7 Ridiculous Standards We Need To Stop Sticking To

You’re reading 7 Ridiculous Standards We Need To Stop Sticking To, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I don’t know what it is exactly, but it seems like in today’s day and age, we’re taking almost everything for granted.

Common sense isn’t so common anymore.

And adults aren’t being adults.

It’s ironic because the internet, social media and modern technology are all making us go backwards.

Here’s 7 ridiculous standards we need to stop sticking to

1) It’s okay to be late

No. It’s not.

I don’t know when, but some people think that it’s okay to never be on time. The worst I came across was people showing up for a movie late, making the rest of us late.

It’s not okay to be late.

If you think it’s okay, it means you don’t respect the other party. If you don’t show up on time, it means you don’t respect time, and that means you don’t respect yourself.

Grow up and show up. It’s not that hard.

2) It’s okay to be busy all the time.

No. It’s not.

I get it. You have many things to do. But everybody is busy today. If something or someone means something to you, you’ll make the time and put in the effort.

Trust me, you’ve your entire life ahead of you to be busy, especially after you start work. It’s up to you to make the choice, make some changes and realize that you get to do things that really matter.

3) It’s okay to not reply or return a call

I actually just only recently encountered this phenomenon, that some people out there simply do not check their phones at all simply because “they’re that type of people.”

Yes. Others validated this to me, telling me that it is a normal habit to not want to check one’s phone entirely and effectively disappear for a few days.

I think it’s alright to prioritize your communication habits, but to disappear entirely? Not cool.

A smartphone is meant to make people smart, not stupid.

4) It’s okay get away with anything just because you’re rich or famous

You know it’s true. Rich or famous people are getting away with doing bad things just because of their status.

It’s sad because the average person doesn’t dare to talk back.

5) It’s okay to cheat on your partner

Infidelity, for some reason is extremely common today, even among married couples. It’s so common that research is done on it, particularly on good people who you never thought will cheat.

But cheating, is still cheating.

It’s a horrendous act that hurts people. End of story.

If you aren’t ready to commit to a relationship, then don’t. Be honest and respect your partner. Cheating will never end well and there’ll be consequences.

6) It’s okay to allow bullying

I personally find that not enough is done to curb bullying.

The victim is always told to simply “get over it.”

That’s not enough. We need more education. The bullies must be punished to a certain extent while the victim must be given more encouragement.

7) It’s okay to allow a friend to be toxic and not do a thing about it

This entire article can be encompassed in this point: allowing a friend to be toxic.

Time and time again, I am always told, “He’s like that. Let him be” or “She’s a girl. They get to be unreasonable.

I find that extremely ridiculous.

If someone is doing something wrong, then something needs to be said. Tolerance can only go so far and it’ll only eventually harm others.

Stop accepting ridiculous standards I say. Make a change for yourself and others around you.

Just for Pick The Brain readers

Hey guys! Want to start being nice to yourself to lead a happy life NOW?

Get my free book then. I’ll activate that happiness in you: 12 things happy people don’t give a f**k about!

  • More confidence
  • More motivation
  • More fun

This free book only available through this link. Enjoy!

Alden Tan is a passionate breakdancer and writer. He writes about honest and real self-improvement without the bullshit. Get his free book already!

You’ve read 7 Ridiculous Standards We Need To Stop Sticking To, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2kOXH1h

Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure

You’re reading Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Setting a strong foundation – repetition, repetition, repetition.

One of the most effective ways to increase your performance in anything is simply by turning up and practicing! This may sound extremely obvious but it can be discounted far too often. Some people want all the glory but are not willing to put in the time to achieve it. So repetition, repetition, repetition cannot be overlooked as it’s the cornerstone of executing the task in hand.

Moving practice to performance

With a strong foundation in practice, our next task is to convert that to the match or performance. A classic example is the musician. They practice for many years in their bedroom to then hopefully one day play to hundreds or thousands of people. Their next step is to then move that playing to the stage.

The paradox of performance

Let’s just quickly address one area that can cause many people to trip over when trying to perform at their best. Always wanting to perform at perfect standards can cause problems if it’s not addressed and managed. We want to create an environment in which we push for our best performances, aim for a high level/standard, but have a heavy level of perspective whilst doing it. So if we have a bad day at work or at the session, we can quickly turn ourselves back around and get back to it.

Taking off the pressure

One of the most effective ways to take the pressure off yourself is to simmer the amount of focus on yourself. This is a little paradoxical, but the best way to do it is to focus on your main mission. Some performers, instead of focusing so much on themselves, switch their focus to entertain the crowd; giving them a great evening or offering a product or performance that can impact their lives. This can be especially helpful for entrepreneurs. When they focus on their overall mission, it can help keep them on track when the challenges come. It helps to alleviate the pressure THEY PUT ON THEMSELVES!

