You’re reading Why Your ‘I Am Good Enough’ Affirmations May Not Work, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You have a distinct feeling of discomfort within yourself and it’s having a negative impact on your life. You’ve used affirmations daily for weeks or even months to change the way you feel.

You’ve said them quietly and you’ve said them out loud. You’ve heard about others who’ve used them with great success—even healing themselves of ailments in certain cases. You’ve written your affirmations down and even plastered them all over your home so you can see them everyday.

Do you find yourself nodding to the above? Maybe you’ve experienced positive changes in your life as a result of using affirmations. If so, then you’re most definitely on the right track—good for you.

On the other hand, you might be feeling completely fed up and disillusioned instead. The problem is, despite doing it all, things haven’t changed for you.  Your attempts at using affirmations has had the opposite effect and you feel worse about yourself more than ever. If so, there’s likely to be a reason.

Why your affirmations may not be working

When it comes to affirmations, it’s very much about emotions as well—there needs to be some kind of agreement between what you say and how you feel when you say it. If you say your affirmation without backing that statement up with the right internal feeling, there is discord. When you have discord between what you say and the way you feel, the chances of that affirmation having any beneficial effect on you and your life decreases greatly.

Think about it for a moment, you want to feel good about yourself and let’s say, more comfortable in social settings. Most of the time you feel awkward, which leads to feelings of embarrassment.

You decide that you’re going to use affirmations to help you relax and get comfortable with who you are so you can be yourself. The problem is that if, when you state your chosen affirmation(s), you continue to feel bad, that affirmation is going to be absolutely useless to you.

Why? Because whilst you’re stating ‘I feel good about myself’ and ‘I’m comfortable being myself’ (or any other statement you choose to use), deep down you may be thinking something along the lines of ‘but, I don’t’, therefore, creating conflict.

You can try to deny that you’re affirmation  isn’t working in the hopes that it eventually will at some point, but it won’t make any difference. If you get a ‘yeah right’ or ‘I wish’ feeling, you’ll hardly be excited, inspired and moved enough to want to make changes that will get you the result you want.

If, however, you were to focus on how being at ease within yourself would make you feel and make up an affirmation based on that, then the chance of feeling any internal resistance is reduced to nothing.

The difference between ‘I feel good about myself’ and ‘the thought of feeling good about myself everyday makes me feel so ‘fill-in-the-blank’’ is huge. You’ll know it’s the right one for you if you feel some kind of sensation in your body.

If you are one of those people wanting to feel more comfortable within yourself, which one of those statements do you think you would be happier stating? When you say the second affirmation, it gives you an idea of how you would feel once you’re ‘there’.

In other words, it puts you in the right frame of mind and gets you more excited about what you need to do to feel more of what you’ve just felt. That way, when you start on your journey to feeling good in your own skin , obstacles won’t feel so much like Mount Everest and they will eventually be trampled on by the visions and thoughts you hold inside your head of how you want things to be.

When you use the right affirmation for your situation, it should cause feelings of excitement, joy and happiness and even make you smile. It should make you want to take action. So, the next time you use an affirmation, check for how comfortable – or uncomfortable – you feel. If it doesn’t make you feel good, don’t use it!

Using them in the right way will see you moving steadily towards your goal.

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Read more from the Confidence Haven on her blog!

You’ve read Why Your ‘I Am Good Enough’ Affirmations May Not Work, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 7 Motivation Principles to Help You Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The secret of motivation is that it begins between your ears. Motivation is like a puzzle and you have to see how the pieces fit together before you can get the full picture. How you view the world, beginning with your mind and attitude, will hinder or help you on the path to getting and staying motivated.

I can’t say this enough. Motivation does not come from external sources. On the contrary, it’s all driven from your internal resources. In my experience, some of the pieces to this puzzle can be found in the following life principles:

1. Change Your Attitude: Attitude is at the foundation of motivation. Success and even how you deal with failure and challenges will depend very much on your attitude, first and foremost. Everything that happens to you has to be viewed through a certain lens. That lens is either positive or negative attitude and motivation. A friend of mine was told years ago that he had less than a year to live. He spent the rest of his days focusing on the 10 percent chance the doctors had given him. His final days were positive.

2. Take Ownership: You own your life. No one else does. Your boss, your spouse, your job, etc. are not the owners of your life. No one can “make” you feel happy, sad, overwhelmed, motivated or whatever else. Only you can make yourself do that. It is you who wholly owns your life. You are where you are because of your own actions or inactions. When you assume ownership, it empowers you and gives you control. And, that control helps provide you motivation.

3. Erase “I Can’t” and the Excuses: When my daughter was young, I taught her early that she should not use the word “can’t.” To be motivated, you have to believe in your potential and opportunity. Saying, “I can’t make money,” or, “I can’t find a new job,” is defeatist. All you’re doing to yourself mentally is providing excuses. To recharge your motivation, erase the “I can’t” and dispose of the excuses. Life is not easy. We all have challenges, but your chances of success increase exponentially if you get out of your own way.

4. Get Off the Couch: Newton’s First Law of Motion is absolutely correct: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion. Motivation comes when you are moving forward. If you’re looking to get and stay motivated, you have to move. One of the easiest things you can do for yourself to help you nurture your motivation is to get out and connect with nature. Move. Exercise. If you live in a concrete jungle, then join a group and connect with others. But, whatever you do, don’t sit on the couch and watch the world pass by.

