I will always be grateful for my mother, who raised my little brother and me without a man in the house, who taught us to value our education despite never finishing elementary school herself, and who never let being paralyzed stop her from caring for her two sons. My mother made living on food stamps and growing up in one of poorest and crime-ridden communities in Atlanta a bit more bearable.
Knowing the circumstances of my upbringing, no one would have predicted when I was born that, two months from now, I would be graduating from Yale with a 3.9 GPA with no debt.
My journey from living in poverty to graduating from Yale didn’t require me to be a genius or to have access to anything others didn’t. My journey began each morning by asking myself two questions anyone else could.
What Even Poverty Could Not Take Away from You
When I walked the halls of my high school, I saw pregnant girls barely 16 bragging about their delivery dates and young men bragging about how many classes they had skipped or the easy money they made the night before. These weren’t the types of lives I wanted for my mother, my brother, or myself.
As I woke up every morning, I would ask myself two questions:
1. What kind of life do I want for myself?
Asking myself this reminded me of my goal to graduate at the top of my high school class, attend a top university, and one day give my mother and brother a better life. My answer gave me a purpose to want to wake up every morning despite the environment I was living in. As the famous psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl, wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
2. Is what I’m doing today going to get my closer to the life I want? If not, why am I doing it?
Asking this reminded me to keep on my path I set for myself when the temptation to not was all around me. Even poverty could not take away my power to wake up every morning and decide what I wanted to do with my day. Asking these two questions every morning, even if I woke up with no electricity, motivated me to avoid the choices I saw others made around me while working towards building the life I wanted.
Pain is temporary, regret is forever
Every day, these two questions pushed me to study a bit more for the SAT when others were getting into bed, to wake up and work on my admissions essays when others were still asleep, and to apply for one more scholarship despite already being rejected by over 180 others.
On the days I felt stuck, when my SAT scores showed no improvement, when my essays were trashed, and scholarship foundations would continue to reject me, those two questions reminded me to keep going on my path. Those two questions reminded me that my pain and agony were temporary, but if I quit, I would live with regret forever. Instead of stopping, each day I got closer and closer to my goal.
Eventually, studying while my friends were at the movies, waking up while my peers were still in bed, and knowing the type of person I wanted to be while others didn’t, paid off. In March of 2011, I was accepted to Yale and Harvard and earned scholarships to graduate debt-free from both.
You might not have the money, the social connections, or the physical ability today to take 100 steps every day to creating the life you want, but just the fact that you are reading this right now means that you have the power to take at least one. And that is one step closer than you were yesterday.
What type of life do you want for yourself? And the things you’re about to do today are they getting you closer to that life? If not, why are you doing them?
——–
Davis (@JustDavisNguyen) is finishing his last semester at Yale University. When he is not in class, Davis spends his time reaching out to people who inspire him. If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be? Davis will show you how.
The post Two Questions that Guided My Journey from Poverty to Yale appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
If you want to make any kind of changes in your life, it’s self-discipline that will either help you reach your goal (when you have a lot of self-discipline) or send you back to square one (in case you have little of it).
How do you build self-discipline and resist temptations in order to achieve your long-term goals? In this blog post, I’ll share with you the 5 keys to self-discipline.
No matter how much self-discipline you possess, you can’t force yourself to keep doing something you hate (I know, I’m a college dropout). Consequently, if you don’t have a good, empowering reason why you want to do something, you won’t succeed.
Self-discipline is all about choosing your long-term goals over your temptations. If your long-term goals won’t bring a much bigger reward than the craving you feel now, guess what… Your chances of resisting a temptation are zero. Zilch. Nada.
It doesn’t mean that having a powerful “why” alone will solve all your problems, but it will make things much easier.
So… What is your big “why?”
Let’s imagine your goal is to lose weight. That’s a fine goal, but it won’t be enough when you feel an overwhelming craving to eat chocolate.
This goal doesn’t elicit a powerful emotional response because it’s not specific enough. It doesn’t tell a story. It doesn’t give you a reason why you want to achieve it.
Let’s switch it to something more specific – you want to lose 20 pounds before the end of spring to go to Hawaii for vacation. Now that’s a much better goal, isn’t it?
