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29 Habits of Extremely Considerate People
Motivation
8 Creative Ways To Motivate Yourself To Reach Goals
“Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it we can never do anything wise in this world” – Helen Keller
From the moment our kindergarten teachers asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up to the job interview question that asks us to envision where we see ourselves in five or ten years time, everyone seems to want to know what we’re doing (or hope to do) with our lives. Some of us have detailed road maps in our minds, with mile-markers for each goal: Obtain a college degree, land a dream career, start a family, visit Mars, achieve world domination—whatever. Others like the scenic route. We have a vague picture of someone in the distant future who looks like us and is doing amazing things, but they’re too far off in the distance for us to see just what those amazing things are. Whether you’ve had your entire life planned out since you were 5 yrs old or are just winging it, we all need a jump start from time to time to keep us moving in the right direction—or any direction. Here are eight creative ways to motivate yourself to reach your goals.
1. Sing to yourself
Seriously. Like laughter, sunshine, and fresh air; singing elevates our moods and increases our well being. It can even be a useful group exercise to enhance collaboration in the workplace. Read more about it here. Studies have shown that singing triggers a release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural way of chemically relieving pain and stress. When we’re happier, we get more done. This might be why Snow White likes to whistle while she works.
2. Visualize your success
According to Dr. Frank Niles, visualization is a simple but useful motivational technique because when you form a picture of succeeding in your mind, you begin to see the possibility of reaching your goal. When I was working on my dissertation in graduate school, there were days when meeting the daily writing goal I’d set for myself seemed insurmountable, let alone finishing the entire book-length project that sat in my stomach like a baby with an unknown due date. When I began to feel overwhelmed, I’d often visualize the moment of achievement, walking across the stage, receiving my degree, finally earning those three letters at the end of my name that I’d poured so much blood, sweat, tears, and vodka into. Six years and quite a few drinks later, I managed it.
3. Speak about achieving your goals in definitive, positive terms
Instead of saying, “if I get married,” “if I get that raise,” “if I quit smoking,” say “when I get married,” “when I get that raise,” “when I quit smoking.” This shifts your focus from possibility to actuality. Spiritual teacher and best-selling author Dr. Wayne Dyer has written and spoken extensively about the “I Am” discourse, which is a form of positive thinking that takes its name from Judeo-Christian Scripture but is portable in any walk of life. Dyer tells us humorously that God didn’t introduce himself to Moses as “I will be,” or “My name is I hope things will work out.” No. He said simply “I am.” Using this affirmative vocabulary in our own lives, argues Dr. Dyer, can help us to visualize our goals and keep our eye on the prize.
4. Use sticker charts
We all remember the thrill of achievement when we rushed home from school to show our parents the shiny gold star we’d received on our homework assignments in school. Who’s to say this positive reinforcement can’t work for adults too? Draw up a chart of your goals, with various benchmarks. Each time you achieve a benchmark, give yourself a gold star, or a smiley face, or a googly-eyed cat. Whatever gives you a sense of accomplishment. This ties into the visualization technique as well, because charting the trajectory of completion gives you verifiable proof that you’re making progress.
5. Keep a goal diary
Like creating a chart with eye-catching visuals, writing down your goals and reflecting regularly on their progress helps you to both focus on the desired outcome and holds you accountable. In 1979, a study conducted in the Harvard MBA program asked students if they had goals and if they’d written down those goals. 3% had written down their goals, 13% had goals but hadn’t written them down, and 84% had no clearly defined goals. Ten years later, the study revealed that the 3% who had written down their goals were the most financially successful. While financial stability is only one quantifiable way to measure success, the study still points to a link between clearly defining one’s goals and achieving them.
6. Find a “study buddy”
While this can be a useful way to motivate students to complete homework, it can also work well for anyone who has a hard time settling down to work. I used to notice that I graded papers much more efficiently when my boyfriend was sitting in the other room doing the same thing. While this might not work for everyone, I’ve always found that glancing up now and then to make a comment about something I’ve read does more than allow for a break in the action. The other person becomes a sounding board to bounce my ideas off of. Even Sherlock Holmes relied on Watson’s insights to solve his cases.
7. Keep a corkboard in your workspace or someplace visible, with empowering quotations
Personally, I find Yoda a great inspiration. It’s hard to quit anything when you’ve got “do or do not. There is no try” staring you in the face. Turn to your favorite books and movies, or your role-models. Pick your favorite inspirational quotes and keep them close to remind you that you can do whatever you set your mind to.
