Motivation

What I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Zen Habits

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By Leo Babauta

Unbelievably, this month marks 10 years since I started Zen Habits. I’ve had an amazing decade, and I’d like to reflect on those years today.

I’ve seen so much change in the last 10 years that I can’t possibly reflect on all of it.

Just a few examples of how my life has changed:

  • Zen Habits became my career. I had a full-time job (and was a freelance writer) when I started the blog in January 2007, with no idea it would change my life. A few months in, I decided that Zen Habits could be my calling, and I went into it full bore. By the end of the year, I quit my day job and never looked back. It has been amazing and gratifying.
  • I published numerous books. By the end of 2007, I had my first book deal, and I published the Power of Less in 2008. I’ve also published numerous ebooks (some of which I’ve taken off the market) and self-published the limited-edition Zen Habits book and then Essential Zen Habits. Last year I published several ebooks. It’s one of my favorite things, writing and publishing a book. These past 10 years have made me so happy as a writer and book lover.
  • I launched Sea Change and numerous courses. I’ve had the honor of starting my membership program, Sea Change with so many amazing members changing their lives. In addition, I created a number of other video courses (including an upcoming course called Dealing with Struggles). I’ve been so happy to be able to teach this way.
  • My kids grew up. When I started the blog, I had kids who ranged in age from under 1 year old to 13. Today, I have three grown kids and one who’s almost 18. It’s been quite a decade watching them turn into their beautiful grown selves.
  • I traveled, a lot. When I started the blog, I’d barely traveled anywhere outside of Guam except the west coast of the U.S. Since then, I’ve traveled all over the world, and it’s been an incredible journey so far. I still have a lot of places I want to visit, but I feel awfully lucky to have been able to go where I’ve gone, and meet people from so many cultures.
  • I learned a lot about habits and mindfulness. I thought I knew a bit about mindfulness and creating habits, but I’ve learned about a hundred times as much through my own experiments and teaching habits and mindfulness to thousands of others. I’ve written books recently on what I’ve learned.
  • I moved from Guam to San Francisco and then Davis. When I started the blog, I’d never lived anywhere else as an adult but Guam (I lived on the U.S. west coast). But we made the huge move from Guam to San Francisco in 2010 with our six kids, and it was quite an adjustment and learning experience for all of us. We went car-free and explored California. We absolutely loved it, and yet we missed our home and family tremendously. Today we live in Davis, California, completely changed because of our moves.
  • Eva & I became vegan. I became vegetarian shortly before starting the blog, and Eva slowly transitioned to vegetarian by 2010. In 2012, we both went fully vegan for ethical reasons (not wanting to participate in animal cruelty) and we have never been happier.
  • I made great friends, and lost one. While I had wonderful family and some really good friends on Guam, when I moved to the Bay Area I formed some of my closest friendships. While we no longer live near each other, I still see many of them regularly and I love them with all my heart. One of those friends, Scott Dinsmore, died tragically in 2015, and I miss him dearly. He was a brother to me.
  • I lost two fathers, gained some family. My father died in the beginning of 2015, and Eva’s father died last month. These were terrible losses for our family. They still hurt to this day. That said, I gained some gorgeous nieces and nephews, and brothers-in-law, and I love them all deeply.

That’s just the start of the changes, and I’m sure I’m forgetting a bunch of big things. Honestly, I’m a completely different person and my life woiuld be unrecognizable now to my 33-year-old self. Life changes all the time, but for me it has felt like accelerated change.

This has been a decade of growth, loss, learning, fatherhood, loving, service and joy.

What I’ve Learned in 10 Years

It’s been a decade filled with learning for me … too many things to put into one post. But as I’ve been reflecting on it all, I have a dozen or so notes I’d like to share with you.

Some of the things I’ve learned, starting with personal lessons and ending with lessons about my business:

  1. Focus on intentions rather than goals. As you might know, I experimented with giving up goals after being very focused on goals for years. It was liberating, and it turns out, you don’t just do nothing if you don’t have a goal. You get up and focus on what you care about. Read more here. Instead, I’ve found it useful to focus less on the destination (goal) and instead focus on what your intention for each activity is. If you’re going to write something … instead of worrying about what the book will be like when you’re done, focus on why you want to write in the first place. If you are doing something out of love or to help others , for example, then you are freed from it needing to turn out a certain way (a goal) and instead can let it turn out however it turns out. I’ve found this way of working and living to be freeing and less prone to anxiety or procrastination.
  2. Small actions really add up. By focusing on getting out and going for a run each day, I ran several marathons and eventually an ultramarathon. By writing a blog post or part of a book chapter every day, I’ve written well over a thousand blog posts and many books, articles and courses. Small actions every day can really add up to a mountain.
  3. Working resistance is the key to habits. What I’ve learned in working with others is that most people fail at habits because of resistance. When the time comes to meditate or exercise or write, resistance arises and we procrastinate. I’ve written a whole book on overcoming this resistance, but until you start to face your resistance and become mindful of it, you won’t be able to overcome it.
  4. Working with attachments is the key to happiness. What gets in the way of happiness? Frustrations, anger, anxiety, feeling down, disappointment, procrastination, self criticism, getting caught up in our stories. The root of all of this is attachment to something — what we want, the way we want things, the way we think others should act. If we can let go of those attachments, we can be happier. I’ve been working for years to get better at being mindful of my (many) attachments, and letting go when I can.
  5. Mindfulness is the key to everything. If working with resistance is the key to habits, and working with attachments is the key to happiness … then mindfulness is the key to both of those things. And more. The deeper I dive into mindfulness, the more I find that you can’t really work with anything important without it. Check out my Beginner’s Guide to Mindfulness for more.
  6. Health can be made simple. I’ve done all kinds of experiments to get fit and healthy, and they were all really interesting … but in the end, I’ve learned that only a few things really matter. Eat whole foods — my favorites are vegetables, beans & legumes, nuts, fruits, whole grains. And be active — my favorites are strength training, running, hiking, yoga, cycling and sports. I just pick one of these to do practically every day. In addition, floss, meditate, sleep. Each of these might seem hard, but if you just gradually work towards these simple things, you’ll get healthier over time.
  7. Consumerism & distractions require vigilance. The pull of distractions and urges to buy things (to solve problems or give us pleasure) is incredibly strong. Consumerism pulls on us every day, every time we watch TV, read online, see friends or strangers using products … and results in us owning too man possessions and getting too deep in debt. Distractions are a constant pull on our attention as well, pulling us away from what’s most important, taking attention away from the present moment. How do we overcome these powerful attractions? Constant vigilance: notice when you’re buying too much or becoming too distracted, and start becoming more conscious every day.
  8. Life is incredibly precious. The deaths of loved ones, and the growing up of young ones, are powerful reminders of how short life is. And how important it is to appreciate this gift we’ve been given. I really believe life is a miracle, and to take it for granted is kind of a crime. I do my best to realize the preciousness of life every day, and appreciate as many moments as I can. I try not to take my loved ones for granted, because I have no idea how many more moments I have with them.
  9. Focus on one small project at a time. I often have a bunch of projects on my radar, but I usually focus myself on one small project. A short ebook, a lesson for a course, the redesign of a website. If a project is too big, I make it smaller or focus on just one part of it. I like projects that take less than a month, and ideally just a week or two. Any longer, and it becomes overwhelming. By focusing on small projects, I stay focused, have lots of energy, and feel accomplished as I get things done. Btw, I know that this might seem contradictory to the goal-less method I mention above, but I honestly don’t focus too much on the goal (I hold loosely to them) and try to focus more on my intention.
  10. Copyright isn’t necessary. One year into doing this Zen Habits blog, I uncopyrighted the blog and all my books. It was a scary and liberating move, as no other bloggers or authors that I knew of were doing it at the time. But I really believe in the open-source software movement, and decided that none of the ideas that I write about are my original ideas — I steal them from people before me like everyone else. And though I don’t try to control my work through copyright, I can still sell my books and membership program. I’ve found that people appreciate the uncopyright, and seem happy to support me.
  11. Focus on what matters to the readers. I’ve learned that a lot of things that people seem to focus on for blogs, websites and businesses don’t really matter that much. For example, people track all kinds of visitor stats, focus on how many followers they get, and try all kinds of promotional tactics (like popup subscriptions). These don’t really matter. What matters most? Helping your readers/visitors. I got rid of blog stats and comments and advertising and most social media, and I just focus on writing articles (and books) that help my readers. This has freed me from obsessions and other distractions, and instead I have the happiness of trying to help people.
  12. My readers are incredible. These last 10 years have been a true wonder for me. Not only have I gotten to make a living doing what I really love, but I’ve learned so much from all of you. The kind emails I’ve gotten, the notes of sympathy or joy, the feedback and suggestions … it has meant the world to me. I can’t express how grateful I am for all of you. It has been a true joy writing for all of you, hearing from you, being your friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I could go on all day about what I’ve learned, but these are some of the ones that have mattered most to me. I can’t wait to see what the next 10 years will bring!

