Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm

You’re reading Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

slay stress

Every night is the same thing…

You’re lying in bed, but you can’t sleep.

You try sleeping on your left side. You try sleeping on your right side. You try sleeping on your back. But still, you’re wide awake.

Too many things are going on in your life. You simply can’t shut down your mind.

Maybe your relationship is going downhill or your family is falling apart.

Maybe you owe more money than you make, and you’re worried about ending up living in a card box on the street.

Maybe you’re too busy and the pace of modern life is killing you.

But whatever your case is, you can’t cope with stress anymore.

And you may think the answer to stopping feeling this way is to keep your head down and solve your problems.

If you fix your relationship or find a better job or get your pending work done, you should feel more relaxed, right?

Well, yes and no.

Life is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs. Even if you solve your current problems, more and more challenges will come in the future.

Thus, the answer lies not in solving your problems, but in learning to handle stress every time it seizes you.

And that’s exactly what this post contains. I’ll show you four original ideas to find the calm you’re looking for.

1. Kick Someone’s Butt

Admit it…sometimes you feel like kicking some butt. You’re so stressed and would love to pick a fight with a random stranger to let off some steam. I mean, blacken their eyes, bloody their nose, and kick them in the balls.

Now, if you expect me to say “Don’t do it,” I won’t. Few things are more crushing than swallowing your anger. If you can’t cope with it, you better let it go, somehow.

But before you start thinking I’m a juiced up jock who loves getting into random bar fights, let me explain my point.

Instead of fighting with random people on the street, visit your local gym. See if they offer some kind of fighting lessons—such as MMA or Boxing—and join the class.

Generally speaking, these places are safe, and you can fight with people at your “level.”

It’s a fantastic way to relieve some stress without ending up with a broken nose or leg.

2. Let The Rain Wash Away Your Stress

For some strange reason, we seem to relax when we listen to the heavenly sound of rain.

Think about it. What’s more relaxing than sitting on your window seat cushion on a rainy day? The mere fact of witnessing this glorious show of nature seems to shut up our inner demons and help us find calm.

Now, wouldn’t be wonderful that every time you felt stressed, you could listen to the rain?

Now you can.

This free app from SimplyNoise allows you to switch on the sound of rain at any time, anywhere you go.

So next time you feel overwhelmed, put on your headphones and let the rain wash away your stress.

3. Apply This 20-Second Relaxation Trick

Every time you feel cornered by negative emotions, apply this simple exercise:

Step 1: Close your eyes and bring to your mind something that makes you happy. Anything you’re grateful for in life. It can be a good memory, a person, a thing, a job or whatever. If you’re genuinely thankful for it, it will work.

Step 2: Sharpen the image in your mind. Think about the details. How does it feel having this “thing” in your life? Does it make you feel happy? Or blessed? Or excited? Capture these feelings and try to make them vivid.

The point of this short exercise is to fill your mind with happy thoughts. If these thoughts are clear enough, you should start feeling more relaxed. So make sure to “sharpen” this mental image as much as you can.

“Simple,” You think, “But does it really work?”

The answer lies in understanding two things:

First, you can’t feel more than one emotion at a time. If you’re happy or excited or peaceful, you can’t feel stressed simultaneously.

And second, your thoughts dictate how you feel. If you think stressful things, you’ll feel stressed. If you stuff your brain with peaceful thoughts, you’ll feel more peaceful.

It’s that simple.

4. Embrace Minimalism

We live in a complex world.

Every day, we’re bombarded with a myriad of “micro” choices…

What outfit should I wear today? What do I want for breakfast? Should I get to work or just sit on my couch and watch some TV? Should I post a new status on my Facebook wall? Should I go to that party or get some rest? Whatever. You get the point.

At first glance, these questions seem harmless. But having to make so many decisions every day makes you accumulate stress (the price of modern life, huh?).

Now, minimalism can make your life way simpler. How? By emptying your life from all that unnecessary stuff.

Have a pair of shoes you don’t use? Why not give them to charity? Have a bunch of nonworking devices stored in your garage? Why not get rid of them? Why not get rid of your TV, by the way? Tough choice. I know. But if you think about it, you’ll realize you can live without it.

Label all your possessions with “I need it” and “I don’t need it,” and put all your garbage where it should be…in the trash can.

I promise. You’ll feel way better after that.

It’s Time to Find Your Calm

Stop for a moment and ask yourself:

“Am I willing to find my calm?”

You see, many people complain about how stressed they are. But when the time comes to do something about it, they hesitate. They aren’t willing to move from their comfort zone and take action.

And now it’s time to decide once and for all. Are you serious about supporting yourself in this journey?

If you’re serious, then pick one of the ideas you learned today, and apply it.

Because that’s the first step to turning your ugly life into a great one.


Andy Poncebot is on a lifelong mission to help people discover who they truly are and to make their empty, boring life, sparkle. Take his 9-question quiz:  “What Ancient Mantra Better Fits Your Personality?” to learn more about yourself and see how a simple group of words can transform your life forever.

You’ve read Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm

You’re reading Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

slay stress

Every night is the same thing…

You’re lying in bed, but you can’t sleep.

You try sleeping on your left side. You try sleeping on your right side. You try sleeping on your back. But still, you’re wide awake.

Too many things are going on in your life. You simply can’t shut down your mind.

Maybe your relationship is going downhill or your family is falling apart.

Maybe you owe more money than you make, and you’re worried about ending up living in a card box on the street.

Maybe you’re too busy and the pace of modern life is killing you.

