10 Reasons Why People Who Learn Music Are More Likely To Be Successful

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I have always been a proponent for music education, and thus am happy to see that more and more people are learning an instrument these days.

I myself became a drummer at around the age of 11, and have played ever since. I am no savant, but I can play just about anything (except perhaps the closing solo in the movie Whiplash).

As a result, I have always maintained that learning how to play an instrument is beneficial. I did not have any proof, I just had first hand experiences that proved that to be the case. Nowadays however, there is a mountain of evidence suggesting that music education is not only good for you, but nearly essential if you want to be successful in life.

What is it about musicians that gives them an edge over others? Read on.

1. They Are More Creative

Recent research has shown that many successful politicians, businessmen, and more were trained at a young age to be a musician of some kind. Whether it be of a piano, clarinet, or saxophone, it didn’t really matter.

What does matter is that these people credit their music education with making them more creative. Indeed, as Paul Allen (co-founder of Microsoft) once stated, music allows you to “look beyond what currently exists and express yourself in a new way” (NYT).

As a drummer, I can attest to that. So much of music is about creating something different, and breaking mental barriers. All of which necessarily bleeds into other aspects of your life.

2. Their Brains Develop Differently

As many studies have shown, playing an instrument tends to have a multitude of beneficial effects on the brain, many of which are especially visible in children.

Indeed, those who start from an early age (around 9 to 11) have “significantly more grey matter volume” within their heads (Parenting Science). While this doesn’t necessarily mean that musicians are smarter, it does demonstrate that their brains are making unique and interesting connections and associations that those who do not play instruments might lack.

3. They Connect With Others Better

Music is often thought of as a way to connect different cultures, ideas, and perspectives. Even when you are unfamiliar with a location, you can always use your ability to play music to get to know those around you, and establish connections that may have been impossible to create otherwise.

This can be a crucial skill to have in any number of professions, especially those that require you to immerse yourself in a location that you are unfamiliar with.

4. They Are Better At Math

I am not sure this one applies to me, but it has long been known that there is some kind of connection between math and music.

This likely has to do with the fact that both deal with analyzing puzzles and finding patterns in order to find solutions. If you can get a sense of the ebb and flow of music and musical language, mathematical concepts should begin to make more sense. Being better at math is beneficial for a number of reasons, if only because so many new jobs in this day and age rely on that skill.

5. They Have A Better Sense Of Rhythm

As a drummer, I know how to keep time in a song and play to the beat. In life, I use those same skills to maintain some order in my schedule.

Additionally, when you are a musician, it is easier to get into the groove of things and accomplish repetitive tasks at a consistent rate. (It also helps with stuff like dancing!)

Thus, learning how to maintain a steady pace not only makes for a good musician, but a more productive and effective worker as well.

6. They Are Obsessive

Any musician, whether they be a novice or an expert, has to be just a little obsessive to cultivate their craft. Roger McNamee, an early investor in Facebook, stated that “musicians and top professionals share ‘the almost desperate need to dive deep’” (NYT).

To become proficient at playing music requires a lot of time and dedication. If you are willing to put effort into that, you will likely tackle other things with that same gusto.

7. They Are More Likely To Have A Higher IQ

This is especially true if they started playing music at a young age, like say around 6 years old. Indeed, one study found that kids who took up an instrument around this age showed a greater increase in their IQ compared to those who did not (Science Net Links).

Suffice it to say, having more intelligence to work with than your peers is often crucial in gaining the upper hand.

8. They Process Speech More Efficiently

Becoming successful requires that you be a good listener, and musicians are groomed to acquire that skill early on in their development.

Indeed, research has shown that learning how to play music has a beneficial effect on the areas of your brain that process sounds — an effect that lasts even into old age (Washington Post).

Listening is an important skill to have, as the ability to make sense of speech and complicated strings of words and sentences is crucial to success.

9. They Are Conditioned To Work Hard For Results

While it isn’t always true that those who work hardest in life are the most successful, such is usually the case in regard to musicians.

Indeed, one expert stated that an amazing thing about learning music is that “if you work hard enough, it does get better” (NYT).

Music thus conditions you to believe that working harder gets results, and while that may not always be true in everything, it does lead to you pushing yourself harder in order to see measurable improvements in all aspects of your life.

10. They Have More Self-Control

While you might think of musicians as loose cannons (certain rock stars come to mind), those cases aren’t typical.

Indeed, learning how to play an instrument and read music is an immensely difficult task when you first start out, and requires a lot of mental focus. And, once you are skilled at playing music, it takes both talent and self-control to keep rhythm, to maintain a beat, and to otherwise stay on the musical rails, so to speak.

Translate that ability to remain dedicated and focused on the task at hand to the real world, and it is easy to see why so many musicians end up being successful in other fields.

Do you play an instrument? Has it effected your life in a beneficial way? Comment below!

