3 Ways Meditation Changes the Brain and the Body

Meditation has been practiced by Eastern Cultures for thousands of years and is believed to offer many benefits including those which can help you become stronger and healthier.

The practice has been introduced to the Western Culture, and each day more and more people from western cultures are embracing the practices of meditation and are realizing the potentially large benefits that meditation offers in multiple areas of your life.

The benefits of meditation have been accepted by many medical experts as an important part of healing.

Matter of fact, the medical community has thoroughly studied the physiological benefits of meditation.

Furthermore, meditation has been accepted by mainstream health care providers as a method of stress and pain reduction.

The benefits of meditation are much farther reaching than that, but knowing that meditation is an accepted form of pain relief by many hospitals and doctors can give you the needed nudge to make meditation part of your healing process.

Medical experts agree that along with prescribed medical care, meditation can help control diabetes, psoriasis, rheumatoid arthritis, cholesterol, and many other medical conditions.

This means that meditation can help reduce the amount of medicines that you take and the symptoms of these ailments. Being less dependent on doctors if you have a chronic condition is one of the great benefits of meditation.

Relaxation and meditation both have a very powerful effect on the body and the mind. They can help you cope with all kinds of medical conditions, let you find enlightenment, and generally help you deal with life in a much more effective way.

Simply put, everyone can benefit in some way by learning how to meditate and relax, especially if they are suffering from stress-related illnesses.

Just taking a few minutes a day to relax will help you start to enjoy the benefits of meditation.

In my opinion, It’s almost impossible to name all of the benefits of meditation, but I am ganna give it try 🙂

Let’s explore the major benefits that meditation offers.

Physiological benefits

Meditation has been distinguished as a process that relaxes the mind and body and is used as a mean to counteract with the related stress that the modern life offers.

Meditation helps one in relaxing to the utmost heights. This effect of Meditation benefits the high blood pressure patients.

It also improves the immune system which in turn helps the body to fight off diseases and drastically lowers emotional distress and activity of viruses.

Moreover, the risk of cardiovascular disease and cholesterol levels get lowered through meditation.

Migraines and headaches are also dealt with by practicing meditation. It also improves the breathing capability in asthma patients.

It aids in relaxing the nervous system and regularizing the hormonal production and the endocrine system of our body.

Meditation even reduces the pressure on the heart and thus this lowers the likelihood of different kinds of heart diseases, eventually diminishing the levels of unease and stress.

Also, by balancing the mind and body through meditation, a person can promote positive physical and mental changes in themselves. During meditation, the body has time to recharge and regenerate any lost cells and repair the damages done by illness and stress.

Psychological benefits

The psychological benefits of meditation are vast and thus focusing the mind and turning inside helps a great deal.

Meditation helps in decreasing anxiety, irritability, and despair. It also aids in developing determination, willpower, and emotional stability.

One can also overcome their fears and phobias by using meditation.

Also, It helps in building the self-confidence of the practitioner and boost the feeling of creativity and vitality.

The deep breathing and focus used during meditations can enhance our memory and thereby increases our learning ability.

Meditation can bring about the feeling of self-belief, self-control, and better relationships.

With the help of meditation, we can control our mind and thus can make it go where we want instead of freely wondering with it.

Negative thoughts are gradually replaced by positive attitudes with daily practice of meditation.

Self-satisfaction is improved with a regular meditation practice; this is resulting in feeling happier, healthier and more at ease as we go through our days.

Spiritual benefits

It has been documented that meditation develops the quality of thinking process of individuals as they continue the regular practice of meditation.

Meditation can help us gain a new perspective on life and gain a greater understanding of life, our purpose, and our existence.

Meditation induces a greater level of spiritual repose and brings in harmony between the body, spirit and mind.

Meditation also widens and deepens the capacity of love and thereby changes our overall attitude towards life.

In the studies on cancer and AIDS patients, it is observed that many are most interested in meditation as a way of getting in touch with the divine and becoming more familiar with the other dimensions of life.

Self-realization and divine awakening can also be realized through meditation, and many have told stories about their awakening; just google it and you’ll be able to find tons of stories from people from around the globe about how meditation helped them become awake and enlightened.

So, above I highlighted three major areas where meditation can help you get the most out of your meditations.

So, are you ready to try meditation?