Tenniversary Gifts

I thought about creating a gift for all of you on the 10-year anniversary of Zen Habits, as a thank you. But I just haven’t had the time, with our monthlong Guam trip (necessitated by the funeral last month). I am creating a new course called Dealing with Struggles that I think you will all love, but it’s not quite ready yet.

Instead, I will highlight my best offerings, as a hope that you will consider them a gift, or at least consider supporting me in some way:

  1. My Sea Change Program. I have worked for years to create the content in this program, and each month I offer a new monthly challenge with course content to accompany the challenge. I hope you’ll check it out.
  2. My best books. In the last couple years, I’ve created a handful of books that I think will help most people in a powerful way. Check them out here.
  3. A plea to try veganism. I know many of you truly love animals, and a wonderful gift to me would be to try to be vegan for 7 days. It’s not hard, and I would be deeply grateful. As would the animals!

Thank you all for being a huge part of my journey for the last 10 years. Your love and support has brought me to my knees.

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3 Unique Things That Successful People Do Differently

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You’re reading 3 Unique Things That Successful People Do Differently, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Are you already wavering on your New Year’s resolutions? It’s okay, you’re not alone. If you want 2017 to be the year that they stick, you are going to need some proven routines to keep you going. Where better to look than at the habits of highly successful people?

We all know the typical things that successful people do differently – wake up early, set goals, network – but what does the next level of successful behavior look like? No matter whether your passion is baking or real estate, everyone has something at which they strive to be successful. While there is no one defined behaviour for successful people, anyone who has spent extensive amounts of time reading interviews of and articles by successful people can agree that there are similar attitudes and behaviors that they possess. There are universal traits and practices that are common to all successful people regardless of their background and field of influence. If you want to create a culture of success in your life, here are the most common and effective habits of successful people to get you started. 

They set daily goals.

Most successful people attest to the fact that they do not simply wake up to an agenda filled with random activities. Instead, most successful people come up with large, long-term goals. American Express CEO Kenneth Chenault, for example, states that “at the beginning of each year, I set the key priorities and key objectives”.[1] These priorities and objectives are part of a larger, long-term vision, and are easily achievable when broken down into smaller pieces. Every day, then, successful people take the initiative to set themselves small, daily goals that contribute to the priorities, objectives, and long-term vision. They then plan their day ahead of time to ensure that they have activities and appointments planned that address each of their goals.

They take care of themselves first.

The most valuable resource you have is yourself. Successful people, especially those in the service industry, understand that they need to continually work on their personal brand and physical appearance. They also understand that their social life is as important as their finances and, as such, set aside enough time for leisure activities with friends and family. They know when to stop working. They also know that their bodies need good food, hydration, rest and sleep. On top of physical maintenance, they look out for experiences and relationships that will enhance their lives. They read widely from good authors and engage in positive conversations. They understand that you cannot change the world if you have not taken care of yourself first.

The concept of remembering to attend to one’s own needs is captured by the term self-care. It was coined by and remains a pillar of the work that mental health professionals do every day. There are countless resources that uphold the importance of the practice as well as provide resources in its pursuit. If you are unsure of where to start, I recommend an interactive self-care flowchart by Jace Harr entitled, “You feel Like Shit: An Interactive Self-Care Guide”. It walks the user through his or her needs, beginning with the most basic. As the landing page asserts, it is designed “for people who struggle with self-care, executive dysfunction, and/or who have trouble reading internal signals”.[2] It is a simple, straightforward, and effective first step at attending to yourself when you are not feeling your best.

They meditate.

This may seem trivial to many people, especially given the number of things vying for our attention these days. However, successful people always make time to meditate. What they do during this quiet time varies by personal preference and time of day. If it is the end of a busy day, they might take time to reflect on their goals as well as the day that has passed: their achievements and failures, the status of their personal relationships and their spirituality. The successful people who do this understand that when so much is going on that you do not have time to reflect, it is easy to miss out on the lessons. Since they are continually seeking ways to improve themselves, they take time to reflect on their strengths and areas for growth. If they are feeling particularly drained or negative, they might use the quiet time for positive self-talk. Other times, if they are feeling particularly stressed or overworked, they might choose to focus on their breath and enjoy ten minutes of not thinking at all.

