You’re reading 5 Depressing Reasons You Can’t Establish Genuine Connection with Other People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Our frantic search for love is leading most of us astray and fixated on things that take away genuine sources of happiness. Instead of focusing on how to create long-lasting relationships, we tend to be more interested on finding casual partners who ‘isn’t serious’, ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’. No wonder most relationships today are shallow and extremely fragile – or BOTH.

Connection as the Energy That Binds People

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”  – Brene Brown

We all yearn for connection in our lives.  Connecting with other people allows us to share parts of our selves – parts that we’ve sometimes hidden or forgotten deep under our fears and insecurities. What most people don’t know is that when we let go of these fears, when we learn to trust other people and share ourselves down to every last fragment of our souls – this is when we’ll find love and true connection.

However, today, finding great friendships or long lasting romantic relationships is as rare as hen’s teeth. People mingle, and talk to each other but don’t form connection. We meet strangers, we get amused by their stories, and then we leave it at that. We don’t form bonds; we miss out on great people in our lives because we don’t know how to connect. Why is it so hard to establish genuine connection in the first place?

1. You’re not in connection with your true authentic self

The most important attachment we have to build through life is the one which involves ourselves. Before we try connecting with other people, we first have to accept ourselves for all our flaws, insecurities, and failures.  We have to learn to love the person we see in the mirror every day.

Most people fail at connecting because they think that they are broken and damaged beyond repair. They believe they don’t deserve people in their lives because they are “this” and “that”. These are the people who haven’t experienced love and emotional connection growing up. When we experience these healthy emotions we will feel worthy of love and friendship.

Here are simple ways to improve your connection with yourself:

• Notice your feelings and why you feel sad, angry, or happy when in a situation.
• Make time for solo activities that you enjoy once in a while.
• Be more compassionate – with yourself. Forgive and forget mistakes.
• Keep a journal and keep track of what’s happening on your life. You’ll be shocked at how much progress you’ve made!

2. You’re focusing on the negative

Sometimes to be able to connect, all we need is a little attitude change. Try to think how you behave with other people, and how they behave when they’re with you. Often times, we see ourselves as the victim – we focus on the negative and fail to see the good things.

If we shift our perspectives and maybe change our interpretations of the situation, we would see how sometimes horrible experiences are not so horrible. That sometimes things were really just an honest mistake. These simple attitude changes can create ripples of big changes that lead to transformation. Soon you’ll know how to connect with people – and have truer longer and lasting relationships.

3. You never listen

Are you really listening to your friends when they talk to you? Or are you formulating your response as they speak? Listening involves understanding the feelings of the person you’re talking to. It’s how you relate with the person.  Everyone likes to be listened to; we all want someone to listen to our woes and joyful moments from time to time.

Listening is one way of forming connection and deep relationships. Great conversations allow both parties open dialogue, exchange of ideas, and respect when the other expresses different opinion. When you have mindful and better conversations with someone, you build trust that lasts for years to come.

4. You’re always with people who treat you like sh*t

Choose to form connection with people who will make you happy. Don’t stay or even waste a minute of your life being with friends or partners who treat you wrong.  Detach from people who don’t value your worth as a person. Learn to love yourself enough to believe that you deserve a better kind of love and friendship. Everything begins and ends with your decision. You must acknowledge that you have all the free will to stay or detach from a relationship that don’t serve you good emotionally and mentally.

5. You’re too busy with ‘other’ things

We all have 24 hours in a day, if we spend just a few hours of our time connecting with people, we’d have better chances of having deeper and meaningful relationships. According to Amanda Gore of The Joy Project “connection to someone or something is a vital life force, a source of great energy, vitality, comfort and peace”. It’s as important as food for our survival. Without it, we’d be missing a huge part in our existence. We’d be making ourselves easy targets for depression and misery.

Think about it. When was the last time you’ve had a meaningful conversation with your partner or your friend? If it was months – or worse years ago – then you’re not making enough time for connection.

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Armela Escalona is a blogger, digital marketer and content editor at Scoopfed.  She writes for business in various industries such as as tech, health, fitness and real estate. At present, she is helping people find and sell properties through www.saggiorealty.com. Send her a tweet @ArmelaE. 

You’ve read 5 Depressing Reasons You Can’t Establish Genuine Connection with Other People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 21 Inspirational Quotes That Capture The Wonder Of Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s near impossible to encapsulate life’s innate beauty and wonder through a language of letters and symbols.

However, there are a few impressive individuals out there who’ve tried their darn hardest to capture the essence of our existence in just a few words — and luckily for us, they succeeded.

