5 Ways to Get What You Want in Your Relationship

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Do you ask yourself “How can I get what I want in this relationship?”

Well, we’re happy to let you know there’s a simple trick to it. The trick is that you would be happy with a number of outcomes. You just don’t know it yet.

It’s just a question of finding the result that works for both you and your partner.

The vast majority of times, that place exists; you just need to find it.

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Here is a secret that very few people, even many therapists and counselors, know: you can find that place without struggle.

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You know how it usually works. You take position A; your partner holds position B, an obviously stupid and inferior position, and you can’t understand how they can be so dense as to not understand that you are right and their position is so wrong…and so it goes, until one person, severely wounded and out of ammunition (we hope you realize this is metaphorical) concedes, but the pain of defeat remains, ready to add fuel to the next conflict.
You can avoid all that. Really!

1. Be Flexible

How likely is it that your first opinion on a subject is the best, most perfect and only solution in the entire world? If your partner has that attitude, too, there’s no hope. You have to be open to other possibilities. What’s the best movie in the world? Hard to pick from the ones you know, but what if it’s one you haven’t even seen yet?

When you and your partner disagree initially, you have to remain open to all the possibilities, otherwise there is no route to a solution.

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2. Remember You are on the Same Side

You’re a partnership. Whether it’s FWB or marriage vows, you have reached an agreement within your relationship, and your needs are mutual, not antagonistic or opposed.

When you approach disagreements in this light and both of you can declare an intention to find a solution, the challenge is transmuted from a competition into a treasure hunt.

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3. Stay in Physical Contact

holding-hands

Sit together, hold hands, touch knees, whatever; there is a communication through touch that runs far deeper than words. Use it. Researchers have found that two people separated visually can communicate emotions by touch far above the expected rate. It’s an inheritance from the many species that do not use language.

4. Speak Personally

Don’t talk about your partner’s failings; speak personally instead. Say “I’m feeling cold” rather than “You pulled the blanket off me,” or “I feel Johnny needs more independence” rather than “You spoil him too much.” This removes the accusatory tone that leads to a counterattack or a defensive response. Instead, it’s a personal statement about what you are thinking and feeling, an offering of openness that can draw your partner closer.

Such a change of attitude from such a small change in language!

5. Practice Active Listening

active listening

When your partner speaks in turn (and you do give them space to get their message across, don’t you?), listen attentively to what they are saying and feeling. Don’t be preparing counter arguments as they speak; you’ll miss out on much of what they’re saying. Instead, try your best to see where they’re coming from. They have a viewpoint; it’s just not yours (or maybe it is, it’s just described differently. You won’t know till you listen!) What a chance for intimacy and an opportunity to find out how your partner sees the world!

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[end of list]

When you both practice all of these things, a wonderful dance can occur. Because your partner has described his or her needs and concerns, you can think of a modification of your position that accommodates them and yet is still perfectly acceptable to you. Your partner can likewise make suggestions, and the dance goes on until you both arrive at the same place.

This is magic because 1) you’ve found something that works for both of you; 2) neither person has compromised, and 3) it occurred without any conflict or bad feelings. It turns a disagreement from an emotional battle into an intimate sharing where you end up closer than ever. The more you do this, the more you see how it works and the more enticing it becomes, until there is no other way that you would have it.

We can assure you from personal experience that this method works. We have been together for 11 years without an argument, and still rejoice every day in the pleasure of each other’s company.

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6 Vitamin-Packed Smoothie Recipes for Glowing Skin

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Whether you are a veggie lover or not, it can be tough to pack in the daily recommended amount of vitamins and nutrients into your diet. This becomes even more difficult if you are busy and have a million other things to do through the day.

The good news is that there are smoothies.

Smoothies are a great way to get your daily dose of fruits and vegetables.  They are jam-packed with fiber, vitamins and nutrients which can do wonders for your skin and health in general.

If you are looking for smoothie recipes for glowing skin, here are 6 inspirations you can check out.

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1. Vitamin A Spinach and Mango Smoothie

Spinach-and-Mango-Smoothie

Via skinnyms.com

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This nutrient-rich smoothie is gluten and dairy-free. It is packed with Vitamin A, which can reduce your wrinkles and brown spots.

The vitamin can also slow down the breakdown of collagen and elastin, thereby delaying the aging process. It can improve your skin texture and stimulate blood flow, too.

