You’re reading How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you could achieve just one thing this year, what would it be?

Whether you’re picturing yourself crossing the finish line of the London marathon, shaking hands with your boss after earning a huge promotion, or buying a one-way ticket to Australia, all of us dream of becoming a better, happier, healthier version of ourselves. Yet so often the goals we set seem so hopelessly impossible to achieve that we give up before we’ve even begun.

It doesn’t have to be that way. We all have the power to change our lives for the better. Our goals defeat us not because we aren’t good enough, but because the methods we use to achieve them aren’t good enough.

Try following these 5 simple steps, and this could be the year you finally become whoever you want to be.

Step One: Pick one goal.

Imagine that your fairy godmother rocked up this very moment and offered to grant you every wish you could think of. Chances are you’d reel off a v-e-r-y long list, because most of us have multiple ambitions and goals. Consequently, whenever we think about resolution-making, the temptation is to determine to tick everything at once.

Unfortunately, in a world devoid of fairy-godmother magic, goals can only be achieved by working hard for them. Pile too much of that hard work on at once and you’ll become overwhelmed and quit.

Remember that one success is better than multiple failures! Don’t fracture your focus: pick just one goal and devote all your energy to completing it.

 

Step Two: Make success measurable.

Thought of your goal? Good. Does it sound anything like one of the following: “be healthier”, “be richer”, “be more organised”? If the answer is yes, then rip it up and head back to the drawing board. These are examples of bad goals. Bad goals are generic, subjective, and consequently almost impossible to achieve. Exactly how organised is organised enough?

A good goal has an obvious, measurable end point. Think “I want to lose 3 stone” or “I want to save £5,000”. Not only is it clear what you’re aiming for, it’s also easy to track your progress.

The single best motivator to push us over a finish line is to be able to see how far we’ve already come. If you’ve diligently racked up £4,990 you’re very likely to skip those last two pints and add the tenner to your savings account. If you’re entirely unsure how much more celery you need to munch down on before you become adequately “healthier” you’re much more likely to jack it all in at the first sight of a Twix.

Step Three: Break the goal into the smallest steps possible.

Most people’s goals are big, challenging and lifechanging. That’s what makes them exciting – you wouldn’t feel the same sense of achievement completing something you could knock off in half an hour tomorrow morning. But the problem is that when you measure the distance between your end goal and where you are today, the huge gap is incredibly disheartening.

Luckily there is a simple solution; break your goal down into easily-completed chunks, and focus on completing just one chunk at a time. Every slob knows he can’t just roll out of bed one morning and run a marathon, so he considers it foolish to try. But if his immediate focus was to complete just half a mile, the fact that it appears achievable encourages him to go for it. By building up slowly, he becomes the champion runner he could never have imagined being when he began.

Every time you find yourself struggling, make your goal steps smaller. Even moving a millimetre each day gets you further than if you never moved at all.

Step Four: Plan how you will achieve each step.

If you’ve followed Step Three and made you goal steps nice and easy the amount of planning involved should be minimal – but that doesn’t mean it can be neglected entirely!

Most resolutions require tools to move forward: a gym membership, a foreign language dictionary, a savings account etc. Make sure you’ve got everything you need set up and ready to go so that when you have a burst of motivation you won’t be hampered by any annoying necessities blocking your way.

Step Five: Get going!

By this point, you should know exactly what you’re going to do and exactly how you’re going to do it. All that’s left is to get out and get going!

Prepare yourself for experiencing some inevitable slipups. They happen to everyone; the trick is to see them for the temporary setback they are and not get disheartened. It’s always okay to revert back a step if you need to. All you have to do is to keep moving, keep trying, and you can achieve anything you set your mind on.

---

Beth Leslie writes graduate careers advice for Inspiring Interns. They specialise in matching candidates to their dream internship. Check out their graduate jobs listings for roles.

You’ve read How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2kJoSeT

You’re reading 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

People are awesome… That is when you are making friends, socializing, and having a great time. The spoiler in this otherwise perfect scenario are those rude people you have to deal with in life. Sometimes we wish they’d disappear, but maturity is accepting someone for who they are while helping them become more.

Remember the last time you were deciding on a place to hang out and one person had problems with every place. Or perhaps the time when a colleague was rude to you for no reason? All of us inevitably have to encounter rude and difficult people. Knowing how to do with these people frees your attention from the inevitable aftermath of worry that follows when you encounter rudeness. Relax and take a sigh of relief for here are eight tips to dealing you out in the next debacle.

Tip #1: Keep your temper

The quickest way to lose control of a situation is to lose your cool round difficult people. By letting your anger get the better of you, you indirectly validate their behavior. Give yourself a chance of working things out by remaining calm. I’ve found it helpful to keep an open perspective which gives people margin for error. Don’t assume malice for possibility of error or even incompetence.

Tip #2: Be tactful but polite

The key to making others listen to is to tactfully put across your views all the while being polite. It is universally accepted that a polite person is heard over an impolite one because impoliteness triggers people to erect verbal and emotional walls. There is no quick, guaranteed way to ensure politeness. The simplest mind-hack I’ve found is to continually check in with yourself to see if you would treat the person you love most in your life, like you are right now with this difficult person. Use it to your advantage and make both the group and the rude elements listen to you.