Imagine yourself on the beach, enjoying the warm rays of sun in that sexy bikini (or cool swimming shorts) and feeling healthy and vibrant in your new body. Imagine running after a beach ball and smelling the fresh ocean. Imagine the energy flowing through your body, fueling you to discover all the Hawaiian islands offer. Imagine all the great memories you’ll take home.
Now look at that chocolate bar. Is it really worth it to give up this powerful vision for a short burst of sugar?
If your “why” is powerful enough, you won’t hesitate with your answer – “Hell no!”
Key #1: Come up with a powerful reason why you want to stick to your goals. Remind yourself of it each time you’re tempted to give up.
What most people don’t realize about habits is that we can use them in place of self-discipline.
That’s right, you don’t necessarily need any more self-discipline than you have now if you use the power of habits to make changes in your life.
Let’s say you have a habit of brushing your teeth right after you wake up (I really hope you have such a habit). Do you need any amount of self-discipline to brush your teeth every single day?
No? That’s what I thought. It would be bad if you did.
Anyway, I digress.
Let’s say you want to introduce some changes in your life, but you have a hard time resisting temptations. Saying no to a craving is hard job, especially during the first few weeks of making changes in your life.
But it needn’t have to be that hard if you know the process of creating habits. Here it is:
Let’s say you want to introduce a habit of eating a cup of vegetables a day. Here’s how you can go about it:
Cue: let’s build this habit on top of another habit. If you usually eat dinner at 3 PM make it your cue to peel vegetables BEFORE you eat anything else or order them first (before the main course).
Action: eating a cup of vegetables.
Reward: ask yourself what would motivate you to keep repeating this behavior. Does the feeling after eating a healthy meal makes you proud? That’s your potential reward. Do you need something more tangible? Reward yourself with something healthy, but pleasant, e.g. taking a brief nap or drinking your favorite tea/coffee.
When your new behavior becomes automated (it takes on average 66 days to form a new habit), you won’t need self-discipline to keep doing it.
What if you want to modify a habit?
First, let’s find out if it’s hunger that motivates you to eat it. Eat a larger portion than before – so much that you’re stuffed. Do you still crave a chocolate bar? If so, test another potential reward you’re seeking.
Replace a chocolate bar with a candy. Do you still crave a chocolate bar? No? It means you don’t crave chocolate, but probably just something sweet.
Let’s test it further. Replace the candy with an apple. Do you still crave junk food? If not, you’ve identified the reward you’re seeking. Do you still want to eat junk food? Keep searching.
Let’s test another possibility – eat something you’ve never eaten before (or something you eat rarely). Do you still crave that chocolate bar? If not, you’ve identified the reward. Your diet is too bland and you eat sweets to bring some variety into your diet.
Once you have it all figured out, you can come up with an alternative behavior to your existing bad one. If you always eat a chocolate bar right after dinner because you’re tired of your bland diet, eat a different piece of fruit right after each meal. Or use different spices for your main meal. Or try different food altogether. If it was the need for variation that motivated you to eat a chocolate bar, these changes should do the trick.
Modify all of your bad habits in a similar way.
Key #2: Create habits that will automate your healthy behaviors (and prevent the bad ones).
Have you ever given in to a temptation without paying any attention to what you were doing?
Don’t feel bad, we’re all guilty of this behavior.
Studies show that distracted shoppers are more likely to sample food at the sampling station in the supermarket. And why wouldn’t they? If you’re distracted, the logical part of your brain is gone and you’re left with that nasty, spoiled brat part of your brain that wants everything now.
Self-awareness is a big thing that can make or break your resolutions. If your mind constantly wanders anywhere but where you currently are, you’ll find it hard to say no to a craving. And then your “why” is of no use – you won’t even think about it before a piece of chocolate disappears in your mouth (or before you go to sleep instead of going to the gym).
How do you solve this problem? Obviously, the first step is to cut down on everyday distractions. Social media, texting, and other notifications in your phone can successfully drive you mind away from what you’re doing. And if you happen to be shopping, don’t be surprised your shopping bags are stuffed to the brim with things that weren’t supposed to find their way into your pantry.
The second step, which is actually a huge part of self-discipline, is meditation. Meditation trains your mind to stay focused on the present moment. It takes a lot of willpower to sit still and focus on your breath – even for just a couple minutes.