Featured photo credit: Snare Drum/Vladimir Morozov via flickr.com

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How To Instantly Connect With Anyone

How To Instantly Connect With Anyone, Anywhere

how to connect

Is meeting new people your idea of hell?

Would you rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than introduce yourself to a stranger?

And what about that person you already know but just can’t relate to no matter how hard you try?

You blurt out something dumb and their face scrunches up.

Everything goes to slo-mo.

You swear silently, chirp something inane, and then realize your tongue has become a thousand pounds of dusty cement.

You’re certain the other person must feel like a cornered animal looking to escape.

So instead of dreading your next encounter, use the following tips to quickly connect with anyone.

First prepare yourself.

 Right at the beginning, it’s all about you.

 Say what?!

Since getting flustered usually means you’re self-conscious, how is focusing more on yourself supposed to help?

Here’s how. Quickly take the following steps to get yourself calm, open, and ready for rapport:

  • Feel your feet on the ground.
  • Do a quick internal scan of your body. Note any tense spots, and inwardly smile into them.
  • Check your shoulders. If they’re up around your ears, melt them down your back.
  • Relax your arms at your side, hands open.
  • Make eye contact and smile.
  • Don’t let it throw you off if they don’t smile back, especially if you have a history of being disconnected with them.
  • Take a soft slow deep breath. Briefly pause. Softly exhale.

With practice, you’ll get so skilled at this self-check that you’ll do it instantly.

You can also do this whenever tensions are running high to get yourself right back to calm, curious mode.

Then be like a camera; focus on them.

Forget about yourself. Bring your full attention to them.

Read their body language.

Check their expression, posture, and shoulders. Take note of the top three areas that give you solid clues about how they’re feeling:

  • Is their face pinched or soft?
  • Are they standing with arms down and open, or crossed over their chest?
  • Are their shoulders hunched forward, or down and relaxed?

If you’d like help learning how to read other people, no problem!

Be curious. 

Ask questions!

You’ve got an opportunity to learn about another person and enrich your life.

Treasure it.

Simply enjoy how they see the world.

You don’t have to agree or change your dearly held beliefs. But consider that you just might:

  • Learn the answer to something that’s been puzzling you.
  • Discover the perfect accountability buddy.
  • Find a fantastic teammate.

Listen to find common ground.

Note the language they use.

What does their vocabulary say about their viewpoints?

Do you use similar language? If so, you might have more in common than you realized.

But if they say something that provokes a reaction in you, simply note it. No need to go all gangsta on them. This isn’t about you, remember?

Say, “Tell me more.”

It’s a phrase that draws people out faster than free hot fudge at an ice cream sundae convention.

Tell me more is especially useful if you’re talking with someone who’s been barking short answers despite your best efforts to put them at ease.

Corral your wandering attention.

You know what happens.

The other person’s talking, but you’re thinking about that weird phone call you got earlier. Can you believe what that guy said?

You realize you’ve completely missed the last few bits of conversation.

Just quickly bring your focus back to the other person. Don’t beat up on yourself. It happens to everyone.

You could say, “Sorry. My attention wandered for a minute. Mind saying that again?”

Far from offending anyone, you’ll actually reassure them that you’re so present that you know when you’re not, and you aren’t just pretending to listen.

Watch how the other person responds.

For example, if at first their entire being screams, “I’m tense and uncomfortable!” – awesome! Rise to the challenge. See if you can get them to open up and relax.

Do they drop their shoulders?

Are they smiling at least a little more?

Do they lean toward or move closer to you and make more consistent eye contact?

Are they answering your questions with enthusiasm and interest?

Are you ready to connect?

You’ve learned how to develop a calm, open presence that will direct the tone of your encounters. Just as physicists tell us how a plucked A string on an instrument will cause the A string of nearby instruments to vibrate, so too will others vibrate with your energy.

You’ll be centered and self-aware, which means you won’t be at the mercy of the emotional state of the other person.

Your ability to build rapport with a wide range of people will set you apart from the crowd.

But fair warning!

People will seek you out.

Your influence will grow.

You’ll get asked to help mediate, resolve conflict, and show how you inspire others.

Just be sure you’re ready for all that attention.

——-

Lynn Hauka teaches leaders to stop working their fingers to the bone yet still get great results, then she celebrates with them as they reclaim their personal life. If you’re ready to get your work and life back in balance, start by getting your free copy of 5 Calendar Hacks To Be More Productive Yet Leave Work On Time.

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Clearing the Confusion About The Law of Attraction

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the law of traction

In order to attract something , be it money, a partner or even an object like a fancy car we have read that we must use the law of attraction in order to receive it. While I do believe there is a lot of truth in the term “law of attraction”, why is that even when want something with all our heart, visualize it every day, take action and yet most of the time never wind up getting it?

Does it work or does it not? There is one key element in understanding the law of attraction that a lot of people seem to miss. Even after reading a bestselling book like “The Secret” of which the primary emphasis is the law of attraction, it still can leave a reader confused that if I want something deeply, can I attract it into my life?