To get started, try this simple meditation exercise. It is very easy and only takes a few moments.

First, make sure that you find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably and won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and use your nose to take a deep breath that fills your lungs all the way down to your abdomen, and then slowly release it using your mouth.

Try this again and make sure that when you inhale you think of the phrase, ‘Cool, and clear mind.’ As you release your breath think ‘Calm and relaxed body.’

Keep your mind relaxed and focused on these two phrases. It is important to stay in the current moment and not think about anything else.

Keep doing this exercise for four to five minutes and when you are finished, you should feel relaxed and refreshed. That’s all there is to it!

If this is your first go at meditating, the relaxed feeling may not last for a long time, but as you continue meditating you will notice that your calm feeling will stay with you longer.

You may also notice that you will have a better handle on any situation that is bothering you if you meditate on it. This is only a sample of the benefits of meditation that you can enjoy if you learn to meditate on a daily basis.

So what are you waiting for, get your meditation on today!

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6 Questions To Ask Yourself On Your Way Through Life

We are born, we live, we die. Pretty blunt but that sums up our whole life.  What goes on the middle, obviously, is entirely up to you. You have choices to make. Some serious ones too. And you have questions to ask yourself. How many of you ask yourself questions as you go on through your journey of life?

Many of us are in the wrong jobs, wrong relationships, wrong places all at the wrong times. Funny thing about that though is that too many of us also feel we are stuck there. We’re not, you’re not. You have choices, right? If you find yourself reading this article from a place of uncertainty, then maybe some of these questions will resonate with you and help you on a new path.

questions1. Am I in the right job?

That’s a big one. Clearly we need to work to survive. Is your job the one you should be in until you retire though? Remember you are at work for 5-6 days a week, some 7 days. You spend more time at your job then anywhere else. Is the place you want to be? If not, can you change it? Of course you can. Are you ready to? That leads us to the next question.

2. Can I or am I ready to make changes?

You know some things have to change. You know exactly what has to change in order for you to be happy. Are you ready to make those changes? Are you there yet? What will it take to get you into that place to make these changes? Do you have to hit rock bottom of misery and despair? (I hope not). There are a lot of questions in this segment but change requires lots of questions and equally answers.

3. What do I really want to do?

With everything. Not just your work, or your family life or your day to day personal life, but in general, what is it that you really want to do? Is there a foundation you are passionate about that maybe you can help? Are animals your things? maybe you feel a pull towards the homeless or helpless. Life isn’t just about working, paying bills and dying. We are here for a bigger purpose. What’s yours? Find it, live it.

4. What more can I do?

To be happy, to feel fulfilled, to give back to the world, what more can you do? Is there something more you want to do? Do you want to leave a legacy? Do you want to sit quietly on the sidelines and help anonymously? Both are possible by the way. We can all do something to make the world a better place. We are all in this together, right? Do you want to be a part of changing the world? You can be.

5. Am I really in the right relationship?

Are you? How happy are you with your partner? Is it slightly ok or mediocre or is it mind blowing and blissfully beautiful? You married for richer for poor, in sickness and in health but do you regret those words now? Are you just going through the motions? Dig deep if you have to and get to the bottom of these. Talk to your partner. Maybe they feel the same way too and you two can reignite that passion, that flame, that desire and love. all things are possible where there is love.

6. In the end, will I have lived a full life?

Project forward. I get that we don’t know when our time is up but today, right now, are you living the life you are supposed to? If you knew today was your last day can you say to yourself, you lived a life of ridiculous joy or will you be sad and tell yourself there are things you wished you would have done. Will there be regret or contentment?

So many questions, so little time. This is the only life you have. One shot, one chance. Are you making the most of it or are you going through the motions in a haze wondering if there is more to this life than what you are living?

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5 Things To Remind Yourself When You Are In Doubt

As I’ve said before, there is no guidebook for life. We are gifted with parents and culture that can show us right and wrong, but after that we are left on our own. We have all been in a situation where everyday can feel like a struggle, and it’s not easy to know or fully understand the paths we should take; there are plenty of people who can aid and influence us to make the right decisions, but ultimately we are the only one’s who can pull the trigger. I wanted to give you a few tips for the next time you have to make some decisions – and remember, just breathe! It’s gonna be ok!