If you are interested in starting a practice but unsure of where to begin, there are many support out there for you, beginning with the mogul Oprah Winfrey. She is a huge proponent of meditation, stating that it has shifted her life in ways that she never imagined. She is such a firm believer in the practice that she has instituted period of “Quiet Time” twice a day in her network offices.[3] For those who do not work for Oprah, she has collaborated with spiritual guide Deepak Chopra to create a number of free 21-day guided meditations. There are others with free meditations available, including Tara Brach. If you prefer music or silence, there are free apps available that help you to time and keep track of your meditation sessions.

 

While there is no script that successful people follow, there are traits that are common amongst them. If you are seeking practices that will give you a boost in your productivity and overall success in life, consider the importance of goal setting, self-care, and meditation. Make each of these practices a pattern of behaviour and you will surely be on the road to success.

Wheeler del Torro (http://ift.tt/LfD2Mm) is a nutritional anthropologist and author. His most recent book, Boss Up!, provides a step-by-step guide to creating a powerful executive presence in order to be perceived as a leader and reap the benefits that go along with it. When he is not researching, lecturing, or hosting popups, Wheeler is out setting the next culinary trend.

 

[1] Bulygo, Zach. (n.d.) “Business lessons from American Express CEO Ken Chenault”. Kissmetrics Blog. Retrieved on 23 December 2016 from http://ift.tt/2jlygow

[2] Jace Herr. http://ift.tt/1h50SQg

[3] Interview with Oprah Winfrey. Facebook Live stream. http://ift.tt/2juHnU8

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Seven Mantras to Lift Your Love Life

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You’re reading Seven Mantras to Lift Your Love Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you are feeling disconnected, lonely, frustrated or hopeless about love then perhaps you are in need of a little love boost. Love boosts are little things you can do to activate the love which exists inside of you. Reciting mantras is one of the ways to do this. You see without this activation love can appear absent, dull, hopeless, temporary and in some cases hurtful. This gives the impression that love is a risk. Here is the thing, love never left you left love.

You see doubting love is no different than being uncertain about yourself. Love is present within you and around you every second of the day, even if you cannot feel it. This is because love is a high vibrational frequency of energy. It is energy in motion. The fear, worry or sadness you may be carrying about love is really love which has been suppressed, ignored or resisted in you. I know this may seem crazy, but the fear in you is really an unconscious desire to be connected to love.

Mantras are one way to help you rebuild those love connections. Mantras are sounds, syllables, words and phrases which are repeated over a long period of time (e.g. forty days). They elevate the energy within you and around you. When practiced over time, they literally give you a love (energy) boost, lifting your fearful vibrations by moving energy at a higher frequency closer to love.

Before reciting a mantra, it is important to keep in mind, mantras are not something you do but rather an energy you connect to. As you develop this practice you will naturally strengthen your connection to love. This puts less pressure on your current and potential partners. Rather than have the relationship be the supplier of the love you yearn for, instead you show up ready to share this vibration. Some of the ways the love vibration gets shared is through listening, forgiveness and patience.

To get started, I suggest you select one of the mantras below. Pick the one you are most drawn to. Work with this mantra for forty days, reciting it 10-30 times daily. The mantras must be stated out loud (even if it is a whisper), in a row, preferably in a quiet space. At the end of your practice, pause and receive the energy you are creating (love) by taking a long inhale, and long exhale. Let go of all expectations, reminding yourself this is a tool for boosting the love you already have.

 

  1. Now that I am fully and completely connected to love everything I desire is in motion.
  2. Let love flow.
  3. I am infinitely connected to love.
  4. I am generously receiving love now, thank you.
  5. Love pulsates through me now.
  6. I am love.
  7. I am open and ready to receive love.

Sherianna Boyle is the author of six books the most recent being Mantras Made Easy, Choosing Love, The Four Gifts of Anxiety and The Conscious Parenting Guide to Childhood Anxiety. She is an adjunct Psychology Professor, seasoned yoga instructor and Quantum Healing practioner. Her resources can be found at http://ift.tt/1ABx6Ix.

You’ve read Seven Mantras to Lift Your Love Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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7 Things You Should Stop Doing If You Have Anxiety

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You’re reading 7 Things You Should Stop Doing If You Have Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Are you someone who’s easily overwhelmed about the most trivial things? Do you feel anxious so much that you lay awake most nights with thoughts that make you stressed? One of the many reasons why anxiety is hard to cure is because most people suffering from it engage in things that make it worse. Listed below are the common issues that usually aggravate anxiety.

1. Keeping Your Anxiety a Secret

It might feel shameful for you to let people know that you’re suffering from anxiety. You may fear that they’d start avoiding you or treat you unfairly because of it. But the one mistake of people suffering from anxiety is being dishonest about it.

You don’t have to tell the world right now, but the closest people you know, or the ones you spend time with every day is a good start. This will help them understand you, and help you overcome your anxiety.

2. Isolating Yourself

“I feel much better alone, I don’t need anyone else”. Anxious people often distance themselves from other people. And this is very unhealthy. Solitude is good once in a while but too much and it can lead to depression. The thing is: familiarity increases anxiety. The more you stay in the “safe zone”, the more you get anxious when new things come your way.

According to Brianna West, founder of Soul Anatomy, “anxiety is being disconnected from the present moment, other people, or yourself. It is the warning sign that we’re too much in the past or the future so much that it affects the choices we make in the present.”

So stop spending too much time alone. Start doing something different, get out of your comfort zone, and start connecting or reconnecting with the people you have in your life.

3. Validating Your Fears

Imagine if you’re the type of person who gets anxious about traveling by airplanes. You’ll worry about your life so much that you’ll look up death rates for plane accidents. Or if you’re scared of dogs, you’ll read stories about cases of people who got killed by their own pet dogs.

Validating fears is commonly done by people who are anxious about their health. They research to validate their symptoms and worry that they may have a rare disease. Unfortunately, this behavior is not helpful, as it causes more anxiety. And the more you get anxious, the more your anxiety becomes harder to cure.

What you should do is realize that fear is normal and that it’s also liberating. We are all designed to feel fear. But to conquer our fear takes time, and it should be done so with love and understanding for yourself.