8. Daydream
It might sound counter-intuitive, but I’m going somewhere with this. You probably remember being told off in Biology class for staring into the fathomless blue eyes of your lab partner instead of concentrating on the frog you were supposed to be dissecting. However, according to Margrit Tarpalaru, there’s a way to procrastinate “consciously, creatively, and, most importantly, guiltlessly.” Tarpalaru, a teacher who uses this technique to plow through grading, refers to it as the “micro-break,” which many of us probably think of as that reflexive urge to check Facebook for five minutes, only to look up twenty minutes later and wonder how we got sucked into the social media vortex. Instead, Tarpalaru suggests techniques like a quick daydream. Glance up from the computer screen and spend a few minutes thinking about all of the glorious things that await you once you’ve gotten through the day, or the week: biking with your partner, having drinks with friends, the summer cruise you’re planning. Like the other visualization techniques we’ve talked about, this practice keeps your eye on the prize, and it’s a conscious form of procrastination because you can’t have that drink, or board that cruise ship unless you meet that deadline, which inevitably forces your mind back on work.
How do you motivate yourself? Can you think of any other useful tips? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Featured photo credit: Cheerleader via pixabay.com
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5 Secret Uses of the Trello App to Overcome Procrastination and to Boost Productivity
The Trello app is a simple, yet brilliant productivity tool. Don’t be fooled by its simplicity, however — Trello is not just a basic to-do list app. Using Trello will help you feel calmer and more productive. Being organized and in control of your time, plans, and activities will unleash a tremendous amount of energy in you.
The Trello design is a straightforward series of “lists” arranged from left to right on a plain background “board.” Each “list” represents a category of tasks. Within each “list” are “cards” which are to-do type items within that category of tasks. “Cards” can be shifted to other “lists” through a drag-and-drop motion.
Trello can serve as:
- a way to plan a project
- a way to keep track of who is doing what in a group
- a way to see all of the working parts of a project together on one page (or multiple pages)
- a historical record of the action steps you have taken through a particular project
For people who tend to avoid their work, Trello provides a clear, easy-to-access space for depositing relevant information for getting things done. Once you become familiar with using Trello, both to enter your to-do list items and to remind yourself of them, you’ll have a smoothly functioning system of recording your activities and plans. When you complete any items you have on your Trello lists, you have the option of archiving or deleting the notes you have on those items.
You will get a healthy rush of good feelings when you archive or delete the items. As you continue to rely on Trello over time, your confidence in your ability to get things done will grow.
Trello also comes to the rescue for people who tend to be forgetful. You can access your Trello boards from your smartphone, tablet, or computer and enjoy the benefit of having all of your information synched across devices. You can jot down any type of note to remember any sort of thing. You can also add attachments, e.g. photos or clippings from the web, to your cards. You can keep a list for “to be filed later,” for names and information you’d like to remember about people you just met, or ideas for characters for your upcoming novel. Having the ability to capture your thoughts as soon as they occur to you through Trello will help you to be more consistent in your work and life.
Trello also functions as a planning and action guide for people who have difficulty knowing how to get things done, since individual cards are moveable both within lists and to different lists, Trello users have a reliable method for figuring out what is of highest priority and in what order items should be addressed.
Taking the planning process out of the brain and on to a visual-based tool will help you to stay lucid in your thinking and judgment. Get in the habit of entering to-do list items with action words in front, e.g. buy broccoli, and you’ll soon become a master at completing those actionable items.
Here is a list of 5 ways to use the Trello app to your best advantage:
1. Use Trello on your desktop monitor.
When you set Trello up to display on your desktop monitor, you will have the sense of having “everthing at your fingertips.” Trello will serve as your own personal Command Central. Admit it — you’ve always wanted to have a Command Central. Start and end your day with a quick review of your Trello lists and keep yourself functioning at your best.
You’ll be able to make decisions about what needs to get done and how much more quickly with Trello. You’ll know what is “in play,” or what tasks you have started, but need to wait for someone else to complete. You’ll have a neat, accurate record of your progress — beginning, middle, and end — on all of your projects as Trello date and time stamps your entries.
2. Design your boards and lists to fit your needs perfectly.
Your connection with Trello will deepen when you figure out the most useful array of lists for your needs. This will be somewhat of a trial-and-error process, but an easy one. Make a list to handle each area and type of “worry” you have in your life. Once your lists are set up, your worry will seem to lessen. Trello will serve as a reliable reminder of what you need to get done.
Suggestions for lists to keep include:
- TODAY – which should be self-explanatory
- $$$$$$ – since there always seems to be some task that involves giving or receiving money that needs to be tracked carefully
- WAITING FOR – because you’ll need a reminder of those actions you started but are waiting for someone else to complete
Here’s a screenshot of what a Trello layout might look like:
The possibilities for Trello arrangements are endless. Have Trello boards with information on books you’d want to read, movies you’d want to see, and apps you’d want to try. These are items you won’t need to review every day but might like to have readily accessible. Other suggestions for ways to use your Trello boards and lists include arranging a wedding or graduation party, keeping track of expenses, finalizing packing lists for a business or vacation trip, and remembering details about your medical treatment.
