You’re reading 6 Mental Hacks For Working Out, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), over 50% of people over 18 years don´t meet the amount of recommended weekly exercise. If you are one of those people struggling to finally start and keep a regular workout routine, here are 6 mental hacks for working out:

1. Think longterm

The truth is, no matter how hard you may train, you won´t suddenly lose 20 pounds in a week or go from running 2 miles to running a marathon. Getting stronger mentally as well as physically takes time, so it is important that you set expectations accordingly.

Many people fail at maintaining a regular workout routine simply because they expect too much in too little time, only to be disappointed. It is therefore necessary that you set realistic expectations and know in advance that any major transformation takes time. Getting in shape is not a one-time thing, but requires constant effort repeated for many months and years.

2. Make health a lifestyle

The reason most diets and New Year`s resolutions fail is because you suddenly expect too much of yourself in too little time. When you want to jump from not working out at all to working out an hour every day, failure is just a matter of time because there is no way you will follow through with that. You get overwhelmed within a matter of days with all the things you suddenly have to do or can´t eat until you give up completely.

The easiest solution for this is to make health a lifestyle – to make exercising and healthy eating fun rather than trying to force yourself to do something that you hate. Instead of setting unrealistic expectations like “I will never eat sweets again” or “I will run 6 miles every day” when you haven´t run before, resolve to make the first steps in the right direction. For example, decide to limit your sugar intake by 50% or start by working out 10 minutes every day. Make it doable in the beginning so that you don´t get overwhelmed.

3. Consistency is key

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

Whatever you are trying to accomplish in life, whether that is at your job or in your health, consistency is absolute key! Greatness does not come from one giant event that suddenly transformed your life completely, but rather the little choices you make every day along the journey. Every little decision you make, whether small or big, has an effect on your future.

We often tend to disregard the little choices and instead focus on the big ones, but it is often the small, seemingly inconsequential choices that make or break your success. For example, switching up your daily desert from cake to an apple once does not seem to do much good. But if you repeat this day after day for many months and years, this little decision can have a major impact on your future. Every little decision matters, so make sure you are making the right ones!

4. Hold yourself accountable

Usually, it is way easier to just fail yourself than someone else. Find an accountability partner, one that tracks your progress or, even better, can work out with you. There is nothing more motivating than having a team of people to push you on your way to a stronger and better you! Check out your local running club, find a workout partner at the gym, or simply ask a friend that has been struggling to keep a regular workout routine to join you.

5. Treat yourself right

Anytime you follow through on your commitments, make sure to positively reinforce that by treating yourself well! Whether that is getting a massage after a full week of keeping your diet or a little shopping trip for running three times this week, find something exciting that will reinforce the positive feelings about working out.

6. Set goals

I have found setting goals to be one of the best things do to boost your motivation. Whether it is a certain time you want to run for a 5k or the local half-marathon you finally want to participate in, find a goal that excites you and inspires you to take action! As Tony Robbins said, “People are not lazy, they simply have impotent goals.. that is.. goals that do not inspire them.”

When you find yourself struggling to find motivation, simply find a goal inspiring enough to get you excited and take action immediately!

Featured photo credit: Jack Moreh via freerangestock.com

You’ve read 6 Mental Hacks For Working Out, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Change Your Life in Just 5 Minutes a Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

There are many things that can make us happy: reading, healthy food, listening to good music, running and taking walks every single day, coffee with a friend… Why aren’t we doing all these things? The usual answer is: “there’s not enough time.” Well, time is a factor we can’t change. There’s no way to make a day last for 26 hours, so we’ll use that extra time for extra pleasure. We have to work with what we have, so the question is: how do we squeeze in some happiness in 24 hours?

The problem is in the approach. There are people who work really hard, have a great connection with their families, and still find time to prepare their meals and exercise in the morning. Their days are not longer; they just use the time more wisely. Can you find 5 minutes of your time for an activity you like? Those 5 minutes can really change your life. Think of it as an investment in your personal growth.

5 minutes a day. Everyone has them!

