Everyone’s different: we flock together and become friends mainly because we have common interests. For example, the only reason why we’re close to our acquaintances is because we support the same sports team. In many cases, being different reached extreme levels and could have caused us to become isolated from the people around us, particularly our loved ones. In my case, I was the only regular male student in my college class for a long time. It was difficult fitting in with my classmates, but fortunately, it all worked out in the end.

However, difference can be seen as a flaw, and we all know society is cruel: people will always find ways to ridicule and insult these “flaws”. The aftermath will then pave the way for three instances: first is isolation, second is denial, and third is self-inflicted harm.

• Isolation – after receiving insults, a likely reaction is to avoid all contact with the people who threw them in order to prevent further damage.

• Denial – denying you’re different and your flaws. By doing so, you’ll do your best to “fit in” and in the process, forget who you truly are.

• Self-inflicted harm – in some cases, people have hurt themselves through self-wounding, which is a horrible deed that should be corrected immediately. This behavior is the product of isolation and denial: the loneliness consumes you, destroying your self-worth and by hurting yourself, you unconsciously think it’s a way to kill your “flaws”.

If you’re different, you should never change UNLESS if it’s for the better. Here are some steps which will help you deal with it and improve your outlook.

#1. Keep yourself busy with people who accept you

Take inspiration from the cliché quote, “birds of the same feather flock together”, go with people who different in the same way as you are. For example, if you’re classified as a comic book geek and ridiculed because of it, why not pair up with another comic book fan and talk about the latest releases?

Being busy will deviate your attention from the negativity of your supposed “flaws” and in turn make it an asset. Being with people who share the same interests will fill your need “to belong to a flock”, thus eliminating loneliness. Other than be in company with them, spend time with your family and siblings, even if you don’t get along with them that much. A little effort on your part goes a long way.

#2. Improve it

Sometimes, we’re alike, but it’s what makes us different. Over 650 million people around the world suffer from acne vulgaris, and this skin condition is the main reason a lot of teenagers have low self-esteem. Pockmarked cheeks, chins, chests and foreheads are targets for insults, which will render anyone to furiously cover it with makeup or make it worse by picking it. Keep in mind that seven out of a hundred acne sufferers have considered suicide.

Acne, along with other problems like body odor, profuse sweating, being overweight and insecure can be eliminated through self-improvement. By practicing proper hygiene, using organic, safe and natural acne treatments, along with other positive lifestyle changes will certainly eliminate these perceived flaws and enable you to be more confident.

#3. Use your difference to make a difference

 A friend of mine named Keziah once told me: “You can set yourself apart from others not because you’re different, but because you make a difference”. Let yourself be known by making a positive change by using your “difference” as a catapult to do great things. For example, if you’re suffering from some sort of disability, why not put up a support group for people with the same problem? If deaf people composed timeless music and paralyzed persons explained quantum gravity and discovered black holes, then you’re definitely able to do great things yourself.

Start now.

Mikhail Blacer is a sports junkie currently the sports editor for Scoopfed, an online magazine and works part time as a peer counselor in his locality. Strike up a conversation through his e-mail (mikhailblaceroffice@gmail.com) and Twitter. 

The post Being Different and Getting Over It: How To Accept and Improve appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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You’re lying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep.  As you start to doze off, you are overcome with an incredible feeling.  You can’t quite put your finger on it.  Did you turn off the oven after dinner?  No, that’s not it.  Did you prepare the coffee for tomorrow?  Yes, so that’s not it.  That report for work…did you forget something?  No, you went over it three times, so that’s not it.  You feel like the room is closing in.  Something is definitely wrong.  You’re having trouble breathing and you can feel your blood pressure rising.  Then it hits you…

…the stress that’s been building slowly, from everyday pressures, has finally got to you; you’re having a panic attack.

Life is busy, and those events and pressures create stress that has a negative effect on your mind and body. Job performance, relationships, children, schedules, traffic congestion, money problems, illness, and interactions with negative people all contribute to your stress.  You’ve got to reduce the amount of stress in your life to be healthy.  So what can you do?

Meditation is a wonderful long term solution to reducing stress.  Meditation promotes relaxation, gives you a sense of well-being, peace and calm, and a clear the mind.  It also can help ease health concerns.   It helps you restore your mental equilibrium and balance.  But how do you fit in another activity into your already busy life? You can combine meditation with a very basic, everyday activity that is essential to your needs, and that activity is cooking.  There are many forms and levels of meditation.  Start out with the enjoyment of a simple task and work your way up to the Loving-Kindness level.

1. Simple Tasks Encourage Peace

One of the most basic forms of meditation is finding peace and enjoyment in simple daily tasks.  Cooking is a simple daily task.  You can also attempt complex recipes to give yourself more practice at both cooking and meditation.  Easy soups and casseroles now become a peace-enriched event.  Soak up even more peace by trying a more in-depth recipe by extending your experience in the kitchen.