But whatever your case is, you can’t cope with stress anymore.

And you may think the answer to stopping feeling this way is to keep your head down and solve your problems.

If you fix your relationship or find a better job or get your pending work done, you should feel more relaxed, right?

Well, yes and no.

Life is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs. Even if you solve your current problems, more and more challenges will come in the future.

Thus, the answer lies not in solving your problems, but in learning to handle stress every time it seizes you.

And that’s exactly what this post contains. I’ll show you four original ideas to find the calm you’re looking for.

1. Kick Someone’s Butt

Admit it…sometimes you feel like kicking some butt. You’re so stressed and would love to pick a fight with a random stranger to let off some steam. I mean, blacken their eyes, bloody their nose, and kick them in the balls.

Now, if you expect me to say “Don’t do it,” I won’t. Few things are more crushing than swallowing your anger. If you can’t cope with it, you better let it go, somehow.

But before you start thinking I’m a juiced up jock who loves getting into random bar fights, let me explain my point.

Instead of fighting with random people on the street, visit your local gym. See if they offer some kind of fighting lessons—such as MMA or Boxing—and join the class.

Generally speaking, these places are safe, and you can fight with people at your “level.”

It’s a fantastic way to relieve some stress without ending up with a broken nose or leg.

2. Let The Rain Wash Away Your Stress

For some strange reason, we seem to relax when we listen to the heavenly sound of rain.

Think about it. What’s more relaxing than sitting on your window seat cushion on a rainy day? The mere fact of witnessing this glorious show of nature seems to shut up our inner demons and help us find calm.

Now, wouldn’t be wonderful that every time you felt stressed, you could listen to the rain?

Now you can.

This free app from SimplyNoise allows you to switch on the sound of rain at any time, anywhere you go.

So next time you feel overwhelmed, put on your headphones and let the rain wash away your stress.

3. Apply This 20-Second Relaxation Trick

Every time you feel cornered by negative emotions, apply this simple exercise:

Step 1: Close your eyes and bring to your mind something that makes you happy. Anything you’re grateful for in life. It can be a good memory, a person, a thing, a job or whatever. If you’re genuinely thankful for it, it will work.

Step 2: Sharpen the image in your mind. Think about the details. How does it feel having this “thing” in your life? Does it make you feel happy? Or blessed? Or excited? Capture these feelings and try to make them vivid.

The point of this short exercise is to fill your mind with happy thoughts. If these thoughts are clear enough, you should start feeling more relaxed. So make sure to “sharpen” this mental image as much as you can.

“Simple,” You think, “But does it really work?”

The answer lies in understanding two things:

First, you can’t feel more than one emotion at a time. If you’re happy or excited or peaceful, you can’t feel stressed simultaneously.

And second, your thoughts dictate how you feel. If you think stressful things, you’ll feel stressed. If you stuff your brain with peaceful thoughts, you’ll feel more peaceful.

It’s that simple.

4. Embrace Minimalism

We live in a complex world.

Every day, we’re bombarded with a myriad of “micro” choices…

What outfit should I wear today? What do I want for breakfast? Should I get to work or just sit on my couch and watch some TV? Should I post a new status on my Facebook wall? Should I go to that party or get some rest? Whatever. You get the point.

At first glance, these questions seem harmless. But having to make so many decisions every day makes you accumulate stress (the price of modern life, huh?).

Now, minimalism can make your life way simpler. How? By emptying your life from all that unnecessary stuff.

Have a pair of shoes you don’t use? Why not give them to charity? Have a bunch of nonworking devices stored in your garage? Why not get rid of them? Why not get rid of your TV, by the way? Tough choice. I know. But if you think about it, you’ll realize you can live without it.

Label all your possessions with “I need it” and “I don’t need it,” and put all your garbage where it should be…in the trash can.

I promise. You’ll feel way better after that.

It’s Time to Find Your Calm

Stop for a moment and ask yourself:

“Am I willing to find my calm?”

You see, many people complain about how stressed they are. But when the time comes to do something about it, they hesitate. They aren’t willing to move from their comfort zone and take action.

And now it’s time to decide once and for all. Are you serious about supporting yourself in this journey?

If you’re serious, then pick one of the ideas you learned today, and apply it.

Because that’s the first step to turning your ugly life into a great one.


Andy Poncebot is on a lifelong mission to help people discover who they truly are and to make their empty, boring life, sparkle. Take his 9-question quiz:  “What Ancient Mantra Better Fits Your Personality?” to learn more about yourself and see how a simple group of words can transform your life forever.

You’ve read Slay Stress: 4 Ideas For People Who Can’t Find Their Calm, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict

You’re reading The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Holding hands

Holding hands

Based on the acclaimed book, Peace Q: Increasing the Capacity for Peace Within and Beyond by Jennifer Freed, PhD.

Fighting in a relationship is not a big problem. How you fight with a mate or a friend is the real issue. John Gottman’s research shows arguments and perpetual issues are healthy in committed relationships as long as couples know how to resolve difficulties as they arise. If you are authentic and honest, you will disagree with your partner, get hurt and be angry at times. Working through hurt and anger are the pathway for true intimacy.

Couples that report high satisfaction in their relationships know how to work with the inevitable ruptures or disagreements that come up from time to time. These couples can find humor in the reoccurring themes of their arguments. 

On the other hand, making a wall out of anger leads to distance and contempt. Bad habit fighters rarely feel they have resolution or closeness from conflict. They usually live in a world of emotional bruises that never seem to heal.