Changing Your Life in 5 Minutes a Day

During these 5 minutes, you’ll be doing something important: building a daily habit of appreciation. It will be like a daily meditation that will push you forward through life… hopefully, with a smile on your face. You can’t meet all friends, read a book, watch a movie, or exercise in 5 minutes.

However, this habit will teach you to appreciate the time and make a wiser decision. You won’t even notice how you’re finding more time for those pleasures in future. Let’s see how it’s done. These are all things you can do in 5 minutes:

Take a Regenerative Shower

Have you ever felt the healing effects of water? You’re feeling exhausted after work. You don’t have a single atom of energy left in your body. After a shower, you feel much better. Water does have such an effect on us, but we have to be aware of it if we want to experience it in its full glory.

Take that shower. Use a luxurious soap that makes you feel special. Relax. You have these 5 minutes to yourself. You’re important. You deserve to have a special moment in the day. Feel how the water washes the stress away. When you’re focused on the process of relaxing, you realize that this routine is more powerful than you assumed.

Be Grateful

Tomorrow, get up 5 minutes earlier than usual. Those 5 minutes don’t make a difference in sleep, but they make a huge difference when you’re awake. Before you get the cup of coffee and before you do anything else, just sit in quiet. Close your eyes and think of something you’re grateful for. You have your friends, your family, your home… the list can go on and on. Focus; don’t let your brain be drawn towards negativity. At the end of those 5 minutes, take a long, deep breath and be grateful for the air you breathe.

Do that every single day! When you start the day with positive thoughts, you have more strength to face any challenge that comes your way.

Set Priorities

Here is another thing you can do in five minutes: think of the most important things you need to do in order to live a happy life. Maybe you already have a schedule and your priorities are listed there, but this is a difference. Set long-term goals that would make you happier than you currently are. Do you want to start a family? Write that down. Think of everything you need to do in order to make that happen.

This practice will keep you focused on the big picture, which can get blurred under all daily errands.

Call a Friend

How long can a simple conversation take? Call a friend, every single day. Just ask how they are doing. Listen to them. Share your worries and happy moments. Texting is overestimated! When you’re actually talking to each other, you’re sharing real emotions and special moments. 

Start Doing Something!

You have 5 minutes on your hands and you’re wondering what to do? Start a book. Even if you have only 5 minutes, you’ll read a page. Sign up for an online course! There are tons of learning opportunities you can explore, and the best part is that they are free. You think you don’t have time, but sign up anyway. Tomorrow, you’ll explore the course for 5 minutes, and it won’t take long before you make a strong commitment. Use that little time to take any action.

When you do something you enjoy, you suddenly realize that every moment of the day is precious. Instead of spending 5 minutes stressing over tomorrow’s assignments, you can use that time to relax. Instead of taking a shower just for the sake of being clean, you can really enjoy those moments and be alone with yourself. Even if you decide to do every single one of the practices above, it will take 25 minutes of the day. You have that time. Repeat your favorite thing every day!

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Eva Wislow is a writer and career advisor at CareersBooster.com. She is on a mission to help people find their true calling. When she is not working, you can find her reading with a cup of coffee.

You’ve read How to Change Your Life in Just 5 Minutes a Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Is This One Critical Mistake Crippling Your Confidence?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Are you’re freaking out at the thought of meeting new people, speaking up at that meeting or going for that job interview?

Have you tried all the standard advice on how to be more confident, more self-assured?

And have all your efforts actually left you less confident, less self-assured?

Take heart. You’re not alone. There’s a really good reason.

You see, it’s still good advice…

• Talk louder
• Walk faster
• Strike a ‘power pose’

And so on.

Good advice that is … for anyone not like you.

That’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s because everything is right with you.

The problem is you’re making one critical mistake that’s crippling your confidence…

The true, authentic you.

You see, you were born with a fierce desire to be you. And you naturally want success in your personal and work life. But not at the expense of who you truly are.

And you feel that if you follow a lot of the good, but generic advice out there on how to be confident, you’ll end up a walking, talking, posturing caricature of yourself.

