Tidy Home, Tidy Mind – How Your Surroundings Can Affect Your Mental Health

You’re reading Tidy Home, Tidy Mind – How Your Surroundings Can Affect Your Mental Health, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

They say a tidy home equals a tidy mind, but if only it was as simple as that! Whilst a clean environment won’t necessarily solve all of your problems, it can actually have a great impact on your day-to-day outlook and mental health. Whether you’re suffering with stress, feeling overwhelmed or struggling to find motivation, your surroundings can have a dramatic effect on your mood. You may not notice this straight away and you may shrug it off as a non-issue but it is definitely something that’s worth thinking about. We all have those days, where we come home from work tired and all we want to do is collapse on the sofa or crawl into bed. After a long and stressful day the last thing you want to do is see to the pile of dishes, the stack of unopened mail or pile of internet shopping you’re still yet to open.

Waking up and having to deal with a messy house every day can severely impact your motivation, concentration and it’s simply not a great way to start your day. It’s wise to clear a little bit of time to organize the chaos, and then reap the benefits of a calm and tidy home.

Clear the Clutter

The first step to a tidy home is getting rid of the clutter, a time consuming yet worthy task. You’ll need to dedicate a weekend to sorting through all of your items – think minimalist! You don’t have to get rid of all of your worldly possessions but think about what you do and don’t use. You’ll be much happier living in a home that isn’t crammed with unnecessary objects. It will give you space to breathe and a much more organized mind. This is especially important if you ever work from home, after all how much can you really get done in a messy and uninspiring environment?

Sort through the Paperwork

Bills, bills, bills! Those annoying weekly reminders that you owe money on your credit card can soon mount up and before you know it you’ve got piles of unopened mail all over the place. Buy a cheap shredder and spend an afternoon shredding all of your documents and sending them off for recycling. You’ll feel a weight off your shoulders and hopefully you will finally be able to see extra space on your kitchen worktop! Be sure that any sensitive information is destroyed and say goodbye to the mess. Give your important documents a new, organized home so that you can easily access them, without having to trawl through 100s of unopened letters.

Give the walls a fresh lick of paint

Did you know certain colors can affect a rooms Feng shui? Create the perfect ambience with an intimate, peaceful setting using all the right shades. Opt for calming colors such as a soft neutral green, lavender and grey. Avoid harsh colors such as red, magenta and violet as these will have the opposite effect and can also make rooms appear smaller and more cramped.  Try and ensure your rooms are letting in as much natural light as possible too, as this is much more calming than fluorescent lighting. Bright open spaces are much more satisfying than dark, cluttered rooms which can leave you feeling depressed.

Add a touch of green

Did you know plants are great mood boosters? Good Feng Shui plants are the top air purifying plants, these are ones that provide clean, good quality air! Make sure you opt for an areca palm, bamboo palm, English ivy, rubber plant or lady palm for a gracious flow of energy in your home. Plants to avoid include cacti for their spiky energy! Not only will these plants provide you with zen, they’ll also add a beautiful touch to your home.

Following these simple steps, de-cluttering your life and organizing your belongings will make you feel hugely motivated. An untidy home can feel hugely overwhelming, don’t stress yourself out trying to transform it into a minimalist haven overnight, it will take time but will be so worth it in the long run. Once you declutter you will be able to think more clearly, feel more positive and enable you to enjoy a more welcoming and comfortable living area to appreciate. For expert advice regarding a tidier way of living, be sure to check out Marie Kondo’s bestselling book ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up’ it will change your life forever!

Happy de-cluttering!


Matilda is a firm believer in self-development, spirituality and a tidy home! She is a freelance marketing manager for interiors boutique Homeward Bound Interiors and enjoys nothing more than travelling the world in search of inspiration in all aspects of her life!

 

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May 24th

The surest defense against Evil is extreme individualism, originality of thinking, whimsicality, even—if you will—eccentricity.

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How to Succeed by Quitting

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“I just feel so trapped! We need the money.” I was terrified. I had spent ten years being a lawyer, and many years before that striving to be exactly where I was. Well, maybe not striving to be crying in my therapist’s office which is where I was at that moment, but striving to be an attorney. My therapist nodded empathetically and said, “but do you? Really? Does your daughter need money or a mom who isn’t having weekly anxiety attacks?”