So let’s take a look at ten techniques that you can apply in any pressurised situation:

  • Visualisation – visualisation plays a huge part for many athletes and performers. Simply put, it’s the ability to visualise the desired outcome you would like by mentally running through your performance, bit by bit. This is a great technique for many golfers, basketball players, musicians etc – they clearly visualise the outcome they would like. A study by Edmund Jacobson proved how effective visualisation truly is with a set of basketball players. Check it out! http://ift.tt/1jpKatG
  • Movement – your physical body (the way you position your body). Resetting your posture under pressure can massively affect your performance. Take Cristiano Ronaldo’s body positioning when he steps up to take a free kick. With Ronaldo being a ‘J’ shape kicker (direction of the kick) he inputs greater power into the ball in the direction of the kick. His upright posture gives him a ‘power’ stance that can also add huge mental benefits. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has done some phenomenal work on body language and how it effects our testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain. Fascinating! http://ift.tt/1i3VmIF
  • Meditation – in any pressurised situation, being able to regulate your thoughts and emotions is huge. Meditation can be a great tool to keep your emotions and impulses at bay in performance. Restful alertness is the key here: with training we become more and more aware of our thoughts and emotions. Therefore, we can respond more effectively in high performance.
  • Language – reframing the situation – a healthy way to increase your performance is the way you shape the situation. Many performers still feel nerves before aperformance, but it’s how they manage and use it to their advantage that is the key. Mike Tyson before many of his boxing fights would be extremely nervous, but his coach would say: “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It’s the same thing, fear, but it’s what you do with it that matters”.
  • ‘There are many opportunities’ – think about how many times you have to get it right. The band Coldplay got turned down by over 20 record companies but they kept going. You will have other opportunities if you put yourself out there and keep on being proactive. The irony is you feel less pressure knowing there will be other opportunities.

These are five of many strategies you can begin to develop in your arena. Start with one and see how it can help with your development and training.

Step into your greatness today!

You’ve read Getting Into The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lWSAxH

The Success of Failing

You’re reading The Success of Failing, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Have you ever noticed that when people aren’t where they want to be—maybe their career isn’t as advanced as they’d like or they’re not in the loving relationship they’ve always dreamed of—they have a tendency to beat themselves up? They start saying “I’m not this” or “I’m not that,” as if they are somehow doomed because they lack a certain characteristic, quality, or trait.

Realistically, we all have responsibility as to how our life turns out. After all, if we want something, then we are the ones who have to do the work to get it. However, if you’re constantly judging yourself, telling yourself that you’re a failure at things, it will hold you back. It will prevent you from ever moving forward, like a 200-pound backpack attached securely to your back.

But the thing about failure is that it is never final…that is, unless you let it be. In fact, if you look at some of the greatest, most well-known people in history, they’d have never been successful if they experienced a failure and just accepted it as their fate.

Take Thomas Edison, for instance. His teachers literally called him “stupid” and his first two employers let him go because he was “non-productive.” Regardless, he still had a dream inside him to give the rest of the world light.

The first time he attempted to make a light bulb, he failed. The second time, he failed. The hundredth time, he failed. Did he stop? Did he just accept his failures as his fate? No. He kept going. He failed again and again until the one-thousandth time and…wouldn’t you know it…the light bulb was born.

Think about where we’d be today if he’d given up any of the 999 times before. Think about what impact it would have on our existence today if he’d said, “Well, I give up. I’m a failure. Apparently I am stupid and non-productive.”

As hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Or, as Michael Jordan has said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed,” following up with, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

Failure is only a failure if you decide to give up. As long as you don’t do that, then it’s simply a lesson learned. It’s a tool that tells you what doesn’t work so you can cross that idea off your list of possibilities and move on to something that does.

Remember too that you’re not alone when it comes to failures, so quit beating yourself up. Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series reached out to 144 different publishers before finding one who would take on his idea for this set of books. Again, had he given up any of those times, the world wouldn’t have been blessed with the many stories of inspiration and motivation they contain.

Again, failure is only a failure when you give up. So don’t. Okay?


As an entrepreneur, Red has built 3 different organizations. Among some of his accomplishments, Red built “The Accessories Place” into a major vendor of fashion accessories with multimillion dollar sales and double-digit year over year profitability. He is a professional speaker and the author of “Live Your YOUlogy.” In his free time, he enjoys spending time with his 3 children, playing racquetball, and traveling.

You’ve read The Success of Failing, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lRAyjB

How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World

You’re reading How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

how to find fulfillment

Are you looking for fulfillment? Do you know what that even looks like?

Fulfillment is what you get when you reach a level of contentment and gain a sense of accomplishment, giving you great emotional happiness and satisfaction.

What makes you happy though is not the same thing that makes someone else happy. So don’t think having or doing what others are doing will reap the same feelings and benefits for you.

It’s usually the simple things in life that bring us the most fulfillment, such as being around family and friends.

Each one of us strives for something in life, whether it be material or emotional. What is that for you, and have you ever even asked yourself what that is?

Imagine for a moment right now you were 80 years old. If you were able to look back at your life, what would be your biggest regrets?

What are the things that are really strong in your mind that you feel, and you’d say to yourself, “I should have done that when I had the chance.”