Tip #3: Make your displeasure known

Address your issues with a difficult person and keep it between yourselves first unless you cannot resolve the issue. Gossip does not help. You have a responsibility to express your needs and expectations.

Youe should not burst out at every trivial issue but there are healthy times to let your displeasure be known. You have a right to assert boundaries. Inform the concerned people separately what behaviour was uncalled for or hurt you. You may be surprised that if this is shared in a non-aggressive but direct manner, they may have no idea what they did and immediately apologize. Do it also privately.

Tip #4: Praise effort

Acknowledge and appreciate all efforts the other makes. It is the simplest and most effective way of encouraging someone. When you praise their effort, you provide encouragement and comfort in a difficult moment. You also solidify better rapport between you two to handle further difficult conversations.

Tip #5: Ensure proper communication

Wondering what proper communication means? It simply refers to your body language and responses. Simple pointers to take care of are maintaining eye contact with the person while talking (don’t start staring people which is a trait of aggression) and during a telephonic conversation maintain verbal acknowledgements that you’re listening “hmm mm”. Giving proper responses may appear to be too trivial. However many a times things go haywire owing to basic gaps in respect and empathy. Let the person know whether you can understand him or not. Fundamentals are fundamental.

Tip #6: Have evidence to back your words

This is a sketchy tip that can work real well for some people. It can work poorly when you solely focus on the logic of the situation rather than the emotion. Use it wisely depending on the person and situation. The idea is to show him/her proof to back up your words. You could politely bring up documents to prove your words rather than enter into a heated match. Not that you have to start carrying a bulky proof folder every time you step out.

Tip #7: Be an example

I know the above sounds like a lesson in a preaching class, though they are effective measures to make others be nice to you. Concepts like leading by example, being always polite, or forgiving are very relevant and effective. Try these and you will find a marked difference in their treatment at least with you. Successful people are proactive in creating the life they want. You may not reform him or her, but your goal is to alter the way the person treats you.

Tip #8: Reduce your interaction time

It helps during conflict to notice your triggers then give yourself a cooling off period to think through the situation before jumping into it again. If every measure, every effort fails, then you are left with the option to reduce your interaction time as much as possible. Completely ignoring the person might not be possible if you have business with them. But then try to keep your conversations short and simple.

Joshua Uebergang helps shy men show their awesomeness to others with better social skills. He is author of a short-guide to deal with difficult people at towerofpower.com.au.

You’ve read 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2jtIuSw

You’re reading The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“When you honor your body, mind and spirit you are saying to the universe, ‘I love you’” –Panache Desai

Most of us look forward to the weekend. Whether it’s for sleeping in late, catching up with friends, spending time with family or enjoying the occasional getaway, the weekend breaks up the routine of the work week and reminds us that life is more than just toil.

For those of us who are introverts, the weekend is especially valuable as a time for reclaiming the space and solitude we need to refill our energy tanks. Getting adequate rest is important for everyone, but as an introvert, I am biologically and physiologically wired to need not just lots of downtime, but lots of “me time.”

Any introvert will tell you that scheduling “alone time” to replenish our energy after the rigors of the work week is not a luxury. If I don’t regularly return to my natural element of stillness, silence and solitude, I stop feeling like myself and literally cannot function.

Weekend guilt: Why introverts can have it bad

So many people complain that the weekend is too short, and many of us struggle with the pesky feeling that we’re wasting our weekends. Whenever I feel like the weekend has flown by before I could really enjoy it, it’s usually because I allowed the nagging impulse to do more and be more distract from my enjoyment of the present moment.

Also, as an ambitious introvert, I can feel guilty and lost if I’m not in the process of pursuing some goal or the other, particularly when I finally have the solitude to do so. Yet doing nothing is a worthy goal in and of itself.

Another reason weekends can feel inadequate is because, in a fast-paced world, resting isn’t valued as much as it should be, so when we rest we don’t feel the same sense of accomplishment or satisfaction as when we work. Introverts, who have a pronounced need for silence, stillness and reflection, can feel odd, embarrassed and out of place when, all around us, society expects and praises busyness.

In fact, we’re often guilt-tripped by our more extroverted friends and family who are stimulated and socialize differently from us. Here are five tips for owning your weekends and feeling good about it.

1. Unplug

The weekend is the perfect time to make yourself unavailable to all but a few choice people. There is such a thing as being over-connected, a state in which we’re always “switched on” for the benefit of others, with a myriad of ever-shifting demands placed upon us.

Switching off the television, radio, computer, and cell phone allows us to recoup from our lives of chronic engagement, multitasking and information overload, and get back to the calmer pace of pre-technology life.

As an introvert, I use the Internet and text messaging to interact with the world with minimal drain on my energy. To avoid dependency and overuse, I have chosen to not join any social media platforms and I use a free time management app that limits my screen time.

Research shows that too much technology use has adverse, wearying effects on the mind and body. Studies have documented the health benefits of unplugging for even a few hours, everything from better sleep and reduced muscle pain, to improved mood and concentration.

2. Under-schedule

For some of us, the weekend is the only time we have to do brunch with a friend, attend church, complete chores or volunteer. If you’re a non-social introvert who is actively trying to be more social, it can be tempting to fill up your weekends with extroverted activities and social engagements.

