What is it about the super successful that differentiates them from the rest of us? Without a doubt, luck and God-given talent play a big part, but surely there’s more to the equation than just that?

To get a better idea of exactly what that extra factor may be, I’ve talked to 4 people who have all excelled in their chosen fields, achieving amazing things that the rest of us can only dream of. These people are:

Jordan Canar – a professional bodybuilder, fitness model and elite trainer from England, who is already making waves in the fitness world despite his young age. Jordan is not his real name, as he asked that we keep him anonymous for reasons which will become evident later on.

Mark Pearson – a self-made multi-millionaire and award winning digital entrepreneur who built his company, MyVoucherCodes, singlehandedly, from nothing. Mark is also an angel investor for a number of fledgling start-ups and is passionate about incubating entrepreneurial talent in the UK.

Donna Chung – a Chinese/Australian clarinet player who has performed with a number of leading international orchestras, including the Berlin philharmonic.

Jason Wallien – a Zambian polyglot who has mastered 4 languages to native proficiency: Russian, English, Spanish and Chinese. He is currently developing a new language learning system that he says will be a radical departure from the way we usually learn languages in the West.

I interviewed the 4 experts hoping that it would give me an insight into what kind of habits, personalities and attitudes successful people have. While the experts held vastly different attitudes towards many of things we discussed, the following 5 traits were common to them all:

They Make Sacrifices

During our discussions, I saw a side to success that we don’t often see in Forbes articles and inspiring biographies: namely the huge sacrifices successful people make to pursue their goals. In the case of our experts, none of them live anything resembling a “normal” life, and their success has come at the cost of many things that most people value:

Jordan – Bodybuilder

“The biggest impact has definitely been on my social life. Before I started competing I was always out with my friends, meeting girls and partying. These days, I let myself go at most once every couple of months, and even then I feel really guilty about drinking too much. The worst thing is, I feel distant from my friends and often feel like I’m missing out on lots of stuff because I can’t join them for mad nights out.”

Jason – Polygot

“I feel that unless I really immerse myself in a language and a culture, I’ll never get to the level I want to be at. When my Mandarin reached a certain level, I knew that without moving to China and speaking it every day I would never improve.

I left behind a fantastic job, a flat I loved and almost blew my savings so that I could go and learn. I did similar things when learning (other languages), but back then I was younger, either a student or a recent grad, so I had far fewer responsibilities. The decision to move to China was definitely a hard one, and I sometimes do worry that by making such a rash decision at this point in my life, it may have hurt my future.”

Mark – Entrepreneur

“I actually trained as a chef when I was young, and even got the opportunity to work in Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen, which definitely gave my career a big boost. I built upon that by starting a number of restaurants and gastropubs of my own, and while I was very proud of those successes, I wanted to move onto something more ambitious and more scalable. I pretty much gave up everything so I could concentrate solely on MyVoucherCodes (MVC). Putting MVC together, I didn’t leave my bedroom for years – I just put all my time and energy into building it from the ground up. It was undoubtedly a big risk, and a fairly scary time in my life, if I’m honest!”

They Never Stop Learning

Having achieved amazing feats in their chosen areas, the experts would have been forgiven for holding themselves in high regard, or perhaps even being a little arrogant.

However, all four were far more humble than I would have expected, and while they were all proud of what they had achieved, and confident in their abilities, their focus wasn’t on what they could do, but what they could improve upon.

Jordan – Bodybuilder

“I placed 2^nd in my last competition, which was my first professional outing, so I’m insanely proud of that. However, the best thing about the competition is that it also helped me see where my weaknesses are. Besides a stricter diet and a more intelligent training regime, I feel that what will really help me next season will be my new gym. I was very much the big fish in a small pond in my old gym, but I’ve recently moved to a more specialist bodybuilding gym. It’s great, because everyone there is in incredible shape. Everywhere you look, you see someone you can learn from; a guy with a great chest, or a guy with brilliant delt definition. Surrounding myself with guys at the top of their game will help me get to the top of mine.”

 Donna – Musician

“I gave up a great place in an orchestra so that I could return to studying. As a musician, there can be no limit to your skills, you are never as good as your potential, so it is important that you continue developing as an artist. Only the most arrogant people think that they no longer need to learn and practise, and it is always those people that end up making mistakes in their careers and letting themselves down.”

Jason – Polyglot

“I think one trap which a lot of language learners fall into is getting ‘good enough’. You meet no end of people who have lived in, for example, America for 20 years, but can still only speak broken English. After a couple of years they get to a level where their English is passable, and so they stop improving. The thing about learning a foreign language is that you’ll never stop improving; you’ll never be perfect. You’re always going to mess things up, not understand certain words and almost certainly not know idioms.

Sure, I’m fluent in Russian, Spanish and Chinese, but what exactly does ‘fluent’ means? I’m still always going to continue reading in those languages and practising whenever I can because I’m still always going to make mistakes.”

They’re Not Afraid to Push Their Boundaries

Once you get good at something, it’s easy to spend all of your time concentrating on that one thing. After-all, success and achievement is addictive so it can be tempting to spend your time doing something you excel at, rather than try out something new and risk failure.

However, it’s very easy to get stuck in a self-congratulatory “feedback loop” by focusing on your strengths while neglecting your weaknesses. However, by pushing themselves out of their comfort zones, all 4 of the experts have managed to push themselves to achieve great things.

Donna – Musician

“From a very early age, I concentrated on classical music and classical playing, which means that although my technique is very good, I am lacking in certain skills such as improvisation. When I went back to studying, I decided that I would spend my extra time learning more about jazz and getting into that world. Playing with jazz musicians was very scary, especially considering that I had just come from playing for one of the world’s best orchestras, so I felt like I had this certain expectation to fulfil.

I’m so glad I put in the extra effort and threw myself into a kind of music that I feared, as I feel like it has not only added another skill to my playing, but it has made my playing more fluid and exciting too.”

Jordan – Bodybuilder

“I’m never in my comfort zone. Your body adapts to the stresses you put on it extremely quickly, so if you want to keep growing and keep getting bigger, you have no choice but to change up your training all the time. I make sure that instead of just going back to the same old exercises which I know, I always try and do new movements which work my muscles in different ways – whether that is a different kind of weight lifting manoeuvre or something completely different like yoga, which I’ve recently started getting into.