The act of lawyering was a wonderful experience, when I got to do it.  But as a relatively junior attorney, I was just someone else’s briefcase, carrying all the knowledge but doing very little of the substantive work. Of course, the pressure and stress were none the less for my lack of authority.

It took returning to work after the birth of my first child to jolt me into action. Suddenly anxiety attacks and being a briefcase weren’t compelling enough reasons to leave my precious child in the care of another person 10 hours a day. But how could I let go of being a lawyer? I’d worked so hard to get there. It seemed like such a waste to walk away before I “made it.”

With the help of my supportive and tenacious therapist, and my husband, I finally quit. It was scary but I learned five crucial lessons that have delivered me from quitting a job I hated to a successful life.

1. Know That Experience is Never Wasted

Just as energy can never be destroyed, experience is never wasted. Instead it moves to support your next endeavour.

If I hadn’t worked all those years as an attorney on writing and research, my blog would be far less interesting. If I hadn’t learned the art of persuasion, my daughter would be eating cheetos for dinner. I may not be a practicing lawyer anymore but I am certainly using all of the tools I gained as an attorney.

2. You Are Not What You Do

You are not a lawyer, real estate agent, florist, cardiologist, mom, or wife. Don’t accept the easy label. And do not endure misery eight hours out of the day just to maintain that label.

You are a person living the most unique experience on the planet because it is yours alone. Make of it what you will.

3. Quitting is Not Failure

I was so concerned that quitting the law meant that I had failed at being a lawyer.

Then I realized that adjusting one’s actions due to external circumstances is not failure. It is pivoting and adapting to a changing landscape. Continuing on as if nothing had happened would be failure. Pretending my dream of lawyering aligned with reality despite all evidence to the contrary would be failure.

Quitting what doesn’t serve you anymore is growth, self-knowledge and wisdom. Own it for the positive action it is.

4. Your Family Needs YOU

Your children don’t need a label. They need you: engaged, happy, passionate, and present. Yes, you need to make enough income to live. No you don’t have to stay home with your kids to give them what they need (unless that’s what you want!). But it is amazing how much you can reduce your needed income when you start prioritizing happiness over money or fancy titles.

For instance, my husband and I moved out of our uber-expensive city suburb to a quiet town. He went back to school and I am exploring a profession that doesn’t cause panic attacks. Rent in our new town is half the price of rent where we used to live. Childcare, gym memberships, food and utilities are all far less expensive here as well.

Of course, you can bank small savings by canceling your cable programming. But sometimes you have to think bigger to live a life you love.

5. Embrace Change

You are not trapped. Sometimes life pivots on you in a way that makes you feel cornered. You feel you have to keep doing what you’re doing because to do otherwise would be a waste, a failure, or too risky financially. So you keep doing it despite the consequences.

But life has a way of pushing you back into that corner until you either go mad or change. I’m here to suggest you choose change, sooner rather than later.

Ask yourself, what can I change to free myself? Why is this not working for me anymore?

If you’re feeling trapped, remember that quitting is not failure. It is instead proof that you have successfully read the signs and are following your path regardless of your previously held assumptions of what the path “should” be.


This is a guest post by Ashley Rupp who provides practical tips for personal growth on her blog Reining in Mom. She inspires moms to make themselves a priority and thrive with well-researched, compelling articles on habit formation, goal setting, clean living and simple parenting.

You’ve read How to Succeed by Quitting, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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A Guide to Developing the Self-Discipline Habit

By Leo Babauta

One of the most important life skills to develop, for those just starting out in life (and everyone else!), is the skill of self-discipline.

It’s like a superpower: when I developed some self-discipline, I started exercising and eating healthier and meditating and writing more, I quit smoking and ran marathons, I started a blog and wrote books, I read more and work earlier, I decluttered and transformed my finances. I’m far from perfect, but I’ve learned a lot.

But if you don’t develop self-discipline, it causes problems: health problems, distraction, procrastination, financial problems, clutter, things piling up and overwhelming you, and much more.

So it’s such an important skill to develop, but most people don’t know where to start. This guide is aimed at helping you get started.

I’m writing it for my kids, and for anyone else who would like to develop a superpower.

