Everyone wants to be known for something. You might watch explorers on the National Geographic Channel, read about Nobel Prize-winning innovators, or follow fictional characters to live vicariously through their adventures. But when you reflect on your situation right now, are you doing everything you can to live the life you’ve always dreamed of?

Although you might not be elected president or become beatified, you can still harness your inner strengths to achieve your own definition of greatness. But first, you have to get out and start living.

When you’re feeling down in the dumps or just want that extra boost of motivation, these words from some of history’s brightest minds are sure to inspire you to take control of your destiny.

10. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” — Dr. Seuss 

Dr. Seuss is best known for his eccentric storybooks and characters, but you’ll also find his refreshingly witty and inspiring quotes adorning cubicle walls around the world. That reflects the universal nature of his insights. No matter where you are in the world, his words will speak to you.

Many times, we forget to live in the moment — especially in times of stress. But these trying times are the ones that teach us the most valuable life lessons. The real tragedy occurs when we fail to see the value in both good and bad experiences. It all starts with perspective. Don’t breeze through life without recognizing and learning from mistakes and triumphs. Take time to reflect on these situations, but never forget to live in the moment.

 

9. “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” — Nelson Mandela

At one point or another, you’ll face a challenge that tests your inner strength and faith in humanity. These are the moments that will define you as a person.

The best advice I ever got was to trust my instincts and never give up, and it paid off. Although I can’t necessarily relate to Nelson Mandela’s life journey, I can connect with his words. When it feels like your work is leading you in circles or your contributions are being ignored, keep pushing forward. Even if no one is watching, you’ll achieve fulfillment and contentment, and that alone is worth the fight. Just imagine what would happen if more of us realized that difficulties in life are simply intended to reveal inner strength. There would be an army of us waiting to conquer the world every day.

 

8.“The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”
      — Vince Lombardi 

I wish I could’ve played in the NFL simply to have Vince Lombardi as my coach. Just five minutes in a locker room with his encouraging words could’ve inspired anyone to suit up and hit the gridiron like a gladiator.

Coaches are meant to motivate and cultivate the very best abilities in their players. But not many know how to do it like Lombardi. To successfully motivate a roomful of people with varying personalities and skill levels is a gift.

You don’t have to be a football fanatic or even know much about sports to feel uplifted by his wisdom. If fact, there’s a good chance you’ve read his words — or even quoted him — without realizing it.

 

7. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou 

A respected author and poet, Maya Angelou was a strong-willed woman who understood the simplicity of life. You might be prepared for life to hand you lemons, but what happens when you come up with oranges instead? Some of us will throw in the towel, while others will see the potential behind the new-found gift.

Don’t just throw away the oranges (or whatever life gives you). Find a way to change your situation. And if that isn’t possible, learn to make the best of what you have. If you can perceive every unexpected situation as an opportunity rather than a setback, you’ll start ridding your life of negativity. And without this weight holding you down, you can begin enjoying life and seeing the potential in every situation instead of complaining about it.

 

6. “You’ve always had the power … you just had to learn it for yourself.”
    — Glinda the Good Witch of the North from “The Wizard of Oz” 

There’s no greater critic than you, and many times, it’s your own self-doubt and fears that hold you back. You might have abilities you never realized, and only through living will you learn to tap into your true potential and uncover your hidden strengths.

As you grow older, each milestone you reach will lend a little more experience, and that will help you approach the next obstacle with renewed confidence and wisdom. Don’t live in the past. There are a million reasons you can fail. You just have to believe in yourself. Otherwise, you’ll miss out on every chance you don’t take.

 

5. “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful … that’s what matters to me.” — Steve Jobs

Material possessions and status won’t lead to sustained happiness. Living a life of purpose is what motivates and encourages you to wake up every day and face any obstacle in your path. And this happiness has a domino effect. As long as you do what you love and love what you do, the rest will fall into place, and you’ll have enough money.

It took a while before I understood that there’s no “right time” to do anything. I was wasting time going through the motions to live a comfortable life instead doing what I truly love.

Steve Jobs pursued his passions, and that made his path easier. But we can achieve the same fulfillment in life without having to invent the Mac, iPod, or iPhone.

 

4. “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”
      — Coco Chanel 

Few people say what they mean, aside from those “no filter” friends or foes we have in our lives or have already pushed away. But how liberating would it be if all people had the strength to voice their opinions and beliefs without the fear of retribution? When saying the wrong thing at school, work, or even a grocery store can cue the drama, most of us would rather stay quiet to avoid these potentially unnerving situations.

