You’ve been waiting for that apology for forever. Why can’t they just admit they were wrong and say sorry? Why does it always have to be this hard? It has never been hard for you to swallow your pride when necessary, admit to your error and say sorry. You just wish more people would be like you. Chances are, you may never hear them say I’m sorry.

Apologizing comes easy for some and not at all for others. For those of us who are quick to apologize we simply don’t get the ones who don’t and end up quite frustrated, annoyed and perhaps even slightly angered by the fact that they won’t. just say I’m sorry for goodness sakes. Why is it and how can it be so hard? Here are 6 reasons why you may never hear it and why you should just get used to it.

1. They’re not at fault.

Plain and simple. In their mind, they have done no wrong so why on earth should they apologize? You think and are pretty sure that they are at fault but they beg to differ. Don’t try arguing with them. Arguing with a fool only proves there are two. There is nothing you will ever be able to do about this. Let it go. Don’t waste your anger or energy on them. It’s not worth it and 9 times out of 10 it’s probably petty frivolous issues.

2. Pride and ego rule their world.

Many of us don’t like to say sorry. It means we are wrong and we know it. How can that be though? We’re never wrong. We are usually always right. They will want to think on this. Probably for so long that they secretly hope you have forgotten all about it by the time they realize that they were, in fact, wrong, and an apology is necessary. They just don’t want to say sorry.

3. Avoid it at all costs.

And because they don’t want to say sorry, they won’t. You or anyone else isn’ t going to bully them into an apology. It’s not how they are wired. Apologizing isn’t anything they ever had to do growing up either, and they aren’t about to start now as an adult. They will simply avoid the whole issue and pretend it doesn’t even exist. Most likely, as children, their parents made excuses constantly for their behaviour and they got away with every thing. They still do.

4. The floodgates have been opened.

Once they say sorry for one thing, suddenly all kinds of things are thrown on the table and more apologies will be expected from them. They prefer to leave the lid to Pandora’s box sealed tightly. Remember they aren’t in the habit of saying sorry and don’t want to have to start having all those remember when times thrown in their faces. They remember when but they would rather soon forget it and wish you would too. Let it be.

5. Emotionally void.

Saying sorry is showing pure and raw emotion. It means the person who is apologizing know what they did is wrong and they are terribly saddened by their actions and upset at themselves for hurting you. That is too many emotions for them to bear and show to you. They prefer to keep all that stuff bottled up. Showing emotion doesn’t come easy and it certainly won’t come through a form of an apology. Don’t hold your breath.

6. Actions speak louder than words.

For those who prefer to show you that they are sorry rather than say it, they will bring you gifts or show you more love or whatever they have in their toolbox for fixing broken hearts. They get what they did was wrong but they prefer to show you how sorry they are rather than say it. Some find this is a grander gesture and also slightly more romantic. To them, words mean nothing. When they are done adoring yo u, you will have no doubt they were sorry.

Saying sorry is genuinely hard for many people. Some may never say it. Others say it all the time. I’m a firm believer of the last point on here. Actions really do speak louder than words but if you clearly know what you did was wrong and it was really bad, just say sorry. The other person really does deserve an apology.

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Life is a funny thing isn’t it. Some people think life is hard, others think life is full of joy and easy. How can there be such a vast difference between two groups? Why is it that some say life really is hard, and how could it be that others think life is beautiful and easy and breezy? I think it all really boils down to perspective. Too many forget that we only have one life. This is it. The show is on. Are you still in rehearsal mode or are you living?

Life can be pretty scary too. There are big decisions to make almost on a daily basis and we really would much rather prefer someone else make those decisions for us. Here’s some other truths about life you really should know before you go passing over the reigns to someone else.

1. Your problems, you fix them.

Stop looking at others to fix your problems or your messes. You made them, you know how they started, you fix them and clean them up. No one has the answers for you, no matter how many people you ask. And no one knows what is the best fix for you or what is right for you. Only you do. Don’t wait for that magical person to fix your problems. That person is you.

2. Life is not hard. Life is not easy.

It’s perspective and how we view it. We are all dealt different hands. Some shittier than others. Some of us can make it through trials and difficulties, others of us might not be able to. Your attitude towards anything that happens to you in your life will set the stage for how you get on through life. You can have the why me attitude or the try me attitude. Either way, life is not hard or easy. It’s just life. You can make it hard or easy with the way you deal with things.

3. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Ever. Period. You’ve heard it a million times but you really need to let it sink in. We are all guilty of saying I’ll get to that tomorrow or one day we’ll do that or go there. There is no such thing as one day. Remove it from your vocabulary. It doesn’t exist. If you aren’t making plans to get to that one thing now, you will never do it. Go live life today, not tomorrow or one day. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do while you still can. You may not be able to do it tomorrow or, heaven forbid, you may not be here. Let’s not wait any longer.

4. You are here for ridiculous joy.

That’s all. You really are. You are here to love life and love what you do and the people around you and draw to you only the thin gs that bring you happiness and joy and pleasure. That is why you are here. You are not here to struggle or be miserable. If that is what is happening, you are drawing it to you, according to the universal law of attraction. You want joy, speak and feel only joy. You want misery, keep talking about sorrow, yesterday and misery. Watch what you speak. You are speaking your life into existence.

5. Help others.

Don’t be selfish. We are here as loving and helping beings on and nobody gets out alive. We are all here for the same thing. To live, laugh and love. All of us. Holding grudges or not helping your fellow man isn’t helping anyone, ever. The world is full of healers and lovers and world changers. We can all make a contribution to this. The more we help and love, the happier life and this world will be. Lend a helping hand, life is nicer that way.