Finding Motivation

The first question is, how do you even get motivated to start? Most of us don’t want to think about our lack of discipline, let alone take a bunch of actions.

For me, the motivation came from realizing that what I was doing wasn’t working. Ignoring the problems only made things worse. Trying to be disciplined but doing it half-assedly only resulted in me feeling bad about myself. Being wholly undisciplined was causing myself a bunch of pain.

Once you realize that you’re causing yourself pain … you might develop a whole-hearted intention to stop hurting yourself. You might say, “OK, that’s enough with making my life worse. Let’s try to make it less worse.”

With that in mind, you can tell yourself that you are going to:

  • Start taking small actions to make things better
  • Do the things that hurt you less
  • Push yourself into discomfort a little bit, so you can get better at this over time
  • Get good at self-discipline with some practice

Keep these things in mind as you practice, as you get the urge to not practice, and as you make mistakes and then want to give up.

There are other good motivations as well:

  1. Wanting to help others — if you get better at exercise or healthy eating, for example, you can help your aging parents who need to get better at these things. If you get better at not procrastinating on your life’s work, you can help more people with that meaningful work. More on this below, in the “Focus on Others” section.
  2. Appreciating life — we have a short time here on Earth, and the life we have is a gift. When we procrastinate and give in to endless distraction, and don’t make the most of our time, we are not fully appreciating the gift we have. Instead, we can appreciate it by being present, being grateful, and being purposeful about how we spend our time.

With these motivations — or whatever motivations move you the most — we can start to practice.

Small Actions

One of the most important things you can do to get better at self-discipline is to take small actions. It can seem overwhelming to tackle huge, intimidating projects … so don’t. Instead, tackle easy actions, things so small you can’t say no.

Have some taxes to do? Just do 5 minutes. Want to run? Just run for 10 minutes. Have a report to work on? Just do the first few paragraphs. Want to declutter? Just find 5 things to declutter.

You’ll get better at self-discipline if you focus on small tasks, and break bigger projects into small tasks. Read more.

Discomfort Training

One of the reasons we don’t have self-discipline is because we run from the hard, uncomfortable things. We would rather do the easy, comfortable, familiar things.

So instead of facing our hard, uncomfortable projects or finances, we run to distractions, videos, games. This running from discomfort is ruining our lives.

What you can tell yourself is that you’re done running. You are going to push into discomfort, a little at a time, and get good at being uncomfortable. This is another of your superpowers. When others run, you’re OK (even if it’s not always fun).

One small task at a time, push yourself into discomfort. See how it feels. See that it’s not the end of the world. See that you are awesome enough to handle discomfort, and that the results are well worth it.

Mindfulness with Urges

You’ll have the urge to quit doing something hard, or to put it off for now. Those urges don’t serve you well.

Instead, develop mindfulness around those urges, and see that you don’t have to follow them.

A good way to do that is to set a time for yourself where you can do nothing but X. For example, for the next 10 minutes, you can do nothing but write your book chapter (or exercise, meditate, etc.). When you have the urge to procrastinate or run to distractions, you’ll easily see it, because you’re either writing the book, or you’re not. When you have the urge, tell yourself you can’t follow it, you have to either write your book chapter or sit there and do nothing.

Raymond Chandler used that as his simple writing system: “Write or nothing. I find it works. Two very simple rules, a. you don’t have to write. b. you can’t do anything else.”

The reason it works is that you are setting up a time where you do nothing else but that one specified task, and you can see your urges to run away. Use this to learn to be mindful of your urges, and see that you don’t have to follow them.

Interval Training

If you combine the above items into a system of bursts, or intervals, you can train yourself using interval training:

  1. Set your intention to practice self-discipline and not hurt yourself anymore.
  2. Set a task to focus on (writing, drawing, strength training, meditating, etc).
  3. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Five minutes is also fine if 10 is too long. Don’t go longer until you get good at 10 minutes, then increase to 12 and eventually 15. I don’t find I need to go beyond 15-20 minutes even when I’m kicking butt.
  4. Do nothing but sit there and watch your urges, or push into your discomfort by doing the task.
  5. When the timer goes off, give yourself a 5-minute break.
  6. Repeat.

You can train for several intervals, or potentially for an hour or two. Then take a longer break, and do another set of intervals after that.