Quotes have a purpose: to deliver a succinct piece of wisdom in a short burst. Put them to work and use them whenever you’re feeling rough, or simply want to be reminded of the wonderful world we live in. (P.S be sure to stick around until the end for a bonus!)

“Talk of mysteries! — Think of our life in nature, — daily to be shown matter, to come in contact with it, — rocks, trees, wind on our cheeks! The solid earth! The actual world! The common sense! Contact! Contact! Who are we? Where are we?” ―Henry David Thoreau

“Astonishment is the proper response to reality.” —Terence McKenna

“Happiness consists in realizing it is all a great strange dream.” —Jack Kerouac

“He who does not answer the questions has passed the test.” —Franz Kafka

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” —Albert Einstein

“The notion that a human being should be constantly happy is a uniquely modern, uniquely American, uniquely destructive idea.” ―Andrew Weil

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” —Jackie Robinson

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ―Carl Jung

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.” —Unknown

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ―Joseph Campbell

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality.” —Lao Tzu

“Because you are alive, everything is possible.” ―Thích Nhất Hạnh

“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” ―Yasutani Roshi

“I know there is no straight road
No straight road in this world
Only a giant labyrinth
Of intersecting crossroads” ―Federico Garcia Lorca

“Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.” —Stephen Hawking

“Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.” ―Aldous Huxley

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final” —Rainer Maria Rilke

“The longer I live, the more uninformed I feel. Only the young have an explanation for everything.” ―Isabel Allende

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” —Carl Sagan

“If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.” ―Zen Proverb

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ―Friedrich Nietzsche

“Memory creates the future as well as the past, you wouldn’t know that you were going to have anything happen tomorrow if you didn’t have something yesterday.” —Alan Watts

“Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.” —Jose Ortega y Gasset

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.” —Carl Jung

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” ―Søren Kierkegaard

BONUS!

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” —Mae West

Want to start each and every day off the right way?

Grab a free copy of our new eBook: MORNING MASTERY: The Simple 20 Minute Routine For Long Lasting Energy, Laser-Sharp Focus, and Stress-Free Living.

Joseph is a freelance writer, and the co-creator of Project Monkey Mind—a new blog for entrepreneurs and young professionals who want to tame the monkey mind and lead a productive and fulfilling life.

 

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You’re reading 5 Situations When You Should Say “Thank You” (and mean it), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

After coming back from Japan, I realized that I don’t say the words “thank you” enough in my life. When I traveled there, I noticed that almost everywhere I went, people would say “arigato” (that’s Japanese for thank you) with a cheerful smile.

Showing your train pass to the ticket checker? “Thank you.”

Browsing the baked confectioneries in a department store? “Thank you.”

Checking out of the hotel? “Thank you.”

In fact, I realized that instead of thanking the people in my life, I often came up with reasons, excuses, or silence. But simply saying the words “thank you” is much more meaningful than anything else.

So whenever one of these situations happens, remember that those two words are sufficient:

1. When a thought leader’s words changes your life.

In the Internet age, it’s easy for us to remain anonymous as we follow along in someone’s teachings.

But a little word of thanks can go a long way.

If there’s a thought leader, writer, or someone on social media whom you regularly learn from, just reach out and say “thank you”. It means a lot from them to receive a kind message.

2. When someone gives you advice.

Someone’s advice, unsolicited or not, is best taken graciously. Even if you don’t find the person’s advice useful or decide not to follow it, it shows that they’re trying to help.

Maybe it’s not what you want. Maybe you were hoping for praise and comfort instead. Rather than challenging the advice or ignoring the person, just a simple thanks will suffice.

3. When someone compliments you.

Whenever people give us a compliment, such as “Great job on the workout!” or “Love your haircut!”, too often we dismiss the person’s words.

We downplay ourselves, which can end up making the other person feel like their words were brushed off.

Accepting a compliment is not a sign of arrogance. It is a sign of graciousness. When you say “thank you”, you pat yourself on the back and accept the person had to say.

4. Whenever someone goes out of their way to help.

Even though the news may tell us otherwise, there are so many people who want to help. I always try to thank the people who, no matter how small their gesture, do something nice.

In the winter, I was standing at a bus stop when a woman said something to me and gestured up towards the roof of the bus shelter.

It turned out that she was warning me about standing underneath the icicles that could possibly fall down. So I smiled at her and said, “thank you.”

5. When someone is by your side.

When someone is by your side, it’s easy to forget because they’re always there. Whether it’s a supportive family member, friend, or mentor, they are people who want love and acceptance as well.

You don’t need to have a special occasion or permission to thank them. You can thank them today.

Think of a few people who have helped you or supported you, and send them a message saying, “I just wanted to thank you for the support you’ve given me.”