While it’s practical and healthy to use the weekend to get things done and connect with people other than our co-workers, it’s also important to make sure our weekends aren’t hectic and over-scheduled.

Most introverts prefer weekends to be low-key and leisurely, yet we still have a deep need to meaningfully connect with others. We can find ourselves struggling against societal norms that pressure us to approach weekend activities the way extroverts do.

For example, I prefer to attend social events with a set beginning and ending time, but my more extroverted family and friends plan social events that are often improvised and can seemingly go on forever. I regularly have to remind myself that it’s okay to leave an event “early” even if I’m the only one doing so.

The key is to remember that because of the way we’re wired, we have an extra need for solitude and require longer periods of mental and physical recuperation. Trust your body; it’s a better gauge for ensuring your health and sanity than social norms.

Let go of the idea that you’re boring for not wanting to spend the entire night at a dance club, or that you’re somehow missing out on something if you accept your introverted preferences.

Free time is anything but a waste of time; it’s actually an investment in our relationships since we’re best able to give to others, contribute to our communities and enjoy experiences when we’re energized. Remember, quality not quantity is what counts.

3. Meditate

Meditation is a gentle but powerful way to release tension and stress accumulated during the work week. I have discovered that getting in touch with and nurturing a connection with the present moment is key for accessing healing, self-acceptance and joy. We all have the capacity to experience this powerful awareness of “being-ness”, but this requires that we slow down and focus inward, something that us introverts know how to do very well.

Mediating doesn’t have to mean sitting crossed-legged on a yoga mat with your eyes closed. You can meditate by listening to guided meditation audio while driving, doing meditative physical exercises like tai chi and qigong, or actively staying aware of your body and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts as you stroll through the park.

What is most important is to find the form of meditation that feels freeing and comfortable for you.

4. Master self-care

The weekend is the perfect time to refocus on our bodies and shower our introverted souls with attention. The exertion required to interact with extroverted co-workers and function in overstimulating work environments can leave us tense, numb and physically drained.

Also, many of us work in mentally demanding professions that keep us locked into the sphere of the mind and disconnected with the wisdom of our bodies. Introverts, who spend most of our time in our heads to begin with, can experience this mind-body disconnect more acutely.

Taking long, hot showers, or relaxing in a mineral bath soak are great, effective ways to get back in touch with your body and reward yourself for challenging yourself all week. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation or treat yourself to a massage. Aromatherapy oils like lavender and juniper, and soft, soothing music also have positive, calming effects on the autonomic nervous system.

I drink soothing herbal teas like chamomile, peppermint, lemon balm and kava teas that have been proven to aid physical relaxation. I own a bubble foot spa massager that I use ritualistically on weekends, and I make sure a significant part of my weekend is spent outside in nature, even if it just means sunbathing in my yard.

Remember, self-care means different things to different people. An extrovert might care for herself by shopping in a busy mall, while an introvert who likes to shop might care for himself by shopping online. The key is to nurture your soul by doing something enjoyable that makes you feel healthy and happy, and that connects you to your authentic, sensual self.

For introverts, activities like gardening, painting, crafts, baking, journaling, people-watching, yoga, swimming, cycling and dancing have relaxing effects and can be done alone or with just one other person.

5. Rest intentionally

It’s perfectly okay to keep your weekends sacred for solitude and rest. Rest as a spiritual principle is an age-old tradition evident in the existence of customs such as the Sabbath and the Spanish siesta.

Rest doesn’t necessarily mean inactivity or sleeping; rather, rest is the mental and spiritual state of being in harmony with ourselves, the world and the divine. In this state, the soul is untethered from the pressures of life regardless of what we are doing.

I’ve found that the more I embrace this spiritual heritage of rest, the more I open up to an authentic experience of life as an introvert deeply attuned to my true desires, natural habits and what I have to offer the world.

If you’re an introvert, know that your need to rest and withdraw regularly is not a weakness. Rather, it’s a call to intentional living and an invitation to return to a wise equilibrium. It’s a chance to come home to yourself, and to find joy in the wonders of life that are often missed in a world of distraction.

6. Embrace your own path

Frank Sinatra famously sang “I did it my way.” So do it your way. Trust in the divine wisdom that made you exactly as you are for a reason. There really are no rules, so own your introverted weekends. Know that you are free to use this time on earth as you wish.

As you veer off the beaten track of conventional weekend expectations, you’ll discover a vast freedom to experience life at your own pace, in your own beautiful way, in your own comfortable skin.

---

Summer Edward is a writer, poet, educator, children’s literature specialist and wellness advocate from Trinidad. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and an M.S.Ed. degree in Reading, Writing, Literacy from the University of Pennsylvania and is the recipient of a Roothbert Fellowship awarded to people motivated in their life’s work by spiritual values. She uses the expressive arts to advocate for mental health wellness, personal growth and a culture of healing. You can connect with her at her personal website: www.summeredward.com.

You’ve read The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2jD0YmR

You’re reading 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It takes so much energy to stay mad at someone. Making sure the person who did us wrong knows we’re mad at them by planning on being visibly angry in his or her presence is emotionally taxing. What about if you live with that person? That’s a lot of acting! Sounds pretty tiring, huh? Learning to forgive and move on takes less effort in the long run than holding on to anger does. But why do many of us still hold on to our anger?