This kind of interval training is fantastic, because it’s not that hard, you really train yourself in discomfort and watching urges, and you can get a lot done this way.

A Focus on Others

When you find yourself struggling, dig into deeper motivation: doing your work/exercise/meditation etc. not for yourself, but for others.

For example:

  • I’m writing this article to help my kids, and anyone else who might benefit.
  • I work out to be healthy, not only for myself but as an example for my kids and others who might benefit.
  • I meditate not only for my own peace and sanity, but so that I can help others find their own peace and sanity.
  • You might draw or write or play music to inspire others.

In each example, you might benefit … but you’re also doing it to benefit others. And this benefit to others is much more motivating than doing something just for yourself.

Try it … try doing a difficult task for someone else. Tell them you’re going to do it for them beforehand, then keep them in mind as you do it. See if you feel more motivated.

Victories in Success & Failure

A huge mistake that a lot of people make is that they mess up, and get discouraged by this. They feel bad about messing up. This causes them to give up and not want to think about developing self-discipline.

Here’s the thing: failure is actually a victory.

Failure means you tried. So it’s a victory from the start.

But it also means you learned something — you now know that what you tried didn’t quite work. Next time, you can try something a bit different. Add more accountability, try it at a different time, unplug your wireless router, get a workout partner, anything. Because of your failure, you have new information. You’ve learned, and that helps you get better.

Failure is a victory. Success is also a victory. No matter what your result, you can see it as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to get better.

Drop any ideas of being perfect at this, and just keep trying.

The next time you fail at whatever you’re trying, instead of letting it get you discouraged, see it as a victory. Then keep going, no matter what, because giving up is only going to hurt you some more.

Getting Support

You’re not in this alone. You have family, friends, online strangers who can help you. Form a support team by reaching out to the people around you, and asking for their help.

Lots of people skip this because they are embarrassed by their lack of discipline. They feel that the way they behave is shameful. That’s not true. Actually, we all act like this, but we’re just afraid to show that side to each other. But the truth is, if you show your “dark” side to people, they actually love you more, trust you more, relate to you more. So don’t be afraid to connect with others in a vulnerable way.

Find the courage to ask for help. Then let yourself be supported as you work on pushing yourself into discomfort and hurting yourself less.

If you need help from me, try my 44 Training Program – Turning Uncertainty & Discomfort into Mindful Openness.

You can do this.

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16 Money Management Books To Achieve Financial Freedom

You’re reading 16 Money Management Books To Achieve Financial Freedom, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

money management books

Money. It’s a touchy subject for some people, and it’s just a game for others. I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum: totally broke and busted on one end — and total financial freedom on the other. The former is stressful beyond belief; while the latter is friggin’ awesome. Now, I’m no Warren Buffet by any means, but I do know what it feels like to pull myself out of the brink of bankruptcy and learn how to finally get finances together. And most of my money management education came from two places: 1) Failing miserably in the real-world (and eventually learning from those failures); and 2) Reading lots and lots of books. Today, I we’re going to talk about the latter… More specifically, I’ll be dropping a list of the 16 most powerful money management books I’ve ever read.

Some of them are old-school classics. Others are new-age money management books written to help us adapt to the evolving economic conditions of the modern world. But ALL of them will be useful towards helping you to not merely manage your money — but towards achieving total financial freedom.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

#1. Millennial Money by Patrick O’Shaughnessy

The money game isn’t anything like it use to be. And for us Millennials, it’s taken an unrecognizably different form than what our parents were used to. Millennial Money provides unconventional strategies that modern Millennials can actually put to use.

#2. Happy Money by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton

In Happy Money:The Science of Happier Spending, co-authors Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton explore how the way you spend your money can have more of an impact on your happiness than how much money you have or make. This is not a book about how to make more money, but a book that teaches us how to spend money in ways that will yield true happiness in both our personal and professional lives.

#3. Bold by Peter Diamandis, Steven Kotler

Bold is the modern money book we’ve all been waiting for. Learn about using exponential technologies, moonshot thinking, and crowd-powered tools to create extraordinary wealth while you make a meaningful difference on the world doing work that matters… Expect to learn new and unconventional methods to leveraging the web’s infinite tools to raise money, make money, and manage money.

