Do you ask yourself “How can I get what I want in this relationship?”

Well, we’re happy to let you know there’s a simple trick to it. The trick is that you would be happy with a number of outcomes. You just don’t know it yet.

It’s just a question of finding the result that works for both you and your partner.

The vast majority of times, that place exists; you just need to find it.

Here is a secret that very few people, even many therapists and counselors, know: you can find that place without struggle.

You know how it usually works. You take position A; your partner holds position B, an obviously stupid and inferior position, and you can’t understand how they can be so dense as to not understand that you are right and their position is so wrong…and so it goes, until one person, severely wounded and out of ammunition (we hope you realize this is metaphorical) concedes, but the pain of defeat remains, ready to add fuel to the next conflict.
You can avoid all that. Really!

1. Be Flexible

How likely is it that your first opinion on a subject is the best, most perfect and only solution in the entire world? If your partner has that attitude, too, there’s no hope. You have to be open to other possibilities. What’s the best movie in the world? Hard to pick from the ones you know, but what if it’s one you haven’t even seen yet?

When you and your partner disagree initially, you have to remain open to all the possibilities, otherwise there is no route to a solution.

2. Remember You are on the Same Side

You’re a partnership. Whether it’s FWB or marriage vows, you have reached an agreement within your relationship, and your needs are mutual, not antagonistic or opposed.

When you approach disagreements in this light and both of you can declare an intention to find a solution, the challenge is transmuted from a competition into a treasure hunt.

3. Stay in Physical Contact

Sit together, hold hands, touch knees, whatever; there is a communication through touch that runs far deeper than words. Use it. Researchers have found that two people separated visually can communicate emotions by touch far above the expected rate. It’s an inheritance from the many species that do not use language.

4. Speak Personally

Don’t talk about your partner’s failings; speak personally instead. Say “I’m feeling cold” rather than “You pulled the blanket off me,” or “I feel Johnny needs more independence” rather than “You spoil him too much.” This removes the accusatory tone that leads to a counterattack or a defensive response. Instead, it’s a personal statement about what you are thinking and feeling, an offering of openness that can draw your partner closer.

Such a change of attitude from such a small change in language!

5. Practice Active Listening

When your partner speaks in turn (and you do give them space to get their message across, don’t you?), listen attentively to what they are saying and feeling. Don’t be preparing counter arguments as they speak; you’ll miss out on much of what they’re saying. Instead, try your best to see where they’re coming from. They have a viewpoint; it’s just not yours (or maybe it is, it’s just described differently. You won’t know till you listen!) What a chance for intimacy and an opportunity to find out how your partner sees the world!

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When you both practice all of these things, a wonderful dance can occur. Because your partner has described his or her needs and concerns, you can think of a modification of your position that accommodates them and yet is still perfectly acceptable to you. Your partner can likewise make suggestions, and the dance goes on until you both arrive at the same place.

This is magic because 1) you’ve found something that works for both of you; 2) neither person has compromised, and 3) it occurred without any conflict or bad feelings. It turns a disagreement from an emotional battle into an intimate sharing where you end up closer than ever. The more you do this, the more you see how it works and the more enticing it becomes, until there is no other way that you would have it.

We can assure you from personal experience that this method works. We have been together for 11 years without an argument, and still rejoice every day in the pleasure of each other’s company.

The post 5 Ways to Get What You Want in Your Relationship appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Whether you are a veggie lover or not, it can be tough to pack in the daily recommended amount of vitamins and nutrients into your diet. This becomes even more difficult if you are busy and have a million other things to do through the day.

The good news is that there are smoothies.

Smoothies are a great way to get your daily dose of fruits and vegetables.  They are jam-packed with fiber, vitamins and nutrients which can do wonders for your skin and health in general.

If you are looking for smoothie recipes for glowing skin, here are 6 inspirations you can check out.

1. Vitamin A Spinach and Mango Smoothie

This nutrient-rich smoothie is gluten and dairy-free. It is packed with Vitamin A, which can reduce your wrinkles and brown spots.

The vitamin can also slow down the breakdown of collagen and elastin, thereby delaying the aging process. It can improve your skin texture and stimulate blood flow, too.