Ingredients

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½ a cucumber
1 small avocado
½ cup mango
2 cups spinach
1 orange-peeled
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1 tbsp. ground flax seeds
2 cups coconut water
Juice of 1 lime

Method

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Blend the Spinach first, followed by all the other ingredients. You can try adding some orange or lime zest to add a hint of citrus flavor. Continue blending until the mixture becomes smooth in consistency.

The seeds are optional, but they can make a huge difference in the nutritional value of this smoothie.

2. Vitamin C Ginger Cranberry Smoothie

Cranberries are the star of this refreshing smoothie. Apart from being delicious, they are rich in Vitamins C and E. They are also packed with a lot of antioxidants and fiber.

Ginger, on the other hand, is excellent in boosting the immune system. It’s rich in antioxidants that can protect your body against free radical damage. It also improves elasticity and evens out skin tone. Chia seeds add protein and healthy fats to the mix.

Ingredients

1/4 cup cranberries
2 oranges – peeled
1/2 inch ginger – peeled
1 cup baby kale
1 cucumber
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1/2 cup water

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Method

Blend the baby kale, cranberries, oranges, cucumber, and ginger. Once blended well, you can add the chia seeds and water. You can also try adding coconut water for an additional boost in vitamins and minerals.

See Also: 5 Tasty Alternatives to your Calorie-Dense Staples

3. Vitamin C Grapefruit Smoothie

This smoothie packs a huge flavor punch. Grapefruits are rich in Vitamin A, lycopene, and carotene, which have healing properties.

Oranges and grapefruits, meanwhile, contain Vitamin C which stimulates the production of collagen and brings elasticity to the skin. Bell Peppers contain a lot of Vitamin C, too. In fact, half a cup of it already has 300% of the daily recommended value of the vitamin.

With these benefits, you can consider it as one of the best smoothie recipes for glowing skin you can try.

Ingredients

1/2 large red bell pepper
1 large red grapefruit- peeled
2 oranges- peeled
1/2 cup water
Ice (optional)

Method

Puree the bell pepper, grapefruit and oranges using your blender. Add the water and ice to make it cold (optional). This recipe makes about 4 cups of the smoothie.

4. Broccoli and Blueberry Antioxidant Smoothie

The idea of using broccoli in your smoothie can make you cringe. However, in this recipe, there are oranges and blueberries to mask its strong flavor.

Broccoli is full of fiber, calcium and Vitamins C and A. Its nutritional value makes it a great addition to any smoothie recipe you’re thinking of.

Ingredients

1 cup broccoli
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
2 large oranges- peeled)
1 cup water

Method

Blend the broccoli, blueberries and oranges until smooth. Add water until you get the right consistency. This recipe creates a thick smoothie, so make sure to add enough water to thin it out. You can also blend it with ice, as it is best-served cold.

5. Coconut Water Glowing Skin Smoothie

One of the well-known benefits of coconut water is fluid and mineral replacement. It contains lauric acid and cytokines which play vital roles in cell growth and regulation.

Oranges and mangoes contain Vitamins A, B, C, E and K. Aside from giving the smoothie its nutritional value, these fruits also add a great flavor and natural sweetness to the mix.

Strawberries can help boost your natural collagen production while the carrots can give you intense protection against free radical damage.

Ingredients

1 cup coconut water, chilled
1 cup frozen or fresh strawberries
1 cup carrots-peeled
1 orange- peeled
1 cup frozen or fresh mango chunks

Method

Puree the strawberries, orange, carrots, and mango chunks in a blender. Add the chilled coconut water and continue  blending until the mixture becomes smooth. Serve chilled.

6. Berry Detox Smoothie

Berry-Smoothie

Via nutribulletkitchen.com

Berries are rich in vitamin C. They also contain healthy nutrients like zinc, Omega 3 and selenium. These properties help reduce inflammation, prevent clogged pores and heal skin rashes.

The berry flavor of the smoothie masks the kale, so you won’t need to worry about the vegetable ruining the taste of your drink.

See Also: 10 Amazing Foods You Should Include in Your Detox Diet

Ingredients

1/4 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen strawberries
1/4 cup chopped kale
1/4 cup frozen banana
1 cup water

Method

First, puree the kale and banana until smooth. Add the berries and water and blend until you get the desired consistency. This smoothie is best served chilled, so make sure to add some ice.

Conclusion

If you are new to including smoothies in your diet, don’t go overboard with the vegetables at first. Start off with fruit smoothies and gradually work your way into including greens.