#4. Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

This is the grandaddy of money management books… it’s been around for awhile, but that doesn’t mean we Millennials can’t learn a thing or two from it. If you’re looking to learn a balanced combination of money management techniques to help you pave your path to success and financial abundance — then this is your book. This classic is filled with stories, strategies, and inspiring insights to help you achieve the financial fitness you deserve.

#5.  Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

This is a real book of wisdom that goes far beyond what its title entails. Originally published back in 1937, Think and Grow Rich tells us the principles, habits, and secrets of some history’s wealthiest people: Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and many more. Think & Grow Rich is more than just a money management book — it’s a money mind-set book.

#6.  I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

Cheesy title. Great book. I Will Teach You To Be Rich is a practical money management book that’s based around is based around four simple pillars of personal finance: (1) banking, (2) saving, (3) budgeting, and (4) investing–and the wealth-building ideas of money management and financial success.

#7. Secrets of The Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker

This is a book about how to develop a successful psychology and mindset for money… which I believe is the most important aspect of — not just managing money — but building the abundance and financial freedom you deserve. The essential money management book for learning how to develop a millionaire mind.

#8. Flash Boys by Michael Lewis

I’m going to be straight with you: this money management book will piss you off. But that doesn’t mean it’s no good. It’s an incredibly compelling read. The reason it’ll get you angry is because it exposes the how Wall Street has been rigged for the benefit of the insiders — and only the insiders. Until now.

#9. How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life by Russ Roberts

What’s it really take to be happy? Money? Fame? Respect? The feeling that we’re doing something that matters with our lives? … What’s it really take? In How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life, author Russ Roberts takes the old-school money management principles and applies them in a more modern context to better suit the world we live in today. More than just another money book, pick this best-seller up to lessons on life from one of history’s greatest thinkers about how happiness, virtue, fame, and fortune are all intertwined one another.

#10. The One-Page Financial Plan by Carl Richards

Let’s face it: Money Management can be a daunting topic. In The One-Page Financial Plan, author Carl Richards simplifies the complex money management concepts and distills them into actionable advice anyone can follow to get a handle on their finances.

#11. MONEY – Master The Game by Anthony Robbins

Based on extensive research and detailed interviews with over 50 of the world’s most legendary financial experts—from Carl Icahn and Warren Buffett, to Ray Dalio and Steve Forbes—Tony Robbins has condensed the incredibly complex concepts of investing and financial lingo into a simple 7-step money book that anyone can use for financial freedom, regardless of how much (or how little) you know about this subject. Money plays such a crucial role in our lives, so we might as well learn to “master the game”, right?

#12. The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham, Jason Zweig

In The Intelligent Investor, you’ll learn money management lessons from the greatest investment advisor of the twentieth century, Benjamin Graham. This gem of a money management book contains an updated approach on Graham’s original philosophies; allowing you to implement these time-tested principles in the modern market our economy presides in today. This is the perfect book for anyone who wants to combine old-school investing wisdom with the realities of today’s market.

#13. Get Rich Carefully by Jim Cramer

Get Rich Carefully is the battle-hardened how-to guide for effectively managing your personal finances. Author Jim Cramer teaches you his principles on turning your savings into real, lasting wealth in a practical and easy to follow format.

#14. The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke by Suze Orman

Learn the basic principles of money management from one of the world’s most trusted financial experts… In this money book, author Suze Orman covers all the fundamentals: credit card debt, student loans, credit scores, home-buying, insurance, and even how to handle the financial conundrums that come with your first real job (or business).

#15. Why Didn’t They Teach Me This in School? by  Cary Siegel

The lack of basic information taught in our public schools on the topic of money management (and life, in general) is a total embarrassment. The very place we’d expect to be taught these critical skills are the last place any of us ever learned how to get a handle on it. This book breaks down what we should’ve learned about managing our money growing up.

#16. The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

In this book, famed financial coach Dave Ramsey breaks down a battle-hardened playbook for building up your financial fitness. Here’s some of what’s covered in the book: The 10 most dangerous money myths; a sure-fire plan for paying off all your debt; and how to secure a huge money reserve for those unexpected moments that matter most.

That was right on the money.