Ingredients

½ a cucumber
1 small avocado
½ cup mango
2 cups spinach
1 orange-peeled
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1 tbsp. ground flax seeds
2 cups coconut water
Juice of 1 lime

Method

Blend the Spinach first, followed by all the other ingredients. You can try adding some orange or lime zest to add a hint of citrus flavor. Continue blending until the mixture becomes smooth in consistency.

The seeds are optional, but they can make a huge difference in the nutritional value of this smoothie.

2. Vitamin C Ginger Cranberry Smoothie

Cranberries are the star of this refreshing smoothie. Apart from being delicious, they are rich in Vitamins C and E. They are also packed with a lot of antioxidants and fiber.

Ginger, on the other hand, is excellent in boosting the immune system. It’s rich in antioxidants that can protect your body against free radical damage. It also improves elasticity and evens out skin tone. Chia seeds add protein and healthy fats to the mix.

Ingredients

1/4 cup cranberries
2 oranges – peeled
1/2 inch ginger – peeled
1 cup baby kale
1 cucumber
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1/2 cup water

Method

Blend the baby kale, cranberries, oranges, cucumber, and ginger. Once blended well, you can add the chia seeds and water. You can also try adding coconut water for an additional boost in vitamins and minerals.

See Also: 5 Tasty Alternatives to your Calorie-Dense Staples

3. Vitamin C Grapefruit Smoothie

This smoothie packs a huge flavor punch. Grapefruits are rich in Vitamin A, lycopene, and carotene, which have healing properties.

Oranges and grapefruits, meanwhile, contain Vitamin C which stimulates the production of collagen and brings elasticity to the skin. Bell Peppers contain a lot of Vitamin C, too. In fact, half a cup of it already has 300% of the daily recommended value of the vitamin.

With these benefits, you can consider it as one of the best smoothie recipes for glowing skin you can try.

Ingredients

1/2 large red bell pepper
1 large red grapefruit- peeled
2 oranges- peeled
1/2 cup water
Ice (optional)

Method

Puree the bell pepper, grapefruit and oranges using your blender. Add the water and ice to make it cold (optional). This recipe makes about 4 cups of the smoothie.

4. Broccoli and Blueberry Antioxidant Smoothie

The idea of using broccoli in your smoothie can make you cringe. However, in this recipe, there are oranges and blueberries to mask its strong flavor.

Broccoli is full of fiber, calcium and Vitamins C and A. Its nutritional value makes it a great addition to any smoothie recipe you’re thinking of.

Ingredients

1 cup broccoli
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
2 large oranges- peeled)
1 cup water

Method

Blend the broccoli, blueberries and oranges until smooth. Add water until you get the right consistency. This recipe creates a thick smoothie, so make sure to add enough water to thin it out. You can also blend it with ice, as it is best-served cold.

5. Coconut Water Glowing Skin Smoothie

One of the well-known benefits of coconut water is fluid and mineral replacement. It contains lauric acid and cytokines which play vital roles in cell growth and regulation.

Oranges and mangoes contain Vitamins A, B, C, E and K. Aside from giving the smoothie its nutritional value, these fruits also add a great flavor and natural sweetness to the mix.

Strawberries can help boost your natural collagen production while the carrots can give you intense protection against free radical damage.

Ingredients

1 cup coconut water, chilled
1 cup frozen or fresh strawberries
1 cup carrots-peeled
1 orange- peeled
1 cup frozen or fresh mango chunks

Method

Puree the strawberries, orange, carrots, and mango chunks in a blender. Add the chilled coconut water and continue  blending until the mixture becomes smooth. Serve chilled.

6. Berry Detox Smoothie

Berries are rich in vitamin C. They also contain healthy nutrients like zinc, Omega 3 and selenium. These properties help reduce inflammation, prevent clogged pores and heal skin rashes.

The berry flavor of the smoothie masks the kale, so you won’t need to worry about the vegetable ruining the taste of your drink.

See Also: 10 Amazing Foods You Should Include in Your Detox Diet

Ingredients

1/4 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen strawberries
1/4 cup chopped kale
1/4 cup frozen banana
1 cup water

Method

First, puree the kale and banana until smooth. Add the berries and water and blend until you get the desired consistency. This smoothie is best served chilled, so make sure to add some ice.