Trying to build healthy self-esteem and confidence by imitating others is like trying to eat healthily on a diet of fast food.

Your self-esteem and confidence can only flourish in the person it belongs to – you.

You are unique and have always had your own unique self-confidence. What you need is to unlock that confidence and use it to permanently rock your world.

You see, the critical mistake all this advice is making is treating self-confidence as if it were somehow an external thing.

True, lasting confidence is an inside job.

The advantage of inner confidence is that it doesn’t rely on ‘faking it or external techniques designed to impress others. Techniques that, even though they may work in the short term, leave people like you and me feeling less confident and often with lower self esteem in the long term.

Remember, the only thing NO ONE on this planet can do better than you … is be YOU.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You! – Dr Seuss

Or if you prefer:

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. – Oscar Wilde

You will always be a poor imitation of anyone else. Only by unlocking your true inner confidence can you :

• stop feeling intimated by others
• stop feeling inferior to others
• stop saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything.

And instead:

• Start feeling good about yourself
• Start feeling more confident about your capabilities
• Start saying ‘no’ and standing up for yourself without creating conflict or feeling guilty.

So here’s a few suggestions to start unlocking your inner confidence…

• Instead of talking louder, try talking quieter – Gandhi never raised his voice and a nation listened.
• Instead of walking faster, try walking at your own pace – I’ve never seen the Dalai Lama rushing from one place to the next.
• Instead of striking a ‘power pose’, try letting your authentic body language speak for itself.

Unlock you inner confidence

Stop missing out on great social, personal and work opportunities

Imagine being at ease when meeting new people.

Imagine speaking up with confidence at that next meeting.

Imagine acing that next job interview.

Let your authentic, inner confidence rock your world.

From the inside, out.

Bio: Laura Tong is a former health professional, a regular contributor on The Huffington Post and Assistant Editor at Goodlife ZEN. Along with Mary Jaksch, a psychotherapist and authorized Zen Master she has created The Confidence Blueprint to help you feel good about yourself and unlock your authentic confidence with proven strategies and techniques. Or take her fun and revealing Confidence Quiz.

 

 

You’ve read Is This One Critical Mistake Crippling Your Confidence?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The 7 Best Blogs on Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Happiness is a mental state that is indefinite by the fact that it is fleeting emotion. When we feel it, we attempt to hold on to it and tend to feel worse once it inevitably ends. That is why it may be time to examine what happiness essentially is and how one can actually cultivate it in order to experience it more often. Surprisingly, scientific studies show that happiness is more about feeling balanced than it is about feeling the ‘highs’ of excitement.

Here are 7 blogs that clarify happiness so you can focus on feeling it:

1. This blog focuses on the ‘triangle of stability’ that comprises of 3 factors, Time, Status and Emotion. Time being the present moment that includes the history of your past success and defeats. Status is our real and unseen potential, that gives us a direction to drive our actions. Emotion is the attitude for which we reflect ourselves to others, essentially determining our happiness.

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2. This is a great blog that lays out opinions in a very straightforward way. Mark Manson believes that although someone may be responsible for a circumstance or predicament that affects you, nobody can be responsible for your happiness as you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to how you decide to perceive and react to things. ,

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3. Simple as it gets, and so easy to achieve, You wanna be happy? Move! All it takes is a little exercise to boost your mood and happiness instantly.

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4. The Dysfunctional Attitude Scale’ is a fun game to play and in this blog, we are given the instructions. The author posits that we must challenge our thoughts and not always trust their truth or validity particularly if we are feeling emotional, they can cause irrationality.

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5. This blog focuses on ridding our minds of the limiting belief that we only have one true calling in life. This belief can be so ingrained in us since childhood that it will cause anxiety and unhappiness. It is accurate that many people have potential in several areas of life, and can switch gears to numerous careers or simply include all their interests into one career. The ‘multi-potentialite’ is born, which should not be perceived as ‘indecisive and non-committal’ but ‘innovative and original.’