3. Construct and design your lists to guide you to tackle your priority items.
Once you’ve decided which cards should go in which lists, do another round of sorting and determine which cards should go to the top of each list. In other words, top priority tasks should go to the top of each list. You can also highlight any task by using the “labels” function. You can choose which colored label you’d like to tag a card with and assign your own label to it, e.g. “urgent,” “Julie,” or “important.” Each card can have multiple labels.
Here’s a screenshot of how you might organize your own set of labels:
When you organize your Trello boards with an eye towards priority and purpose, you’ll have a much easier time initiating your tasks, maintaining your momentum, and bringing them to completion.
4. Consider ways to “share” your Trello lists.
Trello lists can be “shared” so you can invite one or more people to see a particular list and to edit its contents. You can use this function when working with an assistant or collaborator on a multi-pronged project. Other suggestions for ways to “share” a Trello list include:
- maintaining a grocery list with your spouse, partner, or roommate
- keeping a list of chores, homework, and scheduling issues for your child or teenager – Trello removes the need for in-person nagging
- enabling smooth communication among members of a team, troop, or organization or between an employer and employee
By sharing lists, you’ll be able to delegate tasks and to keep track of the entire back-and-forth interaction. You’ll save yourself time and aggravation in the process.
5. Use Trello as your memory bank.
Using the Trello app will help you if you have ADD or ADHD, if you are disorganized, if you are forgetful, or if you feel overwhelmed.
Get in the habit of turning to Trello to capture loose details which you might forget if you relied just on your memory. Log in due dates, ideas for blogposts, upcoming birthdays – anything that requires action on a later date. Having all of your to-do items and plans in one place will be a great source of sanity and relief.
Trello provides a way to have a view of your own life — past, present, or future. Once you determine how to tailor Trello to your needs and lifestyle, you will be more efficient in your planning and more accountable in your actions. And then the sky is the limit.
To get the Trello app, follow this link: http://ift.tt/RJjc1R
For more inspiration for how to use Trello in your own life, follow these links: https://trello.com/tour http://ift.tt/12qfsXW http://ift.tt/1zkyEY2 http://ift.tt/1zkzdkF
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4 Keys To Self-empowerment by Living the Examined Life
Our world is rapidly changing and often presents obstacles and events that other generations have not experienced nor learned to cope with. Clearly life in the twenty-first century has vastly changed from the kind of environment that most of us grew up to accept as normal. Today’s children must learn to adapt to information, technology and rapid change in a way that most adults never dreamed possible as they grew to adulthood.
Life has always been, but now vastly more so, a series of changes, challenges and transitions. Navigating through “troubled waters” can often leave us in various states of dismay. However, if we have learned to consciously deal with and move through the smaller changes and challenges on a regular basis, then the larger ones that loom before us seem a little more manageable.
Here is a four-step process that aids both individuals and organizations in moving through both adversity and opportunity, while at the same time, learning new skills and adjusting to new realities.
CLARIFYING VALUES
Take time, both as individuals or as a group, to define your values. What is the code of ethics or principles that you wish to live by? It is important to determine what values you believe to be true, as opposed to what you have been programmed by family, culture, or others to believe is true. It’s a good idea to review these from time to time in order to stay current with any new insights that have been gained.
MODIFYING BEHAVIOR
After ascertaining just what values you want to live or operate by, the next step is to take a good look at how your life aligns with those values. You may need to make some adjustments here.
INNER EXPLORATION
Often there are unconscious or childhood memories that keep us from expressing our truer nature. By confronting and understanding them, we are better able to ameliorate any inappropriate behavior.
And, also, give thought to the body/mind connection. Often the egoic mind fools us into thinking we can’t do something before we even try. The mind is a wonderful servant, but a poor master. Go into your heart space for the most accurate information.
SEEK THE EVOLUTIONARY PERSPECTIVE
There is an evolutionary process that seems to seek the higher good. In psychology this has often been referred to as the “Organic Process,” or in some circles it is called the “Evolutionary Impulse.” Religion would call it “God’s Will,” while other spiritual movements would say “Divine Order.” All are speaking of the same process. It is here that hindsight is better than foresight, and acceptance of what can’t be changed, or “going with the flow,” is the wiser way. And, in the end, we often find that which we resisted most eventually produced incredibly positive results.
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This article is written by Ione Jenson, an educator and counselor in both public and private school systems. She was also an owner and director of a Holistic Retreat and Spiritual Counseling Center for over 23 years.
She has written, among other books published by Hay House, the recently released book: Coming Full Circle through Changes, Challenges and Transitions. Available at book stores and Amazon.
Find her on Facebook at http://ift.tt/1cQ63ll and her blog at http://ift.tt/1Pg19zv.