Conclusion

If you are new to including smoothies in your diet, don’t go overboard with the vegetables at first. Start off with fruit smoothies and gradually work your way into including greens.

Some vegetables tend to have a lot of fiber which may impact the texture of your smoothie. Because of this, it’s a good idea to invest in a high-powered blender from brands like Blendtec or Vitamix. But, you can certainly start off with your regular blender.

Nutrition plays a major role in the health of our skin and countless other biological functions. Luckily, getting the nutrients we need for our health is now easier with smoothies.

What smoothie recipes for glowing skin and optimum health have you tried? How do you make them taste better?

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What does it take to become a successful entrepreneur? A good idea? A great team? Or none of the above?

One thing successful entrepreneurs all have in common is that they read. In case you’re looking for a great place to start, here are the 5 most recommended business books by today’s entrepreneurs as well as the best tips you can learn from each of them.

1. The Lean Startup – Eric Ries

Traditional management consists of developing a strategy and overseeing the people executing it.

The manager creates a plan, sets milestones, and delegates. Startups, on the other hand, can’t predict their own future because they have no past. They don’t know what their customers want, and they don’t know which approaches are best for finding customers that can make the business sustainable.

Startups need an entirely different approach, and that’s where Eric Ries’s book, The Lean Startup, is valuable. The Lean Startup method helps companies develop sustainable business models by encouraging continuous product creation while concentrating on consumer feedback.

Ries, as an entrepreneur, bases the method on two important business concepts: lean manufacturing and agile development. And it’s not just a product of experience; it’s actually backed by several case studies which have been pulled together from the last few years.

In keeping with the lean protocol, Ries’s top piece of advice is this: don’t waste time on developing a product in the beginning. Instead, launch a basic model and see if it will sell. If not, iterate, iterate, and iterate some more.

2. Rework – Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson

Rework is not your traditional business book. Instead of advising you to run your business the conventional way, it offers unorthodox strategies in communicating and crafting your products.

These tricks come from people who know what they’re talking about. Jason Fried is one of the original founders of 37signals.  His co-founder, David Heinemeier Hansson, is the creator of Ruby on Rails—the scaffolding for Twitter, Hulu, and thousands of other web services.

Fried and Hansson based Rework’s lessons on their own journey- from starting up to upscaling their business to the point where it generates millions of dollars annually. 

One important concept that the duo highlights in Rework is that you actually need less than what you think to start your own company—have it less figured out, fewer resources, and basically less of everything.

Fried recommends adding value for your customers by knowing what not to sell. You don’t need to offer every feature out there; instead, focus on what you do great and get rid of the “nice-to-haves.” You’ll be surprised at how that will transform your business.

3. How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

You’ve probably already heard the name Dale Carnegie.

He was an American speaker and consultant on communications and motivation. He also happens to be known as the creator of the self-development genre—a title he earned by writing the bestseller How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Even today, Carnegie’s book keeps on flying off of shelves and it’s actually isn’t surprising. It’s full of lively anecdotes featuring people like Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.

It’s very relatable as well. Carnegie  offers up a lot of great, common sense tips in his book. One of the most useful nuggets is this: never openly criticize people.

And it’s not because you’ll hurt people’s feelings (though well you might); it’s actually more about being strategic and practical. Carnegie learned that when you criticize people, they’ll never change their behavior. To have a successful interaction, the book encourages you to empathize, forgive, and accept their shortcomings instead.

4. Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill

Journalist and advisor to President Franklin Roosevelt, Napoleon Hill, was asked by industry magnate Andrew Carnegie to investigate the methods of the 500 most successful people of his time. Hill talked to the world’s richest men, top politicians, famous inventors, writers, and captains of industry—and then wrote the book.

Among other things, Hill learned a lot about the importance of the company you keep. He hypothesized that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Naturally, it’s important to surround yourself with intelligent, positive, and supportive people. Hill even had a name for this: the Brain Trust.