Some vegetables tend to have a lot of fiber which may impact the texture of your smoothie. Because of this, it’s a good idea to invest in a high-powered blender from brands like Blendtec or Vitamix. But, you can certainly start off with your regular blender.

Nutrition plays a major role in the health of our skin and countless other biological functions. Luckily, getting the nutrients we need for our health is now easier with smoothies.

What smoothie recipes for glowing skin and optimum health have you tried? How do you make them taste better?

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6 Signs It’s Time To Take Better Care Of Yourself

You eat healthy, you get to the gym when you can, you live a relatively balanced life. Or so it seems. You try to do everything according to the experts on the internet, yet something still isn’t right.  You wish you had the energy and vitality of your best friend. You have no clue what happened to your sex drive. These are only two of the signs that are in your face telling you it’s time to take care of you, but you keep ignoring them.

I don’t have time for….How many of you say this almost every day. There’s no time. I’m too busy. When can I possibly fit that in. If you find yourself saying this more often than not, then it’s definitely time for you to take heed and start taking care of yourself. Here are a few other signs. See if you recognize yourself in any of them. If you do, well, you know.

self_care3Lashing out all the time.

Are you guilty of this? Do you find you are always lashing out at your friends and/or family members? This is a clear sign you have reached your breaking point. You’re done. There’s no more room inside of you and you are boiling over. When we have too much going on inside, everything is a trigger to an emotional outburst. It’s time to put you first.

So tired.

All the time. You are overworked, stressed out, running around like a headless chicken and by midday you are pooched. Then you still have the last half of the day to endure. By nightfall, you are asleep before your head even hits the pillow. The next day it’s rinse and repeat. Time to check that calendar of yours and start making some room for you. A chill out time. You are in desperate need.

Unexplainable weight loss or gain.

This will happen if you are too busy to eat right or too busy to eat at all. It’s possible, however, that this could be caused by a more serious underlying medical condition but once the doctor does rule this out, then it’s a clear sign it’s time to take care of you. Eat right, eat often but be balanced. Your body is freaking out and wants and needs more stability and more a balanced diet. Remember our body runs on fuel and that fuel is food. Bad fuel, bad conditions.

Oops I forgot.

Again. You are getting way too forgetful these days. Why? Because you aren’t taking the time to take in important tasks, like taking care of yourself and your day is too full with taking care of everything else. The end result is forgetting things. Sometimes very important things. take time for you but maybe get a little recorder or a note pad and start jotting things down. On that list, make sure to pencil in time for you.

So much clutter.

Your house is a mess. Plain and simple. Dishes are piled high, laundry has been neglected, and what’s that smell coming out of the fridge? You simply don’t have time to look after your things. Be careful here though. The more cluttered your physical world is, the more cluttered your emotional world will be as well. Take a day or even an hour or two and start cleaning up your space. Once it is done, you will feel a million times better.

Don’t cry!

Are those emotional outbursts you are having often followed by tears? Many tears? Do you find yourself just crying for no reason and wonder why you are such an emotional disaster? It’s time to have a me day. You are tapped out. Boiled over, breaking point exploded and you are done. Find some time for you, just you and do it at least twice a week, more if you can. It’s time.

We get so busy in our lives trying to please everyone we often forget ourselves but remember, you are the most important of them all. Really.

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7 Ways to Engage Your Inner Tinman

We all have an inner Scarecrow, Tinman and Lion – you know that, right? Half way through My Year of TED, I realised that The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is the ultimate metaphor for life – and for any self-development process. For me, it aligned perfectly with my year-long project to implement the wisdom of TED Talks into my life.

Many activities in that project were designed to improve my ability to be more connected and compassionate to others. I realised that required me to finally acquire a capacity for self-compassion, or at least quieting my inner critic. I’m sure you know the pain of a nasty inner critic – so many of us have one.

Beautiful young woman looking at heart shaped balloon over yellow backgroundBelow are the key lessons about finding my heart and self-compassion – or engaging my inner tinman to stick with the metaphor:

Be kind to yourself first

If you are incapable of self-kindness, how do you think you can be kind to others. Learn to take control of the inner dialogue that chatters about how you aren’t enough – it will change your life if you can reduce that by even a small amount.