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6. This author uses the idea of relativity to help us get back on track after a major setback in life. No more looking at the big picture, this can be overwhelming at times, the key is to start small and begin to perceive your circumstance as surmountable, especially as compared to others who may have it much harder. Relativity helps us minimize self pity and regain control of our lives by focusing on what we have to be grateful for.

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7. This article introduces one to the ‘conscious aging’ movement. It is a strong mindset that can alleviate anxiety and increase happiness as we age toward our retirement years or even if we are already there. The practices of exercise, driving and socializing do wonders as activities that maintain self esteem and overall well being. As well, the issue of healthcare avoidance is addressed, which is very important in feeling your ailments will be taken care of now and in the future as you age.

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Happiness is really about tapping into your potential to control your own perspective. If we can increase the quality of our consciousness, all of our personal development will be funneled in the right direction. To be happy can sometimes come from our genetic disposition, which is out of our control, however, more often than not, it is in our power to perceive accurately what is our reality. Happiness is reality, that’s certainly one way to look at it!

Do you read a great blog about happiness that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!

Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

You’ve read The 7 Best Blogs on Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you could achieve just one thing this year, what would it be?

Whether you’re picturing yourself crossing the finish line of the London marathon, shaking hands with your boss after earning a huge promotion, or buying a one-way ticket to Australia, all of us dream of becoming a better, happier, healthier version of ourselves. Yet so often the goals we set seem so hopelessly impossible to achieve that we give up before we’ve even begun.

It doesn’t have to be that way. We all have the power to change our lives for the better. Our goals defeat us not because we aren’t good enough, but because the methods we use to achieve them aren’t good enough.

Try following these 5 simple steps, and this could be the year you finally become whoever you want to be.

Step One: Pick one goal.

Imagine that your fairy godmother rocked up this very moment and offered to grant you every wish you could think of. Chances are you’d reel off a v-e-r-y long list, because most of us have multiple ambitions and goals. Consequently, whenever we think about resolution-making, the temptation is to determine to tick everything at once.

Unfortunately, in a world devoid of fairy-godmother magic, goals can only be achieved by working hard for them. Pile too much of that hard work on at once and you’ll become overwhelmed and quit.

Remember that one success is better than multiple failures! Don’t fracture your focus: pick just one goal and devote all your energy to completing it.

 

Step Two: Make success measurable.

Thought of your goal? Good. Does it sound anything like one of the following: “be healthier”, “be richer”, “be more organised”? If the answer is yes, then rip it up and head back to the drawing board. These are examples of bad goals. Bad goals are generic, subjective, and consequently almost impossible to achieve. Exactly how organised is organised enough?

A good goal has an obvious, measurable end point. Think “I want to lose 3 stone” or “I want to save £5,000”. Not only is it clear what you’re aiming for, it’s also easy to track your progress.

The single best motivator to push us over a finish line is to be able to see how far we’ve already come. If you’ve diligently racked up £4,990 you’re very likely to skip those last two pints and add the tenner to your savings account. If you’re entirely unsure how much more celery you need to munch down on before you become adequately “healthier” you’re much more likely to jack it all in at the first sight of a Twix.

Step Three: Break the goal into the smallest steps possible.

Most people’s goals are big, challenging and lifechanging. That’s what makes them exciting – you wouldn’t feel the same sense of achievement completing something you could knock off in half an hour tomorrow morning. But the problem is that when you measure the distance between your end goal and where you are today, the huge gap is incredibly disheartening.

Luckily there is a simple solution; break your goal down into easily-completed chunks, and focus on completing just one chunk at a time. Every slob knows he can’t just roll out of bed one morning and run a marathon, so he considers it foolish to try. But if his immediate focus was to complete just half a mile, the fact that it appears achievable encourages him to go for it. By building up slowly, he becomes the champion runner he could never have imagined being when he began.

Every time you find yourself struggling, make your goal steps smaller. Even moving a millimetre each day gets you further than if you never moved at all.

