I’m challenging you to change this.

I’m challenging you to take a small action each day to face your fears. To become fearless, one small step at a time.

From now until the end of the year, commit to a daily Fearless Session.

What’s a Fearless Session? It’s a few minutes of courage:

1. Sit for a few minutes (3-4 minutes) simply facing your fears. Notice the fears that have been arising in you, and see how they affect your body. What feelings do they arise in you, physically? Be brave enough to sit with them as long as you can (feel free to stop if it gets too intense).
2. Try to look at the fear with compassion. You are stressed or hurting in some way. Wish for an end to your stress or pain. Wish for your own happiness. Give yourself some love.
3. Sit for another minute and try to see the goodness in yourself, underneath the fear. This takes practice, but start to see how wonderful you are, underneath everything. This goodness is always present, but we don’t often look at it. See the love, compassion, beauty, good intentions, kindness, that are inside of you all the time.

It should only take about 5 minutes total, though you can start by doing just a few minutes. I recommend starting a timer for 5 minutes (or 3 to start out if you want).

Then every Saturday, make a brief report on this form (anonmymously). This will keep you honest and help you learn from the experience.

Join my challenge today: post about committing to the Fearless Challenge on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with the #fearlesschallenge hashtag, or just tell your close friends that you’re doing it.

Why This Matters

Why bother doing this challenge? Because fears control us, but we don’t have to continue with that pattern. We can find the courage to face our fears, in small doses, and find compassion for them. This can help melt the fears and change our mental patterns, so we’re not so caught up in our stories about them.

Over time, you might notice yourself catching your fears during the day, when you’re not doing a Fearless Session. You might see the fear starting up, and then stop yourself from builidng it into something bigger. You might stay with the physical feeling of it starting, and then all of a sudden you’re back to the present moment, awake to what’s going on right now. This waking up in the moment of starting the fear train is a really valuable skill.

The last part, of seeing the goodness in yourself, is a fascinating exercise. This goodness is in all of us, all the time, but we don’t often notice it. It’s underlying everything we do, even the fear — we have good-hearted intentions, and we fear they won’t come true.

If we start to see the goodness in ourselves, that’s there all the time, we start to have confidence that we’re good enough. We doubt ourselves less, have less fear that things will go wrong, because we have a basic confidence that we’ll be OK no matter what situation arises.

Think about this: if you fear messing up, and hope for success … what happens if you are confident in your goodness and think you’ll be OK no matter how you do? You can just do the job, make the presentation, take on the project, without fear that things will not go the way you want. Because even in that case, you’ll be fine, you’ll figure it out from there.

Stopping our mental patterns, finding compassion for the pain of fear, and seeing our basic goodness — these are the antidotes to fear.

Join my challenge today: post about committing to the Fearless Challenge on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with the #fearlesschallenge hashtag, or just tell your close friends that you’re doing it.

Then every Saturday, make a brief report on this form (anonmymously).

My New Course: The Path of Fearlessness

I highly encourage you to join me in my Sea Change Program for one of the most important courses I’ve ever offered: The Path of Fearlessness.

It’s a six-week video course that’s a part of my regular Sea Change Program (free for 7 days, $19/month after that), and consists of:

1. 2 video lessons per week
2. A Fearless Challenge: Do daily 5-10-minute Fearless sessions
3. A live video webinar with me
4. Daily challenges on the forum (optional but recommended)
5. Questions about the course can be asked on the forum

Sign up here: Sea Change Program

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By Leo Babauta

The more I work with people who are struggling with habits or life problems, the more I see how fears are holding us back.

Fears stop us from building healthy and productive habits. Fears cause us to procrastinate, keep us from finding work that is meaningful (or doing that work if we’ve found it). Fears keep us from finding friends or connecting with people on a deeper level. Fears keep us from being happy in each moment.

Underlying all of those fears are a few key fears:

• Fear of failure or being unprepared
• Fear of uncertainty
• Fear of being inadequate or being rejected

The two key fears are the fears of uncertainty and not being good enough, and in my experience, they’re both the same thing. We’re afraid of the uncertain future (and uncertain situations) because we don’t think we’re good enough to handle whatever might come out of the chaos.