Once you start getting comfortable, you’ll never progress!”

Mark – Entrepreneur

“We’re constantly looking at ways to change how MVC works, and what it offers – both to consumers and to our partners.

The internet, and right now mobile commerce, is completely changing the way people buy stuff, and while it has given us an incredible opportunity, it also means that we need to stay ahead of the curve if we’re to take full advantage of those opportunities.”

They Hold Off Immediate Gains for Long Term Benefit

Thanks to an innate evolutionary hangover known as hyperbolic discounting, most people will take an immediate gain over waiting for a bigger one. For example, when offered $50 right now, or $100 in a year’s time, the vast majority of people will opt for the $50. However, the ability to hold out for the bigger pay-off is yet another trait which our experts shared.

Jason – Polyglot

“Becoming truly fluent in a language requires a very different approach to learning. The way most people learn a language, and the way we’re taught to learn languages at school, is by simply learning stock phrases and vocab, building upon both until they have a bank of words memorised so that they can reel them off, parrot-style, to communicate. Learning this way definitely has its benefits, as you can learn a lot and progress very quickly, but invariably you hit a wall, where your grammar and understanding of the actual language itself limits you.

Instead, I take the slow but steady route. I spend a long time building a strong foundation – learning grammatical rules, exhausting the different connotations of any word I learn and really making sure that I understand every aspect of what I learn. It means that while it takes weeks and months before I start making any practical headway, my learning is exponential, and once the foundation is in place I progress much faster than the people who learn the conventional way.”

Jordan – Bodybuilder

“I definitely train for the long game. People often ask me ‘how can I get huge as quickly as possible?’ and the only answer is steroids. I’m not morally opposed to taking steroids and have done in the past – the reason I don’t (take them) anymore is because of the health risks. By health risks I don’t mean the ‘you’re going to have a massive heart attack and your balls will drop off’ stuff spouted by people who don’t know what they’re talking about, but the effect steroids have on your tendons and ability to keep lifting. Steroids make your muscles grow at a rate much faster than your tendons can keep up with, which means that for a lot of bodybuilders, they end up injuring themselves when on a steroid cycle.

Over time these injuries add up, and are responsible for ending many a promising career. I want to lift for as long as possible, so my priority is growing at a rate I can control so I can keep lifting. This might mean that I have to work twice as hard for twice as long, and will never get as big as the Mr Olympia guys, but I will hopefully have a longer career as a men’s physique model.”

They Have a Unique Attitude towards Failure

Failure in any pursuit is almost inevitable, be it a disastrous gig for a rock band, a nasty tumble for a mountain biker or a pulled hamstring for a footballer. However, a person’s approach to failure can have more of an influence on their success than almost any other factor. For many, failure guts their confidence and motivation. However, in contrast, our experts all shared a more novel attitude towards the set-backs they’ve had in their careers.

Donna – Musician

“I wanted to give up music after my first auditions for conservatoires and music schools. I was always very good at playing at home, or in front of my teacher or family, but as soon as I had to play in front of people I couldn’t do it. I used to feel so sick in my stomach, turn completely red and forget everything.

I was so embarrassed and ashamed after failing to get into anywhere the first time round, but all my friends and music teachers rallied around me and we built up my confidence in front of people until I could play. Even to this day, after hundreds of performances I still feel so nervous and scared before big concerts and sometimes even think about quitting! I’m joking about quitting, but it’s definitely something I’ve had to beat to get here.”

Jordan – Bodybuilder

“When I first started getting into fitness, I injured myself really badly, completely ripping a hamstring due to a mixture of bad technique and too much ambition. I was at the gym for hours every day and my body just couldn’t cope with the stress I was putting it under.

The injury put me out of action for months, and I became quite depressed about it all, giving up my strict diet and just giving up on getting into shape. Even after my leg was fully healed, it still took me a couple of months to get myself together and give it another shot. I’m so glad I did, because otherwise I have no idea what I would be doing with myself.”

 

Despite working in vastly different areas, and achieving what they have through different means, it is very telling that these 5 traits have played a formative role in each of their lives and careers. As a complete blueprint for success, these 5 lessons may be lacking, but as life lessons for those who want to emulate the successes of our experts, they may just be invaluable.

About Jonathan

Jonathan Chee is a writer, entrepreneur and video game designer from Hong Kong. When he’s not up to his neck in video game code, he enjoys learning languages and cooking. Connect with him and learn more about his video games here.

The post 5 Key Traits Super Successful People Share appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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It’s about a month into 2015 and, statistically speaking, you’ve probably already given up on your new goals for the year. According to the University of Scranton, only 8% of people are actually successful in achieving their New Years Resolutions.

The rest of us are left frustrated, defeated, and reaching for Bon-Bons.

In my wellness business I interact with clients who are constantly trying to achieve the same health goal. Whether it’s a goal to lose weight, workout more, or simply eat more fruits and vegetables, a client will set and re-set that same specific goal for themselves. Every. Single. Year.

This is also true when it comes to other aspects of our life, beyond our health. Relationships, money, and our careers are all typical targets for our “Repeat Goal List.”

I can certainly relate. I’m not ashamed to admit I was a repeat offender.

For years, I would stare at my cubicle walls, dreaming of a way out. Each year would bring the same New Years Resolution: to leave my corporate job and launch my own business. One that I loved to wake up to. One that allowed me to follow my passions. But every year, the time would pass, and nothing would change.

Here’s the thing about your New Years Resolutions…you have great intentions. But intentions aren’t enough.

The reason you can’t reach your goals is because you don’t believe you can.

Let me re-state that. The REAL reason you never complete your goals is because you don’t believe in yourself and your ability.

Ding-ding, guilty as charged. My former cubicle life is a perfect example of this. The good news? You can overcome it. If I was able to finally cross off my own repeat resolution for good (and leave the corporate world for entrepreneurship), you can too.

What is it that YOU want? Better health and wellbeing, a career change, greater relationships, etc?

Guess what – you can have it. You just have to believe it. Keep reading for the 3 steps to finally reach your goals (for the last time).