Don’t focus on so-called “mistakes.” That is not the point here, there are no such things as mistakes in life, but there are missed opportunities due to failure to take action.

Today I am going to show you how to find out what makes you happy and get you motivated towards reaching that level of happiness.

First, though, let’s take a look at why living life without fulfillment is like a plane without wings – you aren’t really going to get too far.

Why You Are Missing Out On Some Of Life’s Beauty

Early on in my career, I had been teaching and training people of all ages how to use computers, training them in software on both PCs and Macs.

I had always enjoyed this, and I realized I love teaching others, and I wanted to do more of it.

I knew what I wanted to do but didn’t really know how I would get there.

And then it hit me, the creation of my own website and blog. My own stage where I could teach people what I had learned in my life, the experiences that I have gone through, and how they could also attain a fulfilled and super happy life for themselves by doing what they love.

In one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray, he is stuck in a time loop living the same repetitive day over and over again.

Where he wakes up, and the same song is playing on the radio, to walking down the street and meeting the same people and doing the exact same things. And no matter what he does he cant get out of it.

It’s not until he finds his true identity, and becomes the person he never was, is when he escapes from the repetitive days, and a new more fulfilled and content life begins for him.

We are always striving to be the best and have the best, but the “best” for one person is not always the best for someone else. The picture is different for everyone.

You need to let go of things that you just have no control of in life, and focus your efforts on things that you can change, can affect, and can have a life-changing influence on.

What Your Fulfillment Looks Like

To start living a more fulfilled, content, and meaningful life, you can start to use the following strategies to carve out the most joy for yourself.

– What Do You Want Out Of Life?

You go to a job because you want the money and need to work. You go to a restaurant because you are hungry and want to eat.

See what actions are you doing every day, and where they are taking you.

Ask yourself where do you want to go, what do you want to accomplish, who do you want to be with, what do you want to own, where do you want to travel.

Start to find out what your purpose in life really is. We are only in this world for a very short time, let’s not waste any time on things that just don’t matter.

Write down what you want to get, and what type of relationships you want to have with the people you care about around you.

Find your fulfillment today so that you can be truly happy for the rest of your life.

– Find What You Love And Do It More Often

What do you love doing? For me, I really enjoy rollerblading; it gives me an incredible sense of freedom and happiness that I just can’t describe.

Yet a lot of the time, we are doing things that we just don’t enjoy or get any reward out of.

We all know what makes us happy, so why are we not doing more of it?

If you are working at a job that just doesn’t do anything for you, then you need to start asking yourself what steps do you need to take to start doing work that gives you fulfillment.

If sitting on your favorite couch, wearing your most comfortable slippers, reading a book with a nice cup of warm tea makes you feel at peace, then you need to be doing more of it.

Doing the things you love to do more often gives you a sense of peace over yourself.

– Set Realistic Goals For Yourself

Now that you know what things give you fulfillment, you need to start to create the roadmap and goals to start living out your dreams.

Often we look back on our lives and reflect and ask ourselves what have I accomplished.

You need to be able to measure your level of contentment and happiness by looking at how much do you need to live.

Fulfillment is linked to your goals, and your dreams and wishes. You will find satisfaction when you reach your goals.

Write down what you are striving for in life, and what exact steps you are going to do to get there.

– Help Someone Else Out

When you do good for others and help someone else out, whether it be just giving them company when they are alone, or lending a helping hand to someone financially, you can gain so much fulfillment from this.

When humans do good to each other, this causes a great sense of peace and happiness not just to the recipient, but to the giver as well.

To help yourself out emotionally, start doing good for others so that you can feel the rewarding feeling of giving.

Final Thoughts

To live a more fulfilled life, you need to live in the moment, in the now. You need to focus on the emotions and feelings that you are feeling inside of you, and strive to make yourself the happiest that you can be.

We all need to start enjoying each and every moment and refocus on the present time.

By bringing yourself to be grounded and live one day at a time, you slow down your life to stop looking at external ways to make ourselves happy.

You don’t need any external things to make you happy; your absolute happiness already exists right inside of you right now, it’s just up to you to want to grab it.


Maher Abiad has been in digital media and marketing since 2000. He runs his own online marketing agency named 3Seven7 Studios which helps businesses tell their stories and grow their audience through digital media marketing.

You’ve read How To Finally Find Fulfillment In An Overly Complex World, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2ks92ZP

How to Install CALMfidence

You’re reading How to Install CALMfidence, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”
-Rabbi Hillel
When the alarm goes off, does it only add to the “alarm” you felt when you went to sleep?

Is your big internal clock ticking loudly with the usual suspects?
• Anxiety?
• Indecision?
• Self-Criticism?
• Sadness?
• Lack of perspective?

Too many people don’t wake up with the alarm, they’re alarmed when they go to sleep.

Imagine waking up, enjoying life, and going to sleep with…CALMfidence.

Get Yourself Ready…Message Yourself

What’s CALMfidence? How do you get it? What’s it look like?