Signs of bad fighting habits

Using five or more of these tactics mans you are eroding healthy relationships and need to learn the good fight. It’s never too late to learn better communication. Here are the signs:

  • Blaming your partner for their faults
  • Calling your partner names or expletives
  • Lashing out when you are inebriated
  • Cutting your partner off when you are hurt
  • Responding to your partner’s complaints with your own
  • Shouting
  • Threatening to leave the relationship / physical violence

Good fight tactics all involve one premise: being close than right. Unfortunately, most people have been taught they must fight to win. Winning means losing love.

Ground Rules

  • Only one person talks at a time
  • Take time out to cool down – it’s healthy and helpful when one person becomes flooded with uncontrollable emotion
  • Agree on a time to talk and make time for an in-depth discussion
  • Understand the differences presented in the conflict
  • Choose a physical location that protects your privacy and offers an opportunity to express vulnerable emotions
  • Both parties are rested and sober

Signs of a good fighter

  • Accountability for behavior
  • Making requests instead of complaints
  • Listening more than speaking
  • Willing to reveal fears and vulnerabilities
  • Acknowledging your partner’s point of view

The good fight is a fight for love instead of righteousness. A battle for true understanding instead of revenge and a struggle for authentic revelation instead of defensive competition.

You’ve read The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict

You’re reading The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Holding hands

Holding hands

Based on the acclaimed book, Peace Q: Increasing the Capacity for Peace Within and Beyond by Jennifer Freed, PhD.

Fighting in a relationship is not a big problem. How you fight with a mate or a friend is the real issue. John Gottman’s research shows arguments and perpetual issues are healthy in committed relationships as long as couples know how to resolve difficulties as they arise. If you are authentic and honest, you will disagree with your partner, get hurt and be angry at times. Working through hurt and anger are the pathway for true intimacy.

Couples that report high satisfaction in their relationships know how to work with the inevitable ruptures or disagreements that come up from time to time. These couples can find humor in the reoccurring themes of their arguments. 

On the other hand, making a wall out of anger leads to distance and contempt. Bad habit fighters rarely feel they have resolution or closeness from conflict. They usually live in a world of emotional bruises that never seem to heal.

Signs of bad fighting habits

Using five or more of these tactics mans you are eroding healthy relationships and need to learn the good fight. It’s never too late to learn better communication. Here are the signs:

  • Blaming your partner for their faults
  • Calling your partner names or expletives
  • Lashing out when you are inebriated
  • Cutting your partner off when you are hurt
  • Responding to your partner’s complaints with your own
  • Shouting
  • Threatening to leave the relationship / physical violence

Good fight tactics all involve one premise: being close than right. Unfortunately, most people have been taught they must fight to win. Winning means losing love.

Ground Rules

  • Only one person talks at a time
  • Take time out to cool down – it’s healthy and helpful when one person becomes flooded with uncontrollable emotion
  • Agree on a time to talk and make time for an in-depth discussion
  • Understand the differences presented in the conflict
  • Choose a physical location that protects your privacy and offers an opportunity to express vulnerable emotions
  • Both parties are rested and sober

Signs of a good fighter

  • Accountability for behavior
  • Making requests instead of complaints
  • Listening more than speaking
  • Willing to reveal fears and vulnerabilities
  • Acknowledging your partner’s point of view

The good fight is a fight for love instead of righteousness. A battle for true understanding instead of revenge and a struggle for authentic revelation instead of defensive competition.

You’ve read The Good Fight – How to Get Closer Through Conflict, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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6 Ways to Embrace Jealousy

You’re reading 6 Ways to Embrace Jealousy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.” – Unknown   

In Mandarin Chinese, “a vinegar jar” is referred to as a person with a jealous nature.
As a recovering perfectionist and an overachiever, taming jealousy has been one of my biggest challenge on the self-discovery journey.

Truth be told, I had been a giant “vinegar jar” all my life ever since I was little.  The tiniest situation with minimal threat could spark like a matchstick and prompt a strong, acidic inner fire running through my veins in just a second.  It’s like having a built-in radar that can detect any level of external competition going on in the air…

“Why can she deserve all the attention and love?!”

“Life’s not fair.  I work my heart out also, why can’t I get to that same level?!”

“She’s just born lucky…”

It can go on and on…

Almost all of us have experienced jealousy at varying degrees at one point or another.  And It’s part of being human to experience different emotions.  It’s normal to get jealous at people for the things we don’t have yet.  But, often, it causes most of the drama in life.  The need to measure up can really get into our psyche and make us act bizarrely when we don’t allow ourselves to process this awkward emotion.  As a result, it sabotages our relationships with others.

For the sake of looking better than how we really feel inside, we either stuff that jealousy inside or let it turns into resentment.  Either way, we are not getting more compensated emotionally.  We become unauthentic towards how we truly feel and what we want to express.

1. Celebrate others’ success like it’s your own

It’s easier said than done.  We are still living in a world of separation.  Celebrating for other’s success isn’t a natural behavior in this social structure where we honor outstanding performance through constant competition.  But the fact is that we are oneness.  When we enable ourselves to celebrate other’s achievements with genuine blessings and open-heartedness, we are at the receiving end as well.

2. Hone in your unique gift

As human, we tend to rate our work-in-progress with other brilliant performers who share similar talents or gifts.  It’s important to remind ourselves not to fall into the comparison trap so we can focus on honing in our crafts and skills with a growth mindset.