Now that you’ve got this list of the 16 best money management books — there’s only one question left… Which one do you read first? Should you go out and get all of them immediately? Should you read them all at once? Or should you take a lifetime to read them? So many options. So little time. Ultimately, it’s totally your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career. But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started:

  • Subscribe to a book summary site, like FlashBooks to get the key-takeaways from the books on this list.
  • If you’d prefer to read an entire book, I would highly suggest that you read just ONE book at a time. Sometimes, when we see something new and exciting, we have tendency to want to do/learn/read it all at once… and as we all know, this is nearly impossible to do without stressing ourselves out. So, choose a book. And then commit to reading it from start to finish.

You’ve read 16 Money Management Books To Achieve Financial Freedom, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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May 22nd

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

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What a Year and a Half of Meditation Taught Me

You’re reading What a Year and a Half of Meditation Taught Me, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It was literally just a google search.

I remember sitting at the edge of my bed, frustrated and exhausted from the endless chatter in my head. So, I googled “How to not get overwhelmed by thoughts” (typing that sentence on google was tiring in itself), and, the app Headspace showed up as a search result.

Without even knowing what it was, I clicked on the link and started exploring their content. To be honest, it was the beautiful design that caught my attention, it made me want to stay there, as if, a combination of code seemed to get my frustration- it empathized with me.

One thing led to another and I started meditating every day for ten minutes.

It has been almost a year and a half now, and, the simple act of sitting idle for ten minutes has taught me more about myself and life than any textbook.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned:

#1 We are not our thoughts and feelings

The French Philosopher Rene Descartes is famous for his saying “We think therefore we are” which, roughly translates into equating identity with thinking. And, to some extent, we’re all pretty identified with the voice in our heads, that constant chatter that guides our lives. It tells us what to do, who we are and how to react to situations.

A similar story holds true for feelings.  Whenever we feel an emotion, we tend to become it.

Meditation taught me that, in reality, we’re not our thoughts or feelings. That, itsa sense of space can be created between the real “us” and our conscience.

Sitting idle for ten minutes is tougher than it sounds, our minds are going to wander and our feelings- erupt. The goal, then, is to not get lost in this and instead- be present. That is, whenever the mind wanders, recognize thit’sa thought and bring our attention back to the body, to the point of focus (breath in case of Mindfulness Meditation and Mantra in case of Transcendental Meditation).

The same holds true for getting space from feelings. A body scan helps us recognize the physiological changes happening in our bodies (that feeling of rush during rage or excitement, the “heaviness’ in our chest during depression) , helping us “see” our feelings instead of be it.

During times of stress, this space helps us make better decisions. It stops us from using our fists during that argument or believing that we suck just because that voice is a downer.

So, was Descartes wrong?  I’ll let Eckhart Tolle take over: 

“The philosopher Descartes believed that he had found the most fundamental truth when he made his famous statement: “I think, therefore I am.” He had, in fact, given expression to the most basic error: to equate thinking with Being and identity with thinking.”- Eckhart Tolle, Power Of Now

#2 Life is simple. It just.. is

We have many interpretations of what life is and isn’t; When things go wrong, these perceptions come into play and things get a bit more complicated than they actually are.

Despite knowing that life is in the present, it’s incredibly tough for us to stay there. We’re teased by things and people around us, so much so, that we spend most of our time living in the past or dreading/fantasizing about the future. Or worse- both.

Think about it- at this exact moment, as you read this, what else are you thinking about?

Now, I’m sure you know this. I’m certain you’ve read a hundred other articles that talk about our unfortunate inability to stay in the now. So, the question is- what can we do, if, our society today makes it harder for us to stay in the now?

Notice.

Meditation is not just about practicing the present moment in those ten minutes.It’s about extending that practice beyond those ten minutes- to the things we do everyday, to the tasks we engage in, the people we talk to; To life.

Meditation, then, taught me that no matter how wrong things go, the present moment is very simple. It just is- right there, without pain, without suffering. It’s our mind’s interpretation of the future and past that makes us worrisome.

The Stoic Philosopher Seneca once said- “We suffer more in imagination than in reality”. And, after year and a half of simply noticing and being curious of my thoughts and feelings, I can say that Seneca was right.

