For writers of the imagination, what we fear the most is a disruption, a blockage, a sudden dam that changes the course of the river of creativity. Back in the late sixties and early seventies when technological innovation began to creep into the public consciousness, I shunned all the so-called marvels of computers when it came to my writing process. As a novelist, I feared that switching to these new fangled machines might somehow inhibit my ever-reliable muse, but what I feared most was a disruption of my creative process, a drastic change to my internal thinking patterns that would inhibit my imagination. A strange new means of composition at the time, the computer seemed an intrusion or, at best, an unwelcome detour on a well-traveled road to storytelling.

The Old Days

Up to that point, I had been composing in pen and ink before making the transition to a manual typewriter. I had learned to type at the age of seventeen on a clunky old Remington and had become quickly used to the feel of the keys on my fingers. I discovered how great it was to see my words in black type, almost as if it were already a page in a book. I have to admit, that as I continue to work on a keyboard today, I’ve found that it creates the same comforting sound that once accompanied me during my creative revels on that old clunky Remington.

I grew used to rushing through a first draft, reworking it with pen in hand, retyping, reworking, retyping until I had my manuscript in what I had internally believed was reasonably acceptable for submission to my then agent. I used the services of a few freelance typists who had grown used to my hasty yet elaborate chicken marks. I had long ago discovered that the secret to good writing was rewriting. I rewrite like mad, changing dialogue, characters, plot points, reconsidering different ways of expressing the material; the subconscious is a very busy place, and every nuance, every thought, is constantly changing. Writing stories is like building a house with wooden blocks: remove one, and you must rearrange the supporting neighbors or the whole structure will collapse.

Making the Transition 

Because I spent a vast amount of time composing my novels in my basement writing room, I owned three Smith Corona portable typewriters. One was my primary work tool until its mechanism shouted for repairs, one was in reserve, and one was always in the shop. My fingers were invariably stained by carbon from used-up ribbons that constantly needed changing.

I was still in the advertising business in those days. I would get to my basement writing desk before six in the morning and write for about four hours before hustling off to my office for my regular workday; the pittance I earned from writing was hardly enough to support a growing family.

It was during my time in the advertising business that computers were proliferating. I now had the option to eliminate my freelance typists since I could compose and make changes directly on the screen, but if you were unable to break the habit of making changes on paper, printers were available.

One of my writing friends, a world famous photographer/writer, Fred Ward, was an advanced techie, and assured me that a computer was an enhancement rather than a hindrance, and finally, after much persuasion, I bought my first clunky computer in the early 1980’s. The writing program was called Wordstar and I attached a Hewlett Packard laser printer that could print out a few pages a minute, which I thought, at the time, was remarkable. Of course I kept my three Smith Coronas at the ready in case this technology failed me, and so I chugged away learning Wordstar.

Getting Over the Fear 

Some of my writing friends continued to resist, and they often insisted that they were happy with the old ways of pen on paper or mechanical typewriter. In fact, many of them continued to compose that way and some still do; I have a number of writing friends that have refused to adapt under any circumstances. I suppose it is an age thing. After all, they argue, the greatest works of literature were composed with pen and paper. Were William Shakespeare or Charles Dickens inhibited by the lack of computer technology?

I must admit that it took a while to get over my fear. When I slowed down or met an obstacle while writing, I wondered whether or not the disruption was due to the new process and the difficulties of having to remember the new strokes on a computer keyboard. Thankfully, my earlier typing skills came in handy and after a few months I was able to write and rewrite to my heart’s content, which I continue to do today.

I suppose my story has been experienced by many writers across the globe who were plagued by similar fears. To a younger generation, many of whom are no longer taught the elements of penmanship, my experience could be laughable.

How do You Prefer to Write?

I am totally committed today to writing on my computer. It offers a writer a vast improvement especially in time saving and research.  The creative process remains the same as it always was, requiring deep thought, constant improvement and extensive re-writing. But most of all, in terms of speed and convenience, it is an enormous help. Still, despite such improvements, if suddenly the electrical grid was destroyed and a complete power blackout would occur I would still continue my writing schedules. It is a necessary component of my life.

An old friend, John David Garcia, now deceased, once declared that the goal of life is to evolve into pure mind. He wrote a book called The Moral Society, and claimed that technology might one day bring us to pure mind. But a truly inspired and gifted writer, as has been proven over the centuries, does not need the geegaws of modern technology to create masterworks of great insight and benefit to the human species.

While it has made a vast difference in discoverability and marketing, giving opportunity to emerging writers to get into the publishing fray, I doubt if it has made one iota of difference in the quality of the offerings.

On that note, I want to know, how do you prefer to compose?