Practice makes proficient, not perfection.  When we are aiming to be perfect, it’s easy to dwell on the need to be better and start beating ourselves up for being inadequate.

Every single one of us is born unique and special in so many different ways.  The biggest difference is how much people allow themselves to appreciate and embody their own gifts and talents without getting into the subconscious competition mode.  There is only one You.  The innate traits in you are non-duplicable.

When you are willing to be comfortable in your own skin, and not to judge yourself by the social norms, you allow the true self-confidence to shine from within unapologetically.

3. You have “that part” to be cultivated

The fact that it’s so hard to celebrate other people’s success is because of our inner longing for the same thing that we don’t seem to have physically.

We are energetic beings.  When things are really distant from your energy field, you don’t perceive them.  But, when you perceive something that stirs up the jealousy in you, it actually means that you are drawing the things approaching your field. Instead of seeing the things as you don’t have them, start looking at it as “the things you want is coming closer to you.”

A mantra: “The more I celebrate for people’s success, the luckier I get.”

4. Count the blessings

We need to consciously heal this part of us that are coming from a place of lack.  Deep down, we are yearning to be more of who we are.  More successful.  More empowering. More purposeful in life.  More authentic.  More self-honoring.

When you feel the wave of jealousy coming at you, it’s a great opportunity, to be honest with yourself.  If the feeling sustains you, or it drains you.

Daily gratitude is the best tool to heal the scarcity in you.  You can use sticky notes to put the word, gratitude everywhere to remind you to count the blessings so your heart can feel nourished.

The more you are grateful for what you have, the more it comes to you.  Don’t go into jealousy for what other people have because that is a block.  You tell the Universe that this is what you don’t have.

5. Exercise compassion

A negative comment can be a form of jealousy.  We can develop more compassion towards the situation when receiving negative judgments from other people.  Empathy is an awesome healer.  Realizing that you probably have something (e.g., physical possessions, talent or gifts) people “desire to have,” and they don’t yet find the way to have it.

It’s important not to let in these energies as they don’t belong to you.  They are merely the projection onto you from others.  Understand where these comments are originated from, but continue to believe in yourself and march towards your dreams and goals instead of being hindered.

6. Open up to authentic communication

Rather than focusing on the negative vibe that jealousy can put on you, look at it as an opportunity to express your vulnerability.  Where is this emotional flare-up coming from?  Is there an underlying fear of loss, abandonment, judgment?

When we give ourselves permission to talk about the deeper feelings behind jealousy, we become more honest and open with not only ourselves, but it supports us build relationships with greater intimacy.


Jen Yang is a Self-Love catalyst, an empath, and a recovering perfectionist. She is passionate about supporting busy professional women to tune into their own feminine power, to feel confident and enthusiastic about their life, relationships, and work, and to claim back their worth.

Website: http://ift.tt/2iGUjVC

 

You’ve read 6 Ways to Embrace Jealousy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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5 Ways to Conquer Stress When Life is Overwhelming You

You’re reading 5 Ways to Conquer Stress When Life is Overwhelming You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I get it, you’re overwhelmed.

You feel like you’re being pulled in every direction.

When you fall into bed at night you wonder where the day went.

You never get any time for yourself. You often give your last ounce of energy to the next person in line who requests another chunk of your precious time.

It’s frustrating.

You can’t cope with all this stress. You can’t help but wonder, will life always be like this?

You know you can’t go on like this for much longer.

Something has to change.

Have a look at these five stress busting strategies I use when life gets chaotic.

1. Say ‘Yes’ More Often

You’ve heard the advice before, just say no! Though sometimes saying no is more stressful than saying yes. If you’re like me, the thought of saying no to someone can trigger all sorts of uncomfortable feelings. Especially when you’re feeling stressed and vulnerable. You don’t want to offend anybody. You don’t want to burn bridges. After all, these people have helped you in the past so why shouldn’t you return the favor? I know the feeling. I found that during times of increased stress it has helped me to say yes, though with a limit.

“Yes, sure, I can pop over and help you with [INSERT FAVOR REQUEST] but I’ve only got thirty minutes to spare.”

By saying yes and including a time limit you remain in control of your time. You aren’t leaving yourself wide open to somebody who might think you have more time on your hands.

2. Don’t Meditate

It’s frustrating to try and sit down for fifteen minutes to meditate when the environment you’re in is noisy and disorderly. I have found it much more beneficial to actually stop meditating completely when life is more stressful than usual. You’ll find yourself feeding your stress by forcing yourself to meditate. If it isn’t going to happen, let it go. Instead, check in with your breathing and practice mindfulness as you go about your daily activities. Doing this for a few minutes a handful of times throughout the day feels much better than sitting for one longer meditation session.

3. Get Out of Bed Earlier

If you live in a chaotic household it’s no fun starting the day feeling stressed. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and leaves you feeling like you’re chasing your tail until bed time. The solution to this is simple. Rather than getting up at the same time as everybody else, get up earlier and use the time for yourself. This could be valuable time to journal, write a to-do list or simply be in silence. You’ll start the day feeling calmer and ready to tackle your priorities

4. Start Having ‘Quiet Time’

If like me you live in a busy and sometimes noisy environment consider implementing just thirty minutes of ‘quiet time’ into your daily routine. Silence can do wonders for reducing stress levels. Research studies conclude that exposure to sounds that are prologued and consistent increase stress levels significantly.

In our house we have decided, as a family, to have thirty minutes of silence every evening. That doesn’t mean you have to sit there staring at each other stifling silly giggles. Use the time productively. The children can either read a book or do some drawing whilst the adults of your household can simply sit with each other, read or just enjoy the moment with your eyes shut.