5. Commit: Motivation comes by committing to something. In other words, making a decision. And, when you’ve made the decision and the challenges arise, stay committed to what you decided to do. Anything worth having will become a challenge, which is always an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment. This is how we all grow as human beings. Commit to a decision, stay the course and you will see your motivation increase. 

6. Do the Work: Sustained motivation takes consistency and the only way to place fuel on the fire is to do the work. Big goals take time to achieve. It’s important to spend a little bit of time each and every day working on it–even if it’s only 15 minutes. A friend of mine is looking to begin his own business; however, he has to work at a job and cannot afford at this time to work on his own. He wakes up 2 hours before so he can work on his products and then when he returns from work at night he makes phone calls and has networking meetings. He does this every business day. 

7. Accept the Consequences: Finally, accepting responsibility for consequences is actually an opportunity to stay empowered and motivated. Again, you are the owner of your life and you have control. Take responsibilities for mistakes you’ve made along the way. This is an opportunity to learn and master your goals, with the mistakes that will occur along the way. And once you accept the consequences and learn from them, move on.

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Wayne Elsey is the founder and CEO of Elsey Enterprises (EE). Among his various independent brands, he is also the founder and CEO of Funds2Orgs, which is a social enterprise that enables nonprofits, individuals and organizations to raise funds while helping to support micro-enterprise opportunities in developing nations.

 

You’ve read 7 Motivation Principles to Help You Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Stop being Scared of Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Wherever you live in the world, you’re in a pursuit. Some of your pursuits are dear to you. Long-term hopes and fantasies that make you dream with starry eyes.

“Functionally, a man is somewhat like a bicycle. A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it’s moving forward toward something.” – Maxwell Maltz.

But maybe the prospect of achieving your goals, also makes you feel slightly uncertain. Other desires you have are a little emptier, perhaps more materialistic. They’re easier to have in the immediate future. Think of the new Macbook, the designer handbag or the new Fitbit.

Are you focusing on these items more than you need to (at the exclusion of your real goals)?

The visions that make you uncertain take the most work. But they’re also the ones worth most going for. They require some level of sacrifice that’s not just financial.

Examples include:
• Writing that book you’ve been dreaming about for years
• Participating in that talent show
• Getting out there and meeting the love of your life
• Finally getting that PhD
• Travelling the World

(Note: We can lose sight of our big picture goals easily. So, I have a special bonus. Read all the way to the end to get it.)

• The Obstacle you will Face

If you choose to step into your grandest ideas, you’re going to face your fear. It will snatch you from the bottom of your soul, and throw you into a cascading series of emotions. It will test you to see if you’re deserving of what you’re going after. You’re going to feel like you’re about to lose something.

It may be pride, ego money, or hope – or all of it. Some of us will undoubtedly run away at first sight of fear. Some of us will hide. Some of us might have to warm up to it before it warms up to us.

Fear is psychological pain, and it is that which makes it so irresistible to refute. It can make us freeze, or shake in our knees. It can make us shiver and cry… Fear, since the dawn of humanity, has been responsible for deterring some of the noblest dreams.

But it’s only by facing it, that we’re able to overcome it.

• What is Success?

Success has been connoted as anything from having a nice house to being content with living a minimal life. But the underlying similarity that lies between all definitions of success is: growth and contentment. Two seemingly paradoxical ideas. But they can work together.

If you’re not growing, in some way, you’re dying a little. If you’re not content, in some way, then you’ll feel unfulfilled.

Your success might make someone feel bad. The fact that you shine, might shine leave them to inspect their faults more closely. On the other side, thousands of people might be inspired by your light. If you experience growth, then by definition, you are successful. Success does not need to be this glittery self-aggrandizing event that makes others see how “special” you are.

The word ‘success’ is probably what made you click on this click-bait headline. And I’m glad it did, because you might now finally get closer to what you should be really pursuing.

Let me explain.

If you start to see your own sense of self-worth through the eyes of others, then you’ve fallen into a fake mirage of “success”. One that will paradoxically take you away from ‘self-contentment and growth’ – the two qualities are intrinsic to being successful.

You need to stop believing in this idea of becoming successful – it implies a destination. But being successful implies that you always have the choice each day. Do you choose to push yourself a little more in your craft? Do you focus your attention on what matters most? Do you prioritize your work?

Success means living true to yourself. Sure, you might receive the glittery things that come with serving the world with your gift i.e. the house, the fancy car, the trips. But realize that the new possessions you may have, the higher income, the new relationships – are not success.

They are the consequence of choosing to be successful, which means focusing on being true to yourself, and serving the world in the best way you can with that in mind.

• Ask yourself: How Would you Live if you only had Six months Left to Live?

Asking yourself this question puts your excuses to the side, till they no longer fit into your view. With no awareness of our death, your vision can become hazy – uncertainty creeps in. Facing it however, all your potential choices are more carefully inspected.
Your wishes and possibilities are examined under the stethoscope of life.

