You’re reading This Is How Childhood Bullying Affects Your Adult Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Bullying is a serious problem and it’s effects are going to be seen in a couple of decades, as today’s kids will grow into adults, bearing the scars. There are people who still try to find excuses for this behavior, saying that kids will be kids and so on, but the reality is childhood bullying does leave a mark on the adult to be, which is not a pretty picture.

From cyberbullying to gang stalking, there are many forms of bullying out there and all of them have consequences for the traumatized child. Parents can try to protect their kids from this phenomenon, as you can yet they can prevent bullying completely .

If we look at the numbers, we can see that bullying is more frequent than one would think: up to 28% of all US students were bullyed in school. The victims are usually told to toughen up and get over it, but bullying does leave a mark on the future adult, being more than a funny rite of passage.

Victims of bullying are prone to developing both anxiety and depression.

A study conducted in 2013 proved something already suspected by all the bullyed people: the phenomenon increases your risk of developing depression and anxiety. Victims of bullying are at high risk of developing mental disorders as adults, while the bullies are at high risk of developing antisocial personality disorders.

The  victim can suffer from toxic stress

Harvard University researches showed that bullying is one of the causes of toxic stress in kids. Other causes are violence, poverty and a parent’s mental illness, which shows just how severe bullying can be. Toxic stress has a huge negative impact on the child and when it’s not addressed properly, it can leave a mark on the future adult, such as high risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes and developmental delays.

Bullying changes the brain’s structure

Bullying has clear physical effects on a teen’s brain structure, according to a study conducted at the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and the University of Southern California.

In boys, the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that deals with fear and anxiety, becomes enlarged in victims of bullying. Girls, on the other hand, experience a thinning of the temporal and prefrontal cortexes, which control the social behavior and emotional reactions.

Both of these changes are linked to anxiety in adults and dangerous behavior.

Victims of bullying are more likely to smoke

If you are a smoker, your behavior could be traced back to childhood bullying, according to a study from King’s College London. The same study found that former victims of bullying experienced lower levels of satisfaction, had higher risk of dropping out of college and they are socially isolated.

Bullying can alter your DNA

When you are stressed, the body releases cortisol in the bloodstream, which is one of the stress hormones that triggers the stress reactions of the body. Bullying makes your body produce less and less cortisol, leading to a change in the genes that control the serotonin (happiness hormone) production. In other words, bullying makes your brain prone to depression.

All in one, bullying is not a child’s game, as it can lead to severe consequences for the future adult.

You’ve read This Is How Childhood Bullying Affects Your Adult Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How To Deal With Rejection, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I was just denied entry into another much anticipated exhibit – very last minute, completely unexpected. I spent all this time advertising it through various media, as well as with my friends and current clients. Now that it isn’t happening, I was at a complete loss as to how to proceed. Rejection is terrible. So I rushed to the studio to medicate myself, to pour my negative energy into a piece that has long held my thoughts. Here’s what went through my head as I was processing the very last stages of its completion. Here’s how the process helped me heal.

It’s a stage when topography no longer matters. It’s when I can simply revel in the color relationships, in contrast building, in texture nuances. I want to soar, to be free as a bird, to feel like a teenager overseas discovering new worlds. I want absolute freedom. But there’s always something holding me back, something gravitational that does not let this ecstasy to fully play out. I need an anchor, a reference to reality, a thread to hold onto. It’s an ultimate struggle. Part of me wants to violently slash the canvas with my palette knife, create energy and raw emotion. Another part really wants to look back on the watercolor sketch and keep referencing it, keep to a plan.

Maybe I’ll always be stuck in this paradox. How do I stay true to myself, yet operate fully in this world? Perhaps it’s what my work is about – the push and pull of a struggle between an inner reality vs the outside world? It could be that it’ll never turn abstract because that is just not me. It’ll always hover over a precipice of a gorgeous cliff. This might not get me anywhere, but you can’t jump over your head, can you?

Maybe people will at some point understand this struggle being depicted in my work. Perhaps they never will. But that’s not what it’s all about. It’s about me keeping up a good fight, navigating this course called life with the most dignity I can muster, keeping sane on my tightrope. To view some of my artwork and process videos, feel free to browse to http://ift.tt/2tbPsSp

You’ve read How To Deal With Rejection, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Simple Ways To Boost Your Confidence As A Writer, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s easy to feel disheartened as a writer. You compare yourself to other writers, and you feel as though you’re lacking, somehow. No matter what, though, you can be a great writer. Here are some tips to help you boost your confidence in what you do.