Take time for reflection

A lot is made about the importance of gratitude, and I think that daily gratitudes are powerful for achieving more joy in your life. But I think this can be extended more broadly to allowing time in your day for reflection. What went well? What did you achieve? What did you get wrong? How would you do that better in future? Reflection helps you remember the good, and take ownership of the learning experiences.

Remember the good things

As well as regularly reflecting on your achievements and the good things in your life, it will help to keep some lists or placeholders. A list of your career achievements is a great tool for job applications, performance reviews and salary negotiations – as well as a way to remember all of the things you’ve done well, when your inner critic is trying to convince you otherwise.

Understand your values

During My Year of TED, I realised the main reason I left almost every job I’ve ever had was the organisation conflicted with my values. I’d never understood this, because I’d never consciously articulated my personal values. When they are in conflict it causes this inner disharmony that you can’t fully identify, but will destroy your contentment and fulfilment.

Know what success looks like for you

This is much like your values; when you know what success looks like for you, then you can make choices that align to where you truly want to be. It will reduce disharmony and dissatisfaction, which you might be finding it hard to identify. It also reduces that horrible habit we have of envying others, and judging ourselves against their achievements.

Be more open to others

If I didn’t mention Brené Brown in here somewhere you’d know there was something wrong. Her two TED Talks were the basis for 30 days of Vulnerability in My Year of TED after all. Embrace your vulnerability and allow yourself to truly connect with other people. If you’re hiding that heart of yours inside your impenetrable exterior (like the Tinman), how you can expect to form real connections with others. I know it’s scary, but it’s so worthwhile.

Embrace the melancholic or sad moments

You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned happy once in this piece. Not because I dislike happiness, but because that has little to do with your heart. I also think it’s something we shouldn’t strive for, but that’s a whole other blog post. As part of learning the skill of self-compassion, I discovered that it was important to embrace all of the emotions. Melancholy and sadness have a place in our lives, just don’t set up camp in those emotions permanently. Honestly, there is a great kindness in embracing these emotions – who doesn’t love a good cry every now and then?

I learned a lot about how to finally embrace self-compassion in my life. Possibly the greatest gift My Year of TED gave me was taming my inner critic. By having a greater awareness and appreciation of these parts of your life, you too will be able to have greater compassion and connection with those people around you.

By following some of these simple lessons, you can open up that Tinman chest and allow yourself to discover your own heart – then share it with others.

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5 Business Books Recommended By Top Entrepreneurs

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What does it take to become a successful entrepreneur? A good idea? A great team? Or none of the above?

One thing successful entrepreneurs all have in common is that they read. In case you’re looking for a great place to start, here are the 5 most recommended business books by today’s entrepreneurs as well as the best tips you can learn from each of them.

1. The Lean Startup – Eric Ries

the lean startup

Traditional management consists of developing a strategy and overseeing the people executing it.

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The manager creates a plan, sets milestones, and delegates. Startups, on the other hand, can’t predict their own future because they have no past. They don’t know what their customers want, and they don’t know which approaches are best for finding customers that can make the business sustainable.

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Startups need an entirely different approach, and that’s where Eric Ries’s book, The Lean Startup, is valuable. The Lean Startup method helps companies develop sustainable business models by encouraging continuous product creation while concentrating on consumer feedback.

Ries, as an entrepreneur, bases the method on two important business concepts: lean manufacturing and agile development. And it’s not just a product of experience; it’s actually backed by several case studies which have been pulled together from the last few years.

In keeping with the lean protocol, Ries’s top piece of advice is this: don’t waste time on developing a product in the beginning. Instead, launch a basic model and see if it will sell. If not, iterate, iterate, and iterate some more.

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2. Rework – Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson

rework

Rework is not your traditional business book. Instead of advising you to run your business the conventional way, it offers unorthodox strategies in communicating and crafting your products.

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These tricks come from people who know what they’re talking about. Jason Fried is one of the original founders of 37signals.  His co-founder, David Heinemeier Hansson, is the creator of Ruby on Rails—the scaffolding for Twitter, Hulu, and thousands of other web services.

Fried and Hansson based Rework’s lessons on their own journey- from starting up to upscaling their business to the point where it generates millions of dollars annually. 

One important concept that the duo highlights in Rework is that you actually need less than what you think to start your own company—have it less figured out, fewer resources, and basically less of everything.

Fried recommends adding value for your customers by knowing what not to sell. You don’t need to offer every feature out there; instead, focus on what you do great and get rid of the “nice-to-haves.” You’ll be surprised at how that will transform your business.