Feet wearing red shoes on black background with question marks. choice concept1. Everything is temporary

All day to day decisions come from a personal compound, an instinctive formula and pattern that allows you to survive to the best of your natural ability. We use this instinct to make impulsive decisions as well as one’s that affect our long term decisions making. As we go through the ebb and flow of life we have already learned that there is a bright side to everything, and that no matter what, we can come out on top. That’s because everything is temporary. I guarantee you, that whatever decisions you make today will certainly affect your life today, but in a few years from now it will just be something to laugh about. So go ahead, make a few mistakes – and laugh about it later.

2. Write down your pros and cons

This is so important. People think it’s adventurous and exciting to make split second decisions, hoping it will make them feel young and brave again – but then the regret sets in. We feel like we decided too quickly, and buyer’s remorse feels particularly profound when it’s something we can’t return, like a job change or relationship change. You need to spend more time seriously considering your options. Writing down your ideas gives you time away from outside affectors and lets you enjoy your brainstorming space, giving you a visual outlet for all the crazy synapses happening in your brain. You can have a viewable chart from which to make your decisions on. The problem is some people do this but leave this tactic aside for big, important decisions. Not necessary. Make it a better part of your routine, and you will find your day-to-day decision making improve, and enhance your whole life. Start writing today!

3. Make decisions from a happy place

If you are on the verge of a big or even a small decision, make sure you are in a good place to do so. Don’t make impulsive decisions from the seat of your car. It’s good to make instinctive decisions based on your intrinsic feelings, but sometimes we are moody or have good and bad days, which can affect our short term judgement. If you’re going to make a choice soon, make sure you are level headed. If you’re too excited, you might make an impulsive choice – if you’re upset, you might procrastinate until you’ve over-thought it to death. So go back to #2, have a nice warm drink, and clear your mind.

4. Ask for help

This is particularly difficult for some men to follow, but something I have been trying to be better at. We all think we know what’s best for us, but sometimes a little nudge from the side doesn’t help. We tend to be stubborn or withdrawn, hoping the solution will magically come to us in a dream. Not always so. Don’t be afraid to let down your guard and call up a friend or mentor who could help you. They may have thought of a perspective so completely different to yours that you would have never thought of it. In that case, good thing you asked! If your friend has a nouveau solution that really helps, you will thank yourself later for asking.

5. Be determined

If you’ve gone ahead with your choice, then hopefully that’s the end and there’s no regret needed. Strengthen your intuition by daily affirmations that your choice was the right one. You don’t need to overthink it, but you must stay the course now. Remove doubt from your mind and go with the flow. Remember, everything is temporary, and there is a fix for every situation if you went astray. But most importantly, you should always be proud of your choices. Best case scenario is everything works out; worst case, you’ve just learned something new to apply to yourself for the rest of your life – which helps you and everyone around you. So be strong!

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7 Reasons You Should Take A Break From Facebook

It’s no question these days that we are all hooked on Facebook. Whether you love it or hate it, it has become a prevalent part of our life as a messaging application, news source, and entertainment hub. People who complain about Facebook even go on Facebook to complain! What was once an American diet of 8 hours of TV per day has now transitioned into 8 hours of Facebook and Youtube per day. People are getting less done, and spending more time on the web. When was the last time you weren’t on Facebook in a 24 hour period? Let’s take a look at why taking a breaking might be a good thing!

facebook_addiction1. Get outside the windows

We spend all day clicking and swiping, closing apps, opening apps, and browsing clickbait websites. For some people, the first thing you see before bed, and the first thing you see in the morning is a Facebook application. Turn it off, take a break, and let your eyes readjust to the beauty of the world.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

As social creatures, humans love communication and, consequently, gossip. What place better to breed gossip than Facebook itself, where your newsfeed is constantly erupting with the private lives of everyone in your circle (or even out of it!). You can see who is having a good day, who’s buying new cars, how everyone’s kids are doing, so on and so forth. And it makes us start wondering, about our life, and how it stacks up. Are you posting about your achievements? About your day to day struggles? Yes? No? Who cares! Just forget about it. Comparing yourself to other people is deconstructive and doesn’t help anyone. Just be yourself, and love it.

3. Have more time for your hobbies

Perhaps you used to be a wonderful piano player, or a great wingman for your friends. These days, we’re getting older, lazier, and more content to just sit back and watch. Facebook is not helping us become more proactive! Take a break and limit your usage everyday to get back to what you really like, whether it’s knitting, croquette, or listen to some old records. Trust me, you will feel great!