Stop the self-sabotage

“The reason 99% of all stories written are not bought by editors is very simple. Editors never buy manuscripts that are left on the closet shelf at home.”– John Campbell

Everyone’s done it. They put writing off, or send off work that they know is subpar. When they don’t get the work done, or they get rejected, they say ‘it’s because I’m not good enough.’ In fact, you are good enough, you just need to put the effort in. Put in the hours and only publish your best work.

Analyze your writing activities

“To be a writer is to sit down at one’s desk in the chill portion of every day, and to write; not waiting for the little jet of the blue flame of genius to start from the breastbone – just plain going at it, in pain and delight.“– John Hersey

If you feel as though you’re not getting anywhere with your writing, you may need to examine how you’re writing. Track how much time you spend writing, what’s happening around you as you write, and how much you get written. You may find that your environment is affecting your writing, or that you’re writing at the wrong time of day. If you go ahead with this, try Easy Word Count as a good way of tracking your output.

Ignore your inner critic

“I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.”– Gustave Flaubert

Everyone has a critic that lives in their head, telling them that their writing just isn’t good enough. When you listen to that voice, it sap your confidence and energy. How can you get any writing done when you’re listening to it? When it starts up, try telling it ‘This may not be the best thing I’ve ever written, but I made it and that’s good enough.’ Soon enough, you’ll find it’s much easier to ignore that negative voice.

Use rejection as a stepping stone to better writing

“Engrave this in your brain: Every writer gets rejected. You will be no different.”– John Scalzi

Getting a rejection letter is a real blow to your confidence as a writer. However, you can turn it around and use it to increase the quality of your work. For example, if you’ve been rejected for typos or other errors, use it as a chance to tighten up your proofreading skills. If you need some help, try getting in touch with the time-savers, for example, UK Writings  proofreaders.

Try something new

“You know how creative people are, we have to try everything until we find our niche.” – E.A. Bucchianeri

If you’re stuck in a rut, it’s easy to think that you’re never going to make it as a writer. In fact, all you need to do is try something different. If you normally write prose, try your hand at poetry. If you normally blog, try writing a longer form piece. Whatever you do, switch it up. You may discover a talent you never knew you had.

Ensure none of your work is plagiarized

“When you take stuff from one writer, it’s plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it’s research.”– William Mizner

Obviously, you’re never going to take someone else’s work and pass it off as your own, but you may be heavily inspired by someone’s writing. A lot of time, plagiarism charges are laid at writers who didn’t even know they’d done it. To remove the threat of this happening, run your writing through plagiarism detectors such as the ones at Plagium or Academized.

Don’t compare yourself to others

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”– Robert Benchley

Finally, don’t worry about what other people are doing. It’s hard, as you have to read to be a good writer. When you’re reading, it’s easy to think ‘I’ll never be as good as they are’ or ‘I could never describe that in such a vivid way.’ When you do this, you’re doing down your own writing. Instead, recognise that every writer is different, and they’re all loved for different reasons.

You can make it as a writer, all it takes is a bit of confidence. Use these tips the next time you’re wobbling, and you’ll soon find reasons to love your work again.

You’ve read Simple Ways To Boost Your Confidence As A Writer, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 5 Things Your Therapist Would Love You to Do, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Congratulations! Chances are that if you are reading this, you have decided that your mental health is very important to you, and you have finally made the choice to see a therapist. So, you are on the right track!

However, a lot of people feel overwhelmed at the idea of therapy, not exactly knowing what to do to move their treatment in the right direction. Thankfully, your therapist is a trained professional who will set forth a plan to discover the root of your depression, fight the feelings of anxiety or help you to achieve that full eight hours of sleep that you long for.

But are there ways that you can also work right along with your therapist, reaching those goals even faster? Let’s take a look at six things that your therapist would LOVE for to do!

• Start By Strengthening Your Relationships

Most people find that they are emotionally stronger when they are surrounded by healthy, supportive relationships. Whether these be romantic engagements or parent-child roles, many seem to function emotionally on a more positive level when they are in a “good place” with the people that they care the most about. Sometimes a negative relationship may be discovered as the root of many feelings of depression or anxiety, so just as you work towards holding onto the rewarding relationships in your life, never hesitate to also let go of those that appear to be detrimental to your well-being. There are plenty of articles and books available to help you achieve freedom from toxic relationships.

• Keep Up With Your Physical Health

Now, you may have heard the saying that “help starts on the inside”, and this may typically be the case. However, when you are putting the work in to heal your mind and to focus on your emotions, you can’t neglect to also remember your physical health. Maybe you find that going for a run can clear your mind and help you forget a bad day at work. That isn’t just coincidence. If you feel good about the choices that you are making in your diet and your fitness regimen, your mind will also react with positive outcomes as well. If you aren’t really into hitting the gym, try something low-key, and find a yoga class in your area.