Step Four: Plan how you will achieve each step.

If you’ve followed Step Three and made you goal steps nice and easy the amount of planning involved should be minimal – but that doesn’t mean it can be neglected entirely!

Most resolutions require tools to move forward: a gym membership, a foreign language dictionary, a savings account etc. Make sure you’ve got everything you need set up and ready to go so that when you have a burst of motivation you won’t be hampered by any annoying necessities blocking your way.

Step Five: Get going!

By this point, you should know exactly what you’re going to do and exactly how you’re going to do it. All that’s left is to get out and get going!

Prepare yourself for experiencing some inevitable slipups. They happen to everyone; the trick is to see them for the temporary setback they are and not get disheartened. It’s always okay to revert back a step if you need to. All you have to do is to keep moving, keep trying, and you can achieve anything you set your mind on.

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Beth Leslie writes graduate careers advice for Inspiring Interns. They specialise in matching candidates to their dream internship. Check out their graduate jobs listings for roles.

You’ve read How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

People are awesome… That is when you are making friends, socializing, and having a great time. The spoiler in this otherwise perfect scenario are those rude people you have to deal with in life. Sometimes we wish they’d disappear, but maturity is accepting someone for who they are while helping them become more.

Remember the last time you were deciding on a place to hang out and one person had problems with every place. Or perhaps the time when a colleague was rude to you for no reason? All of us inevitably have to encounter rude and difficult people. Knowing how to do with these people frees your attention from the inevitable aftermath of worry that follows when you encounter rudeness. Relax and take a sigh of relief for here are eight tips to dealing you out in the next debacle.

Tip #1: Keep your temper

The quickest way to lose control of a situation is to lose your cool round difficult people. By letting your anger get the better of you, you indirectly validate their behavior. Give yourself a chance of working things out by remaining calm. I’ve found it helpful to keep an open perspective which gives people margin for error. Don’t assume malice for possibility of error or even incompetence.

Tip #2: Be tactful but polite

The key to making others listen to is to tactfully put across your views all the while being polite. It is universally accepted that a polite person is heard over an impolite one because impoliteness triggers people to erect verbal and emotional walls. There is no quick, guaranteed way to ensure politeness. The simplest mind-hack I’ve found is to continually check in with yourself to see if you would treat the person you love most in your life, like you are right now with this difficult person. Use it to your advantage and make both the group and the rude elements listen to you.

Tip #3: Make your displeasure known

Address your issues with a difficult person and keep it between yourselves first unless you cannot resolve the issue. Gossip does not help. You have a responsibility to express your needs and expectations.

Youe should not burst out at every trivial issue but there are healthy times to let your displeasure be known. You have a right to assert boundaries. Inform the concerned people separately what behaviour was uncalled for or hurt you. You may be surprised that if this is shared in a non-aggressive but direct manner, they may have no idea what they did and immediately apologize. Do it also privately.

Tip #4: Praise effort

Acknowledge and appreciate all efforts the other makes. It is the simplest and most effective way of encouraging someone. When you praise their effort, you provide encouragement and comfort in a difficult moment. You also solidify better rapport between you two to handle further difficult conversations.

Tip #5: Ensure proper communication

Wondering what proper communication means? It simply refers to your body language and responses. Simple pointers to take care of are maintaining eye contact with the person while talking (don’t start staring people which is a trait of aggression) and during a telephonic conversation maintain verbal acknowledgements that you’re listening “hmm mm”. Giving proper responses may appear to be too trivial. However many a times things go haywire owing to basic gaps in respect and empathy. Let the person know whether you can understand him or not. Fundamentals are fundamental.

Tip #6: Have evidence to back your words

This is a sketchy tip that can work real well for some people. It can work poorly when you solely focus on the logic of the situation rather than the emotion. Use it wisely depending on the person and situation. The idea is to show him/her proof to back up your words. You could politely bring up documents to prove your words rather than enter into a heated match. Not that you have to start carrying a bulky proof folder every time you step out.