This is it. One shot at life. It’s up to you to make it happy and beautiful, loving and whole or miserable and sad and full of angst and frustration. It’s all up to you. Your life, your decisions and your choices. Don’t expect happiness from people, places or things. It’s inside of you. Everything you need is already inside of you. Seek it.

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Contrary to what the contemporaries in Silicon Valley may have you believe, geography is not dead. Place matters. It matters now more than ever before. The expansion of digital technology has made our environment more, not less, relevant. Every day, corporations are paying large amounts of money for workshops designed to help their employees “think more creatively”. It’s a noble investment but one that will prove futile if the environment in which they work is not receptive to new ideas. The fact is creativity is always a response to our environment. It unfolds at the intersection of person and place. The success of Silicon Valley can’t be dwindled down to a replicable formula. It’s a culture. And if we want to cultivate creative cultures, we must begin by examining the characteristics of highly creative environments. Below I list 10 surprising characteristics of highly creative environments.

1. Creative environments celebrate risk.

For many corporations, this seems entirely counterintuitive. Think about it. We only hire applicants for jobs once we’ve determined that they’re the perfect fit. We only assign tasks to those who have already demonstrated that they can successfully perform them. We have a tendency to treat risk as something to be avoided at all costs, or at least reduced to a minimum. But the truth is, risk and creativity are inseparable. Creativity always comes at a price. Some people and places are simply more willing to pay that price than others.

2. Creative environments tolerate uncertainty and leave space for the unexpected.

Picasso was once asked if he knew what a painting was going to look like when he started it. He answered, “No, of course not. If I knew, I wouldn’t bother doing it.” Studies have found that the most creative environments have an especially high tolerance for uncertainty. You can tell a lot about a place by its relationship with surprise. Does it carve out space for the unexpected? Does it celebrate life’s small serendipities? Are miracles allowed?

3. Creative environments embrace failure and leave plenty of room for mistakes.

The idea that highly creative people get it “right” the first time and don’t make any mistakes is perhaps the greatest myth of creativity. In reality, creative people make more mistakes than the rest of us. This makes sense when we consider that the more shots we take at a target, the more likely we’ll eventually hit the bull’s eye (and the more misses we’ll accumulate, as well). Creative environments leave plenty of room for mistakes and they know how to fail. They keep failing until something works. They fail in a thoughtful and efficient manner. And perhaps most importantly, they fail early. Indeed, failure can be a wonderful learning experience as long as it’s in the aid of some continuing process.

4. Creative environments are chaotic.

For many of us, the word “chaos” has a false negative connotation. But chaos is actually the stuff that makes creative breakthroughs. Creativity craves chaos. The truly creative environment collaborates with chaos as a necessary source of stimulation. In fact, this is true for all of us. Our bodies and minds crave not only stimuli but complex and varied stimuli. It’s this sort of disorder that shakes up the status quo and provides the necessary room for a creative breakthrough.

5. Creative environments are diverse and interdisciplinary.

Creative breakthroughs are always the result of what psychologists call “mental cross-fertilization”. Highly creative environments intentionally bring people of different backgrounds and different experiences together. Much of creativity is about connecting the dots. Making connections where there previously were none. We collect dots in the company of others, but we connect the dots ourselves. An interdisciplinary, diverse environment inherently produces more dots and also different kinds of dots.

6. Creative environments are active.

Think of how many times you’ve had an epiphany while riding in the car, or on an airplane. Something about motion triggers creative thoughts. Darwin’s theory of evolution came together while he was riding in the back of a carriage. Mark Twain was notorious for pacing his study. Mozart always traveled with scraps of paper tucked into his side pocket. Creativity requires kinetic energy.  As the saying goes, “I have never heard of anyone stumbling upon something while sitting down.”

7. Creative environments are comprised of weak ties.

The phenomenon of weak ties was first recognized by sociologist Mark Granovetter. What we think of as weak ties (acquaintances, coworkers, ect.) are actually incredibly powerful when it comes to creativity. Not only are we more likely to learn something new from a weak tie but a weak tie is also more likely to come from a different background than our own. Strong ties (family, close friends, ect.) can make us feel good and often provide a sense of belonging, but they also constrict our worldview. A group with strong ties is much more likely to engage in “Groupthink” than one with weak ties. Highly creative environments are comprised of weak ties. They allow people to insert themselves into networks easily and extract themselves with equal ease. It’s not people’s attachment to the place but their lack of attachment that cultivates the most creativity.

8. Creative environments have high levels of trust and intimacy.

Despite being comprised of weak ties, creative environments display high levels of trust and intimacy. Intimacy always includes a degree of trust. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to share their original ideas and opinions. When they feel trusted, they’re more likely to act upon these. And when they feel valued, they’re more likely to continue to contribute in new, innovative ways. Today, the cities and companies that excel creatively are those where trust and intimacy are high.

9. Creative environments offer attentive, discerning audiences.

Creativity and the recognition of creativity are inseparable. You can’t have one without the other. Likewise, creative breakthroughs can’t occur without an audience. The audiences of highly creative environments are not mere spectators. They’re attentive and discerning. They egg each other on, pushing one another to ever-greater heights. A good audience is, in many ways, a co-creator. They disapprove and the creator improves.

10. Creative environments strike a balance of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

“The Intrinsic Theory of Motivation,” developed by Teresa Amabile, states that, “People will be most creative when they feel motivated primarily by interest, enjoyment, satisfaction, and the challenge of the work itself- not by external pressure.” Many corporations are inadvertently suppressing creativity by placing the most emphasis on rewards or evaluation. But a certain degree of extrinsic motivation can be helpful. One study found that experienced musicians improvised more creatively when enticed with cash prizes and publicity. The conclusion seems to be that competition motivates experienced creators but inhibits inexperienced ones. Thus, a balance of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is ideal for highly creative environments.

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