But saying what you mean doesn’t constitute bad-mouthing. It simply means exercising your freedom of speech and making it a priority. No person should fear disagreeing with someone. Testing and challenging each other’s opinions and beliefs is what pushes us to explore new perspectives, learn about ourselves, and progress.

 

3. “Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” — Mother Teresa

Not many people truly live for others, but Mother Teresa devoted her entire life to those around her. She found solace in surrounding herself with the poorest and most diseased people on Earth and spreading happiness among them. Unfortunately, her death was overshadowed by the royal wake of Princess Diana, but her legacy far outshines many who have come before her.

On days when you don’t want to get out of bed and face the world, use that negative energy to fuel your creativity and break out of your routine. Every day is a gift. Why exert energy bringing down people when you have the power to improve their lives with your words and actions? Life is too short to waste one moment doing anything that doesn’t bring happiness to you or those around you.

 

2. “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” — Abraham Lincoln

Whether at school, work, or home, we have all been asked to lead at one time or another. Maybe you were captain of the kickball team, led a company project, or simply were the first car in line at a red light on a one-lane street. This taste of power tested your true character and reflected what your leadership ability would be if you really held all the cards or called all the shots.

If you’re ever given an opportunity to lead, follow the advice of President Abraham Lincoln and think about how your power is affecting those around you. Instead of focusing on what you want done, take the time to consider how you can inspire and motivate others to work with you. Only then will others perceive you as a trusted and respected leader.

 

1. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every day, you’re slowly forging the path to your own destiny. If you spend each day curled up on the couch, you can’t expect to be anything more than mediocre.

Unfortunately, the fear of rejection, ridicule, or even criticism holds so many of us back, but you need to strike the right balance to achieve greatness. Stop thinking so hard about your fears or waiting for the universe to change you, and start acting like the person you want to become. If you ever feel stuck in a certain life or position, remember that you have total control over the person you are each day and the power to stop and change directions at any moment.

Not everyone will end up leading a nation, setting Guinness World Records, or starring in an Academy Award-winning film. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live a meaningful life. As long as you do what you love, spread joy everywhere you go, and take control of your fears and destiny, you’ll start making the most of each moment and discovering what true happiness is all about.

Daniel Wesley founded Quote.com to provide consumers with car insurance quotes from leading carriers.

The post 10 Quotes That Will Make You Get Out and Live, Damn It appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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“The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one.” -Joan Baez

There comes a time in every relationship where you feel you are at a crossroads. The point at which you question who you’re with and who you’ve become. It’s long after the honeymoon haze of dinners and impromptu flowers. And after the power struggle stage that acts like a minefield of seemingly innocent traps. For me, it often comes at the moment right when I have to go “all in.” The moment when I get hit over the head with a cartoon-like anvil and say, “Wow! This person is not the person I signed up to be with!”

Being the former codependent and self-help junkie that I am, I tend to blame myself or pathologize the situation. “Why am I like this? Why is HE like this? Why don’t we get each other?” And each time, it comes down to the same issue: we teach people how to treat us.

As I fantasize about kids’ names and curtains, I tend to forget that relationships are sacred contracts. Each of my relationships have been spiritual assignments I unknowingly chose to teach me lessons I cannot learn on my own. The problem for me has always been that I enter into this contract largely unaware of what I’ve signed up for.

For example, in a contract with a former boyfriend, we made an unspoken deal: I had abandonment issues and what I needed from him was safety, certainty, and constant reassurance that I was loved. He, on the other hand, was emotionally constipated and could not deal with his own emotions, let alone mine. Thus, in this unspoken agreement, I promised not to push him on his feelings and in return, he agreed to stick around. And while that hardly sounds like a recipe for love, it served us both. He held me safely in my cocoon so I could “heal.” In return, I did my best not to rock the boat. Not surprisingly, it slowly and epically fell apart.

“How could this happen? What changed?” I asked myself.

The truth was that I changed. And, like any contract, it expired. The “safety” I sought soon led to stagnation. As a human being, it is only natural that I would grow and evolve. Thus, the contract needed to be renegotiated.

I came to realize that a relationship contract can only work when it allows both people to be their truest selves. If the cost of being in the relationship meant silencing my voice and my truth, the price was too high. Self-love needed to be the cornerstone of all my relationships. I needed to truly believe that self-love is not selfish, but is instead the highest expression of self. Having wants, needs, and desires didn’t make me a bad person, it made me a whole person.

 The key to a beautiful and rich relationship is two whole people who are willing to write and rewrite contracts that are aligned with each other’s highest truth. Had we showed up for our relationship in a mature space of self-love, the contract would have demonstrated the integrity of our love for each other and the assignment that our souls had agreed to learn together.