1. It’s easy!

Negative experiences are easier to recall than good ones…unless they’re extraordinarily good. Think back to that time when you had an angry confrontation where someone did or said something hurtful to you. Did you get over it quickly? Did it take some time to get over it? Are you still not over it? It isn’t pleasant to think about the times when someone has treated us badly.

I’m not suggesting anyone recall negative experiences to make them upset, but rather to show how easy it is to relive that bad moment and remember how it made us feel. All it takes is something small to trigger us and we’re suddenly right back in that moment.

2. It makes us feel safe

I know it sounds crazy, but staying angry can make you feel safe. Anger is one of the first emotions we experience from birth. When those angry cries are met with coddling, milk, and fresh diapers, we realize that crying gets us what we want.

As adults, when we get irately angry, we stop thinking clearly and the rational part of our brain shuts down. There is no reasoning with us and no calming us down; just stay out of the way. When we are in that state, we can’t think clearly and we probably don’t want to – especially if someone did or said to us that hurt or disappointed us.

Our anger saves us from having to admit we are hurt. That would make us feel vulnerable, unsafe. Nobody likes being around someone who is always angry, so people avoid us. It prevents the threat of having someone get close enough to us to try finding out why we’re angry. Keeping emotions bottled up makes us feel a lot safer emotionally than sharing them. We get exactly what we want.

3. It makes us feel powerful, in control

Some of us might get aggressive or even violent when we get angry. If we’re that upset, we might lack the words to express our anger in a more positive way. Sadly, this destructive behavior can make someone feel powerful. They were able to take this strong emotion and express it physically by destroying something (or someone). Just think. We actually have the power to destroy something.

It can also make us feel in control. Only we can decide we are not too angry to talk to the person who hurt us. Even if he or she wants to move past it, they can’t get past it unless we do. We can make them feel guilty for hurting us for as long as we want. We have the upper hand in the relationship (if we can still have one after what they did or said).

4. It allows us to get sympathy from others

If we’re to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that it feels good when people notice us. I don’t mean making us the center of attention; that could be embarrassing if we aren’t feeling the best. When someone shows they have been thinking of us or noticed we haven’t been our normal self, it can make us feel really good. When someone asks, “What’s wrong,” we shrug and say, “Nothing,” knowing they’ll continue asking what’s wrong. This game of emotional cat and mouse gives us the attention we want. At least somebody cares enough not to simply go away when we say nothing is wrong. It shows they care, and we like that.

5. We don’t know how/don’t want to let go

We are creatures of habit. That means that if something good happens to us, we want it to keep happening. We develop superstitions and routines that we do all the time – sometimes without realizing we do them. All we know is that we’re mad and ignoring the problem definitely is not the right answer, but we may not know where to begin to properly address it.

If being angry with people for a long time has become our pattern and we’re able to manipulate the situation until we get what we want it must be working for us! Why change anything? We might not even want to let go of our anger.

The best way to let go of anger is to first identify where it comes from and then take active steps to resolve it. That also requires some work and a whole lot of honesty.

Here’s to releasing ourselves from our anger!

You’ve read 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2jog38s

You’re reading Is There a Link Between Negative Emotions and Disease?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Do negative emotions affect your health? Conditions such as depression and anxiety have been shown to affect how we manage and treat our other chronic conditions but, even if one does not suffer from these conditions, unresolved emotions can pave the way for chronic diseases to manifest. These unresolved emotions include grief, anger, jealousy, hatred, guilt and shame to name a few. Now I am not saying that there is anything wrong with experiencing these emotions. What I am saying is that when these emotions are not allowed to percolate through our being but are repressed and ignored, emotional blocks can arise leading to physical symptoms which eventually manifest as illness. But how does one know if they have emotional blocks?

Emotional blocks can be identified by situations in our lives where we get triggered and have intense negative feelings which keep us from handling the situation effectively. Usually the situations that trigger these emotions are similar to emotionally traumatic or distressing similar situations that we have experienced in the past in our infancy, childhood and early adolescence. For example, if we were left to cry in the crib frequently when we were seeking attention and physical touch, this could be interpreted as abandonment by the subconscious mind. Similar situations in our adult life could trigger those same feelings such as being stood up on a date.

There are many experiences we have when we are young which, if not processed emotionally, can lead to issues later in life. These do not have to be major emotionally traumatic events such as physical or sexual abuse. They could be subtle and unrecognizable by those around us. For example, if, as a child, your sibling was offered a treat such as ice cream and you weren’t, this could be interpreted as neglect even if this was not your parent’s intention. If the parent does not recognize their child’s interpretation of this event as neglect, it will go ignored by the parent and perpetuate the feeling of neglect in the child’s viewpoint. Most children do not have the courage or the maturity to confront such feelings to see if there is any external validation for them, in which case they become lodged in the subconscious mind. In our example, the feeling of neglect will be translated as unworthiness by the child and can affect his or her future experiences such as whether he or she applies to the university of his or her choice, strives to obtain the job he or she desires or pursues his or her lifelong dream or ambition. Over time the feelings of neglect and unworthiness can result in depression and physical symptoms which can manifest as illness.