How To Finally Reach Your Goals (For the Last Time): 3 Steps

Step One: Tell Everyone About It

As much as you hesitate to broadcast your goal to the world, this is necessary part of your success. Tell your spouse and your friends. Tell the mailman. Heck you should even post about it on social media. This is not just for accountability – this is for the external support you receive from your circle of influence. Because even if you don’t believe that you can achieve your goal (inner belief), your friends and family will reassure you that you can (outer belief).

Step Two: Visualize Your Ideal Outcome and Work Backwards

What do you want to look like? How do you want to feel? Whatever it is that you want, whether it is a small goal like losing 5 pounds, or a larger goal of quitting your job and launching a small business, look at the end result first. Then, work backwards in time to the present. What mini steps will you need to make from now until then? Write out each and ever step you’ll make along the way.

Step Three: Commit and Take One Step at a Time

No goal can be reached without first making a commitment. Commit to yourself that no matter what, you will stick with your resolution. No hurdle will stand in the way of your change and your goals. Take one step forward at a time, only focusing on one small movement. Your small movements will add up to an incredible and life-changing achievement. Go YOU!

The year just started. Did you already quit your new goals? It’s not too late to re-set your resolution again (for the final time).

Jessica Lauren DeBry is a Wellness Coach and Lifestyle Designer. She is the Creator of the Simple Savvy Healthy movement, a Vegan Foodie, and a Soul-Centered Entrepreneur. Jessica is on a mission to encourage YOU that you can create and design your ideal life from the inside out. Join her at JessicaLaurenDeBry.com or download her FREE 3-Part Simple Savvy Healthy Guide here.

The post The REAL Reason You Struggle to Reach Your Goals appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Everyone is obsessed with how successful people start their day.
And if you’ve decided to do something about the quality of your life, you’ll start working on developing a morning routine and trying different versions of it.

But we seem to forget that what productive people – those who work each day to achieve what they want and have hacked so many areas of their life – do before they go to bed is as important.

The evening routine is one of the most underestimated habits, and yet an absolute must when it comes down to changing how your day goes and whether you want to get stuff done.

A nighttime ritual affects your sleep and the mood you’ll be in when you get up, and thus becomes the foundation of your whole day.

It’s a wind down period and there are many things you can do at that time.

The actual routine starts an hour or two before going to bed, and you must turn it into a regular thing done in a certain hour if you want to see changes in your energy level, productivity, mood and motivation.

Here’s what you can include in it:

1. A walk.

Go for a short walk in the evening. It will help you leave everything behind and stop thinking about the workday.
It will be quiet time for yourself, without any distractions. And you can use it to reflect on different things that interest you or to just empty your mind and enjoy the silence.

2. Asses your day.

Every single night Benjamin Franklin took the time to make an examination of the day. And it helped him stay focused on what he was doing, see if he’s making progress, understand where he needs to improve something and whether or not he’s happy with the results.

It’s a great thing to do at the end of the day as a part of your evening routine.
It takes 5-10 minutes but helps you evaluate your day’s work and have control over your goals, tasks and progress.

3. Read.

Many great people read right before they go to sleep.

It’s a good thing to do at the end of your ritual, and even in bed. The reading process itself will help you fall asleep faster, if you struggle with that.

And what your book will be about is your choice. But it’s important to leave the digital devices for tomorrow and have the company of a real book now.

Also, this can be another opportunity to learn new stuff, get inspired, generate ideas or challenge your mind with some philosophical topics.

4. Meditate.

A short meditation session is a great thing to include in your morning routine, but it has an even greater effect when done twice a day.

So set aside a few minutes and just sit still. Let your thoughts flow naturally and don’t try to focus on some or ignore others.

Then try to let go of all that. Because it’s past now. You need to empty your mind and eliminate those regrets and worries for the past day if you want to go to sleep in peace and start the next day fresh.

5. Unplug.

Turn off everything around you. You only need your alarm.

A good nighttime ritual’s purpose is to let you sleep well and that means no notifications, sounds, lights or other interruptions.

6. Affirmations.

Another powerful moment of the day, when your mind is as susceptible as in the morning, is before going to sleep. So add some mantras.
These positive affirmations (which you can say in the mirror for a better result) will stay in your mind when you sleep and will influence your confidence, belief in yourself, goals and dreams and how dedicated you are to them.

So let yourself know one more time before you go to bed that you can achieve whatever it is that you put your mind to, that each day you’re getting closer to your dreams, that you’re staying focused on what’s important and aren’t allowing others to direct your life.

7. Journal.

Why can’t the morning pages be done in the evening too?

Share what’s bothering you on a piece of paper, write down everything important that happened throughout the day and analyze how it affected you. Think about how you felt and whether you completed your tasks for the day.

Or just write about the things that come to your mind, positive thoughts, big plans for the next few weeks, etc.

8. Plan your next day.

That’s a simple and quick thing many leaders do each night and it helps them to get ready for the next day and know what they have to do right after they wake up, so that they won’t waste any time and can just start working on it.

So spare a few minutes to make a to-do list, think of all the tasks – big or small – you need to get done tomorrow, even the non-essential ones.

This way you won’t need to remember anything and will know exactly how the next day will go.

9. MIT’s.

Now decide which the 3 most important tasks are.

They must be things that are urgent, that are connected to your goals and that you really want to accomplish and will affect you as a person and your future.

Now try to break them into smaller tasks, then figure out what you need to do first and make it easy and simple. This way you won’t have an excuse not to go all the way and complete them.

And then, if you’re really motivated to succeed, you’ll get up early, do your morning routine and start working on these 3 right away.

10. Thank.

Now that the day’s over and you’re headed to bed, take a minute to say thank you.

Go through all the opportunities you had, the nice people you met, the work you did and the goals you worked on, the nice meals you had and the great chats you had time for in that day, and be grateful.

Now you’re ready to move on to the next day, where even more beautiful things will be waiting for you.

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Lidiya K. is a writer and blogger in the fields of self-improvement, life hacking, human potential and minimalism. She’s the creator of Let’s Reach Success , where her mission is to motivate and inspire and think of creative and unusual ways to overcome fear, procrastination, insecurity, clutter, failure, overthinking, discontent and much more.