Warren Adler is best known for The War of the Roses, his masterpiece fictionalization of a macabre divorce turned into the Golden Globe and BAFTA nominated dark comedy hit starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito. Adler’s international hit stage adaptation of the novel will premiere on Broadway in 2015-2016. In recent development is The War of the Roses – The Children (Grey Eagle Films and Permut Presentations), a feature film adaptation of the sequel to Adler’s iconic divorce story, Target Churchill (Grey Eagle Films and Solution Entertainment),Mourning Glory, to be adapted by Karen Leigh Hopkins, and Capitol Crimes (Grey Eagle Films and Sennet Entertainment), a television series based on his Fiona Fitzgerald mystery series. Warren Adler’s newest thriller,Treadmill, is officially available.

Learn more about Warren Adler at www.warrenadler.com

 

 

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Break the rules. We have so many rules in life about everything. I say break the rules. Not the law, but break the rules / Arnold Schwarzenegger

Can we be honest?

You know how you’ve been struggling to find your dream job? Tried everything and still feeling crappy?

Well, It’s not because you didn’t find the right place to work in. It’s not because you have the wrong position.

It’s because you’re looking in the wrong place.

But you’re not alone.

Most people live their life without knowing better. They cruise on autopilot, letting their job slowly suck the life out of them. They feel bitter and lost.

But there’s a dead simple way to get your bearings straight. To find your life purpose. To do the work you love.

Shall I explain?

Working a Corporate Job Changes You in a Creepy Way

I used to work in a corporate job. I kept my nose to the grindstone. I wanted to save money for retirement because that’s the “right” thing to do. But living this way takes it’s toll.

I started daydreaming about retirement. Being only 30.
My mood became gloomy making me grumpy and miserable. Being around me sucked.

Then I remembered.
How it was before, how I was happy.

I didn’t want to become a corporate slave. To forget how to enjoy life as a free man.
I didn’t want to become institutionalized.

These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized / Shawshank Redemption

I knew there must be another way. To live a vibrant life. To be happy.
But I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to step into uncharted waters.

The Kick-Ass First Aid Treatment that Saves You From Misery

When I felt hopeless, my wife came to the rescue.
She challenged me with a simple exercise. It changed my life. It helped me find and pursue my life purpose.

It’s extremely simple but it’ll guide you towards living fully. Towards doing the work you love.

What’s the exercise?

1. Write down what you’d like to do if money is not an issue.
2. Order the list by what you’re most passionate about.
3. Pick the top item.

When I did this exercise, my top item was helping people achieve their greatest potential. I had noticed that I felt best when I mentored others to enjoy their lives more.

I started gobbling up books and taking courses. I worked hard to overcome my social phobia. To sound my voice even when I was scared shitless.

Take the time to complete this exercise. And when you’re done, start acting towards accomplishing it.

It’ll be hard. Damn hard.
It’ll smack you out of your comfort zone. It’ll shake every molecule of your being. But it’ll be worth it.
It’ll change you. Drastically. You’ll feel alive. You’ll become happier than ever. Your friends will notice it. Your family will notice it.

Wouldn’t you go an extra mile for that?

Repeat this exercise once in a month. You’ll be surprised your answer changes.
That’s how you navigate to your greatest passion. Each time you perform this exercise you come closer to finding your purpose in life.

And when you find it you’ll know. Definitely.

The Secret To Doing What You Love

You can’t achieve your dream by staying comfy.

You can’t fulfill yourself doing what everyone expects.

Break a convention and naysayers start popping up from everywhere. They say the risk is too big. That you won’t make it.

But deep down they know.

They are ashamed to lack YOUR courage.

Stop listening to naysayers. And start listening to yourself.

Follow your passion. Cultivate it and learn about it in every chance you get.

Go ahead. Fire up your passion.

You know you deserve it.

P.S. How do you handle naysayers? Let me know in the comments below.

—

Benny helps men live their life to the fullest, while putting their family first. Get his free “Foolproof Checklist for Spending More Time with Your Family While Getting Things Done”.

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We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. – John Dryden

Are you as productive as you’d like to be?

Do you feel like you could do a whole lot more with your time?

And how often are you getting distracted within any given day? Too much?

Are you finding it hard to break the habit? Do you wish it were easier?

I’m going to show you why a lack of productivity can lead to bad habits. And what you need to start doing!

1. You become easily distracted.

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination. – Christopher Columbus

Have you ever noticed when you’re not productive you’re easily distracted? This is what I’m talking about.

And If you’re not careful you’ll become more and more distracted, until it becomes a bad habit.

And once you’re stuck in the habit of being distracted (like most), it’ll be a bad habit.

A bad habit that’ll destroy your ability to focus. And make it harder to stay focused for longer periods of time.

Spend more of your time being productive, so it’s impossible to spend the majority of your time being distracted.

2. You become a spectator.

Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you’re wasting your life. – Jackie Robinson

Who would you rather be? The one who’s perfecting their craft and being productive, or the one who’s watching over 7 hours of TV per day?