It’s not just my opinion. Studies show that meditation induces white matter changes in the anterior cingulate (don’t ask me, I have no idea where it is, either) which leads to improved self-control. Boom – here’s your new habit to become more self-disciplined.
Start with a 5-minute session every morning. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on each inhale and exhale. Your mind will drift away – that’s okay. Just make an effort to bring it back to your breath.
A couple weeks of such practice will help you calm down your overactive brain and become more aware in the situations in which your self-discipline is tested.
Key #3: Learn how to focus more on the present moment. Absent-mindedness is one of the most common reasons why people are unable to resist their cravings.
Various scientific studies confirm that social influence is a significant factor in obesity. If a family member or a friend is obese, you’re much more likely to be obese, too. The closer someone is to you, the more influence she has on you.
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Guess he knew before scientists how powerful social influence can be.
What all of this have to do with self-discipline?
Self-discipline isn’t any different from obesity. Just like you’re more likely to pick up bad eating habits when your friends have them, so can they affect your self-discipline.
I have a childhood friend who started hanging out with less than ambitious individuals. A couple months later, his everyday life was pretty much the copy of the lives of these people – playing computer games, hanging out in the neighborhood doing nothing, and consuming unhealthy substances on a daily basis.
Only when he cut the ties with these people a couple years later, his life advanced. He got back on track to make positive changes in his life and his self-discipline improved so much he was able to get rid of most of the bad habits “contracted” from these people.
Does your social circle encourage you to make positive changes or does it have a detrimental effect on your life? Is there anybody who makes you feel particularly good and anybody who always challenges your willpower? How can you reduce the time spent with the person who has a negative influence on your life and spend more time with the empowering one?
In every area of life, the easiest path to success is to hang around like-minded, successful individuals. Here are a couple ways how you can use the power of social influence in your life:
Key #4: Surround yourself with people who will empower you instead of tempting you to give up.
Have you ever gave in to a temptation because you wanted to recompense yourself for a bad emotion?
If you’re anything like me (and millions others), it happened to you more than once.
Willpower is just a small piece of a bigger puzzle. If one of the parts doesn’t fit, the rest doesn’t add up, either. One of the factors that has a huge effect on your life and your self-discipline – a huge piece of a puzzle – is something most people underestimate. I’m talking about… stress.
An Australian study on students shows that stress makes you extremely poor at self-control. Students who were stressed because of exams reported an increase in smoking and caffeine consumption. Their diet and sleep deteriorated, they struggled with controlling their emotions, exercised less, paid less attention to household chores and self-care habits. They also cared less about commitments and spending.
All in all, they were in a pretty rough shape. All because of stress.
The moment your mood goes sour, your ever supportive brain starts looking for something to lift your spirits – usually an easy to get reward you want to avoid – eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, surfing the Internet, playing video games, and so on.
Stress is an inherent part of our lives, and it’s foolish to believe we can completely eliminate it. But it doesn’t mean you have to let it affect your self-discipline. Simple activities can greatly reduce the levels of stress in your life. The key is to focus on techniques that provide a longer stress-relieving response, not a quick release of tension.
Here are a couple healthy ways to reduce stress – without challenging your self-control.
If you fail at resisting a temptation, don’t criticize yourself and don’t make yourself feel guilty. Accept that you had a slip-up and move on. Self-guilt can contribute to your levels of stress, thus leading you to weakened willpower (and even more problems resisting the temptation at another occasion).
Key #5: Don’t overestimate the power of stress. Reduce your tension on a daily basis to stick to your goals better.
These five keys to self-discipline are 20% of the activities that will bring you 80% of the results. If you focus on nothing else but these five things, you’ll definitely improve your willpower and become much more powerful at resisting temptations.
What is your top technique to say no to instant gratification and stick to your goals?
Martin Meadows is the pen name of an author who has dedicated his life to personal growth. Self-discipline is one of his specialties. He covers it in much more detail in his recently released book “How to Build Self-Discipline: Resist Temptations and Reach Your Long-Term Goals” which you can buy here.
The post 5 Keys to Self-Discipline – Resist Temptations Like a Monk (and Achieve Your Long-Term Goals) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Is meeting new people your idea of hell?