Hold on…remember something.

How?

Message yourself.

Messaging has two parts:

1) Finding/defining yourself
2) Telling someone

For CALMfidence, “own” your happiest/most loved self.

You’ve already done it, just guest-owned it for others.

Do you 1) think of others first and wish the best for them always; 2) stand in for the strong part of them until they can pick themselves back up?

Thanks for telling them 1) they count in the world; 2) they have everything they need inside to matter; and 3) they don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel good and be their best selves.

Move from Guest Owner to Self-Owner

Okay, so you’ve been “for others”.

Now, be the first and last of Hillel’s ideas.

Self-love and self-accept.

Sometimes you’ll do better than others, but resolve to do it now.

Own Time

You can own this mind- and spirit-set safely. How about closing your eyes and stroking your heart? It’s a great and quite way to “own” CALMfidence.
🙂

Close your eyes, image raising a child, or being the best possible friend or spouse possible.

But own that ultimate compassion for yourself!

Remember some wonderful time when everything was easy.

You deserve it as much as those you’ve helped. Accept your life-changing gift that you offer to the ones you hold dearest.
That’s the “Royal Road” to CALMfidence.

Here’s what it looks like!

CALMfidence Inventory

-You’re present, avoiding being one place with your body, but somewhere else with your mind.

-You pay yourself first. That’s much more that an economic statement. Every success isn’t about impressing others, it’s building up your own emotional bank account, your assets. Don’t leave your success at the water’s edge of your mind and spirit. Deposit it!

-You know you can accomplish more by doing less and have more than enough time to do all required.

-Your instincts are so good, you do NOTHING, rather than indulge inlazy and compulsive productivity.

-You have enough space in mind and spirit to make unhurried choices every minute of every day to find not only the best action, but the best thought available.

-You only compete with yourself.

-Your mindset is always creating, a growth mindset.

-You don’t ignore negativity, but you observe it, you don’t judge yourself.

-You’re self-compassionate without effort.

-Because you’re generous to yourself, you are effortlessly so to others.

-Your aspirations are rooted in human being, not human doing.

-You know where “True North” lies and assess everything on whether it will get you there.

-You don’t need external approval or attention to be their best self.

Isn’t this the message you want to send to the world, simply by being your happiest self?

You’ve Owned CALMfidence…now use it!

Next time you feel stressed, ask yourself, what would it take to be CALMfident? Practice so that you remember.
When in doubt, reset owning your most relaxed and poised self to get the effects above.

1-Know that you’ve had it before, so you’ll get it again. Don’t hesitate to simply STOP and REMEMBER a time of ultimate peace and confidence.
You’ve had one, no matter how seldom or long ago. Find it!

2-Be patient, be present and kind to yourself, even in a negative time. DO NOT criticize yourself.

3-Write down how you are feeling every day, be specific, both good days and bad.

4-Record, at least in your mind, and, better yet, on paper or in some word file, everything you did that was positive on any given day, no matter how minor.

5-Remember that there is only NOW. You only have to feel good NOW, not in a minute, not in an hour, not tomorrow, or next year, or in a decade.
Just NOW.

CALMfidence potential was and is your birthright. You just have to rediscover it and refresh to keep finding it.

After all, it’s part of being kind to yourself…always.

As Hillel might say, the rest is commentary.


Lars Nielsen writes full-spectrum communication, and now’s your chance to sign up for his newsletter for his website, Make Message Matter. Go to http://ift.tt/2lJ3kCR and, download his free guide to messaging, “How to Make YOUR Message Matter Cheat Sheet”.

You’ve read How to Install CALMfidence, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lOmOC7

Social Media Is Wrecking Our Life: Here’s How

You’re reading Social Media Is Wrecking Our Life: Here’s How, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s no secret that social media is the trendy way of keeping in touch with friends and family. Like everything good, however, social media has dangers which we consciously or subconsciously suffer from when we exceed the fair usage limits.

Social media is badly sucking up our time and life — a compiled statistics by Facebook’s company IPO filings showed that Facebook users worldwide spend 10.5 billion minutes each day on the site (mobile users not included), all in all, that’s nearly 20 years we spend on Facebook each day instead of in the real world. It’s really disturbing.

Americans spend an average of 4.7 hours a day on their phones texting, blabbing and what not, mainly through social networks — this is basically more than a whole day lost every week per person.

Is social media really worth all that time?

That stated, below are 3 ways social media is wrecking our quality of living.

  1. Discontent and Comparison

Social platforms link you with people from all class and races. This means, there’s always a high chance of meeting new people with seemingly better income source, better body, better career, or people that are seemingly leading a better, happier life.

As this is the case, you’ll most likely feel the urge to place yourself side-by-side with such social media users at a point in time, in one way or the other.

While doing this comparison, however, you will, in most cases, high-rank others and downgrade yourself. This is simply because we disregard our possessions/specialties once we feel accustomed to them.

This will often lead you to drool over the skills of others and make you view yourself as “uncool.”