Based on my understanding, the statement that we attract what we deeply desire in our lives is not quite correct as in that case everyone would have what they want. It’s not “what we want” but “what we are” that decides what we will attract in our lives.

We have to first internalize what it is we desire if we want to be in the space of attracting that particular thing.

A few questions might help in elaborating the concept.
We want to attract a spouse – Do we behave like the spouse that we may want to attract?

We want to attract wealth – Do we value our time like money, handle challenges correctly, think big & have the kind of vision we should?

We want a loving family – Are we loving with your family at all times or is it conditional based on how they behave or depending upon how our moods are?

Putting it simple rather than thinking ‘I want ‘ , it would make a lot more sense to ask the question “ “Am I behaving in a manner consistent with that which I want to attract “

If we are merely thinking in terms of the Law of attraction as what we want, we are in fact distancing ourselves from it as it is something that we do not have within us but if the same quality of what we want is built within us, we are much closer to attracting it.

It’s a lot like receiving the same energy that we are giving out all the time in our feelings, thoughts & actions with people.

When we are thinking, acting & feeling like what we want to attract in our life is when we are most likely to attract what we want as only in that moment we are congruent with what we want & we are more likely to attract the ideas, people & circumstances that we desire.

Once we have this awareness, we become more aware about how we are conducting ourselves & whether that behavior is taking us closer or away from our desired object.

Lastly I’d like to suggest that do not worry about whether you are going to get it or not but as long as you are working towards attracting something positive that & as long as you are inculcating that quality, it is only going to help you.

——-

What motivated me to blog ?

Facing day to day challenges, it started to intrigue me how people have learned to be successful despite several odds stacked against them. I wanted to further understand the power of our minds as to how it affects the rest of our life.

I thought the best way to learn would be to share what I know & what I ready which is when I found “ Pick the brain” as a very suitable platform to share my thoughts which I hope will help others. Check more of my thoughts at my blog!

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7 Popular Productivity Myths Busted

7 Popular Productivity Myths Busted

how to get things done

Productivity is a central issue in the life of every worker. As we strive to get more things done in shorter time periods, many of us may fall victim to some of the common productivity myths, many of which can actually negatively impact our work. To put these misconceptions to rest, we’ve compiled a list of 7 of the most common myths to help you make sure you’re really getting the most out of your day.

  1. 8 hours of sleep is a must

Having at least 8 hours of solid sleep is supposed to make our bodies prepared for the daily rush. The truth is, the amount of sleep required for optimal functioning depends on individual needs – and these change as well!

Depending on the season, our mood or the previous day, we might need more or less sleep to be productive the next day. The 8-hour sleep rule is simply a myth. Sleep is something that cannot be bent to the uniform rules of productivity.

  1. The power of multitasking

Until recently, multitasking was considered a top productivity hack. However, recent research reveals that multitasking actually slows us down, increasing our potential for error. But that’s not all. Multitasking was also found to generate much more stress in workers.

This study demonstrated that people who tend to multitask were less likely to retain information, experienced attention problems and found it difficult to switch from task to task in comparison to people who preferred to focus on one task at a time.

  1. We’re only productive in offices

In today’s professional culture, this is simply not true. Lots of studies have shown how working from home or public spaces, such as cafes, increases productivity. Essentially it’s a matter of preferences – while some love to work outside the office, others find it difficult to focus when surrounded by people who aren’t working.

  1. Disconnect and you’ll become more productive

Some people say that the web is bad for our productivity because it floods our minds with useless information. In fact, ever since the internet has become a significant part of our lives, we began to consciously choose the knowledge we want to remember.

This is backed up by research. In 2011, Science magazine published a study which demonstrated that today, some people simply prefer to research information instead of memorizing it.

  1. A clean workspace does wonders for productivity

A clean and organized space is something people think powers productivity. It all comes down to individual preferences again. This study showed that lack of order might help some workers to be more efficient and creative, aiding in their decision-making process. In short, organization is relative and depends on individual needs, rather than preconceived standards of order.

  1. Day-dreaming harms productivity

We all like to stay busy and seldom have time to spare for boredom or day-dreaming. In fact, all of these are essential to our mental health and help us organize the information acquired during the day. They recharge our brains and power our productivity. Have a look at this study to see that these moments of idleness can actually help us focus.

  1. More time = more work done

This is a classic productivity myth that impacts the international job market. If you believe that by working longer hours, you’ll get more things done, think twice – it has actually been proven to lower productivity, lead to errors and generate stress.

A breakthrough study examining the issue was published by The Economist in 2013. The magazine compiled data from 1990 until 2012 in OECD countries, showing once and for all that long working hours does not equate to higher productivity.

With these popular productivity myths busted, you’ll be able to avoid losing time applying them at your work and focus on what really matters – your individual preferences.

