You’re reading 3 Ways to Focus on What You Want, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

In today’s 24/7, never-unplugged culture, getting through a day often feels like a full-contact sport – bruises and all. Despite the billions of dollars raked in annually by the wellness industries, statistics show that more Americans than ever are stressed, depressed, and anxiety-ridden – with high-achieving women disproportionately sitting at the top of the burned-out, run-ragged pack.

A breakdown-moment question I often receive from women executives and entrepreneurs alike is some form of, “How can I grow my business faster while having a proper and healthy work-life balance and remaining present in my children’s lives and spending time with my husband and traveling?” (No joke. That’s a word-for-word question I received last week.)

My short answer is: You can’t.

My longer answer is: One cake at a time.

Because you can have your cake and eat it too, but you can’t have multiple cakes at the same time. It’s critical to be aware of what’s most important to you and how you intend to consistently show up for that.

For example, I carve out uninterrupted playtime with my daughter almost every day. Yesterday it was coloring; today it was flying human airplanes in bed. Those simple moments together reinforce my commitment to be a playful and present mother, and show my daughter that she is a priority in my life. (So I’m not checking my phone intermittently while we’re coloring, or thinking about something else while I’m reading to her.) I’m fully present, and she can feel that.

I apply this same singular focus to everything that’s worth doing in my business and life. The cumulative effect of those consistent growth practices is pure magic.

Here are a few simple strategies to experience this same magic in your life:

Strategy #1: F.O.C.U.S. Follow One Course Until Successful. In a keynote speech about the Third Metric, Arianna Huffington discusses the dangers of multitasking: “You think you’re being efficient, but actually you’re being stupid.” As Arianna points out, we now have scientific evidence proving we cannot multi-task. Knowing that, what’s most important to you right now? Maybe it’s taking time off to hang with your little one. Or a personal project you’ve been putting off… Whatever it is: it’s time. Don’t let all the things you can choose get in the way of what you know you must. When you set up your time and space to ‘single-task’, you’ll accomplish more and feel less stressed and more satisfied.

Strategy #2: ACT. To paraphrase from motivational author Napoleon Hill’s work, knowledge is not power. It’s potential power. Knowledge without action is completely useless. So what 1-2 actions could you take today to move in the direction of your FOCUS? What could you create? When I had an over-full-time corporate gig, I dreamed of starting a blog. I didn’t even really know what a blog was at the time, but I used my lunch breaks and late evenings to find out and to simply start writing. What daily action can you take in the direction of your dreams? Small, consistent practices lead to big, crazy cool results.

Strategy #3: CONNECT. Who can help you and who can you help with what you’re creating? When you connect to your deepest desires, you’ll also start connecting with the people and circumstances that steadily bring them to life. And remember, in this information age you can spend time with anyone you want. Find someone who’s killing it in the biz-life areas you feel called to focus on and study them. What are they doing differently? Make it a point to learn something from them today — either by reading or listening to their work, or by finding other creative ways to engage indirectly or directly with them.

---

Cortney McDermott is an award-winning writer, TEDx speaker, and strategist to Fortune 500 executives, entrepreneurial leaders, and think tanks around the world. She writes for a number of international publications, including She Owns It and HuffPost. Her debut book, Change Starts Within You: Unlock the Confidence to Lead with Intuition was selected for Inc.com’s “26 Favorite Books of High Achievers” and has been featured in multiple media outlets around the nation.

Before turning entrepreneur, Cortney served as an executive at Vanity Fair Corporation, vice president at Sustainability Partners, professor of graduate studies for Big Ten US universities, and global associate for the renowned beCause Consortium. (She also moonlighted as a deli waitress, secretary, and everything in between, as a way to put herself through school and life.)

Cortney is a graduate of the London School of Economics and a certified cultural mediator in multiple languages. She lives with her family between the United States and Italyfocus

You’ve read 3 Ways to Focus on What You Want, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading How to Help a Partner Struggling With Clinical Depression, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When I first met my wife, I had no idea that she had a history of clinical depression.  Of course, she had told me about it before we were married, but I did not really know what that meant.  I had not had any previous exposure to serious depression in people.  By the time we were dating, she was already on a mix of anti-depressants. At the time, the effects of depression were not immediately obvious to me.

The first time we experienced a major loss together was in the first year of our marriage. It was the first time I really got to see what she was like when dealing with depression, on top of dealing with grief.  Within the first couple of months of being married, I got my wife pregnant.  It was not exactly a planned pregnancy, but we were ecstatic nonetheless.  We started making plans for our first baby, and had fun picking out names, going back and forth tossing around different combinations of names until we could agree on some.

Then, half-way through the second trimester of her pregnancy, my wife had a miscarriage.  It was devastating, to say the least.  We thought we were in the safe zone, since we had passed the first trimester.  We had already told our families about their first grandbaby and had gotten them excited, and now we had to call them and tell them the shocking news.  It was more than we could stand.