Clarity starts to seep into the edges of our reality until every right choice becomes more self-evident. Your feelings become secondary. You observe them with the awareness that like anything, they will pass with time. But let’s be real. Taking the risks needed to achieve your desires might not work out. You might get rejected; you might fall flat on our face, repeatedly

But the self-confidence you experience, due to having made a choice to step out of your comfort-zone, is what matters.

So ask yourself, what choices would you make, if you were going to die in the six months from this very date? Would you take the chance and move abroad? Even if you’re not too sure if it’s going to work out?

Would you take that trip you’ve been dreaming about? Even though you don’t know how it will pass?

You need to be okay with a little uncertainty. In fact, you should embrace it. Because if everything was predictable, then the magic of life would be lost.

I’m not saying you don’t need to do some thinking before making a leap. But asking yourself how you would live if you only had six months to live, might be the only way that you can avoid paralysis by analysis.

It might be the only way you’ll stop making excuses and thinking too much. The more often you’re able to stand on the edge of that cliff of uncertainty, and take that leap of faith, the more you will live your adulthood life to its fullest.

Takeaway: Accepting your uncertainties is paradoxically the only way you’ll become sure in your life.

• Inspect this thought: Who am I to deserve this success?

Our childhood has a profound impact on the way we see ourselves. Many of us have had poor upbringings, removing the glow of our inherent, positive self-image. So, as a consequence, some of us see ourselves as of lower value to other human beings. I know I used to at least, and I still suffer from this to a certain degree.

In the light of low self-confidence, any potential success feels misaligned. It goes against years of conditioning. And even the mere idea of it naturally makes us feel like impostors. Even me writing this article, it’s easy for me to tell myself… “who am I to write this?” But really, the question I should be asking is… “who I am to NOT write this article?”.

We all have the same intrinsic worth. No one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone. You are simply what you make of yourself. I am what I make of myself. While people do have different abilities, and virtues, at everyone’s base level, we all have the same human worth.

Recognizing that someone’s intrinsic value is interdependent of their career, status, or fame paradoxically frees us to attach our self-worth to what’s deep inside us, not what’s seen as “valuable” by the world.

So whenever you envision what you want to achieve, and you crackle under the thought of… am I good enough? Can do I do it? Realize that what you’re really asking yourself, is if you deserve this success. Whenever you notice the slightest inkling of self-doubt creep into your mind, change your thought pattern to something that serves you.

Takeaway: You deserve going after what you want.

“You can get everything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar.

So that’s it! Those are some of the important mindsets you need to instill if you want to slowly break away from the fear of success (change never happens instantaneously). If you’re interested in learning more about what you can do to increase your odds of growing and increasing your contentment levels, I’m going to give you a Free Bonus to help.

• First, I’ve put together a list of the best morning routines, so that you can feel at ease each day, so you’ll approach your work already feeling productive.
• Second, I’ve included a methodology on how to split up your day into 4 chunks, so you’ll know exactly when to indulge yourself guilt-free.
• Third, I’ll show you how to consistently celebrate your small wins, so that you feel more creative and enthusiastic about work.

If you’d like to learn how to implement all of my strategies, click below to access my eBook (9 mins read). I’ll show you the behind the scenes to every detail of the system you need to be insanely productive. (Access here).

About the Author: Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Book explores ways people can make success easier.

You’ve read How to Stop being Scared of Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 5 Ways to Navigate Stressful Situations This Holiday Season, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The holidays can really usher in emotions and feelings that we find much easier to suppress throughout the rest of the year. We may find that we lose patience with the long lines at the shopping mall, and our email inboxes seem to be completely taken over with advertisements for our favorite restaurants, discounts on air travel and holiday party invitations. It’s definitely “the most wonderful time of the year,” but it can also absolutely be the most stressful.

So, rather than hiding in the supply closet during the office party, there are some ways to make it through the season with your dignity still intact. Let’s explore a few!

1. Beware of Taking on Too Much

Some people are under the impression that the holidays are a time to relax and to take a step back from the worries of day-to-day life. Apparently those with this opinion have never had to host a dinner, plan a toy drive or shop for picky relatives. When you find yourself volunteering to head up committees or offering to cook the honey-baked ham at your house this year, be sure to know your limitations, and be wary of taking on any unnecessary stress. This isn’t the time to be an overachiever. When you are leading the brigade, don’t be afraid to delegate and lean on others to help get the job done or achieve a goal. Remember, you’re all in this together.

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Have an Exit Strategy

Sometimes it is impossible to skip the holiday invitations that will place you in the same room with people that you could definitely wait another year to see. However, don’t deprive yourself of the joy of having a good meal with loved ones or watching children tear into their perfectly wrapped gifts with a frenzy. Instead, have a plan in mind to extricate yourself quickly and easily from a bad situation, should it arise, side-stepping the attached stress and anxiety. Walk outside to place a phone call or even run back home to retrieve a “forgotten” present. Sometimes there’s nothing more freeing than the possibility of a well-executed escape plan!

