Do you want to know how to live the life of your dreams?

One goal that nearly all people have in common is living a wonderful life. The word wonderful may be interpreted differently by each person, but still, it always has something to do with how you imagined you would live your life.

Unfortunately, only a few amongst us will actually live the life they wanted for themselves. It’s not that other people don’t want to live the life of their dreams badly enough. It’s just that they’re doing certain things that are holding them back in life.

First of all, you need to accept that your current situation isn’t the way you want to live the rest of your life. By doing this you’re making room for improvement. After you’ve done that, you can find out what is holding you back in life.

I’ve created a list where I identified the three things that were holding me back from living my life. By sharing this with you, I hope that it will save you a lot of time and that you can apply it directly to your life.

See Also: How to Realize Your Dreams Even If You Don’t Know How to Get There

So lets find out if what’s holding you back from living the life of your dreams and how you can fix it.

1. Sitting on the couch

People will give you so many reasons about why they aren’t able to do something. Most of those reasons are just excuses. They excel in procrastination, which is arguably the biggest killer of your dreams. It lets you keep on thinking that you have enough time to do what you want do. Meanwhile the time ticks away and you’re still at the same place where you were 5 years ago..

These lazy procrastinating people are always complaining about what they could have been doing if they didn’t ‘suffer’ from x in life or if they didn’t lack x in life. You can’t complain and hoping things will get better.

What you need is a vision and motivation for your life, because at the end of the day, these people want to achieve their dreams too, but they just don’t know where and how to start.

Find out why you’re procrastinating and find out what really motivates you to take action. The best motivation to accomplish anything in life comes from the deep desires in your heart & mind.

When you know what you desire and you remind yourself everyday of it, your productivity and execution level will take on forms you’d never expect of yourself.

See Also: 16 Excuses that Prevent You from Going After Your Dreams

2. Overthinking about what others may think of you

One of the worst things you can do in life is trying to please everybody and to care about what everybody will think of you. Not only does it cause anxiety, but it also works like a paralyzer. You’ll feel scared to step out of your comfort zone, because you’ll fear to be scrutinized and judged by your family, friends or maybe even people you don’t know.

When you stop getting out of your comfort zone, not only will you deprive yourself of the opportunity to do new and exciting things, but you’re also letting them determine how you’ll live your life. There isn’t a particular key to living the life of your dreams. But, trying to please everyone is most definitely not one of them.

It’s normal to care about what others may think of you. I’m not telling you to shut it all out and to never ever listen to what someone else says about you. Listen to them and let them know that you accept their opinion for what it is.

However, don’t let the opinions of others influence the course of your life. Don’t stop doing something just because it’ll be frowned upon. As long as you’re not negatively affecting others, you should do things your own way according to your plan.

See Also: 5 Practical Keys to Living The Life of Your Dreams

3. Focusing on the negative side of things

Most people have the awful tendency to always look at the downside of things. When a challenge comes up in their lives, the first thing they start to talk about is how difficult it is to overcome it and that they never faced something like this before in their lives.

Sometimes, people even do something more unbelievable and manage to find the bad in something positive. They actually don’t realize how negative and pessimistic their attitudes towards life are.

The best way to overcome a negative attitude is to stop denying it and to accept the fact that you’re much more negative in life than you can realize. This may be difficult to accept because no one wants to be a negative person. However, the acceptance part is the most difficult and once you’ve done it successfully, you’ve opened the way to change.

The second part would be finding out why’re always so salty and acting like a ‘know it all’. For example, is it a defense mechanism against your own insecurities or do you like to be negative and if so, why? Asking yourself these questions will help you find out how you can change your perspective from a negative into a neutral one.

We often blame external things for the things that we lack in life. This is a big misconception in our society. We’re actually really fortunate with the fact thtat it isn’t usually external variables that prevent us from living the life of our dreams, but the internal things.

We can change our internal situation. We have the power to take control over our life and to shape our life in the ways that we want to create the life of our dreams. So quit looking for excuses and start looking for improvements.

What is holding you back from living the life of your dreams?

