You’re reading 5 Ways To Help Manage Your Energy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’ve read 5 Ways To Help Manage Your Energy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2ukqUHM

You’re reading 5 Ways To Help Manage Your Energy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’ve read 5 Ways To Help Manage Your Energy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2ukqUHM

You’re reading The One Secret to Becoming Smarter (Hint: It’s not what you think), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We all want to know the one secret to becoming smarter, don’t we?

If you search for “ways to become smarter” on the internet, you will get a lot of crazy suggestions. Maybe some more than others. After all, do you really think that a pill will make you more intelligent? Rather use these search results as a test for your preexisting intellect. Looking closely at what you find is the first step to understanding that it is BS.(over-generalizing)

The secret to becoming more intelligent is nothing special, yet it has been overlooked in the past times.

The absolute secret to being smarter is READING.

“Wow, you’ll say. Thanks for sharing this novel information. Where do I exit this article?”

But before you go, stop for a minute.

If you truly were clear about the effects that reading has on your intellect, why would you have clicked on this article? You already knew the ultimate secret, didn’t you?

Here’s the catch: Many of us know that reading does wonderful things to our intellect, yet we do not really know where to start. Oftentimes we even try to read as much as we can, but never really end up taking anything from it. We end up as a smart as we were before. We might as well use our time for something else.

Yet, why is this the secret of every successful and bright person on earth? Why do others take so much from reading and we don’t?

The thing is we do not think about what we read.

You’ll find thousands of blog posts and YouTube videos on reading faster, but fewer about how to think about what you read.

After all, we do not read for the sake of reading, but because we want to learn something.

Three ways to be a better reader:

Understand that it will take time. Invest it.

We are too often misguided by the illusion that we can read fast and still make use of what we are reading.

I am not saying you have to read as slow as one book in two months, yet you have to be willing to stop and reflect.

If you simply rush through a book, what will you have taken from it?

When you are only reading for pleasure, you could easily read one novel in one day (Or however fast you read.).

However, it looks completely different when you are reading non-fiction for self-improvement.

Do your truly believe that by reading a non-fiction book in a day, you will be able to significantly improve your life? No, improbable.

So why do we still do it?

Because we want to seem smart and boast of all the books we have read.

But what does it actually serve you, if you only take a fraction of the book’s benefit with you?

Nothing. If you are out for skimming through a book you might as well not read it.

You have to be willing to invest the necessary time to read a book.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot read it in one go. You could read the book once and then once you are familiar with the content and the principles, you can go back and further engage with it.

So how do we think about what we read?

First and foremost, if you want to unlock the secret to becoming smarter, you need to know some of the basics. It is critical that you make the information you read, your own.

Paraphrase it, write it in your journal (if you don’t journal, you might as well start now!).

Then try to transfer the information onto your life.

How does this apply to me? What can I use this for in my life?

By making information more personal it is ‘categorized’ as relevant to our brains and is then stored, thus making us remember it better.

And why would you want to retain information better?

When you retain the relevant read information you can apply the theories and suggestions. So you take the maximal benefit from any book you are reading.

This goes right into our next tip:

Apply the information to your life

Spoiler alert: Potential to change your life!

By applying information from the book to your life, you make use of the book. Books are there to help us improve our lives. They are supposed to help us learn a language, a principle or a strategy. Why wouldn’t we use it?

Think about it this way: The author has most likely put years’ worth of experience and knowledge into this book. He has enough skill to be accepted to publish it. He has invested time into writing and publishing.

The content is probably highly valuable, so why wouldn’t you use it to improve your life, based on other people’s experiences?

Through books, we learn to live a thousand lives in one lifetime.

Every time you see that a proposition is outlined, a strategy you could apply, take notes and then create a step-by-step action plan for how to apply it to your life.

You’d be surprised by the outstanding effects this has on your life!

You won’t understand why you ever read in another manner!

---

If you are applying these ways to your reading and make them a habit, you’ll soon be the smartest person around.

Why? Because rarely anyone will read as thoroughly as you do.

Seek challenges every day. Read consistently and make something from it. Use reading as a matter to the means.

Interested in reading more about becoming a smarter and more proficient you? Then head on over to my blog and subscribe to the newsletter.

