Who doesn’t want to be happy all the time? In a perfect world, we are all already happy. There is no stress, no sadness and no troubles. This isn’t a perfect world and we have all those. Some we can avoid; others just happen to us. Ironically enough, some of them we actually cause ourselves with our thinking.
We try to have happy positive thoughts all day every day but we know that doesn’t happen all the time either. Negative thoughts creep in and we’re doomed. Some of us can easily turn a negative thought into a positive one rather quickly. Others of us are not so skilled and the negative thought makes a career of itself in our minds and we spiral into a vortex of doom and gloom.
We are in control of our minds, but sometimes, our minds take over. Some of the mental habits we have appear stronger than us and end up making us angry and ruining our day. Here are just a few of them.
1. Competition.
If you think a coworker, neighbour or maybe even a sibling or friend is doing better than you are at something, and you are not happy about it at all, you will drive yourself crazy over it. For some of us, it really is hard to share in our friend’s celebrations or victories. We instantly feel jealous and angry. Why did that good thing happen to or for them and not us? Let go of your need to compete. Life is not a competition. We are all here for the same reasons; to be happy, live and love.
2. Worrying.
About nothing really. Why do we torment ourselves by worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet? We make up horrible scenarios about things that will most likely never even happen. We drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out the outcome to a situation that doesn’t even exist. We are all guilty of doing this. It’s human instinct to immediately think the worst first. It’s time to turn that off completely, let things go and stop making up stories in our head.
3. Hating on ourselves.
Meaning, getting angry at ourselves for doing something we classify as stupid or idiotic. We made a huge mistake or we feel like we failed miserably at something, and spend the rest of the day, week, month or even year, beating ourselves up about it. Let it go. What’s done is done and furthermore, you didn’t fail at anything. As a matter of fact, you didn’t make a mistake either. You are learning. Growing and trying. You will never know if something is going to work or not if you at least don’t try. You tried it, it didn’t work, on to the next item at hand. Kudos to you for giving it your best effort. Most don’t even bother trying. You’re already two steps ahead, even if it did bomb.
4. Negative self talk.
We tell ourselves we are dumb, not good enough, ugly, fat and all other horrible things. The funny part of that is after we’re done talking ourselves into all that negativity and hate, we wonder why no one loves us or why don’t have many friends or why we are still single. We are all that and then some because you just spent the last hour telling yourself how horrible you are. Why should or would anyone want to be around you? Apparently, you don’t even want to be around you. Start being nicer to yourself. Try telling yourself you love you and you’re awesome and watch what starts to happen.
5. Ambition is at an all time low.
We don’t want to do something. We talk ourselves out of it. It will require too much work, too much change, too much skill and we simply can’t be bothered but we really want the desired result, we just don’t want to do all the work that goes in to it. The best part of all that? We then get mad at ourselves for not doing it in the first place. We give ourselves heck for being lazy or lack ambition. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all go through that phase. You simply aren’t ready to do whatever it is you want to. When you feel it deep down inside, you will know it’s time. You’re not there yet. Be patient with yourself and remind yourself you are doing the best you can with what you have.
It seems so much easier to be mean to ourselves than it is to be kind and loving to ourselves. It actually takes just as much effort. Always choose love.
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Sig Nordal 