My wife was still taking college classes at the time, trying to finish her degree.  The grief was overwhelming, and she fell into a depression.  She could no longer get up to go to class.  She dropped out of all her classes half-way through the semester.  All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.  When she was awake, she was like a zombie, and would break out in tears intermittently throughout the day.

We have been married seventeen years now.  It has been seventeen years since we lost our first baby.  Nothing has come close to that experience since then, but my wife still has her ups and downs.  She still struggles with depression.  We have been blessed with two beautiful girls since we lost the first one, but we never forget our first baby.

Even through our first loss and my wife’s struggle with depression over the years, I still love my wife and care for her deeply.  Over the years, I have learned a lot about clinical depression and how to deal with it.  So what do you do when your partner is dealing with serious depression?

Depression is not their fault

When dealing with clinical depression, most of the time, it is not the person’s fault.  It is not something they can change on their own.  It’s not something they did to bring it on.  They can’t just pretend it’s not there, or wish it away.  It’s not all just in their head.

After our oldest daughter was born, my wife fell into post-partum depression.  This is often caused by the abrupt change in hormones in the body, and is somewhat common after a woman gives birth.  This can be one type physiological trigger.  There could be environmental factors as well that trigger depression.

Often times, clinical depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain.  Anti-depressants work by trying to correct those imbalances, making it easier for synapses to connect.  In many cases, as in my wife’s case, this kind of chemical imbalance is and can be hereditary.  There is a long history of clinical depression going up my wife’s family.

It does no good, then, to place blame on your partner, or get angry at them for not being able to change their mood like you can, or to get out of bed and be productive.  If your partner has been diagnosed with clinical depression, then you have to understand that it is not their fault.  There is nothing they did to bring it on, and there is nothing they can do to just “snap” out of it.

Get professional help

Clinical depression is a serious illness, and it is not something you can change with herbal supplements or teas, for example.  Some of those over-the-counter solutions may help with minor or occasional cases of anxiety, but they should not be relied upon for serious illnesses.  The first thing you need to do is see a psychiatrist – not a psychologist or therapist, but a licensed medical doctor.

If your partner has not seen a psychiatrist yet, it may be time to consider taking him or her to one.  A psychologist may refer your partner to a psychiatrist, if they suspect there may be a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs to be addressed.  Only a psychiatrist can write prescriptions for medicines that can help with the chemical imbalances, and will work with you to find the correct dosage.

When my wife got pregnant with our first-born, it had only been a few months since the miscarriage, and she was still dealing with the subsequent depression.  We discussed our options with her psychiatrist, and we decided that the benefits of her not feeling depressed were greater than any risks the medications might pose during the pregnancy.  Thus, she went back on antidepressants during her second pregnancy.  Our daughter was born strong and healthy.  You and your partner must make these kinds of decisions, with your doctor.

Help your spouse take their prescription medications

One of the symptoms of clinical depression is feeling a complete lack of motivation to do anything.  It almost borders on apathy.  Part of this lack of motivation applies towards seeking treatment, and taking any prescribed medications.  That is why it is important for you to be supportive and take your partner to a psychiatrist, pick up their prescriptions, and help administer the correct dosage every day.

Anti-depressants do not work overnight, and they must usually be taken for extended periods of time, if not for the rest of their lives.  There is no short term solution.   Counseling and therapy can help you and your partner deal with issues as they arise, but in the long term, the medication prescribed by the psychiatrist must be allowed to work.

These kind of medications are not the kind that can be missed.  Since they affect the chemical balance in the brain, even skipping one dosage can make a person feel off.  Every morning, I take out my wife’s prescribed medications in the right dosage, and personally hand them to her, along with a glass of water to help her swallow them.  Make it easy for your partner to take their medications on a regular schedule, and do not give them an excuse to miss taking it.

Finally, be patient, understanding and loving

Dealing with a depressed partner is difficult, under any circumstance.  Dealing with constant, clinical depression can be especially challenging, but it doesn’t have to be if you follow the guidelines above.  There is help.  There will be ups and downs, particularly when the doctor is trying to find the right mix of medications and the right dosages that work.

Through it all, remember why you love your partner, and be patient.  It does get better.  Just because your partner is struggling with depression and may be taking medications does not mean that they won’t know or remember anything you do or say.  They will remember, even when they are feeling better.

While they are feeling depressed, your partner may even say things or do things that hurt you.  This is when you have to be strong, and just let it slide.  Let it go. Realize they are not in their right mind, and continue to show them you care and will not hurt them.  This is when you must find strength in the love you have for your partner, in the love that brought you together in the first place.

Encourage them to get up and do things with you, even though they don’t feel like it, but don’t force them to do anything they don’t want to.  Invite them to go on a walk with you around a park.  Nature and fresh air can lighten a person’s mood.  Offer to cook them a meal, or give them a massage.  A massage can release endorphins, which enlightens the mood.