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5 Easy Ways To Empty Your Mind Before Bed
Do you lie awake at bedtime with thoughts running rampant in your mind? If you’re busy or stressed, then your mind is likely to be on overdrive much of the time. Then when you lie down in bed at the end of the day, your racing mind is still on autopilot, chattering away to itself, thinking of anything and everything it possibly can.
Sometimes the thoughts that keep you awake are somewhat useful to you, such as remembering the groceries that you need to buy tomorrow, or your plans to catch up with friends on the weekend.
Yes, these thoughts are worthy of your attention, but not when it’s time to sleep!
If overthinking is keeping you awake at night, here’s 5 easy tips to empty your mind before going to sleep.
- Write down your thoughts
There are a number of ways that you can document your thoughts and get them out of your head so that they don’t bounce around up there keeping you awake all night. The old-fashioned pen and paper do a fine job. But if you have a device in your bedroom then you can use a note-taking app, like Evernote to get your thoughts into a safe place and store them for later.
- Visualize
If you’re bombarded with thoughts as soon as you hop into bed, a simple visualization can help calm your mind. Imagine that next to your bed is a big basket, and every time a thought pops up and tries to hook you in, imagine that thought floating out of your mind and into the basket. Know that the thought is safe, that you can review it at another time, but for now the only thing that you need to focus on is getting that thought out of your head!
- Meditate
Regular meditation has a multitude of benefits, including improved sleep and a calmer mind. Meditate daily to reduce your predisposition to having a racing mind, or meditate by focusing on your breathing when you hop into bed to relax your mind and body, ready for sleep.
- Promise to continue your thinking at another time
Your mind is persistent. It will keep spinning around ideas, worries, problems and solutions as long as you allow it to. If you notice a recurring idea or thought, try making a deal with your mind, saying to it “I promise that I’ll make some time tomorrow to give this thought the time and attention that it deserves, but for now, I need to get some sleep.” You will, of course need to fulfill your promises!
- Do all of your thinking before you get into bed
If you’re notorious for busying yourself or indulging in screen-time right up until bedtime, then maybe your mind comes alive as you hop into bed, going over the day and planning for tomorrow. This can become an unhelpful habit that interferes with your ability to get to sleep on time. Try switching off your devices and creating some quiet time prior to bed to set your mind free and get your thinking done. Once you’ve finished, you can go to bed with an empty mind and sleep soundly every night.
Naomi Goodlet is a Best-Selling Author, Spiritual Rebel, Happiness Hacker and Mindfulness Crusader. Find out more about her and her free meditations here.
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5 Ways to Fight Negative Thoughts
Are you tired of that little voice inside your head that won’t give you a break? Who wouldn’t be? It’s like a crazy little monkey that never sleeps. Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired for negative thinking. That makes sense if you think about it. After all, spotting potential threats was a matter of life and death throughout most of human history.
In modern times, however, daily life is, for most people, devoid of life-threatening dangers. As such, our negative thoughts do little more than rob us of our happiness, and the inability to control them can create havoc in our lives.
In this article, I’ll give you five ways to put that crazy little monkey to bed.
- Repeat a Mantra
The brain is a very powerful machine, but it’s incapable of thinking two things at the same time. You can use this to your advantage by repeating a mantra as soon as you have a negative thought. Continue repeating it until the thought disappears. Sounds pretty simple, right?
It is, in theory, but you’ll likely notice a strong urge to reflect upon or react to your negative thoughts or emotions. It’s important to resist these urges and focus on repeating the mantra. Personally, I like to repeat the mantra “I love myself”. No matter how much power your thoughts may seem to have on you, the reality is that their lifespan is very short. Fight the urge to react to the negatives ones until they go away.
- Switch from Foveal to Peripheral Vision
We have two different types of vision: peripheral and foveal. Peripheral vision allows us to track movements in our surroundings and keeps us in a state of openness and awareness. When you focus on the space around you without concentrating on a specific person or object, you’re using peripheral vision.
On the other hand, foveal vision allows us to keep track of a moving target to discern whether or not it constitutes a potential threat. Whenever you focus on a specific object, you’re using foveal vision.
There was a time when humans relied primarily upon peripheral vision. Now, however, most of us spend a lot of time looking at our phones, computers, TVs, and books, among other things. As a result, we continue to rely more and more on our foveal vision.
When you have a negative thought, switch into peripheral vision. There is a link between the use of peripheral vision and arousal of the parasympathetic nervous system, which increases awareness, reduces stress, and stops internal dialogue.
- Label your Negative Thoughts as Useless
You can use the word “useless” to discard your negative thoughts. I once read about a successful business leader who used this trick to interrupt and eradicate negative thought patterns. Anything you can think of that will interrupt the pattern will do the trick. If there’s an association between your thought and a certain feeling, you can name the emotion when you have the thought. Labeling your thoughts and emotions creates an instant separation between you and them. This separation allows you to observe your thoughts objectively rather than being caught in the fight-or-flight response.