Tip #7: Be an example

I know the above sounds like a lesson in a preaching class, though they are effective measures to make others be nice to you. Concepts like leading by example, being always polite, or forgiving are very relevant and effective. Try these and you will find a marked difference in their treatment at least with you. Successful people are proactive in creating the life they want. You may not reform him or her, but your goal is to alter the way the person treats you.

Tip #8: Reduce your interaction time

It helps during conflict to notice your triggers then give yourself a cooling off period to think through the situation before jumping into it again. If every measure, every effort fails, then you are left with the option to reduce your interaction time as much as possible. Completely ignoring the person might not be possible if you have business with them. But then try to keep your conversations short and simple.

Joshua Uebergang helps shy men show their awesomeness to others with better social skills. He is author of a short-guide to deal with difficult people at towerofpower.com.au.

You’ve read 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“When you honor your body, mind and spirit you are saying to the universe, ‘I love you’” –Panache Desai

Most of us look forward to the weekend. Whether it’s for sleeping in late, catching up with friends, spending time with family or enjoying the occasional getaway, the weekend breaks up the routine of the work week and reminds us that life is more than just toil.

For those of us who are introverts, the weekend is especially valuable as a time for reclaiming the space and solitude we need to refill our energy tanks. Getting adequate rest is important for everyone, but as an introvert, I am biologically and physiologically wired to need not just lots of downtime, but lots of “me time.”

Any introvert will tell you that scheduling “alone time” to replenish our energy after the rigors of the work week is not a luxury. If I don’t regularly return to my natural element of stillness, silence and solitude, I stop feeling like myself and literally cannot function.

Weekend guilt: Why introverts can have it bad

So many people complain that the weekend is too short, and many of us struggle with the pesky feeling that we’re wasting our weekends. Whenever I feel like the weekend has flown by before I could really enjoy it, it’s usually because I allowed the nagging impulse to do more and be more distract from my enjoyment of the present moment.

Also, as an ambitious introvert, I can feel guilty and lost if I’m not in the process of pursuing some goal or the other, particularly when I finally have the solitude to do so. Yet doing nothing is a worthy goal in and of itself.

Another reason weekends can feel inadequate is because, in a fast-paced world, resting isn’t valued as much as it should be, so when we rest we don’t feel the same sense of accomplishment or satisfaction as when we work. Introverts, who have a pronounced need for silence, stillness and reflection, can feel odd, embarrassed and out of place when, all around us, society expects and praises busyness.

In fact, we’re often guilt-tripped by our more extroverted friends and family who are stimulated and socialize differently from us. Here are five tips for owning your weekends and feeling good about it.

1. Unplug

The weekend is the perfect time to make yourself unavailable to all but a few choice people. There is such a thing as being over-connected, a state in which we’re always “switched on” for the benefit of others, with a myriad of ever-shifting demands placed upon us.

Switching off the television, radio, computer, and cell phone allows us to recoup from our lives of chronic engagement, multitasking and information overload, and get back to the calmer pace of pre-technology life.

As an introvert, I use the Internet and text messaging to interact with the world with minimal drain on my energy. To avoid dependency and overuse, I have chosen to not join any social media platforms and I use a free time management app that limits my screen time.

Research shows that too much technology use has adverse, wearying effects on the mind and body. Studies have documented the health benefits of unplugging for even a few hours, everything from better sleep and reduced muscle pain, to improved mood and concentration.

2. Under-schedule

For some of us, the weekend is the only time we have to do brunch with a friend, attend church, complete chores or volunteer. If you’re a non-social introvert who is actively trying to be more social, it can be tempting to fill up your weekends with extroverted activities and social engagements.

While it’s practical and healthy to use the weekend to get things done and connect with people other than our co-workers, it’s also important to make sure our weekends aren’t hectic and over-scheduled.

Most introverts prefer weekends to be low-key and leisurely, yet we still have a deep need to meaningfully connect with others. We can find ourselves struggling against societal norms that pressure us to approach weekend activities the way extroverts do.