Nicole Davies works at ShortCourseFinder, a website providing a simple way to find and sign up for online short courses from Australia’s top providers. Main areas of her interest are the social media and the use of new technologies in everyday life.

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7 Things Rich, Successful People Do Before Bed that You Can Do

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Much has been said about the benefits of being an early riser. Benjamin Franklin—the original guru of productivity, said, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

However, not much is said about the last thing you do before bed. Yet, the very last thing you do before bed is vital because it determines how well and how much you sleep, which in turn determines your energy level the following day when you wake up.

Rich people understand the importance of a good night’s sleep. They have well established sleep rituals that signal to their brains that it’s time to switch everything off and get some much needed night’s rest. Here’s what the most successful and rich people do before bed you should probably emulate.

1.   They stretch and exercise lightly.

Joel Gascoigne, the CEO of Buffer, squeezes in a 20-minute walk every evening before he retires to bed. He says the light walk helps him totally disengage from his work and slowly work himself into a “state of tiredness.” He explains in a blog post, “This is a wind down period, and it allows me to evaluate the day’s work, think about the greater challenges, gradually stop thinking about work…”

If you are a busy person who’s always on the go, tiredness, fatigue and even leg cramps can be painful enough to make it hard for you to sleep. Joel’s late night walk routine could be a good way to get rid of those cramps, blowing off some steam and unwind after a stressful day.

Science has actually shown that fresh air and light exercise like brisk walking, stretching and gentle yoga postures for several minutes just before getting into bed helps induce sleep. However, avoid vigorous exercise at night as it can have the opposite effect and cause insomnia.

2.   They take a warm bath

Many of us take a warm shower before bed (probably a couple of hours leeway at least). But, some of the most successful people take a warm bath instead. Joyce Walsleben, PhD, associate professor at New York University School of Medicine is one such person. She says you should soak in a tub for 20 or 30 minutes two hours before bed.

“If you raise your temperature a degree or two with a bath, the steeper drop at bedtime is more likely to put you in a deep sleep,” Walsleben says. A shower is less effective and tends to wake you up, but it can work, as well.

This nighttime ritual of taking a warm bath before bed has also worked well for internationally acclaimed fashion designer and film director Tom Ford. Tom shared his day’s schedule with Harper Bazaar and said:

“I walk the dogs around Grosvenor Square and then head up to bed. Believe it or not, I usually take another hot bath and wash my face. Then we watch a bit of television (usually things we have recorded) or read and go to sleep.”

3.   They read a book

Tom Ford is not the only one who reads before bed. Bill Gates is an avid reader. He says he reads for about an hour each night before bed and has seen the benefits of doing so.

“I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot,” Gates is quoted saying. Interestingly, the Microsoft billionaire reads everything from current events to business and politics.

Apart from the obvious benefits of gaining new knowledge, reading each night helps to reduce stress and improve memory. In fact, a study from the University of Essex found that reading for as little as six minutes a day can reduce stress levels by up to 68%!

4.   They meditate

Ray Dalio, the billionaire founder of the investment firm Bridgewater Associates, famously said, “Meditation more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I’ve had.”

Oprah Winfrey, an outspoken advocate of Transcendental Meditation, agrees that meditation helps and says she unwinds at the end of a stressful day with a focused meditation session.

Padmasree Warrior, the chief technology and strategy officer of Cisco Systems, also meditates every night.” She told the New York Times in 2012 that taking time to meditate and unplug keeps her calm and helps her to manage the pressure of her work.

Those who take a few minutes every night to reflect on the good things that happened to them that day sleep better. That flow of positivity and grateful attitude induces feelings of calm that allow for a restful sleep.

5.   They plan the next day

Many highly successful and rich people have a penchant for picturing tomorrow’s success today—and planning for it. They write down the most important things they need to tackle first as a way to get those ideas out of their head. Often this planning for tomorrow happens right before bed.

Kenneth Chenault, CEO of American Express, for example, ends his day by writing down three things he wants to accomplish the next day right before retiring for the night. He says that in doing so he is able to wake up the next day and get straight to work on his most important tasks.

You might want to borrow a leaf from this high achiever and plan the next day before bed. This is especially true if you often find yourself running through the next day’s to-do list while you are trying to fall asleep.

6.   They create a cozy sleep environment.

Stephen King, one of the richest and most successful authors alive, says his nightly routines include washing his hands and making sure all the pillows face a certain way. The horror writer says it’s not any different than a bedtime routine. He explains:

“I brush my teeth, I wash my hands. Why would anybody wash their hands before they go to bed? I don’t know. And the pillows are supposed to be pointed a certain way. The open side of the pillowcase is supposed to be pointed in toward the other side of the bed. I don’t know why.”

Making your bedroom as comfortable as possible for you is a great way to ensure you sleep soundly and wake up the next morning well rested and ready to face the day. The rich and famous go to great lengths to ensure the sleep area is as cozy as possible so as to induce and maintain sleep.