5. How to Defeat Stress: Render it Powerless!

The clock will never stop ticking. The situations you find yourself in won’t last forever. Everything is temporary. So let go of your frustrations and instead really feel and live what you are going through. Rather than being affected by your emotions stop and take some time to observe them. Flip stress on its head and use it in your favor. I find that when I’m experiencing a particularly stressful period of time, and when I accept that I cannot change the circumstance, I not only handle it a lot better I feel better. When you accept that you cannot control everything that is going on around you start to see it from a different perspective. You start to feel different about the situation and that, ultimately, renders it powerless. You can experience adversity without being affected by it. But it takes work.

There’s no doubt about it, stress sucks.

It’s overwhelming and draining.

When you’re pulled in every direction it feels like your existing, not living.

But you want to change that. And you can.

You can quit this toxic cycle of chaos and start living the calm life you desire.

Just pick one of the strategies above and use it consistently for the next week and see how you feel. Then add another. Over time you’ll start to notice how lighter and happier you feel.

But only you can make it happen.

I’m routing for you.

————

Russell is on a mission to simplify one million overwhelmed lives. He wants to help you gain control of your overwhelming and stressful life so you can live with more calm and fulfillment. Get the free toolkit 14 Ways to Create a Calm Life.

You’ve read 5 Ways to Conquer Stress When Life is Overwhelming You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How to Read a Book a Week (52 Books in 52 Weeks)

You’re reading How to Read a Book a Week (52 Books in 52 Weeks), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

book-a-week

New year resolutions are something that I don’t share publicly.

The goals I write down are personal and most of them won’t be applicable to others. However, I did identify one resolution that I think can be helpful. For the past few years, I’ve stacked books on top of books (virtually) based on recommendations I’ve received from friends, podcast guests, and my personal discoveries.

The problem was: I’ve never made the time (and priority) to set up the right systems to read more books.

Now, I’m laying out a public challenge to you and myself called ‘The BAW (Book A Week) Challenge’.
The goal is simple: read 52 books in one year (one a week; four a month).

*Note: Yes, this is published in March so if you want to participate it can be 48 books.

If you just want the list of books that I’ll be reading, you can scroll down. If you’re interested in participating, read on.

How I’m approaching the reading process

1. Picking 1-3 areas of my life that I want to most improve or optimize

This year, with the goal to find more balance, I’ve decided to pick diversified topics most important in my life: Health & Wellness, Wealth & Business, Biographies. You can decide to go deep in one topic, and just read books on business, or just on health. Personally my ADHD will drive me nuts, but whatever floats your boat!

2. Create a list of books you want to read

Scour the web, browse through Amazon, take some of my suggestions — do whatever you need to get as many recommendations as possible. Make sure it’s from a diversified circle of people or source, so you can get a diversified group of books. Try to go beyond 52 books if you can.

3. Categorize them into the 1-3 areas 

  • If you have more than 2+ topics, you can either:
    • Read 4 books a month on one topic, then 4 books on the next. Or…
    • Diversify by reading books on each topic every month (this is my approach)
  • Have a free for all section
    • This gives you the freedom to either choose a book that is not related to the topics you chose, or read another book around your chosen topic. For me, these are topics around psychology, philosophy, relationships, history, fiction books, and more.

4.  Go through your book list and start adding books in the order that you’re interested in 

What usually works for me is to select topics that I can immediately apply in my life. Otherwise, you feel forced to read something that’s not directly applicable.

Another tip to keep in mind is to do some back research on the length of each book. For example, you wouldn’t want to cram in multiple 400-page books in the span of a month. Unless you’re a reading machine, then all the power to you! And last but not least…

5. Put the rest on your backlog

The backlog is there in case you run into a book that you lose interest in (which happens more often than you think). I’ve found that it’s rarely a good idea to finish a book for the sake of finishing a book. If you’re not vibing with the author, drop it and move on.

 

My last $0.02

  • Take the time to study the process of reading faster. If you’re going to be reading 100,000’s of words, taking a few minutes to increase your reading speed can save you a massive amount of time.
  • Audiobooks can speed up your ‘reading’ MUCH faster. If you can retain non-fiction books in audio format, then this option is highly recommended. Although for certain books that involve more visual representation (such as bodybuilding or nutrition books), I prefer reading them.
  • Even though I’ve resisted Kindle for awhile (I’ve always liked the tangible feeling of books), adopting it into my life has been huge. I no longer have to carry around books when I travel, and I can bring one tablet that contains all of my books.
  • If you slip up and forget to read a book (which will happen), keep going. The real purpose of the challenge is not to read 52 books in 52 weeks, it’s to develop the habits, time management, and reading skills to read more books. As long as you end up reading more books than you normally would, you’ve already won.

Without further ado, here’s my book-a-week reading list. Use and share it as freely as you please.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

The Backlog

Health & Wellness

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Siddhartha by Hermann Herse

Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz

 

Business & Money

What They Don’t Teach You At Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Small Giants by Bo Burlingham

Disrupt You by Jay Samit

Becoming a Category of One by Joe Calloway

 

Biographies

The Churchill Factor by Boris Johnson

Muhammad Ali: His Life And Times by Thomas Hauser

Empire State Of Mind: How Jay-Z Went From Street Corner To Corner Office by Zack O’Malley Greenburg

Churchill: A Life by Martin Gilbert

 

Other

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

On The Shortness of Life by Seneca

Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari 

What If? by Randall Monroe

You’ve read How to Read a Book a Week (52 Books in 52 Weeks), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine)

You’re reading How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s depressing, isn’t it?