For example, I prefer to attend social events with a set beginning and ending time, but my more extroverted family and friends plan social events that are often improvised and can seemingly go on forever. I regularly have to remind myself that it’s okay to leave an event “early” even if I’m the only one doing so.

The key is to remember that because of the way we’re wired, we have an extra need for solitude and require longer periods of mental and physical recuperation. Trust your body; it’s a better gauge for ensuring your health and sanity than social norms.

Let go of the idea that you’re boring for not wanting to spend the entire night at a dance club, or that you’re somehow missing out on something if you accept your introverted preferences.

Free time is anything but a waste of time; it’s actually an investment in our relationships since we’re best able to give to others, contribute to our communities and enjoy experiences when we’re energized. Remember, quality not quantity is what counts.

3. Meditate

Meditation is a gentle but powerful way to release tension and stress accumulated during the work week. I have discovered that getting in touch with and nurturing a connection with the present moment is key for accessing healing, self-acceptance and joy. We all have the capacity to experience this powerful awareness of “being-ness”, but this requires that we slow down and focus inward, something that us introverts know how to do very well.

Mediating doesn’t have to mean sitting crossed-legged on a yoga mat with your eyes closed. You can meditate by listening to guided meditation audio while driving, doing meditative physical exercises like tai chi and qigong, or actively staying aware of your body and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts as you stroll through the park.

What is most important is to find the form of meditation that feels freeing and comfortable for you.

4. Master self-care

The weekend is the perfect time to refocus on our bodies and shower our introverted souls with attention. The exertion required to interact with extroverted co-workers and function in overstimulating work environments can leave us tense, numb and physically drained.

Also, many of us work in mentally demanding professions that keep us locked into the sphere of the mind and disconnected with the wisdom of our bodies. Introverts, who spend most of our time in our heads to begin with, can experience this mind-body disconnect more acutely.

Taking long, hot showers, or relaxing in a mineral bath soak are great, effective ways to get back in touch with your body and reward yourself for challenging yourself all week. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation or treat yourself to a massage. Aromatherapy oils like lavender and juniper, and soft, soothing music also have positive, calming effects on the autonomic nervous system.

I drink soothing herbal teas like chamomile, peppermint, lemon balm and kava teas that have been proven to aid physical relaxation. I own a bubble foot spa massager that I use ritualistically on weekends, and I make sure a significant part of my weekend is spent outside in nature, even if it just means sunbathing in my yard.

Remember, self-care means different things to different people. An extrovert might care for herself by shopping in a busy mall, while an introvert who likes to shop might care for himself by shopping online. The key is to nurture your soul by doing something enjoyable that makes you feel healthy and happy, and that connects you to your authentic, sensual self.

For introverts, activities like gardening, painting, crafts, baking, journaling, people-watching, yoga, swimming, cycling and dancing have relaxing effects and can be done alone or with just one other person.

5. Rest intentionally

It’s perfectly okay to keep your weekends sacred for solitude and rest. Rest as a spiritual principle is an age-old tradition evident in the existence of customs such as the Sabbath and the Spanish siesta.

Rest doesn’t necessarily mean inactivity or sleeping; rather, rest is the mental and spiritual state of being in harmony with ourselves, the world and the divine. In this state, the soul is untethered from the pressures of life regardless of what we are doing.

I’ve found that the more I embrace this spiritual heritage of rest, the more I open up to an authentic experience of life as an introvert deeply attuned to my true desires, natural habits and what I have to offer the world.

If you’re an introvert, know that your need to rest and withdraw regularly is not a weakness. Rather, it’s a call to intentional living and an invitation to return to a wise equilibrium. It’s a chance to come home to yourself, and to find joy in the wonders of life that are often missed in a world of distraction.

6. Embrace your own path

Frank Sinatra famously sang “I did it my way.” So do it your way. Trust in the divine wisdom that made you exactly as you are for a reason. There really are no rules, so own your introverted weekends. Know that you are free to use this time on earth as you wish.