How do these negative feelings lead to illness? Suppressed negative emotions lead to chronic stress which leads to overstimulation of the adrenal glands with an increase in cortisol release. Over time, the adrenal glands will burnout leading to a decrease in cortisol secretion, so-called adrenal fatigue. This will result in a decrease in the inflammatory effect of cortisol, with rampant inflammation, eventually, leading to chronic disease. So how does on prevent this from happening? Like I mentioned before, the problem is not the negative emotions themselves as we are all bound to experience these at various points in our lives. The problem is not allowing ourselves to experience them fully and allow them to pass right through us. The truth is that we are multi-dimensional beings, mental, emotional, vibrational and spiritual, who take on a physical form for our journey here on earth. Our physical form, here on earth, has to and will experience the full spectrum of human emotion which is needed to experience ourselves as whole beings including the so-called negative emotions or the shadow self. It is only through the full human experience that we can know ourselves as whole. The problem is that negative emotions are often too painful to bear and we block and suppress them which results in chronic disease as I have already described. The main driving force for suppressing these emotions is fear of pain. However, our fears are often unwarranted.

There are two types of fear, psychological fear and actual fear. Actual fear is a real danger to our lives such as encountering a jaguar in the jungle. Psychological fear is those circumstances, conditions and feelings which our ego tells us will bring us pain. The problem is that the ego is only looking out for its own sustainability with no thought of our greater growth and development. Therefore, it often keeps us stuck in old paradigms and ways of thinking and being which keep us from growing which can only happen when we lean outside our comfort zones. One of the ways we can lean outside our comfort zones is to not resist our negative emotions and allow ourselves to experience them fully and completely. If we do this, we will realize that the feeling is simply our soul’s experience of a specific moment in the physical body and not to be feared as all feelings, at their core, lead us to inner peace and unconditional love. We can then gain clarity about what action we need to take in our lives to deal with the situation which led to the negative emotion. This is how negative emotions can be transmuted and fuel our journey to experiencing our higher consciousness which is our true nature. This is how we can also prevent negative emotions from leading to chronic stress and, eventually, to chronic disease.

Here is a case study to illustrate this point. I had a patient, who I will call Lisa, who came to me for shortness of breath and chest pain. She had multiple investigations including a CT scan of her chest which showed inflammation in her lungs and lymph nodes. I did a bronchoscopy, which is a test where I take a long flexible device with a camera and a light to go into her lungs and do a biopsy. This did not reveal any specific diagnosis and her symptoms persisted. I eventually referred her to a thoracic surgeon for a lung biopsy. Before this happened, she had planned a vacation to Trinidad, where she is originally from. While she was there her symptoms had, miraculously, completely disappeared but when she got back they returned. I then started to question her further about stresses in her life and it was then that she revealed to me that her marriage was not working and there was a lot of tension and conflict with her husband, who had not gone with her on the trip. This was proof that her symptoms were a direct result of her grief over her failing marriage because when she was away from him for sometime her symptoms resolved. She did not require much convincing that her symptoms were related to the grief and stress caused by her husband and she resolved to leave the situation immediately.

---

Can you recall a time when negative emotions derailed your health?

If you want to contact me you can go to my landing page at http://ift.tt/2krdhkL or email me directly at wholehealthexpert@gmail.com.

Nauman Naeem MD

You’ve read Is There a Link Between Negative Emotions and Disease?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2kzEIvK

You’re reading 6 Unusual Tips to Skyrocket Your Self-Esteem, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Has it happened to you?

You say sorry too often when sorry isn’t needed.

At a restaurant when the waiter gets your order wrong. At the mall when someone bumps into you. At work when someone misses your meeting, and it feels like your fault because you didn’t remind them.

Or maybe you struggle to accept compliments. Instead of saying thanks, you argue against the compliment. You downplay it. You attribute it to some coincidence.

The above, described my life. I had a low self-image, lack of confidence, courage or whatever you want to call it.

Maybe you’re in the same boat I was. Always thinking if only I could alter my self-image. If only I could boost my confidence. If only I could be the person I’ve always wanted to be.

But what if I told you, you could?

Dr. Maxwell Maltz said it best: “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”

The definition of self-esteem is your faith in someone or something. Maybe you’re overweight and lost faith in your body. Maybe you feel you’ve failed your parents. Maybe you feel you have failed yourself.

If so, this post might be of help.

Here are a few tricks that have helped me, and may help you too.

1. What If

If you experience self-doubt during indecision, ask yourself: “How would I act in this situation if I was overflowing with confidence?” Then, do it that way!

Your comfort zone is a dangerous place to be. If you want to grow, get out of it.

2. Here’s Why Affirmations Don’t Work

I know what you’re thinking. Not this again! But hear me out. Here’s the catch that most people miss.

You have to say your affirmations with feeling. What’s the difference between an owner’s manual and a best-selling novel? Emotion. Your subconscious mind doesn’t understand words, but it does emotion.

Repeat the following to yourself with as much enthusiasm as possible: Everyday, in every way, I’m getting bolder, more confident, and self-assured. At first, you won’t believe yourself, but if you tell your subconscious mind something long enough, after a while it’ll believe it.

3. Knowing vs Doing

It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying: “Meh, I already know this.” Instead as yourself: “Am I applying this advice to my life?”

Also, ask yourself if this advice can improve your life. If it can, it would be wise to test this new idea in your life by applying it.