Hill held that if two or more people who work well with one another combine their skills, talents, specialist knowledge, experiences, relationships and all other resources and use them to accomplish the same shared goal, the result will be more than just a sum of its parts: it’s a surplus with which you can achieve things you could have never achieved alone.

5. The 4-Hour Workweek — Timothy Ferriss

American entrepreneur and writer, Tim Ferriss, wrote this controversial classic based on his own experience in remaking his life. After founding a company in 2001, he worked so hard that a burnout forced him to take a break.

He then took off to travel the world and was surprised to find how he could run a profitable business from anywhere in the world – and with only a few hours of work per week. He wrote The 4-Hour Workweek and shared those secrets.

In the book, Ferriss advocates abandoning the traditional 9-5 job as a modern desk slave. Instead, he encourages living a life that concentrates on enjoying  while still achieving big goals.

How do you exactly do that?

One of its critical aspects is learning to let go of the things you don’t really need to do, like, for example, micromanaging. A great tip from Ferriss’ book is this: Don’t babysit your team.

Instead, only get involved in exceptional cases. By giving them freer reign, you don’t only empower them but you also get to have more time for yourself to do the things you want to do.

As much as possible, try to read these books in one week. If you liked what you read but would like to know more about the key concepts from these books before you buy them, I recommend trying out Blinkist. They’ve condensed the five books above—plus about 1,500 more—into bite-sized reads for mobile devices.

 

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You’ll probably agree with this one:

Hiring and managing freelancers is a tough job.

Well, is it?

Outsourcing your project to freelancers shouldn’t be difficult. In fact, it should make your job a lot easier. They should be able to take some of the load off of your shoulders and get your business to run more effectively and efficiently.

But, how exactly do you hire and manage freelancers? Here’s a quick rundown of the things you need to know.

Why Should You Hire Freelancers?

• If you’re upscaling your business, there’s a good chance you’ll be needing extra hands to cover the additional jobs. Resorting to hiring freelancers is not only a great solution to meet your goals, but it can also help you cut cost, particularly if you can’t afford to hire new people to go full time in your company.
• Adding someone new to your project can give it the fresh take you’re looking for. Since freelancers aren’t tied up to strict schedules, they can get the job done efficiently and creatively.
• Freelancers are mostly time-bound when it comes to their tasks. If you need to get something done quickly, they are the best people you can turn to.
• They are experts in their fields. Some of them could even be honing their crafts longer than your business. They can help you rethink your tactics and strategies to boost your earnings.

See Also: Why You Need to Delegate More

How Do You Find The Best Freelancers?

One of the best things about hiring freelancers is that you never run out of sources. Unfortunately, however, it’s also one of the most common pitfalls of the process. Because there are a lot of options to choose from, you can end up going through a series of trial-and-error before you can find the right person for the job. This approach isn’t only time consuming; it can also burn holes in your wallet.

Fortunately, however, that’s not always the case. Here are some of the best ways you can source your new writer.

Freelance Platforms

Going through freelance platforms gives you the opportunity to find writers that match your project. Once you’ve set your project, freelance writers can start posting their bids. You can go through their profiles, feedbacks and rates before you make the final call.

• Workfast: Getting your writer in Workfast can help you avoid the costly hiring process most platforms require. It offers flexibility so you can hire a writer to work for you on an hourly, a daily or even on a long-term basis.
• Upwork: This is another reliable freelancing platform with lots of great people to complete your project. The problem with the platform, however, is that its freelancers tend to charge high, especially after the implementation of its new sliding fees.
• Freelancer: It works very similar with Upwork but with different rates and charges. You post your project and sort through profiles and feedbacks to find the right match for the job.

Consider referrals

Referrals and recommendations are good options if you have friends or colleagues who have hired good people to work for them before. Since freelancers will be recommended, you can be sure that they can deliver quality work.

Aside from friends, you can also ask the people you’ve already hired if they can refer other freelancers to join your team. Since they are a close community, referring other people with the same caliber can’t be that hard.

How to Manage Your Freelancers for Optimum Results

There is no rocket science equation about successfully managing your freelancers, but there are three things you need to have if you want to bring the best out of them.