Thank You For Reading!

And as thanks for reading, I have a guide for Pick the Brain readers:

How To Get Anything You Want

This guide will help you to:

• set and achieve milestones for your goals
• create a plan to keep yourself from veering off-track
• get into the right mindset to keep yourself from giving up

Ready to bring positive change to your life? Grab your free guide here (it’s free).

I look forward to sharing my secrets with you!

———

Melissa Chu helps people get productive and develop good work habits. You can download the free guide on how to set and achieve your goals.

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You’re reading How To Access Inner Wealth and Leave Your Poverty Mindset Behind, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Does the First Minute of Your Day ALWAYS Suck?

The alarm went off…SIGH.

Every day, this struggle, just to do the minimum, no joy, no excitement.

The truth is, when it comes to your life work, you’ve already called in sick.

Can you even remember what excitement is?

Doctor, what’s the prognosis?

First, the Bad News…This Problem is Inside You

You’re suffering from poverty, but not necessarily of money. No, it’s a lack of aspiration, a poverty mind-set.

Imagine if all the money you had was completely borrowed, as you would on high-interest credit cards. Not good, right? But, you’re tolerating a poverty mind-set and so suffering great pain every day.

If all you allow yourself is only the borrowed credit lines of other people’s opinions and expectations, you’re poor, and you’re suffering spirit-killing rates of emotional interest.

Living off someone else’s assets drains your health, leading to poverty of energy, excess anxiety, fear, and stress.

Worst of all, you’ve become a stranger to yourself.

Imagine, at the same time, that you have all kinds of assets, you’d forgotten or never knew of? Wouldn’t you want to stop living on borrowed assets and be self-sufficient?

So, here’s the GOOD NEWS:

The Solution, and the Potential for an AWESOME FUTURE are Inside You

What if I told you that EVERYTHING you needed to transform how you feel was, in fact, inside you this very minute?

What if I told you that you have the internal assets already that can provide you with inner wealth and start you a path to consistently life-affirming and ever present joy?

Remember, if your spirit is poor, odds are, you live on the lines of credit provided by what other people have said about you and what they give you credit for, so toss away those borrowed mental and emotional assets, and unlock that inventory of inner riches right now.

Remember, all the books on business talk about the entrepreneurial mind as the key to creating wealth. Once a business coach told me that the biggest challenge in changing your life work and beginning a wonderful life-work business wasn’t outside, but inside. He was right.

You’re the only person, the only one, that you are with 24/7.

If your relationship with yourself isn’t right, your poverty of self-regard and poverty of self-awareness will destroy your quality of life, so transform that relationship into calm self-acceptance and absolute self-satisfaction.

Quick, take these things down!

Guess What: The Path Forward Goes Backward…To and Through Yourself

1-Go back to childhood, and write about joy in past experiences. Be specific and detailed!

2-Now, close your eyes, see what you’ve written in your mind’s eye, and feel it.

3-Pick up your magic wand and say, “If anything and everything were possible, how would I spend my days?”

4-Close your eyes again, now find that joyous future, then write those feelings down. Read them out loud when you go to bed, and when you get up.

5-Realize that joy isn’t always crazing and noisy: sometimes it’s no less powerful for its quiet and awesome clarity, like the stealth of a submarine with unsurpassed weaponry and capability.

6-Identify with yourself at all times. If something goes wrong, accept it, move on. Always, ALWAYS, be kind to yourself, have compassion for yourself, just as much as you would for a loved one or dear friend.

7-Concentrate on productivity and creativity, not on mistakes. Revel in the wealth of every day being a giant opportunity. And, best of all, you can increase your inner wealth as your happiness and ease grow.

8-Don’t limit your new found consciousness to the beginning and end of each day. During the day, observe your thoughts; if you have a negative one or one based on someone else’s opinions or expectations of you, substitute a new one based on your newly discovered and rediscovered inner wealth.

Where do you start?

Your Future is INSIDE YOU: What will it be?

Start with tomorrow, your first day of opportunity.

Imagine the excitement.

You’ve actually woken up before your alarm clock.

You grab your notebook with all the ideas and triumphant episodes you have imagined in the morning.

How lucky are you?

Imagine, you’ve tried to go to sleep visualizing that newly discovered, gleaming vault inside you.

Who needs an alarm clock now? Bet you barely got to sleep, visualizing an awesome future all night.

Tomorrow: It’s a new day, a new life. Make the most of it!!

Lars Nielsen is a free-lance copywriter with a unique selling voice from the cadence and imagery developed through poetry, playwriting, fiction, radio, and comedy. Go to http://ift.tt/2aI2xgg and see how Ultimate Influence Copywriting can tell compelling stories for your business, your speeches, your ideas, and your life.