You’ve read The One Secret to Becoming Smarter (Hint: It’s not what you think), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2uFjotz

You’re reading The One Secret to Becoming Smarter (Hint: It’s not what you think), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We all want to know the one secret to becoming smarter, don’t we?

If you search for “ways to become smarter” on the internet, you will get a lot of crazy suggestions. Maybe some more than others. After all, do you really think that a pill will make you more intelligent? Rather use these search results as a test for your preexisting intellect. Looking closely at what you find is the first step to understanding that it is BS.(over-generalizing)

The secret to becoming more intelligent is nothing special, yet it has been overlooked in the past times.

The absolute secret to being smarter is READING.

“Wow, you’ll say. Thanks for sharing this novel information. Where do I exit this article?”

But before you go, stop for a minute.

If you truly were clear about the effects that reading has on your intellect, why would you have clicked on this article? You already knew the ultimate secret, didn’t you?

Here’s the catch: Many of us know that reading does wonderful things to our intellect, yet we do not really know where to start. Oftentimes we even try to read as much as we can, but never really end up taking anything from it. We end up as a smart as we were before. We might as well use our time for something else.

Yet, why is this the secret of every successful and bright person on earth? Why do others take so much from reading and we don’t?

The thing is we do not think about what we read.

You’ll find thousands of blog posts and YouTube videos on reading faster, but fewer about how to think about what you read.

After all, we do not read for the sake of reading, but because we want to learn something.

Three ways to be a better reader:

Understand that it will take time. Invest it.

We are too often misguided by the illusion that we can read fast and still make use of what we are reading.

I am not saying you have to read as slow as one book in two months, yet you have to be willing to stop and reflect.

If you simply rush through a book, what will you have taken from it?

When you are only reading for pleasure, you could easily read one novel in one day (Or however fast you read.).

However, it looks completely different when you are reading non-fiction for self-improvement.

Do your truly believe that by reading a non-fiction book in a day, you will be able to significantly improve your life? No, improbable.

So why do we still do it?

Because we want to seem smart and boast of all the books we have read.

But what does it actually serve you, if you only take a fraction of the book’s benefit with you?

Nothing. If you are out for skimming through a book you might as well not read it.

You have to be willing to invest the necessary time to read a book.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot read it in one go. You could read the book once and then once you are familiar with the content and the principles, you can go back and further engage with it.

So how do we think about what we read?

First and foremost, if you want to unlock the secret to becoming smarter, you need to know some of the basics. It is critical that you make the information you read, your own.

Paraphrase it, write it in your journal (if you don’t journal, you might as well start now!).

Then try to transfer the information onto your life.

How does this apply to me? What can I use this for in my life?

By making information more personal it is ‘categorized’ as relevant to our brains and is then stored, thus making us remember it better.

And why would you want to retain information better?

When you retain the relevant read information you can apply the theories and suggestions. So you take the maximal benefit from any book you are reading.

This goes right into our next tip:

Apply the information to your life

Spoiler alert: Potential to change your life!

By applying information from the book to your life, you make use of the book. Books are there to help us improve our lives. They are supposed to help us learn a language, a principle or a strategy. Why wouldn’t we use it?

Think about it this way: The author has most likely put years’ worth of experience and knowledge into this book. He has enough skill to be accepted to publish it. He has invested time into writing and publishing.

The content is probably highly valuable, so why wouldn’t you use it to improve your life, based on other people’s experiences?

Through books, we learn to live a thousand lives in one lifetime.

Every time you see that a proposition is outlined, a strategy you could apply, take notes and then create a step-by-step action plan for how to apply it to your life.

You’d be surprised by the outstanding effects this has on your life!

You won’t understand why you ever read in another manner!

---

If you are applying these ways to your reading and make them a habit, you’ll soon be the smartest person around.

Why? Because rarely anyone will read as thoroughly as you do.

Seek challenges every day. Read consistently and make something from it. Use reading as a matter to the means.

Interested in reading more about becoming a smarter and more proficient you? Then head on over to my blog and subscribe to the newsletter.

You’ve read The One Secret to Becoming Smarter (Hint: It’s not what you think), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2uFjotz

You’re reading 5 Compelling Reasons for Becoming An Autodidact in the Modern Era, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Autodidact.