4. Reverse Engineering

If you haven’t watched Amy Cuddy’s Ted talk, you’re in for a treat.

Self-assured people have a confident body posture. But Cuddy explains the reverse can also apply. If you’re feeling down, strike a power pose for 2 minutes to increase confidence. A power pose is any position that makes your body bigger and more open.

My favorite is feet on the desk with my hands clasped behind my head.

5. Outsource

I’ll be honest with you. Building confidence is possible, but it does take time. You won’t gain it overnight.

Until you reach your goal have someone be your confidence. Whoever inspires you. It might be Tony Robbins, Oprah, or whoever.

Reading or listening to their stories can be empowering. You learn about their sheer determination and persistence that got them where they are today.

6. Act Like a Nightclub Bouncer

Negative thoughts spread like weeds. As soon as one enters, they spread. You should be like a nightclub bouncer who banishes every negative thought that tries to enter your club of happiness.

Sometimes you feel powerless, but don’t let self-doubt take your power. You have the power to choose more positive thoughts.

Is it easy? Nope! But it becomes easier with practice. Driving also wasn’t easy. But the more you practiced, the better you got.

And it’s OK if you’re scared. Courage is being scared and still moving forward. As with self-esteem, you can also learn to be courageous.

You are not your beliefs. Someone else put them there. If someone put them there it means someone can remove them.

Don’t tell yourself the lie that you can’t do it. Because that’s all it is. A lie. People with way fewer resources than you have achieved more. Not because they got lucky, but because they wanted it.

The question is, do you want it bad enough? Do you want to be confident?

Instead of going through life with your handbrake on, rather rip it out. When (not if) your confidence skyrockets you’ll be in the fast lane. No need for slowing down or parking.

Let’s stop settling. Let’s stop trying to please other people, and rather please ourselves. To hell with what anyone thinks. If you’re happy, they should be happy for you.

Because isn’t being happy the purpose of life? It sure is for me. So let’s change that.

I’m game.

Are you?

You’ve read 6 Unusual Tips to Skyrocket Your Self-Esteem, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2klUveh

You’re reading How to Unleash Total Confidence From Inside of You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

So you want to feel confidence that’s running through every vein? The type of confidence that brings out the absolute best in you? That inner voice that makes heads turn, the looks that make people shut up, or the suggestion that makes people nod. You want the kind of confidence that when you walk into a room and own it.

There is no such thing as confidence potion or self-esteem vitamin, however.

The good news is that self-confidence can be drawn from within. Actually, that’s what should happen – if the confidence is real. It is not something that you necessarily have to get or buy from someone. You can draw it from your own stock inside you.

Let me share with you how you can use these reserves that are inside of you and see what we can do to poke them out to get that oozing confidence!

1. Recall those small successes that bring out positive emotions

Do you remember that day when you helped your boss recover an unsaved file; when you lost your way but eventually found your destination by keeping your focus; or when you placed in the top 5 in your exams unexpectedly? These were the wow-moments when you felt great and confident about yourself. Those were the days when you were willing to take the lead, no matter how it may sound insignificant or trivial, to make an impact in your life or of another.

Being confident is not a one-time package that you can get in one box and have it forever. You have to work for it. You have to discover bits and pieces of it in the things you do, the events in your life or even in your daily routine.

Hence, make it a daily exercise to draw those positive energies from within by spending quiet moments of reflection remembering those moments when you had those little or even big successes. Use them to face your challenges. It will surely make wonders!

2. Remove the negativity in your mind and in your life

In our lifetime, we are full of negativity- those we acquired from our childhood while we were growing up, those people who tried to knock down our self-worth with verbal abuse, those unfortunate events that we did not have control of but continue to haunt us. The examples would be endless if I would take the time to list them one by one.

Some of these still hound us on a daily or regular basis. They keep coming back precisely on those moments when we face the challenges that question our self-confidence and capability. There is nothing wrong with looking back for once but we have to do so quickly just to draw learning from them. Acknowledging the past is the first step.

Furthermore, while you can spend time for reflection on the good things, you can also spend part of that time to detoxify your inner self. Find out what good we can take from those unpleasant experiences and move on. Throw them away, try to forget them and if you can’t, seek appropriate help.

3. Reflect and visualize the confident you

Author Jack Canfield encourages visualization to help fast-track the achievement of those goals or dreams. He says it activates your creative subconscious and programs your brain to be more aware of your environment.

The practice of visualization was never a formal exercise that even many successful people do. A large number of them probably did so unconsciously in face of adversity or need to survive. They tried to learn and pickup from what they see from other successful people and feed their minds that someday they will get there if they work on their goals.

Use visualization to project your self-confidence. Who do you see yourself in the next five years? Like a rich educated gentleman who speaks and walks confidently? Like a team leader who can command respect from his members? Like a community leader who can courageously beat the odds to stand for what he believes in?

You can use your imagination to see yourself in the position of these admired persons. If you have to spend a time in your routine and meditate to imagine your goals; if you have to cut down images that represent your confident self and put them on a board; if you have to write descriptive words and record them in a diary for you to remember them—do so. It will help you realize your goals faster!

The truth about oozing confidence and what you can do about it

So you really want that powerful confidence to come out of you? Think again. There is no magic pill to give you that great confidence.

