“God gave us two ends: One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use. Heads you win, tails, you lose.” – Anonymous

Let me guess.

You’re in the midst of chasing your desires. You’re unsure of what exactly you’re chasing, but you’re after dreams larger than yourself.

Greatness awaits you, and you know it. You’re a diamond in the rough waiting to be uncovered from the final layers of soil.

But you’re unsure of how to escape the darkness of the dirt and breach into the light.

You come to the internet seeking advice and inspiration on turning your dreams into reality.

The problem is, most of the advice you find isn’t very good.

The information you get is boring, mundane and obvious. It’s been regurgitated from one article to the next. You’ve heard it all before.

You spend hours clicking through websites looking for someone else to solve your problems, only to walk away feeling disappointed and helpless.

But in reality, it’s your fault. It’s not up to the internet or writers to solve your problems.

It’s up to you.

You expect to find the perfect advice tailored for your situation and then you’ll have the confidence and motivation to do what you need to do.

It’s never gonna happen.

It’s not up to anyone else to motivate you or make your dreams come true.

Once you accept that you can focus on turning those dreams into reality.

The False Victory Of Inspiration

Now that it’s out of our system, I’ll admit I was that guy googling how to be successful or how to be a writer expecting to find motivation and a step by step guide to perfection.

Eventually I’d find an article that gave me instant gratification and inspiration. But I never did anything afterwards. The immediate satisfaction drove me to a screeching halt.

Humans are emotionally wired. When we experience another person doing something mirror neurons fire in our brain, giving us the feeling of action when really we’re only observing.

It’s why we become so invested in movies and sports, our brains place us into the moment. We experience the sensation without any action.

So when I read about someone else’s success my brain ignited a feeling of achievement. Which ultimately led to doing nothing.

Only when I stopped looking for inspiration from others and began looking inward could I truly identify what success meant in my life.

The battle of success comes down to three things: Defining what success means to you, learning from the best and working towards your goal every single day.

These are non-negotiable. Neglect one and you’ll be forever stranded from reaching your max potential.

1. Define Success

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up some place else.” – Yogi Berra

Modern society has accustomed us to a one size fits all view of success that everyone should desire.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Having lots of money doesn’t mean you’re successful, true success is about doing what you love and loving what you do.

If you’re rich but miserable, own a business but are unhappy and out of shape, you’re not successful.

You don’t have to know how you’ll get there, but before beginning the journey of success you must gather a picture perfect image of where the trail will lead you.

2. Study The Experts

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” – Albert Einstein

The difference between seeking inspiration and studying the experts is you’re not looking for gratification but rather implementing a strategy from those who’ve already accomplished what you desire.

If you’re a writer, learn from people like Stephen King, Jon Morrow and Jeff Goins – Some of the very best at what they do.

Instead of searching what you need to do look for those telling what they did.

Any expert in any field reached their level of success because they followed a system that works. They didn’t waste their time with wannabes and posers, they learned from the best who came before them.

If you want to be the best, you have to learn from the best.

3. No Days Off

“Seventy percent of success is just showing up.” – Woody Allen

Defining what you want is great. Studying the experts allows you to live through their success for the time being, but when it comes to actually doing the work most will saddle up and run back to their safe and boring lives.

The true test to knowing how bad you want what you say you do is how you respond to the following question:

Are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices in your life to make room for doing what matters most?

Not just today and tomorrow, but each and every day from here out.

If you answered anything but yes, stop here, continue with your life as is and never look back. If you’re one of the few who said yes, keep reading.

In the beginning you can’t afford to waste a single moment towards your goals, let alone 24 hours.

Since I started writing I’ve set a requirement to write 1,000 words a day, everyday. No matter what. As long as I can move my hands I can write on my death bed.

Whatever you desire, you must dedicate yourself to doing it everyday.

You won’t be very good at the start, but that’s not the point. Creating a daily habit allows yourself the opportunity to get good.

The difference between the runners who cross the finish line and the spectators cheering them on is the months of training put in before the race.