4. Spend more time reading

I can’t argue that most of our activity on Facebook is indeed reading. However, it’s reading in short bursts – news clips, headlines, brief articles and captions. Take a step back and go pick up a book again. Sounds intimidating? Go for a magazine! Maybe even a subscription. Choose a topic that interests you, whether it be home decor or local fashion. You might find yourself involved in a magazine hobby soon enough that will have see you reading more and more. Read books outside of your general element. Learn about microeconomics, American politics, or the psychology of retail. Anything that will stimulate your mind to grow beyond the latest cat video on Facebook.

5. Play with new apps

You don’t have throw away the phone to resist Facebook. Instead of spending 30 minutes on Facebook in the morning, spend 10 minutes on Facebook and the other 20 minutes playing a new and intuitive app-game. You could be learning a second language, getting better at problem solving with puzzle games, or just getting to the next level of Candy Crush. Whatever makes you feel good. That way at least you are not spending the time getting more involved in gossip that does not concern you – and spending more time increasing your brain power.

6. Go out more

It’s strange to see someone at a coffee shop these days with out their head stuck in their phone. And it’s not helping our social life, either! Try to remember a time before the internet and social media age. When we went to coffee shops, we met our friends, and talked about interesting things together. Instead of editing selfies and posting about your coffee on instagram, try striking up a conversation with someone instead! You never know where your day will end up after that!

7. See a different perspective

There is nothing wrong with using Facebook as a news source, but one thing Facebook doesn’t do, is show us the opposition. Watching the news on Facebook will largely just show you things that you approve of, things you follow, and things that you find agreeable. Try subscribing to a real news source such as Flipboard, which will show you a wide range of global topics, and not just the ones you happen to Like on Facebook.

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The Wisdom of a Child

Do you remember what it was like being a child? Seeing everything for the first time? I doubt many of you can remember that far back, me neither of course. But everyone does see children every now and then in their lives, maybe you even have some of your own. And when you do see a small child, it is impossible not to notice just how full of wonder they are about life. Everything, even the simplest of things are filled with questions of how and why. Life for them is a magical playground with unbelievable moments around each and every corner. It really is beautiful to see. They interact with everything in a much deeper way than we do as adults. It’s refreshing to pay attention to and it makes you realize that even though growing up made us wiser, it left us with a lot less wonder about life and the world we live in. We have replaced that wonder with the feeling of normality. We have seen trees, we have felt snowflakes, we know what rain is, we have seen animals, we have smelt flowers, we have walked on grass… we have experienced all of those so many times before, that they raise few or no questions at all. In fact we no longer even realize we are experiencing them.

childA few days ago I watched a small child picking up a leaf from the street while his mom was talking to her friend. I saw the child looking at the leaf so full of wonder, so deep in thought. It made me smile and a spark of curiosity lit up inside of me as I watched him. From the bench I was sitting on, I also took a leaf and looked at it, just as the child had done. I held it in my hand, felt its texture and examined every part and detail up close for several seconds.

And as I inspected the leaf, I thought “isn’t this incredible? How is this real? How can this be? The structure, the feeling, the color?” I felt a sudden rush of amazement for the world, amazement that I am part of it all – all triggered by a simple leaf. I took a glance back to where the child and his mom had been. They had moved along, and were walking away from me, but I saw the child, still holding on to that leaf – and it made me smile all over again.

If we could trade our jaded – grown up eyes with those of a child, a simple leaf would spark enough interest, enough amazement and curiosity to make you feel glad to be alive. How incredible is that when you think about it? It’s a shame we have lost that kind of curiosity over the years, and with it the profound wonder about those small things in life. However it doesn’t take more than a small adjustment to our own eyes to make us see in that way all over again. Take a walk outside after reading this, and take notice of everything you witness around you. The wind blowing through the trees; the warmth of the sun on your skin; how the raindrops feel, falling all that way to earth and landing on you; the people, the smell of the air, your movements, a passing leaf… But this time, look at it all as if you are seeing and experiencing it for the first time in your life – and ask questions. Look at the wind, feel the sun and the raindrops, look at the people, smell the air and pick up that leaf and ask yourself how is it all possible. Because children see and experience everything for the first time, they pay so much more attention to it and therefore they connect with it at a much deeper level. They experience living so much more intensely than we do. Yet, the only thing they do differently is that they witness everything as if it is something new, something unique. And everything they see raises a hundred questions: why is that like it is? how does that work?