Most importantly, just be yourself – don’t be patronizing.  Depression is a long-term illness.  Just because you may not be suffering from depression does not make you better than your partner, and it does not make your partner any less of a person.  It just means they need help – your help, as well as professional help.  We could all use some help once in a while.

You’ve read How to Help a Partner Struggling With Clinical Depression, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading 6 Reasons Why Failure Is As Equally Important As Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

All of us dream of success and of reaching great heights. But have any of us dreamt of failure? Or how failure shapes us in a way to achieve success? A majority of us would answer with a “NO”. No one in their right minds would want to fail. It is something that none of us is equipped to deal with although it is an inevitable part of life. The problem lies in how most people feel unworthy after they don’t succeed.

At some point in life, all of us have failed. It could be something as simple as not getting through a driving licence test or something as big as losing in an international competition. It is very easy to give up when things don’t work out. But if everything was easy to achieve in life, we would fail to notice its importance. Failure doesn’t mean that you haven’t worked hard; it simply means that you need to take another approach to achieve what you want. Let’s have a look at why failure is good in achieving success:

#1: Failure Strengthens You

Failure can tear you down but it also builds you to be a stronger person. If you read the stories of all the great personalities we look up to, they all reached where they are because of failure. Names like Steve Jobs, Walt Disney and Albert Einstein are amongst the most successful people even today and even they had to battle great failures. If you have been knocked to the ground by failure, get back on your feet and push harder to show that nothing can break you down.

#2: Failure Gives You a Sense of Direction

Most of us keep second guessing all the decisions that we take. It’s not wrong, it happens because we don’t realize if the decisions we take are right for the moment. Failure gives you a path for redirection. You get a sense of clarity on everywhere you have gone wrong and how to take a better path to reach where you want to be.

#3: Failure Teaches You Value

Our values keep changing over time. With every small or big change in our lives, our values are reshaped. Value is one of the greatest lessons that failure could teach us in our lives. While success could easily get to our heads, failure keeps us grounded. Failure teaches us to value all the right things in order to succeed.

#4: Failure Gets Rid Of Fear

Somehow most of the things that we fear in our lives are interlinked with failure. It is the fear of failing that holds us back from exploring our options and getting out of our comfort zones. Once you are accustomed to failing you have nothing left to fear anymore. You become unafraid to take risks and get out of your comfort zone to achieve everything you want.

#5: Failure is an Opportunity

Instead of focusing on the negative things that come with failure, focus your energy on all the positives. It teaches you to be resilient and face all odds. Achieving success after failures shows you how mentally strong and capable you are. Failure shows us everywhere we might have gone wrong and gives us the opportunity to correct it. You become a confident and a compassionate person overall.

#6: Failure is an Experience

It’s true that everything that we go through in life is an experience and so is failure. Success is not everything. Having an understanding of life is what counts. And nothing apart from failure could give us a deeper understanding of life and alter the way we look at everything that happens around us. It changes us to be better humans and teaches us the importance of our lives.

Conclusion:

Accept failures gracefully as a part of our lives and let it teach you to become a stronger person on your road to success. The journey from failure to success is not an easy one, but it is totally worth all your efforts. So, even if you fail often get up and look failure in the eye and never stop trying. Hiding away from failure will also keep you away from success. Brave the storm and walk the path, you will never regret it.

---

Ruturaj is the CEO and Founder of Nethority and Mobikart. He is an energetic Digital Marketing professional with integrated marketing experience in the B2B & B2C domains. He is also a professional blogger who loves to pen down breaking news and tutorials related to technology particularly Smartphones and other gadgets. Ruturaj has reviewed hundreds of smartphones, tablets and other gadgets in more than 7 years.

Social Media URL’s
Facebook – http://ift.tt/2A21UXt
Twitter – https://twitter.com/ruturajk
LinkedIn – http://ift.tt/2hzyaKt

You’ve read 6 Reasons Why Failure Is As Equally Important As Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

How often do you feel like you are your own worst enemy? You frequently may find that what stands between you and the life of your dreams is… you. I have been a psychologist in Los Angeles for over three decades, and I’ve designed several strategies that can help you to get over the fears and resistance that keep you from living a life you will love. But, first, I want to explain why you feel this fear and resistance in the first place.

Fear drives all of our decisions. It’s a biological fact, and it comes from evolution. If human beings weren’t a fearful species, we wouldn’t have survived for long in a world where many other creatures were bigger and stronger than us. We were afraid, so we were careful, and we survived. Fear also kept us in communities. We were afraid of being cast out of the tribe — and thus starving to death — so we learned to behave in a way that made others like us and want us around.

Fear-driven motivation worked well over thousands of years of human evolution. The first step toward breaking free from these fears is to thank your early-human ancestors and recognize that the voice in your head that’s telling you to stop, slow down, and be rational comes from their reality, not yours.

As soon as you formulate a vision for what you would love, that fearful voice starts questioning its validity, and your authority and ability to pursue it. That voice is trying to keep you safe. Thank it, then set it aside to refocus on your vision.

