You’re reading 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

How often do you feel like you are your own worst enemy? You frequently may find that what stands between you and the life of your dreams is… you. I have been a psychologist in Los Angeles for over three decades, and I’ve designed several strategies that can help you to get over the fears and resistance that keep you from living a life you will love. But, first, I want to explain why you feel this fear and resistance in the first place.

Fear drives all of our decisions. It’s a biological fact, and it comes from evolution. If human beings weren’t a fearful species, we wouldn’t have survived for long in a world where many other creatures were bigger and stronger than us. We were afraid, so we were careful, and we survived. Fear also kept us in communities. We were afraid of being cast out of the tribe — and thus starving to death — so we learned to behave in a way that made others like us and want us around.

Fear-driven motivation worked well over thousands of years of human evolution. The first step toward breaking free from these fears is to thank your early-human ancestors and recognize that the voice in your head that’s telling you to stop, slow down, and be rational comes from their reality, not yours.

As soon as you formulate a vision for what you would love, that fearful voice starts questioning its validity, and your authority and ability to pursue it. That voice is trying to keep you safe. Thank it, then set it aside to refocus on your vision.

Remember: the real purpose of life is to truly live.

Dismissing that warning voice won’t come easily. Choosing your heart’s desire over fears and insecurities may be a daily struggle. But moment by moment, day after day, choosing your dreams over your fears is the most important choice you will ever make.

You must allow yourself to feel all of your feelings. Denying that you’re afraid won’t do any good; instead, you will be helpless to make a change. Acknowledging “what is” will help you take the power out of self-doubt. Then you can move forward by trying these five strategies to help you combat the fear and resistance holding you back:

1. Start Right Now

“There is no time like the present” becomes truer the older you get. Every moment is a potential starting point to create the change you want in your life. Knowing you’re finally on the path will feel exhilarating and will help drive you farther forward. Start now by taking one small step toward your goal. That small step can be number 2, below.

2. Create a Workable Plan

Break your goal down into manageable steps. If your dream doesn’t seem “realistic,” it may be because you’re trying to do too much all at once. Even “unrealistic” goals can be achieved if done one small step at a time. Find a quiet moment to sit down and write out a plan to achieve your dream, one step at a time. If it still seems unworkable, break down each step further.

3. Be Flexible

Even when you’re working on a project of your own choosing, it can sometimes feel like you’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do. This is when procrastination can happen. It’s your counterwill — your instinctive resistance to being told what to do — at work. To overcome your counterwill, build some flexibility into your plan. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, for example, give yourself flexibility about what time of day or where you write, or what order you write chapters in.

4. Be Proactive and Resourceful

Part of being a good steward to your life and your dreams is anticipating your needs. Educate yourself about the challenges you may come up against as you work toward achieving your goal. Then build a structure that will help you overcome these challenges. If money is a challenge, for instance, don’t push off dealing with it. Be proactive about it. This may require some creativity and persistence.

5. Let Go of Notions of Success and Failure

Stressing out about your progress or worrying what others think detracts from your focus on what you love. You can experience life only one moment at a time, and, by living fully according to your heart, you cannot fail, no matter the outcome, because you are living a life you love.

Whether your goal is to write a novel, build a home, or travel around the world, you can make your dream real once you overcome the fears and resistance holding you back. Afraid to start? If you read this article, you just did.

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Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, has over 35 years of clinical experience as a renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and author. In her work, Dr. Brandt reveals positive paths to emotional health that teach you how to reinvent and empower yourself. She emphasizes the mind-body-heart connection as a key to mental, physical, and emotional wellness.

You’ve read 5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How To Build a Network for Positive Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Admitting to yourself that a relationship is not serving you is a very difficult thing to do. If a relationship is damaging to you or if it is blocking you, then it’s time to reevaluate its presence in your life. Let me ask you a question. If you took all the energy you put into your parasitic relationships and invested it in yourself instead, where would you be? Resentful and exhausted at the end of each day and dreading getting up the next morning? Or fulfilled and ready for a restful night’s sleep and excited about tomorrow?

If you’re in relationships that are taking more from you than they are giving, it is time to redefine them or get out of them without any excuses. If the people in your life aren’t embracing and supporting the growth in your life, then it is time to change the people you’re around. One of the most empowering steps I see my clients take is to develop a positive support system. In my work, I have observed those who come to me with a support system in place and those who happen to be without one. Those surrounded by functional families, healthy social lives, and work environments with colleagues they respect have a tendency to take quantum leaps in their growth, unlike those who are isolated from family, have no interest in listening to others’ opinions, and don’t cultivate peer relationships at work.

If you’re broke and hanging out with broke people, your mind-set isn’t going to change, nor are your circumstances. Few of us can rid ourselves of parasitic relationships until we have the support of a network of people who are truly interested in nurturing our best selves. Women thrive when we support each other, rather than tearing one another down because of the deeply embedded masculine view that there is room for only one at the top. When we structure our support systems so we can be honest with others.