These two fears (uncertainty and inadequacy) affect our lives in so many ways, and yet we rarely face them. We don’t want to feel these fears, so we run. We distract ourselves. We keep busy instead of being still to feel them. We find comfort in food and smoking and alcohol and TV.

In the end, the running doesn’t work, but only makes things worse.

There’s an alternative: the Path of Fearlessness.

Three Keys to Developing Fearlessness

What would our lives be like if we didn’t have fear holding us back?

We might find the freedom and joy that comes in being present with each moment.

We might find the underlying goodness that’s always there in each of us.

We might be able to finally live the lives we’ve always wanted to live.

So how do we walk this Path of Fearlessness?

Three practices to work with:

1. Facing the fear mindfully. The truth is, we rarely allow ourselves to feel our fears. We run from them, pretend they aren’t there, distract ourselves, lash out at others, trying to find control. But we don’t even admit we have these fears, most of the time, let alone actually allow ourselves to feel them. So the practice is to just sit there when you notice yourself feeling any fear, and see if you can stay with it for awhile. Don’t stay with the story about the fear in your head, but rather how it feels in your body. See that it is stressful or painful or uncomfortable. Notice the particular physical feeling of this fear, this time. See if it changes. See what you can learn about it. See if you can be compassionate with it.
2. Seeing your underlying goodness. As we sit in meditation, we can see that this moment is actually pretty wonderful. And this moment includes ourselves. We are part of the unconditional goodness of every single moment, and if we sit still we can start to feel that. There is goodness in our hearts, all the time, if we allow ourselves to feel it. There is the ability to appreciate and wonder, to feel and to love, to be present and to be grateful. Start to appreciate this, and you’ll start to develop confidence that you’ll be OK, even in uncertainty, even if you’re being judged, even if you put yourself out there with vulnerability.
3. Embracing the joy of groundlessness. Uncertainty is scary because we don’t like the feeling of not having stable ground under our feet. We want certainty, control, stability, permanence … but life is filled with uncertainty, impermanence, shakiness, chaos. This causes the fear. Instead, we can start to embrace this uncertainty, see the beauty in impermanence, see the positivity of groundlessness. This uncertainty means we don’t know what will happen, which means we can be surprised by every moment! We can be filled with curiosity about what will emerge. We can reinvent ourselves each moment, because nothing is set, nothing is determined. There is joy in this groundlessness, if we embrace it.

No, these are not easy practices. But you can practice with them right now, and set aside a few minutes each morning to practice. You’ll see your confidence emerge, your fears dissipate a bit, your ability to appreciate each moment and yourself grow.

The Path of Fearlessness is one of mindfulness, of daily practice, and of finding the courage to face and push past the fears into joy.

My New Course: The Path of Fearlessness

I highly encourage you to join me in my Sea Change Program for one of the most important courses I’ve ever offered: The Path of Fearlessness.

It’s a six-week video course that’s a part of my regular Sea Change Program (free for 7 days, $19/month after that), and consists of:

1. 2 video lessons per week
2. A Fearless Challenge: Do daily 5-10-minute Fearless sessions
3. A live video webinar with me
4. Daily challenges on the forum (optional but recommended)
5. Questions about the course can be asked on the forum

Sign up here: Sea Change Program

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By Leo Babauta

I have a friend who doesn’t realize how much he dislikes so many things — much of his life is spent avoiding things he doesn’t like, or trying to rush through things like exercise, or annoyed by people who do things he doesn’t like.

We all have aversions to things, more than we probably realize. It’s not a problem to have aversions, but if we’re driving by the aversions, we’re locking ourselves into a limited life.

For example:

• If you hate vegetables, it’s hard to eat a healthy diet.
• If you hate exercise, it’s hard to be strong and healthy.
• If you dislike when people do certain things (smoke, drink, eat junk food), you’ll be annoyed by people often.
• If you dislike traffic, politics, reality TV stars, bureaucrats, you’ll be frustrated by many life situations.