Another day goes by and you don’t feel like you are any closer to your dreams.

You wake up every day and go to work to do the same thing as yesterday.

You feel like only the color of your shirt changes.

And you wonder if you should give up on your dreams altogether.

Stop!

You know those thoughts are destructive, not only to your dreams, but also to your happiness.

Do you want to live your life without dreams?

Dreams will take you places and make your life exciting.

Well, that is, if you are able to stay motivated to accomplish them.

Reignite your feeble motivation

We all go through ups and downs in search of our dreams. No matter if the dream is conquering credit card debt, getting a promotion, or starting your own million-dollar business.

Somewhere along the way your energy will drain, your problems will seem unconquerable or everyday repetitiveness will threaten to take you down.

But you are still reading because you want a solution. You don’t want to give up.

So here are five simple tricks that will put you back on track.

  1. Slash your expectations

What? Every expert you read tells you to dream loftier dreams, to aim high.

The problem with big dreams is that they take a long time to accomplish. Everyone needs to win every now and then, even Tony Robbins.

To fix this problem all you have to do is divide the dream into smaller pieces. You’ll feel like a winner every time you conquer a smaller goal.

For example, if you want to publish a book, you would have to first find a topic, then pick a title, write the first chapter, and so on. Plan out how to get to the desired dream and make the different activities in the plan individual goals.

The smaller goals may not be as sexy as your big dream, but they will help you see your progress.

Which brings me to the next strategy.

  1. Come up with rewards

Sometimes, just the feeling of accomplishing a task is a reward in itself. But let’s face it, some tasks need a lot more rewarding to get done.

Come up with a reward system. Take each of the smaller tasks that you divided your big dream into and make a reward for it.

Tougher tasks are going to need a bigger reward. If I had to do cold calling, I know I’d need a chocolate bar for each call I made, but that may be second nature to you.

Figure out what will get you going and stay flexible, you may need to divide those tasks into smaller ones and reward each one of them.

  1. Create a happy picture

Since the smaller goals are not as sexy as your initial glamorous dream and you want to stay extra motivated by your big goal, it’s best to keep your big dream front and center.

On your road to success you want to daydream about your big dream, especially when you hit setbacks. You need to visualize the ultimate end result. And to visualize you need to create a picture in your mind.

If you print that picture and keep it visible you’ll quadruple your chances of success. Creating pictures is easy with Photoshop or the gazillion picture apps out there. If that’s not your thing old fashioned scissors and glue will do.

So, do you want to lose weight? Create a picture of yourself thin. Do you have your aim on a big pay raise? Create a picture of your new paystub. Keep your pictures in a visible place, maybe your bathroom mirror, and start every morning pumped up about your dream.

  1. Vaporize distractions

We are possibly in the most challenging time of history regarding distractions. Distractions are everywhere. I’m sometimes not sure how we get anything done anymore.

Junk email is unavoidable, but you can limit it with a good spam filter. Other distractions are easy to manage. For example a cluttered desk, with piles of papers that leave you exhausted just to look at them can be fixed in less than an hour.

Then you have social media. You can tackle that if you choose to indulge in social media only as a reward after accomplishing a small task. Win-win!

If you want to achieve your dreams you need to get rid of distractions. Find out what robs you of most of your time and trim it down. Or start with a distraction that’s easy to fix.

  1. Remember daring Edison

Once one of Edison’s associates asked him if he was discouraged by the amount of experiments he made which had failed. He replied “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Every man or woman who ever achieved great success experienced plenty of failure.

Start to see your failed attempts or mistakes in a different light. You can be depressed about them or, like Edison, believe that you are one step closer to your big win.

Stay positive even when something doesn’t work, you’ve just gained experience.

You get to choose if failures will bring you down or make you brighter.

Regain your excitement

Losing steam happens to all of us, it’s normal.

But it doesn’t have to stop you. Or kill your dream.

If you want to see yourself finally accomplishing your visions you need to learn to pick yourself up.

You need to learn to motivate yourself to stay on course. To avoid the pitfalls which will make you quit too early.

It’s not difficult.

Master the art of motivation today and see your spectacular dreams come true.


Corina Semph is a mom, designer, and blogger on a mission to help people transform their houses into peaceful and uncluttered homes, even if they have a problem getting rid off stuff.  Download her FREE Ultimate Cheat Sheet to Transform Your Closet from Crazy to Blissful in No Time.

You’ve read How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lGfHeE

How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine)

You’re reading How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s depressing, isn’t it?

Another day goes by and you don’t feel like you are any closer to your dreams.

You wake up every day and go to work to do the same thing as yesterday.

You feel like only the color of your shirt changes.

And you wonder if you should give up on your dreams altogether.

Stop!

You know those thoughts are destructive, not only to your dreams, but also to your happiness.

Do you want to live your life without dreams?

Dreams will take you places and make your life exciting.

Well, that is, if you are able to stay motivated to accomplish them.

Reignite your feeble motivation

We all go through ups and downs in search of our dreams. No matter if the dream is conquering credit card debt, getting a promotion, or starting your own million-dollar business.

Somewhere along the way your energy will drain, your problems will seem unconquerable or everyday repetitiveness will threaten to take you down.

But you are still reading because you want a solution. You don’t want to give up.

So here are five simple tricks that will put you back on track.