Remember: the real purpose of life is to truly live.

Dismissing that warning voice won’t come easily. Choosing your heart’s desire over fears and insecurities may be a daily struggle. But moment by moment, day after day, choosing your dreams over your fears is the most important choice you will ever make.

You must allow yourself to feel all of your feelings. Denying that you’re afraid won’t do any good; instead, you will be helpless to make a change. Acknowledging “what is” will help you take the power out of self-doubt. Then you can move forward by trying these five strategies to help you combat the fear and resistance holding you back:

1. Start Right Now

“There is no time like the present” becomes truer the older you get. Every moment is a potential starting point to create the change you want in your life. Knowing you’re finally on the path will feel exhilarating and will help drive you farther forward. Start now by taking one small step toward your goal. That small step can be number 2, below.

2. Create a Workable Plan

Break your goal down into manageable steps. If your dream doesn’t seem “realistic,” it may be because you’re trying to do too much all at once. Even “unrealistic” goals can be achieved if done one small step at a time. Find a quiet moment to sit down and write out a plan to achieve your dream, one step at a time. If it still seems unworkable, break down each step further.

3. Be Flexible

Even when you’re working on a project of your own choosing, it can sometimes feel like you’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do. This is when procrastination can happen. It’s your counterwill — your instinctive resistance to being told what to do — at work. To overcome your counterwill, build some flexibility into your plan. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, for example, give yourself flexibility about what time of day or where you write, or what order you write chapters in.

4. Be Proactive and Resourceful

Part of being a good steward to your life and your dreams is anticipating your needs. Educate yourself about the challenges you may come up against as you work toward achieving your goal. Then build a structure that will help you overcome these challenges. If money is a challenge, for instance, don’t push off dealing with it. Be proactive about it. This may require some creativity and persistence.

5. Let Go of Notions of Success and Failure

Stressing out about your progress or worrying what others think detracts from your focus on what you love. You can experience life only one moment at a time, and, by living fully according to your heart, you cannot fail, no matter the outcome, because you are living a life you love.

Whether your goal is to write a novel, build a home, or travel around the world, you can make your dream real once you overcome the fears and resistance holding you back. Afraid to start? If you read this article, you just did.

---

Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, has over 35 years of clinical experience as a renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and author. In her work, Dr. Brandt reveals positive paths to emotional health that teach you how to reinvent and empower yourself. She emphasizes the mind-body-heart connection as a key to mental, physical, and emotional wellness.

You’ve read 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

How often do you feel like you are your own worst enemy? You frequently may find that what stands between you and the life of your dreams is… you. I have been a psychologist in Los Angeles for over three decades, and I’ve designed several strategies that can help you to get over the fears and resistance that keep you from living a life you will love. But, first, I want to explain why you feel this fear and resistance in the first place.

Fear drives all of our decisions. It’s a biological fact, and it comes from evolution. If human beings weren’t a fearful species, we wouldn’t have survived for long in a world where many other creatures were bigger and stronger than us. We were afraid, so we were careful, and we survived. Fear also kept us in communities. We were afraid of being cast out of the tribe — and thus starving to death — so we learned to behave in a way that made others like us and want us around.

Fear-driven motivation worked well over thousands of years of human evolution. The first step toward breaking free from these fears is to thank your early-human ancestors and recognize that the voice in your head that’s telling you to stop, slow down, and be rational comes from their reality, not yours.

As soon as you formulate a vision for what you would love, that fearful voice starts questioning its validity, and your authority and ability to pursue it. That voice is trying to keep you safe. Thank it, then set it aside to refocus on your vision.

Remember: the real purpose of life is to truly live.

Dismissing that warning voice won’t come easily. Choosing your heart’s desire over fears and insecurities may be a daily struggle. But moment by moment, day after day, choosing your dreams over your fears is the most important choice you will ever make.

You must allow yourself to feel all of your feelings. Denying that you’re afraid won’t do any good; instead, you will be helpless to make a change. Acknowledging “what is” will help you take the power out of self-doubt. Then you can move forward by trying these five strategies to help you combat the fear and resistance holding you back:

1. Start Right Now

“There is no time like the present” becomes truer the older you get. Every moment is a potential starting point to create the change you want in your life. Knowing you’re finally on the path will feel exhilarating and will help drive you farther forward. Start now by taking one small step toward your goal. That small step can be number 2, below.

2. Create a Workable Plan

Break your goal down into manageable steps. If your dream doesn’t seem “realistic,” it may be because you’re trying to do too much all at once. Even “unrealistic” goals can be achieved if done one small step at a time. Find a quiet moment to sit down and write out a plan to achieve your dream, one step at a time. If it still seems unworkable, break down each step further.

3. Be Flexible

Even when you’re working on a project of your own choosing, it can sometimes feel like you’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do. This is when procrastination can happen. It’s your counterwill — your instinctive resistance to being told what to do — at work. To overcome your counterwill, build some flexibility into your plan. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, for example, give yourself flexibility about what time of day or where you write, or what order you write chapters in.