• Journal

Many therapists will suggest that you write in a journal, as that this will open your mind and provide an easy way to take note of how you’re feeling on any particular day. In fact, journaling has been used for centuries to promote self growth in all sorts of ways. You can stick to the paper-bound diary on the bedside table, or you can make use of one of the many smartphone apps for journaling. As you begin to explore your own feelings, you’ll soon see patterns in your behavior, allowing you the opportunity to rethink some of your actions and reactions.

• Stay Engaged  

Now, probably one of the most helpful things that you can do for your therapist is to stay engaged. Sometimes a patient leaves the office and doesn’t give a second thought to their treatment until they back for the next appointment. But keeping in check with one’s emotions in between appointments can make all the difference. And technology is making it even easier, as many therapists utilize patient engagement solutions to keep their patients on track in between their appointments. Patients can even download an app to their smartphone or tablet, allowing them to take surveys and questionnaires to help with their treatment. How fantastic is that?    

• Reach Out for Help

Most importantly, your therapist will love you if you keep the the lines of communication open. Reaching out for help is an integral part of growth, and you have already made the first initial step by starting your treatment. However, continuing to be open with your emotions and alerting your therapist when you are feeling overwhelmed can be the catalyst for a positive outcome in your treatment.

As you continue your therapy, you will find that the more effort you put into your treatment, the more you will take away. Whether you are dealing with emotions connected to anxiety, depression or a myriad of other disorders, following these tips may lead you one step closer to the well-being that can be achieved.

You’ve read 5 Things Your Therapist Would Love You to Do, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How To Live In This Moment, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Look around you. Do you see that? This is where you are right now. Look in the mirror. See that face? That’s you, my friend. So, this is what you’ve got – right here, right now – yourself and this very moment.

Don’t panic. You aren’t stuck here. You can still get to where you want to go in life – without waiting for the perfect time and without worrying about all the ‘what ifs.’ You just need to find the strength to do so. (Notice I said “find.” You have the strength, you just may not know where you put it.)

In the meantime, maybe these 4 tips will help…

1. Living in the moment does not mean you aren’t growing. With society always telling us we need to go further in our career or be something or someone better than who we are, we often spend our days dreaming of the future. If only I could… or If only I had… or If only ___ would… See, “if only” doesn’t help you move forward. In fact, it halts you in the moment and stunts your growth. After all, you cannot focus on the present if you are stuck trying to dream up a fictitious future. Be present, be in your moment, and absorb all that you can.
2. Mantras or personal affirmations work. Remember years ago, when it was rumored that records or cartoons had subliminal messages that made kids do crazy things? Why not create your own message to yourself? Find something positive that you can repeat to yourself several times a day. Make it something that will bring you back when your mind starts to wonder and something that can remind you to live in the moment. Then, tape it to your mirror, your steering wheel, or write it in permanent marker on your hand – wherever you will see it and remember to repeat it. Then believe it!
3. Slow down. You heard me. Apply the brakes and back away from the driver’s seat. The simple idea of slowing down is hard for those who cannot live in the present. Rushing from point A to point B, in and out of appointments and meetings, social engagement after social engagement, then home to cook, clean, do laundry… all on about 5 hours or less of sleep because, face it – you need more hours in a day! No, no, and NO! This is not the way to live life. If you want to find yourself happy and settled in the future, then you need to slow yourself down now.

• Take on less work.
• Prioritize social engagements – and then pick only one to attend.
• Spend at least five minutes with yourself each day (in solitude).
• Remind yourself what is important – and what can wait.
• Sleep at least eight hours every night.
• Force yourself to physically move slower.

4. Give attention to the insignificant things. Sometimes we overlook the trivial things in life that make our day. It is not that we are ungrateful, we just may not realize their importance. For instance – a toilet, coffee, transportation, a hot meal, your favorite song, etc. These are all things that make our life a little more enjoyable and without them, well, we maybe wouldn’t be so… pleasant.

Acknowledge these things by writing them down, physically seeing all the perks you have this very moment in life. Sure, it may not be that house on the beach you always dreamed of when you were younger – but you have a roof over your head which means you are one step further than a lot of people! Keeping a journal of these things can help you focus your attention on the present, as well as become more appreciative of where you are in your life’s journey.

If you keep traveling ahead in your current manner, you won’t even know that you reached your future once you reach it! Your eyes will be so focused on the next thing. Start now and learn to enjoy life in the moment – this moment.

____________

Michelle Blan is a freelance writer and avid blogger determined to motivate even those lost in their darkest moments. There is always a way out…I can show you. Check out my blog at www.shellblan.com or follow me on Twitter @ShellBlan

You’ve read How To Live In This Moment, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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