That’s the word for someone who engages in self-learning and self-teaching. Most of our culturally cherished individuals were/are considered autodidacts. Many of these figures are from bygone eras (Abraham Lincoln, Michael Faraday, The Wright Brothers, etc.) but we have reached a point in our collective societal evolution where being self-taught is more crucial now more than ever.

To convince you further, here’s 5 reasons why everyone should engage in some form of self-teaching and self-learning.

Reason#1: Skyrocketing costs of learning

For many Americans and those in the Western world, the educational system has failed them.

As of this writing, collegiate student loan debt stands at 1.5 TRILLION dollars. That’s almost more than the combined total for auto loans and credit card debt.

One would think that all of this would be worth it in the form of something like better wages and a guaranteed, but wage growth has remained stagnant while inflation rises.

The unwritten “social contract” is this: go to school, graduate, get a nice and secure job. That’s the cultural narrative.

But what’s not talked about is how many people go to school for “worthless degrees”. They come out on the other side with a ton of student loan debt and little hope for the future.

If someone wants to get a career in a “worthless field”, there’s got to be a better way to do it.

Reason # 2: Builds patience

Learning is not an overnight endeavor. It takes time for your brain to internalize information and sort it out, applying it to where it needs to be applied.

This is the complete opposite of our current world. We live in an instant gratification, “gotta have it NOW” society. We want results delivered to us on a hot, steaming platter with a silver spoon (hold the mayo).

When you start to learn and internalize information on your own, you will respect the process and develop patience.

Reason#3: Being an autodidact encourages self-mastery

When you don’t have someone constantly “cracking the whip” behind you to turn in assignments and prepare for pop quizzes, it then becomes your burden to learn what you have to learn.

Undergoing any form of personal or professional development requires a lot of sacrifice, discipline, and planning.

Not everyone will be up to the task but those that are will have the extra edge.

Reason # 4: Self-learning gives you that “extra edge”

Here’s the deal: most people learn what they need to learn in school and that’s it.

A degree from an accredited institution will not make you “set for life”. This is a sugarcoated fantasy, as explained in the first reason.

For myself, most of what I learned in college is now obsolete or on its way to becoming obsolete and I didn’t graduate that long ago. Relying on outdated information is like trying to use a 1990 IBM computer to run a complex computer script.

The world of tomorrow belongs to those who learn and internalize information at a deep level faster than their peers.

When you are constantly used to learning and you learn stuff that actually interests you, becoming an autodidact is a breeze. This means keeping ahead of the job market competition and getting further ahead in your career will be an easy feat.

You’ll be making the wave, not being the one riding it.

Become an autodidact today

After reading this article, I’d hope that you’ll decide to dedicate your life to learning more on your own. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to college. College is essential if you’re trying to major in something “hard” like becoming a doctor or a surgeon. Even those guys read in their field every day, learn new techniques, and experiment from knowledge they gained on their own.

I’d encourage you to think about your life path. Look ahead to the future and ask yourself: “what knowledge and skills will I need in X amount of years?” Figure that out, then go to work on developing those skills.

If you’re waiting for someone to come and tell you what you should learn and should do… you’ll be waiting a long, long time.

So don’t wait because if you jump in you can see how far your curiosity can take you.

---

Sim Campbell has made it his mission to examine what it means to live an expansive and fulfilling life in the modern world as a young emerging man. He talks about this on Unstoppable Rise, a site dedicated to relentless personal development with a strong philosophical slant.

You’ve read 5 Compelling Reasons for Becoming An Autodidact in the Modern Era, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2tJ00XS

You’re reading 5 Compelling Reasons for Becoming An Autodidact in the Modern Era, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Autodidact.

That’s the word for someone who engages in self-learning and self-teaching. Most of our culturally cherished individuals were/are considered autodidacts. Many of these figures are from bygone eras (Abraham Lincoln, Michael Faraday, The Wright Brothers, etc.) but we have reached a point in our collective societal evolution where being self-taught is more crucial now more than ever.

To convince you further, here’s 5 reasons why everyone should engage in some form of self-teaching and self-learning.

Reason#1: Skyrocketing costs of learning

For many Americans and those in the Western world, the educational system has failed them.

As of this writing, collegiate student loan debt stands at 1.5 TRILLION dollars. That’s almost more than the combined total for auto loans and credit card debt.

One would think that all of this would be worth it in the form of something like better wages and a guaranteed, but wage growth has remained stagnant while inflation rises.