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” -Thomas Merton

The Desire to Change

Of course, knowledge and awareness are not the same thing. I knew I was not expressing what I wanted in a relationship, but I didn’t have the awareness to change it in real-time (Hindsight is 20/20!) As I repeated the cycle of unconsciously signing relationship contracts, I began to notice that my life resembled the movie “Groundhog Day.” Sure, the cast changed, but the plot always remained. I stopped growing and began feeling stuck in all areas of my life. And it was at that moment that I knew that blame was only going to get me so far. If I wanted to change my relationships, I’d have to change myself.

I’ve spent the past few years renegotiating many of the sacred contracts I’ve unconsciously agreed to, be it with parents, friends, coworkers, and romantic partners. I’ve learned not to sign the metaphorical contract with the belief that people should be able to read my mind, and that I, in turn, can read theirs. I no longer set myself up for unmet expectations and disappointment. I’ve finally learned that communication is the key to connection.

Renegotiating Contracts

So what does renegotiation look like?

At first, there was a bit of trial and error.

I tried changing my behavior.

Setting boundaries.

Fumbling through awkward conversations.

Walking away with love.

The relationships that grew stronger were the ones where BOTH of us had the courage and willingness to look at our agreement and update it. That meant I had to decide:

• What wasn’t working for me
• How I contributed to the issue
• How I could set boundaries
• How I would maintain them

And when a new behavior broke from an old pattern and merited a conversation, I had it. I openly discussed what wasn’t working for me and what I needed. I then gave the other person the space to do the same.

Of course, many did not go this route. Some contracts that expired. And that’s where the magic happened. After all, awareness creates choice. And once I got honest, it became too clear to ignore that I had already learned what I needed to from those relationships. On a karmic level, they were complete. Thus, it was time to release each other with love, cutting the cords and surrendering the outcome.

And while that was painful, it was an opportunity for me to realize how much I had grown. I was no longer the girl who feared abandonment. I was the girl who had the ability to choose herself.

New Contracts

As I enter into new relationships, here is the clause I mentally write in bold:

“I will do whatever I can to meet your wants and needs, but only as long as they are in alignment with my highest truth. No guilt trips. No blame games. No power plays. No sacrificing either of our desires to please the other.”

The ultimate commitment is trusting each other to share our deepest desires while setting and respecting our own boundaries.

So what does it take?

Courage. It takes deciding to be vulnerable and being brave enough to express what you want in a relationship. And yes, it’s scary to lay out what you want. But isn’t it scarier to turn your back on your truth? Once I decide to get out of my own way, I do the following:

1. Clean up my side of the street. I look at my relationship from an outside perspective. I imagine stepping out of my body and into my higher self. This pulls me out of the drama and allows me to see how much of what I’m expecting him to give me is what I could be giving myself.

2. I get clear on why I’m doing this. My intention in entering or redefining a contract is to have two people come together as equals. Its establishment says that we will both make an effort to meet each other’s desires as often as we can without sacrificing our own desires or self-care.  If one person is constantly expressing desires and the other is repeatedly saying no, the contract expired and needs to be updated or torn up. Internally, I clarify whether my intention is love or to quell a fear inside me.

3. I create space for the other person to express his or her needs and check my ego at the door while I listen.

4. The sacred contract is about love, not the ego. And if the loving thing to do is to adjust my behaviors without adjusting my values, I’m in. If the loving thing to do is to terminate the contract, I do so knowing that I learned everything I was meant to from the partnership.

5. I keep showing up. I keep doing the work. I honor my needs, maintain my boundaries, and remember that no one has the ability to read my mind.

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

-Epicurus

The Takeaway

This process has allowed and continues to allow me to be even more discerning with the people I choose to surround myself with. I, like you, deserve to be able to freely express what I want and need even when it leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed.

And, the reverse is true. This process allows those who are in my life to feel that they, too, can be vulnerable without the fear that I will not meet their needs. This is where an evolved relationship begins. 

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”

-Barbara de Angelis

Download Amita’s Free Worksheet “The 7 Skills To Improve Any Relationship” here.

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These days, there’s no shortage of web resources to choose from. And although options are wonderful, they can also be the bane of our existence. Too many options have often been the primary cause for a total lack of productivity.

For example: let’s say you want to learn how to make a good martini. You google search: “how to make the perfect martini”. Boom. You get back enough how-to articles on martini-making to make your head spin. You click one of the results…. It’s not bad. But maybe there’s something better. You go back to your Google search results and click another one, opening another tab in your browser. This one’s okay. But not as good as the last. Then you go back and look for another article.

You repeat the same cycle again. And again.. and again. Until next thing you know — you’ve got so many open tabs on your browser window that you’ve forgotten what you were trying to do in the first place!