3. Set a Budget and Stick to It

When it comes to the nearly overwhelming power of the bewitching wiles of holiday retail, filling up the shopping cart before you even get to number six on your gift list can easily become your reality, creating months of stress when the credit bills start rolling in. Trying to keep to a budget can be difficult, especially when families continue to grow, and prices never seem to go down. But creating a list with gift ideas, including estimated pricing, can go a long way. Also be sure to keep your eyes open for special deals and discounts, especially online, and even if it involves looking up promo codes and clipping coupons. Plus, you can sign up for email notifications a few weeks ahead for your favorite stores, ensuring you won’t miss that big sale.

4. Don’t Skip the Exercise

If you are already on a strict workout regimen, regularly practice yoga or simply take a brisk walk around the block after dinner, don’t use the holidays as an excuse to turn back into a couch potato. While you can definitely take a step back, and maybe even skip that cardio on Christmas Eve, be sure to remember to keep active. Now, this is isn’t just to keep your ideal weight or fit into those new jeans, but exercise can definitely attribute to your overall well-being, greatly reducing stress. Many embrace physical activity as a way to clear the mind and unplug, so be sure not to skip it when you may need it the most!

5. Be Open to Change

Things may not always go according to plan, especially during the holidays, when schedules change and workloads may pile up during time off. The best way to face these impending adjustments is with an open mind, ready to roll with the punches and embrace change. Dinner may be held at a different time this year, or your flight might be unexpectedly rescheduled. But don’t see these incidents as negative, but be understanding of the fact that the holidays can sometimes create circumstances that interfere with normal daily activities or cause scheduling conflicts. You may just find yourself welcoming in a new holiday tradition or discovering that you aren’t as set in your ways as you once thought that you were.

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Angela is a professional article writer and editor, specializing in self improvement and health topics. She is also the Content Manager for Mentegram, a mental heaththcare company that has helped over 200 therapists provide better care to over 1,500 patients.

You’ve read 5 Ways to Navigate Stressful Situations This Holiday Season, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Post-Election Reset: 5 Ways to Invite Positivity and Jumpstart Your New Year, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

This election season has taken a toll on our psyches, both individual and collective. Many are questioning what it means to be [fill in the blank] and I don’t blame them; I’m finding it difficult, too.

Last month, I gave a QCommons (think TED for the Christian community) talk on Building Community as Lifework where I urged conference goers to get out of their comfort zones and echo chambers because that’s where change happens. Because outside of our comfort zones is where the good work is most needed. So it feels weird to be here now suggesting that maybe, just maybe, we all need to go back into our burrows for a moment so that we don’t sacrifice the work that we will undoubtedly need to do over the next four years.

Now, more than ever, it is important for us to put optimism into practice through visioning and goal setting.

December is the month where I prepare for a refresh. Instead of thinking about everything I didn’t accomplish in the previous 11 months, I start looking forward to what I have planned for myself in the upcoming year. It’s the month when hopefulness about the future collides with the prevailing energy of the season of giving. Everything usually just feels…lighter. But this year is different. Just last night, I found myself looking for the “time-out” button on Facebook. My newsfeed is consumed with others’ confirmations of their worst-case scenarios—worst-case scenarios that I then start to consider and find myself researching for validity or probability. I know this is unhealthy for me. I want to remain connected to my friends and what they’re doing. I also want to be informed and up-to-date on current events. Now, though, I’m feeling as though both of these desires are coming at a steep cost.

Our thoughts are magnetic and have the power to shift the world around us. That means our work in this moment is to thrive despite uncertainty. We have to allow room for our collective consciences to step in on our behalf.

Setting goals and envisioning your future needs two necessary ingredients to take shape. The first is the belief that anything is possible and all that you desire is within your reach. The second is the knowledge that you are in control. It’s difficult enough to become our best selves when our environments feel relatively stable. How then, can we do this in the midst of post-election chaos?

It’s simple: we choose to.

Now that I’m able to recognize how the national (and in some cases, international) climate is affecting my mood, I am taking a few deliberate actions to preserve my sanity and position myself to be able to use December in the way it was meant: for reflection. I am inviting you to do the same over the next 30 days.

The Post-Election Reset

1. Filter your networks.

Perhaps instead of asking the crowd to avoid retreating to their echo chambers, I should have recommended practicing discernment. Review the list of news and “news” outlets you’ve liked. Are they all legitimate? Are there any that you could do without? You will likely never be able to read every take on the same issue so identify the source that is most credible for you and abandon the others.

2. Share your news.

Instead of sharing the news of the day, share your news of the day. What moved you? What brought you joy? What did you learn today? What issues are you struggling with and would like your network to help you address? Put yourself back in the center of your universe and allow others to renew their connections with you.

3. Acknowledge your real fears.

You can’t own others’ fears and when bombarded with information it can be hard to decipher which fears you genuinely hold and which ones you’ve adopted. So take a moment—a short one, don’t dwell in negativity—to acknowledge what is scaring you right now. What is driving your post-election anxiety? Are there any underlying fears that are resurfacing for you at this time? Write each one down on its own piece of paper. Then…

4. Draft your vision.

Where are you this time next year? How will you feel? What will you have accomplished? Who are you in relation to those fears? This is your vision. Write it down in first person, present tense (i.e. I am a successful author of a newly published novel.). Frame your vision (literally!) and seal your fears in an envelope.