Would you rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than introduce yourself to a stranger?
And what about that person you already know but just can’t relate to no matter how hard you try?
You blurt out something dumb and their face scrunches up.
Everything goes to slo-mo.
You swear silently, chirp something inane, and then realize your tongue has become a thousand pounds of dusty cement.
You’re certain the other person must feel like a cornered animal looking to escape.
So instead of dreading your next encounter, use the following tips to quickly connect with anyone.
First prepare yourself.
Right at the beginning, it’s all about you.
Say what?!
Since getting flustered usually means you’re self-conscious, how is focusing more on yourself supposed to help?
Here’s how. Quickly take the following steps to get yourself calm, open, and ready for rapport:
With practice, you’ll get so skilled at this self-check that you’ll do it instantly.
You can also do this whenever tensions are running high to get yourself right back to calm, curious mode.
Then be like a camera; focus on them.
Forget about yourself. Bring your full attention to them.
Read their body language.
Check their expression, posture, and shoulders. Take note of the top three areas that give you solid clues about how they’re feeling:
If you’d like help learning how to read other people, no problem!
Be curious.
Ask questions!
You’ve got an opportunity to learn about another person and enrich your life.
Treasure it.
Simply enjoy how they see the world.
You don’t have to agree or change your dearly held beliefs. But consider that you just might:
Listen to find common ground.
Note the language they use.
What does their vocabulary say about their viewpoints?
Do you use similar language? If so, you might have more in common than you realized.
But if they say something that provokes a reaction in you, simply note it. No need to go all gangsta on them. This isn’t about you, remember?
Say, “Tell me more.”
It’s a phrase that draws people out faster than free hot fudge at an ice cream sundae convention.
Tell me more is especially useful if you’re talking with someone who’s been barking short answers despite your best efforts to put them at ease.
Corral your wandering attention.
You know what happens.
The other person’s talking, but you’re thinking about that weird phone call you got earlier. Can you believe what that guy said?
You realize you’ve completely missed the last few bits of conversation.
Just quickly bring your focus back to the other person. Don’t beat up on yourself. It happens to everyone.
You could say, “Sorry. My attention wandered for a minute. Mind saying that again?”
Far from offending anyone, you’ll actually reassure them that you’re so present that you know when you’re not, and you aren’t just pretending to listen.
Watch how the other person responds.
For example, if at first their entire being screams, “I’m tense and uncomfortable!” – awesome! Rise to the challenge. See if you can get them to open up and relax.
Do they drop their shoulders?
Are they smiling at least a little more?
Do they lean toward or move closer to you and make more consistent eye contact?
Are they answering your questions with enthusiasm and interest?
Are you ready to connect?
You’ve learned how to develop a calm, open presence that will direct the tone of your encounters. Just as physicists tell us how a plucked A string on an instrument will cause the A string of nearby instruments to vibrate, so too will others vibrate with your energy.
You’ll be centered and self-aware, which means you won’t be at the mercy of the emotional state of the other person.
Your ability to build rapport with a wide range of people will set you apart from the crowd.
But fair warning!
People will seek you out.
Your influence will grow.
You’ll get asked to help mediate, resolve conflict, and show how you inspire others.
Just be sure you’re ready for all that attention.
——-
Lynn Hauka teaches leaders to stop working their fingers to the bone yet still get great results, then she celebrates with them as they reclaim their personal life. If you’re ready to get your work and life back in balance, start by getting your free copy of 5 Calendar Hacks To Be More Productive Yet Leave Work On Time.
The post How To Instantly Connect With Anyone appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
In order to attract something , be it money, a partner or even an object like a fancy car we have read that we must use the law of attraction in order to receive it. While I do believe there is a lot of truth in the term “law of attraction”, why is that even when want something with all our heart, visualize it every day, take action and yet most of the time never wind up getting it?
Does it work or does it not? There is one key element in understanding the law of attraction that a lot of people seem to miss. Even after reading a bestselling book like “The Secret” of which the primary emphasis is the law of attraction, it still can leave a reader confused that if I want something deeply, can I attract it into my life?
Based on my understanding, the statement that we attract what we deeply desire in our lives is not quite correct as in that case everyone would have what they want. It’s not “what we want” but “what we are” that decides what we will attract in our lives.