The post 10 Things to Do Before You Go to Bed appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Creating and sticking to a work routine allows us to manage it much better. We feel stable doing the same things every day, but we often don’t realize that some of our habits may impede on our productivity. What’s worse, we may even think that they help our efficiency.

Here are 10 common habits people think are productivity-boosting, but really aren’t at all.

1. Stop smoking

It would be great if people inhaled productivity skills with a smoke, but let’s be realistic – that is not what actually happens! In fact, your concentration decreases from one cigarette break to another. You don’t gain any extra concentration or productivity; instead, you come back to work with further distraction.

Moreover, you can’t focus when you’re anxious to take your next smoke break. If you would like to be more productive and happy about your work, you should quit smoking or do not smoke during work hours.

2. Limit your daily coffee consumption

We all love coffee! However, we also forget that coffee stimulates our brains only at certain doses. An acceptable daily amount for healthy people is roughly 400 mg, about four cups of brewed coffee. Within this limit, coffee can stimulate areas in your brain responsible for planning, attention, and concentration.

When you exceed the recommended amount, it can have the opposite effect: caffeine can cause feelings of anxiousness, irritability, and restlessness, so be mindful to not exceed four cups a day.

3. Select appropriate music

What you listen during workday is up to you. When you choose music that you know and enjoy, your brain produces dopamine that can you more excitable, rather than focused.

Instead, choose soothing music such as classical or ambient. Avoid albums you are familiar with – find something new that will help you relax and act as quiet background noise, which has been proven to help boost focus.

4. Limit rewards

When you accomplish your task (i.e., writing a guest post), you may reflect on how difficult or time consuming it was, and decide that you need a break. That may be true, but you have to be careful.

You drink a cup of coffee, have a little chat, browse Facebook for five minutes, make a sandwich, and before you know it one reward has turned into several. Try to figure out what your single reward will look like. Choose a specific reward and period of time for your break and stick to it!

5. Separate learning from working

Learning is vital to developing and increasing your business. You should learn as much as you can and apply what you learn in practice. You cannot allow learning to distract from the work you need to complete, though. Set aside special dates that you will devote to learning only.

6. Communicate in silence

Keeping in touch with other team members can be productive, as you can get answers quickly and get back to the task at hand. However, it can be extremely harmful to your productivity when a single question turns into off-topic discussion and soon enough, everyone is distracted from their work. A great solution is to utilize Skype or other employee communication tools such as instant messaging to communicate quickly and efficiently.

7. Avoid unnecessary meetings

Meetings enable us to share ideas, but they can also be time and productivity killers. If possible, try to change the structure of meetings in your firm. In order to lead a productive meeting that doesn’t waste valuable office hours, set a time, agenda and objectives for the meeting. Invite the appropriate people (don’t invite copywriters to a developers meeting), and be prepared to lead your attendees through the agenda and keep everyone on topic.

8. Don’t get distracted by less important tasks

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” wrote Henry D. Thoreau and he was 100% right. Stop working on everything. It happens all too often that you have to quickly answer an email, solve a ticket, and correct something else while you are working on your key task.

Group your tasks from the most important to least important. Get used to working with a notepad open and write down all the little things that come to mind – you can handle them later.

9. Go home when you’re done

Don’t be the person who confuses working hard with working smart. Some people sit at the office until late at night, trying to convince themselves and others that they are being extremely productive. In reality, they are overworked, overwhelmed, and distracted.

Follow the golden rule: do not work a minute more than you have to.  Go home, spend time with family, set aside time for hobbies you enjoy, and rest. It is not about doing the most work, but doing your work very well.

10. Make friends with the word “no”

When you say yes to every request for help, it will appear that you are very busy. However, you are very busy doing everyone else’s work without being able to give your own tasks the proper time and attention.

It may be difficult to say no, but it will get easier with time. Some people may take offense, but you need to prioritize your own work above helping others complete theirs. If you have time when your own tasks are finished, it is perfectly fine to assist a co-worker in need but you need to keep your own productivity as a priority.

If you struggle with things such as excessive coffee consumption or being easily distracted at work, I hope this article is valuable to you. If you enjoyed reading, or if you know of other good habits for productivity, please let me know in comments below! Do you know someone who has problems like these? Share this post! Thank you!

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Jan Godlewski, creative writer at TimeCamp. Jan writes about productivity hacks, self-growth, time tracking and project management.

The post 10 Silent Productivity Killers You Should Stop Immediately appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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The late afternoon sun hasn’t dried the condensation left on my palm from the now empty Bin Tang bottle. I place the bottle on the table solidly, hoping my friends recognize the hollow thud. It’s the sound a beer bottle makes before the holder creates a reason to leave. “I gotta go watch the sun set.” I say excusing myself.

On vacations I force myself to find time for personal reflection (even if it means leaving a table of friends). It would waste my money and time to fly around the world and not learn while on vacation. Watching the sun set is when I reflect on the learning opportunities I’ve had each day of my vacation.

1. I’ve seen how quickly travel friends are made. Vacation time is short and instead of trying to change people I accept them, flaws and all. If I can continue to embrace people’s unique traits (like I do on vacation) I’d be rich with lifelong friends.

2. I’ve observed myself being present. At home I allow distractions because my routine has no definitive end. But I know the date, and even the time, my vacation will end. When vacation limits my time I savour every moment and ignore escapes (Facebook, emails, iPod). I should always live in the now because even at home time is limited.

3. I’ve witnessed those with nothing sharing everything. I look out for my family and myself. That’s why seeing someone from a developing nation (who has nothing compared to me) share their resources evokes my emotion. Seeing their generosity makes me want to be a better person.

4. I’ve listened to people. The people I meet on vacation seem more interesting than the people from home. They have stories I don’t know and experiences I envy. Why can I listen to them more easy than the tweed suit guy from work? Ol’ tweedy may be more inclined to help me out if I give him my complete attention.

5. I’ve taken the time to appreciate compassion. Simple acts of help, like assisting me with directions, make the locals less like a backdrop and more real. I must not forget the kindness of these strangers because I can learn sympathy from them. The inaction of good people is shameful.