Note that aversions aren’t always “bad” — actually, I don’t think they’re bad at all. Some aversions can be helpful: not liking being abused, for example, or being averse to eating unhealthy food. However, they can restrict us in many cases and make us unhappy if our lives aren’t free of the things we’re averse to. So in that sense, working to not be controlled by our aversions is freeing and better for our happiness.

I’m not saying I’m free of all these aversions — I definitely have my share, and I’m working with them. I’d like to share how I work with them.

Becoming Aware of Aversions

The first step, of course, is becoming aware of your aversions. Take a minute to make a list of the things you hate, that you avoid, that annoy you, that you can’t stand.

For example, do any of these bother you?

• Certain kinds of foods
• Types of exercise or activities
• Kinds of TV shows
• Certain behaviors of people you know
• The way some people behave on the Internet
• Some websites or apps
• Deal-breakers of potential dating partners
• Situations that commonly frustrate you
• Specific social situations

There are lots of other examples, but start a list. Add to it every time you get frustrated, see yourself avoiding something, or get annoyed … add to the list.

Notice your desire to avoid certain things. When you notice, try working with that feeling of aversion, using the ideas in the section below.

Working with Aversions

When you notice your aversion, just sit and face it.

Notice how it feels in you — not your story about it, but how it feels in your body. Where is it located, what is the quality of its energy, is it a changing sensation, is it intense, throbbing, pulsing, stabbing, dull, tight, aching?

Open yourself up to this feeling. Don’t run from it. Don’t instantly reject it. Accept that it’s there, and be curious about it. See it as something to study. Most people want to ignore it, but you’re willing to find out more.

Be friendly with the feeling. Relax, be open, be curious, be gentle. See that it’s not so bad. See that you can survive, even if you sit with the feeling.

See that it changes. For me, it can be strong, but then it crests and then fades. It’s momentary, temporary, just a passing feeling like any other feeling.

Notice that you don’t have to be controlled by this one feeling. In fact, every feeling or thought is just something that arises, not something that you have to get lost in or controlled by.

You have the freedom to eat vegetables or converse with annoying people without falling apart, and in fact if you stay present in the middle of the situations, you can appreciate the beauty of it.

And in the end, you can embrace these aversions instead of running from them. They are a part of the human experience, come from a loving part of our hearts, and are not anything to panic about.

We can move through the world of desires and aversions with love and joy and an appreciation for everything around us.

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By Leo Babauta

Whether you’re in the U.S. or not, the results of yesterday’s election can bring up some strong feelings — maybe outrage or depression, maybe elation and shock, maybe contempt for others.

In this crazy emotional time, I urge you to try a compassion practice.

Perhaps, like some people I know, you are angry about the outcome, and can’t believe your fellow Americans would elect the person they elected. Perhaps you’re feeling vindicated, and are unhappy with the way your fellow Americans have steered this country for the last eight years. Perhaps you’re not from the U.S., and you’re feeling scorn for Americans, or confusion, after the results of this election.

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s likely to come from a place of non-understanding. That’s not likely to help our community, locally or globally, nor will it help our own happiness. It can be a transformative practice to practice compassion right now.

The truth is, we each have personally experienced what the other side is going through. The results of the election represent the feelings of millions of other people — they speak in some way for our fellow human beings. We have each felt these emotions: feeling left behind, feeling frustrated, distrusting, powerless, angry, hopeful for change, disliking the change that we see.

Imagine yourself feeling those feelings, one at a time. Feel how difficult they are. Now imagine that someone from the other side is feeling those things.

See if you can feel compassion for a fellow human being for feeling them. Feel a connection to them, because you too have suffered through this difficulty. Feel a connection to all your fellow humans who are going through their difficulties right now, in the U.S. and around the world.

We are connected, even if we have immense differences. We live and work together, we feed each other and depend on each other, we support each other and share ideas, we all are going through immense change and struggle, we have struggles in our lives and feel helpless to change the world at large.

The other “side” might have a different worldview that causes them to vote a different way than you, to want different policies … but underneath, we all have the same tender hearts. And by finding this common ground, we can reconnect to each other in a compassionate way.

https://zenhabits.net/election/