The unwritten “social contract” is this: go to school, graduate, get a nice and secure job. That’s the cultural narrative.

But what’s not talked about is how many people go to school for “worthless degrees”. They come out on the other side with a ton of student loan debt and little hope for the future.

If someone wants to get a career in a “worthless field”, there’s got to be a better way to do it.

Reason # 2: Builds patience

Learning is not an overnight endeavor. It takes time for your brain to internalize information and sort it out, applying it to where it needs to be applied.

This is the complete opposite of our current world. We live in an instant gratification, “gotta have it NOW” society. We want results delivered to us on a hot, steaming platter with a silver spoon (hold the mayo).

When you start to learn and internalize information on your own, you will respect the process and develop patience.

Reason#3: Being an autodidact encourages self-mastery

When you don’t have someone constantly “cracking the whip” behind you to turn in assignments and prepare for pop quizzes, it then becomes your burden to learn what you have to learn.

Undergoing any form of personal or professional development requires a lot of sacrifice, discipline, and planning.

Not everyone will be up to the task but those that are will have the extra edge.

Reason # 4: Self-learning gives you that “extra edge”

Here’s the deal: most people learn what they need to learn in school and that’s it.

A degree from an accredited institution will not make you “set for life”. This is a sugarcoated fantasy, as explained in the first reason.

For myself, most of what I learned in college is now obsolete or on its way to becoming obsolete and I didn’t graduate that long ago. Relying on outdated information is like trying to use a 1990 IBM computer to run a complex computer script.

The world of tomorrow belongs to those who learn and internalize information at a deep level faster than their peers.

When you are constantly used to learning and you learn stuff that actually interests you, becoming an autodidact is a breeze. This means keeping ahead of the job market competition and getting further ahead in your career will be an easy feat.

You’ll be making the wave, not being the one riding it.

Become an autodidact today

After reading this article, I’d hope that you’ll decide to dedicate your life to learning more on your own. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to college. College is essential if you’re trying to major in something “hard” like becoming a doctor or a surgeon. Even those guys read in their field every day, learn new techniques, and experiment from knowledge they gained on their own.

I’d encourage you to think about your life path. Look ahead to the future and ask yourself: “what knowledge and skills will I need in X amount of years?” Figure that out, then go to work on developing those skills.

If you’re waiting for someone to come and tell you what you should learn and should do… you’ll be waiting a long, long time.

So don’t wait because if you jump in you can see how far your curiosity can take you.

---

Sim Campbell has made it his mission to examine what it means to live an expansive and fulfilling life in the modern world as a young emerging man. He talks about this on Unstoppable Rise, a site dedicated to relentless personal development with a strong philosophical slant.

You’ve read 5 Compelling Reasons for Becoming An Autodidact in the Modern Era, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2tJ00XS

You’re reading 7 Nuggets to Help You Take Control of Your Life After Abuse, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you have been abused, it is very likely that you will feel the effects of that abuse in all your future relationships.  It could be with your spouse, your friends, your family, and your children. Imagine what it would be like if you could be free from the memories of that abuse – if you could see the world the same as someone who had a normal childhood.

1. Love and Trust

Abuse teaches children that the abusive behavior is normal. When children are abused by people who say they love them, they come to connect love with pain, fear, domination, and secrecy. As those children grow up, they encounter others who say they love them and want to comfort them. The very feeling of being loved is connected to the emotions of fear and dread.

Children are not able to distinguish between the behavior of one trusted adult and another. If one adult is able to do hurtful things, it seems that all adults can do hurtful things. The abuse survivor learn to be suspicious of platonic adult relationships.

When people are abused, they often don’t even realize how the abuse affects their interactions with other people. They think that people are only nice to them when they want something from them, but they think that this is true of everyone and that people who trust others are simply naive.

Abuse survivors often become self-destructive and isolationist, and many times they truly cannot understand why other people are not equally suspicious of others. The memories become so deeply ingrained that the abuse survivors do not even realize that those memories are affecting their current beliefs and habits.

If you are an abuse survivor, you might think that these habits and traits cannot be erased. The good news is, it is possible to take back control and to learn to trust the people who love you.

2. Family Interactions

Psychologists have compared childhood abuse with the trauma soldiers experience in war. Just like soldiers, too, abused children develop survival skills such as resilience, courage, and inner strength. However, these skills come at a terrible price.