  1. Slash your expectations

What? Every expert you read tells you to dream loftier dreams, to aim high.

The problem with big dreams is that they take a long time to accomplish. Everyone needs to win every now and then, even Tony Robbins.

To fix this problem all you have to do is divide the dream into smaller pieces. You’ll feel like a winner every time you conquer a smaller goal.

For example, if you want to publish a book, you would have to first find a topic, then pick a title, write the first chapter, and so on. Plan out how to get to the desired dream and make the different activities in the plan individual goals.

The smaller goals may not be as sexy as your big dream, but they will help you see your progress.

Which brings me to the next strategy.

  1. Come up with rewards

Sometimes, just the feeling of accomplishing a task is a reward in itself. But let’s face it, some tasks need a lot more rewarding to get done.

Come up with a reward system. Take each of the smaller tasks that you divided your big dream into and make a reward for it.

Tougher tasks are going to need a bigger reward. If I had to do cold calling, I know I’d need a chocolate bar for each call I made, but that may be second nature to you.

Figure out what will get you going and stay flexible, you may need to divide those tasks into smaller ones and reward each one of them.

  1. Create a happy picture

Since the smaller goals are not as sexy as your initial glamorous dream and you want to stay extra motivated by your big goal, it’s best to keep your big dream front and center.

On your road to success you want to daydream about your big dream, especially when you hit setbacks. You need to visualize the ultimate end result. And to visualize you need to create a picture in your mind.

If you print that picture and keep it visible you’ll quadruple your chances of success. Creating pictures is easy with Photoshop or the gazillion picture apps out there. If that’s not your thing old fashioned scissors and glue will do.

So, do you want to lose weight? Create a picture of yourself thin. Do you have your aim on a big pay raise? Create a picture of your new paystub. Keep your pictures in a visible place, maybe your bathroom mirror, and start every morning pumped up about your dream.

  1. Vaporize distractions

We are possibly in the most challenging time of history regarding distractions. Distractions are everywhere. I’m sometimes not sure how we get anything done anymore.

Junk email is unavoidable, but you can limit it with a good spam filter. Other distractions are easy to manage. For example a cluttered desk, with piles of papers that leave you exhausted just to look at them can be fixed in less than an hour.

Then you have social media. You can tackle that if you choose to indulge in social media only as a reward after accomplishing a small task. Win-win!

If you want to achieve your dreams you need to get rid of distractions. Find out what robs you of most of your time and trim it down. Or start with a distraction that’s easy to fix.

  1. Remember daring Edison

Once one of Edison’s associates asked him if he was discouraged by the amount of experiments he made which had failed. He replied “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Every man or woman who ever achieved great success experienced plenty of failure.

Start to see your failed attempts or mistakes in a different light. You can be depressed about them or, like Edison, believe that you are one step closer to your big win.

Stay positive even when something doesn’t work, you’ve just gained experience.

You get to choose if failures will bring you down or make you brighter.

Regain your excitement

Losing steam happens to all of us, it’s normal.

But it doesn’t have to stop you. Or kill your dream.

If you want to see yourself finally accomplishing your visions you need to learn to pick yourself up.

You need to learn to motivate yourself to stay on course. To avoid the pitfalls which will make you quit too early.

It’s not difficult.

Master the art of motivation today and see your spectacular dreams come true.


Corina Semph is a mom, designer, and blogger on a mission to help people transform their houses into peaceful and uncluttered homes, even if they have a problem getting rid off stuff.  Download her FREE Ultimate Cheat Sheet to Transform Your Closet from Crazy to Blissful in No Time.

You’ve read How to Stay Motivated (Even If You are Trapped in a Repetitive Routine), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lGfHeE

3 Simple Mind-Shifts to Dramatically Transform Your Life

You’re reading 3 Simple Mind-Shifts to Dramatically Transform Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If there’s one thing you’ve without a doubt heard over and over again, it’s that mega-successful people think differently than the rest of us.

We’re all given the same 24 hours in a day, and we all have the same tools – the human body and mind – to make things happen, yet it’s painfully clear that some people just have that special sauce when it comes to achieving greatness and getting shit done.

Productivity and success become much easier when you have your health. I don’t think anyone would argue that. The human body is without a doubt something that can (and should) be optimized to transform your life, but the mind is the engine that drives it.

In this article, I’m going to teach you 3 simple mind-shifts that lead to more success, more happiness, and a radically improved life…but first, a story.

The Infamous Shoes Salesmen Story

Maybe you’ve heard this story before, maybe you haven’t. Either way, it’s a perfectly simplistic example that illustrates the difference between a positive mindset and a negative one.

It’s about a British shoe manufacturer looking to potentially expand their market into Africa. They decide to send two salesmen to investigate the situation and report back on whether or not they think it would be a worthwhile venture.

The first salesman reports back, “This is a terrible business opportunity, no one wears shoes.”

The second salesman reports back, “This is a fantastic business opportunity, no one wears shoes.”

This particular part of Africa might be a great place to sell shoes, or it might not be. Based on this story, we really don’t have enough information to make a truly educated call.

But regardless of which salesman was right, the second one had the positive mindset to see the potential and would be much more likely to try expanding the market to Africa.

This story, more than anything, is about seeing opportunities and benefits, instead of problems and disadvantages. We tend to restrict possibilities based on silly mental lies we tell ourselves to avoid discomfort, change, and disrupting the status quo.

How can you relate this back into your own life?

How many things have you not even tried doing simply because you talked yourself out of them?