- Carefully Observe your Thoughts
Observe your negative thoughts with curiosity and objectivity, as a scientist would do. Remember that you are not your thoughts; they can’t disturb you without your consent. However, they can be destructive if you aren’t careful and tend to demand your attention when you’re tired or bored. They may even show up uninvited and demand your attention for no particular reason. The good news is that they’ll leave you alone if you refuse to give it to them.
- Record your Thoughts
Writing things down is a great way to clear your mind and gain more objectivity. When you record your thoughts, it’s almost like giving your mind permission to stop having them. It’s another way to create separation from what you’re thinking and take an impartial look at it. Once you write down what you’re thinking and decide what to do with it, your mind will be less likely to come back and haunt you with the same thoughts.
Let me give you a final tip from neuroscience to help you resist the urge to ruminate: The less we think about something, the weaker the neural pathways associated with that thought or topic become. Yes, your thoughts affect your brain on a physiological level. The more you resist the urge to think a certain thought or ponder a particular subject, the harder it will be for your brain to come up with those thoughts or issues.
Fighting the urge to react to your negative thoughts can be hard at times. When that happens, just say, “I’m rewiring my brain every time I stop myself from thinking this thought. That’s what I’m doing right now.” How cool is that?
Try these tips and give that crazy little monkey a much-needed rest.
Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to durably transform both his life and the lives of others. He just released a free e-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development”. Visit his website to discover the 5 principles you must master in order to live a full life.
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10 Signs You’re Exceptionally Smart Though You Don’t Appear To Be
You could say that there plenty of not-so-bright people walking around, but it’s not that there are so many of them, it’s just that they are usually the loudest. There are a lot of extremely intelligent people out there, but they simply don’t advertise the fact that they are smart. It comes natural to them, and they try to live their lives freely and without consciously drawing attention to themselves. You can call it modesty or plain old good manners, but these people tend to look and sound quite average, until they surprise you with a gem of wisdom. Here are some of the tell-tale signs that you might be one smart cookie, without appearing so.
1. You’re a night owl
As recent research suggests, those who prefer to stay up late, and do their best work at night, average higher IQ scores than morning people. That being said, staying up late won’t magically hack your brain into being smarter – smarter people are just more likely to work and party during the night, and sleep in. While all your friends are fast asleep, you are browsing the web for information, reading, learning to play the guitar and finishing up different projects – since this happens behind the scenes, your knowledge and skills will often be a surprise to people.
2. You’re the silent type
You’ll find plenty of misconceptions about quiet people, e.g. being labeled as introverts, socially awkward and so on. This isn’t necessarily true, and while not all quiet people are necessarily smart, highly intelligent people will often refrain from speaking if they are accessing a situation. They will take some time to think about what was said and prepare an adequate response, and they find silence better than pointless small talk.
3. You face your problems
You may find yourself faced with a bunch of difficult problems, but a smart person won’t let that bring them down. A very smart person will know how to prioritize and deal with problems as they arise, before things even get a chance to start spinning out of control. If you are the type of person who faces problems and welcomes challenges, always dancing on the age of your comfort zone, chances are that you are fairly intelligent.
4. You hang out with smart and creative people
The company you keep is a good reflection of who you are as a person. Exceptionally smart people will tend to hang out with people like them, i.e. smart, creative and cultured. There are always some exceptions, but if about 80% of the people in your life are intelligent and interesting, you probably fit that description as well.
5. You strive for perfection
There might not be anything that hints at great intelligence in your appearance or speech, the way you conduct yourself is an excellent indicator. Intelligent people always strive for perfection, so each time you see them you’ll be able to notice a few small improvements. They are always a bit different than before. This perfectionist mentality is applied to all aspects of life, from trying to look their best or working on being a great speaker, to spending hours practicing their golf swing or dart throw.
6. You tend to be quite self-critical
There are plenty of narcissists out there who sometimes lie to themselves and others about how good they are at something, so it’s a breath of fresh air to see someone being self-critical and accepting critique. Although someone might not be actively trying to impress and come off as smart, the ability to acknowledge one’s own faults and the willingness to work on correcting them can give their intelligence away.
7. You like to stay informed
Intelligent people like to be up to date with the latest development in a number of different fields, always trying to improve themselves bit by bit. A smart person will stay up to date with local and global news, as well as try to learn all he or she can about topics that are directly related to their life or are interesting to them. Gathering information, learning new things and developing useful skills is a lifelong goal for highly intelligent people, and they will always have a way of keeping themselves busy.