5. Choose your fount of positivity.

In the first step you filtered your networks of sources that can prompt or fuel negativity. Now it’s time to find spaces that encourage and nurture positive thinking. Is there a blog or newsletter you enjoy reading? Is there an online community that you would like to be a part of? If you cannot find an existing resource, create your own. Start with one. Whatever it is that brings you peace and joy, find it, and find ways to bring more of it into your life.

Whether it’s post-election anxiety or a general desire to reset, these steps will help you adjust your mindset, reorient yourself towards what’s positive, and set the stage for some major growth in 2017.

Cheers!

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Candace Hollingsworth is a management consultant and coach based in the Washington, DC metro area. You can join her community of dream-makers and risk-takers here. 

You’ve read Post-Election Reset: 5 Ways to Invite Positivity and Jumpstart Your New Year, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The 7 Best Blogs on Change, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Change is the one thing you can count on. We hear this over and over again. It can be an unforeseen trauma which alters our lives forever, it can be an event we have known about for awhile, such as a move or a marriage or it can be something we aspire to achieve. We may simply feel the need to change a habit. This will also end up shifting our behavior on a whole, since they are all interconnected. Research suggests that habits form about 45% of our total behavior!

It is important then to acknowledge that working with or toward change involves much more than a thought and an action, counter-intuitively it requires us to ease up on our willpower and simplify our desire. Here are 7 blogs that help comb the landscape of change in whatever form it may present itself:

1. Marie Forleo is a wonderful voice in the self-development industry. She boasts a site that has a lot of helpful blogs, vlogs and positive insights into our lives. In this Marietv video she speaks with Tony Robbins about what it takes to change your life. The take away from this is that: “When you change the priorities of our nervous system, when you rewire, huge change lasts.”

https://youtu.be/WuFysBXxMUw

2. Steven Aitchison”s site has a number of subject headings to click on and find your article of interest. With this topic of change, the idea of resiliency comes to mind. If change has come as a result of some traumatic event or an emotional, financial crisis has loomed without warning, this article is helpful in accepting that one is strong enough to survive a difficult change.

http://ift.tt/2gyYz8v

3. Alex Blackwell”s blog touches upon the importance remembering the good things that happen in life and not allowing the bad to rob you of your peace. This idea makes one embrace change and even push toward it, knowing the acceptance of what is allows us to enjoy the present and see the gifts it has to offer.

http://ift.tt/2gV05CW

4. This blog has an entire section dedicated to the subject of change. One article here highlights some fundamental thoughts about how change can happen. It”s all in our attitude! Attitudes toward love, money and success can help us overcome obstacles to living our greatest life.

http://ift.tt/2gclCZj

5. This site is a bit different than the others, as it is a weight loss blog. Whether or not that is part of or all of the change you are experiencing, the underlying emotional and spiritual issues surrounding weight gain apply fundamentally to the idea of change across the board.

http://ift.tt/2gUUhci

6. This blog is particularly crucial for anyone dealing with an abusive situation. This is where change may not happen because of fear, it is imperative that one be able to recognize the signs of a controlling, manipulative and narcissistic person in order to make a change away from it.

http://ift.tt/1bxRDnn

7. James Clear has an impressive site with articles, books, podcats etc. In this particular article he muses on the idea of habits. Breaking bad ones, keeping good ones and what is going on in our minds when habits go to work. He lays it out with a simple plan to overhaul your habits while breaking down all of the stages one can expect and why.

http://ift.tt/15qRvko

There are so many questions one can ask themselves in anticipation of, or in the midst of change. Two of the most important are whether or not it feeds you spiritually and if you are indeed getting in the way of your own success. These are difficult to define for oneself, but they are essential to change. Whatever you decide to do with a circumstance or a decision if we first ask how it can offer meaning and purpose to our lives we can surely endure or overcome its challenges.

Do you read a great blog about change that is not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!

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Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

You’ve read The 7 Best Blogs on Change, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How To Use Your Powerful Mind To Be Positively Happy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking” – Marcus Aurelius

Our mind is so complex that we can forget how powerful it is.

It can either make or break us at any given moment. It has the power to take us to the stars or throw us off a cliff.

According to the American Foundation For Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the USA, with 42,773 Americans dying by suicide every year.  

The mind is the root cause of suicide, with over 90% of cases attributed to mental illness.

With a concerted effort, we can achieve a state of continuous happiness by teaching the mind to think positively.

HAPPINESS IS NOT IN THE FUTURE

“People look to time in the expectation that it will eventually make them happy, but you cannot find true happiness by looking toward the future” – Eckhart Tolle

How often do we say to ourselves ‘I’ll be happy when the bills are paid’. Or ‘When I was younger, things were better’?

We are all guilty of falling into the trap of believing that we will feel better in the future. Or we reminisce about how much easier life was back in the day.

The truth is, happiness has little to do with circumstances. Mental constructions of future and past have a huge impact on our current state. In reality, though, they have nothing to do with how things actually ‘are’ right now.

Like a ping pong match, our mind will bounce back and forth between ideas. It says ‘I’ll feel great when I lose the excess weight’ or ‘I was happier when I ate whatever I wanted’. It cannot make a decision and we wonder why we are confused.

Perception of a circumstance, not the actual circumstance,  determines our happiness. If left unchecked, your mind will come up with countless reasons to be unsatisfied.