Why You Must Change Your Mindset

All action is governed by some form of thought – conscious or unconscious – that precedes it.

This means that negative thoughts most likely yield negative actions, and positive thoughts yield positive actions.

I’m a firm believer that overnight success, except in a few rare cases, is a myth. It usually comes as a result of many positive actions applied over a long period of time. If you cultivate a mindset that supports and drives those positive actions, then success becomes the only possible result over a long enough duration.

Furthermore, just like true happiness comes from within (in the form of gratitude and self-love), most success begins as an inner journey. When you learn to master the thoughts, beliefs, and desires of your mind, you begin to act the way you feel.

Your mindset is by far the most powerful tool you have at your disposal.

It will either restrict you from ever getting started, or carry you farther than you ever thought possible.

Let’s dive in.

1. Stop Being the Victim

“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”
-Richard Bach

There are some people in this world – and when I say some, I mean a ridiculous high number – who love to play the victim.

“This always happens to me.”

“Of course it rains when I’m on vacation. I’m not allowed to have a good time ever.”

“I’ll never get in shape. Thanks to my job I’m always tired and don’t have the time.”

You know the type. I know the type. We all know the type.

This line of thinking is so popular because it shifts the blame from ourselves to outside factors.

It’s much easier to not feel as bad about being out of shape when you can blame your boss instead of your own laziness and lack of prioritization.

It’s also easier to blame the weather for your miserable time instead of your lack of imagination or sense of gratitude.

If you want to get out of your funk and transform your life for the better, you need to stop blaming everything else and take responsibility for your own life. Yes, not everything that happens to you is your fault, but how you react is 100% under your control.

Escaping the victim mentality begins with awareness; catching yourself when you start shifting the blame to something else.

The more you practice this, the more you will realize how often you do it. Even I still catch myself doing this from time to time. Anyone who says they don’t is probably lying.

Focus on first becoming more aware, then focus on what you can do, instead of what you can’t. Over time this will start to become the norm, and you will no longer be the victim.

2. Ditch the ‘All or Nothing’ Mentality

 I saw a Life Pro Tip (LPT) on Reddit the other day…

“LPT: If you’re trying to break a habit, don’t say “This is the last time I’m doing it” to yourself. Instead, say “This is the first time I’m not doing it.”

It’s brilliant. And it’s something I’ve implemented in my own life without even realizing it.

Every time I’d try forcing myself to stop binge drinking or go to the gym, it would end in massive failure.

I’d come up with these totally awesome and viable plans like lifting 5 days per week for an hour each day, or no booze for a month – both 100% doable for someone who’s already developed those habits.

But for a beginner trying to make the change, I might as well have tried single-handedly solving world hunger. I would have ended up with the same result.

It wasn’t until I started approaching change as an option rather than a demand that I began to see positive transformation.

When I finally began eating healthier, I told myself “it’s OK if you go for the fast-food, but this time I’m going to choose the home-cooked meal because I want to.”

That might’ve been the only healthy choice I made all week at first, but I fucking made it.

Slowly, I began making more and more of these choices, continually building little win upon little win, until eventually, I was eating something healthy every day.

When you leave the bad option on the table, it becomes empowering to know that you made the better choice again, and again, and again…

That’s when it starts to stick. 

3. Approach Everything with a “Beginner’s Mind”

This is something Leo Babauta of Zen Habits talks about frequently. To learn how to fully adopt a beginner’s mind, I highly suggest you read one of his posts.

For the purpose of this article, I just want to jumpstart your brain a little bit.

The essence of having a beginner’s mind, to me at least, means having fun with things. Just like a toddler finds unbounded joy in exploring the universe around him, you can take that same approach for anything you want to do.

By looking at things with a beginner’s mind, you remove any sense of arrogance you previously held onto. You remove restriction.

Instead of being scared to start a business because you know the statistics, you explore the possibility of succeeding.

Beginners take things slow and always keep an open mind. They aren’t afraid to experiment.

Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight.

Previous knowledge convinces you that the Atkins Diet is the best and only way to go.

As you start working through the program, you remember the 3 or 4 times in the past you tried and failed. This time is no different.

So you decide to change things up. Maybe the Atkins Diet isn’t the only possibility.

You start by trying a bunch of different things – exercising, making healthier food choices, and eating less.

You eventually take in so much knowledge from research and personal experience that things start working for you.

It doesn’t happen overnight, and you’re OK with that.

You ditched the rigidity of a non-beginner’s mind and instead found something that actually works for you.

One of the keys to growth and massive change is admitting that you can’t possibly know everything there is to know, and that the only viable option is to embrace the learning you have ahead.

Where to Go from Here?

As you continue to practice these mind-shifts, you will slowly become a better person having done so.

Success, and the necessary changes to get there, will become easier and easier.

Your previously negative thoughts will turn to positive ones. You will begin to view a world of possibilities instead of endless restrictions.

Before long, you will become what seems a superhero version of yourself.

If you need any additional help in forming new habits or creating behavioral change, I’m no doctor, but I have compiled a ton of useful information in my Engineer Your Habits mega-guide.

Between that and my blog, I’m on a mission to help others create last change.

Now go do some positive thinking.

Jason Gutierrez teaches young professionals and entrepreneurs how to build better habits. He writes at themonklife.net about optimizing health, overcoming resistance, and achieving your goals. Sign up for his free newsletter to get practical advice and tips for becoming better, faster, healthier.

You’ve read 3 Simple Mind-Shifts to Dramatically Transform Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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