6. I’ve decided that it’s okay to forgive myself. Dissimilar cultures order food, greet people, and apply personal hygiene differently. When I travel, I make cultural mistakes (lots of them) and I get over it. Understanding it’s okay for me to make mistakes will teach me leniency when judging others.

7. I’ve reflected, before and after vacation. Before vacation I check-in with myself: am I mentally burnt out, feeling listless, or exhausted? Of course I am, that is why I’m taking vacation. When vacation is over I check-in again. When there is a positive change I figure out why and try to incorporate it into my regular life. That’s how I learn to be happy.

Tim Hirtle is a travel addict bent on clear communication and enjoys the challenge of explaining personal growth in a simple, easy to follow, manner. He is a co-founder of The Travel Type and believes that anyone who takes responsibility for their own life can achieve their dreams. In 2014 Tim left his engineering career to travel full-time and pursue self-development.

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Call this post a rant, but I decided it’s high time I wrote this in-your-face article to let people know what they’re doing wrong.

Time and time again I see my friends acting like, well, kids. It baffles my mind to how somebody around my age, that is 29 can be so insecure that they behave like selfish, needy, erratic and crazy brats.

Life is tough. Life is even unfair, but that doesn’t mean we should keep acting out, believing the world revolves only around us.

My friends, I shouldn’t have to write this, but here are 7 secrets to growing up and maturing into an adult

1) You MUST recognize how you’re coming across and how others perceive you

You have your own thoughts and feelings, but that doesn’t mean people around you think or feel the same way.

So basically, what you say or do has a different meaning to others. It’s important to know how you’re coming across as to others because you don’t want to go downhill and have people judge you and start misunderstanding you to be a selfish person.

Why? Because face it. People are judgmental creatures. Image is important. It’s not going to do you any good if you go down that path of acting your way while entirely coming across as another to others. And yeah, you’ll come across as selfish if you think your way is the only way.

For example, say you’ve had a stressful week at work. You do indeed have the right to whine, rant or complain about it. Do it once, sure, maybe others will think you’re a hard worker. Do it everyday for the week? You’re a whiny brat then, and nobody likes a whiner.

2) Hence, you need to care about what others think too!

Okay I get it. The entire self-help world rages on about not caring about what others think and how that creates an awesome life for you.

But I call a little bullshit on that. To a certain extent, we all do care about others think about us. And how you play with that idea is an art. It’s make the difference between a masterful adult who’s brave enough to lead his life his own way and a stubborn little kid; between the adult who keeps his comments to himself and the kid who is (unknowingly) rude to others and then thinks he’s still right.

Yet, it honestly shouldn’t be that hard.

Care about what others think because you respect others and wish not to harm them. Care because you know others have their own challenges in life and thus the world doesn’t revolve around you. Care because, you care.

Don’t care about what others think because you know it’s just noise trying to drag you down from hitting your own goals and dreams. Don’t care because they’re toxic people. Don’t care because you know you’re own person.

3) Suck it up if it’s just a little pain

Look, this is life. There’re ups and then there’re downs. Not everything goes our way.

And when that happens, it is the adult who accepts it, learns from it, brushes his himself off and move on.

It is the kid who whines, rants and complains loudly about it.

It’s not a big deal if it hurts a little ONLY! So suck it up. It’s not the end of the world and nobody wants to hear it from you more than once.

4) Never hide your pain by trying to hurt others and drag others down

Unfortunately, a lot of people who’re hurting in this world function this way. This is why bullies exist.

I was never really bullied, but I’ve had my fair share of encountering people who thought they could put me down as a way of actually seeking my attention badly. They’d subsequently start justifying why they were acting like jerks and then reveal what their problem was.

So be open about it. A mature adult would be open about his problems and then actively seek the help he needs. A kid would complain, insult and then cry just for the attention.

5) So be vulnerable and learn to apologize

By that extension, an adult would willingly admit that they’re wrong too. An immature person on the other hand would hunt for excuses just to cover up their own mistakes.

Always make amends. Be a man. Be an adult about it. Learn to forgive others too. You’re not always right and you’ve to respect the idea that you screw up and make mistakes too.

Truly, the mark of a real man is one who not only faces those he fears, but also those he has wronged.

6) Never cry for attention on social media

Perhaps I’m a little biased on the way social media works, but I think this has to be said.

An adult seeks feedback on social media. He or she would break out of their comfort zone and expect to be judged as they showcase their work, art or opinion.

If it’s anything less than that, then you’re just crying for attention and seeking weak validation through the currency of likes, shares or comments. This is when you post some passive aggressive status that is vague in its meaning altogether. This is when you feel good because you hear what you want to hear from your friends, the ones who are too nice to tell you what you NEED to hear instead.

Then you call it a day and sweep your problems under the digital rug.

That’s what kids do. Don’t expect to grow up at all if you’re addicted to this.

7) Act and don’t act your age

Ahh. Another idea the self-help world has put on a pedestal, namely, that age is just a number and we should do whatever we want regardless of how old we are.

But honestly, how effective is that? Can we do that for every second in our lives?

Of course not. The world will be a crappier place overnight if adults refuse to act like adults and then start dumping all their responsibilities.

So like not caring about what others think, you’ve to play with this carefully.

Act your age because you need to be responsible and retain accountability in your life, especially if there’re people depending on you. Act your age so you can take charge and help those younger than you.

Yet, shed the ideas around what is expected of your age! Balance it out and start braving life by doing what you really want. Heck, help those older than you too.

Live a fulfilling life yourself. It’s very possible to do that without  shirking your responsibilities.

Okay. Rant over! Help me share this if you know of friends who need to grow up!

Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Want more ways to be mature?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

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Have you ever had to deal with an office bully?  Have you encountered someone in the office who tried to make your life a living hell?  Someone who for no reason choose to sabotage everything you try to do?

No one could have convinced me that office bully existed until I experienced one for myself.  It happened a few years ago while working  at this financial institution  as a junior staff accountant.

During my time there I was asked a few times to fill in for the receptionist since they were short staffed.  I gladly said yes I would when, it wasn’t tax time; I was a tax accountant.  The supervisor of the admin staff was very excited as she needed all the help she could get.

Soon it became a daily occurrence.  It was now affecting my work, and I spoke to my manager and he agreed so I told the admin supervisor that I could no longer help out.  I went about my daily duties but suddenly things started happening that were strange.