To enjoy a more balanced life, we must first notice disempowering thoughts. We must then redirect these thoughts and turn them into empowering ones.

The future is simply a dream-like projection of mind-made fantasies. It is not real. It exists only in your head.

If you want to think about the future, consider it in a positive way and then take constructive action in the now.

STOP PRESUMING

How often do we mentally grumble about things we have no idea about?

Sitting in rush hour traffic, we jump at the opportunity to lash out when traffic isn’t moving. We speculate and blame the event on all manner of made up ideas

We scowl at the stranger who doesn’t reciprocate a “thank you” when we hold the door open for them. Mentally we judge them and label them as rude.

Could it be possible that the person who walked through the door was in a daze after hearing some terrible news? Is it too difficult to consider that the traffic is lousy because of an accident?

Instead of accepting something as it is, we create a negative story. I call this ‘Speculation Nation’.

Our patience dissolves or we get angry at nothing but a speculative thought.

We become unhappy and lose our power as the mind complains. It wants to know what justification the other person has for behaving a certain way. It struggles when things don’t act in accordance with its own personal values and rules.

Many battles could be avoided If people understood that we all have a different set of values.

Just because a person appears to be rude to you, doesn’t really matter.

It is only your interpretation of the events that have the power to determine your happiness. Choose to interpret them positively.

Choose to interpret them positively.

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” – William Shakespeare

LOOK FOR HAPPINESS

In every moment we have a choice. We can choose to resist the way something is or we can accept the way it is. After all, it ‘IS’.

There are 2 ways to deal with something that is not going as planned.

1. Mentally complain and tell yourself a phantom story about how dreadful it is.

This will lead to a lot of pain and suffering.

2. Accept the way it is and look for the positive and beauty in the situation.

This leads to peace and joy.

Shift your perspective from discontentment to acceptance. Surrender to the way it is because it can be no other way. It is what it is and no amount of complaining will change it.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

Relinquishing control and making way for acceptance will relieve you of tension and frustration.

In its place, there will be spaciousness. Burden and negativity will no longer rule you and positivity will break through.

Every situation, no matter what it is, can be perceived as either positive or negative.

Choosing to accept, or to see the advantage in a circumstance, will free you of suffering.  In turn, this will better allow you to explore the beauty and magnificence of life.

GIVE THANKS

Showing gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to find happiness. Gratitude opens up the heart and sends positive energy to those willing to receive it.

What we send out, is returned ten-fold.

In the book of the film ‘The Secret’, Rhonda Byrne talks about how she used gratitude to turn her entire life around.

Her relationships, finances, and health were spiraling out of control. She felt like she was on a collision course with destruction.

Once she realized that her thoughts were controlling her life, she began expressing gratitude. She became thankful for all that is good in her life.

Instead of complaining about money issues, she would give thanks for the things she had. Surely enough, she was able to turn around her entire life. She shares these teachings in ‘The Secret’ series of books and films.

“Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.” ― Rhonda Byrne

Expressing gratitude really means that we are expressing happiness.

Gratitude puts us in a state of positivity. We feel uplifted and energized and happiness becomes the natural byproduct of these feelings.

According to this study, gratitude and happiness have a direct impact on emotional and interpersonal benefits.

MAKE HAPPINESS THE GOAL

Adopt these keys points to ensure that you are constantly in a state of  well-being.

1. Give up trying to control every situation, it’s impossible.
2. Let go of the past and stop expecting the future to make things better. Now is the only time you can experience joy.
3. Accept the way something is. If you can change it, great. If you can’t, Hakuna Matata (it means no worries!)
4. Give up speculating. You have no idea why she didn’t turn up for the date. Maybe she had a car crash!
5. Look for the good in all things. Search for beauty, it’s everywhere.
6. Play, be silly, be creative. Let your hair down.
7. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Go out of your way to give thanks.
8. Consistently following these simple steps will ensure that you think powerfully and positively.  

You will literally rewire your brain so that it remains in a state of bliss so that happiness becomes a way of life.

You’ve read How To Use Your Powerful Mind To Be Positively Happy, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The 7 Ways To Empower Young Minds, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

 

If you’re lucky enough to work with children, it’s probably pretty likely that you have wondered about how to empower your young charges so that they become the most productive and successful adults they can possibly be. Good for you! Working to uplift and inspire the younger generation is one of the best things you can do. But, what’s the best way to go about this? Here are the seven best ways to empower young minds!

Encourage, Encourage, Encourage There’s an old adage that says you should praise children ten times as much as you criticize them, and this is definitely true! While working with kids, try to maintain endlessly positive.

Plan For The Future Sometimes, even just knowing someone believes in you is enough to get the job done. Spend some time with the kids in your life and talk to them about their future goals. Be a sounding board for them.

Give Concrete Suggestions People benefit the most when you give them specific suggestions towards reaching their goals. Give them advice on careers, how to earn the best college scholarships, and choosing their friends wisely. Kids understand that you’ve been their age before, and chances are high that they will appreciate hearing your thoughts!