How’d you go from searching for the perfect martini recipe, to watching a Justin Bieber video on YouTube?

This, my friend, is the double-edge sword of the world wide web and the many resources that it offers us to make use of… and if we waste too much time using the wrong ones (i.e. Justin Bieber videos on YouTube), then we end up sabotaging our own productivity as a result.

So without further ado, I present to you the 19 best web resources to enhance productivity. Save the martinis for after you’re done reading this article.

1. Evernote

This is the juggernaut of web resources to help with productivity. Personally, it’s my primary way of staying on track with my daily projects and tasks. Super charge this resource by integrating it with the Getting Things Done productivity methodology and you’ll be setting yourself up for success for a very long time.

2. Spreeder

Learning to speed read can be massively helpful when you’re trying to plow through piles of documents and books in search of a vital piece of information. Luckily, there’s an app for that, and it’s called Spreeder.

3. Wunderlist

Wunderlist is the bucket-list-building app you’ve always wished for. Fast. Intuitive. Shareable. Whether you’re creating a “someday/maybe” list or pounding away at a project filled with tasks you need to accomplish, you just can’t go wrong with Wunderlist.

4. Coffitivity

Researchers tell us that people work better when there’s white noise in the background. That’s where an app like Coffitivity comes in handy by generating the buzziness of a cafe’ in the background while you’re working.

5. Tomato Timer

Tomato Timer is based on the Pomodoro technique, which is an incredibly popular productivity method that requires you to incorporate specific periods of rest and renewal into your workday by breaking it up into 25-minute chunks of productive time. After the 25-minute chunk of time is up, you get a short break before repeating the same cycle over again.

The Tomato Timer will alert you when the 25 minutes is up so you can get up and take a quick moment to recharge your batteries before getting back to work again. The fact that you know you’ll be able to take a break when the timer goes off will help you beat procrastination once and for all.

6. FlashBooks

Too busy to read that pile of books on the bedside table? Start using FlashBooks and you’ll be done reading them, all in under 20 minutes flat. The fact that you can read the best self-help and business books in mere minutes makes this a productivity resource that you should never leave home without.

And since their summaries come formatted for every device, you’ll never have to.

7. Do Nothing For 2 Minutes

If there’s one thing modern professionals don’t get enough of, it’s short periods of rest. You work hard. Bless yourself with 120 seconds of peace via this simple but powerful productivity resource. You’ll feel better for having done it.

8. Doodle

Never go back and forth about when to schedule a meeting, and forget about wasting time email-polling your friends about whether they can make it to your birthday party on this or that date.

Instead, use Doodle to identify a few potential windows of time that work best for you, and ask everyone else to fill in what works for them within those windows. Doodle makes scheduling things easy.

9. Feedly

Organize everything you love — from blogs, to news, to websites and more — all in one place that you can go back to whenever you want, via Feedly.

10. Podcasts

Listening to a podcast can be a vital productivity resource if you’re doing it with a purpose. Want to learn how to quit smoking or how to be more confident? Listen to a self-improvement podcast on iTunes.

Want the big ideas from that business book your co-worker told you about? Listen to a non-fiction literature podcast. Take advantage of podcasts. They’re free, fun, and can teach you tons of productivity hacks within a very short period of time.

11. FocusWriter

A simple tool that provides a clean on-screen writing environment for the essentialist. FocusWriter comes complete with other small but useful resources to enhance productivity, like timers, alarms, spell checking and goal-setting functionality.

12. Hootsuite

Automate all of your social media, rather than dividing your attention, when you could be productively getting things done instead. Let’s say you’ve just written a great blog post and you really want to capitalize on the power of social media to spread that blog post as far as possible. Rather than sharing and tweeting about it on all of your social media platforms all at once, you can use Hootsuite to pre-populate exactly when – and how often – you want your blog post to be spread around on each of your individual social media accounts.

If the best time to self-promote on Facebook is on Tuesday mornings between 8 and 9 am, then set up your messaging with Hootsuite to ensure it goes out on that specific day. Rinse and repeat for your other platforms.

13. IFTTT

The acronym stands for “If this, then that”, and it’s an app that allows you to create little chains of productivity using simple “recipes”. The “recipes” act as Triggers and Actions to prompt you to stay productive.

For example, you can make a recipe that automatically turns every email you start in your Gmail into a reminder in your iOS Reminders app. Pretty cool, eh?

14. Lift

Get push notifications to remind you to stay on track with your health and fitness goals. Prompt yourself to “drink more water” at various times throughout the day. Remind yourself to stick with your gym habit every morning.