Your Greatest Success Awaits

“Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda

In the end, it comes down to doing the best you can with what you have.

We’re bombarded with so much information you’ll forget most of what you read moments after you finish. Life long inspiration only exists from within.

The way I see it, after you finish this you have two options.

You can keep surfing the web, desperately searching for inspiration while you continue to put your life on hold. Or, you can get to work.

True success isn’t about making a lot of money or having a big house with fancy cars.

It’s about doing what sets your soul on fire, and doing it every single day.

So that when you reach the end of your life you can look back and say nothing ever stopped you from doing what you love most.

One Last Thing

After defining success, studying the best and showing up everyday, the rest is easy.

Nothing I or anyone else says can give you more influential motivation than you can give yourself.

The power is in your hands.

Maybe this all seems like a lot of pressure.

But it’s the same pressure of nature that takes ordinary chunks of coal and transforms them into beautiful diamonds.

George Mortimer packed his van and drove cross country in pursuit of freedom. His goal is to inspire people like you to live life on their own terms. You can start now by downloading his Free Ebook: 5 Steps To Freedom – The Quick & Simple Guide To Creating A Life You Love

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Are you sad to hear people you care about calling you “a Stoic”? It might be time for you to refine your philosophy and show them how much the Stoic you are, love them and care for them.

Among the different schools of philosophy, Stoicism is one of the least understood. Yet, Stoics were among the most rationale and practical people of their time and we still have a lot to learn from them. Sadly, nowadays, the word “stoic” is generally used in a somewhat negative way describing someone who refuses to complain or show his feelings. Stoics certainly advocated a rather ascetic way of life but is it what Stoicism is solely about?

In this article, I would like to share with you, three Stoic principles that you can apply in your daily life in order to live, not a “stoic” and somewhat boring life, but a joyful life.

Stoics appreciate what they have and refuse to take anything for granted

One of the greatest sources of our unhappiness is our inability to be grateful for what we have. Stoics perfectly understood that and tricked their mind to fight against that natural tendency. One of the methods they used is negative visualization. They didn’t focus on what they wanted to have trying to visualize it to make it more real, instead they focused on the things they had and valued the most and imagined losing them.

Try to imagine right now how you would feel if your children, your partner or your parents just died today. What do you wish you had done for them today? Did you really show them appreciation and tell them how much you love them today?

Epictetus recommends that whenever we kiss our child, we silently remind ourselves that he/she might die tomorrow, or that whenever we part with a friend, we tell ourselves that it might be the last time we see him or her.

If you can fully appreciate everything you have right now in your life by reflecting on a regular basis on the possibility to lose them, then the loss of a loved one or of anything else you value will be less painful as you will have little regrets.

Are you fully appreciating everything you have in your life right now?

Stoics use self-deprecating humor to protect themselves

How do you react when people insult you or make fun of you? How do you think a Stoic in Ancient Greek would have react? One way he would have reacted is by laughing at himself.

Laughing off an insult is one of the most powerful ways to react to it. By doing so, you show to the insulter that you don’t take him seriously; you don’t give him any power.

I personally love this technique and like to use it whenever necessary. If you are able to make fun of yourself more than your insulter, you will never be troubled again and your offender will feel powerless.

What about you? Can you make fun of yourself? If not, what is holding you back?

Stoics focus on what they can change

Stoics refused to waste time thinking about things over which they had no control at all. They thought our time and energy ought to be spent only on things over which we did have control. For that reason, they advocated for a total acceptance of the past and the present, as it is useless to dwell on a past that cannot be changed or to refuse to embrace a present that is happening right now in front of us. They would forbid you to use sentences like “if only I had done this or that then…” or “I wish I told him how much I loved him before he suddenly died in this car accident”.

They carefully separated things over which they had control from things over which they had no control. For instance, we have complete control over our attitude and our values. We also have control over the goals we set for ourselves. However, we have no control over most of the things that happen in the external world.