3. How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

how to win friends and influence people dale carnegie

You’ve probably already heard the name Dale Carnegie.

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He was an American speaker and consultant on communications and motivation. He also happens to be known as the creator of the self-development genre—a title he earned by writing the bestseller How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Even today, Carnegie’s book keeps on flying off of shelves and it’s actually isn’t surprising. It’s full of lively anecdotes featuring people like Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.

It’s very relatable as well. Carnegie  offers up a lot of great, common sense tips in his book. One of the most useful nuggets is this: never openly criticize people.

And it’s not because you’ll hurt people’s feelings (though well you might); it’s actually more about being strategic and practical. Carnegie learned that when you criticize people, they’ll never change their behavior. To have a successful interaction, the book encourages you to empathize, forgive, and accept their shortcomings instead.

4. Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill

Think-and-Grow-Rich

Journalist and advisor to President Franklin Roosevelt, Napoleon Hill, was asked by industry magnate Andrew Carnegie to investigate the methods of the 500 most successful people of his time. Hill talked to the world’s richest men, top politicians, famous inventors, writers, and captains of industry—and then wrote the book.

Among other things, Hill learned a lot about the importance of the company you keep. He hypothesized that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Naturally, it’s important to surround yourself with intelligent, positive, and supportive people. Hill even had a name for this: the Brain Trust.

Hill held that if two or more people who work well with one another combine their skills, talents, specialist knowledge, experiences, relationships and all other resources and use them to accomplish the same shared goal, the result will be more than just a sum of its parts: it’s a surplus with which you can achieve things you could have never achieved alone.

5. The 4-Hour Workweek — Timothy Ferriss

four hour work week

American entrepreneur and writer, Tim Ferriss, wrote this controversial classic based on his own experience in remaking his life. After founding a company in 2001, he worked so hard that a burnout forced him to take a break.

He then took off to travel the world and was surprised to find how he could run a profitable business from anywhere in the world – and with only a few hours of work per week. He wrote The 4-Hour Workweek and shared those secrets.

In the book, Ferriss advocates abandoning the traditional 9-5 job as a modern desk slave. Instead, he encourages living a life that concentrates on enjoying  while still achieving big goals.

How do you exactly do that?

One of its critical aspects is learning to let go of the things you don’t really need to do, like, for example, micromanaging. A great tip from Ferriss’ book is this: Don’t babysit your team.

Instead, only get involved in exceptional cases. By giving them freer reign, you don’t only empower them but you also get to have more time for yourself to do the things you want to do.

As much as possible, try to read these books in one week. If you liked what you read but would like to know more about the key concepts from these books before you buy them, I recommend trying out Blinkist. They’ve condensed the five books above—plus about 1,500 more—into bite-sized reads for mobile devices.

 

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A Practical Guide to Hiring and Managing Freelancers

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You’ll probably agree with this one:

Hiring and managing freelancers is a tough job.

Well, is it?

Outsourcing your project to freelancers shouldn’t be difficult. In fact, it should make your job a lot easier. They should be able to take some of the load off of your shoulders and get your business to run more effectively and efficiently.

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But, how exactly do you hire and manage freelancers? Here’s a quick rundown of the things you need to know.

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Why Should You Hire Freelancers?

hiring a freelancer

• If you’re upscaling your business, there’s a good chance you’ll be needing extra hands to cover the additional jobs. Resorting to hiring freelancers is not only a great solution to meet your goals, but it can also help you cut cost, particularly if you can’t afford to hire new people to go full time in your company.
• Adding someone new to your project can give it the fresh take you’re looking for. Since freelancers aren’t tied up to strict schedules, they can get the job done efficiently and creatively.
• Freelancers are mostly time-bound when it comes to their tasks. If you need to get something done quickly, they are the best people you can turn to.
• They are experts in their fields. Some of them could even be honing their crafts longer than your business. They can help you rethink your tactics and strategies to boost your earnings.

See Also: Why You Need to Delegate More

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How Do You Find The Best Freelancers?

One of the best things about hiring freelancers is that you never run out of sources. Unfortunately, however, it’s also one of the most common pitfalls of the process. Because there are a lot of options to choose from, you can end up going through a series of trial-and-error before you can find the right person for the job. This approach isn’t only time consuming; it can also burn holes in your wallet.

Fortunately, however, that’s not always the case. Here are some of the best ways you can source your new writer.