4. Lying to Yourself

The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. People like to cover up truths because it doesn’t sound pretty. Or because it hurts. One of the causes of anxiety is contradiction with ourselves. By lying to yourself, you’re masquerading the truth with lies that hurt other people. Lies that make you create an expectation of yourself that maybe you can’t even achieve. That’s what’s going to make you more anxious. If you want to feel freer, you must accept yourself as you are.

5. Having a Poor Diet

We know how media, especially television, can have a huge influence on our preferences when it comes to the ideal body type. It has affected us so much that most of us feel anxious when we gain weight so we consume much less food than we should. Anxiety can alter digestion and water intake in our intestine which affects how food is transported through our digestive tract. This leads to poor bowel movement, blood in stools, and even diarrhea.

6. Pleasing Everyone

Many people suffering from anxiety have an inclination to people-please. These people want to be agreeable and likable to everyone they meet — and may feel hurt or worried if other people won’t like them. Sometimes they go to great lengths to sacrifice their own needs, both emotionally and physically. And become anxious and guilty if they let down someone.

7. Trying to Be Perfect

Someone who feels too scared of being rejected, or too worried to say something wrong will always feel anxious. Instead of trying so hard to do well and creating pressure on yourself, give yourself the permission to look bad. Allow yourself to be imperfect. Don’t feel too worried to violate any invisible social rules. It’s not the end of the world if nobody laughed at your joke or if you made an awkward comment.

Closing Thoughts

Fighting anxiety is a tough battle. I should know, I’ve been suffering from it for more than 22 years now. But in all these years, I’ve learned that anxiety isn’t something to be tolerated, it has to be cured. And the only way you can do is it by surrounding yourself with love and friendship from people who matter most to you. So don’t let anxiety ruin your life. Learn to form connections, find peace, and be yourself in any social situation.

Armela Escalona is a content editor at scoopfed.com. She writes motivational articles about work, health and college life. Stay connected with her through her LinkedIn Account.

You’ve read 7 Things You Should Stop Doing If You Have Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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The 5 Best Podcasts on Balance

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You’re reading The 5 Best Podcasts on Balance, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to fall off a balance beam, requires a similar type of focus that is needed to achieve balance in our work, relationships, health and well being. The key is not view balance as yet another task to check off our wellness list, but to wholly incorporate it in every aspect of our life’s never-ending list of choices. These podcasts stress the importance of discovering the psychological reasons why we need balance in our lives and how this one factor can change our lives permanently, for the better.

  1. This unconventional podcast interviews ex minor league baseball player turned design entrepreneur, Ben Jenkins. His ideas posit that when contemplating how to create more balance in the life-work arena, one must never start with all your thoughts and ideas at the table, but instead allow for them to present themselves in the process of achieving balance. To effectively create your life’s aesthetic at your own pace and trust your instincts is at the core of a balanced life-work relationship.

http://ift.tt/2ivSsHn

  1. “All the research shows that every decision you make depletes energy from your brain that can be put to better use.’ This quote by Kory Kogon sums up this podcast quite succinctly. We all strive to achieve productivity in our work life, but at what cost? Kory suggests that in order to achieve truly extraordinary productivity there are actions one can take, such a fueling your fire so you don’t burnout (never forget to put yourself and your mental and physical health first), and not being reactionary to urgent things, and instead handling them with focused action.

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  1. In this podcast, they concentrate on finding a sustainable action plan for achieving balance in your work life. The advice here is to work by an 80/20% rule. Meaning, you really only attempt to achieve 20% of the most important tasks for that particular month, the releasing of the stress to attain the whole 100% does wonders for us to focus and free out time to be the most productive. Always ask yourself ‘what do I want my lifestyle to look like’, as opposed to ‘how profitable can I be’.

http://ift.tt/1CvSRwM

  1. “Even Eagles need a push.” This inspiring podcast interviews single mother, and former homeless, now successful entrepreneur Elayna Hernandez, as she shares her story and her ideas about how to overcome hardships and move forward out of a victim mentality and into a reality of owning your life. She is moved by her purpose of gratitude toward her most cherished gift, her children. Once she began to live in acceptance of her circumstances, she then began to discover balance was about changing her perception of herself and choosing to focus on what she could attain positively, step by step.

http://ift.tt/2jiPseG

  1. This podcast is particularly interesting as it tackles the idea that we take on to much in our lives. In order to find true balance, we must de-clutter our minds and our lives by doing less. There is a feeling in society that if we are not overwhelmed or exhausted, we have no personal value and significance. It is a great myth to think that we can do it all, we are not meant to live with this kind of stress and something will break if you do not choose what to focus on. It’s unrealistic to accommodate all of the commitments life presents you. Be intentional in your actions.

http://ift.tt/2ivWsrD

Gaining more control over our lives by choosing to prioritize our tasks according to what reduces stress, is the most practical way to attain equilibrium. However, this cannot be reached without first discovering what balance means to us personally in terms of our mental and emotional wellbeing. Creating balance can help us live our lives with meaning and purpose, and this is the greatest result of a well balanced life.

Do you read a great blog about balance that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!

Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

You’ve read The 5 Best Podcasts on Balance, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Top 10 Healthy Foods That Fight Stress

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You’re reading Top 10 Healthy Foods That Fight Stress, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Nowadays, many people suffer from stress due to busy lifestyles. In fact, too much stress may cause a lot of side effects on the mood, behavior, and body. It may even result in short-term and long-term physical issues such as impaired learning ability, impaired memory, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, a weak immune system, and coronary heart disease. Keeping a healthy lifestyle and having a proper diet will help to control stress. In addition, there are also some specific types of food that can aid in fighting stress. Continue reading this post to check them out!

1. Blueberries

The antioxidants present in blueberries are very effective in reducing stress levels. Blueberries also have vitamins E and C and essential minerals such as manganese and magnesium, which can help to relieve stress. Regular consumption of blueberries can also aid in dealing with insomnia, depression, and some other mood disorders that are considered as a result of stress. You may also eat blueberries as a snack or include them in a fruit salad or cottage cheese. Apart from blueberries, you can also eat cranberries to help to control stress.

2. Milk

People who often drink milk are less stressed. A glass of skim milk gives your body a good amount of calcium, protein, antioxidants, and vitamins A and D. These nutrients aid you in calming down and fighting free radicals released in your body whenever you are stressed. For a stress-busting breakfast, opt for a bowl of cereal made from whole grain with a glass of low-fat milk. In addition, consume a glass of lukewarm milk before going to sleep to have a sound sleep. If you are not a fan of milk, switch to consume milk products such as yogurt and cottage cheese.