Accountability

If you’re planning to build a team of freelancers, it’s a good idea if you can be clear about their roles. One of the best ways to achieve this is to establish milestones and metrics. Breaking down the project into different stages and setting one freelancer or a set of freelancers in charge of each stage can help ensure that the project runs smoothly.

Openness

Communication is critical to the success of any project. You need to know when and how to communicate with your freelancers before, during and after their tasks. This will save you time and energy in following up reports and demanding changes.

You can set regular monthly meetings in Skype or any other platform to keep track of your project’s milestones. Requiring your freelancers to create daily or weekly reports can also make you more aware of the progress of the project. From time to time, do an update on your goals and provide feedbacks to motivate your freelancers to do better. You can also encourage participation by asking for their opinions once in a while.

Clarity

Before you even let your freelancers start with the project, make sure you are clear about what you want and when you expect to have it. Give as much information to your freelancers as possible to eliminate confusions and frustrations along the way. Sketch out your deliverables and include the names of the people who will be in charge of completing them. It can also help if you can be clear about what criteria you’ll be using to measure their results.

Handing out content briefs for your writers, for example, is one good way to ensure that they create optimum articles that will match your site. You can also create spreadsheets, video tutorials and presentations to make tasks even clearer.

See Also: 5 Steps to Do Less in Life

Conclusion

Freelancers, no matter what their expertise are, can greatly help you reach your business goals with less stress and hassle. Although the process can require a bit of work, particularly during the initial stages, completing your to-do list should be a breeze once you’ve set your eyes on the most qualified individuals. The key thing is to outsource from the best hiring platform and manage your freelancers in a way that would encourage them to grow professionally

The post A Practical Guide to Hiring and Managing Freelancers appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Have you heard of the perfect nap?

It’s not uncommon for people to feel sleepy during the day. And this is actually regardless of whether one had enough sleep the night before or not. It can happen while you’re at work or even at school.

Although you can fight sleepiness with a cup of coffee, research proves that napping is actually the better solution.

Here’s a quick rundown of the most common benefits of taking power naps.

Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety can affect your performance and productivity. Research proves that getting enough sleep can help you reduce both. Aside from ensuring that you get enough sleep at night, taking quick naps can be very beneficial to you as well.

Increases Productivity

It’s easy to think that taking 20 minutes from your work time for a nap can affect your productivity. On the contrary, however, it’s actually the exact opposite.

Taking a short nap can help improve your response time and creativity. It can also reduce your errors at work and boost your overall productivity.

Improves Memory

You’ve probably already met people who tend to sleep over something so that they can easily remember it. Although the idea may sound absurd, research suggests that taking a nap can actually boost a person’s memory.

A nap can’t only improve your ability to retain information; it can also help you assimilate new data.

Controls Weight

Ghrelin hormone is what makes people crave for certain foods. It’s mainly triggered by lack of sleep. If you want to resist your food cravings and control your hunger, taking frequent short naps might do the trick.

Lowers Blood Pressure

High blood pressure affects millions of people across the globe. Although there are medicines and  treatments available to control the condition, taking a simple nap can also be very useful. According to scientists and medical professionals, taking a 45 minute nap can significantly reduce a person’s blood pressure.

If you are struggling to get the perfect nap, here are some of the things you can try:

TIPS FOR A PERFECT NAP

#1 Prepare Yourself Psychologically

Napping doesn’t always mean you’re lazy. If you have any doubts or you feel like you’re doing something wrong when dozing off in the afternoon, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to get the most out of it.

#2 Choose the Correct Time to Nap

The best times to nap is late in the morning or just after lunch. Napping late in the afternoon can only throw you into a deep sleep, which can leave you groggy. It can also take up a lot of your time and decrease your productivity.

#3 Time Yourself

A perfect nap should last between 20 and 25 minutes.  Because of this, it’s essential that you have an alarm clock near you so you don’t oversleep.

Drinking a cup of coffee before napping helps, too. Since the effects of caffeine usually kick in after about 20 minutes, it should help you wake up quickly.

See Also: How to Supercharge Your Afternoon With a Napuccino (aka a Coffee Nap)

#4 Find a Good Location

A nap might be short, but you still need to choose the right place to have it. You should find a place that is clean and quiet, where there are no passersby or ringing phones to distract you.