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Freelance Platforms

Going through freelance platforms gives you the opportunity to find writers that match your project. Once you’ve set your project, freelance writers can start posting their bids. You can go through their profiles, feedbacks and rates before you make the final call.

Workfast: Getting your writer in Workfast can help you avoid the costly hiring process most platforms require. It offers flexibility so you can hire a writer to work for you on an hourly, a daily or even on a long-term basis.
Upwork: This is another reliable freelancing platform with lots of great people to complete your project. The problem with the platform, however, is that its freelancers tend to charge high, especially after the implementation of its new sliding fees.
Freelancer: It works very similar with Upwork but with different rates and charges. You post your project and sort through profiles and feedbacks to find the right match for the job.

Consider referrals

Referrals and recommendations are good options if you have friends or colleagues who have hired good people to work for them before. Since freelancers will be recommended, you can be sure that they can deliver quality work.

Aside from friends, you can also ask the people you’ve already hired if they can refer other freelancers to join your team. Since they are a close community, referring other people with the same caliber can’t be that hard.

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How to Manage Your Freelancers for Optimum Results

There is no rocket science equation about successfully managing your freelancers, but there are three things you need to have if you want to bring the best out of them.

Accountability

If you’re planning to build a team of freelancers, it’s a good idea if you can be clear about their roles. One of the best ways to achieve this is to establish milestones and metrics. Breaking down the project into different stages and setting one freelancer or a set of freelancers in charge of each stage can help ensure that the project runs smoothly.

Openness

Communication is critical to the success of any project. You need to know when and how to communicate with your freelancers before, during and after their tasks. This will save you time and energy in following up reports and demanding changes.

You can set regular monthly meetings in Skype or any other platform to keep track of your project’s milestones. Requiring your freelancers to create daily or weekly reports can also make you more aware of the progress of the project. From time to time, do an update on your goals and provide feedbacks to motivate your freelancers to do better. You can also encourage participation by asking for their opinions once in a while.

Clarity

Before you even let your freelancers start with the project, make sure you are clear about what you want and when you expect to have it. Give as much information to your freelancers as possible to eliminate confusions and frustrations along the way. Sketch out your deliverables and include the names of the people who will be in charge of completing them. It can also help if you can be clear about what criteria you’ll be using to measure their results.

managing freelancers

Handing out content briefs for your writers, for example, is one good way to ensure that they create optimum articles that will match your site. You can also create spreadsheets, video tutorials and presentations to make tasks even clearer.

See Also: 5 Steps to Do Less in Life

Conclusion

Freelancers, no matter what their expertise are, can greatly help you reach your business goals with less stress and hassle. Although the process can require a bit of work, particularly during the initial stages, completing your to-do list should be a breeze once you’ve set your eyes on the most qualified individuals. The key thing is to outsource from the best hiring platform and manage your freelancers in a way that would encourage them to grow professionally

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What Is Your Dominant Desire Based On What You See?

Another test based on our sight and on the perception of the reality. This time is about what we want most; our secret desire, the one that influences our minds without us even realizing it. The one that makes us see what we want to see.

Can you tell what it is in your case? Have you ever thought about it? Let’s see how good do you know yourself!

dominant_desireTake now this quick, easy and fun quiz and find out what is your dominant desire based on what you see.

What Is Your Dominant Desire Based On What You See?

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Leave a comment below to tell us what you’ve got!

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7 Easy Tips on How to Get the Perfect Nap

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Have you heard of the perfect nap?

It’s not uncommon for people to feel sleepy during the day. And this is actually regardless of whether one had enough sleep the night before or not. It can happen while you’re at work or even at school.

Although you can fight sleepiness with a cup of coffee, research proves that napping is actually the better solution.

Here’s a quick rundown of the most common benefits of taking power naps.

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Reduces Stress and Anxiety

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Stress and anxiety can affect your performance and productivity. Research proves that getting enough sleep can help you reduce both. Aside from ensuring that you get enough sleep at night, taking quick naps can be very beneficial to you as well.

Increases Productivity

It’s easy to think that taking 20 minutes from your work time for a nap can affect your productivity. On the contrary, however, it’s actually the exact opposite.

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Taking a short nap can help improve your response time and creativity. It can also reduce your errors at work and boost your overall productivity.

Improves Memory

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You’ve probably already met people who tend to sleep over something so that they can easily remember it. Although the idea may sound absurd, research suggests that taking a nap can actually boost a person’s memory.