3. Dark Chocolate

According to a clinical trial of Proteome Research in the Journal of American Chemical Society, eating about 1.5 ounces of dark chocolate every day can reduce the stress hormone levels in the body significantly. Dark chocolate is comprised of magnesium, a mineral that aids in fighting stress, depression, fatigue, and irritability. When you are stressed, eat dark chocolate to boost up your mood and reduce the stress level. Another option, you may also drink a glass of warm chocolate milk or other types of dessert that contains dark chocolate.

4. Salmon

Being a cold water fish, salmon is high in omega-3 fatty acids and contains strong anti-inflammatory properties. Omega-3 fatty acids aid in boosting up brain chemicals such as serotonin that is very effective in maintaining a happy mood and regulating stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. In addition, omega-3 fatty acids also help your brain to function more efficiently. It is recommended eating just 2 or 3 servings of salmon a week. Apart from salmon, you may also eat tuna, mackerel, and sardines. Or, you may take supplements of omega-3 fatty acids daily after consulting your doctor.

5. Avocados

Avocados are rich in protein, minerals, and vitamin E and C. They also contain potassium, fiber, and healthy fat. These nutrients are helpful in regulating stress hormones by keeping the nerves & brain cells healthy. Consuming an avocado per day can significantly reduce the blood pressure levels and the stress hormone levels. You may also add avocado to your favorite smoothie or fruit salad. To get the best results, consume fresh avocado instead of eating the packaged ones.

6. Green Tea

Green tea is loaded with powerful antioxidants, including polyphenols, catechins, and flavonoids. These antioxidants contain a calming effect on your body & mind, which can help to give you a positive mood. In addition, it also has an amino acid named theanine that helps to promote relaxation and improve the attention and focus.

A study in an American journal indicated that people who consumed at least 5 cups of this tea a day have better mood and health compared to people who consumed less than 1 cup a day.

When you feel stress, enjoy one cup of green tea immediately. However, 5 cups a day cannot be suitable for some people. So, you can drink 2 to 3 cups of green tea per day.

If you are not a fan of green tea, choose black tea. The positive effect of green tea will be best in people who don’t drink alcohol and smoke.

7. Oranges

The high content of vitamin C in oranges helps to boost up your immune system. In addition, it is also a natural antioxidant that can fight free radicals. Oranges also contain significant amounts of vitamin A and a lot of healthy minerals.

To reap the benefits of these nutrients in oranges, simply consume one glass of orange juice per day. You may also add oranges to your desserts and other baked goods. Apart from oranges, you may also consume other citrus fruits.

8. Almonds

Almonds are high in magnesium, selenium, zinc, healthy oils, and vitamins B and E that offer stress-busting benefits. In addition, they are crunchy and thus help to diffuse tension.

You may eat raw or roasted almonds as a healthy snack. Or, you may also add almonds to desserts & baked goods. Apart from almonds, you may eat pistachios and walnuts to reduce the stress hormones, lower blood pressure, and boost up your energy level.

9. Spinach

Spinach that belongs to the dark green vegetables is rich in vitamins A, B, and C. Spinach also has a good amount of essential minerals such as calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, and potassium that help to reduce stress hormones in your body and stabilize your mood.

A cup of spinach per day can give your body the relaxing, calming effects. Or, you may also add spinach to your omelet, sandwich, salad, or wrap.

10. Brown Rice

Brown rice is comprised of B vitamins, which are very important for maintaining tissues, cells, and organs. They act as a natural mood stabilizer and also aid in biochemical reactions linked to brain functioning, immunity, healthy red blood cells, and cardiac functioning. When your body gets enough amounts of B vitamins, it is better for you to fight stress and other mood disorders. If you feel moody or irritable in the next time, consume brown rice products to help you feel better.

To sum up, the stress-busting foods are loaded with nutrients that may regulate stress hormones and aid you in having a life free of stress.

This guest post is by Nga Do, a beauty and health blogger with many years of experience on searching the effective remedies for skin & hair care and health problems.

You’ve read Top 10 Healthy Foods That Fight Stress, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How to Use Fear to Destroy Laziness

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You’re reading How to Use Fear to Destroy Laziness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s the start of the New Year, and we want to reach our full potential. Yet, its so easy to be lazy. We live in an age with the highest amount of distractions – with so many options for entertainment e.g. Seasons of Game of Thrones. We have so much information flowing into our minds on a daily basis through advertising, work, and what we hear through our social circle.

With all that going on, it’s easy to lose touch with what we should be doing with our time. Unless we really know what’s important to us, we can fall into excessive patterns of: watching T.V, surfing the web, socializing to an extreme – all to fill in the hole of emptiness we feel when we don’t keep ourselves distracted.

That feeling of discomfort when you go to bed, that extra sleep in the morning – it’s often all partly related to not doing the things you know you should be doing. Whether that’s: studying that subject you used to be excited about, writing that book, consistently working out, building a business, creating videos, learning from other people, playing your favorite sport, teaching something you’re passionate about, reading books, gaining new experiences, travelling, or else.

Without a strategy on how you’re going to spend your time, you can live many years without reaching your full potential – not doing the things you truly want to do. Unless you bring what you want to the forefront of your mind, and then do those things, you will fail in achieving a consistent baseline of positive emotions. Yet, you might not even realize it until a year or two has passed by.

For many of us, so little time is invested in improving ourselves, expressing ourselves, and creating. Too much time is spent absorbing content, replaying our past, worrying about the future, all while we lament our lifestyles, and take little action to change our realities.

Let’s describe the story of someone called ‘Jimmy’. The way to become the best version of you, is to firstly understand how to be the worst version of yourself.

The Story of ‘Jimmy’

If you looked at his life beginning from the 1st January to the 31st December, you would see little variety in Jimmy’s days. He never travels. Never skips town. He hangs around with the same people, who are also in the same life situation as him. Stuck. Unwilling to push himself out of his comfort zone, he subconsciously reasons that it’s okay since others are the same.

He sleeps and wakes up at different times everyday. The result is a messed up sleeping cycle that acts as the foundation for his life. To add to that, he works in a dead-end job that sucks most of his precious energy.

The cycle repeats itself weekly.

He never reads any books, he simply has no interest in expanding his knowledge or delving into stories. He is completely self-absorbed in the mental masturbation of his mind. He worries, frets and is always pondering. But perhaps he shares a joke or two with one or two friends every now and then.