#5 Keep the Lights Out

Turning off any light sources in the office and drawing the blinds will make it easy for you to sleep. However, if these things aren’t possible, then a sleep mask can come in handy. It’s comfortable to wear but very effective in keeping out the light.

#6 Lie Down

It can take 50% longer for you to fall asleep when you’re in an upright position. Unfortunately, however, you don’t always get to lie down when you’re in the office or at school.

If you can’t lie down, just assume any position you’re comfortable with. It’s essentially the key to getting the perfect nap.

#7 Come up With a Schedule

Scheduling your rest is important if you want to get the most out of it. Once you’re able to come up with a schedule, make it a point to follow it consistently.

See Also: How to Boost your Afternoon Energy with a Power Nap

CONCLUSION

A 20-minute nap a day can have tremendous effects on your health and work performance. It might feel a bit awkward at first, particularly if you’re not used to it. However, with its list of benefits, getting the perfect nap is a must-do in  your daily routine.

How do you get yourself to take a power nap? Do you have any other tricks to make napping easier?

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Do you know why you can’t stop procrastinating the really scary stuff- despite all your good intentions?

It’s because the classic anti-procrastination tip just doesn’t work on them. It works on easier things,  like those things that are only a little uncomfortable. Take, for example, decluttering your bedroom.

But, when it comes to the really important stuff, such as the ones that are life changing and take a lot of commitment, the classic tips cease to be effective at all. This mostly happens with important milestones in your life, like quitting your job to start your dream business, losing weight, or writing the book you’ve had in mind for ten years.

It’s like cutting down a tree in a really thick black forest. You know you have to do it but you find a lot of excuses not to.

It’s really difficult, right?

There’s something about feeling ‘scared’ that makes us not to want to have anything to do with it. And there’s another good reason- pain.

We’re inclined to do things that can give us pleasure, while we run away from the things we know can give us pain. We’d rather choose the pleasure of today even if it’ll cause us pain tomorrow. We’d rather deny the pain of today even if we know we’ll get great pleasure from it in the future.

Think about it this way:

If the promise of pleasure is greater than the promise of pain, you tend to act immediately. But, if it is the other way round, you procrastinate.

So, do you know how to quit procrastinating?

Easy. You have to break this pattern.

Here are the secret ways you can trick your brain:

Put things into perspective

Learn to recognize the pain that’s holding you back and the pleasure you derive from being held back. You can ask yourself the short-term and long-term discomforts you have to endure if you don’t take action now.

See Also: 3 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Live The Life Of Your Dreams

Think about the stress and lack of peace of mind. Anticipate the feeling of disappointment in yourself and the long-term pain of watching your dreams go down the drain. Imagine financial failure, lack of self-fulfillment and even depression.

Establish accountability

Sometimes, the idea of a loss or failure can be enough motivation to pull you off of your comfortable couch.

Imagine that you have a good book to finish. If you’ve been putting off writing that book, you might miss your deadline. There’s the pain of possible rejection and the fear of not being able to finish it on time. You can get laid off from work and you might not even get paid for the earlier work done.

Anticipate the pleasure

Aside from thinking about the negative effects of procrastinating, another good motivator is the reward you’ll receive after getting the work done. While working, ask yourself what pleasure you can derive from it.

If you’re aiming for a promotion, now’s the right time to act on it. If you’re planning on taking a vacation, you should start working on your project right now- so you can have enough time to prepare for your trip. Just think about the pleasant activities you can enjoy once the hard tasks are done and you’ll feel instantly motivated.

Compare and contrast

Compare the pain of taking action now and the pain of procrastination. Then, compare the pleasure you’ll derive by taking action now and the pleasure you’ll get from procrastinating.

If you’re having a hard time picturing these things in your mind, it’s a good idea if you can write them down. List down the pros and cons of delaying the task. You can also sketch down its negative and positive effects.

Seeing these things on paper can help train your mind into going into action. The more you condition your mind, the more likely you’ll defeat procrastination.

See Also: Five Things To Do Right Now To Stop Procrastinating

How do you beat procrastination? What do you do to get yourself to move?

 

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