Abuse survivors see the family as a single unit, and they see suffering as the price that has to be paid for being part of the family unit. They often see adults as compassion less tyrants, and they feel powerless against adults, even once they themselves become adults.

As abuse survivors grow up, they may develop problems with authority, or they may find it difficult to gain the confidence and self-respect they need as adults to be able to function in the real world.

3. A Mother’s Love

Children depend on their mothers to make everything better, but this idea does not ring true to survivors of abuse. Even when the mother did not know anything about the abuse, the child often interprets the abuse as a failure on the part of the mother to protect the child. This may grow into resentment as the child grows up.

Frequently, abuse survivors avoid being dependent on others in their adult lives. When they do have to depend on others, they often feel helplessness and anger, or they may even become depressed or develop panic attacks. Abuse survivors are likely to try to get out of any situation that starts to seem stressful or dangerous.

4. Hyper-awareness

You may often believe that it is your fault that you got abused. You internalize the concept of punishment and think that you are suffering because you are a bad person. This belief causes enormous harm as abused children become adults.

Because of the experience, abuse survivors tend to become hyper-aware of other people’s moods. They connect heightened emotions in other people with the threat of punishment. They become distressed at even the smallest conflict or confrontation, and they want to remove themselves as soon as possible from such situations.

5. Psychological Barriers

One of the most common coping mechanisms for survivors of physical abuse is the building up of psychological barriers. This process is known as dissociation, and it happens when people create a barrier (dissociation) between their “true selves” and their bodies. So someone else might be abusing their bodies, but their “true selves” are somewhere else.

Dissociation is a serious psychological problem, though it is completely understandable why it develops in abuse survivors. In adulthood, survivors are likely to have a psychological barrier between themselves and other people. This causes intimacy problems, can cause panic reactions at being touched, and ultimately can cause major problems in relationships.

If you are aware of having barriers like this in your relationships, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you can make choices now to remove those barriers and enjoy a better life starting today!

6. Healthy Boundaries

Many abuse survivors fear all people and avoid all relationships. Many others, though, find that the abuse makes it harder for them to set healthy boundaries.

They are more likely to let other people treat them badly because they do not know what is normal and healthy in relationships. They are thus more likely to enter into abusive relationships as an adult, thus perpetuating the cycle.

7. Changing Your Outlook

If you are an abuse survivor, you are not doomed to repeat the same patterns that your previous abuse caused! You can change your outlook by changing the effects that your memories have on you.

The first step is to understand that not everyone sees relationships and other people in the same way. This realization can help you begin to develop non-destructive feelings toward yourself and others, and can help you start to change your outlook.

You already have the persistence and courage to have gotten this far. These positive qualities can work for you and help you learn to respond to situations and people in new ways. This is a skill you can learn and it will help you free up from the trap of your own memories of abuse.

8. The Mind Resonance Process

About a decade ago, scientists discovered that it is actually possible to clear away bad memories. This means you can restore your mind to the way it was before the damage was done. Through this process, you can become free from feelings of shame and guilt. Any emotional scarring you have from your past will no longer affect how you feel and act in the present.

You can completely eliminate the self-doubt and self-hatred that is so common among abuse survivors. You can learn to judge yourself by a different, healthier set of criteria. When you talk to others, you will no longer respond based on your negative assumptions and your bad memories.

As a child, you depend on adults to help you learn right from wrong and true from false. An adult is no longer bound by the barriers created from that experience. You can learn the truth for yourself and take control of your own life. You can get rid of those negative memories that are holding you back, and you can give yourself a better future with the Mind Resonance Process.

---

Adoga Godwin is a inspirational writer and art educator who loves to help other improve on themselves.

You’ve read 7 Nuggets to Help You Take Control of Your Life After Abuse, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2u6T1Ks

You’re reading 7 Nuggets to Help You Take Control of Your Life After Abuse, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you have been abused, it is very likely that you will feel the effects of that abuse in all your future relationships.  It could be with your spouse, your friends, your family, and your children. Imagine what it would be like if you could be free from the memories of that abuse – if you could see the world the same as someone who had a normal childhood.