You’ve read How To Access Inner Wealth and Leave Your Poverty Mindset Behind, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Four Sacred Phrases for Success (to say on repeat!), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Why do some people have successful businesses and abundant finances? Why do some companies flourish?

Here is a one-sentence secret to prosperity: The root of success comes from the heart and soul.

Following the teachings of traditional Chinese medicine, you can tap into the life-changing power of four sacred phrases to guide you in transforming not only your finances, but also your career, health and relationships.

These four sacred phrases can be used to heal your financial well-being:

1. Qi dao xue dao: Energy (qi) arrives, blood arrives.
2. Yi dao qi dao: Thinking arrives, energy arrives.
3. Xin dao yi dao: Heart arrives, consciousness arrives.
4. Ling dao xin dao: Soul or spirit arrives, heart arrives.

1. Qi Dao Xue Dao

Qi dao xue dao (pronounced chee dow shooeh dow) means energy (qi) arrives, (then) blood arrives. For 5,000 years, this sacred phrase has been the key principle in traditional Chinese medicine for healing all kinds of sickness.

Qi is energy. Blood is matter. The Yellow Emperor’s Internal Classic, the authority book of traditional Chinese medicine, states: If qi flows, blood flows. If qi is blocked, blood is stagnant. In traditional Chinese medicine, all sickness, diseases, emotional imbalances, mental disorders and more are due to blockages of qi and blood. Qi dao xue dao is the key for healing all sickness in traditional Chinese medicine.

What does this have to do with your finances and business?

In ancient spiritual teachings, there is profound wisdom that everyone and everything in the universe consists of jing qi shen. Jing means matter. Qi means energy. Shen means soul. Your body is made of jing qi shen. A tree is made of jing qi shen. The Earth is made of jing qi shen. And so it follows that your financial well-being is made of jing qi shen.

Qi dao xue dao teaches us that qi leads jing. In fact, qi is the boss of jing. Jing and qi are yin and yang. Many people understand ancient wisdom about yin and yang. They understand that yin and yang are two. They may not understand that yin and yang are also one. Yin and yang are complementary, interconnected and interdependent. Qi and jing must work together to ensure the success of your business or finances.

How can you apply this sacred wisdom to business?

During your work day, spend three minutes silently chanting qi dao xue dao. This chant gives a message to the qi of your business to lead and a message to the jing of your business to follow. Your qi will lead better and your jing will follow better. Affirming this message by chanting it could bring your business remarkable blessings.

2. Yi Dao Qi Dao

Yi dao qi dao (pronounced ee dow chee dow) means thinking arrives, (then) energy arrives. This is the relationship of the mind and qi. This is mind over matter.

Yi dao qi dao is a one-sentence secret to train your consciousness. Mind leads energy. Mind is the boss of energy. When you focus your consciousness on some part of your business, energy will flow there and then matter will follow. Mind drives energy and matter for your financial flourishing. Consciousness is important. But, in my opinion, consciousness is not enough. Mind over matter is not enough. We have to involve the heart and soul to truly transform business and finances.

3. Xin Dao Yi Dao

Xin dao yi dao (pronounced sheen dow ee dow) means heart arrives, (then) mind arrives. The heart is the core of life. The heart is the receiver of messages from the soul. The heart digests, absorbs and passes the soul’s messages to consciousness, which is mind. The heart leads consciousness. Mind is the processor.

Xin dao yi dao tells us that the heart is the boss of consciousness. When the heart thinks, things can manifest. This happens through the sacred process of xin dao yi dao, yi dao qi dao, qi dao xue dao. The heart leads mind, mind leads energy, energy leads matter.

How does this apply to business? The key is to develop business from the heart and soul first, then pass it to the mind. To transform business and finances, purify and open your heart.

4. Ling Dao Xin Dao

Ling dao xin dao (pronounced ling dow sheen dow) means message arrives, (then) heart arrives. To heal any sickness, use soul power to give a positive message that is loving, forgiving, compassionate, humble, and harmonious. The same principle applies in business and finances. The message for business must be loving, clear and serve a good purpose.

The soul of your finances is like the roots of a tree. If the roots are not healthy, the tree cannot grow. Heal the soul of your finances, and your life will flourish.

You’ve read Four Sacred Phrases for Success (to say on repeat!), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The 6 Step Guide To Staying Present Every Single Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Unfortunately, it’s common to wake up everyday with the anxiety of your long to-do list. With the amount of things we try to fit into one single day, it might include any one of a million tasks: work duties, school, kids, chores around the house, that weeknight dinner you promised your friend. It’s important to recognize that when you itemize these daily tasks and eventually start running on empty, checking things off the list, life around you is slipping by. It’s draining that positive energy from your body and mind that you need to in fact, be productive and creative throughout the day.