2. Silent Reflection

Silent reflection is a great way to get in touch with your emotions and thoughts.  If you let your mind wander, there are many realizations and epiphanies that you can allow yourself to acknowledge.  Cooking is a great place to let your mind wander as you perform the simple tasks, and be aware of where your thoughts take you.

3. Therapeutic Relaxation through Repetition

Repetition is relaxing and therapeutic by focusing only on the task at hand. Cooking is full of repetitive action, from cutting, to peeling, to stirring, to grating, to mixing, and much more.

4. Mindfulness

Merrium-Webster defines Mindfulness as: 1.  the quality or state of being mindful 2. the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis; also:  such a state of awareness.  Cooking is a great activity in which to practice Mindfulness.  Be present in the moment to take in the sensory information of the food you are cooking.  The smells, the colors, the tastes, the feeling of the food, and the sounds are all senses to be aware of.  What emotions do these experiences evoke?  What thoughts do they bring to mind?  Be aware of these emotions and thoughts, and acknowledge them.

5. Loving-Kindness Meditation

The Loving-Kindness level of meditation takes the most focus and attention.  You may need to work up to this level before you attempt it.  You must develop a love for yourself first, and then work toward others.  Infuse the food with love and kindness by actively reflecting on yourself or the loved ones you are cooking for as you cook. Love is the secret ingredient of the tastiest dishes, after all!  Typically, you would visualize yourself or your loved ones smiling at you, and feeling happy.  Visualization is just one form of the Loving-Kindness Meditation. To incorporate this into cooking, visualize yourself or your loved ones smiling and happy as they (or you) eat the food you have prepared.

So what will you cook to help you relieve your stress?

Crystal is the founder of Simply Playful Fare, a food blog with an emphasis on cooking from scratch and a twist of humor. She’s a native Montanan who loves to create.  She has always been passionate about cooking, baking, and eating, and food has been a huge part of her family. She learned how to cook from her Grandmother (who learned to cook from her French Grandmother) and her Mother. Writing is her other passion, after her husband of course. She has a degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing.

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Happiness can be seen as a state of mind. It’s how we perceive our lives and the world around us. But our inside thoughts can be radically shaped by our actions and behavior in the outside world. Just like forcing a smile can make you feel better, our habits can subtly influence our feelings.

And people don’t necessarily build the healthiest habits. How many people do you know that smoke or drink to excess? We all have the potential to build destructive habits that could be hindering our happiness.

Since happiness is so important, it’s essential to discover these destructive and damaging habits so we can correct them. Otherwise happiness might just become harder and harder to find.

Here are seven destructive habits that might be keeping you from being happy.

1. The need to please others

There’s nothing wrong with finding joy when people are pleased with you. But there’s a big difference between “liking’ when people are pleased with you and “needing” to please people. It’s that “need” that becomes troublesome.

Needing other people’s approval is harmful because you give away your own personal power. Instead of doing things for your own reasons, you start to do them for the sake of others. Instead of listening to your heart for guidance, you listen to other’s opinions.

Your life is yours to live. Once others start dictating your actions and decisions, it becomes much harder to live the life you want.

2. Defining success too narrowly

We all define our own success as a goal or vision based upon what we want out of life. But when we define success too narrowly and it becomes specifically about reaching “X”, we can make ourselves unhappy.

If you’ve set in your mind that success only happens when you reach that goal, you’ll always feel like a failure until you’ve reached it. As a result, you’ll feel unhappy and dissatisfied with how your life is going.

Rather than using only one narrow measure for success, think of multiple ways to define it. If you take a good look at your life, you’ll probably notice a lot of things you’re doing well. Don’t discount all the things that are going great in life simply because you haven’t reached a narrowly defined goal.

3. Complaining too much

Complaints can serve a real purpose if they help you get something off your chest or bring about real change. Voicing your frustrations is a natural way of dealing with them.

But complaining too much is counter-productive. Rather than serving a useful purpose, it becomes about bitterness and negativity.

Instead of getting upset at important, meaningful problems, you get mad at the little things that normally don’t matter. That can make it seem as if the world is full of problems and difficulties that really aren’t there. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when the whole world seems negative.

4. Trying to control everything

Life is inherently unpredictable. Even if you plan everything out, something can always come along to change things.

Trying to plan out and control everything will only drive you crazy. There’s simply no way to account for every contingency.

There is always an element of uncertainty about the future. Nothing is completely predictable. Sometimes you just have to let things happen and stop trying so hard to control everything.

5. Comparing your story to everyone else’s

There’s a lot of truth in the saying, “the grass is always greener on the other side”. No matter how good you have it, someone somewhere will always seem to have it just a little better.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. Often that’s how we gauge our progress and find motivation to do even more with our lives.

But if you’re constantly examining how good others’ lives are, you start to forget all the good things going on in your own. And that can lead to low self-esteem and depression.