Epictetus said we should set goals that are easy to achieve or even certain to be achieved and over which we have control. When setting goals a Stoic would likely focus on the process rather than on the outcome. From a Stoic point of view, it makes more sense to focus on doing the best you can at whatever you do, than on trying to be promoted, win the game or become a millionaire, as you have no guarantee you will achieve these goals.

Are you focusing mainly on the outcome or are you focus more on enjoying the process and doing the best you can to achieve your goals?

Among these three Stoic principles, which one are you going to start using in your life from today?

Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to durably transform both his life and the lives of others. He just released a free e-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development”. Visit his website to discover the 5 principles you must master in order to live a full life.

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Recently I went on an impromptu trip to Korea.

It was a rather difficult time for me as I just got out of a long-term relationship. I needed something to clear my head and thus I bought the ticket on impulse to join my friend over there.

The seven days in Korea was both awesome and mind-opening.

This isn’t an article where I talk about travelling the world and how I “found myself.” It was only a single trip and the brunt of it consisted of eating, drinking, partying and meeting girls.

You’ll be surprised how powerful a single trip, even to a safe place can be.

1) You don’t have to dwell on yourself

I landed in Korea at nearly midnight local time. I was a little panicky as I thought I’d miss the last train. I had to make a mad rush, but I made it on time.

One afternoon, me and my friend wanted to walk the trail of a mountain. We somehow accidentally took the intermediate trail and found ourselves on all fours trying to climb up. It was a really crazy experience as one mistake could mean death. We made a turn around after a bit.

Here’s the thing: All these scary and uncomfortable moments were perfectly distracting me from all my problems. And personally, getting a little afraid and uncomfortable means you’re not feeling downright shitty, angry or depressed.

Do you see how getting distracted effectively makes you not dwell on yourself? Do you see how that, for a moment, your problems don’t exist?

Be it through distractions or conscious, positive thinking, the choice is ultimately yours. You really don’t have to dwell on yourself and your problems.

If you focus outwards, life instantly gets better.

2) There’re people out there who’re very grateful for you

One night, my friend and I joined his friends, two local guys for dinner. They took us around after that too.

One of them could not speak English well at all. At the end of the trip, he gave my friend a handwritten letter. With the help of Google Translator, he wrote out in English how he was sorry his English was bad and that he could not communicate well. He also mentioned he was very happy to see him.

Maybe we were just a couple of tourists and they wanted to show us a good time, but one thing for sure, we don’t get gestures like that at home at all.

Travel to new places. Meet new people. The sheer happiness, compassion and kindness from them will give you a new perspective of life.

All you have to do is to open up a little.

3) Absorbing new cultures makes you realize your home doesn’t make up your world

One thing I observed in Korea is that people generally don’t excuse themselves when walking past you. They simply push their way through. Nobody really cared or was affected.

If I did that at home, I’d get the ugliest stares and probably even a scolding.

This is where you make the difference for yourself. You can either get mad if somebody was rude to you (because of your “values” or whatever), or you can realize the exact same thing will not the least bit affect somebody else in another part of the world.

And the question is: If they can do it, why can’t you?

You’re both only human, right?

Absorbing different cultures opens up your mind on new levels altogether. You’ll realize you get to be as happy as others.

4) You’ll be thankful for what you have at home

Honestly, unless you really hate your life and where you’re from, you’ll be quick to miss your life back home.

This is where you miss your family, friends and the comfort (comfort is not always a bad thing, you know?)

You gain that epiphany when you’re faraway, alone and uncomfortable.

And sometimes that is what it truly takes to ensure you don’t ever take your life and those around you for granted. This is how you realize how happy you already are. You just need to get rid of all the bullshit in your life.

5) Sometimes, you’ve to drop everything and get away from it all just so you can move on

If I wanted to get over my breakup the conventional way, I guess I’d talk to my friends or read up articles and stuff.

If I also wanted to gain more inspiration from my writing, I’d probably read more how-to articles across the web.

But as with most things in life, it’s always never that straight forward or easy.

Sometimes, the traditional answers aren’t the answers at all.