Use Lift as you constant companion to help you harness the power of habit when you need it most.

15. Productivity Owl

Productivity Owl is a Google Chrome extension that keeps you on track by letting you know when you’re not being as productive as you should be. The productivity owl literally gets in your face, too. Every time you’re browsing pages that you know you shouldn’t be, the little Productivity Owl swoops down from the corner of your screen to let you know that it’s time to stop checking Facebook so you can finish up that presentation that’s due tomorrow.

16. SelfControl

What if you could block yourself from succumbing to the luring urge’s to constantly check your social media apps like Facebook,Twitter and YouTube? Well, now you can. SelfControl’s application lets you block your own access to distracting websites, your mail servers and pretty much anything else on the web.

Just preset a period of time to block for, add sites to your blacklist and click “Start.” Until that timer expires, you won’t be able to access those sites – even if you restart your computer or delete the application.

17. Audible

Every book you read is a deliberate investment in your personal development. But what if you’re not a big fan of reading or don’t have the time to? Don’t fret. You can listen to audiobooks instead.

With Audible, you can listen to books while you run, walk, or drive to work in the morning. Easy peasy.

18. Unroll.Me

See your favorite newsletter subscriptions “at-a-glance”, rather than in an endless stream of spam-like emails that never seem to end.

19. Sleepy Ti.me

Last but not least, we have the Sleepy Time app. Because there’s absolutely no productivity hack, trick, or tool that’ll ever replace your body’s need for sleep. Sleepy Time is a bedtime calculator that’s meant to help you maintain a steady snoozing schedule.

Clock in when you want to sleep, and let it calculate how many Z’s you need to catch for your body to perform at peak levels of productivity throughout the day.

Time to get productive

So there you have it – 19 of the best productivity web resources available today. But beware of awesome-app overload. These resources are only as powerful as you allow them to be.

So print this list out or save it somewhere you know you’ll come back to, so that you can try a couple at a time until you figure out your favorite from the bunch. Stay productive.

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There were mirrors in the house but I did not look into them. I did not want to see that version of myself looking back at me.

But in the cold light of day, in the shopping mall mirrors, I couldn’t miss my reflection staring back.

Who was that sad, lonely, young woman with eyes like a dead, black river?

That was me many years ago, a young mother isolated in suburbia with two young children and only a house for company. No job or future prospects. And a husband who clearly had no understanding about my suffering.

Was it any wonder that I was depressed?

Depression is an unconscious cry for help.

To ignore the cry is to push down the pain into your soul so it can lurk there ready to pop back up when you least expect it.

Do you feel that somewhere there is a vital part of you that wants to live again, that wants to recover?

Or maybe you are just waiting for your

depression to lift and go away as it has before?

Depression is caused by unfinished psychological business.

And it is only until you deal with this business that you can ditch depression and get your life back.

Your depressed human psyche cannot see a future.  You have no hope. You feel helpless. You have no personal power. You may be contemplating suicide.

But there is a way forward without having to end your life.

 When you are suffering from depression nothing is as it seems. Yesterday you were feeling ok, not great but ok, and today the whole world is against you.

Everything is dark and bad. Your perception has changed over night but that is all that has changed. Everything and everyone else around you is just the same.

No matter what your depressed psyche believes, know that it is not real.

 

 Understanding your depression.

 1) Your depression is unique to you.

2) Depression has many causes.

3) Underlying emotions of depression are complex, powerful, primal and elusive.

4) There is no quick fix for depression.

5) All emotions are parts of a jigsaw puzzle of depression.

6) Each piece of the puzzle needs to be located and released before healing can begin.

7) Healing depression is hard emotional work and piecing together your past emotional experiences can be confronting.

8)  Releasing painful feelings is a step towards unlearning and releasing the past to make way for renewal.

  

8 Ways to deal with the black dog.

1) Find a capable psychotherapist to help you piece together your puzzle of depression.

2) Therapy is team work. In between sessions try to become more aware of what is happening in your psyche.

3) Keep a diary to record your thoughts, feelings and dreams, which will be preparation for your next session.

4) Exercise daily, a short brisk walk or jog.

5) Practice meditation or deep breathing to release stress.

6) Treat yourself to a weekly massage.

7) Buy a dog or a cat but only if you like animals and are prepared to put the time in to look after it. You could borrow a dog to walk.

8)   Consider therapy as an investment in yourself and your future happiness.

 

 The black dog is a rare visitor to me now. But if I should face him on a lonely road, I cross over on the other side. 

———–

Carole Lyden is a writer and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in depression therapy at Teddy Bear Therapy Centre in Perth Western Australia. She is passionate about the power of psychotherapy and its ability to change lives.

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