You’re not the only one sub-consciously undergoing this stress, though. Other social media users do the same and this goes on to create a cycle of depression, and it severely hurts your self-esteem in turn — A new study funded by the National Institute of health labeled social media as one of the major causes of depression.

A 298 person case study at The University of Salford reported that 50% of the participants said that their “use of social networks like Facebook and Twitter makes their lives worse.”

The study also reported that participants said their self-esteem suffers when they compare their accomplishments to those of their online friends.

It’s easy to downgrade yourself and high-rank others based on what they display on social media. Never forget, however, everyone has things going on backstage they never share.

  1. Soliciting attention

It’s also no secret that many celebrities today, in the likes of Justin Bieber, rose to stardom after becoming an internet sensation.

Social networks make it easy to gain rapid exposure to your target audience for your various skills, products or services. This is good as it helps people to discover their special skills and creativity in order to grow and retain an audience.

But then, most social media users take this to the extreme and make this media exposure a priority; they will go to any length to get it; even it means assaulting others — a new survey by Craig Newmark found that 22 percent of social network users were victims of bullying, harassment and threatening behavior in 2016.

A good example is that of a father of three who got fired from his workplace after a “sexual joke” he made was spread on the social media by a female counterpart who rather found the joke annoying. It didn’t end there; the lady also lost her job when social media users turned against her in sympathy for the man.

Careers destroyed in a short while — thanks to the social media.

Another way this social media exposure wreck lives is the fact that social nobodies feel less complacent with themselves. Everyone feels social media fame is the way to go. This also contributes massively to the increased depression rate as stated above.

Needless to say, people go as far as photoshopping their pictures for media attention — this only shows their level of lack of self-confidence. Though they may get the media attention, it’s possible that they will be hurting deeply for not looking exactly like the person in the photoshop. Yet another way the social media aids depression.

  1. Difficulties in getting around in the offline world

There is no doubt that social media makes meeting new people whom we can end up having long-term relationships with quite easy. But then, what happens after we meet these new people? How well do couples who make the social media their journal last? Well, not so long.

24% of the respondents in a survey reported that they have missed real-time special moments, simply because they were trying to capture/document the moment for online sharing.

“Live for now,” and “enjoy every moment” seems to be impossible slogans these days as everyone is either busy trying to angle for the perfect capture or brainstorming for the perfect caption to seize the media attention with.

Real life relationships are suffering too. 11% of Brits in the survey confessed that their online relationships are solely about looking cool and interesting. That’s a lot of drama added to this already complex world.

Sticking by our tech devices from morning to night, day in day out, for the sake of social media can heavily be linked to the increased accidents rate — National Safety Council reported that cell phone use while driving leads to 1.6 million crashes each year.

That and a lot more others like how a large number of persons are choosing social media interaction over face to face relationship and business engagement meetings are what social media is doing to the human race.

To round things up

Though, it’s a fact that social media don’t have the ability to make us do any of the above without our permission — at the very least, we are yet to see a social media network that auto-updates our moods and activities or one that auto-responds to our convos — however, it’s still a fact that these platforms make unnatural things like giving the whole world access to our lives quite irresistible.

Social media has come a long way and it can not possibly be done away with at this rate. Also, if used smartly, social media can do a lot more good than harm.

But then, with the above reasons and a lot of others in place, it’s only ideal for you to set boundaries for yourself to regulate who takes a peek at your life and, what is visible to the people who actually do take a peek (Tip: Don’t let them see/know too much).

What is your thought on this? Do let us know through the comments section.

Image Credit

You’ve read Social Media Is Wrecking Our Life: Here’s How, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lM5y0y

17 Free Websites to Upgrade the Quality of Your Life Today

You’re reading 17 Free Websites to Upgrade the Quality of Your Life Today, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

In the past decade, there has been a rise of amazing (and free) websites that can dramatically improve the quality of our lives.

Not all of these websites are equal however. The best always rise to the top, and we don’t want to waste your time with websites that won’t deliver maximum results. From improving your health, learning a second language, to saving you more time, we’ve curated the top 17 free websites that will enhance your quality of life.

Here they are…

1. MyFitnessPal

What you’ll get: Ability to easily track calories

MyFitnessPal is a free personal assistant to helping you become the best shape possible. It tracks your calories, gives you tips, and gives you in-depth analytics about your health performance.

2. Appear.in

What you’ll get: Instant, high quality video meetings

Skype is amazing, but it can get trickier when you have more than one person you’re chatting with. Appear.in helps you create instant virtual rooms for group meetings and more. It’s fast, efficient, and easy.

3. Rype

What you’ll get: Start speaking a new foreign language in seconds

Rype was created to redefine what it’s like to learn a language. Compared to a language school, Rype offers private language lessons for 1/10th of the cost, with fully-vetted professional teachers that are available 24/7. It comes with a full 14-day free trial to check it out for yourself.

rype

4. Calm

What you’ll get: Peaceful mind through meditation

Calm offers peace of mind on demand. The meditation app now includes breathing exercises, and sleeping stories to help you maintain the best quality of mind possible.

