It’s three a.m., and you are up, rolling around, trying desperately to get some good sleep. But, your body is just saying NO!!!!!

We have all been there, especially me (during my paranoid time that I had schizophrenia, high-school state.) And the truth is, it probably is in our best interest to ensure that we aren’t making these five mistakes anymore.

For those who want some enlightenment, here is what keeps you awake at night.

1. Over Caffeinating Too Late

I, like any sane other human being, am a lover of caffeine and I’m sure you are too. Which means a couple of things.

We probably have a cup every morning. We might have a cup every noon. And we might be drinking way too much caffeine.

Caffeine is an amazing drug for the brain, helping to increase cellular metabolism, dull adenosine receptors, and all together cultivate a feeling of wakefulness. Plus, coffee is just so amazing that sometimes I wish that I could put a ring on it (okay not really.)

But, with the dulling of adenosine receptors (the reason you feel wired on caffeine) comes a problem that can seriously interfere with sleep. A decrease in the production of the neurotransmitter that helps us fall asleep, melatonin and with it the feeling of wakefulness.

Caffeine has a half-life of 8 hours (on average) and so when you have that last cup at four or five in the evening, odds are you will start to lose some of that precious sleep (or at least the quality) that you need.

*Rule 1: No Caffeine after 2 p.m.

2. Blue Light and Your Eyes

I know I know, you probably hear all the time not to be on your phone during bed anymore. And that is the truth.

So why aren’t you listening?

I have done it, and I do it still (because I use a bit of a hack), but you could be getting a lot more peaceful rest just by stopping the electronics 1-2 hours before bed. The blue light was initially only emitted by the sun, helping your body get rid of the melatonin in the bloodstream and start to get you ready for the day. Although, now LED lighting and every piece of electronic we have is always disrupting our production of melatonin.

The fact of the matter is, studies are showing blue light results in a decrease of half of the melatonin you could be producing every night and with it a disruption of how long it is in the bloodstream. That means worse sleep and less sleep. Two things we don’t want.

But, I have a little trick.

Blue light blocking glasses (only $10 on Amazon) block almost all of the harmful light and allow you to peruse the internet still after dark.

*Rule 2: Either Cut Electronics or Supplement With Blue Light

See Also: 4 Benefits of Mind Dumping to Help You Sleep

3. Keeping Light In Your Room

Again with light.

We need to get all of it out of the room when we sleep. Think about what it feels like having a light beam down on you, even with your eyes shut.

Remember when we were kids and outside glaring at the sun, we would close our eyes only to have still illuminated eyelids that project enough to “see” light? Well, that is exactly what happens when you continue to keep a light in your room.

Your mind and body don’t want to relax and fall asleep because there is light. Us humans are groomed to be awake when it is light. The presence of light in your room may be what keeps you awake at night.

There are many options to get rid of all the light.

• Use a sleep mask
• Get blackout curtains
• Cover your windows with garbage bags

These solutions are simple but will seriously skyrocket your sleep through the roof.

*Rule 3: Sleep In Total Darkness

4. Exercising Too Late

What happens when you go for a run? You are probably wound up and ready to go literally.

We are very adaptable creatures, able to fight or flight in a second and running is quite literally flight. Your parasympathetic nervous system controls rest and digests while your sympathetic controls fight or flight. By running, you turn on your sympathetic and off your parasympathetic. This means your body is pumping adrenaline, cortisol and a whole host of stress hormones that keep you primed and wired for anything.

Now coming home and trying to get a good night sleep can seem impossible. We toss and turn, and it seems like something is wrong, while we can’t pinpoint it. As the stress hormones are depleted in the system, we slowly come down from that runner’s high and can get rest.

By pushing your workout earlier in the day, you will have already come down and will be amazingly primed for sleep.

*Rule 4: Exercise earlier in the day

5. Not Keeping It Cool

I hope you didn’t grow up in a household that wouldn’t ever touch the air conditioning. In the summer, it seemed like it was always scorching hot, while in the winter cold. This can be a traumatic point to our sleep.

The human body sleeps optimally at between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit (3). Too hot and we are up all night, too cold and well we are freezing.

We know that feeling of having an insanely hot room, or how about when camping, where it seems like you are sweating enough to fill a pool and getting zero sleep. And that is something that shouldn’t happen to us ever again.

So keep it cool.

*Rule 5: Keep the AC between 62 and 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

See Also: The Best Way to End The Day: 5 Things to Do Before You Go to Sleep 

Now that you know what keeps you awake at night, avoding these 5 mistakes should help you finally get some good sleep.