I felt like I was running on empty for 20-something years, waking up each day with the same routine and little variance on my to-do list—and trust me, lots of anxiety. It wasn’t until I truly started being mindful and present that I was able to take a stand for my life. Once I started waking up each day with clear thoughts, in lieu of an agonizing to-do list, my career of 30+ years did a 180-degree turn into something that I truly love to wake up to every day. I am full, clear and happy.

It’s time to take control of your life, start living in the moment, and approach each day with energetic mindfulness. Ask yourself: Will you allow fear or complacency to hold you back, or do you want to experience everything that life has to offer?

Here is a 6 step guide to help you get started:

1. SMILE.

Each morning when you mosey over to the bathroom mirror, greet yourself with a smile. Smile when you greet someone else. Your smile has the ability to not only help you feel better, but help others feel your positive energy around them. Hopefully, they’ll pay it forward, too.

2. OBSERVE.

Truly observe your surroundings, it doesn’t matter if the environment is urban, rural, ocean, mountain, or suburban. There is always something to notice and appreciate. Remember, most of the time the small details in life have the most to offer.

3. TRY SOMETHING NEW.

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn the tango, go horseback riding, or get creative in the kitchen… Free yourself up from the usual to-do list and put these at the top.

4. APPRECIATE.

Appreciate those around you. We are often so caught up in our own world that we forget what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. How does this fit into staying present? Being mindful of the people surrounding you directly affects your mood, energy and thoughts, in that moment.

5. TAKE IT EASY.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. There’s so much we can’t control in our lives. What we can control is how we look at things. “You learn a lot about yourself, by the way you get out of something. It’s in the exit—where our growth lives.” –Danielle Doby

6. BREATHE.

Breathing is an involuntary function we take for granted. Breathing detoxifies our bodies, which helps relieve tension, boost energy and increase stamina. There are a number of yogic breathing techniques that can be added to a meditation routine (or simply, morning routine) you might already have.

Wake up tomorrow and commit to living in the moment. Each day you vow to stop being complacent and live more mindfully, you are letting your true goals break through your (old) “to-do list.”

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Debra Negrin is an integrative health coach and the founder of S.E.L.F. Integrative Health  – a brand new destination for those looking to live a more fulfilled, healthy life. Visit her website for one-on-one coaching and follow her on Instagram!

You’ve read The 6 Step Guide To Staying Present Every Single Day, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 25 Best Websites to Learn New Skills Online, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Looking to learn new things this year?

You can forget about overpriced institutions and traditional curriculums.

The future of learning is online, where you can learn new things anytime, anywhere.

Whether your desire is to become the next business leader, learn a new language, or hack the world of traveling, we’ve collected the best websites to learn new things online.

Enjoy!

 

Business

1. CreativeLIVE

Take free creative classes from the world’s top experts. Learn new things from business, photography, marketing, negotiation, and more.

2. Investopedia

Investopedia is the ultimate resource for understanding finance, trading stocks, market analysis, and free trading simulators.

3. Bigger Pockets

Bigger Pockets is the premiere social network for learning and understanding everything there is about real estate investing.

4. Mixergy

Leading show for entrepreneurs bringing on top business leaders to hear their story.

5. General Assembly

Online and in-person classes to learn coding, marketing, business, and more.

6. Skillshare

Online classes and projects that unlock your creativity.

 

Foreign Language

7. Duolingo

Learn a language for free.

8. Memrise

Use flashcards to learn vocabulary.

9. Rype

Your personal trainer for languages. Get unlimited 1-on-1 private language lessons online from top professional teachers around the world.

 

Academics

10. Khan Academy

Khan Academy hosts over 1,500+ videos lessons covering everything from basic arithmetic and algebra to differential equations, physics, chemistry, biology and finance.

11. ITunesU

Hundreds of universities — including Stanford, Yale and MIT — distribute lectures, slide shows, PDFs, films, exhibit tours and audio books through iTunes U.  The Science section alone contains content on topics including agriculture, astronomy, biology, chemistry, physics, ecology and geography.

12. EdX

Free online courses from the world’s best universities. Includes MIT, Harvard, and Berkeley.

 

Technology

13. Treehouse

Treehouse offers lessons to learn basic HTML, coding apps, building websites, and much more.

14. Udacity

Earn a Nanodegree recognized by industry leaders.

15. Coursera

Take free online classes from 120+ top universities and educational organizations. Includes Stanford, Yale, and Princeton.