Yet he rarely pauses to simply breathe.

There’s a lack of inspiration for betterment in his life and the cause of this is deeply rooted in taking life for granted. He fails to see the brilliance and wonder of the world. He never fully seizes the day. His life is marred by the attainment for short term pleasure. He saves very little of his money and instead splurges it on fast food, ice cream, desserts, cigarettes, and alcohol.

He has no long term direction, it’s simply not in his paradigm of thought. He fails to see how his present is influencing his future.

He doesn’t really know what he wants from life.

His past is a daze and he never tries to learn or embody any lessons from his experiences. He spends lavishly on the things that don’t matter, little on the things that do. His home is cluttered, and messy – just like his mind.

He doesn’t exercise, and his body is tight and tense. As a result, all his family, friends, and the world don’t benefit from the extraordinary person he could become. In short, he is selfish and he doesn’t even realize it.

Maybe you partly relate with the story of ‘Jimmy’. I know I do and I only tell this story because we’re often motivated by the extreme bell-end curve of being positive. We rarely think about the ramifications of not living meaningfully. This may be an extreme example, but it’s a useful one.

Fear, just like any emotion, isn’t inherently bad or good. It can be used to our advantage, and by remembering the sentiment behind this story, we can use it to fuel us to lead better lives on the occasions where we’re not being perhaps inspired by love.

Your Challenge

The biggest challenge we face is having the courage to make changes.

Let’s learn we find meaningful, and which days we’ll dedicate to those activities. Let’s develop daily habits that help us feel terrific each day. Let’s experiment with different things we find fascinating.

An inability to identify the unique factors that lead to a meaningful and fulfilling life, is responsible for creating unhappy men and women all around the world. But by having an allegiance to making positive changes and using your time wisely, you will be well on your way to lead a meaningful, fulfilling life – no matter what difficulties life throws at you.

If you’re interested in mastering your habits in the New Year, read my free guide. Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • First, You’ll find out how to split up your day into four chunks, so you’ll worry less about external influences.
  • Second, You’ll discover how to consistently celebrate your small wins, so that you feel more creative and enthusiastic each day.
  • Third, I’ll show you the small productivity hacks that will take your output to the next level.

 Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about unique ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Guide explores ways people can make success easier.

You’ve read How to Use Fear to Destroy Laziness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How to Cultivate a Year of Mindfulness

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By Leo Babauta

In 2016, I practiced mindfulness more than I ever have before, after 10 years of sporadic practice.

I meditated regularly, practiced with a local Zen group, did a great one-day sitting, went on a retreat, took courses, read books, practiced mindful eating and exercise, learned some great new practices, and taught several mindfulness courses.

I learned a lot about how to cultivate a more mindful life, and I’d like to encourage you to try it this year.

Why? A few good reasons:

  • You learn to be awake to the present moment more, and lost in the daydream of your thoughts less.
  • You begin to see your mental patterns that affect everything you do, and thus begin to free yourself of those patterns.
  • You learn to be frustrated less, and let go more. And smile more.
  • You learn to be better at compassion, equanimity, love, contentment.
  • You learn to be better at not procrastinating, and better at building better habits.

I could go on about better mental and physical health, better relationships, less fear … but the reasons I’ve given are strong enough. It’s important stuff.

So how do we cultivate a year of mindfulness? I’m glad you asked.

Tips for Cultivating Mindfulness

I’m just going to dive in and share my favorite tips for creating a year of mindfulness:

  1. Commit to sitting daily for a month. It would be great to commit to a year of sitting meditation practice, but I think that’s too long for the brain to commit to. So I recommend trying to sit everyday for a month. Tell people about it, set reminders on your phone and calendar, put a note somewhere you won’t miss it, and keep the meditation short — just 2-5 minutes to start with, until you become more regular. This is the foundational practice for being more mindful, so make a big commitment to sitting.
  2. Find a group. If you can find a meditation group in your area to sit with once a week, that’s ideal. It doesn’t matter much what kind of group it is (Zen, Tibetan, Vipassana, etc.), just meet with them and meditate however you like when you’re on the cushion. If you can’t find a group in your area, find a group that meets online (San Francisco Zen Center has an online practice group, for example). This commitment to a group deepens the practice.
  3. Practice mindful eating. I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t practice this as much as I should. But it’s a good example of how you can take something you already do every day, and use it as a meditation. Simply commit to doing nothing but eating — single-task instead of multitasking. As you eat each bite, pay attention to the food, the textures and flavors and colors. Notice when your mind wanders. Savor the food. Showering, brushing your teeth, washing your dishes, walking and sweeping are other good activities to use as meditation.
  4. Take a course. This is a bit self-promotional, but I’m offering mindfulness courses in my Sea Change Program. However, you can take any online or in-person course, free or paid — I find that they force you to practice and reflect on your practice, so that your learning deepens even further.
  5. Find a teacher or partner. I am lucky to have a teacher who I meet with every couple months … I find that just knowing that I’m going to be talking to her means that I’ll try harder to learn, remind myself a bit more, reflect on my learning more so that I have something to talk to her about. If you can’t find a teacher, a learning partner can function the same way.
  6. Watch your frustration. When you get irritated, frustrated or angry … let it be a mindfulness bell! It is a great opportunity to drop out of your story, and notice how your body is feeling. What got you hooked? What story are you telling yourself? What is your mental pattern when you get hooked? What is the physical feeling in your body at this moment? Practice as much as you can!
  7. Read a good mindfulness book. You learn mindfulness by practicing, but a good book can guide your practice. I recommend checking out my recently published Zen Habits Beginner’s Guide to Mindfulness, and I also like Mindfulness in Plain English.
  8. Practice yoga or mindful movement. Yoga is moving meditation, and I highly recommend it. If you aren’t drawn to yoga, try walking or running or doing other exercise while trying to pay mindful attention to your body and breath. Either way, see it as an opportunity to meditate as you move.
  9. Sit with procrastination & fear. Whenever you start to procrastinate or run to distraction, there is fear at the root of your urge. Instead of running, sit with it. Notice the fear or resistance. Stay with this feeling, become intimate with it, be friendly towards it, smile at it. Stay, stay, until it dissolves.
  10. Journal & review regularly. The best learning is deepened by reflecting what you’ve been learning about, reflecting on your obstacles and challenges, reflecting on what works and what doesn’t. You evolve your learning through reflecting. Journaling is a great tool for that — it helps you reflect in a mindful way. Journal daily, weekly, or monthly, reviewing what you did the previous day (or week or month) and what you learned from it, and what your intentions are in the coming day, week or month.