#3 Kindness is the way forward

Meditation helped me become kinder- to myself and to others. It taught me that we can only be charitable and kind to others if, in a very real sense, we’re attuned with our own madness.

It also made me ask a more important question- If we’re not our thoughts or feelings, why do we think what we think? Why do we feel what we feel?

Sadly, most of the factors that dictate this, to some extent, are out of our control- childhood experiences, genetics, etc.

We’ve all had different kinds of childhoods and have been brought up by people, who, themselves, have lived so many different stories. And then, after growing up, we’ve ourselves experienced and gone through so many different things.

Our past matters too because it shapes how we respond to life in the present. For instance, what do you do to fight stress? How do you stay sane when things go out of bounds? Do you stay sane when things go out of bounds?

Here’s Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence- “Emotional Intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.” 

So, most of our automatic patterns of thought have been constructed by such experiences.

Now, can we change ourselves?

Of course. But, isn’t it a little sad that much of this is outside of our control?

No wonder people judge us (and we judge them).

Meditation helped me to not make immediate assumptions about people; it made me realize that in reality, no one’s “bad”; we’re all just hurt in different ways. Further, it made me kinder towards myself, so, whenever I’m having a bad day, I remind myself that I’m not my thoughts or my feelings; they just are, for us to observe and learn from.

Because I’m kinder to myself (attuned to my own madness), being kinder to others is easier.

I guess Plato got it right on point when he said, “Be kind. For everyones fighting a hard battle.” 

#4 Productivity is simple

We’ve made productivity way too complex; there are hundreds of apps and add ons that will help you achieve “10X more” and “10X faster”. Unfortunately, when it comes to accomplishing things, /more/ is not the answer.  And, when we’re done with testing out new versions of apps, we think the “secret” lies in taking supplements.

In theory, however, productivity just requires two things- clarity and focus.

I wrote about how we can use Stoic Philosophy to gain some clarity before engaging in any task.

Just like Philosophy can help us gain clarity, Meditation can help us get in the flow state.

Sitting in silence for 10 minutes (or more) helps me train my mind to come back to the object of focus. So, no matter how distracted I am by thoughts and/or feelings, once I’m aware that I’m unaware, I’m not unaware anymore.

This practice (of coming back to the present, again and again), has made me quite productive. Now, I know that before I start engaging in any task, I need to snooze all my notifications so i don’t get distracted by external things. Similarly, to make sure my own thoughts and feelings don’t block my progress, I try to achieve stillness whilst doing the task by being conscious of my breaths. And, because I only do one task at a time, my working memory has information that is very specific to the task at hand.

Once the flow state kicks in, I’m out and if Meditating for a few minutes everyday can help us enter in this state, I think its worth trying.

Over To You

I can end this post by going on and on about how grateful I am for that google search, but, I think I’ll let Marcus Aurelius end it, hoping that it encourages you to practice sitting in silence.

People try to get away from it all- to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within. Nowhere you can go is more peaceful- more free of interruption-than your own soul. An instant recollection and there it is: complete tranquility. So keep getting away from it all – like that. Renew Yourself. But keep it brief and basic. A quick visit should be enough to ward of all and send you back ready to face what awaits you. – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. 

You’ve read What a Year and a Half of Meditation Taught Me, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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7 Life-Changing Truths Most People Are Too Scared (or Too Stubborn) to Admit

7 Life-Changing Truths Most People Are Too Scared to Admit

“So you’re always seeking the truth?” she asked.

“I do my best to be,” I said. “Don’t you?”

Her gaze shifted downward.  “No, I don’t.”

“Well, that’s good to know.  I mean, it’s a good start,” I said.  “Just admitting this is a step forward…”

She quickly interrupted me, “I’m not saying I like lies and liars!  At least that’s not how I meant it, anyway.”

I smiled and continued, “I’m smiling because I know what you mean.  But I also want to hear it from you, in your words.  So tell me, how do you mean it?”

“I…I just…I just don’t always admit the truth about what I think and how I feel, and I don’t always seek the truth when I probably should.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s easier not to,” she said.  “Because the truth is often scary, and it hurts pretty bad sometimes…and sometimes it even changes everything.”

“Yeah, it does.  But lies and ignorance usually hold people back and hurt them even worse in the long run,” I said. (more…)

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