Make Time For Alone Time Kids react really well when they know that there is an adult who cares about them. Show the children you’re close to that you want to see them succeed by carving out time to go on a walk, drink a hot chocolate, and grab lunch. It’s never too early to begin mentoring someone! Who knows… you may even inspire them to become a mentor themselves when they reach adulthood. That really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Don’t Tear Them Down Even if you don’t agree with something a child said or believes in, try your best to support them and not tear them down. Part of growing up is exploring your belief system and drawing conclusions. Give them the safe space they need to do that! Remember… praise them ten times as much as you criticize them.

Teach Them Mindfulness Every adult knows that maintaining a work-life balance can be difficult, so it’s never too early to start teaching kids these habits. Talk to children about mindfulness, the importance of family time, and the values of hard work and ingenuity. Just spending a few minutes talking about managing your emotions and practicing self-care will have a lifelong impact on the people you reach.

Show That FUN Is Okay Everyone has worries and anxieties sometimes… including children! Don’t hesitate to show kids that it’s alright to take a break from the hecticness of life to have a little fun.

Childhood is hard enough. Try to make it a little bit easier for the children in your life by taking an active role in uplifting and empowering them. You’ll have a long-term impact on their life, and will set a great example for them as they enter adulthood. That alone makes the small time you’ll dedicate to helping them completely worth it!

You’ve read The 7 Ways To Empower Young Minds, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 11 Easy Yoga Poses You Can Do Now For Immediate Stress Relief, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If there was any word in the dictionary that would make you cower in fear…

It would be the word: deadlines.

Just the thought of an impending deadline can make you flustered, frustrated and stressed.

The thing is…

You’re already working your hardest to meet that deadline. Yet you have to continue to put in 14-hour work days just to get everything done.

At this very moment, everything seems miserable.

You feel your teeth clenching together. You feel like your head is about to explode. You feel like your entire body is tensed up, as if you were preparing for a punch to your stomach.

You are ready to give up.

But you can’t.

You need some way to relieve your stress. You need some way to calm yourself down, breathe better, gain clarity and get back down to work immediately.

It’s not like you haven’t tried some solutions. You did.

Just that they didn’t help.

You need something better.

Why Yoga Is The Perfect Solution To Your Stress

Have you considered using yoga for stress relief?

While it originated as a spirituality practice, it has been scientifically proven to help with reducing stress and anxiety levels. Many research studies have found that yoga works equally well as compared to relaxation to help with reducing stress levels and improving life quality.

It is even endorsed by the Mayo Clinic as a surefire method for fighting stress, getting fit and staying healthy.

The question is:

Why is yoga so effective in relieving stress?

The basic principle of yoga is to focus on a particular pose while being conscious of your breathing. By truly focusing on just one thing in the present moment, you let go of your stress and allow yourself to decompress.

Furthermore, the actual poses (also called asanas in yoga) help release tension in your body, which makes you feel calmer and put you in a meditative state.

You might still be skeptical.

After all, you’re already stressed and tensed to the brim. You can’t possibly fork out time to get yourself down to a yoga studio for a 1 – 2 hours practice.

You simply can’t afford it.

But that’s the wonderful part of yoga.

You don’t even have to start signing up for yoga classes. All you have to do is to learn some basic poses and do them anytime you feel stressed.

No matter where you are, and what you’re wearing, you can buckle down and hold a few yoga poses to help relieve your stress.

So without further ado, here are 11 poses you can do anytime to help relieve your stress.

 

11 Yoga Poses That’ll Banish Your Stress Away

1. Corpse Pose

 

Yoga Name: Savasana

The corpse pose, despite its morose sounding name, is one of the easiest and most effective exercises to relieve your stress. It probably got its name from the fact that all you have to do is to lay down flat on the floor — like a dead body.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Lie down flat on the floor with your legs straightened and spread out. If you experience discomfort or pain being in this position, you can keep your legs bent.

Step 2: Ensure that your head is centered and not facing or falling to either side. This is probably the “toughest” part of the pose as most of us tend to lean our heads to one side.

Step 3: Extend your arms to the sides, allowing to rest on the floor.

Step 4: Hold the position for 5 minutes, breathing in and out slowly and steadily.

2. Happy Baby

Yoga Name: Ananda Balasana

This is a fun yoga pose to be in. It is named Happy Baby because of the way you look in your yoga position, like a cute little baby laughing.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Lay on your back on the floor.

Step 2: Raise your legs from the floor towards your head. You should strive to aim your knees towards your chest. This particular step can prove to be slightly difficult for some people.

Step 3: Spread your legs slightly wider than shoulder-width, and keep your soles facing towards the ceiling.

Step 4: Grab the outer part of your soles with your hands. If this is difficult for you, you might consider using a towel to hook onto your outer soles.

Step 5: To make it a little bit more challenging, try pulling your feet downwards.

Step 6: Hold this position for 3 minutes, and take deep breaths.

3. Child’s Pose

Yoga Name: Balasana

This particular pose requires you to be in the fetal position, thus deriving its name: Child’s Pose. A side benefit of this particular pose is that it also lengthens your spine, which helps relieve back pain if you have any.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Kneel on the floor.

Step 2: Gently bring your butt down to your heels.

Step 3: Bring your forehead as close to the floor as possible.

Step 4: Try to touch your thighs with your belly.

Step 5: Stretch your arms forward, as far away as possible from your feet.