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Do you need to learn how to accept yourself?

In middle school and high school I struggled with finding my identity. I was convinced that I was ugly, stupid, and worthless. I continually thought that to truly love myself and be happy, I had to basically become a different person.

Throughout this time I made major changes to myself. I changed my hairstyle, got new clothes, and started to get in shape.

At first, it seemed to work. I was happier and seemed to be making more friends and getting more attention. As time passed by, though, I began to realize that I still didn’t love myself.

Although I had become the sort of person that I thought was worthy of love, I still didn’t believe that I was worthy of love.

I soon came to realize that changing things about myself did not change the way I felt about myself, so I began to search for a different solution. Over the past few months I have finally come to the realization that I don’t have to become lovable, I already am. I don’t have to be good enough for people to like me, I just have to be me.

This belief that you are worthy of love just the way you are is known as self-acceptance.

What is Self-Acceptance?

Self-acceptance is not the same as self-esteem. While self-esteem focuses on how valuable you see yourself as, self-acceptance takes a slightly different route.

According to thefreedictionary.com self-acceptance can be defined as, “an acceptance of yourself as you are, warts and all”.

When someone accepts themselves, they accept all facets of themselves. The good, the bad, and even the ugly. When we are self-accepting, we learn to even love our flaws.

How does our Self-Acceptance Influence our Happiness?

Now that we’ve defined self-acceptance, you might still be asking: how exactly does self-acceptance impact our happiness?

Well, according to Robert Holden, author of Happiness Now!:

“Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand. In fact, your level of self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more self-acceptance you have, the more happiness you’ll allow yourself to accept, receive and enjoy. In other words, you enjoy as much happiness as you believe you’re worthy of.”

So basically: self-acceptance = happiness

If you accept yourself you are inevitably setting yourself up to be happy.

One the most important aspect of self-acceptance is that it is unconditional. Very often we only love ourselves when we are doing well or when we accomplish a goal.

Self-acceptance, on the other hand, teaches us that we should love ourselves no matter what. Even if we fail or make a mistake, we are still valuable. This, in turn, allows our happiness to be unconditional as well. Our joy is not based on whether or not someone likes us. It is based on who we are, not what we do or how people perceive us.

How to Accept Yourself

Now you know what self-acceptance is and that it directly influences our happiness, but how to we develop self-acceptance?

Like any other skill, self-acceptance is something that we build up over time. Many people are taught to accept themselves at a young age and never struggle to be self-compassionate. Others of us are constantly struggling to love ourselves for who we are.

We are all at different levels of self-acceptance and some of us will be able to learn it faster than others.

There are many guided meditation practices that center on the theme of self-acceptance. While meditation in and of itself will likely lead you to an acceptance of yourself, guided practices will likely help more.

For great guided meditations about self-acceptance and other topics, I highly recommend Calm for iOS and Android. You can also access these guided meditations on Calm’s website.

A second way to help generate acceptance for yourself is to change the way you think. Our thoughts are ultimately what controls our perception of ourselves. They are the root cause of our lack of self-acceptance and often the only thing keeping us from being happy.

Many of us that struggle with self-acceptance are plagued with negative thoughts. Psychologist often refer to this as our inner critic. Our inner critic is that voice inside that is constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough. It tells you that you’re unattractive or inadequate.

A helpful way to combat this inner critic is to actually engage with it in conversation. This is a tip I learned in Dr. Aziz Gazipura’s book the Solution to Social Anxiety.

Let’s say you just you turned in a business report to your boss and he rejected it. Your inner critic will likely start acting up. To have control of your critic, address it as if it were an actual person:

Critic: Wow you really screwed up this time. I told you he’d reject it. You’re terrible at what you do.

You: Actually, I think I did a pretty good job on my report. Maybe it was just not what my boss was looking for.

Critic: Maybe? I know it wasn’t what he was looking for. The entire report was crap. Have fun with getting fired.

You: Fired? You are making lots of assumptions. Why are you so angry? Did you get fired from your job recently or something?

This type of dialogue is extremely therapeutic. It is most helpful when done at the exact time that your critic is acting up, or at least shortly after a negative experience. These conversations are best had in written form and should be kept in a journal.

These are just two of many ways that you can begin to build up your self-acceptance.

It is important to remember that you path to self-acceptance is a journey. You will have setbacks along the way but you’ll make progress as long as you stay persistent.

Self-acceptance is a beautiful thing. Practicing it will bring you happiness and will make you less vulnerable when facing criticism.

If you need a reminder on how to accept yourself, I would like to share a quote from Amy Bloom:

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”

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