16. Lynda

Lynda is a LinkedIn company that offers courses to learn new things such as software, creative, and business skills. Start today and get 30 days free of 1000’s of courses!

17. Codeacademy

Learn to code interactively, for free. With a community over 25 million, Codecademy proves to be a powerful platform to learn multiple languages of code.

18. One Month

One month offers personalized coding lessons on various topics that are designed to be completed in 30 days.

 

Health & Fitness

19. Calm

Calmness on-demand. Get guided meditation practice in less than 10 minutes.

20. Bodybuilding

Workout, nutrition, and fitness tips by health experts online.

21. Livestrong

Online magazine that shares great tips on how to be healthier.

 

Travel

22. Nomadicmatt

Learn how to travel the world for $50 USD a day using tips from a nomad.

23. Matador Network

Online travel magazine that shares stories, tips, and deals on traveling smarter.

24. Lonely Planet

City guides, tips, and community for travellers around the world.

25. Wandering Trader

Advice on travel and making money online through trading.

 

You’ve read 25 Best Websites to Learn New Skills Online, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 6 Ways to Love Yourself, For Better Mental Health, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Do you find yourself always putting other people first, even if that means you miss out on things you want to do, or you end up over worked and stressed? Even when we do get a moment alone, we still seem to always be giving ourselves a hard time. We’ve become experts at putting ourselves down and picking out our flaws. We wouldn’t do it to other people and so why do we constantly do it to ourselves?

If you’re feeling unhappy, or stressed, there are a number of ways to help improve your overall state of mind. But to really battle our behaviour, we need to start by learning to love ourselves. Here are 6 important suggestions to really help you love yourself, unconditionally:

1. Don’t set conditions
   

   Many of us will not love ourselves until we reach our perfect weight, get the perfect job or find the perfect boyfriend. Unfortunately, perfection is not always realistic and therefore these goals are out of reach. Forget the conditions and learn to love yourself just the way you are.

2. Be kind to yourself

   Start by letting go of negative thoughts about yourself. Instead of criticizing everything you do, say something positive about yourself, every single day. Write it down and carry it around with you, or put it on your bathroom mirror so you see it as soon as you wake up in the morning. It’s also important to remember that everyone is different and so stop comparing yourself to others. Plus, if you make any mistakes, remember not to beat yourself up about them for months on end. Learn to forgive yourself and move forward.

3. Put yourself first
   

   The phrase “you need to love yourself before you can love someone else” is really applicable here and it doesn’t just apply to relationships. In order to be the best you can be, you need to love yourself first. So, instead of going after the dream job in the hope that it will make you happy, focus on self-love. It will give you the courage and strength to then go on achieve those dreams for real and be truly happy.

4. Look after yourself

   Your physical health and your mental health go hand in hand. Switch off technology and make time for exercise. This could be a simple walk, joining a class at your local gym, or something more adventurous. Exercise can help you clear your mind and it releases feel-good hormones. Follow this up with good nutrition and don’t forget sleep. Although it can feel like a waste of time, especially when you have an uncontrollable to-do list, our bodies and minds need these 8 hours to rest and rejuvenate.

5. Take time for yourself

   Don’t feel bad about taking some time back just for yourself. Use it to do something you love, from getting outdoors, to taking up a hobby, or sitting back with a good book to recharge your batteries.

6. Be more mindful
   

   Instead of getting bogged down by everything that is going on around you, take some time to focus inwards. Meditation can help you take a step back from life and make you more focused. It can leave you in a better position to make decisions that put you first.

Choose one or two of these suggestions and see where it takes you. It can be surprising how much of an effect simply appreciating ourselves can have on our lives. But this shouldn’t just be a onetime event. It’s important for you to continue to love yourself every single day. It requires dedication but it will be worth it to see your happiness and dreams unfold around you.

Have you been putting yourself at the bottom of your priority list? We’ve love to know what one thing you plan on doing to love yourself more. Tweet us at @PickTheBrain.

 

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Elizabeth Harmon is a writer for Open Colleges, one of Australia’s leading online education providers. She is also a Social Media Consultant with a number of years’ experience in the field. She has worked with a growing list of clients around the world, helping to build successful social media strategies, create effective content and much more. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Harmon.

You’ve read 6 Ways to Love Yourself, For Better Mental Health, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 10 Things You’ll Never Hear A Great Leader Say, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We’ve all had a boss or manager who has said things that either made us lose respect for them, or made us feel about an inch tall. As you begin your journey as a leader in the business world, it is important to keep these bad experiences in mind to be sure you don’t make the same mistakes.

Here we have compiled a list of 10 things you’ll never hear a great leader say. We all make mistakes, but saying any of these phrases to an employee will no doubt lose you their respect, and fast.

1. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”

Using this phrase is a quick way to let your employee know that you really don’t value their feelings or opinion, since it’s about the most unapologetic apology a person can make. Rather than saying something like this, a great leader will make an effort to understand where their employee is coming from. Make sure your employees know you value them and will listen when they come to you—this will make for a much more positive and healthy work environment.

2. “It’s Not Personal, It’s Business”

Since there is no way that this phrase could ever be used to follow up a positive comment, it’s probably best not to use it and add insult to injury. While it will be necessary to have difficult conversations with employees from time to time, it is important to keep things as positive as possible, rather than focusing on the negative. Coaching employees to success is a critical part of your role as a leader, and negativity will never have the desired effect. Also, regardless of the situation, it’s almost impossible for anyone to not take an insult directed at them personally.

3. “It’s Not My Fault”

No one likes to be around, let alone work for, someone who won’t take responsibility. A great leader leads by example and will be the first to step up and accept an equal amount of blame when necessary. Pushing off blame onto others is a quick way to lose respect and create a toxic work environment.

4. “I Did It”

The opposite of a leader who pushes everything off on their employees is the one who likes to take all of the credit. A strong leader will share success with their employees, and make sure they are recognized for their contributions. Teamwork training is an essential element in any work environment, and it’s just as important for the boss to take part as every other employee.

5. “You Don’t Understand, Do You?”

There is probably no faster way to make an employee feel stupid and worthless than using this phrase. An employee knows when they’ve done something wrong or made a mistake—rather than demeaning them and pointing out their flaws, a true leader will help turn those weaknesses into strengths.

6. “Because I Said So”

It is likely that you’ve heard this phrase at least once in your life, probably from a parent. Can you imagine hearing it from your boss? A good leader will use strategic leadership to encourage their employees, making sure everyone understands why things are done a certain way, and being open to suggestions from others.

7. “That’s the Way I’ve Always Done It”

One of the most important things you can do as an employer is listen to your employees. If an employee thinks there might be a better way of handling customer relations or some other aspect of your business they know a lot about, you should hear them out and consider their opinion. The best leaders are always looking for better ways of doing things and are open to suggestions.

8. “I’ll Do It Myself”

As the PIC at your business, it may seem easier at times to try to handle everything yourself. You’re the only one who can do it right, right? Wrong. You obviously saw something in these people that made you hire them in the first place—show them you trust them by letting them shoulder some of the responsibility. When an employee feels trusted and respected, they’ll do much better work than if they feel like you think they can’t do anything right.

9.  “Your Performance Can Make or Break the Company”

It’s incredibly unlikely that the fate of your company rests on the shoulders of one single employee, so don’t put that kind of pressure on them. With some strategic thinking, you can undoubtedly find something more motivating to tell your employees. Putting unrealistic and undue stress on your employees will eventually lead to the downfall of your company, and that will be completely your fault.

10. “I’m In Charge”

Your employees obviously know who’s in charge when it comes to your business, and you declaring yourself to be does nothing more than make you look like a dictator. To have success in business, you need to foster an environment where all employees regularly participate in teamwork training and work on team building skills. This includes you. The greatest leaders make sure their employees know they don’t consider themselves any better than the people who work for them.

The takeaway? Think before you speak.

If at any point you find yourself struggling with any of these phrases, take the time to step back and focus on your leadership development—there are countless leadership seminars available to help. Treat your employees the way you’d want a boss to treat you—if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

 

You’ve read 10 Things You’ll Never Hear A Great Leader Say, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How Focusing on Strengths Instead of Weaknesses Changes Your Brain, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The key to human development is building on who you already are”
― Tom Rath

Let me ask you a question.

How many of your New Year’s resolutions focus on fixing a weakness?

My guess is most of them.

Am I right?

It’s human nature to focus on our shortcomings. And by doing so, we sabotage ourselves.

Research clearly shows that people experience faster growth and development when they nurture their strengths instead of correcting their shortcomings.

The Power of nurturing our strengths

As a Harvard Business Review shows, once people focused on their strengths, they felt more satisfied with their lives and believed in new possibilities. All in all, they became happier.

And this goes for focusing on strengths in the form of talents and natural abilities as well as having positive feelings and trusting in yourself too. Often one is influencing the other.

Let’s review a real-life example.

I am quite musical. I play the piano, and I also sing in a choir. I had a solo part in December and took some private vocal lessons to give my best. I enjoy this. I don’t mind putting lots of work and hours into rehearsals. After every rehearsal, I feel happy and refreshed. And I was thrilled to realize that I improved.