8. You’re constantly occupied with tons of different projects
Speaking of keeping busy, a good indicator that you are dealing with a very smart person is the fact that they always have a few projects that they are working on. They might be brushing up on their French and learning a few useful Mandarin phrases, reading up on DIY home repairs, taking dancing lessons, working on some new recipes in the kitchen, or compiling a book on early medieval architecture. While a lot of people like to keep busy, a smart person will fill their free time with activities that help them improve in one way or another. Not all smart people are very productive, but it can be a good indicator of higher intellect.
9. You ask all the right questions
When talking to a smart person who doesn’t blow his or her own horn, you’ll notice that they don’t try to hijack the conversation or start long monologues. They will actually sit there quietly and listen to what you have to say, allowing for a few moments of silence here and there as they think things over. However, once they ask a question it really hits the spot. They actually give helpful advice or even get you to come to the right conclusions on your own. If your friends enjoy talking to you and tell you that you are a good listener, you are probably a good friend, and an intelligent one at that.
10. You don’t think that you are exceptionally smart
Due to something called the Dunning-Kruger effect people with a low level of competence will tend to overestimate their abilities, whereas highly competent people will tend to sell themselves short. This is due to the fact that the more intelligent, informed and skilled you are, the more you realize just how much space there is to further improve and you are not satisfied with your current knowledge or skill level.
True intelligence cannot really be hidden away or masked effectively, nor is this the point of exceptionally smart people who appear seemingly normal. They wear their intelligence proudly, but they don’t flaunt it, although these ten sings are a dead giveaway.
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7 Key Differences Between Successful People And Unsuccessful People
There is always a clear cut difference between the successful and the unsuccessful. The difference in habits and decisions give birth to what is either being talked about or what is not. Adjusting and aligning your thoughts with successful people will start to have a profound effect on how people see you. It will also help in understanding the daily habits that successful people use to fine tune their values and standards.
To define the actions of successful people, John Paul DeJoria, the billionaire behind brand names such as Paul Michell hair products and Patron tequila, explains what a ‘successful’ person is: “Successful people do all the things that unsuccessful people don’t want to do.”
Success has elements attached to it from hard work, determination and perseverance. It goes beyond the desire to be successful and reaches in to taking action to make a difference. This infographic offers more by explaining what extra factors the successful have over the unsuccessful.
Their success is dependent on the success of others
They understand that change is constant and they move with the trends rather than get stuck at a spot.
They are focused on getting their creativity juices going.
They are in charge of their success
Their desire for knowledge is unending
They are grateful and show genuine appreciation
They never burn bridges
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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com
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20 Secret Ways to Build Your Confidence
Want to build your confidence? Here are 20 ways to help you build it.
Act as If
The saying, “Fake it ’til you make it” is true. Confidence is all about how you feel, and if you start acting as if you are confident, you will be.
Use Affirmations
Repeat the mantra every day to yourself, “Today I’m starting to feel more confident in myself.” What you continually say to yourself will eventually become true in your own thinking.
Realize What Limiting Beliefs are Holding You Back
If you believe that you’re “not good enough” or ugly, then you won’t be able to feel confident. Get aware of what limiting beliefs are weighing you down.
Change Your Posture/Power Pose
It’s a scientific fact that changing your posture sends a signal to your brain, and tells your brain how to feel. Stand up straight, with your shoulders back, and then see how you feel.
Model Other Confident People
Know a confident friend? Observe them and start to model how they act and how they think. You’ll eventually take on their confident energy.
Exercise/Work Out
Hit the gym and see how you feel afterwards. Lift weights and bench press or do push-ups. You’ll notice that you’ll be standing taller when you leave.
Visualize Yourself Being Confident
Schwarzenegger did it. He imagined himself on stage winning first place in bodybuilding competitions. If you can see it in your mind, you can create it in your life.
Recount Your Successes
Recall the times when you were successful — when you got a good grade, met a new friend, or got the job you wanted. Reminding yourself of these times will remind you that you are capable of doing it again.
List Out the Things You Love About Yourself
When you list out 10 things that you love about yourself, you’ll focus your mind on the reasons why you’re great. And then you’ll feel better about yourself. Try it!
Journal Power Questions
Ask yourself “Power Questions” and then write down your answers. For instance, “What’s holding me back from feeling more confident?” “What do I need to believe in order to increase my self-confidence?”
Do Activities that Build Your Confidence
When do you feel most confident? If it’s playing a sport, writing a story, or walking your dog, then do that activity. Do the activities that make you feel powerful.
Identify Your Inner Critic
Is there a voice in your head telling you that “You’re not good enough”? Recognize the voice — your inner critic — and realize that what it’s saying isn’t even true.
Dress Better
Look the part. Go shopping or start wearing your best clothes. You’ll see yourself better and feel more satisfied with how others see you.