Instead of spending so much time noticing what others have, start reflecting on all the wonderful things you have going for you.

6. Dwelling on negative experiences from the past

If you spend a lot of time thinking about the mistakes and regrets from the past, it will come at the expense of today. Anger, frustration and resentment can act as emotional dead weight and make it difficult to find happiness. Until you learn from them and move on, you’ll spend too much time on events that are completely outside of your control.

Your past is over and done so there’s very little you can do about it. Any time and energy that you spend thinking and worrying about them would be better spent on situations that are happening in your life right now.

7. Being too hard on yourself

Sometimes it shocks me how critical people can be of their own mistakes and failures. They’ll say horrible things to themselves, even about the simplest errors.

It’s important to live and work in a mindset that is free of harsh criticism and self-deprecating thoughts. By coming down on yourself too harshly, you’ll second guess trying something new or hold back from taking risks. The last thing you want to do is limit an action that might make you happier.

Instead of being a critic, you should be your own cheerleader. Cheerleaders keep rooting for their team even if they’re not doing well. If you get into this “cheerleader” mindset, you’ll keep your spirits high and feel the freedom to move your life in the direction you want.

Steve is the writer behind Do Something Cool where he blogs about travel, motivation, self improvement and adventure. He’s always looking for ways to make life more interesting. For fresh ideas on living life to the fullest, join his newsletter.

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So you’ve been working in your job for years and finally that opportunity for promotion which you’ve been waiting for comes along but it’s not going to be that simple is it? You see the rest of your colleagues and team have been waiting for it too and suddenly you’ve turned from a close-knit group of comrades to rivals all vying for this rare opportunity. God only knows when the next chance for a promotion will come up – probably when Stefan, your current line manager, dies but he looks to be in good shape and you can’t see that happening unless he gets hit by a bus. To make matters worse he drives everywhere so there’s definitely no chance of him catching a bus let alone get hit by one. No – You’re going to need to get this job and beat everyone else – so how do you do it?

You will have to be the one that stands out, that’s how – but it’s not going to come down to this application alone – you see when it comes to working in a close knit team your boss already has a good idea of who is capable and who isn’t so you need to sow the seeds for promotion well before such an opportunity arises.

Here are 5 things you can start to do that will help you standout for that promotion when it comes along.

1. In every team meeting always take a notepad and pen with you and appear to be writing and interested in whatever issues your boss thinks are important. It doesn’t matter what you’re actually writing in this notepad of yours, hell you could be playing hangman or doodling some drawings but as long as he see’s you as interested and engaged in what he has to say you’ll look like someone who takes what he thinks seriously with a genuine interest and with the same priorities.

2. Never be seen to become emotional, upset or angry. In the working environment it’s a sign of weakness unfortunately. When your boss has to choose who to promote he needs someone he feels he can count on that’s going to be strong and sale the ship in his absence – not someone who’s going to fall apart under stress. Someone who is seen to become angry or annoyed too often or even upset will be seen as too vulnerable or a liability to handle a senior position. People in management tend to make ruthless cut-throat decisions such as asking people to work longer or deny them annual leave when a job needs doing. Someone who’s seen as too emotionally weak doesn’t fit the criteria for someone with a backbone strong enough to make those tough calls or handle pressure. Now that’s not to say you can’t be softer once you get the job but you need to at least show you have a strong side to you.

3. Volunteer for overtime when the boss asks for it so he can remember you as stepping up. When cover is required and he is seen to ask for it be sure to step up. If its not asked directly by him and through someone else, you don’t have to do it. The point is he remembers you as the one stepping in when cover is needed. If someone else is asking and then seeing you step in, he won’t really know too much of you going out your way to help the cause so its better to do it when he asks so you’re on his radar.

4. Always dress well around your seniors although I accept this can be annoying to always do. A few years ago, when I worked in the corporate environment at a major bank, it wasn’t mandatory to wear smart clothes all the time as we weren’t working with the public or partners but I always made sure I wore a shirt, trousers and a decent suit. Many other people always wore casual clothing as it was acceptable to do this. However a re-structuring came along and we all had to reapply for our jobs. One strange thing I noticed was the people “perceived” by senior management as taking their job much more casually through their sense of dress were made redundant. Oddly people that always gave the impression of professionalism (regardless of being good at their job or not) were retained. I realized here that image was everything and it goes a long way. Its not always what you know or how hard you work but how hard you are perceived to be working sometimes and people make snap judgements based on your appearances. It’s one of our biggest senses (sight) so give a good impression always, even if you are not as good as someone else, image can compensate for that.

5. Try and be the best at what you do among your colleagues. If you get promoted and your colleagues perceive you as not good enough for the job, they can come to resent you. If you actually try to be the best in what you do and they can see that, it becomes acceptable for them that you are the natural choice and your boss will see that too. He will want to promote someone he feels the rest of the team can come to respect while maintaining harmony and they will respect people who are actually good at their job and work hard. So be the best you can be.