7.   They unplug

Arianna Huffington, founder of the Huffington Post, is a staunch evangelist for sleep and “unplugging.” She says every night before bed she puts her phone in another room so she is not distracted by it. Like Tom Ford and Bill Gates, Arianna says she reads before bed the old-fashioned way, “real book.” Facebook’s chief operating officer (COO), Sheryl Sandberg, also says she turns her phone off at night so that she “won’t get woken up.”

Dr Charles Czeisler, professor of sleep medicine at Harvard University, agrees that “unplugging” is a very good habit before bed. He explains that the bright lights produced by cell phone screens “trick” the body into thinking it’s still daytime, prevent certain body chemicals from being released and disrupt the bodies’ natural sleep rhythms. This disruption causes people to have a much harder time going to sleep.

It’s a good idea to ban iPads, Tablets, laptops and any other electronics from the bedroom before bed so that you set yourself up to have a good night’s sleep, and an even more productive day tomorrow.

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5 Important Elements Of Success People Seldom Mention

success

You might be expecting me to write something basic about patience, integrity, humility, honesty, discipline, and other qualities that might make up a successful person. If you’re looking for an article like that, you’ll find them everywhere. This article is different. It’s not meant to talk about one word or one quality of successful people in a generic sense and re-define what those things mean for you. This articles purpose is to help you re-define what your personal success is and how you define yourself.

There are elements of success people seldom mention, and sometimes those things have nothing to do with the present or the individual. Below, feel free to read about those five elements.

1. Your job isn’t your success.

You are your success, and what you’re successful in will vary. It doesn’t have to be your job. It could be your family, it could be your volunteer work, or your community service.  Success is multi-faceted.  In addition, your job may not be a direct reflection of you, your greatest strengths, or the best use of your time. Your job might not enable you to contribute to the world in a way you would like, yet so many people define themselves by their jobs, or their next big promotion. Success is a lifestyle and an attitude.

2. Failure is going to happen to you. Just because you fail at something, doesn’t mean you are a failure.

I’ve only failed one class in my life: geometry. I did my best, and I tried hard, enrolling in tutoring and after school classes to help boost my grade. Failing, I thought, would be unacceptable and earth-shattering. I thought I’d be too embarrassed to ever be able to discuss it, l and yet here I am. Do you know what I learned? I learned it wasn’t the end of the world. I learned what I wasn’t good at. I learned where I was weak and I used those insights to make myself stronger and better educated about myself.

Failure is nothing more than useful feedback. You don’t have to be the best at everything to be the best at something. Sometimes we learn from the things we do poorly or the things we fail to do moreso than the things we excel in.

3. People will always see your successes. They may never know about your sacrifices.

There will always be people who think you had it easy. There were always be people who identify with you and think you had it rough. They are both wrong, and the answer is usually somewhere in the middle and defined by the individual. The truth of the matter is, no one else is going to really know how much you had to give up or overcome to get to where you are. It’s easy to think being successful is easy when the version of you people are seeing is the person who made it through the storm.

When push comes to shove, their opinions don’t matter. What matters is what you think and feel about yourself. When you feel good about yourself and your own unique purpose in life, everything falls into place.

4. There are people who aren’t going to think you’re successful, no matter what you think of yourself or how you feel.

Ignore people like this. They are usually miserable themselves. There will always be people who like to gossip or speak poorly of someone else trying to get by and follow their dreams. People will tell you your goals are stupid, your dreams are unrealistic, and the money won’t follow. Sometimes they are right, and sometimes they are wrong. The only thing that matters is that you don’t base your final choices off of them.

5. Sometimes it’s about who you know.

In some respects, certain types of success have to do more with who you know as opposed to how hard you work, hustle, or study. Many people will tell you so long as you work hard, anything is possible, and while anything being possible is true, it isn’t always probable. Sometimes people have a better time, or easier time because they have good mentors or they knew the right people or joined the right clubs or had the right connections. Sometimes success is a collaborative effort, not just something we become on our own.

Featured photo credit: The Auditorium at the Educational Center of Hallmark Institute of Photography, located at 27 Industrial Blvd, Turners Falls, Massachusetts/Tfman13 via commons.wikimedia.org

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Your Business Will Surely Improve If You Have These 10 Beliefs

The Color of Money

Business success depends on a number of factors. Some entrepreneurs make progress based on technical innovations. Many others build companies by offering a service or product that is clearly superior to everything else on the market. No matter what industry you are in, your business beliefs make a tremendous impact. Our beliefs shape our decisions about our business, especially when we are under pressure. If you have the following 10 beliefs, your business is guaranteed to improve.

1. You choose your own goals.

The determination to choose your own business goals makes a significant impact. Many in the corporate world wait passively for their goals to be assigned by senior management. If your investors and bankers require you to meet certain goals, there’s no need to limit yourself to those goals. Set at least one business goal based on your interests and desires.