As you veer off the beaten track of conventional weekend expectations, you’ll discover a vast freedom to experience life at your own pace, in your own beautiful way, in your own comfortable skin.

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Summer Edward is a writer, poet, educator, children’s literature specialist and wellness advocate from Trinidad. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and an M.S.Ed. degree in Reading, Writing, Literacy from the University of Pennsylvania and is the recipient of a Roothbert Fellowship awarded to people motivated in their life’s work by spiritual values. She uses the expressive arts to advocate for mental health wellness, personal growth and a culture of healing. You can connect with her at her personal website: www.summeredward.com.

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You’re reading 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It takes so much energy to stay mad at someone. Making sure the person who did us wrong knows we’re mad at them by planning on being visibly angry in his or her presence is emotionally taxing. What about if you live with that person? That’s a lot of acting! Sounds pretty tiring, huh? Learning to forgive and move on takes less effort in the long run than holding on to anger does. But why do many of us still hold on to our anger?

1. It’s easy!

Negative experiences are easier to recall than good ones…unless they’re extraordinarily good. Think back to that time when you had an angry confrontation where someone did or said something hurtful to you. Did you get over it quickly? Did it take some time to get over it? Are you still not over it? It isn’t pleasant to think about the times when someone has treated us badly.

I’m not suggesting anyone recall negative experiences to make them upset, but rather to show how easy it is to relive that bad moment and remember how it made us feel. All it takes is something small to trigger us and we’re suddenly right back in that moment.

2. It makes us feel safe

I know it sounds crazy, but staying angry can make you feel safe. Anger is one of the first emotions we experience from birth. When those angry cries are met with coddling, milk, and fresh diapers, we realize that crying gets us what we want.

As adults, when we get irately angry, we stop thinking clearly and the rational part of our brain shuts down. There is no reasoning with us and no calming us down; just stay out of the way. When we are in that state, we can’t think clearly and we probably don’t want to – especially if someone did or said to us that hurt or disappointed us.

Our anger saves us from having to admit we are hurt. That would make us feel vulnerable, unsafe. Nobody likes being around someone who is always angry, so people avoid us. It prevents the threat of having someone get close enough to us to try finding out why we’re angry. Keeping emotions bottled up makes us feel a lot safer emotionally than sharing them. We get exactly what we want.

3. It makes us feel powerful, in control

Some of us might get aggressive or even violent when we get angry. If we’re that upset, we might lack the words to express our anger in a more positive way. Sadly, this destructive behavior can make someone feel powerful. They were able to take this strong emotion and express it physically by destroying something (or someone). Just think. We actually have the power to destroy something.

It can also make us feel in control. Only we can decide we are not too angry to talk to the person who hurt us. Even if he or she wants to move past it, they can’t get past it unless we do. We can make them feel guilty for hurting us for as long as we want. We have the upper hand in the relationship (if we can still have one after what they did or said).

4. It allows us to get sympathy from others

If we’re to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that it feels good when people notice us. I don’t mean making us the center of attention; that could be embarrassing if we aren’t feeling the best. When someone shows they have been thinking of us or noticed we haven’t been our normal self, it can make us feel really good. When someone asks, “What’s wrong,” we shrug and say, “Nothing,” knowing they’ll continue asking what’s wrong. This game of emotional cat and mouse gives us the attention we want. At least somebody cares enough not to simply go away when we say nothing is wrong. It shows they care, and we like that.

5. We don’t know how/don’t want to let go

We are creatures of habit. That means that if something good happens to us, we want it to keep happening. We develop superstitions and routines that we do all the time – sometimes without realizing we do them. All we know is that we’re mad and ignoring the problem definitely is not the right answer, but we may not know where to begin to properly address it.

If being angry with people for a long time has become our pattern and we’re able to manipulate the situation until we get what we want it must be working for us! Why change anything? We might not even want to let go of our anger.

The best way to let go of anger is to first identify where it comes from and then take active steps to resolve it. That also requires some work and a whole lot of honesty.

Here’s to releasing ourselves from our anger!

You’ve read 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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