The post 3 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Live The Life Of Your Dreams appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

http://ift.tt/29ySXZQ

Early in life, I learned to view my body as a sort of prison. While other little girls spent time playing and living carefree young lives, I struggled my way through ballet class– attempting to forcefully train my body to be graceful, obedient, and beautiful. Through my journey from student to professional, no matter my efforts, no matter how low my weight, or expertly I executed choreography, I never felt it was enough.

At the root of it all, I felt that my body held me back. “If I’d only been born with narrower shoulders, higher arched feet, longer legs,” I dreamed, “I would be better and do better. My life would somehow be easier”, I thought.

My soul was that of an artist, choosing dance as the medium within which to come alive, but my very human body never seemed good enough to match the ambitions I held for my dance career.

Over time, I began to resent the body I was born with, feeling limited by the “hand I’d been dealt”. I realized that while I couldn’t control the body I was given at birth, I could control how I operated it– working harder, training longer, and being as skinny as possible in order to be the best dancer I could be.

Eyes firmly on the goal to curate my identity as professional ballerina, I adopted so many ways to control, shape, and demand from my body. I used this discipline to transcend and ignore my basic human needs for rest and food– in true “no pain, no gain” fashion.

These habits served me fairly well, or so I thought, until my first major injury at age 29 forced me to take some time away from the stage in order to heal. Forced to truly partner with my body (instead of dominating and controlling) for the first time in my life, I began a continually unfolding journey of healing and awakening, coming back home to myself.

When I began to understand that my body was something to respect and honor– that I had limits and finite energy that had to be acknowledged—and began acting as such, I realized that my body was an extension of me, my soul made flesh. I realized that my one, greatest responsibility in life was caring for this body every day, because she is my home in this lifetime.

Embodying this realization meant no more excuses, no more blurred boundaries with others, no crappy, convenient, or emotionally-charged food choices. It was time to go beyond the surface level frustrations I held and tap into what really mattered most.

I realized essentially that to hate my body was to, in fact, hate myself. And when I realized just how much I had been unconsciously hating myself all those years, I was heart-broken. I resolved to return to myself– treating myself as a loved one each moment. Creating love, peace, calm and strength from within, first.

Here are a few of the tools I used:

I studied my unique, individual body.

Not the body, but my body, learning which foods, relationships, activities and movement helped me to feel good vs. relying on mass (confusing) opinions about what worked and what didn’t. When I got to the roots of what my particular body wanted and needed to thrive, my relationship to food changed drastically, I started taking more time for myself and releasing relationships and things that no longer served me. Most importantly, I became more confident about my body and within my life.

I stopped torturing my body with exercise I hated and found movement I loved.

As a dancer, I was taught to “suck it up” and push through intense pain on a daily basis. This meant smiling beautifully– tutu and tiara in tow– regardless of whether my feet were bleeding in my pointe shoes, or my muscles ached and burned from exhaustion.

Ballet requires fierce determination, training, and skill. Pushing is required. But so is listening to the body and acknowledging the body’s limitations.

When I committed to doing things differently—with honor and respect for my body– I realized I seriously disliked most of the ways I’d been keeping myself in shape. As I began to explore different types of movement that felt great to me, I created space to witness, in awe, all that my body was capable of.

It took time for me to release these patterns of forcing and pushing, but came to find out, both my body and I do much better with a gentler approach.

See Also: Self-Acceptance: The Key To True Happiness

I healed my relationship to food and healed my body in the process.

Like many of my clients, I was constantly confused and frustrated in my relationship to food. I never knew what to eat (or what not to eat) and I struggled with consistency and emotionally charged eating.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I also suffered from a lifetime of food allergies that left me feeling bloated, ill and lethargic regularly. By returning food to its rightful role in my life—as fuel, nourishment, and a source of healing instead of comfort, stress-relief, or a mindless sport—I began to witness my body change.

My digestion healed, my weight stabilized, my energy increased, and my skin became clear for the first time in my life. By eliminating the foods and eating habits that plagued me, I was able to focus more fully on what I wanted in life. I finally felt healthy and strong and had the energy and vitality to do more than just constantly obsess over food.

I released obligations, relationships and things that no longer served me.

Most women are chronic “over-givers”. Our time, energy, and nurturance often go toward everything and everyone else except ourselves.