4. Be Proactive and Resourceful

Part of being a good steward to your life and your dreams is anticipating your needs. Educate yourself about the challenges you may come up against as you work toward achieving your goal. Then build a structure that will help you overcome these challenges. If money is a challenge, for instance, don’t push off dealing with it. Be proactive about it. This may require some creativity and persistence.

5. Let Go of Notions of Success and Failure

Stressing out about your progress or worrying what others think detracts from your focus on what you love. You can experience life only one moment at a time, and, by living fully according to your heart, you cannot fail, no matter the outcome, because you are living a life you love.

Whether your goal is to write a novel, build a home, or travel around the world, you can make your dream real once you overcome the fears and resistance holding you back. Afraid to start? If you read this article, you just did.

---

Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, has over 35 years of clinical experience as a renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and author. In her work, Dr. Brandt reveals positive paths to emotional health that teach you how to reinvent and empower yourself. She emphasizes the mind-body-heart connection as a key to mental, physical, and emotional wellness.

You’ve read 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading How To Build a Network for Positive Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Admitting to yourself that a relationship is not serving you is a very difficult thing to do. If a relationship is damaging to you or if it is blocking you, then it’s time to reevaluate its presence in your life. Let me ask you a question. If you took all the energy you put into your parasitic relationships and invested it in yourself instead, where would you be? Resentful and exhausted at the end of each day and dreading getting up the next morning? Or fulfilled and ready for a restful night’s sleep and excited about tomorrow?

If you’re in relationships that are taking more from you than they are giving, it is time to redefine them or get out of them without any excuses. If the people in your life aren’t embracing and supporting the growth in your life, then it is time to change the people you’re around. One of the most empowering steps I see my clients take is to develop a positive support system. In my work, I have observed those who come to me with a support system in place and those who happen to be without one. Those surrounded by functional families, healthy social lives, and work environments with colleagues they respect have a tendency to take quantum leaps in their growth, unlike those who are isolated from family, have no interest in listening to others’ opinions, and don’t cultivate peer relationships at work.

If you’re broke and hanging out with broke people, your mind-set isn’t going to change, nor are your circumstances. Few of us can rid ourselves of parasitic relationships until we have the support of a network of people who are truly interested in nurturing our best selves. Women thrive when we support each other, rather than tearing one another down because of the deeply embedded masculine view that there is room for only one at the top. When we structure our support systems so we can be honest with others.

Being in a supportive network teaches us many things. First, when we make time for positive relationships, we have less time for those who are draining and pressuring us. Second, we learn how to receive help from others. This is key to becoming a Leader of Change. There is a natural flow of give-and-take. Your support system will be there for you and have your back when you start to doubt yourself or find yourself falling back into old patterns. If your friends are also learning how to let their potential flow through them, your success is much more likely.

Samar Shera author of Strut: How Every Woman Can Be a Leader of Change, works as an integrated clinical hypnotherapist and life coach and is certified in energy modalities such as Reiki, Theta Healing, and the Law of Attraction. Brought up in an Islamic Pakistani family living in Dubai, she defies stereotyping and dramatically expands the international conversation about the universal rights, needs, and desires of women and girls. http://www.samarshera.com.

You’ve read How To Build a Network for Positive Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading  11 Ways to Build Trust with Your Body Language, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Trust is the core need for every human transaction, whether it is in business, family matter or in your love life. If you want others to listen to you, need to inspire trust and getting people to trust you it s often a tough affair.

Social psychologist and proponent of the power-pose, Amy Cuddy says, “Trust is the conduit for influence: It’s the medium through which ideas travel. If they don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead in the water. If they trust you, they are open, and they can hear what you are offering. Having the best idea is worth nothing if people do not trust you”.

Putting this fact parallel to our body language, which is amongst the most crucial and sound part of our personality, there are certain ways to build trust with body language. Our body language makes our statements more assertive, enrich the message, and reflect confidence, which works as a catalyst to build trust. Body language helps us to express our thoughts with better clarity and create a better connection to the person next to you. This connection is the seed of trust that you can plant.

While computing this thought, let us talk about some convincing practices to be trusted or get others trust in you, while using body language. Here are a few simple ways and hints for using right & decent body language.

1 Eye Contact:

The above all thing! Your eyes reflect as the mirror of your self-confidence and help immensely in building trust. Maintaining eye contact when someone is talking will help to build credence because it shows how genuinely you are interested in listening what they are saying.

Try to make consistent eye contact during conversation. “Listen with your eyes,” says Paul Zak, Ph.D. author of Trust Factor: The Science Of Creating High-Performance Companies.

People always used to judge anyone by their eye contact. Another critical factor is blinking. Blinking too much also may affect the listener. So maintaining consistent eye contact is very important.