That might seem like a lot of things to do, but you don’t have to do them all at once! Nor do you have to be “perfect” at this (perfection doesn’t exist). Just try one or two things, try another couple things later, and explore with no real desitation or outcome in mind. Play with these practices and tools. See what happens.

Challenge: A Month of Mindfulness

To start your year of mindfulness, I challenge you to do a full 30 days of mindfulness, starting today. That means meditating every day, for at least a few minutes (start small), and trying to incorporate mindfulness practices in your life in small ways.

Are you up to the challenge? If so, commit to it by announcing it to your loved ones, on social media, or emailing your friends. It’ll be an amazing way to start this year.

If you’d like to go deeper with mindfulness, sign up for my Sea Change Program. We’re doing a Month of Mindfulness in January, and I’ve issued the same mindfulness challenge to my members (we check in once a week). Don’t worry if you’re starting mid-month … it doesn’t matter. Go on your own schedule, let go of the idea of perfection.

Join us in Sea Change today!

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How You Can Save Your Own Life Through Therapy

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You’re reading How You Can Save Your Own Life Through Therapy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

-Blaise Pascal

A Difficult Road, Often Traveled

Feel cut off from your instincts, disconnected from yourself, suffering great pain?
Wish you could have productive conversations with yourself?

SEEK help…see a therapist!

The first time I saw a therapist, I went because I had problems that I just couldn’t solve myself.

I burst into tears in that first session, and that wonderful therapist said, “Lars, that’s a vote for you.”

Going was the easy part.

The harder part? Continuing. But, I persevered because I was at war with myself, and that internal violence was killing me.

The State of the Patient

Patients have one thing in common. They are fragmented.

An effective therapist doesn’t put the patient back together but provides a presence that facilitates the patient putting himself or herself back together. You GO to therapy as human doing, but you experience therapy as human being.

A Unique Conversation

After I described my feelings, that same wonderful therapist also said:
“That sounds like a conversation between you and you.”

Her active presence, our relationship, and our unique work together helped me put myself back together.

The Therapist’s Function? The Role of a Lifetime

A therapist stands in for the strong part of you until you’re ready to reclaim that role or take it for the first time.
If your parents weren’t THERE for you emotionally, you didn’t develop your own self-advocate providing internal kindness and compassion, the nourishing you’d provide to a loved one or a best friend.
Without the right parenting, you will bend over backward NOT to provide compassion to yourself. Even with the best parenting, sometimes a traumatic disrupts your normally internal advocacy.
Your lack of internal security at some point can break you apart if you aren’t THERE for yourself.

Crisis: Danger and Opportunity

The Chinese character for crisis means both “danger” and “opportunity”. In a crisis, when old habits no longer no longer “defend” you (and not in a good way), and you’re at a loss, that crisis provides something remarkable: Opportunity.

The best part of what drove me to therapy, as for most people, was a readiness to grow. My resistance made the entire process more difficult, yet that very resistance provided an opportunity. A good therapeutic relationship exploits that opportunity for your best benefit.

Mediation Like No Other

No mediation is as important as that needed to bridge the gap between different parts of yourself. After all, who’s with you 24 hours a day? Can you afford NOT to have the best relationship possible with YOURSELF?

If the parts of you not only disagree, but, in the process, insult, frustrate, anger, and criticize each other, your inner life is on quick route to train wreck. A therapeutic relationship that works provides a kind of inner mediation that puts you on the road, however long, for a lifetime’s growth and healing.

The Possibility of Peace

Here’s the best part. Learning to trust your therapist brings you “shalom”, the peace of “wholeness”. Why? Because once you trust the person who is simply an emotional surrogate for your healthiest self, you can begin to trust yourself.

That self-trust allows you to be in charge of your own life, but in a new place, a place that the stuck and stultified person you were couldn’t have found without this painful, yet fertile evolution. The therapist is a selectively vocal, yet predominantly silent partner whose support for you seeps into your soul so that support for yourself from yourself becomes more pervasive, more habitual.

Don’t get scared off by the mistaken notion that we all rise or fall separately. Your family may have nothing but contempt for therapists, deeming patients “weak”, but, the healthiest member of a family is often the one who seeks and continues therapy as long as necessary.

Take courage, seek a guide in the rough waters of your fragmented self, and know that, if you can unflinchingly and fully feel the pain and complete recognition of yourself, you will then be able to feel the joy and self-trust that otherwise would be unavailable.

Best of all, you will be able to kill that Buddha at the side of the road, accountable for your own life in the ultimate sense. And, despite the title of this post, with your work with a therapist, YOU will have saved YOUR OWN life.

Lars Nielsen is a free-lance copywriter whose unique and image-rich selling voice combines the narrative power of his poetry, playwriting, fiction, radio, liturgy, and comedy. Go to http://ift.tt/2aI2xgg and see how storytelling and scenarios can successfully reframe the narrative of your business, speeches, ideas, and your life.

You’ve read How You Can Save Your Own Life Through Therapy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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10 Simple Ways to Start Your 2017 Off on the Right Foot

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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
Marcus Aurelius

“So many fail because they don’t get started – they don’t go. They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.”
W. Clement Stone

A start in the form of just one small step can take you further than you might have dreamed. No matter if we’re talking careers, relationships, a habit or an actual journey somewhere in the world.

And a good start to your morning can set the tone for your whole day and greatly help you to make it a good or even great one.

But we can also expand our perspective. Zoom out and see a whole new year in front of us.

How can you start your 2017 off on the right foot and set a good or great tone for the year?

Here are 10 of my simple and favorite tips – that I plan to focus on during this year – for doing just that.

1. Keep things simple.

This year, keep things simple.

And get back to the basics that you may already know work well for you but have for some reason fallen by the wayside during last year.

  • Stop trying to come up with the perfect plan before you get started. Instead, come up with a good plan and then take action on it. You can always readjust along the way towards your goal. And it’s a whole better with a good plan that you actually take action on than a perfect one that you just keep polishing for weeks, months or years.
  • Focus on what matters the most – the tasks and steps forward – first thing in your day and if possible first thing in your week (when you are likely most rested and clearheaded).
  • Do just one thing at a time to do the best and most focused job you can. No matter if it’s at work, in school or in your personal life. Trying to do several things at once usually just leads to mediocre results or half-finished jobs.