5. Evernote

What you’ll get: Organization of thoughts and projects

Keeping track of everything you’re working on takes a lot of mental space. Evernote keeps everything organized in one place. You can take notes, save articles, and share them with whoever you want.

6. CreativeLIVE

What you’ll get: Free education

CreativeLIVE offers free educational classes from premium teachers around topics ranging from photography, business & money, design, and more.

7. Investopedia

What you’ll get: Better understanding of finances

Investopedia is the leading community for learning everything you need to know about finance. They have free tools (that allow you to invest $100,000 of simulated money), dictionary, articles, tutorials, and much more.

8. X.ai

What you’ll get: Personal assistant for scheduling

They say that artificial intelligence is around the corner, but it seems to be already making way. With X.ai, you get a free personal assistant named Amy, who will help you coordinate all of your scheduling according to your preferences via email. All you have to do is cc her, and voila!

9. Coach.me

What you’ll get: Community and accountability for goal setting

Sometimes all we need to achieve our important goals is a community that keeps us accountable. With Coach.me, you get that and more. Their free app offers reminders to help you stay up-to-date with your habits, communities that you can interact with, and even offer coaching for those who need it.

10. Spritz

What you’ll get: Enhance your reading speed by 2x

Spritz was created to help us read faster. The technology scours through whatever you’re trying to read, and displays it for you word by word based on how fast you want to read it — i.e. 500 wpm, 400 wpm, etc.

11. Pexels

What you’ll get: Free stock photos to use in any way you want

Free, high quality stock photography is on the rise. What pexels offers is an accumulation of all the best stock photography websites in one place. Think Google for free stock quality photos.

12. StickK

What you’ll get: Accountability to meet your important goals

If you’re not exactly the type of person who’s shown a track record of hitting your goals, StickK can help. How? By putting your money where your mouth is. You set your own stakes if you don’t hit your goal, you’ll never see that money again. Talk about pressure.

13. Momentum

What you’ll get: Beautiful wallpaper to look at everyday

Momentum is a simple, free browser extension that displays beautiful photos whenever you open a new tab. What you see often can affect how you think and feel, and this is a easy-to-implement hack to improve your life.

14. Freedom

What you’ll get: Removal from internet distractions

Freedom blocks distractions from the web (literally) by preventing you from going online for a period of time.

15. Bodybuilding.com

What you’ll get: Advice on getting fit and healthy

Bodybuilding.com is the go-to place for learning about nutrition, training, and fitness programs to get into the best shape of your life.

16. ProductHunt

What you’ll get: Curated list of the best, new products online

If you enjoyed this post, and discovering new products, then you’ll love ProductHunt. Everyday, there’s a new curated list of products, books, podcasts, games, and more that you can discover online.

17. Memrise

What you’ll get: Tool to memorize new things

Memrise helps you memorize new words in the easiest way possible. It’s perfect for anyone learning a foreign language, studying for an exam, and more.

You’ve read 17 Free Websites to Upgrade the Quality of Your Life Today, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2kYgecY

The 7 Best Blogs on Relationships

You’re reading The 7 Best Blogs on Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If only we knew when we begin our lives that in the end, the only thing that truly matters, are our relationships, perhaps we would make them our top priority. We are social creatures that can evolve immensely simply by relating our experiences to others. This is how we learn to deepen our understanding of ourselves and each other. Our relationships in life also pave the way for more favorable physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It could be relationships award us with a sense of being alive, or it could be that they make you feel valued, it’s the reciprocity of these positive feelings that create meaningful lives.

  1. Marriage does not equate with happiness. The reason one can be in a happy marriage is if they feel supported, and many marriages fail to provide this over time. This blog also touches on the fact that one does not even need marriage at all, if we are surrounded by encouraging friends or family and a significant other as a companion, that is all we need to thrive within the health benefits of a loving relationship.

http://ift.tt/1WsvL0p

  1. ‘How to have satisfying, functional and intimate relationships is probably as essential as literacy or numeracy.’ In this blog, we are given specific skills on how to move forward in relationships in order to relate to others healthily, mindfully and kindly. Listening with attention and communicating effectively both play large roles in the success of a relationship.

http://ift.tt/2l2OQgk

  1. This article lays down the difference between a ‘hedonic’ (more about experiencing pleasure in life) perspective on relationships and a ‘eudonic’ (more about reaching your potential in life) one. In order to understand and predict the well being of a relationship, one must first determine which of this perspectives drive it. The conclusion is generally that they more a partner feels valued and understood as opposed to just ‘enjoyed’, the greater the meaning on your life.

http://ift.tt/2fLE3lS

  1. If we are ‘in love’, we are experiencing a hormonal surge similar to any elation, joy and some would say it’s a high. If we are ‘loving’, we are much more concerned with the minutiae of our partner’s life and sustaining a grounded, authentic love. An ideal relationship is one with a combination of passion and compassion.