I would reserve a conference room to have meeting with my clients and on the day of my meetings the conference room would be occupied by someone else. Other times my meetings would be cancelled without my knowledge and no one could explain why. I would order my sandwiches for my clients, and they would disappear and no one could tell me where and what happened to them.

After this happen a few times, I called the admin supervisor and was informed that she was the one who was making the changes.  She even explained that she took the sandwiches since they were expensive and should not have been ordered for the clients, even though, my boss gave me the permission to order them. I wasn’t happy, but I let it go after our discussion. Being shy and reserved, I took it as just one of those things that happened.

Things started to get from bad to worse.  The copy machine I usually used was locked and required a pass word.  I was directed to one on the third floor.  We were on the seventh floor.  I later realized that everyone had access to the machine on the third floor except  me.

Every request I made  had to be via email and normal conversations were no longer allowed.  The emails I received were often filled with insults and she would refer me to someone else whom she thought would be better able to help since I wasn’t able to follow or comprehend simple instructions.

I felt insulted and humiliated. I tried to convince myself it was all in my head.  I soon realize that she was complaining to my boss about my attitude and reported me as, not being willing to follow instructions.

My boss encouraged me not to repeat the information that was conveyed to him, but that I should remain neutral and continue working hard.  He thought I was a great worker.

After months of cancelled conference room and meetings without my knowledge, unscheduled request to fill in for other duties and rude emails all day I had enough.

I went to her office fuming.  I realized there was a crowd around her computer with all the other staffers from her group standing around her. When they saw me coming, they all ran from the office.  I was a woman on a mission.  I confronted her like I have never done before.  She was shocked and refused to respond even, but I did make my point.

It took my boss, the director of our department and a few others to get me to calm down.  I was embarrassed that I allowed her to get me so angry.  I was always in control, and now I gave someone else my power.  I had to apologize to the directors, my boss and the admin supervisor for my behavior.  Since that day, her treatment towards me changed for the better and things return to normal.

I could book any conference room I wanted, and if she needed to use it, she would call to ask permission to make changes.  I felt good about myself that at last I was standing up for myself and this office bully.  Later, the other staff came to apologize for their part and praised me for confronting her since they knew it was wrong but was afraid to stop it since she was their boss. They too were being bullied.

I have since then left that job, went off to grad school and have moved on, but I no longer tolerate disrespect and abuse from anyone.  I am more confident and self-assured.  I can now stand up for myself and refuse to let anyone including office bullies scare me.   I am a woman on a mission to remain confident.

When confronted with situations like these do not forget to remember that you must:-

Take responsibility for your actions.

Even though, it felt good confronting this woman I felt really bad afterwards. You must think before you act.  There is a right and a wrong way to get things resolved. No one can make you behave the way you do not want to.  You are responsible for your actions and no one else.

Take action to resolve the problems

I did things a bit different and shouldn’t have, but get your supervisors to help or someone above the person acting out.  Never take matters into your hands but do make every effort to have this person discontinue their behavior.

Face your fears

It is very easy to become fearful of the other person due to their position but remember if you do not face your fears and take action they will not stop.  You must be prepared to accept the consequences of the decision you make.

Do not become negative

It would have been very easy for me to become negative and resort to the negativity that was floating around the office, but I refused to do so.  Resist negativity  and stay neutral and positive.

Do not resort to self-blame

At first I resorted to blaming myself for being thin-skinned but soon realize that it wasn’t me.  Do not accept abuse from anyone under any circumstances. Never forget to believe in yourself, do not accept the negative things people say or do to you.

Remain happy

No matter what the situation is you must always try to remain happy.  Never  let anyone or any situation rob you of your joy.

Have you ever encountered a bad coworker or someone who made your life miserable on the job?  Please share with us so we all can be reassured that we aren’t the only ones.

Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on and then boldly wear your scars to show others that they too can be triumphant.  She is an accountant by profession with a new found passion for blogging and a future Author and best seller.  You can join her on twitter, FB, or connect with her at http://ift.tt/1Akaj6q

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“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Your life’s too busy for your dreams.

In this rushed world of family and work, who has time for dreams, when we have rent and commute to deal with?

If your dream is ambitious and big, it will require more of your time.

But you don’t have to fear the lack of time and allow it to paralyze you.

While there’s only so much time each day, the best way to work on your dreams is in small increments.

You don’t have to spend 10 hours a day or be a millionaire to pursue your dreams.

You just need to spend 30 minutes a day working on what you’re passionate about and what truly matters to you.

These 30 daily practices will inspire you, keep you accountable and allow you to work on your dream.

Here are 30 ways to achieve your dreams in 30 minutes a day:

1) Read a book.

If you don’t have clarity on your dreams, you can pick up a book about business, the arts or even autobiographies to get inspired.

If you are certain on your dream, read how-to books to figure out how to achieve your dreams.

30 minutes a day of reading will allow you to read several books over the course of a year.

2) Sketch, draw or paint.

It doesn’t matter what your artistic skill is but why not dedicate 30 minutes to doing work that makes your heart sing?

Set up your work table and turn the timer on to do 30 minutes of art daily.

Not only will it be good for your spirit, but it will be good for your art and bringing your dreams alive.

3) Write 500 words.

If you’re a writer, work on your writing.

The best place to showcase your work is on a blog.

But you don’t have to have your writing public. Write 500 words a day as you draft your novel, manuscript or autobiography.

You have a story to tell and the world needs to hear it.

4) Read blogs.

There are blogs dedicated to each profession, passive income blogs and blogs about creative pursuits.

Blogs can show you how to write better, inspire you to pursue your art and show you how others have followed their dreams.

If you’re interested in pursuing a dream that no one blogs about, maybe it’s time for you to start one?

5) Craft a poem.

Does your mind think in words and images?

Can you write down your poetic inspiration daily?

Think of a person, happening or interaction from the day and allow your poetic ability to capture the moment.

6) Listen to a business podcast.

There are some excellent podcasts out there that will guide you on your dream including the Smart Passive Income blog, the Unmistakable Creative, or the Art of Breaking Out.

7) Listen to your favorite motivational speaker.