Sometimes, you just need a damn break. You just have to drop everything and get away from it all.

And that is all I can say, for the experience, memories and every feeling you attain while being abroad, albeit only for a single trip all combine to encapsulate a new feeling and outlook for you.

That is the answer for more happiness.

You don’t have to be a digital nomad, mobile writer, hippy, archaeologist or whatever.

Just get out there for once already. Anywhere.

Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Wanna find more ways to be happy?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

 

 

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A few weeks ago something extraordinary happened to me! For the first time after several years working in a big corporation I felt the presence of a real leader, not just another manager.

During months we were facing a real challenge at work and the team’s frustration was quite high. This person was capable of creating an amazing reaction in the people present in the room, giving us a really powerful and motivational speech.

Half an hour later everybody left the room looking to each other and saying: “Yes, let’s do that right now, let’s go for it”. Impressive.

To give you an idea of what I am talking about watch this video.

The experience shows that transformational leaders are really rare, and usually businesses are run by what we define as managers: people with a list of objectives to accomplish, really skilled at defining, giving and following actions, making pressure to make sure that these are done.

In many cases, businesses can be driven by managers, but what really makes the different are leaders, those people capable of inspiring others and make people follow them, even in very adverse situations.

Impressed by this high motivational moment, my curiosity about leadership styles increased. And I found out a great subject called transformational leadership.

The following list describes the four common behaviors of transformational leaders.

1.  Individual influence.

Transformational leaders are capable of transmitting a message to each individual person in their team. They spread enthusiasm and integrity, acting as a role model. They have one or more characteristics which make them really authentic, without caring about what others think about them. They are really good at setting real life examples which make people identify with them.

This behavior can be summarized with the word “Identify”.

2. Inspiration.

These leaders are capable of leveraging the meaning of goals and tasks. They inspire emotionally, touching the deepest inside of the people in their team. They give the meaning of achieving goals, explaining the personal reasons to achieve them, not just because it is required by the organization (as it would be presented by a manager). They are capable of communicating an attractive vision, a dream: “by scoring those points you will enter in the list of the world’s most recognized football players…” And really important: they appreciate the job done by their people.

This is the second I: “Inspire”.

3. Intellectual stimulation.

In other words: capacity to challenge their people. They question old ways of doing things, imparting new perspectives. They are auto critic, making their followers understand that they are all at the same level and transmitting that success depends on each and every individual. They adequate complexity, telling their people that only the best can achieve the goal, and this accomplishment depends only on them. They challenge the status-quo.

This behavior is summarized with: “Intellectual”.

   4. Individual treatment.

Contrary to what managers usually do, transformational leaders develop each employee individually, with full credibility. They understand their employees’ needs and they truly care about them. They give to their followers the importance that they deserve. They don’t just save time to talk to the individual when required by the business, but also when the employee has a personal topic to discuss. They enter into real valuable dialogues, not just light talking, contributing to develop a strong relationship between leader and follower.

This is the fourth and last I: “Individual”.

The transformational leadership takes place when all the four I’s appear at the same time.

Now that you know this leadership style, are you one of these leaders?

 

Fernando Vilas is founder and CEO of Quisapit, an online website which mission is to put in contact motivated students with the best teachers around the world, in many different subjects. Get another great content from Quisapit.

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Growing up as a child, I can remember every thing and every one around me reminding me that reading was not something to be done for fun — but rather — reading was instead something that “must” be done… not because it’s something that I want to do, or something that I choose to do, but rather because it’s something that I have to do.

And I believe that’s an absolute shame.

Because reading is fun. Reading is powerful. And reading has served me so well that I’d say it contributes to the majority of the successes I’ve experienced in my life — both personally and professionally. The rest of it comes from taking consistent and deliberate action on the things I’ve picked up from the books I read.

Today, I’m going to present 10 mind-expanding books to read in a life-time — but bear in mind: I’m not saying you should take a life-time to read them. The more of them you read, the more of the benefits you’ll gain from the books, and thus, the more of the mind-expanding ideas you’ll be able to degenerate and apply directly to your life.