http://ift.tt/2l2FG3M

  1. We often lose connections in our relationships because we rely heavily on our own potentially misguided mental perceptions of what the other may be thinking. Eye contact and affection are strong indicators of connection, as it promotes security. Couples sometimes fall into a negative cycle of assumptions, missing visual cues to connect, that could lead to a more understanding relationship.

http://ift.tt/2kjCTi6

  1. In this blog, an interview with author Susan David, discusses the concept of emotional agility. She feels people in romantic relationships are often ‘inagile’ emotionally, meaning that their thoughts and emotions ultimately create stories which then direct their action. Oftentimes they are negative and ultimately push you away from the goal of a healthy relationship.

http://ift.tt/2jZ1ZH6

  1. How can one define love? It is relative to the person that is feeling the emotion, therefore it is not very easy to qualify. In the realm of psychology, experts continue to research it and one particularly useful framework is the ‘triangle theory’. This theory is based on the belief that there are three facets to love, those are passion, intimacy and commitment, and within those three lie seven types of relationships for which one can define their own relationship.

http://ift.tt/1X05AkQ

To be emotionally involved in someone else’s life and connected in some way is what it means to be in a relationship. However, the life that exists inside them is what can be either transformative or debilitating depending on amount of awareness given to the relationship. When a relationship is flowing, our lives are enriched, we can be ourselves and see ourselves in the reflection we give to others.

Do you read a great blog about relationships that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!

Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

You’ve read The 7 Best Blogs on Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2l70W7P

6 Questions to Help You Find Your Tribe

You’re reading 6 Questions to Help You Find Your Tribe, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We make many choices that mold our personalities, but none are quite as important as the people we choose to be around.

As motivational speaker Jim Rohn put it, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This doesn’t mean you’re not the architect of your personality — you just need to make smart choices about those surrounding you.

Choosing good company can be a tricky balancing act. We need many things from our friends and associates, including competition, honest feedback, moral support, and good judgment. I am a competitive person, for instance, and like to surround myself with people who make me want to push a little harder or reach a little higher. Alone, I might not feel the need to make that extra effort, but with the right people around me, I have the energy to go further.

Rarely do I find one person who has all the qualities I’m looking for, but that’s normal. You need an inner circle of people who complement your strengths and help you improve your weaknesses. You don’t want people who tear you down or diminish your accomplishments out of jealousy — you want a group that helps you discover the best version of yourself.

Ask the Right Questions to Find Your Tribe

So how do you cultivate the right group? Fortunately, it’s not as hard as it sounds. You just need to ask the right questions to identify the right people to help you grow. Start with these six.

1. Who inspires me?

Who makes you want to be a better leader, a better coach, and a better person? Is this person excellent at what he does? It doesn’t matter whether he’s in the same field — what matters is that you can draw inspiration from his tenacity, creative spirit, and heart.

Whether you want to be a better business leader, a better friend, or a more active member of the community, ask yourself what kind of person you want to be to seek out individuals who inspire you to be that person.

What you don’t want is someone who will drag you down with his negativity. Negative feelings can be motivating to a point, but they ultimately do more harm than good.

2. Who teaches me?

Who makes you approach problems in different ways? Who stretches you emotionally? Who asks insightful questions?

We learn the most from people who ask questions that make us stop and re-evaluate our situation. When I’m with a client and I hear, “No one’s ever asked me that question before,” I know we’re about to have a productive conversation. Find people who challenge your views in a friendly way, and start spending more time with them.

3. Whom can I teach?

Who is open to learning? Who wants to know more? Who is willing to explore things in new ways and accept your guidance?

Teachers help us grow, but being a teacher can also deliver valuable insights. When we’re forced to explain something or coach someone, we learn more about ourselves and the subject matter we’re communicating. I coach agency owners every day, and the exchange of wisdom goes both ways. Usually, I’m learning just as much from the interaction as my clients, and it helps me improve.

4. Who celebrates me?

Who’s your cheerleader? Who reminds you how awesome you are?

There are few things as valuable as a friend who believes in you. When the daily grind becomes too much, you need a lifesaver, someone who can remind you of your best qualities.

We all too easily take the good parts of ourselves for granted, so surround yourself with friends who see you more clearly than you see yourself and can verbalize their support in a way that makes you believe in yourself, too.

5. Who will call me out?

Who’s brave enough to be honest? Who cares enough to alert you when you’ve gone off course?

Even the best of us make mistakes. We need people around us who care enough to speak up when we step out of line or make a judgment error. This person needs to be able to take it when we react poorly to feedback and forgive us for losing sight of the bigger picture. While honesty is invaluable, just make sure not to mistake an overly critical person for an honest one.

6. Who brings me joy?

Who sees the best of you in everything you do and points it out to you? Who makes you laugh so hard you cry? Who fills you with happiness?

The people who bring you true joy are rare — don’t let their presence in your life be accidental. Bring them in close, and keep them around.