Step 6: Hold this position for 1 minute.

4. Cat Pose

Yoga Name: Marjaryasana

This pose (as well as the Cow pose) are great for relieving back pain and undoing the damage from sitting all day. If you find yourself sitting for more than 6 hours a day, do this pose as often as possible.

Also, the name of this pose derives from the fact that you’ll look like a cat stretching its back.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Get on your fours (meaning hands and knees on the floor.)

Step 2: Keeping your shoulders and knees in position, try to round your spine, imagining that you’re trying to make your spine touch the ceiling.

Step 3: Repeat for 10 times.

5. Cow Pose

Yoga Name: Bitilasana

This pose is usually paired together with the cat pose as it is held in the same position. Apparently, this pose mimics the way a cow eats.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Get on your fours (hands and knees on the floor)

Step 2: Now, do the opposite of the cat pose. Try imagining reaching the floor with your belly (or attempting to touch your spine to your belly). This will cause your spine to arch.

Step 3: Repeat for 10 times.

6. Puppy Pose

Yoga Name: Uttana Shishosana

If you have not noticed by now, yoga asanas take a lot of inspiration from observing animals. This is no difference. The puppy pose is an imitation of puppies or dogs stretching.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Get on your fours (hands and knees on the floor).

Step 2: Slowly walk your hands away from you and lower your chest down towards the ground.

Step 3: If you are able to, rest your forehead on the ground and place your weight onto your hands.

Step 4: Keep on your legs firmly on the floor.

Step 5: Hold the position for 30 seconds.

7. Legs Up The Wall

Yoga Name: Viparita Karani

This pose is a great pose for you to just lay down, relax and wish your stresses away.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Find a wall

Step 2: Grab a towel and roll it up

Step 3: Place the towel about one hand away from the wall, and gently place your butt on the towel.

Step 4: Lay down on the floor.

Step 5: Gently adjust your hips such that the back of your thighs is resting on the wall.

Step 6: Straighten your legs and lean.

Step 7: Hold this position for 30 seconds.

8. Cobra Pose

Yoga Name: Bhujangasana

Not only will this pose help relieve your stress, it also employ the backbend position, which can potentially prevent damage to your spine.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Lay flat on your stomach.

Step 2: Place your hands beside your chest, palms facing down.

Step 3: Raise yourself up and straighten your arms while arching your back. Your hips, thighs and feet are still in contact with the ground (don’t raise them!)

Step 4: Try to look up at the ceiling

Step 5: Hold the position for 30 seconds.

9. Bridge Pose

Yoga Name: Setu Bandha Sarvangasana

This pose can be quite challenging (if it is the first time you’re doing it) but it is also infinitely rewarding.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Lay flat on the floor, knees bent, and ensure that your feet is tucked near your butt area.

Step 2: Raise your hips up slowly, lifting your thighs and your lower back. Keep your feet, neck and back of head on the floor.

Step 3: Hold the position for 30 seconds. (This can be challenging!)

10. Thread The Needle

Yoga Name: Parsva Balasana

This is an interesting pose where you might need some imagination to see yourself as the needle going through a thread.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Get on your fours (hands and knees on the floor)

Step 2: You will notice that there is a “gap” between your left arm and knee. This is the “hole” where you’ll stick the “needle” in (your right hand in this case.)

Step 3: Plant the right side of your head and your right shoulder on the ground as you stick your right hand through the gap.

Step 4: hold the position for 30 seconds.

Step 5: Repeat for the other side.

11. Pigeon Pose

Yoga Name: Kapotasana

This is a pose that not only relaxes you, but also belongs to the category of exercises known as “hip-opening exercises”. Sitting for too long tends to shorten the muscles around your hamstrings and hip area, causing it to be too tight. The pigeon pose has the added benefit of opening your hips and stretching them out, reversing the damage caused by excessive sitting.

Step-by-Step Guide:

Step 1: Sit with one leg in front of you and the other leg straightened behind.

Step 2: Bend the front leg 90 degrees (that means the outer side of the calf and ankle will come into contact with the ground).

Step 3: Straighten your back.

Step 4: Hold the position for 30 seconds.

Step 5: Repeat for the other leg.

 

You’re stressed.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it.

In fact, there are quick and easy ways to relieve and rejuvenate yourself to tackle the challenges ahead.

All you have to do is — the next time you feel overwhelmed and stressed, pick one of the above exercises. (If you want 21 more exercises, here is a list of exercises that can help relieve stress and back pain.)

Find a corner in your office (or at home) and follow the step by step instructions. Hold the poses for the recommended length of time.

Feel yourself breathing and relaxing as you shift your thoughts away from the stress.

You’ll be able to feel more clarity and be ready to tackle your work again.

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Attention Pick The Brain readers!

The above exercises will be good enough to get you relaxed and relieved of stress. If you would more exercises on how to relieve stress (as well as back pain), download your free checklist of recommended exercises that can help you relieve stress and back pain from sitting too long.

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Ong Si Quan is the Growth Guy at airawear.com who wants to help people be free of pain and stress from their lives. Download his free checklist of stress and back pain relief exercises to learn how to do so.

You’ve read 11 Easy Yoga Poses You Can Do Now For Immediate Stress Relief, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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