#1. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

This is a book about success… and how there’s a lot more to it than being smart and working hard. Maybe you’ve heard of Gladwell’s famous 10,000 hour rule and how it relates to success – but even then – there’s still so much more to learn about how successful people became so successful in the first place. Outliers is a must-read title if you’re looking to expand your mind about the subtleties and nuances that contributed to the success of icons like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. 

#2. Cosmos by Carl Sagan

This is one of those books that you read, and then just sit there and think. Cosmos is one of the most mind expanding books on this list because it implores you to think about our place in the universe, and the fact that even though we’ve come so far as a species, we’ve still got so much more to learn about ourselves and our future.

#3. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

This book was written over 1800 years ago, and guess what?–The powerful principles written way back then remain just as applicable today, as they did back in the 2nd century. Just read this quote and you’ll understand what I mean: “For how could we do what justice requires if we are distracted by things that don’t matter, if we are naive, gullible, inconstant?” He’s got to be referring to our texting and driving problem, right?

#4. The China Study by Thomas Campbell

If you’re interested in learning about the single most comprehensive book about nutrition conducted to date, then this is the book you need to read. The research behind this book, and it’s health and weight-loss implications will do more than expand your mind, it’ll downright surprise you (and maybe even scare you) into embracing a healthier way of life.

#5. How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This is the original book on emotional intelligence. Way before social scientists had the case studies to back up the efficacy of human relations and it’s impact the way we live and the way we work, Dale Carnegie had tried and tested his methods of positive influence enough times to know their effectiveness. Over 100 million copies later, the methods have proven themselves by withstanding the test of time.

#6. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

You know that feeling you get when you’re doing what you love — and it’s almost as if time just came to halt? As if five hours felt like five minutes? As if everything you were doing just felt right? As if you were doing what you might be meant to do? That’s called a “flow” state. And if you’re looking to get more of it in your life, then you should get this book right about now.

#7. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

You’ve surely heard of this classic… but what makes it so mind expanding? The fact that it’s based on principles. And principles don’t change. They’re time-less. Each of the habits laid out in this book are designed to act as individual prescriptions for effectiveness in all four dimensions of human nature: physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.

#8. Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Are you interested in getting ahead and getting the edge in life — without having to sacrifice your integrity to do it? If yes, then this is your book. Never Eat Alone is a classic book on connecting with others, and must-read for anyone living in the current connection economy.

#9. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

The interesting thing about habits, is that once we develop them, they go about totally un-noticed in our day-to-day activities. For example: you probably don’t think about how many simultaneous actions go into reversing your car out of the garage and into the street safely and smoothly… you just do it. That’s a habit. But so is smoking. The Power of Habit teaches you how to be deliberate about building better habits that serve you both in life and in business.

#10. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This book will do more than expand your mind, it’ll down right transform your life… but only if you let it. Learn about the power and wisdom that comes about by listening to your heart, recognizing opportunity, and follow your dreams in this metaphor-laden masterpiece by Paulo Coelho.

Which book will you read first?

Now that you’ve got this list of 10 mind expanding books to read in a lifetime — there’s only one question left… Which one do you read first? Should you go out and get all of them immediately? Should you read them all at once? Or should you take a lifetime to read them? So many options. So little time. Ultimately, it’s totally your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career. But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started:

• Subscribe to a book summary site, like FlashBooks to get the key-takeaways from the books on this list.
• If you’d prefer to read an entire book, I would highly suggest that you read just ONE book at a time. Sometimes, when we see something new and exciting, we have tendency to want to do/learn/read it all at once… and as we all know, this is nearly impossible to do without stressing ourselves out. So, choose a book. And then commit to reading it from start to finish.
• If you’re in a rush, try Audio books, or Audio summaries.
• Finally, if you’re in a super rush, checkout some YouTube video book summaries, like this one.

Dean Bokhari is best-selling author and host of Meaningful*FM (MeaningfulHQ.com),one of the web’s most popular personal development podcasts.

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