If we make that adjustment to our own eyes, and do the same – look at everything as new, as unique – life will become so much more interesting and richer. And by pretending you have never seen this all before, you’ll actually come to see things you never have seen before.

Now, if you beg my pardon, I’m going to get my jacket, and I hope to have you join me.

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5 Reasons To Pray More Often

When was the last time you took a moment out of your day to pray? The verb “to pray” no doubt affects different people in much different ways. To the strongly religious, it is a particularly important part of life, and is not to be taken lightly. To the casual believers, it was a part of our childhood but something we grew out of, something left for older people to do. And for the non – denominational, it sounds like an old wives tale or a waste of time.

Regardless of what religious category you fall in, we can happily say that prayer can be used largely in a non-denominational sense, and everyone can do it. Pray, and don’t be ashamed. Praying does not have to be a byproduct of religious beliefs or organization – it is a personal journey of health and prosperity.

victim1. Meditation

I like to look at prayer not as a petition to a higher body, but as a chance to meditate. Using the same principles of meditation, use your inner voice to take a few minutes and restore calm to your being. Perhaps you are under unusual amounts of stress, from family, work or otherwise. You owe it to yourself to close your eyes a moment and listen to your voice inside.

2. Learn from your ideas

Once you have come into a state of prayer, you have an opportunity to listen to your thoughts without the pressures of external influence. The need to pray does not have to come from a negative source, it can be an expression of optimism as well. Use prayer time as a way to channel positive energy and listen to and grow new ideas and concepts.

3. Change your routine

Meditation and prayer allows us to have some time alone – something valuable that a lot of us might not be able to get otherwise, especially if you are busy with work, kids, family, and other responsibilities. Allotting some time to prayer each day will give you an excuse to turn off the phone and relax in your room or sanctioned area and just close your eyes and think. It’s a healthy routine that so few of us actually put to practice.

4. Rediscover God

Most of us are from a religious family; perhaps our families were immigrants or from an older generation when religion was a staple of household culture. Although our values may have changed through time and the pace of socialism in our modern culture, there is a certain nostalgia to recollecting parts of our childhood – and there is no shame in reconsidering our opinion on the religious backdrops of our youth. Thinking about God and the omnipresence of of a deity gives billions of people even today hope for the future. Religion is ever present in the world, in all different forms. Without subscribing to any particular beliefs, it is a comforting idea to be able to construct your own opinion of God in the leisure of your home, at your own pace, without any organizing institutions. Just you, God, and your thoughts.

5. Count your blessings

There’s no better time than in a moment of meditation to give back to the universe what it has given you. Now you have a chance to reflect on all the things you are grateful for, which is a great way to get yourself out of any dark place. Say thanks for all the wonderful things in your life and all the great memories you are lucky enough to have. When was the last time you considered how lucky you were to be able to take that Caribbean island vacation a few years ago, or for that new smartphone you managed to get yourself? Use your newly allotted prayer time to examine the things in your life you are most fortunate about. Write them down; come back to them. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

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Being Happier: An Achievable Goal

Are you striving for happiness when just being happier is good enough?

I don’t know anyone who is happy all the time. Well, maybe the Dalai Lama, but aside from him, happiness eludes even the most cheerful of us from time-to-time. So, I don’t think your initial aim should be to achieve utter happiness. I would recommend that you aim at a target that’s easier to hit.

I think when our goal is not happiness but being happier, it’s more achievable. Also, it gives us something on which we can focus and measure on a daily basis. Being happier is easier to quantify than happiness.

morningBeing happier is a moment-by-moment decision. It’s easier to answer the question “what can I do to make myself happier right now” than it is to answer the question “how can I achieve happiness.”

Being Happier In The Moment

Here’s what I know about happiness from a personal perspective. I believe that you – not outside influences – control your level of happiness. I’m not ecstatic every single day, but I experience some happiness daily. I became happier when I stopped striving for the life goal of happiness, and just began enjoying a few moments during the day that would make me happier right then.