Bio: Saj Devshi teaches psychology students on his website Loopa Psychology Revision– You can find him lurking there.

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Welcome to the battle for progressive conscious awareness!

Today’s fight is between the challenger – YOU, and the reigning champ –“Procrastination”!

Alright you two, I want a clean and efficient fight! No eye gouging, no hair pulling, and no ear biting!

The winner gets full control of the conscious willpower of the individual!

I hope you’ve laced up your gloves. Are you ready?! Ring the bell!

5. Start by Asking “Where is Procrastination “Pointing” Me?”

Stop perceiving procrastination as a problem to be overcome, and start perceiving it as a compass pointing you directly toward its own solution.

First on our list is sort of a self-trick, because it’s actually a transcendental, empowering truth in disguise! The key to really start buckling down on procrastination is to:

1. Stop worrying about why you’re procrastinating.
2. Become consciously aware of what it is that you’re actually doing instead of what you’re “supposed to be” doing.

If you’re avoiding work that others are insisting is of serious importance – and you just can’t get motivated enough to take it seriously (i.e you’d rather do something like read about a topic that genuinely interests you) – your problem isn’t procrastination.

Procrastination is a symptom of your source issue.

Your true problem is an incongruence between your internal, non-conditioned goals and aspirations, and your current external reality.

There’s a difference between procrastinating on something you genuinely want to be doing, and falling back into unconscious“default” behavior mode, where you just succumb to endless internet browsing instead of increasing your knowledge or skill-set.

The internet is the best example of conscious empowerment or unconscious self-abuse.

Unlimited knowledge and distraction are simultaneously at your finger tips.

How strong is your conscious will?

If you take away only one thing from this first suggestion, let it be this: don’t beat yourself up for having previously been led to believe that you need to be doing un-fulfilling work in order to be deemed a “successful” human being.

The majority of dissatisfaction and un-fulfillment in our world is not a result of being lazy and unmotivated; it’s a subconscious response to the fact that you’re engaged in work that is not congruent with who you actually are as an individual.

Let this voice guide you out of the maze of illusions, and into domains of wondrous self-exploration, excitement, and growth!

4. Start With The Hardest Task First!

Note that the hardest task is typically also the most important one for most people.

You shouldn’t be tackling it just because it’s hard or the most important, but because upon completing said task – everything else will be cake in comparison!

Also, you’ll be creating and building motivational momentum as you experience yourself plowing through your most difficult, important, or tedious task(s) first.

This is especially effective when you get your biggest challenge out of the way first thing in the morning/day.

This is a neat little trick you can play with yourself, because it creates elevated mood, confidence, and self-momentum for the rest of your day.

Don’t knock it until you try it!

3. Time Box That Task!

It seems like this article is just destined for one boxing pun after another 😉

Time boxing is an incredibly useful technique that helps get your momentum going in a positive, constructive, and productive direction.

What you want to do is identify a task that you need/want to complete, and set a timer (I use Online-Stopwatch for everything, including writing articles) for say, 20-30 minutes.

The goal of time boxing is to consciously focus only on the work at hand, as intensely as possible for the allotted time.

This is a critical point of time boxing: the entire purpose of this activity is to focus ONLY on the task you wish to accomplish. While that timer is ticking, you do nothing BUT that one task.

No checking Facebook.

No texting.

Nothing but the task until that timer goes off.

Then when the time goes off, you give yourself complete and total permission to stop working.

Knowing your work time is finite not only increases your mood and focus, but it also prevents you from over-thinking about variables that don’t matter. Instead of aimlessly spinning your wheels while things continue to be left unfinished, time boxing allows you to neatly and quickly nip that issue in the bud.

The real beauty with time boxing however, is that after that 20-30 minutes you’ll be so “in the zone” – you’ll actually prefer to continue working!

Time boxing makes you more conscious of the fact that it’s not really fear, anxiety, or procrastination that’s stopping you; it’s simply a matter of overcoming the initial momentum of those emotions!

It’s like pushing a boulder up a hill. When it crests, you can let go and everything works itself out naturally as a consequence.

It suddenly becomes blatantly obvious that the true challenge is enduring the pre-cresting period – not the final goal itself.

Learning to “create the conditions” that allow for increasing personal momentum via action is incredibly self-empowering!

2. Make Time for (Guaranteed) Fun!

If you consistently schedule yourself a period of the day where you’re guaranteed uninterrupted time to enjoy your favorite activity/method of relaxation – you’re essentially re-wiring your risk/reward system.

This is the same concept as “re-conditioning yourself”.

What you’re actually doing is allowing yourself to create feelings of excitement regarding the fact that you’ll get to do something you enjoy later in the day, week, etc.

This can often make it easier to move through work that might not necessarily be exhilarating, but needs to be done.