What goals should you consider? Many people choose to focus on career goals (e.g. gain a promotion, land a new job). However, Michael Hyatt—creator of the 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever goal setting program—recommends a blend of goals to cover business (e.g. increase revenue), health (e.g. run a marathon), personal development (e.g. read 30 books) and relationships (e.g. take a “bucket list” trip to Europe with your spouse).

2. You build positive relationships and partners.

Running a business requires supportive relationships. When you’re first starting out, take the time to build good relationships with your customers. Before long, you will find out that customers who like you are much more likely to bring new business to you. At this point, you may be wondering how exactly to create a positive business relationship. While every relationship is different, most positive relationships share the following qualities:

  • You learn how to detect negative cues: Noticing the lack of an activity can be an early warning sign that the relationship is in trouble (e.g. your business partner takes three days to return your calls instead of two).
  • You practice the art of active listening: Listening effectively is a complex skill but you can become better by using active listening techniques.
  • You look for ways to help others reach their business goals: introduce your business associates to new people, share books, share articles: there are many ways you can help people reach their business goals.

3. You have a humble attitude to learn about business.

Many writers stress the importance of confidence in business. Yet, over confidence has caused many companies to fail in recent years. When you have a humble approach to business, you stay open to new ideas and different solutions. When you are humble, you tend to ask more questions about business. You ask for business book recommendations, you realize that your plans will have to change with new information and you understand that staying curious is a key to success.

4. You take thoughtful risks.

How do you feel about risk in the business world? Some entrepreneurs feel the urge to vet everything on the success or failure of a single transaction. If that level of risk unsettles you, then you are in good company. Some of the most successful people in business put serious thought into managing risk.

When Richard Branson, the noted British entrepreneur and billionaire, launched his airline in the 1980s, he thought through risk and created the following creative deal:

Once I had negotiated the price for a second hand 747 from Boeing, I said to them that if Virgin Atlantic wasn’t successful, then I wanted to be able to hand the plane back at the end of the first year—therefore protecting the downside. (Best Advice: Protect the Downside by Richard Branson)

Here are two other ways you can increase your ability to take risks:

  • Apply the art of rejection therapy: the risk of rejection keeps many people from reaching business success. Jia Jiang went through 100 days of rejection—his experience shows how you can grow by overcoming the risk of rejection.
  • Practice risk management in your life to keep your health, finances and career in good condition. It is easier to take risks in business if you are keeping managing your health!

5. You are grateful to customers, suppliers, and others who support your business.

From time to time, it pays to sit back and be grateful for suppliers and customers. In fact, a gratitude habit is one of the best ways to maintain your mental health. We all know that the business world is stressful so this belief keeps you going through difficult times.

6. You strive for growth in every experience.

Business brings disappointment and frustration. A key employee resigns just when you need them. Several customers abandon you. Your belief in these times of difficulty will keep you going. Researcher Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, has demonstrated that a growth mindset leads to success.

7. You believe in yourself and your business.

Critics are everywhere. As Theodore Roosevelt pointed out in his famous “Man In The Arena” speech, it is not the critic who counts. When you put in the time and effort to build your company’s products and services, take pride in what you have achieved! When you move forward with confidence in your business, you will make more sales than the person who is consumed with doubt and worry.

8. You are proactive in managing your calendar.

What do you believe about your time? It’s an easy to question to answer. Think about how you used the first two hours of the day yesterday. Did you open email and start reacting to messages? That’s an easy way to become reactive and lose control of your day. Even worse, constant email checking trains your mind to be reactive to other people, rather than act on your own goals.

When you adopt a proactive attitude to your calendar, your business will start to take off. That’s why many of the most successful people in business have morning routines—they get up early for exercise, reading and meditation. Schedule at least one hour a day to work on your most important projects—creating a new product or reviewing your progress on your annual goals.

9. You have a healthy attitude about conflict.

In a business class I took, the instructor once said “never forget that buyers and vendors have different objectives.” That’s true! Competing objectives is one of the sources of conflict. You may also encounter sharply different approaches to work. When you have realistic beliefs about conflict, you can move forward to develop solutions. For the best results, look for ways to collaborate to solve a problem.

  • Do you have employees or contractors to manage? Experts estimate that managers spend 30% of their time working on conflict. If you spend anything like that amount of time on conflict, then it pays to become more effective.
  • To reduce legal expenses, consider using alternate dispute resolution (ADR) in contracts with suppliers and partners.

10. You understand the importance of ownership.

Ownership is one of the most important beliefs in business. In a financial context, maintaining ownership of your company keeps you in charge. Broadly speaking, working with an owner’s mind means that you own your choices. When you take responsibility, you can fully celebrate your victories!

Featured photo credit: The Colour of Money/ruben alexander via flickr.com

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The Strongest People Are Not Those Who Show Strength In Front Of Us

The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about

The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about.

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Locus of Control: An Introspective Glimpse Into Your Own Psyche

internalvsexternal

How does your locus of control affect the things that make you happy and the love in your life? Is it internal or external?