1. Love and Trust

Abuse teaches children that the abusive behavior is normal. When children are abused by people who say they love them, they come to connect love with pain, fear, domination, and secrecy. As those children grow up, they encounter others who say they love them and want to comfort them. The very feeling of being loved is connected to the emotions of fear and dread.

Children are not able to distinguish between the behavior of one trusted adult and another. If one adult is able to do hurtful things, it seems that all adults can do hurtful things. The abuse survivor learn to be suspicious of platonic adult relationships.

When people are abused, they often don’t even realize how the abuse affects their interactions with other people. They think that people are only nice to them when they want something from them, but they think that this is true of everyone and that people who trust others are simply naive.

Abuse survivors often become self-destructive and isolationist, and many times they truly cannot understand why other people are not equally suspicious of others. The memories become so deeply ingrained that the abuse survivors do not even realize that those memories are affecting their current beliefs and habits.

If you are an abuse survivor, you might think that these habits and traits cannot be erased. The good news is, it is possible to take back control and to learn to trust the people who love you.

2. Family Interactions

Psychologists have compared childhood abuse with the trauma soldiers experience in war. Just like soldiers, too, abused children develop survival skills such as resilience, courage, and inner strength. However, these skills come at a terrible price.

Abuse survivors see the family as a single unit, and they see suffering as the price that has to be paid for being part of the family unit. They often see adults as compassion less tyrants, and they feel powerless against adults, even once they themselves become adults.

As abuse survivors grow up, they may develop problems with authority, or they may find it difficult to gain the confidence and self-respect they need as adults to be able to function in the real world.

3. A Mother’s Love

Children depend on their mothers to make everything better, but this idea does not ring true to survivors of abuse. Even when the mother did not know anything about the abuse, the child often interprets the abuse as a failure on the part of the mother to protect the child. This may grow into resentment as the child grows up.

Frequently, abuse survivors avoid being dependent on others in their adult lives. When they do have to depend on others, they often feel helplessness and anger, or they may even become depressed or develop panic attacks. Abuse survivors are likely to try to get out of any situation that starts to seem stressful or dangerous.

4. Hyper-awareness

You may often believe that it is your fault that you got abused. You internalize the concept of punishment and think that you are suffering because you are a bad person. This belief causes enormous harm as abused children become adults.

Because of the experience, abuse survivors tend to become hyper-aware of other people’s moods. They connect heightened emotions in other people with the threat of punishment. They become distressed at even the smallest conflict or confrontation, and they want to remove themselves as soon as possible from such situations.

5. Psychological Barriers

One of the most common coping mechanisms for survivors of physical abuse is the building up of psychological barriers. This process is known as dissociation, and it happens when people create a barrier (dissociation) between their “true selves” and their bodies. So someone else might be abusing their bodies, but their “true selves” are somewhere else.

Dissociation is a serious psychological problem, though it is completely understandable why it develops in abuse survivors. In adulthood, survivors are likely to have a psychological barrier between themselves and other people. This causes intimacy problems, can cause panic reactions at being touched, and ultimately can cause major problems in relationships.

If you are aware of having barriers like this in your relationships, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you can make choices now to remove those barriers and enjoy a better life starting today!

6. Healthy Boundaries

Many abuse survivors fear all people and avoid all relationships. Many others, though, find that the abuse makes it harder for them to set healthy boundaries.

They are more likely to let other people treat them badly because they do not know what is normal and healthy in relationships. They are thus more likely to enter into abusive relationships as an adult, thus perpetuating the cycle.

7. Changing Your Outlook

If you are an abuse survivor, you are not doomed to repeat the same patterns that your previous abuse caused! You can change your outlook by changing the effects that your memories have on you.

The first step is to understand that not everyone sees relationships and other people in the same way. This realization can help you begin to develop non-destructive feelings toward yourself and others, and can help you start to change your outlook.

You already have the persistence and courage to have gotten this far. These positive qualities can work for you and help you learn to respond to situations and people in new ways. This is a skill you can learn and it will help you free up from the trap of your own memories of abuse.

8. The Mind Resonance Process

About a decade ago, scientists discovered that it is actually possible to clear away bad memories. This means you can restore your mind to the way it was before the damage was done. Through this process, you can become free from feelings of shame and guilt. Any emotional scarring you have from your past will no longer affect how you feel and act in the present.