Now to practice being happier, you must first have the proper foundation. You’re probably thinking, “oh, boy, there you go Harry. A foundation sounds like hard work!”

Settle down there nitro. The foundation isn’t hard and it is based in scientific fact: it’s harder to be happier if you don’t get enough sleep, you don’t move enough, or you let yourself get hungry. In essence, being happier is found at the intersection of a sound mind and body.

Let’s take a look at the science behind these.

First, sleep.

It turns out that lack of sleep makes you more susceptible to negative emotions. According to the British Psychological Society, people who stay awake throughout the day become progressively more sensitive to negative emotions. In contrast, those who take an afternoon nap are desensitized to negative emotions yet more responsive to positive ones. The new finding builds on past research by showing that not only does sleep deprivation cause emotional problems, a sleep boost can bring emotional advantages.

So, even if you don’t get enough sleep at night, a quick nap can turn your day around.

Next, exercise.

Although I do recommend that everyone practice yoga and exercise with kettlebells, I’m not saying you have to do either to get enough movement in your day to affect you level of happiness. What if I told you that there is a research-based program that takes just seven minutes to complete? It requires only your own body weight and items you have around the house. The exercises include jumping jacks, wall sits, push-ups, ab crunches, step-ups onto chair, squats, tricep dips on chair, planks, high knees running in place, lunges, push-ups with rotation, and side planks.  According to an article in Lifehacker, the exercises should be performed in rapid succession, allowing 30 seconds for each (with a 10 second rest between exercises), while, throughout, the intensity hovers at an 8 on a discomfort scale of 1 to 10, (director of exercise physiology at the Human Performance Institute Mr. Chris Jordan says. Those seven minutes should be, in a word, unpleasant. The upside is, after seven minutes, you’re done.

Not ready yet for an intense seven-minute interval workout? Just get outside and walk for 10 minutes. A study indicates that just being outside makes people happier.

Hungry?

Then, you’re probably not happy at the moment. Science tells us that we should eat every four hours or so. In our hectic, fast-paced world, we don’t always hit that mark, and if we do we are often eating the wrong things.

Sugary, starchy foods may comfort us momentarily, but the elevated mood quickly passes, leaving us feeling cranky and irritable. In acute cases, we produce too much of a hormone called ghrelin — known as the hunger hormone — that may be a key to post-traumatic stress disorder and other stress-related mental illnesses.

What can we do to inhibit the hunger hormone? An apple a day helps keep the ghrelin away, as does wheat bran, rice bran, and green tea.

OK, now get that healthier foundation in place, so you can begin to build a happier life.

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5 Surprising Signs Of Low Self Esteem

Self esteem isn’t always so easy to have and or maintain. Sometimes even the littlest things can set us back into the vortex of low self worth and we wonder when we will get back on track. To have a healthy level of self esteem denotes that we don’t worry what others think of us and we are quite happy and confident in who we are.

So many things factor in to this, our self image. Body language, the way we dress, walk, talk and even the way we speak to people.  Throw into that mix if by chance you had an upbringing where you weren’t raised with any emotional love, support, encouragement or confidence building skills, well let’s just say, we’re almost doomed right out of the gate.

self_esteemFor some of us, as we got older, we worked on our self esteem issues and sometimes feel we have it all under control. Chances are, you probably don’t have it all sorted out. For others, recognizing the signs that indicate we have low self esteem might not be so easy. Below are just a few signs that may resonate with you.

1. Sorry sorry sorry.

You are always saying sorry. Big things, little things, things that aren’t even your fault. You are quick to apologize for things you didn’t do and even sometimes things that others did. You just always feel bad and don’t want to upset anyone. People with low self esteem will constantly apologize for fear that if they don’t, others will not accept them, think low of them or any other made up belief they conjure up their minds. Try going a day without constantly apologizing for anything you didn’t do and see what happens.

2. Shop til you drop.

You are always looking for that one item or thing that will make you feel good, look good, be accepted, fit in. You buy things you don’t need because you think they will fill a gap. There is always something missing and you believe that buying things will fill that. Things won’t make you happy or fill any voids.  It’s time to find pleasure and acceptance within yourself. You are enough and you don’t need useless items to satisfy you or justify your existence.