2. Reduce the distractions.

Distractions are all around us and it’s so easy to get swept away by them and get stuck in not very important busy work or in procrastination.

So remember to reduce them to protect more valuable time, energy and focus during your day and week.

A few ways that I’ll be doing that during 2017 are:

  • Put my smart phone in silent mode while I work. And then put it at the other side of our home and only check it 1-2 times during my work day.
  • Take 5-10 minutes to go through my inbox and reduce the recurring emails that I haven’t read or gotten something good out of in the past 30 days. Doing such a cleanup and unsubscribing to various email lists can make a big difference throughout the year.
  • Keep a reminder – just below my computer screen – that I see every day of what the current month’s biggest and most important goal or focus is. So that I stay on track consistently and get what truly matters done step by step.

3. Replace one negative influence with a positive one.

What we let into our minds can have a big effect on what we think, feel and on what we do or not do.

So be careful about what influences you let into your mind on a daily or weekly basis.

A simple way to improve this area of your life is to ask yourself this question:

What is the biggest negative influence in my life right now?

You may for example find that it’s a person in your life that is very negative or drags your life down. Or a website, online forum or other media source that impacts you negatively and may make you feel worse about yourself and put a lot of pessimism about life into your mind.

Now, ask yourself:

What’s one person or other source that lifts me up, adds energy and that I want to spend more time with this year?

When you have an answer then follow up with this question:

What action can I take today and over the coming week to make a change in my reality and spend less time with the negative influence and more time with positive one?

Think about it and come up a small action plan – maybe just 1-3 steps – that you can take action on. This can have a huge impact on your year.

4. Get regular exercise.

During the last few days of 2016 I got started with a 30 day challenge of working out every day – on some days that means lifting heavy weights, on others a walk in the wintery landscape – and I’m half-way through it now.

The focus of this challenge for me is not so much about getting stronger or faster but about the mental benefits.

Because one of the simplest ways to more easily think optimistic thoughts, remain focused for a longer time, be more decisive and to reduce stress and inner tensions is in my experience to get regular exercise.

Besides the mental benefits the aim is also to make the exercise such a natural habit for me that I don’t skip out on it even if I have a setback in life or a tough day or week (this is something I’ve sometimes done in the past).

5. Accept what is.

If you’re, for instance, honestly not in the physical shape you were a couple of years ago then accept that this is what is now. Don’t deflect or try to push it away. Then it only persists, it takes up much of your attention and time and it can cause anxiety, worry or other negative emotions or behavior.

And this isn’t just about your fitness level but can be applied to any negative situation in one of your relationships, at work or in school or with money or your home.

If you’re in a negative situation then accept it first. That will give you clarity and you’ll be able to direct all your mental energy towards making a change about what is in your life.

6. Take daily breaks to reboot your mind.

My favorite time during the work week is the mornings. My mind is rested and empty. Thinking clearly is most often quite easy.

It feels like a new and fresh start.

But as the day passes the mind tends to fill up with events, thoughts and feelings.

It becomes tired and thinking clearly becomes less easy.

Here’s what I do when that happens.

  • I sit down in a comfy chair or couch. I close my eyes. I breathe through my nose.
  • I make sure that I’m breathing with my belly and not my chest.
  • Then I just relax my body for about 2 minutes and focus only on the air going in and out.
  • After those 2 minutes are up I open my eyes.

And my mind feels clearer again, usually like it does early in the mornings (or something at least close to that). I’m back in the present moment instead of lost in mental cobwebs.

It’s like I have rebooted and refreshed my mind and then the rest of the afternoon goes smoother, with less stress, inner tensions and a sharper focus once again.

7. Ask yourself questions that set you free.

One of the most common habits that drag us down and hold us back in life is in my opinion that we ask questions that aren’t so helpful. Questions that zap your personal power and add pessimism and victim thinking.

So ask yourself better questions. The ones that open up your mind to possibilities and set you free to do what you deep down want.

If, for example, fear is holding you back from doing something ask yourself:

What’s the worst that could realistically happen?

Then make a small plan for how you could bounce back from that worst thing if it were to happen to find clarity and to reduce your vague fear.

If you dream of having or doing something but always think it’s something you just have to wait for maybe for a couple of years or a decade then question that assumption by asking yourself:

How can I take one small step towards my dream not sometime in the future but today?

Quite often you’ll discover that you don’t actually have to wait to get started. If you want to write that book, go on your dream vacation or start a side business don’t let it stay a daydream by putting imaginary obstacles in your mind.

Instead, find a first small step you can take towards it and take action on it today.

8. Choose to do the opposite in one common situation in your life.

We all have negative patterns we repeat.

To start this year off on the right foot, choose to do the opposite compared to what you did in 2016 in a common situation in your life.

Choose to:

  • Just ignore or take the high-road with a person that usually makes you angry or irritated.
  • Find one thing you can learn from a setback instead of feeling sorry for yourself the whole day or week.
  • Eat some carrots or go exercise when you have a bad day if you usually go for eating unhealthy food to handle such a situation.

Make a choice that is contrary to negative pattern that you know you usually follow. Do it just one time. And start breaking your pattern.

9. Be kind to yourself when you stumble or fall.

As you work towards what you want this year there will likely be a setback or two in January or February.

It might be tempting to beat yourself up in these situations and to use that as motivation to do better the next time.

But that way of handling a mistake or failure is in my experience often counterproductive as it leads to lower self-esteem and self-confidence and sometimes to going down into a spiral of negative thoughts and inaction.

So I suggest being kind and constructive instead.

  • Zoom out. After you’ve stumbled remember that a failure does not make YOU a failure. The setback is only temporary. Just an event in your life. Not something that will last forever if you do something about it.
  • Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

10. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

I’ve found that I do a better job when I work if I also set off plenty of time in my week for guilt-free relaxation and just lazying around.

Because that – just like many parts of my work – makes me happy. It recharges me. It renews my creativity and helps me to clear my mind and let go of stress.

If I spend most of that time consciously. And not by just, for example, aimlessly watching TV-shows that are honestly just OK.

But by:

  • Spending time on walking in the woods or just lying in the grass and watching the clouds during the summertime.
  • Reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a movie or playing a game that’s exciting to me.
  • Spending time with people I really like spending time with.

I’ve learned that if I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I appreciate my life and recharging time more. And I’m also more motivated and energized to go back to work when it’s time for that.

So be careful so you don’t fall into the trap of treating yourself like a robot that’s always working at the start of this year and make time for conscious recharging time too. If you’re anything like me then it will benefit you in several ways.

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