A nap can’t only improve your ability to retain information; it can also help you assimilate new data.

Controls Weight

Ghrelin hormone is what makes people crave for certain foods. It’s mainly triggered by lack of sleep. If you want to resist your food cravings and control your hunger, taking frequent short naps might do the trick.

Lowers Blood Pressure

High blood pressure affects millions of people across the globe. Although there are medicines and  treatments available to control the condition, taking a simple nap can also be very useful. According to scientists and medical professionals, taking a 45 minute nap can significantly reduce a person’s blood pressure.

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If you are struggling to get the perfect nap, here are some of the things you can try:

TIPS FOR A PERFECT NAP

#1 Prepare Yourself Psychologically

Napping doesn’t always mean you’re lazy. If you have any doubts or you feel like you’re doing something wrong when dozing off in the afternoon, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to get the most out of it.

#2 Choose the Correct Time to Nap

The best times to nap is late in the morning or just after lunch. Napping late in the afternoon can only throw you into a deep sleep, which can leave you groggy. It can also take up a lot of your time and decrease your productivity.

#3 Time Yourself

A perfect nap should last between 20 and 25 minutes.  Because of this, it’s essential that you have an alarm clock near you so you don’t oversleep.

Drinking a cup of coffee before napping helps, too. Since the effects of caffeine usually kick in after about 20 minutes, it should help you wake up quickly.

coffee before a nap

See Also: How to Supercharge Your Afternoon With a Napuccino (aka a Coffee Nap)

#4 Find a Good Location

A nap might be short, but you still need to choose the right place to have it. You should find a place that is clean and quiet, where there are no passersby or ringing phones to distract you.

#5 Keep the Lights Out

Turning off any light sources in the office and drawing the blinds will make it easy for you to sleep. However, if these things aren’t possible, then a sleep mask can come in handy. It’s comfortable to wear but very effective in keeping out the light.

#6 Lie Down

It can take 50% longer for you to fall asleep when you’re in an upright position. Unfortunately, however, you don’t always get to lie down when you’re in the office or at school.

napping position

If you can’t lie down, just assume any position you’re comfortable with. It’s essentially the key to getting the perfect nap.

#7 Come up With a Schedule

Scheduling your rest is important if you want to get the most out of it. Once you’re able to come up with a schedule, make it a point to follow it consistently.

See Also: How to Boost your Afternoon Energy with a Power Nap

CONCLUSION

A 20-minute nap a day can have tremendous effects on your health and work performance. It might feel a bit awkward at first, particularly if you’re not used to it. However, with its list of benefits, getting the perfect nap is a must-do in  your daily routine.

How do you get yourself to take a power nap? Do you have any other tricks to make napping easier?

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6 Reasons Why You’re Being Mistreated By The People Who Love You

Why did he just do what he did? Why on earth would she say that to me? What was that all about? Ever find yourself asking some of these questions and maybe others because of something someone just did or said to you. And not just anyone, but someone who claims to love you. It’s often said that the people who are closest to us, or the ones who love us, are usually the first ones to hurt us. Funny how that works.

Why though, if they love us, do they continually mistreat us? These are the people who we should be able to go to no matter what, and trust wholeheartedly. But we can’t, and we don’t. We find ourselves lashing out to them or to others about them and the horrible way they are treating us. So why does this happen and when does this vicious cycle ever stop. Below are a few reasons why this might be happening.

stale_relationshipJealousy.

Topping off the list is jealousy and for good reason. Most people who love us really are secretly jealous of us for whatever reason. Some reasons, in their mind, are valid, others are just plain ridiculous. No one ever needs to be jealous of anyone else. We are all very gifted and special in our own ways. However, with that said, you may have something they want which results in them lashing out at you.

Resentment.

Much like jealousy but with a bit of an angry twist to it, they just may be harbouring ill feelings towards you about something from the past. For any of us, if we don’t resolve issues from our past, they will continually creep up and bite us in the arse. When doing this, it often is someone else’s arse they are chewing on too. Figure out where the anger comes from and maybe it can be diffused in the future.

Submissive.

You are way too submissive and many bullies or angry people will gladly take advantage of you simply because they can. You are their dart board, their angry venting board. They can yell, snap, disrespect and treat you poorly because you let it happen and let it go. They will always gravitate to you as an easy target. For some submissive people, this rolls off their back like water on a duck, for others, it’s painful.