On the other hand, when I have to draw something, I feel like a total loser. Even after learning some techniques, I am still frustrated that nothing I draw turns out the way I want. I feel like I want to jump and stomp on my artwork, and then throw it out of the window. It frustrates me. And I’m not having any fun.

Can you see what I mean?

In both cases, I am putting effort and energy into something. I learn techniques, and I try to improve.

But with music, I’m having fun. I see real improvement that leads to something great, which I can perform and present to other people. It leaves me happy, satisfied, and with a feeling of achievement.

With drawing, I’m not having any fun – at all. After putting lots of energy and time into improving this skill, the result is still crap, and I can’t present it to anyone. I feel like I’ve wasted precious time. It leaves me frustrated, discouraged, and moody; even when I try to move on to something else, the negative feelings carry over.

How what we focus on affects our brains

 

What I described in the examples truly affects our lives, our successes, our happiness, and how we perceive ourselves. Where we direct our focus affects our brains.

Focusing on our weakness makes our brains believe that we are not good enough

Whatever we think of most becomes stronger and more powerful in our brains. So, if we think of our weaknesses, they become stronger in our brains, to the point that our brains make us believe that we are our weaknesses and that we are not good enough.

 Focusing on our weaknesses stresses our brains

Spending every day being reminded of what we’re not good at is frustrating. And it stresses the brain. So all of the brain’s functions are reduced to one simple activity: surviving the present situation.

The brain does only what guarantees survival and uses only what it knows. In no way is the brain able to use all of its areas and capacity to visualize and be creative at this stage. Stress reduces and blocks all that.

Focusing on our strengths opens our minds

If we do the opposite and think about our strengths, our brains let us believe that we are strong. We can use more areas of our brains, and our minds open up to new options. Our brains are also more open to learning new skills and new knowledge.

Only a positive, happy, and relaxed brain can be truly creative and think freely.

Focusing on our strengths increases our brain activity

Focusing as part of practicing a strength and talent improves this specific talent. Improvement is success, to the point of mastering the talent. And the more we experience success, the higher brain activity we’ll have. This activity changes our brains. It increases motivation, self-esteem, and happiness.

Focusing on our strengths releases dopamine

Doing what we’re good and strong at is usually accompanied with enjoying what we’re doing. This releases a molecule in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine in the brain provides feelings of pure happiness. It motivates us to continue doing what we’re doing. In addition, dopamine makes the brain be alert and able to react faster to new information.

Focusing on our strengths is not an easy way out

Don’t misunderstand what focusing on strengths means. It’s not an excuse to do only what you feel like. It’s not an excuse for avoiding hard work. Building your talents into real strengths requires practice and hard work, much like building physical strength does. It is your ticket to success, but it won’t happen by itself.

How can we find our strengths and talents?

 

OK! You got it! It’s great to focus on strengths. But you might still wonder what exactly your strengths are. Do you have strengths and talents at all? Maybe you feel more like someone who can’t do anything well.

Well, everyone has a unique set of talents and strengths. Yes, everyone. That includes you. Some strengths are obvious; some are not so obvious.

You can discover your strengths in several ways:

1. Ask your friends and family. Tell them to be absolutely honest with you. They probably know you better than you might want to acknowledge. They can tell you if you’re empathetic and a good listener, if you give great advice, or if you are organized. They can tell you if you’re creative or into details when decorating the house or planning a trip, or if you are a talented story teller.
2. Observe yourself. What do you truly enjoy doing? What tasks make you forget the time and wish you could do them forever? Don’t think what would look good or cool or give you lots of appreciation. Think of yourself. You have your own special set of strengths.
3. Do a professional test. Great tests are out there. The Gallup strength finder is quite popular, but you can do other great tests like “The best possible self” or “MBTI – Meyers Briggs.” A professional test gives you a lot to think about and points you in the right direction. Of course, these kinds of tests have to generalize a little. So please keep that in mind.
4. Work with a coach, if you want to invest a little more. A coach will help you make sense of your test results and help you implement them and develop a plan for the future.

If you’re not into tests, you can work with a coach where you analyze, ask questions, and roll play. Just make sure the coach is experienced, maybe even certified. By law, everyone is allowed to call themselves a coach. So choose wisely.

 Final thoughts

You’ve seen clear proof that focusing on your strengths changes your brain, opens your mind, and releases stress.

Your strength is what sets you up for a positive life full of possibilities, creativity, and happiness.

If focusing on your strengths is your way to happiness and success, why would you still focus on your shortcomings and waste your time with it?

Forget about obsessing over your shortcomings.

You have a unique set of talents and strengths.

Use them!

You’ve read How Focusing on Strengths Instead of Weaknesses Changes Your Brain, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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