We have to first internalize what it is we desire if we want to be in the space of attracting that particular thing.
A few questions might help in elaborating the concept.
We want to attract a spouse – Do we behave like the spouse that we may want to attract?
We want to attract wealth – Do we value our time like money, handle challenges correctly, think big & have the kind of vision we should?
We want a loving family – Are we loving with your family at all times or is it conditional based on how they behave or depending upon how our moods are?
Putting it simple rather than thinking ‘I want ‘ , it would make a lot more sense to ask the question “ “Am I behaving in a manner consistent with that which I want to attract “
If we are merely thinking in terms of the Law of attraction as what we want, we are in fact distancing ourselves from it as it is something that we do not have within us but if the same quality of what we want is built within us, we are much closer to attracting it.
It’s a lot like receiving the same energy that we are giving out all the time in our feelings, thoughts & actions with people.
When we are thinking, acting & feeling like what we want to attract in our life is when we are most likely to attract what we want as only in that moment we are congruent with what we want & we are more likely to attract the ideas, people & circumstances that we desire.
Once we have this awareness, we become more aware about how we are conducting ourselves & whether that behavior is taking us closer or away from our desired object.
Lastly I’d like to suggest that do not worry about whether you are going to get it or not but as long as you are working towards attracting something positive that & as long as you are inculcating that quality, it is only going to help you.
——-
What motivated me to blog ?
Facing day to day challenges, it started to intrigue me how people have learned to be successful despite several odds stacked against them. I wanted to further understand the power of our minds as to how it affects the rest of our life.
I thought the best way to learn would be to share what I know & what I ready which is when I found “ Pick the brain” as a very suitable platform to share my thoughts which I hope will help others. Check more of my thoughts at my blog!
The post Clearing the Confusion About The Law of Attraction appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Productivity is a central issue in the life of every worker. As we strive to get more things done in shorter time periods, many of us may fall victim to some of the common productivity myths, many of which can actually negatively impact our work. To put these misconceptions to rest, we’ve compiled a list of 7 of the most common myths to help you make sure you’re really getting the most out of your day.
Having at least 8 hours of solid sleep is supposed to make our bodies prepared for the daily rush. The truth is, the amount of sleep required for optimal functioning depends on individual needs – and these change as well!
Depending on the season, our mood or the previous day, we might need more or less sleep to be productive the next day. The 8-hour sleep rule is simply a myth. Sleep is something that cannot be bent to the uniform rules of productivity.
Until recently, multitasking was considered a top productivity hack. However, recent research reveals that multitasking actually slows us down, increasing our potential for error. But that’s not all. Multitasking was also found to generate much more stress in workers.
This study demonstrated that people who tend to multitask were less likely to retain information, experienced attention problems and found it difficult to switch from task to task in comparison to people who preferred to focus on one task at a time.
In today’s professional culture, this is simply not true. Lots of studies have shown how working from home or public spaces, such as cafes, increases productivity. Essentially it’s a matter of preferences – while some love to work outside the office, others find it difficult to focus when surrounded by people who aren’t working.
Some people say that the web is bad for our productivity because it floods our minds with useless information. In fact, ever since the internet has become a significant part of our lives, we began to consciously choose the knowledge we want to remember.
This is backed up by research. In 2011, Science magazine published a study which demonstrated that today, some people simply prefer to research information instead of memorizing it.
A clean and organized space is something people think powers productivity. It all comes down to individual preferences again. This study showed that lack of order might help some workers to be more efficient and creative, aiding in their decision-making process. In short, organization is relative and depends on individual needs, rather than preconceived standards of order.
We all like to stay busy and seldom have time to spare for boredom or day-dreaming. In fact, all of these are essential to our mental health and help us organize the information acquired during the day. They recharge our brains and power our productivity. Have a look at this study to see that these moments of idleness can actually help us focus.
This is a classic productivity myth that impacts the international job market. If you believe that by working longer hours, you’ll get more things done, think twice – it has actually been proven to lower productivity, lead to errors and generate stress.
A breakthrough study examining the issue was published by The Economist in 2013. The magazine compiled data from 1990 until 2012 in OECD countries, showing once and for all that long working hours does not equate to higher productivity.