Recognizing that I needed to make some serious changes in my life starting with my relationship to myself, I knew I had to make my own well-being a priority. Not out of selfishness or laziness, but out of self-love and self-respect.

I implemented stronger boundaries on my time, saying no more frequently and made downtime, relaxation and stress management necessary components of each day instead of occasional luxuries to be had when everything else was complete. Subsequently, I released those people, relationships, and commitments that no longer served me or left me feeling drained. I made the activities and relationships I needed to feel incredible in my life mandatory priorities.

I transformed my inner dialogue.

As a dancer, I thought I was happy and healthy because I was thin and active, but my inner world anything but. I was uncomfortable in my skin and felt like something was missing from my life.

The more I studied holistic well-being, the more I realized that true health goes much deeper than yoga, quinoa and size 2 jeans. If I was cruel and cold to myself internally, no amount of green juice or Pilates would change that (and I love green juice and Pilates!). I had to change the way I spoke to and related to myself on a fundamental level in order for things to really shift.

Once I began to treat myself like a loved one, I flourished in all areas of my life and became more consistent in my habits from a place of devotion vs. rigidity.

See Also: 11 Simple Ways to Fall in Love With Yourself

I started relating to my body as a “she” not an “it”.

When I began to see my body as a living, breathing, female animal with needs all her own– instead of a disobedient beast that held me back from what I really wanted– it became difficult for me to refer to my body as an inanimate object, an “it”. If I could acknowledge my pets for their innate being-ness with pronouns like “he” or “she”, but not my body, there was a serious disconnect happening. As I changed this one, simple way of referring to myself, I began to see that my body was truly my best friend, supporting and carrying me through each day like a loyal companion who deserved love, honor, and respect.

As my relationship to my body healed, I began to think of my lineage– my mother, my grandmother, and women and children of future generations. How would their lives be different if they were taught to honor and respect their bodies from the beginning? To feed themselves exquisite food as fuel vs. stuff themselves out of boredom, for comfort, or as a way to soothe painful emotions? If women came to love the bodies they call home—these miraculous creatures we’re entrusted with care of—what would that change in our world?

Our bodies are our windows to life. When we are overweight, sick, tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and downright abusive to ourselves, it seriously inhibits the way we show up in the world. Most women are taught that their bodies are flawed. They receive images in media, comments from others and other constant reminders of all the ways in which they don’t add up, but it’s time for us to rewrite this story starting with ourselves.

It is my deepest belief that when a woman loves the body she calls home, she embraces her power to create the life she was born to live.

I am living proof of this as are the hundreds of women I’ve worked with in my Nutrition & Lifestyle Coaching practice. I am consistently inspired and amazed when women take these lessons to heart and I’ve seen lives heal and change in major ways as a result of reconnecting to their amazing bodies.
I invite you to love the body you call home.

The post A Ballerina’s Story: How I Learned To Love My Body After Years Of Hating It appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

http://ift.tt/29rl0hY

Are you needing tips in choosing a restaurant for a date?

You’re out to impress. You invite your partner to meet you at a hot new restaurant in town for a romantic date after work. On the night, you drive into town only to find few car parking options. You shell out $50 to park the car and then sprint to the restaurant which is 2 km away — uphill.

Your partner is waiting on the street for you to arrive. The line for the restaurant is about 50 people long and extends upstairs and out of sight. You resign to joining the end of the line and both of you pull out your phones for entertainment during the wait.

Thirty minutes later, the line of man-bun wearing hipsters has disappeared and you are finally face to face with the maître-d’. “Thirty-minute wait for a table. You can wait in the bar or give us your mobile number”.

You opt for the bar wait and ask for a menu. A quick scan reveals that there’s not much on offer to suit your partner’s food intolerances. At this point, the night is a massive fail. You abandon the restaurant and grab noodles from a place down the street.

How to avoid a date fail?

Research and planning are key to avoiding the dinner date fail. Let’s assume you are officially a couple and this is not a date with a Tinderella or a Tinderfella (choosing a venue for a blind date is a whole other story).

First, let’s avoid having to call an ambulance because your partner is turning blue at the table – that’s never romantic. Find out what type of food your date is allergic to, doesn’t like, or doesn’t eat due to religious, ethical or other reasons. (You might want to write them down if the list is long for future reference.)