You can completely eliminate the self-doubt and self-hatred that is so common among abuse survivors. You can learn to judge yourself by a different, healthier set of criteria. When you talk to others, you will no longer respond based on your negative assumptions and your bad memories.

As a child, you depend on adults to help you learn right from wrong and true from false. An adult is no longer bound by the barriers created from that experience. You can learn the truth for yourself and take control of your own life. You can get rid of those negative memories that are holding you back, and you can give yourself a better future with the Mind Resonance Process.

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Adoga Godwin is a inspirational writer and art educator who loves to help other improve on themselves.

You’ve read 7 Nuggets to Help You Take Control of Your Life After Abuse, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s absolutely normal to feel powerless when you encounter stress, but to think that there’s nothing you can do about it is definitely not normal. You can avoid things from getting out of control by taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, lifestyle, and your ways of facing certain life situations.

Where does stress come from?

You often think that everything boils down to deadlines. If only the tick of the clock is much slower and if deadlines don’t exist, everything would be much easier. Sometimes you blame your failures to somebody or to a circumstance where in fact, the real problem is just the way you perceive stress.

It’s best to identify where the stress is coming from in order for you to identify a way to defeat it. Take a closer look at people’s most common perception.

• Stress is eternal.
• Stress is an integral part of themselves and abode.
• People pass the blame to other people, things or events by keeping their hands clean.

If you perceive stress  in a wrong way, you won’t be able to defeat it. That’s for sure!

1. Have Some Daily Physical Activities

Get yourself moving. There is power in perspiration that can defeat stress. A few push-ups, curl-ups and an hour or two of jogging can make a difference in your emotional state. Meanwhile, as you perform different types of physical activities, bad elements that are causing your stress are gradually reduced. It burns away your anger, frustration, and tension, especially at work.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Allot 10 minutes for a burst of activity where you can elevate your heart and make you all sweaty.

2. Stay Available for Social Communication

Social communication is helpful to reduce stress. Have you ever talked to somebody you’re so comfortable with that at the end of the conversation you felt so relieved?

Several parts of our body are interconnected. When having a conversation, our face, ear, heart, and stomach are in unison with our brain that’s why when someone listens to us, we get calm so quickly.

Therefore, stay available for social engagement as this can help lower the level of threat you feel towards the internal and external events in your life.

3. Eliminate Unnecessary Stress

Yes, there are many stress-causing activities that are unpredictable, but there are some you can easily predict. And when you figure them out, try to eliminate them.

I’m referring to that stressful commute you’ve been suffering from these past months. That also includes your meetings with your boss and some relationship issues. At times like these, it’s either you change the situation or change your reaction.

Learn to stick to what you can only do at the moment. Stress occurs when you take in a lot of workloads and sacrifice your personal life in return. Your professional career might be important, but so does your personal life. So learn how to say “no” sometimes and allocate some of your time on things that make you happy.

Avoid stress-causing people. If there’s someone in your life who has been the constant trigger of your stress, start avoiding that person from now on.

Encourage environment control. If the news gives you headaches, turn off your TV. If you often encounter traffic on your commute to work, track the less-traveled route. You see? There are stressful things in life which you can successfully eliminate.

4. Change the Situation

If you can’t avoid the situation, change it! This might involve the way you communicate and face different situations in your life.

Learn to speak your heart’s content. Sometimes stress comes from not letting your heart be heard. If someone who is assertive tries to bother you, then voice out your concerns – but in a respectful way. For example, if you need to review for your exam and your friend suddenly comes in your room for a chit-chat, tell your friend honestly that you can only spare 5 minutes of conversation.

Learn to compromise. When you encourage someone to change, you need to be an example yourself. Compromising and bending a little will enable you to overcome stress in having bad relationships.

Learn to manage your time wisely. Plan ahead! Time management can help you stay calm and focused regardless of the current situation you are in.

5. Adapt to Stress-causing Elements

How should you deal with stress when problems are too difficult to avoid?

Your mind has the greatest influence towards stress so when you learn  how to change your expectations and attitude towards pressuring situations, you can defeat stress easily. Stay positive. When you are caught in a bad traffic, don’t you think it’s a good time to listen to your favorite music? Instead of letting those eyebrows collide in worry, try to calm yourself by changing the way you think about the situation.

Take a clear overview of the picture. Is that stress worth every bit of your suffering? If you answer no, then divert your focus to something else.