Your favorite motivational speaker is now available on audio books, Youtube videos and even podcasting sites.

No better way to spend your commute time than listening to motivational talk and inspirational ideas to get going on your dreams.

8) Take a photo.

Take a photo a day to pursue your dream of becoming a photographer.

You can post your daily photo on Facebook, Flickr or Instagram to get immediate feedback from your friends.

9) Take an online course.

You can take an online course for pretty much any interest you have.

If you’re interested in becoming a better blogger, take a blogging course.

IF you’re interested in becoming a better food photographer, take a photo course.

Get better at branding? There’s a course for that.

Social media expert? Yes! (None of these links are affiliate links)

10) Watch a TED talk.

Learn about creativity, leadership and solving problems.

Ted talks vet their speakers and only deliver the highest quality content.

Watch Ted talks to feel inspired or get ideas about how to pursue your dreams. Enjoy these top 20 Ted talks here.

11) Visualize.

See it first in your mind and then watch it unfold in your life.

Spend a few minutes a day imagining what it would like and feel like if your dreams came true.

See it in your mind’s eye. This is an exercise you can do a few minutes before bed or when you wake up.

12) Go for a run.

Running is an aerobic exercise that gets your blood flowing and puts your mind on a creative high.

Run for exercise. Run for health. Run for creativity. Run for discipline. Run to form a habit.

Allow running to catapult your dreams to reality.

13) Journal.

If you’re not sure what your dreams are or what your purpose in life is, ask yourself.

Sit down and write down your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Go back and read them occasionally. You’ll be surprised that you knew the answers after all.

14) Raise your hand.

If you don’t know if a dream is right for you or not, raise your hand and volunteer.

Give your time freely to causes, businesses or services you see yourself doing.

If you’re interested in building a social media empire, start first with a volunteer gig for a local charity.

If you’re intent on becoming a world-famous speaker, volunteer to give speeches at your local Toastmasters club.

15) Coffee with creative people.

A half hour coffee chat with creative or entrepreneurial friends will spark ideas and allow your dreams to take shape.

16) Practice silence.

We hear so much and process too much.

Why not give your mind some down time to reflect and think about how to go about achieving your desires in life.

Try mindfulness, prayer, meditation or periods of silence during the day.

17) Practice your instrument.

If you’re a musician or just someone with musical abilities, pick up your instrument to play your instrument daily.

Music will awaken your creative spirit and inspire action.

18) Sell your stuff on Amazon or Ebay.

Business is ultimately about buying and selling.

If you’re planning to become a millionaire entrepreneur, why not learn the basics of supply, demand and order fulfilment by testing out the waters with selling the stuff you no longer want.

19) Coach a friend.

Are you an expert or have a passion about a field?

Are you a business consultant or corporate trainer at work? Accountant, lawyer, photographer, blogger or artist?

Regardless of what you do, you have information and skills to help others.

Consult, coach or help a friend or colleague.

Can you see yourself coaching your way to your dreams?

20) Spend time with a kid.

I don’t know what it is about kids but they spark the creativity, freedom and possibility in me.

Have a kid in your life you can spend some time with?

Teach, learn, or simply hang out with one and you’ll be inspired.

21) Attend a local lecture.

There are free lectures about topics you care about happening all around you by authors, professors and businesspeople.

Find and attend a community lecture to learn more about a field of interest.

22) Offer a service on Fiverr.

Build your business empire by taking on small tasks or offering your skills on Fiverr.

Each service you offer is 5 bucks but with add-ons and offering multiple services, it begins to add up.

23) Hike in nature.

Disengage with the world and go into nature.

You’ll get more creative, have better ideas and feel more inspired when you’re done with your hike.

24) Learn a foreign language.

You can talk it up with a bilingual friend or hire an online tutor and practice via skype.

A second language can open up a whole new world of possibilities and introduce you to people and cultures. Your dreams may begin in a new continent altogether.

25) Read up on countries you’d like to visit.

If your dreams include travel, read travel books on different countries.

Figure out where you’d like to go, how much it costs and how to get around the country.

26) Try out a new recipe.

Why not try out your hand at baking or cooking a dish?

Are you the next Julia Childs?

Or will your recipe lead to you hosting a dinner party that can change your life?

27) Sing in the shower.

You don’t have to sing in the shower but sing. Sing and be heard.

You might not make the American Idol cut. Or you just might.

28) Brainstorm 10 new ideas daily.

Start every morning concocting ten new ideas for yourself or your friends.

The ideas can range from life advice to business advice.

This is one way you can become an idea machine.

Check out this post by James Altucher on how you can become an idea machine.

29) Take an improvisation class.

You don’t have to go to Hollywood but improv acting allows you to become a better public speaker, improve your body language and become more confident.

30) Garden.

Grow your garden, then grow your ideas.

There’s so many similarities between growing roses and growing your ideas.

A few minutes daily in your garden can also help spark ideas and bring your dreams alive.

You may not have all the time in the world but if you create small daily habits for 30 minutes a day, you’ll be much farther along on achieving your dreams.

Don’t let the excuse of time stop you from achieving what’s possible.

What will you do for 30 minutes today? Let me know in the comments below. 

Vishnu coaches people to transition to more meaningful work and live a more purposeful life. For the ebook, “11 ways to discover your highest purpose and transition out of your profession”, visit http://ift.tt/RSZdxN

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We’re taught to think of problem solving as a complex and serious task  — full of heavy terms like “making concessions” and “compromise.” Meanwhile we imagine creativity blissfully humming away down the hall painting on its easel, head in the clouds. It doesn’t have to be. With a little ingenuity, you can turn solving everyday problems into creative exercises.Here are 4 ways creative thinking can make you a better problem solver today.

1. Redescribe the problem
Sometimes the best place to start is at the problem itself. If you’ve been stuck with no progress, it might be time to take a step back and closely examine the problem. In his book Smart Thinking, Art Markman, cognitive psychologist explains “The whole idea behind creative problem solving is the assumption that you know something that will help solve this problem, but you’re not thinking of it right now. The more different ways you describe the problem you’re trying to solve, the more different things you know about that you will call to mind.”

Often during this process of redescribing the problem, I realize that I had ignored some aspect or small detail that shifts my thinking. If you’re in disagreements with someone, this can be a good way to soothe tempers  and get everyone on the same page. 