Trust in Your Competence
Know that you’re good at what you do. Know that you’ve had successes in the past, and you’ve gotten to where you are today from being extremely capable.
Get a Confidence Coach
Hire a life coach to help you find ways to build your confidence. They’ll give you exercises and “Power Questions” to help you find your mental blocks.
Project Your Voice
Confident people speak more loudly. Shy people speak lower. Don’t be afraid to speak up and project your voice a little more, even if others overhear you.
Avoid People Who Put You Down
Stop spending time with people who make you feel small or unworthy. Avoid hanging out with people who put you down or make you feel bad about your capabilities.
Expect Success
Imagine that success is on its way, and you’ll take on a new attitude. Expect that things will work out, and you’ll feel more optimistic.
Listen to Music that Pumps You Up
Play your favorite tunes that empower and inspire you, the music that makes you feel great. Rocky soundtrack, anyone?
Ask a Friend
Ask a close friend or family member what else you can do to feel more confident. They know you all too well, and they might help you identify what you need to do.
Want to feel more confident? Feeling stuck in a rut? Click here to learn what a life coach is and read our complete guide to find out how to find a life coach and move your life forward. At Life Coach Spotter, we help you build your confidence, find your path, reach your goals, and create the life you want.
The post 20 Secret Ways to Build Your Confidence appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
How to Stop Procrastinating: What I Learned During 3 Weeks of Hell
It was dark in my room. Quiet too. I could feel the warmth coming from the 3rd story window in our apartment building, but I had the shades down because I needed to focus.
It had been 2 weeks since the semester had ended, and I was still working.
What in god’s name was I doing there… weeks after everyone else had headed home to their families, summer jobs, and relaxing vacations?
I asked myself that a lot during those few weeks after the end of my Junior year.
The answer?
I was finishing a project.
Our junior product design project, required by the engineering curriculum at my school. A project we had long-since actually completed and presented on. But this was the worst part of all: the massive, ungodly long, painfully tedious PROJECT REPORT.
Our team’s final grades were being held until we finished, along with most other students in the class. The sheer amount of work required to get those 100+ pages of technical reporting done was impossible to squeeze into a semester already bulging at the seams with classes, work, and exhaustion. And I, nobly, had volunteered to pull together everyone’s work and finish off the report (P.S. – worst group project decision ever…).
The problem was I was losing steam.
Every second I just barely inched along – struggling to make yet another table, chart, caption…
“This is stupid.”
“What’s the point?”
I could get myself to do just about anything at that point… anything except make progress on the one thing I actually needed to be doing.
Why studying is so friggin’ hard to get yourself to do?
“…the brain is not designed for thinking. It’s designed to save you from having to think, because the brain is actually not very good at thinking. Thinking is slow and unreliable.”
~ Daniel Willingham, cognitive scientist and author of Why Don’t Students Like School?
quickmeme.com
As students, both in school and in life, we constantly put pressure on ourselves to learn.
Learn more. Learn faster. Fit it all in.
But most of the time, it backfires.
“I know I should be studying, but I can’t stop watching re-runs of Seinfeld… Why am I so lazy?”
Like UVA cognitive scientist Daniel Willingham helpfully reminds us, the brain is designed primarily to support the survival functions (seeing, hearing, moving, etc.) that keep us going.
Thinking (the thing everyone seems to care about these days) is actually an evolutionary “nice-to-have” – a high-energy-cost activity that takes focus away from survival to build new thought patterns that might be helpful later on.
We are, as they say, cognitive misers.
We put ourselves on a “brain energy budget,” refusing to expend effort unless we can see a good reason why…
And not the logical, rational, “I should do this” type of reason. A more primal reason.
Motivation is not enough to stop procrastinating
A lot of this we chock up to motivation.
“Ugh, I just can’t get motivated to do math.”
But motivation is much more complex, fluid, and fleeting than we think.
It comes and goes like a wave… and is directly tied, not only to the “voice in our heads,” but also to our biology.
When we’re motivated, everything is good. Everything is easy. It’s like we’re on happy pills, and the work flows effortlessly.
And we don’t even need a plan!
When I’m motivated I’ll gleefully walk up to my shelf, pick up some random book (usually the most colorful) and start learning – just because it seems interesting! I’ll do the dishes, walk the dog, fold the clothes, go work out… The difficulties in life seem to melt away.
But then it starts to fade, and we fall back to baseline.
The true problem arises when we’re not motivated: it’s like a long slog through hot cement – an eternal struggle just to make it to the desk to even think about opening your notebook.
When that happens, and you try to “just study,” it’s more hopeless than Ron Burgandy without a teleprompter.
quickmeme.com
Unfortunately, we do it to ourselves.