“Batch” this suggestion with the time boxing tip above, and you’ll really be packing some punches ;).

You’re far more likely to maintain self-discipline and action if you’re rewarding yourself for doing so.

Don’t settle for society’s risk/reward system; build your own!

This is also incredibly empowering for anyone who has ever experimented with this approach. I use it on days where I feel a bit too “meh” to hit the gym, but I know my routine and progress depend on it.

So, what I do is imagine the lunch I’ll be able to make and enjoy after my workout. Sometimes I’ll just start making lunch, and that’s enough of a catalyst to make me want to hit the weights for 60-90 minutes.

Every single time I do this, I get to the gym and think “Man, the hardest part is always just getting started; once I’m here, everything’s awesome!”.

Which brings us to our final punch-tastic, procrastination-pummeling point…

1. Just Get Started NOW!

If you’ve been paying attention to the several points above, you’ll notice that “just getting started” is one of the most common denominators regarding procrastination.

This is because the hardest part is always going to be going from your “Zero Point” (point of complete rest) to your “Non-Zero Point” (anything that’s more than complete rest). Newton’s First Law of Motion graces us with its presence yet again.

It doesn’t matter how big or how small these steps are; what appears easy to one person is a nightmarish, bang-your-head-against-the-wall-fest for another. This is why it’s incredibly important not to confuse other people’s goals with your genuine goals.

Missing that first step will simply have you spending your time boxing shadows instead of procrastination.

Time boxing is a fantastic way to “just get started”. As we revealed above, it will often create the conditions necessary to allow you to just keep working (taking action). You’ll probably end up working longer than you would have if you didn’t implement that strategy.

If you can muster the courage to start saying “no” to the people, places, and activities that are incongruent with you, you’re making progress.

If you can then muster further courage to begin consciously replacing those things with people, places, and activities that are congruent with you who actually are as an individual, reality then opens up and becomes a treasure trove of opportunity.

The only condition is that you start becoming more conscious and deliberate with how you’re investing your time and energy – beginning right NOW.

Conclusion

Learning to gradually cope with, and eventually overcome, your own personal desire to procrastinate is a huge step forward in the right direction.

No longer will your life be a series of distractions, each baiting and pulling you in different directions.

No more will everything appear to be urgent and require your attention immediately.

You’ll learn to “have eyes” for what’s truly worth doing, and what’s a genuine waste of time.

Mastering your time and attention is the true secret to mastering your life across the domains of career, relationships, health/fitness, and hobbies. Until you begin doing so, you’re reality will be contingent on people and organizations who have already done so.

So lace up those gloves, move (don’t stick!), and refuse to stay down for the count! 🙂

Jason Demakis is a psychology & philosophy-based personal development writer, certified personal fitness trainer, and nutritional consultant. With a focus on prioritizing conscious decision making and behavior, Jason strives to motivate and inspire others to achieve their true potential and fulfillment. You can find more of Jason’s writing via his personal website, JasonDemakis.com.

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You don’t want an ordinary life. Working a job you hate, putting up with a passionless relationship and having to compromise your individuality is not for you. To paraphrase Theodore Roosevelt, you don’t want to be, ‘one of those cold and timid souls who live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.’

Instead, you want something extraordinary. You want excitement, inspiration and the chance to leave a positive mark on the world. You want to answer that immortal Steve Jobs quote – If today was my last day, would I want to do what I’m about to do?  – in the affirmative.

And that’s great. You should be congratulated on your ambitions. The world needs unreasonable people like you to keep it moving forwards.

But how do you get there? How do you go from your present reality which, let’s face it, might appear light-years away from your musings, to this life of your dreams?

Luckily for you today, you stumbled upon this article. I’m going to guide you through the ultimate 3 point plan to rising above your present conditions into the life of your dreams.  So it doesn’t matter whether it’s a boring job that saps you of your time and energy, poor health that robs you of the vitality needed to put your plans into action or a lack of connections and contacts that leaves you feeling clueless about where to start, there IS a way out of ANY negative circumstance.

The proceeding plan will show you how.

Step 1: Raise your Energy

The problem with the three negative circumstances listed above is that they rob you of energy. The dreams in your mind may be golden but when your daily environment is depressing, physically painful or seems helpless, a huge disconnect occurs.

This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to develop the ability to detach from your circumstances and focus on your energy. You can’t remain at the same level of thinking and feeling as your present environment. To advance, you always need to be one vibrational level above.  To do this, you must detach your mind (i.e. not focus on/let go of) from all the petty arguments at work, minor and major injustices against you, aches and pains in your body, all the things you lack and perceived obstacles standing in your way.

This, in itself, is a monumental mental discipline. However, once you have mastered it you’ll be free to, in the words of Master Yoda, ‘feel The Force’. What I mean by this is that you must find time to focus on the magnificence of your dream. Ask yourself this question.