3. Your comfort zone is home.

You rarely leave the house because it means get ting out and either meeting or dealing with people. You are still afraid that people won’t like you. Their opinions matter in your mind. You still believe you are socially awkward and have a hard time keeping up with trying to meet the demands of others to fit in. Go back and read #2 . You are enough. You do matter. You have just as much right to enjoy life as the next person. Get out there.

4. You prefer Facebook.

Really you do. It’s easier to be liked and accepted on social media than it is in person. Hiding behind a screen, whether it be your cell phone, iPad or laptop makes you feel like you have increased, and wonderful, self esteem but in reality it’s just masking the truth which is, it’s low. As powerful and mighty as you feel on social media, you should try and practice that in the real world. Test it out, and then watch and see how your self esteem will gradually increase. Be confident. You are a good person with a great personality. Believe that.

5. You are very indecisive.

You don’t trust yourself to make decisions. You constantly question yourself. You would rather not have to make any decisions at all about anything and when you do have to, you stress about it tirelessly, doubting and questioning yourself every step of the way. Make the decision. There is no right or wrong. The right one will bring you something you might want, the other one will bring you adventures. Get out there, again.

Self talk is a brilliant way to help us in our battle with self esteem and all the other selves, worth, value, confidence, love, respect. Remind yourself how awesome you are. Tell yourself how smart you are. Don’t forgot to say to yourself that you are magnificent. You are.

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6 Ways To Deal With Regret

We are all trying to live the best life we can, but along the way there will always be bumps and obstacles trying to stop us from that. These can come in any form, whether personal or professional, and it’s the choices we make that dictate the future of our situation. And let’s face it – we don’t always make the best choices. Sometimes we make impulsive decisions without seeing the long term consequences; or take too long to make a decision, which leaves us desperate for an outcome. Whatever it is, we can all agree that there is no rulebook for life.

When we make bad decisions we are suddenly faced with regret (can you think of the last time you had buyer’s regret?), and the ramifications of regret can be extreme, from a few days, up to years of depression and “what- if ” thoughts. No one is an expert on it because we all deal with regret differently. Here are a few suggestions of how we deal it, to become happier people.

paralyzing_phrases1. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Easier said than done! Before or after we make decisions, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make the best decisions we can, especially after we’ve already made a bad move. It’s easy to kick yourself, but it’s not helping you get anywhere. Think about all the good things you’ve done in your life and remember how many obstacles you’ve overcome already. After that, you should be able to be a bit more gentle on yourself!

2. Take it slow

When I’m having a bad day I just remember the last words my grandfather told me – “take it slow.” After living a full life, how could I argue with him. And he’s right. When you are in a state of regret, your mind is overstimulated from “what- if ” situations and your brain is like a Japanese speed train. Take a few deep breaths and remember that life is long, and you can survive this little bump in the way

3. Everything is temporary

A great mantra for overcoming a currently unfortunate case of events is to remind yourself constantly that everything is temporary. Whether you like it or not, life is full of ups and downs. Surely it’s not difficult for you to remember the last time you felt great – and likewise the last time you didn’t feel so great. Already you can recognize that all bad times have a happy ending. Eventually, everything will clear up. So just hang in there, positive change is on it’s way!

4. Be more social

Although on most days you’ll want to crawl back into bed and watch TV all afternoon, regret does not go away when you’re trapped alone in your house. You need to shower, put some clothes and makeup on, and go see your friends. Don’t be afraid to send out a few texts asking what everyone is up to tonight or on the weekend. You might be feeling down, but your friends are still just that – your friends. They’re even there for you. Imagine! So join a guys/girls night, Share some laughs, forget about the stress, and soon you’ll find the dark clouds clearing the way for sunnier days.

5. Think ahead

This is so important I cannot stress it enough. At this stage in our life we’ve all had a few slip ups; if you haven’t, please tell us your secret. As hard as we have tried, we have learned that you cannot go back in time. There is no secret but ton to return to a less regrettable time and change our decisions. You must think ahead. Put all your positive energy and strength into improving your current situation, what you are left with after your decision making. You made those decisions for a reason – now it’s time to regroup your pride and energy and focus it onto the brilliant future. We’ve survived before – we’ll do it again!