2 Nodding & Smile:

While someone is interacting with you, let that other person realize that you care for their words and genuinely listening to the person. Nodd your head when they are talking & explaining things, it shows that you agree and accept their thoughts and consider their opinions.

Smile! It is never wrong, and it is in itself is a potent weapon in today’s life. Your smile can disarm anyone, even to your enemy. Smiling genuinely will relax any situation. But do not smile too much as it often looks fake.

3 Uncross your Arms & Legs:

Do not cross your legs and arms. Let them realize that you are unbound, and your opinion is free. Sit or stand with open arms, hold your palms open and make sure your body looks open.

This way you will also look more open to welcome others thoughts. Do not point your fingers while interacting as it may seem as you are accusing the person.

4 Distance & Body Posture:

Maintain an appropriate distance and body posture express your interest, your confidence, and your firmness. Stand straight, look firm while interacting with the person. Standing face to face is better.

Do not stand too close as it gives a message that you are intervening the other person’s space and sometimes threatening the person.

5 Stable Head:

Don’t move your head a lot during conversation, move your head very little as if you are sincerely interested in the other person and attending their views

6 Furrowed Brow:

Your forehead also gives significant signals. Raise your brows to give the expression of surprise. To give the expression of sympathy and concern for someone’s troubles pulled together brows translates your gesture in a better way.

7 Watch Your Voice Tone:

Technically voice tone does not exactly come in body language, but it is crucial how you roll out your words to implant trust in between. Your tone can make you seem rushed or bored.

Keep your voice on the natural pitch because it is a cue that can be detected even on phone calls. Keep your voice tone as natural as you can keep it. Because Sometimes It is not about What you Say but about How you Say it.

8 Your Concern:

Showing your concern about them and their affairs to build trust. Be attentive, listen far more than speaking and keep the attention on their pleasure. Tilt your head forward to show interest.

9 Wrong Touch:

Light touching a friend on hand can show your support, display your concern and sympathy for that friend or the person you are interacting with. But touching on shoulder or elbow can make the person uncomfortable, particularly in case of women, they get irritated so do not use these tactics in any conversation. Such acts not only cause them lose interest but also show you disrespectful.

10 Respectful:

Till the time the respect part is missing, trust is somewhat impossible to gain. So while interacting with someone whether you agree or not, whether you are interested or not show your respect for the person.

11 Come Down To Their Level:

Sitting on a higher chair than others indicates as you are dominating over them and it is not good and not in your favor if you’re trying to build trust.

“Trust Makes The World Go Round”. And these are some Simple, magical and straightforward phrases that can qualify you to get their trust.

————–

Joseph Payne is the marketing manager at CouponsMonk.com, deals and discounts provider company. He is passionate about money savings, investment and finance industry. In addition, Joseph also supports non-profit agencies that provide healthcare solutions to handicapped and disabled people.

You’ve read  11 Ways to Build Trust with Your Body Language, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading 7 Paths to Self-Improvement, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Self-improvement is a broad field. It can mean being a better person, learning something  new, accomplishing more, or simply figuring out how to better enjoy the life you have. Even the inspiration to improve can come from a number of different places: boredom, staleness, recurring problems, or a general feeling of dissatisfaction or inadequacy. But just because you know it’s time for something to change, it’s not always easy to know where to start.

There are plenty of resources out there, but it can be hard to find one that speaks to you and your particular motivations. The internet is full of suggestions, but a quick search shows that it might be too full. During my last motivational quest, looking for “self-improvement ideas” turned into hours of reading, as I skimmed literally hundreds of lists, some of them with only a few items, but others dozens or even hundreds of suggestions long.

Worse, the suggestions were all over the place. Meditate. Learn a new language. Stop biting your nails. (What if you don’t bite them? Should you start and then stop?) Get up earlier and go to bed earlier. (Is that actual improvement, or just shifting things around to better conform with some puritanical code?) After hours of reading, I actually felt more confused about what to do than before I’d started searching.

Eventually I decided to try to organize the suggestions, lumping similar ideas and trends into what became broad categories, which I call the Seven Axes of Development. (Okay, that spells SAD, which isn’t the goal. Ignore that.) They are:

1. Intellectual – learning facts or mental skills, or otherwise improving the mind.
2. Physical – becoming stronger, faster, fitter, bionic. Well, maybe not bionic.
3. Acquiring Talents – unlike the previous two items, which are relatively general, talents might have both a mental and physical component, but are really about doing a distinctive thing. Learning how to juggle, for instance, or playing an instrument, or learning an art or craft.
4. Organizational – cleaning, decluttering, time management.
5. Interpersonal – connecting. Improving the quality of relationships, from the most casual of co-workers to the most significant of others.
6. Experiential – seeking out new sensations and experiences. This could be as involved as international travel, or as simple as savoring a pleasant aroma.
7. Removal – getting rid of bad habits, or reducing negative effects on your life.