 What’s going to feel so great about living the life I want to live?

Capture the energy of this answer and focus on it as much as possible. Do this consistently, and your drive will be stronger, the strength of your immune system will increase, your ability to convince other people of your ideas will improve and your life will begin to move forwards.

Step 2: Find Proof

Overcoming your negative circumstances and living the life you want is largely a game of belief. Everybody has the potential to do it, but many remain trapped because they can’t believe in a life better than their day to day environment.

To rise above your present circumstances you need to KNOW that it’s possible. In other words, you need proof. You need concrete examples of the fact that you can positively move your life forwards despite the negative circumstances you face. This is why I instruct anybody I coach to record ALL the positive results they achieve. If they get a new client, win an important match, gain a promotion or receive a compliment about their work or personality then they have to make note of it in a designated ‘results’ diary.

The power of this practise is compound. A month’s worth of positive results doesn’t do a lot but a years’ worth of achievements sends a message to the subconscious. ‘I CAN DO THIS,’ is what you start to believe.  After all, you’ve got the proof right there in your diary.

Then, it just becomes a case of repeating a formula. Raise your energy, record your results and, as your life begins to improve, you’ll be left with the belief that NO circumstance has the power to halt your progress. After all, if you can overcome one set of difficult circumstances then why not another?

Step 3: Create a Meaning

I want to give you an example. I want to show you that no negative circumstance, in of itself, has the power to prevent you from moving your life forwards. To do this, I need to find a person who endured the most harrowing of conditions yet still managed to emerge triumphant.

Enter Victor Frankl.

Perhaps you are aware of Frankl through his best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning, which stands as a testament to the ideal that man is not made by his conditions. However, if you’re not familiar with Frankl, then here’s his story.

Frankl was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp in 1942. A doctor and psychologist before the war, he found himself thrown into an environment where suffering and death were an everyday occurrence. A starvation diet combined with hard physical labour, unhygienic conditions, frequent exposure to sub-zero temperatures, sleep deprivation and beatings at the hands of guards comprised the daily environment Frankl lived in for 3 years. Every single member of his immediate family died, as did countless numbers of his fellow detainees. Faced with such conditions, Frankl estimated his own chance of survival as 1 in 20.

Despite these terrible circumstances, though, Frankl did survive. Not only that, he thrived. He went on to write a 9 million copy selling book, speak around the world and have his own approach to therapy – logo therapy – become a universally recognised form of treatment.

How was this possible?

According to Frankl the secret to overcoming any negative circumstance is to create a meaning for your life. There are 3 ways of doing this.

1. Through love. Forming loving relationships that make your life worthwhile.
2. Through work. Having a dream or project that inspires you more than your negative circumstances drain you.
3. Through struggle. Even if there is little in your daily environment to rejoice about you can still take pride in the way you react to your situation by maintaining your dignity and keeping a positive outlook.

Creating a meaning through one, or all, of these channels means that you wake up every day with a sense of purpose. In effect, you are on a mission. Irrespective of what you’re going through, you know what you are moving towards. With such a mentality and approach, when the opportunity to improve your day to day life finally emerges, you’ll seize it with both hands.

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The power of mind determines the mental strength of a person. Controlling one’s own mind is inevitable for achieving success in life. When the mind gets controlled then it is easy to concentrate in different task that are confronted in daily life.

There are different meditation practices that are endowed with the effective techniques of controlling the mind. These meditation practices make your mind calm and steady. Therefore the greatness in the mental stability can be seen, so that made meditation as a significant activity in day to day life. It is not recent that the meditation became as the part of life.

What is spiritual meditation?

The spiritual meditation is a practice of arousing the serpent power, a biological energy in man. This energy is utilized for the perfection of his very nature that is having a profound meaning in his life. The awakened man meditates in the energy centers along the spinal cord termed as chakras. These chakras are related with various psycho – physical qualities and meditating in these chakras are responsible for balancing the energy and enhancing the power of mind. This meditation is also known as the kundalini meditation, siddha meditation, chakra meditation, etc.

Kundalini – the spiritual power

Apart from other usual meditation practices, the spiritual meditation which involves the latent power known as ‘kundalini’ to manifest, which resides in the base of the spine in the sacral bone. The common meditation practices are limited in controlling the mind to a certain extent and do not go beyond that state of consciousness. There the higher power of the mind cannot be experienced through this.
The power of mind in the spiritual meditation is limitless. This will take the aspirant beyond the frontiers of imagination. The concentration of the mind can be increased immensely. It says that the highest level of concentration is attained when the mind itself withholds a single thought that would arise successively as a chain of a single thought. This is the state where the mental waves get reduced and your actions become clearer and effective.
The spiritual meditation makes one mystic, as that it forges him as a superhuman. But it is not an easy procedure.