Whether or not you have a background or even an interest in psychology, there is an idea in the realm of personal psychology that directly connects with everyone. It’s a concept that brings up the ideology of the extent to which people believe that they can control events affecting them. This idea is locus of control.

So that being said, what really is locus of control and how is applicable? How is it measurable?

Locus of control is the idea that people have direct power over events in their lives and how these events impact, motivate, or empower them on a multitude of levels. There is a measurable means of pinpointing where a person’s locus of control falls in the grand scheme of it all. This idea is internal versus external locus of control.

Julian B. Rotter was a psychologist who pioneered the term locus of control. In a groundbreaking writing titled Generalized Expectancies for Internal Versus External Control of Reinforcement, Rotter states the following about external vs. internal influences:

“The role of reinforcement, reward, or gratification is universally recognized by students of human nature as a crucial one in the acquisition and performance of skills and knowledge…When a reinforcement is perceived by the subject as following some action of his own but not being entirely contingent upon his action, then, in our culture, it is typically perceived as the result of luck, chance, fate, as under the control of powerful others, or as unpredictable because of the great complexity of the forces surrounding him. When the event is interpreted in this way by an individual, we have labeled this a belief in external control. If the person perceives that the event is contingent upon his own behavior or his own relatively permanent characteristics, we have termed this a belief in internal control.”

Basically, Rotter is saying that there are different ways we perceive motivators and life events through internal and external means. Externally we focus on the phenomenon of luck, fate, and our place in the world under superiors and others in charge. Internally we focus on characteristics of locus of control that are more geared toward the personal choices we make and how we perceive and validate our own choices.

Locus is Latin for place or location. The concept of one’s ‘place’ within their locus of control is measured by how internal or externally swayed they are.

An example of this is how a student who fails an exam views the situation. If the student has a heavy internal locus of control they will recognize that they could have studied more adamantly in order to pass the test. They recognize that they could made more personal attempts at understanding the exam material. If the student is more external with their locus of control they will look at other factors. Maybe the teacher doesn’t like them, or the classroom was too noisy during the test, or they had something else on their mind that was distracting them from the task at hand.

Another more extreme example of this idea deals with a catastrophic event that happened in Bangladesh two years ago. When a clothing factory collapsed, 1,127 factory workers were killed due to poor working conditions and a unstably constructed building. There are a multitude of reasons why this disaster happened but on terms of locus of control and those injured in the process; it can be viewed in an internal or external manner. Those with an internal focus would argue that they could have noticed the conditions that were unsafe themselves and made attempts to ensure that their workplace was up to basic building codes. Someone that is externally driven would argue that it was bigger than them, i.e. fate or karma that controlled the collapse. Either way it was an unfortunate circumstance, but interestingly enough even something to this caliber can be processed with locus of control in mind.

Also an important factor to keep in mind is stability. Stability has a large impact on locus of control. Depending on how mentally stable a person is directly impacts how internally or externally driven they are. Generally the more stable a person is, the more internal they seem. Just as the issues of mental health stigmas are relevant and important to understand, it’s important to not have stigmas associated with someone that is very externally driven. There are reasons why a person falls into either category and a lack of internal locus of control isn’t always a bad thing.

Personally, I believe that I have a strong internal locus of control. I tend to be more focused on how my own actions affect my life and am less hung up on outside motivators such as luck, fate, and peoples influences on the environments I am surrounded by. While internal locus of control is associated with stability within oneself it’s important to understand that in matters of love and relationships, external locus of control is something that can sway and impact a person more than they might realize.

If there isn’t alignment between internal and external motivators in any relationship then many problems can occur. Balance is important. Stability is a must. You must have a strong sense of your own desires and what personally makes you feel good in order to achieve long term happiness. That being said, there are always outside, peculiar experiences that impact this. Fate plays a role and it’s important to recognize that, but don’t let it overshadow your internal locus of control.

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5 Steps to Get You Through a Terrible Feeling and In to Feeling Good Again

5 Steps To Get You Out Of A Terrible Feeling And Back Into A Good Feeling Again

how to change a bad mood

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”

― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Is there such thing as a wrong feeling? Well kind of, but not really. Most feelings aren’t fundamentally good or bad, rather it’s how we chose to act on them which makes them good or bad, or useful or detrimental to ourselves or someone else.

Many of us were brought up, conditioned, and told to believe having negative feelings is bad so if you ever hope to be a worthwhile, good, acceptable, respectable, or even half decent person you must always be in total control of your feelings, and only ever feel or express the good ones.

If this is the case, then I fail. And I’ve been learning to be okay with that.

One of said fails occurred just the other day after putting my year and a half old daughter down for her afternoon nap. My child typically naps for about 90 minutes, so knowing this I had been determined and motivated all morning to spend this uninterrupted hour and a half or so being extra productive and getting some good solid work done.