With these popular productivity myths busted, you’ll be able to avoid losing time applying them at your work and focus on what really matters – your individual preferences.
Nicole Davies works at ShortCourseFinder, a website providing a simple way to find and sign up for online short courses from Australia’s top providers. Main areas of her interest are the social media and the use of new technologies in everyday life.
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How does your locus of control affect the things that make you happy and the love in your life? Is it internal or external?
Whether or not you have a background or even an interest in psychology, there is an idea in the realm of personal psychology that directly connects with everyone. It’s a concept that brings up the ideology of the extent to which people believe that they can control events affecting them. This idea is locus of control.
So that being said, what really is locus of control and how is applicable? How is it measurable?
Locus of control is the idea that people have direct power over events in their lives and how these events impact, motivate, or empower them on a multitude of levels. There is a measurable means of pinpointing where a person’s locus of control falls in the grand scheme of it all. This idea is internal versus external locus of control.
Julian B. Rotter was a psychologist who pioneered the term locus of control. In a groundbreaking writing titled Generalized Expectancies for Internal Versus External Control of Reinforcement, Rotter states the following about external vs. internal influences:
“The role of reinforcement, reward, or gratification is universally recognized by students of human nature as a crucial one in the acquisition and performance of skills and knowledge…When a reinforcement is perceived by the subject as following some action of his own but not being entirely contingent upon his action, then, in our culture, it is typically perceived as the result of luck, chance, fate, as under the control of powerful others, or as unpredictable because of the great complexity of the forces surrounding him. When the event is interpreted in this way by an individual, we have labeled this a belief in external control. If the person perceives that the event is contingent upon his own behavior or his own relatively permanent characteristics, we have termed this a belief in internal control.”
Basically, Rotter is saying that there are different ways we perceive motivators and life events through internal and external means. Externally we focus on the phenomenon of luck, fate, and our place in the world under superiors and others in charge. Internally we focus on characteristics of locus of control that are more geared toward the personal choices we make and how we perceive and validate our own choices.
Locus is Latin for place or location. The concept of one’s ‘place’ within their locus of control is measured by how internal or externally swayed they are.
An example of this is how a student who fails an exam views the situation. If the student has a heavy internal locus of control they will recognize that they could have studied more adamantly in order to pass the test. They recognize that they could made more personal attempts at understanding the exam material. If the student is more external with their locus of control they will look at other factors. Maybe the teacher doesn’t like them, or the classroom was too noisy during the test, or they had something else on their mind that was distracting them from the task at hand.
Another more extreme example of this idea deals with a catastrophic event that happened in Bangladesh two years ago. When a clothing factory collapsed, 1,127 factory workers were killed due to poor working conditions and a unstably constructed building. There are a multitude of reasons why this disaster happened but on terms of locus of control and those injured in the process; it can be viewed in an internal or external manner. Those with an internal focus would argue that they could have noticed the conditions that were unsafe themselves and made attempts to ensure that their workplace was up to basic building codes. Someone that is externally driven would argue that it was bigger than them, i.e. fate or karma that controlled the collapse. Either way it was an unfortunate circumstance, but interestingly enough even something to this caliber can be processed with locus of control in mind.
Also an important factor to keep in mind is stability. Stability has a large impact on locus of control. Depending on how mentally stable a person is directly impacts how internally or externally driven they are. Generally the more stable a person is, the more internal they seem. Just as the issues of mental health stigmas are relevant and important to understand, it’s important to not have stigmas associated with someone that is very externally driven. There are reasons why a person falls into either category and a lack of internal locus of control isn’t always a bad thing.
Personally, I believe that I have a strong internal locus of control. I tend to be more focused on how my own actions affect my life and am less hung up on outside motivators such as luck, fate, and peoples influences on the environments I am surrounded by. While internal locus of control is associated with stability within oneself it’s important to understand that in matters of love and relationships, external locus of control is something that can sway and impact a person more than they might realize.
If there isn’t alignment between internal and external motivators in any relationship then many problems can occur. Balance is important. Stability is a must. You must have a strong sense of your own desires and what personally makes you feel good in order to achieve long term happiness. That being said, there are always outside, peculiar experiences that impact this. Fate plays a role and it’s important to recognize that, but don’t let it overshadow your internal locus of control.
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