Getting what you want in life

Most people look for the greater mental capabilities so that they could use maximum potentials in their actions (works). Controlling one’s own mind is very much needed in every life situations, whereas the concentration of the mind gets increased, so that it cannot be distracted very easily. This makes one to do perform his duty perfectly in short period of time and therefore to yield the maximum benefit from them.
When the mind lacks in reaching the state of concentration, then the mind fails to utilize its available potential. This makes one to stumble in his actions and indeed makes him less confident thus reducing his self-esteem. This will led him to accumulate the undesirable stresses and when fails to achieve his goals perhaps leads to depression eventually. So the potential is within oneself, it is his effort that makes to avail it.

Know your strengths

In spite of salvation as the ultimate goal of this spiritual meditation, one would acquire the enhanced mental ability; the power to achieve his goals; leading a life that is consistent with the nature. He will have the total control of himself so that the emotions do not take over him. Then he is a perfect yogi.

As Swami Vivekananda said,

“Meditation is the greatest means of controlling the rising of thought waves. By meditation you can make the mind subdue these waves and if you go on practicing it for days and months, and years, until it has become a habit, until it comes in spite of yourself, anger and hatred will be controlled and checked.”

It is that the thoughts that matter. These thoughts make what you are. These thoughts are the boosters of your actions. They are intended for doing the actions. The positive thoughts are responsible for positive actions and negative thoughts are responsible for negative actions, hence it has to be controlled. These thoughts can be controlled only by controlling one’s own mind, thus attaining enhanced mental stability. This is the type of mental strength one has to acquire that makes his mind powerful in confronting the life situations that would make him as a super hero.

Praveen Kumar is a Physicist and a kundalini meditation practitioner. He is a passionate writer and upholds the words of noble persons who had changed the world.
Praveen Kumar is the Editor in Chief at http://ift.tt/1zWGIzE, which offers inspiring, motivational and informative advises for developing mental strength.

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Do you ever secretly wish you were just a little more creative? Maybe inventing a life changing gadget is your unrealized childhood dream or perhaps you just want to hand in a more original essay for once. Whatever the case, the good news is that even if you don’t feel naturally creative; there are plenty of ways to get into the right frame of mind.

Taking a walk in the park or on a treadmill, for instance, could increase your creative output by 60%, and a quick nap can also be helpful, with one study showing that power naps boost activity in the right side of the brain, which is most associated with creativity.

But since these are fairly ordinary things that most of us do (or should be doing) on a regular basis, here are five slightly more unusual and generally frowned-upon things that actually have the potential to help you get into the creative zone.

1. Entitlement

Entitled people want what they want, when they want it, and they don’t care if they have to break a few rules to get it. Simply put, they’re not much fun to be around. But new research by psychological scientists from Cornell and Vanderbilt University shows that in small doses, a sense of entitlement can stimulate a person’s creative problem solving skills.

For the study, participants were made to feel either more or less entitled by writing out three reasons why they deserved more than others and should demand the best in life, or three reasons why they didn’t deserve more than others.

After this, they were asked to complete creative tasks like coming up with new uses for a paper clip and drawing an imaginary alien creature. Sure enough, the participants who felt more entitled at the time produced more interesting and novel ideas.

The takeaway is that when people feel entitled, they think and act differently than others, which means they are better able to think outside the box. Even if you don’t want to become an entitled jerk for the sake of creativity, it’s an easy enough experiment to recreate when it’s time to think innovatively.

2. Mess

Albert Einstein once posed the question that if a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then is an empty desk a sign?

It certainly seems he was onto something, as research led by psychological scientist Kathleen Vohs from the University of Minnesota shows that while tidy environments have the benefit of promoting good behavior like healthy eating and generosity, messy ones encourage new ideas and creativity.

In one experiment, participants were placed in either a tidy or messy environment and asked to come up with new uses for ping pong balls. Although they all came up with the same number of ideas, impartial judges rated the ones generated by participants in the messy room as more interesting and creative. So the next time you need to think creatively, do yourself a favor and don’t tidy up.

3. Boredom

No one likes to be bored, and most of us will do anything to avoid it. But by filling our every waking moment with activities designed to stave off boredom, we might actually be missing out on some of our most innovative ideas.

In one study led by Dr Sandi Mann, a professor of psychology at the University of Lancashire, participants were asked to display their creativity by coming up with new uses for polystyrene cups, but first, some of them were asked to complete the unquestionably boring task of copying down numbers from a telephone directory.

As you may have guessed, the ones who were already bored when they started the creative task came up with more original ideas. In another experiment the researchers asked an additional group of people to merely read the numbers, and this group turned out to be even more creative than the ones who had been asked to write the numbers out.

So what’s the takeaway? Don’t be afraid of boredom, but to get the most out of it, choose a more passive boring activity that doesn’t require too much mental energy and still allows for some daydreaming in-between.

4. Fatigue

Although being creative is probably the last thing on your mind after a long day, research shows that we’re most creative when we’re tired, whether it’s down to morning grogginess or evening fatigue.