6. Be grateful

There’s no better time to remind yourself of how fortunate yo u are, than when you are grieving about regret. No matter how far in you are, you can surely bring a smile to yourself through a little bit of gratitude. Consider the tablet you are using to read this on, the phone you are receiving texts with, the car you’re stuck in traffic in, and the cozy home you have to sleep in at night. We have food, water and shelter. No matter how poor of a choice you made or what kind of regret you are bearing, remember, it’s not so bad! We have a quality life that billions of people in the world dream of having. Let that put a smile on your face; instead of thinking of what you’re missing, say a prayer and be thankful for what you have.

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Dogs Don’t Care About Being Rejected

There is something powerful and negative about rejection that, no matter how trained you are, it will affect you emotionally. However, these emotions are there to teach you something, to help you to improve, to guide you to grow as a person.

Therefore, when we talk about dealing with rejection, the purpose is not to stop you feeling the rejection entirely, but to feel it only as much or as little as necessary to learn what you need to learn from it and then to move on.

got_happinessDogs don’t care about being rejected.

That is a bold statement and, if you have a dog, probably you’ve noticed that your dog does care about being rejected… for about 10 seconds.

My dog, Jack, taught me a lot about how to move on from being rejected and this is the experience I will share with you today: how to move on from rejection- the dog’s style (please, take this with a smile and hear me out before considering to reject this idea.)

Now, what is a dog doing when being rejected?

Step 1. He is in pain for 10 seconds, looking rather helpless.

Almost breaks your heart and you almost give in. It is not the helplessness that makes you feel guilty, but the dog’s secret weapon. A secret weapon that all living thinking creatures have, including us, humans.

Step 2. Unleash the secret weapon.

Take a big breath in and breath out with a sigh at the end. Then, use the weapon: innocence. Make an innocent face.

This weapon is not only useful to make the other person a bit sorry for rejecting you, but also to free yourself from negative thoughts.

Why innocence? Because people can’t stay mad on an innocent living creature. Can you?

Plus, my dog is doing it every single time, and it is working. I don’t give in, but I can’t be annoyed with him either.

Step 3. Retreat in the arms of someone that loves you.

This step is meant to calm you down, to regroup; to receive a positive reinforcement that you are still loved, still appreciated, still valuable and to recognize the fact that, even though somebody hasn’t been too good to you, many others are.

Step 4. Design a new plan of action.

When you are rejected could feel like is the end of the world or that there is no point in trying again.

However, failure is not an option when you have other options as well. Failure is only the response to your action or behavior. It doesn’t define who you are or what you are capable of accomplishing.

Take the learning from the first try and make a new plan.

Step 5. Place yourself in the spot that gives you the best chance of success.

If you observe a dog how he is making the second attempt to get what he wants, you will notice how carefully he is choosing where to sit in the room.

  • First, he wants to have his eyes on the price.
  • Second, makes sure that you see him and that you can’t avoid him.
  • Third, he is looking wistful directly into your eyes.
  • Fourth, looks at the price again for a brief moment and sighs and then, looks back into your eyes.
  • Fifth, he begs, adopting the innocence face.

I’m not suggesting to do exactly how the dog does; that could be a bit creepy, isn’t it? However, you can use the same principles when you ask for what you want.

  • First, know what you want.
  • Second, make yourself visible without invading the space of the other person. Choose your place so that you can’t be ignored.
  • Third, look people in the eye when you speak. Be confident and, if possible, give reasons why they should give you what you’re asking.
  • Fourth, let people know how much that something could mean to you, and how they can be a hero that day by helping you.
  • Fifth, make the innocent face and smile.

Step 6. Try again following your new plan of action.

If you haven’t been successful yet, try again in a new way, and then another way and another way until you get what you want, or there are no other options left.

Step 7. Give up and move on.

When you have tried everything and nothing worked, it is time to give up and move on… at least until you find another way.

What a dog doesn’t do when he is rejected:

  • Doesn’t take things personally.
  • Doesn’t believe that you are mean for not giving in.
  • Doesn’t believe that there is something wrong about him for being rejected: maybe is too much to ask, maybe is the approach, perhaps is the timing; whatever but not him!
  • Doesn’t linger on feeling sorry for himself. There is no point in that when you can use your time and energy to find different ways to get what you want.
  • Doesn’t stop at one person with the request. If one person refused him, he tries his fortune with the next person and then the next and then the next, until he finds the right person for him.

My dog is a happy dog. He knows how to ask and when he doesn’t get it, he quickly regroups and moves on. Tomorrow is another day!

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