To be the best version of yourself, be intentional about who you spend your time with and who you open up to. No matter how successful you are, you can always get a little better, a little bolder, a little stronger, and a little kinder. Ponder these questions to discover the friends and colleagues who will help you become the person you want to be.

You’ve read 6 Questions to Help You Find Your Tribe, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2kg8Ck2

Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable? 10 Facts You’re Not Quite Sure

You’re reading Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable? 10 Facts You’re Not Quite Sure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“Comfort zone” is considered to be psychological space of a human being in which he feels relaxed. This zone is called comfortable due to the fact that everything that happens within it is predictable.

Spending time in this space does not bring about strong emotions and feelings. Predictability allows using a limited set of behavioral reactions and does not require new decisions and actions. That is the moment you stay in the comfort zone when people find out nothing new for themselves, at the same time using only the knowledge and resources possessed.

Comfort zone for adults

The adoption of new solutions for adults is often associated with stress. It can be seen, for example, when purchasing goods or services. If you hadn’t an experience of acquiring a particular category of goods or services, then you would feel insecure and not confident. The cause of stress is related to an individual’s attitude towards the world, other people and expectations.

Comfort zone for children

Children do not feel stressed because world understanding has not formed yet, and each performed action is cognition and study of their capabilities. The absence of stress in children’s life suggests that limiting of some directions is the main cause of comfort zone existence. Directions include certain feelings, such as: fear, guilt, shame, peace, joy, etc. Memories connected with these feelings act for us a stimulus to the commitment or refraining from action. For example, if sales for a person are associated with guilt, which he experienced in childhood, that person will avoid this sphere of activity or will bring this feeling into his work.

Everybody strives for homeostasis (balance). Psychological balance is an important component of your daily life. In case of any new event when the person does not know what to expect, the body feels instability and danger. To avoid this danger you can turn to directions that form the boundary of your comfort zone and keep us well.

Why you need to step out of your comfort zone?

1. You will never know something new without trying.

You can spend a lot of time trying to guess how the life could have turned in a particular case that happened. But you will never learn if you don’t try personally. History repeatedly gives us examples. The great discoveries and achievements were made when people decided to come out of their comfort zone when risking.

Each of us can make a decision to take the risk, but will this risk bring some benefit? For instance, you are a designer and have recently read about new styles and trends. You would like to try something, but you have become so accustomed to the old ones that even such a thought is frightening. Don’t be afraid if something does not work, then you will have an opportunity to return to the old ways. It is possible to expand the network. While dating you need to meet and personally communicate with a person, but you really feel uncomfortable in such situations. But leaving your comfort zone allows you to learn how to work in a team and to reach a new level.

2. You will not evolve and will remain at the same level of development.

Life is a series of specific events and decisions, which teach us to be stronger, give experience and knowledge allow you to cope with some tasks easier. But if you are afraid to go out of your comfort zone, no development will be.

Very often people having reached some kind of a stage or step, refuse to go forth. You believe that a bird in the hand is better than a crane in the sky. You are afraid to take risks, to try new things, set new goals. And this fear, at first glance seems absolutely understandable. Why dream about something, after all, and now all is well. But as soon as you stop setting goals for yourself, you will slowly but surely fade away. Your life will be boring, monotonous, routine. Home, work, home that’s what awaits people who chose “bird” and not want to get out of their comfort zone.

3. Errors are the best teachers.

The main reason why most people are afraid to leave their comfort zone is fear to make mistakes and to lose everything what they have. But mistakes, as mentioned above, are not always bad things. I would even say that it’s great that in your life were situations which caused you to make errors. Any failure is, first and foremost, a lesson to become better, to know ourselves, to understand how to act in a given situation.

If you learn how to analyze mistakes, if you take lessons from them, then you will completely forget what is comfort zone, stop being afraid to do some unusual things, to take the most ambitious and radical solutions.

4. You are too shy and doubtful.

This means that you are afraid of trying some new experiences and emotions, you are unhappy with the current situation. Try new challenges!

5. Starting conversation first  – it’s not about you.

You have doubts and indecisiveness before talking to strangers, this isn’t ok.

6. Refusing to do something unusual.

Don’t hesitate, agree to someone’s respond to help him doing something not familiar to you.

7. Procrastination is your main feature.

You often complain about unpleasant factors, you usually don’t do things in time. Something always holds you back.

8. If/When are your favorite words.

Your main feature is using words of negative connotation, such as: can’t or, for instance, won’t. You are to change these words with more positive ones – should or could.

9. You don’t strive for success.

10. New achievements – aren’t your main goals.

All in all, it is clear that you need to pay attention to this issue due to the fact these factors can influence your life greatly, you don’t set new goals.

Don’t forget: development is a life’s driving force!

__

Marta Trenton is a graduate student and an inspired blogger at Tuko.co.ke. 5 years ago she started writing her own short stories on a wide range of topics including education and information technologies. Marta finds travelling a great way to get back to what’s really important in life. You can follow her on Twitter.

You’ve read Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable? 10 Facts You’re Not Quite Sure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2lsuNIZ