In one study, Mareike Wieth, an associate professor of psychology at Albion University, had two groups of students, night owls and early birds, come in for a series of tests either at 8:30am, when night owls would still be feeling groggy, or at 4pm, when morning people would be starting to feel a dip in their energy levels.

When it came to analytical problems, the time of day had no noticeable impact, but for the problems that required some creativity to solve, the participants all did better at the time of day during which they were fatigued.

Why? Apparently, when you’re tired, your brain doesn’t filter out distractions as efficiently and connections between ideas or concepts are more easily forgotten. Although this may sound like a bad thing, creativity is all about making new connections and being open to new ways of thinking, so fatigue is actually the perfect tool for creative thinking.

5. Noise

When we want to get work done we usually seek out a quiet place without many distractions, but although silence is great for sharpening our focus for detail-oriented tasks, when it comes to creativity, a bit of noise is actually a positive thing.

One study by researchers from the University of Illinois had four groups of people complete a series of tests designed to measure creativity while being exposed to various levels of ambient noise; either 50 decibels, 70 decibels, 85 decibels or total silence. Participants who had completed the tests with a moderate level of background noise (70 decibels) did far better than those in any of the other groups.

So, just like fatigue, the right amount of noise creates some distraction, which helps you to move past your normal thought patterns and make new connections. So while you don’t want to be blaring music during a brainstorming session, a moderate level of background noise, like the hum of a busy coffee shop, could be just what you need.

Marianne Stenger is a writer with Open Colleges. She covers career development, workplace productivity and self-improvement. You can connect with her on Twitter and Google+, or find her latest articles here. 

 

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Decisions are not a democratic thing.

Trash the complicated charts with spider web diagrams.

You’ll just fry your brain.

The small stuff is easy, but those Goliath-sized choices…

They can bring a torrent of sweat and Richter-size nervousness.

As the complexity oozes in.

The biggest mistake you can make as a business owner

As a business owner, I would often put the “pro” in procrastination.

Not wise. Because he who hesitates is lost in this nanosecond age of global competition.

Napoleon Hill nailed it: “Indecision is the seedling of fear.”

While I was turning blue, life decided for me.

Because, as Will Rogers wryly noted, “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” 

After all, time ticks on.  Sooner or later, I got an avalanche of “mañana”— and frenzied cope.  I had to drop everything and douse this fire immediately!  They don’t make aspirin big enough to zap that headache.

Is there a way to smother those flames of maybe?

How do you cut down on all that sweating and shaking?

Be like a Boy Scout

Be prepared!

Sure, emergencies will flare up out of nowhere: a water pipe explodes on the jobsite. A major client suddenly cancels their order.

And these urgencies, like a midnight tornado, add turbulence as they pull your decision making into the immediacy of the moment and away from expansion—where it needs to be. You’re reactive instead of proactive.

Avoid that by following your scout manual — aka the company policy you wrote ahead of time to contain the surprises of life.

So when they erupt, you can either scramble for a time-and-a-half plumber or calmly move into action.

And all the while, focus your decision-making on the big picture.

Don’t count the carnage

Injuries will heal, crashes can be reversed. Regret is leprosy to business survival; its scars spread to all involved.

And it’s infinitely more painful than simply doing something — anything.

The problem is not the wreckage we cause, but rather our failure to take responsibility for that strewn debris.

So, instead of fretting over the rubble, take a tip from Robert Kiyosaki: “Don’t waste a good mistake…learn from it.”

That holds true for you and your staff. Those who will decide ultimately get more respect than the wafflers. And as long as you hit more home runs than flies, you’re fine. But any decision beats no decision.

Keep the epidemic at bay

If you don’t delegate any company decisions, your business will soon be infected with the one-man-stand disease.

The symptoms are easy to spot: a snail’s pace of activity and a frantic, frustrated staff. Micromanagement is the father of uncertainty and fear.

And if left unchecked, the disease spreads procrastination and confusion as decisions wind up in the pending basket. Choices are never made in turmoil.

As this virus spreads, it cripples your workforce as your business contracts, just like that noose you tighten around the competency and stability of your staff. Thus sprouts the seeds of insurrection.

What’s the vaccine? Trust in the team.

You hired them. You trained them. Now let them make their own decisions. Any uncertainties they have are cured by simply having them follow your written policy.

Shed that flab

Like it or not, indecisions pile up like a ton of love handles. Time to go on a diet.

Otherwise, they will hang around like that third helping of pumpkin pie.

Ugh!

So make a list of those indecisions; complete what you can. Every decision that you finally make will feel like you’ve shed a pound.

You’re looking better already.

——-

Paul Economen fuses his journalism and sales experience to create a professional customer case study that separates your business from the crowd and makes your credibility glow. There’s more information here: http://www.TheWriterNamedPaul.com

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