On this particular day, however, about 20 minutes in, and just as my productivity juices were starting to flow, she woke up!

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said to myself. “Not today. Okay, no big deal, I’ll just go in and help her go back to sleep. It’s okay if it takes me a few minutes to do that, I can come back and get these things done that I’ve been really wanting and needing to get done. It’s okay. All will be back on track in a few minutes.”

Well, apparently this little person had a different idea. Yes, she was willing to lay back down, but no, she was not at all interested in going back to sleep. And after a good 30 minutes of trying everything in my bag of tricks to lull her back to sleep, my plans of being able to get in some good solid and productive working time were slowly unraveling and there was nothing I could do.

But I just couldn’t let go of my mind set on getting this work done. So, I got mad. Mad and frustrated at my child. At one point I even said in a not-very-warm-mummy voice “Oh, just close your freaking eyes and go to sleep. COME ON!” but of course, she didn’t. Which of course led me to feel even more frustrated.

And then I started to get angry with myself for being a bad parent and feeling resentful toward my child for something that was not even a little bit her fault. And then I started to feel worse because I couldn’t stop feeling frustrated with the situation, and with myself for not being able to feel rational and talk myself out of feeling angry.

And then it all just felt like too much and I decided that I might just spontaneously combust right then and there.

Luckily, however, a few moments later I was able to get a grip and come to my senses, and show myself a little compassion and understanding by allowing myself to just throw out all attempts to “keep it all together and be a perfect and rational parent with perfect emotions” out the window.

And I cried. And I buried my head in my hands and I cried. And I walked in to the bathroom so my poor child wouldn’t have to witness such a pathetic site, and I sat on the edge of the tub and cried. Probably for too long, but I do sometimes have a bit of a flair for the dramatic.

And when I felt done crying, I stopped.

And then I sat on the edge of the tub and I took some deep deep breaths.I then got myself together, apologized to my child for not letting myself just accept and feel my feelings and instead taking them out on her.

Once I was able to feel what was happening inside of me and allowed it just come out through some pretty harmless tears and self-pity it was actually quite easy to let go of my idea of how I wanted the afternoon to unfold.

I went back in to her bedroom, scooped my sweet child up in to my arms and we played and laughed and snuggled and went to the park and ate cheesy fishies together.

So what of all this Julia? Let me tell you:

Next time You start to feel frustrated, discouraged, disappointed or angry, before you try to talk yourself down or out of what you’re feeling go through these 5 steps:

  1. Feel & Experience: Just go ahead and let yourself feel what you’re feeling. Feel that feeling and feel it good.

Give yourself a little space – walk into another room and have a good cry, or stomp of your feet, a walk around the block or bury your head into a pillow and just let the feeling come in swirl about for a few minutes.

  1. Accept:Then, once you’ve allowed that feeling to be felt, heard, and accepted, you will start the process of feeling much calmer because you won’t be fighting your feelings, yourself nor the fact that you are an imperfect and not-always-totally-together human being. And THAT’s sure to bring relief.
  1. Encourage: After this, pull your socks up, and give yourself a pep talk.

A pep talk that goes something like this: “I can do it!” or “So it didn’t go my way; that happens sometimes. Time to move forward and switch gears,” or “I’ve overcome MUCH bigger challenges than this,” Or “this sucks, but I am strong and I can get through it and it doesn’t have to ruin my whole day, or week, or month” or whatever words of support and encouragement you need to hear from yourself in that moment.

If you’re having a hard time with the pep talk, think about what you would say to a close friend who was struggling and needed to hear some words of encouragement, and then say that to yourself.

  1. Be Grateful: In spite of it all, think of 3 things you are grateful for in you life right in that moment. It doesn’t have to be things that are relevant or connected to recent upsetting events, just 3 things in general. They can be small like: having a comfy bed to sleep in at night, or having food in the fridge to feed myself whenever I am hungry, or living in a safe neighbourhood (you know, the little things we take for granted). Or bigger things like: Friends who love me, a job I enjoy, a healthy, happy, beautiful child (you know, the big things in life we take for granted).
  1. Re-Do:Whoever said there aren’t second chances in life was mistaken. There are almost always opportunities to re-write or more fittingly re-right a situation gone wrong.

Take yourself back to the situation or person with your renewed sense of peace, acceptance, and strength and turn the situation around into something positive and enjoyable.

Feel it, experience it, accept it, deal with it, and get on to feeling good again.

———

Julia Kristina is a Mental Health Therapist, and runs an active Private Practice in Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. Helping men and women experience positive and healthy changes in their lives is her passion and she feels grateful and blessed to be doing this work. Julia also gives vibrant and engaging talks and workshops on topics related to Mental Health, Wellness, and Personal Development. Whenever she is able to find a few moments, she dedicates this time to her other passion: writing in a light hearted, yet thoughtful way what she is researching, learning, and experiencing as a therapist on her Good for Me blog

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