That’s still a lot of material, but having the categories helps. My guess is most of us naturally excel at one or two of them, really struggle with a couple (or several), and the others are somewhere in the middle. There are a few ways you can go from here. One may be to target the weakest areas, because it gives you the opportunity for the greatest improvement. On the other hand, if you’re struggling, maybe picking one of your strongest axes, which are usually more fun and interesting, is a great way to get some easy wins. Or take one of the items in the middle, which is a good candidate for going from mediocre to excellent without too much pain.

Honestly, any of those options could work, but from week to week or month to month, you might rotate through all three tactics, as the mood strikes or life allows.

There’s an advanced technique I’d like to recommend, though. What I did was take this list of axes and build a 30-day challenge, basically speed-dating my way through all the different options and angles, just to make sure I tried them all out a little, in order to better assess how they felt and what my chances of success were. For each axis I came up with three or four different things I could try out in just half an hour. Obviously learning a language in 30 minutes is out, but maybe a meditation session or some reading will tick the Intellectual checkbox, while some exercise or a lengthy stretching session can be a Physical goal for a day. For Organizational you could do a little light decluttering one day, and then some heavy cleaning in that one trouble spot (you probably have one, and know what it is) the next. Interpersonal might involve some quality time with a loved one or calling up someone you’ve fallen out of touch with, and so on.

So, make a list of 30 of these items, distributing them as evenly as possible against all the categories. It’s okay—great, even—to combine them. Playing a sport might include Physical, Interpersonal, and Talented components, for instance. Then, in roughly half an hour per day, (enough to get some things done, but not so much it really derails your life) do one of these things each day 30 days. Ideally you’ll take some notes about your experiences, deciding what you love and what you hate, what’s easy or difficult.

At the end of 30 days, not only will you already feel accomplished, but you’ll have a much better idea of what to pursue in the future. Self-improvement is more of a process than a goal, so there’s always more to do. By using the axes and starting with a 30-day challenge, you can identify blind spots, gain appreciation for the parts you already do well, and set a target on what aspect you want to improve next.

---

Aaron Rath is a novelist and humorist who nurtures a love for self-inflicted ordeals, such as this 30-day self-improvement challenge, which eventually became The Quirkz Handbook to Self-Improvement for People Who Are Already Pretty Okay.

You’ve read 7 Paths to Self-Improvement, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading How to Rejuvenate Your Life with These Remarkable Lifestyle Changes, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The quest for happiness is innate to human beings. Even in ancient times when there was no global connectivity and no axe to grind with one another, civilizations prevailed because of stability and an urge of making kingdoms happy.

Coming back to the present context, today human existence is grappling with a huge range of issues. Terrorism, famine, poverty, fundamentalism, tyranny and social crimes are eliciting a grim picture to the fore. The good thing, however, is being happy doesn’t have to do anything with these issues. It is something that is at the core our existence.

Unfortunately, many people succumb to unfavorable circumstances and make themselves lead a miserable life. It is noteworthy to understand that only a happy person can make others happy.

If you want to be happier & healthier and ready to make lifestyle changes, there are several ways to do that. It is about time you have made a decision to be happy and bring the smile to the faces of your loved ones.

Here are the powerful lifestyle changes you need to rejuvenate your life:

1. Be compassionate and help others

You are not the only one who is in dire straits, there are others who need your help and who do not know to get over their sorrows. Be compassionate and extend your helping hand to such people. This is a great human service and you will forget your own unhappiness. There is an age-old philosophy – “what goes around comes around” – so if you are ready to extend this gesture, you will get it back with interest. However, you shouldn’t help others for getting something in return, for such an attitude will not fulfill the purpose of attaining happiness. Rather, being compassionate and helpful gives a great satisfaction. By doing that you are providing a life change for two individuals – yourself and the recipient of your compassion.

2. Connect with your friends

Being with friends is one of the greatest fulfillment. You don’t have to think and behave in a particular manner whenever you hang-out with your friends. When you are unhappy and hopeless, your friends are there for you. Moreover, staying isolated and lonely makes no sense when we are social animals and enjoy one another’s company. Be it a friend, family member or a colleague, you need a selfless person who can keep you motivated and lively. Indulge in a conversation with your friends and intimate them about the challenges you are confronting and the things you are learning from them. It would be great if you keep organizing sweet get- together with your close pals and spend precious moments with each other. On other occasions such as weddings or birthdays of your friends, you can give them their favorite bottle of beer with personalized beer bottle labels having photos and images of previous memories.

3. Laugh, smile and encourage others to do so

Laughter has an enormous healing power as it is often termed as the best medicine. Spend some time with people who make you laugh or you can watch comic videos on the internet. Indulging in activities that prompt laughter, will give you a big relief and you can feel the flow of happiness. However, you shouldn’t stop at that, you should encourage others to laugh as well. Since laughter is contagious, your act of laughing may titillate others as well. It ensures that you are spreading a sense of positivity around yourself. Furthermore, smiling releases endorphins – hormones of happiness. A good way of smiling is to get hold of an old photo album consisting memorable photographs. Just go through them and you won’t stop yourself from smiling.