Lower down your standards. Are you a perfectionist? If you are, then learn how to lower down your standards, accept mistakes, and go for accomplishments like “good enough.”

Don’t let your stressful situation devour all the happy things in your life. Defeat it and enjoy life to its fullest!

You’ve read 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2utFijl

You’re reading 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s absolutely normal to feel powerless when you encounter stress, but to think that there’s nothing you can do about it is definitely not normal. You can avoid things from getting out of control by taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, lifestyle, and your ways of facing certain life situations.

Where does stress come from?

You often think that everything boils down to deadlines. If only the tick of the clock is much slower and if deadlines don’t exist, everything would be much easier. Sometimes you blame your failures to somebody or to a circumstance where in fact, the real problem is just the way you perceive stress.

It’s best to identify where the stress is coming from in order for you to identify a way to defeat it. Take a closer look at people’s most common perception.

• Stress is eternal.
• Stress is an integral part of themselves and abode.
• People pass the blame to other people, things or events by keeping their hands clean.

If you perceive stress  in a wrong way, you won’t be able to defeat it. That’s for sure!

1. Have Some Daily Physical Activities

Get yourself moving. There is power in perspiration that can defeat stress. A few push-ups, curl-ups and an hour or two of jogging can make a difference in your emotional state. Meanwhile, as you perform different types of physical activities, bad elements that are causing your stress are gradually reduced. It burns away your anger, frustration, and tension, especially at work.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Allot 10 minutes for a burst of activity where you can elevate your heart and make you all sweaty.

2. Stay Available for Social Communication

Social communication is helpful to reduce stress. Have you ever talked to somebody you’re so comfortable with that at the end of the conversation you felt so relieved?

Several parts of our body are interconnected. When having a conversation, our face, ear, heart, and stomach are in unison with our brain that’s why when someone listens to us, we get calm so quickly.

Therefore, stay available for social engagement as this can help lower the level of threat you feel towards the internal and external events in your life.

3. Eliminate Unnecessary Stress

Yes, there are many stress-causing activities that are unpredictable, but there are some you can easily predict. And when you figure them out, try to eliminate them.

I’m referring to that stressful commute you’ve been suffering from these past months. That also includes your meetings with your boss and some relationship issues. At times like these, it’s either you change the situation or change your reaction.

Learn to stick to what you can only do at the moment. Stress occurs when you take in a lot of workloads and sacrifice your personal life in return. Your professional career might be important, but so does your personal life. So learn how to say “no” sometimes and allocate some of your time on things that make you happy.

Avoid stress-causing people. If there’s someone in your life who has been the constant trigger of your stress, start avoiding that person from now on.

Encourage environment control. If the news gives you headaches, turn off your TV. If you often encounter traffic on your commute to work, track the less-traveled route. You see? There are stressful things in life which you can successfully eliminate.

4. Change the Situation

If you can’t avoid the situation, change it! This might involve the way you communicate and face different situations in your life.

Learn to speak your heart’s content. Sometimes stress comes from not letting your heart be heard. If someone who is assertive tries to bother you, then voice out your concerns – but in a respectful way. For example, if you need to review for your exam and your friend suddenly comes in your room for a chit-chat, tell your friend honestly that you can only spare 5 minutes of conversation.

Learn to compromise. When you encourage someone to change, you need to be an example yourself. Compromising and bending a little will enable you to overcome stress in having bad relationships.

Learn to manage your time wisely. Plan ahead! Time management can help you stay calm and focused regardless of the current situation you are in.

5. Adapt to Stress-causing Elements

How should you deal with stress when problems are too difficult to avoid?

Your mind has the greatest influence towards stress so when you learn  how to change your expectations and attitude towards pressuring situations, you can defeat stress easily. Stay positive. When you are caught in a bad traffic, don’t you think it’s a good time to listen to your favorite music? Instead of letting those eyebrows collide in worry, try to calm yourself by changing the way you think about the situation.

Take a clear overview of the picture. Is that stress worth every bit of your suffering? If you answer no, then divert your focus to something else.

Lower down your standards. Are you a perfectionist? If you are, then learn how to lower down your standards, accept mistakes, and go for accomplishments like “good enough.”

Don’t let your stressful situation devour all the happy things in your life. Defeat it and enjoy life to its fullest!

You’ve read 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2utFijl