2. Change your perspective on the problem
If you can find a way to re-contextualize the problem (whether medium, perspective, or assumptions), it often gives you that fresh perspective to see things that were hidden before.

A few years ago, I went to a conference that discussed copywriting for the web. Instead of having us sit quietly and read through example text, the moderator passed out pages printed from various websites and selected one person to act as the website and another the user. Then they would read and interact with each other as if it were a two-person play. It made for an amusing presentation, but more importantly, it clearly illustrated the voice of the various websites. It showed why users come away from some websites feeling great and turning into repeat users and come away from other websites feeling hostile and frustrated. Introducing a new medium to the equation changed our perspective just enough to be able to see what might have been much harder to notice in written form.

3. Brainstorm other paths to achieve your end goal
When you’re knee-deep in a problem, it’s easy to get so caught up in the details that you lose the big picture. You find yourself arguing over details without examining them in a broader context. When this starts to happen, it can be helpful to do a quick brainstorm of other paths you could take to get to the same end goal — whether they’re feasible or not is a question for later, just write it all down down in the brainstorming session.

Maybe some of the paths look radically different from what you’re doing now, or maybe it’s just a minor shift. I often find just seeing these alternatives helps get me unstuck and distinguish between what’s worth arguing over and what’s not.

4. Don’t think about it
Take a break. Go for a walk. Best of all, sleep on it. Often the best way to solve a problem is not solve it at all. Instead let your unconscious mind do the work. “Contrary to popular belief, decisions about simple issues can be better tackled by conscious thought, whereas decisions about complex matters can be better approached with unconscious thought.” according to Ap Dijksterhuis and Loran F. Nordgren in their paper A Theory of Unconscious Thought.http://ift.tt/1DgEuZA Consciously, we can only think about a certain number of things at any time — and our conscious mind is easily influenced by irrelevant factors. Meanwhile, the unconscious mind is good at analyzing vast amounts of information, and weighing important factors more heavily than trivial ones.

Later you get an a-ha moment where the solution suddenly pops up as if from nowhere. It almost feels like cheating. It’s hard to say “Let me sleep on it” in professional settings so I often tell clients “I’ll get back to you tomorrow” to give myself that extra time.

Taking a creative approach to problem solving generally leads me to a wider range of options, less conflict, and better results. I hope you find them helpful as well!

 

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Today’s technology has allowed workers to be more fluid with where and how they work, making remote working increasingly popular amongst employees. Companies everywhere are embracing the benefits of ‘anywhere working’. However, the benefits of working from an actual office should not be forgotten. There needs to be a healthy balance between the two, or you could start to see your productivity levels dwindle. Video conferencing, social networking and Cloud services make it easy to work from anywhere; because of this a lot of people believe it is no longer mandatory to go into the office for the job.

While giving employees the option to work from home is great for the business as a whole, too much time off can be bad for productivity and communication. Teams need to often come together to be able to bounce ideas off one of each other; if your key members are often missing from important meetings and collaboration work, then the quality of your work could decrease due to those team members not getting the right information or enough of it.

Because of the risk that comes with allowing staff to work from home, Marissa Mayer the CEO of Yahoo, announced that there will be no more working from home for Yahoo employees -“To become the absolute best place to work, communication and collaboration will be impotent, so we need to be working side-by-side. Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home.”

While technology today is great for communicating and data sharing on the go, face-to-face interaction is still preferred by a lot of people. Encouraging different ways of working will ultimately reduce costs and increase the job satisfaction for your staff, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of productivity, so here are some tips to help you stay productive on days you’re not in the office.

1. Dedicated space

If you’re working from home it’s a no brainer that you should have somewhere you can work privately away from noise and distraction. While having a desk that’s tucked away in the corner of your room is great, have a look at how to turn that into a professional home office. Putting up a screen to section off the area from homely distractions is an effective and cheap method to cancelling out the buzz of home life. Always keep your workspace tidy and organised to create a sense of professional working environment and to help keep your priorities in order.

2. The me time

It’s easy to get caught up in work once you get going however, just because you’re working from home it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a break. Go out for lunch, or not, whatever you prefer! But it’s important that you stretch those legs and get away from the desk every once in a while, this will help you to stay alert, thus increasing productivity. That and getting fresh air is never a bad thing! Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is a vital in order to stay healthy and ensure job satisfaction, but remember that you need to stay focused, so don’t stray from the task for too long or you could find yourself losing the motivation to get back into it.

 3. Professionalism at all levels

A great way to stay productive on a working from home day is to treat your home office like your own business. Apply the rules of your actual office to your home office, stick a picture up of your boss giving you the scowl if you feel like it’ll help you stay on task. Dressing for the occasion can also help you feel more active, studies have proven that you’re more likely to feel awake and alert on the job if you’re dressed for the part, as opposed to sitting in the office in your dressing gown. Make sure your workspace is clean, tidy and well organised; so that you can easily find the information you’re searching for if you so happen to need it.

4. Structures and routines

Let’s face it, we’re all guilty of procrastinating when it comes to working from home. A great way to tackle this is to set a routine for yourself. Setting up a work structure for your day will help you to stay on task and complete them in a timely manner, while it’s great to be doing work all day, you’re not getting much done if you’ve spent the last four hours writing that one report. Break down your day into sections; morning for checking and replying to emails, midday for the important work, after lunch for less important work and at the end of the day check emails again. This is just a basic routine and you don’t have to follow it if it’s not how you work, everyone has their own methods of getting things done, but a routine is always needed.

5. Communication

Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you should just hermit away until you’re next in the office. Keeping in contact and making yourself available is important for your team to succeed, you’re still a part of a team even if you’re working from home! Keep your phone close and use programs such as Skype, FaceTime, and Dropbox to communicate and share information. Social media is also a great way in letting your team know what you’re up to. Never disappear without first letting a member of your team or management know where you’re going.

There are many ways flexible working can benefit the company if done correctly and not abused. Remember these key tips and you will be able to keep productivity levels high while enjoying a day working from home. Flexible working relies heavily on trust and capability. It is up to the individual staff to produce sufficient work and to communicate effectively with their team members.

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