4. Be grateful

Be grateful for life, as some moments bring happiness while others may make you upset, but the simple fact of life is it is your own choice to be happy and healthy. Many philosophers believe making a statement gives an individual more of what he is grateful for. So if you believe that you are grateful for a good health – you will indeed get more good health. Being grateful for the beauty of nature even soothes your innermost self. Come out and go into the lap of nature and feel the lush green trees, blooming flowers and appreciate mountains & valleys. If being grateful in this manner doesn’t make you feel happy and fulfilling, nothing is.

5. Exercise regularly

Exercise is considered as a cure for every disease and negativity that unfortunately may come in your life. A regular exercise not only keeps your body weight in check, and it makes you stronger and gives you a feeling of youthfulness. When you work out daily, you become active, less stressed out, less anxious, calm and more importantly happier. Exercise releases dopamine – a neurotransmitter in your brain that is responsible for happiness and pleasure. Exercising also boosts your confidence. It gives you a feeling that you are well within the reach of neutralizing negative effects in your life.

Final Words

Happiness cannot and should not be one’s destination; it should be a way of life. Nobody can make you happy if you yourself don’t want to be. Everything in life cannot go according to your will, in fact sometimes everything opposite happens. But you always have options and reasons to be happy. The above-mentioned lifestyle changes are powerful tips to remain happy and healthy in life.

You’ve read How to Rejuvenate Your Life with These Remarkable Lifestyle Changes, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>

You’re reading Tips for writing tenders, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

 

Knowing how to prepare a convincing RFT or an RFP is a fundamental  for any business before they  develop a tender strategy to seek work. A request for tender (RFT) or request for proposal (RFP)  must be professionally prepared documents that consist in different measures of technical and  marketing content. The documents must be written in a highly professional manner that is convincing, easy to understand and complies with the tender request.

Businesses require many different skill-sets to win jobs however to write and present a successful tender needs the right tone, style, and language.  Here are nine tips to remember when writing a tender.

 

• Be clear

Be clear with your thoughts and the points you are making. Precise, clear, simple, and to the point answers are always appreciated by the reader. Avoid using technical terms because using overly complicated language can lose the reader. Hence, applying the KISS strategy—Keep It Simple Stupid—with language and technical terms is always recommended.

 

• Write for the audience

Write for your audience. For example, when a doctor speaks with another doctor, they converse in technical language expecting the other to understand the complex terminology but this is a dangerous assumption when tender writing.  When you are writing a document it will not necessarily be read by a technical person, that  will fully understand what you are writing—the final read may be done by a person with a commercial background who might not understand the technical terms your using. Always avoid overly complex words and explain the meaning of every technical term you use.

 

• Do not be passive!

Do not be passive! It is important to understand that the passive voice is less engaging and convincing than the active voice. The document should engage the writer and identify the reader. Use active voice where you mention yourself as ‘I’, and the reader as ‘you’.

 

• Beware of overusing acronyms!

Acronyms should be used only where the reader is familiar with the reference.  Avoid using short forms in your document, this confuses the reader and . If you use an acronym in the document ensure you explain the term in full when you first use it, for example “request for tender (RFT)”.

 

• Show motivation in your sentences!

Use passion, emotion, and motivation to enhance your proposal. While most people write straightforward and formal content, it helps to use some emotion and to emphasise  the organisation’s culture—it can help you achieve a better outcome.

 

• Don’t use ‘if’, ‘might’, ‘may’!

‘Ifs’, ‘mays’, ‘mights’, and ‘buts’ are a sign of a lack of confidence or lack of capability. If you are using such phrases in the tender, you will look less than competent. The person who reads it, will  get the impression that you are not confident on the project criteria. Instead, try using words like ‘will, ‘can’, ‘when’—this is the language of confidence.  

 

• Structure appropriately!

The entire document should be structured properly. The document should be clear to the reader. The document must have chapters, sections, subsections, and paragraphs that fit together logically and create a cohesive narrative. Paragraphs should be written clearly and follow a consistent structure.

 

• Do not capitalise words unnecessarily!

 

Do not use excessive capitalisation. There is a tendency to copy legal documents and to capitalise “Important Terms” to identify them as contractual items, this is bad grammar, unnecessary and looks amateurish. A common noun is not capitalised—for instance, the contract, the client—only proper nouns should be capitalised, for instance the name of a report or document, The Supply Contract, etc.

 

• Headings help the readers to follow the document

Headings are a great help for the reader to understand what the content is about. Every section of the document should have a heading that summarises its intent and is easy to read and understand.

Final note:

If you  are looking closely at selecting an agency to help you with your proposals there are very few communication consultancies that are offering such an impressive range of e-tendering services and content development.  Should you wish to achieve a better success rate Madrigal Communications stands out from its competitors by having a quality service that gives you exceptional value for money and return on investment.

You’ve read Tips for writing tenders, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

>