Being in a supportive network teaches us many things. First, when we make time for positive relationships, we have less time for those who are draining and pressuring us. Second, we learn how to receive help from others. This is key to becoming a Leader of Change. There is a natural flow of give-and-take. Your support system will be there for you and have your back when you start to doubt yourself or find yourself falling back into old patterns. If your friends are also learning how to let their potential flow through them, your success is much more likely.

Samar Shera author of Strut: How Every Woman Can Be a Leader of Change, works as an integrated clinical hypnotherapist and life coach and is certified in energy modalities such as Reiki, Theta Healing, and the Law of Attraction. Brought up in an Islamic Pakistani family living in Dubai, she defies stereotyping and dramatically expands the international conversation about the universal rights, needs, and desires of women and girls. http://www.samarshera.com.

You’ve read How To Build a Network for Positive Relationships, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading  11 Ways to Build Trust with Your Body Language, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Trust is the core need for every human transaction, whether it is in business, family matter or in your love life. If you want others to listen to you, need to inspire trust and getting people to trust you it s often a tough affair.

Social psychologist and proponent of the power-pose, Amy Cuddy says, “Trust is the conduit for influence: It’s the medium through which ideas travel. If they don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead in the water. If they trust you, they are open, and they can hear what you are offering. Having the best idea is worth nothing if people do not trust you”.

Putting this fact parallel to our body language, which is amongst the most crucial and sound part of our personality, there are certain ways to build trust with body language. Our body language makes our statements more assertive, enrich the message, and reflect confidence, which works as a catalyst to build trust. Body language helps us to express our thoughts with better clarity and create a better connection to the person next to you. This connection is the seed of trust that you can plant.

While computing this thought, let us talk about some convincing practices to be trusted or get others trust in you, while using body language. Here are a few simple ways and hints for using right & decent body language.

1 Eye Contact:

The above all thing! Your eyes reflect as the mirror of your self-confidence and help immensely in building trust. Maintaining eye contact when someone is talking will help to build credence because it shows how genuinely you are interested in listening what they are saying.

Try to make consistent eye contact during conversation. “Listen with your eyes,” says Paul Zak, Ph.D. author of Trust Factor: The Science Of Creating High-Performance Companies.

People always used to judge anyone by their eye contact. Another critical factor is blinking. Blinking too much also may affect the listener. So maintaining consistent eye contact is very important.

2 Nodding & Smile:

While someone is interacting with you, let that other person realize that you care for their words and genuinely listening to the person. Nodd your head when they are talking & explaining things, it shows that you agree and accept their thoughts and consider their opinions.

Smile! It is never wrong, and it is in itself is a potent weapon in today’s life. Your smile can disarm anyone, even to your enemy. Smiling genuinely will relax any situation. But do not smile too much as it often looks fake.

3 Uncross your Arms & Legs:

Do not cross your legs and arms. Let them realize that you are unbound, and your opinion is free. Sit or stand with open arms, hold your palms open and make sure your body looks open.

This way you will also look more open to welcome others thoughts. Do not point your fingers while interacting as it may seem as you are accusing the person.

4 Distance & Body Posture:

Maintain an appropriate distance and body posture express your interest, your confidence, and your firmness. Stand straight, look firm while interacting with the person. Standing face to face is better.

Do not stand too close as it gives a message that you are intervening the other person’s space and sometimes threatening the person.

5 Stable Head:

Don’t move your head a lot during conversation, move your head very little as if you are sincerely interested in the other person and attending their views

6 Furrowed Brow:

Your forehead also gives significant signals. Raise your brows to give the expression of surprise. To give the expression of sympathy and concern for someone’s troubles pulled together brows translates your gesture in a better way.

7 Watch Your Voice Tone:

Technically voice tone does not exactly come in body language, but it is crucial how you roll out your words to implant trust in between. Your tone can make you seem rushed or bored.

Keep your voice on the natural pitch because it is a cue that can be detected even on phone calls. Keep your voice tone as natural as you can keep it. Because Sometimes It is not about What you Say but about How you Say it.

8 Your Concern:

Showing your concern about them and their affairs to build trust. Be attentive, listen far more than speaking and keep the attention on their pleasure. Tilt your head forward to show interest.

9 Wrong Touch:

Light touching a friend on hand can show your support, display your concern and sympathy for that friend or the person you are interacting with. But touching on shoulder or elbow can make the person uncomfortable, particularly in case of women, they get irritated so do not use these tactics in any conversation. Such acts not only cause them lose interest but also show you disrespectful.

10 Respectful:

Till the time the respect part is missing, trust is somewhat impossible to gain. So while interacting with someone whether you agree or not, whether you are interested or not show your respect for the person.

11 Come Down To Their Level:

Sitting on a higher chair than others indicates as you are dominating over them and it is not good and not in your favor if you’re trying to build trust.

“Trust Makes The World Go Round”. And these are some Simple, magical and straightforward phrases that can qualify you to get their trust.

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Joseph Payne is the marketing manager at CouponsMonk.com, deals and discounts provider company. He is passionate about money savings, investment and finance industry. In addition, Joseph also supports non-profit agencies that provide healthcare solutions to handicapped and disabled people.

You’ve read  11 Ways to Build Trust with Your Body Language, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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