Oozing confidence is about drawing from your experience those winning moments and using them to face new challenges. It is about making yourself visible and truly relevant to your workplace, family and community. It is not about the noise but the impact you make in the place where you live.

It’s about time you make a choice. I therefore challenge you to make one little step to this journey – to join my community and support group. Let’s work on this together and see how far you can go!

—–
Rob Leonardo is the creator of successful email series turned into a book, Confidence Upgrade. He advocates building self-confidence around an alternative mantra “be bold assertive and happy.” He is giving away digital copies of his book next month to the first 100 new subscribers to his support community. Get access HERE.

photo credits: Tim Inconnu

You’ve read How to Unleash Total Confidence From Inside of You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2k1BiBr

You’re reading How to Unleash Total Confidence From Inside of You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

So you want to feel confidence that’s running through every vein? The type of confidence that brings out the absolute best in you? That inner voice that makes heads turn, the looks that make people shut up, or the suggestion that makes people nod. You want the kind of confidence that when you walk into a room and own it.

There is no such thing as confidence potion or self-esteem vitamin, however.

The good news is that self-confidence can be drawn from within. Actually, that’s what should happen – if the confidence is real. It is not something that you necessarily have to get or buy from someone. You can draw it from your own stock inside you.

Let me share with you how you can use these reserves that are inside of you and see what we can do to poke them out to get that oozing confidence!

1. Recall those small successes that bring out positive emotions

Do you remember that day when you helped your boss recover an unsaved file; when you lost your way but eventually found your destination by keeping your focus; or when you placed in the top 5 in your exams unexpectedly? These were the wow-moments when you felt great and confident about yourself. Those were the days when you were willing to take the lead, no matter how it may sound insignificant or trivial, to make an impact in your life or of another.

Being confident is not a one-time package that you can get in one box and have it forever. You have to work for it. You have to discover bits and pieces of it in the things you do, the events in your life or even in your daily routine.

Hence, make it a daily exercise to draw those positive energies from within by spending quiet moments of reflection remembering those moments when you had those little or even big successes. Use them to face your challenges. It will surely make wonders!

2. Remove the negativity in your mind and in your life

In our lifetime, we are full of negativity- those we acquired from our childhood while we were growing up, those people who tried to knock down our self-worth with verbal abuse, those unfortunate events that we did not have control of but continue to haunt us. The examples would be endless if I would take the time to list them one by one.

Some of these still hound us on a daily or regular basis. They keep coming back precisely on those moments when we face the challenges that question our self-confidence and capability. There is nothing wrong with looking back for once but we have to do so quickly just to draw learning from them. Acknowledging the past is the first step.

Furthermore, while you can spend time for reflection on the good things, you can also spend part of that time to detoxify your inner self. Find out what good we can take from those unpleasant experiences and move on. Throw them away, try to forget them and if you can’t, seek appropriate help.

3. Reflect and visualize the confident you

Author Jack Canfield encourages visualization to help fast-track the achievement of those goals or dreams. He says it activates your creative subconscious and programs your brain to be more aware of your environment.

The practice of visualization was never a formal exercise that even many successful people do. A large number of them probably did so unconsciously in face of adversity or need to survive. They tried to learn and pickup from what they see from other successful people and feed their minds that someday they will get there if they work on their goals.

Use visualization to project your self-confidence. Who do you see yourself in the next five years? Like a rich educated gentleman who speaks and walks confidently? Like a team leader who can command respect from his members? Like a community leader who can courageously beat the odds to stand for what he believes in?

You can use your imagination to see yourself in the position of these admired persons. If you have to spend a time in your routine and meditate to imagine your goals; if you have to cut down images that represent your confident self and put them on a board; if you have to write descriptive words and record them in a diary for you to remember them—do so. It will help you realize your goals faster!

The truth about oozing confidence and what you can do about it

So you really want that powerful confidence to come out of you? Think again. There is no magic pill to give you that great confidence.

Oozing confidence is about drawing from your experience those winning moments and using them to face new challenges. It is about making yourself visible and truly relevant to your workplace, family and community. It is not about the noise but the impact you make in the place where you live.

It’s about time you make a choice. I therefore challenge you to make one little step to this journey – to join my community and support group. Let’s work on this together and see how far you can go!

—–
Rob Leonardo is the creator of successful email series turned into a book, Confidence Upgrade. He advocates building self-confidence around an alternative mantra “be bold assertive and happy.” He is giving away digital copies of his book next month to the first 100 new subscribers to his support community. Get access HERE.

photo credits: Tim Inconnu

You’ve read How to Unleash Total Confidence From Inside of You, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2k1BiBr

You’re reading The 5 Best Podcasts on Ethics, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The word Ethics is derived from the Greek word for character (ethos) and the Latin word for customs (mores). It is a word to describe how individuals interact with each other. Ethics is about what standards and virtues we uphold in our societies, from rights to justice. The origin of our beliefs have a lot to do with what we were taught when we were younger or what environment we use to justify that principle. It is necessary to examine one’s own values to make sure they are reasonable. A society’s ethical standards must be bolstered by consistent reason. Here is a list of 5 podcasts that consider the nature of ethics:

1. The notion of moral responsibility can be impossible to find in an organization which is in and of itself, emotionless, however the assembly of people within that group can be morally and socially responsible if held accountable. This podcast is heavily complex to listen to, but makes a strong case for business ethics and corporate social responsibility.

http://ift.tt/2iYKdDZ

2. This is an interesting podcast series where we hear many different views on ethics within various professions. The voices we hear are primarily those of people in the 20’s and 30’s discussing everything from the ethics of archeology to the ethical issues surrounding athletic trainers. The variety of these podcasts presents a perspective that goes beyond social responsibility, it deconstructs the big picture so we can understand how ethics plays an important role in our everyday lives.

http://ift.tt/2kmbInb

3. This podcast tackles the issue of neuro-pharmacology (smart drugs and substances) taken by healthy people to enhance their performance, however, the assumption with this is that we know what is considered an improvement in the species. But a much greater concern is what kind of a society are we if we believe, for example, working excessively just because we can (with cognitive enhancement) is the right way to live. The serious ethical issue is that we don’t know the long term effects of these drugs, especially when children are given cognitive drugs.

http://ift.tt/2iYAKN5

4. Meta ethics tries to understand what it means for something to be right or wrong. Is it an opinion or is it fact independent of your opinion? Ethics begins with an assumption of what is right or wrong and meta ethics discovers whether they are right or wrong. It is difficult to verify moral claims however, if you perceive that if morality of an act is judged by its consequences, then that can be a measure of verification. Can one be objective about morality? This podcast is incredibly interesting in discussing these ideas.

http://ift.tt/2km4j7z

5. This podcast examines the myth of ‘patient zero’, when one man was mistakenly blamed as the originator of HIV in North America. In storytelling, (and in this case, a media story) we always try to get to the bigger truths by taking liberties with smaller truths. There seems to be a culture that wants to find blame when we have an epidemic, so there is a search for a place of origin. This podcast considers the ethics surrounding our need to identify its source.

http://ift.tt/2iYCPbI

Ethics is one of the most important values one can hold, as from an early age we are told what is ‘fair’, and what ‘is not fair.’ To answer these questions or to teach these values to our future generations or even to ourselves, requires one to have a constant dialogue with others and attune ourselves to what is truly ethical in terms of its benefits for society as a whole.

Do you read a great blog about ethics that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!

Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

 

You’ve read The 5 Best Podcasts on Ethics, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2jLvr0p

You’re reading How to Use Momentum to Your Advantage Every Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you’re not using momentum to your advantage, you may find yourself getting lost in a tangle day after day.

But by starting your day with activities that include reading, meditating, working out, and practicing gratitude – you will feel much more positive in the morning. By taking care of the little starts throughout your day, you’ll have a more rewarding day (more on this soon). You’ll move up the ladder of positivity quicker instead of being stuck in the middle.

This principle applies to every part of our lives.

Yet how often do we ignore this and opt for the easy road straight away? The croissant and coffee with the television on in the morning. The lack of greeting our neighbor. The rush to work because we’re late. And so, the day begins without an optimal mindset.

And then, we might be likelier to start eating poorly, snap at someone, or get frustrated with ourselves.

Not starting things off well, isn’t due to a character flaw we have; it’s simply human nature to favor taking the easy path. It’s easier to just roll into bed. It’s easier to unlock your phone first thing in the morning and check your email. It’s easier to be dismissive. But we can learn to opt to take the high road and train ourselves to start everything we do on the right note.

“Take the high road, there’s a lot less traffic up there.” Phillip C.Mcgraw

Albert Einstein once said that compound interest in life is the most powerful force in the universe. And I think this principle also applies to our daily lives. Everything we do is done once at a time. But the energy we bring to the next thing contains a residual power.

Ever notice how you feel after you’ve done everything that was on your plate? It’s a phenomenal state to be in, and everything that you do after, feels easier. That’s the power of momentum, and that’s what we should aim to cultivate more of in our lives.

Here are some examples to demonstrate this principle:

• If you start your workout well, you’ll be likelier to have a great workout
• If you make a good first impression on a client, you’ll be likelier to seal the deal
• If you smile at your neighbor and start things off on a pleasant note, you’ll be likelier to have a better conversation
• If you get in a good mood as quickly as possible after waking up, you’ll be likelier to feel good throughout the rest of the day
• If you get to work on time, you’ll feel more productive

With that in mind, we can become more aware of our little “starts”. That’s where the potential of anything great truly lies. Whether it’s at work, when we start a conversation with someone, or right when we wake up.

If all we do is concentrate on starting well, we can worry about the rest a little less. That’s because momentum will take care of the middle and the end, we just need to push ourselves along in the right direction first. When rockets make their launch into space, 80% of the fuel is used for take-off. The last 20% is just used to maintain the momentum of the journey.

The same principle also holds true in our lives.

If you’re interested in learning more about mastering your habits, get my free guide. Here’s what you’ll learn:

• First, you’ll find out how to split up your day into four chunks, so that you’ll worry less about external influences.
• Second, you’ll discover how to consistently celebrate your small wins, so that you feel more creative and enthusiastic each day.
• Third, I’ll show you the small productivity hacks that will take your output to the next level.

---

About the Author: Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about unique ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Guide explores ways people can make success easier.

You’ve read How to Use Momentum to Your Advantage Every Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2jONFjJ