Already feeling stressed? Hang in there, you can do this!

A restaurant with special meaning for both of you is always a good choice. Otherwise, ask around for restaurant recommendations, check TripAdvisor, the restaurant guide of your local newspaper and any other sources you like.

Tip: In the desktop version of tripadvisor.com, there’s a ‘romantic’ filter for restaurants that you can apply to the search results. Unfortunately, it’s not available in the mobile app version.

Once you’ve narrowed down the list, check out online information about the restaurants on your short list. You might have to call the restaurant (like, speak to a real person) as well.

Here’s what you should check out in choosing a restaurant for a date:

The menu – can you eat it… and can you pay for it?

Does the menu cater for any dietary requirements you and/or your partner have? Does it have enough options that you will both like? Does the drinks list offer a range of choices (and not just beer)? If your partner is a foodie then somewhere with a degustation menu will be a winner – all those delicious little morsels that just keep on coming. If your partner is vegan then avoid the BBQ joints (just a tip!).

Do check the prices beforehand. You don’t want to blow your budget on one meal and regret it until the next pay day. An expensive restaurant is not necessarily a romantic one. Show that you’ve put more thought into it than just choosing the most expensive place in town.

Effort = Romantic.

See Also: 7 Ways To Inject Romance Into Your Relationship

Avoid the no-bookings policy

The whole no-bookings thing that’s popular with new restaurants is to be avoided. Making a booking is essential to a successful evening. You don’t want a long wait before being seated or get there to find you’ve got no chance of getting a table.

Consider the night of the week

Which nights of the week is the restaurant open? Lots of restaurants are closed on Mondays so your choices will be less. Tuesday is a quiet night and you might get better service (but balance this with potentially being the only ones in the restaurant). A Friday or Saturday night might be more relaxed, without the thought of work the next day, but the restaurant might be crowded and noisy.

See Also: The Role of Karma in Your Relationships

Interior design – what to look for

Table density

Look at photos of the restaurant. Are the tables so close together that you’ll be part of the conversation with the people next to you? Awkward. Look for somewhere with tables that are well spaced. A corner table is ideal. Never the large communal table.

Women, in particular, like to have a wall behind them. Apparently it’s some deep seated need to feel like no-one can sneak up behind them. A cosy corner with at least one bench seat is ideal.

Noise

The currently popular industrial design trend means lots of hard surfaces and lots of noise, which makes conversation difficult. Choose somewhere with furnishings and fittings that absorb noise. You are looking for upholstered chairs, carpet or wooden flooring (not concrete or tile) and maybe drapes. Do a Google image search for the restaurant and have a look at the photos. Also check TripAdvisor for comments about the place being noisy.

Lighting

Everyone benefits from soft lighting. Avoid restaurants with harsh fluoro strips that make you look like a zombie, fresh out of the grave. Refer to photos online and note the lighting.

A view

If you think there might be awkward silences, then choose a restaurant that offers something to look at other than each other. A nice view or a busy street scape is ideal. Avoid live music or theatre restaurants where the noise level will prevent flowing conversation.

If you want to really minimise the risk of a doomed date, then visit the restaurant beforehand (and about the same time of day as you’ll be dining) and check it out.

Service

Good service is essential. You don’t want to leave the restaurant in a bad mood after waiting an hour between courses or having to ask three times for another drink. Check out the online reviews for descriptions of the service. And be nice to the wait staff during your meal – they can make or break your date.

Getting there… and home again

Think about transport. If you are arriving separately then choose somewhere with a bar (or one nearby) that the first person can wait in if the second is running late. Check out parking or public transport options beforehand (don’t get stung with the night-spoiling parking fees mentioned earlier). If you plan to drink then check Uber to make sure there are plenty of drivers cruising the area.

There, that was painless wasn’t it? The good news is that you’ve probably got a list of great restaurants that will be suitable for a romantic dinner—a list you can keep handy for next time. The even better news is that you should have a wonderful night with your date.

The post Tips In Choosing A Restaurant For A Romantic Date appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

http://ift.tt/29uJGCD