First, we put a HUGE amount of pressure on ourselves to succeed. Our identity becomes tied to being a “smart person,” and any evidence to the contrary (points off on homework, a bad exam grade, a mistake in a meeting at work) becomes a catalyst for a downward de-motivational spiral. We subscribe to a fixed-mindset, and we do it without even knowing it.
We’re all really really afraid of looking stupid.
And that makes it just that much more likely that the motivation won’t come when we want it to.
Second, we plan as if we’ll always be motivated.
“Oh yea, I’ll just figure it all out once I get to the library. Just gotta read the textbook and go through the lecture notes and stuff.”
But that’s only like 5% of our daily experience!
95% of the time, I’m completely overwhelmed by any task more complex than “go to the bathroom,” “lie down,” or “chew.”
So here I was, sitting by myself, wishing every second I was anywhere else besides in front of the computer.
I made food.
I watched Youtube videos.
I checked Facebook and email and text messages and ANYTHING PLEASE FINISH THIS FOR ME!!
I even remember trying to slog through by typing super slowly… O n e l e t t e r at a time.
And then I would catch a short burst of “OK LET’S DO THIS!” and write about 3 pages, and then get exhausted again.
I was doing it all wrong – trying to force my brain to get focused and motivated on this monumental task of “WRITE PROJECT REPORT.”
Think damnit!!
The procrastination trump card: How to get yourself to work, even when motivation is low
Okay, time to switch gears. Back to Mr. Willingham…
“Nevertheless, people enjoy mental work if it is successful. People like to solve problems, but not to work on unsolvable problems.”
Turns out, solving problems actually brings pleasure!
And our brains are more than happy to expend energy on solvable problems, releasing dopamine every time we make some visible progress.
The only trouble lies in figuring out how to break down your work so that you perceive it as “solvable.”
So, instead of waiting for motivation to strike, and then working like a madman… do this:
1. Whenever a wave of motivation strikes, use it for planning, not working.
These short bursts of energy throughout the day will get you over the mental hurdle of having to think about big complex tasks.
So take advantage intelligently, and break down your big monstrous task into smaller, manageable chunks that can be reasonably tackled during the “down periods” that will inevitably plague you later.
For me that would have been mapping out the report outline, breaking it into chunks: Intro, Background Research, Design, Manufacturing, Testing and Data Collection, etc.
Then taking each of those chunks, and breaking them into smaller pieces. For example, the Results section would have 4 tables and 12 graphs on X, Y, and Z followed by captions and a short description for each.
For a set of math problems, this might be breaking them down by concept (e.g. the product rule, the quotient rule, the chain rule, etc.), and then managing each problem by breaking it down into parts (e.g. differentiate first, then algebra, then plug in).
2. Don’t only focus on your goal, create a system for getting there.
Humans are goal oriented. Goals are good. Me likey goals.
But setting the goal only frames the activity that you’ll then need to do. Staring at that shiny trophy isn’t going to get you any closer to actually getting it.
So instead, set up a system that will inevitably lead you to the finish line.
In my case, this would have been a daily schedule, along with my chunked down task list above. Plus some sort of reward/punishment setup.
Monday is for the Intro and Background Research sections. For each 25-minute period of work I’ll aim to get either one sub-section of writing done, or annotate those sections with footnotes from references. Each time I get through a work period, I’ll reward myself with a 5-minute break. Then, if I get everything done for the day, I get to relax and watch a goofy documentary and order food.
3. Sleeeeeep!!!
Sleep consolidates learning.
Sleep releases growth hormone and repairs your body.
Sleep builds up your mental capacity.
But our culture FRIGGIN HATES SLEEP. Sleep is for the weak! I’ll sleep when I die!! What a waste of time!
Well, unfortunately sometimes our culture is also pretty stupid.
Sleep is the necessary counterpart to high achievement, ESPECIALLY in learning.
The deeper you go into the energy reserves of your mind and body, the more rest you need to recuperate and consolidate your gains.
What do super-performers like Jeff Bezos, LeBron James, and Arianna Huffington have in common?
Spoiler alert: IT’S 7-10 HOURS OF SLEEP!!
Sleep is directly correlated with both motivation and clear thinking: a student’s dream (no pun intended).
‘nough said.
Oh, so what happened with my project?
Got it finished (after three grueling weeks), got a 94%, got an A in the class.
But damn it didn’t have to be that hard…
Feature image credit: SuperFantastic
If you liked this post (and are tired of banging your head against the wall) check out my Free 5-Day No-BS Study Tactics Course where I’ll help you beat procrastination, reduce study time, and achieve deep focused learning in your math, science, or engineering courses.
Tom is an engineer and physics tutor obsessed with independent learning. He writes about unconventional study methods at WTF Professor, aimed at simplifying the learning process for engineers and technical students.
The post How to Stop Procrastinating: What I Learned During 3 Weeks of Hell appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Sig Nordal 