Dislike.

They really just don’t like you, period. There is no easy way around this one. If you are a family member and they really dislike you, you’re pretty much doomed until you decide to distance yourself from this person and surprisingly, many people won’t because it’s family. We think because Jane is our sister or Tom is our brother we have to put up with them and their mistreatment. You don’t. Stay away from them until they learn respect.

Bullies.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have motives, others just do it because they can get away with it. careful of the bully with motives. They will mistreat you because they think they can get something out of you and they will continue to be mean to you until you cave in and give them what they want. Learn to say no to this person and stand your ground. They’ll eventually back down and away.

Angry.

Some people are just angry. Plain and simple. They are angry at the government, angry at their spouse, angry at the weather, you name it, this person is pissed off. These are the ones who lash out for no reason and could not care less about doing it either. I mean, the world owes them, right? There is little anyone can do to help the angry person. It’s best to just stay away from this one until they recognize the anger in them.

Though these reasons don’t justify their actions it certainly helps to put things into a bit of perspective so we know better in the future how to handle the mistreatment and to try to come from a place of love and understanding. It’s still important to stand your ground and say no to this treatment and let them know, under no circumstances, is it acceptable. They’ll catch on eventually.

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How to Trick Your Brain to Stop Procrastinating The Really Scary Stuff

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Do you know why you can’t stop procrastinating the really scary stuff- despite all your good intentions?

It’s because the classic anti-procrastination tip just doesn’t work on them. It works on easier things,  like those things that are only a little uncomfortable. Take, for example, decluttering your bedroom.

But, when it comes to the really important stuff, such as the ones that are life changing and take a lot of commitment, the classic tips cease to be effective at all. This mostly happens with important milestones in your life, like quitting your job to start your dream business, losing weight, or writing the book you’ve had in mind for ten years.

It’s like cutting down a tree in a really thick black forest. You know you have to do it but you find a lot of excuses not to.

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It’s really difficult, right?

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There’s something about feeling ‘scared’ that makes us not to want to have anything to do with it. And there’s another good reason- pain.

We’re inclined to do things that can give us pleasure, while we run away from the things we know can give us pain. We’d rather choose the pleasure of today even if it’ll cause us pain tomorrow. We’d rather deny the pain of today even if we know we’ll get great pleasure from it in the future.

Think about it this way:

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If the promise of pleasure is greater than the promise of pain, you tend to act immediately. But, if it is the other way round, you procrastinate.

So, do you know how to quit procrastinating?

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Easy. You have to break this pattern.

Here are the secret ways you can trick your brain:

Put things into perspective

Learn to recognize the pain that’s holding you back and the pleasure you derive from being held back. You can ask yourself the short-term and long-term discomforts you have to endure if you don’t take action now.

See Also: 3 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Live The Life Of Your Dreams

Think about the stress and lack of peace of mind. Anticipate the feeling of disappointment in yourself and the long-term pain of watching your dreams go down the drain. Imagine financial failure, lack of self-fulfillment and even depression.

Establish accountability

Sometimes, the idea of a loss or failure can be enough motivation to pull you off of your comfortable couch.

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Imagine that you have a good book to finish. If you’ve been putting off writing that book, you might miss your deadline. There’s the pain of possible rejection and the fear of not being able to finish it on time. You can get laid off from work and you might not even get paid for the earlier work done.

Anticipate the pleasure

Aside from thinking about the negative effects of procrastinating, another good motivator is the reward you’ll receive after getting the work done. While working, ask yourself what pleasure you can derive from it.

If you’re aiming for a promotion, now’s the right time to act on it. If you’re planning on taking a vacation, you should start working on your project right now- so you can have enough time to prepare for your trip. Just think about the pleasant activities you can enjoy once the hard tasks are done and you’ll feel instantly motivated.

vacation

Compare and contrast

Compare the pain of taking action now and the pain of procrastination. Then, compare the pleasure you’ll derive by taking action now and the pleasure you’ll get from procrastinating.

If you’re having a hard time picturing these things in your mind, it’s a good idea if you can write them down. List down the pros and cons of delaying the task. You can also sketch down its negative and positive effects.

to do list

Seeing these things on paper can help train your mind into going into action. The more you condition your mind, the more likely you’ll defeat procrastination.

See Also: Five Things To Do Right Now To Stop Procrastinating

How do you beat procrastination? What do you do to get yourself to move?

 

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