The difference between the two is – one of them is taking action, and the other is watching it.

And when you become a spectator of life, you start to become more critical of others.

Go onto YouTube, find a Justin Bieber or a Miley Cyrus video for example.

I can bet you’ll find 1000’s of spectators on there. And guess what they’re doing? Being critical of Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus in the comments.

Here’s another example. You have the footballers on the field playing the game, and the spectators in the crowd watching the game.

And which one of them becomes critical when one team loses or takes a bad shot? The spectators!

The same principle applies to your life.

When you stop being productive, you’ll eventually start spectating and paying attention to things you weren’t aware of before!

3. You start to lose focus.

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus. – Alexander Graham Bell

When you’re not doing something meaningful you start to lose focus. Try this as an experiment If you like.

Example – you could be on a train reading a book on your kindle, but the moment you put it down your focus will switch to the people on the train gossiping.

And If you were to do that enough, eventually you’ll stop reading your kindle on the train all together.

The same principle applies to anything else you need to focus on. Stay focused more often than you get distracted.

4. You’ll waste time on things that don’t matter.

Have you ever seen teenagers, students, or young adults hanging around on street corners before? Doing nothing in particular?

This is the perfect example of the point I’m getting across.

When you’re not productive you waste time on things that don’t even matter. Most of the time.

Like hanging around on street corners, walking up and down town doing nothing important.

Watching the new world news, reading celebrity gossip magazines, scrolling through people’s Facebook pictures and status updates, etc.

That’s a dangerous habit to get into. Respect your time and use it wisely.

5. You become lazy.

 Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. – Jules Renard

Lazy people for the most part are far from productive people.

And the type of lazy I’m talking about is the person who refuses to do anything. Or makes excuses as to why they shouldn’t or don’t need to do it.

When you’re not being productive there’s a chance you’ll become lazy. And once the lazy habit hits you, you’ll find yourself making excuses.

And once you’re stuck in the habit of making excuses, you’ll get NOTHING done. And If you get nothing done, you’ll be more unproductive than you will be productive.

The goal is to not just stay active, but to be productive. Exercise is a good way to get rid of laziness and the feeling of laziness.

If you’re energy is always up, you’ll be more likely to be focused and productive more often.

6. You’ll have nothing to do.

This ties in with number 4. When you have nothing to do with yourself, you have no sense of direction.

By having nothing important left to do, you’ll do anything. And anything usually means distractions, which leads to bad habits.

But the truth is you always have something productive to do.

If your task is to make 100 sales call a day, and you pass that target, does that mean you’re done? Of course not.

There’s always something productive you could be doing. No matter how much you get done within 24 hours.

So don’t slack, don’t make excuses, don’t justify, and most importantly, stay focused more often than not. So it’s impossible to upset the balance!

Got something to say? Leave a comment and i’ll respond!

——–

Theo Ellis is a blogger, author, and entrepreneur who’s committed to giving straightforward advice to help others grow. Specializing in topics such as – self confidence, self improvement, happiness, discipline and time management. You can find out more about Theo at his website – justbereal.co.uk

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There’s nothing worse than the feeling of being tired but not being able to do anything about it. Sure you could take caffeine pills or drink as much coffee as you possibly can, but this can leave you feeling even worse once the effects wear off.

So what can you do?

There are some natural ways to shake off the sleepy feeling, including:

1. Exercise

Ok, it sounds daft we know. The last thing anyone wants to do when they feel sleepy is drop to the floor and do push ups, but it works! Exercise helps to release endorphins and creates adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine that help to ensure that your brain stays alert.
Granted you can’t always go for a quick run when you’re feeling tired, but you should be able to get up, stretch your legs and walk around for a little bit. Even a quick three minute walk will help you to rouse yourself out of a laggy, sleepy feeling.

2 Avoid Caffeine

It sounds like we are doing something that will make you more tired, but actually caffeine can have a very negative affect on your body. By drinking coffee in the morning and throughout the day you may be getting a temporary fix from the stimulant, but by the afternoon the effects will have worn off, leaving you more irritable and tired.

3. Keep Hydrated

Many people feel tired as the result of not drinking enough water. This creates fatigue both mentally and physically and can be extremely dangerous if not checked. Make sure that you are taking on around 2 litres of water a day, especially when you begin to feel the effects of fatigue. It doesn’t have to strictly be water; you could try fruit juice, squash or even herbal tea.

4. Glucose

Glucose is a natural sugar that your body produces to give yourself that extra kick throughout the day. There are many foods that you can eat in order to get this sugar; alternatively you could try glucose tablets. Again, these are produced using natural ingredients and can be a great way of getting a quick boost without any after effects like you would receive with caffeine. Glucose comes in chewable tablets, drinks and gels, making it a good solution for many different applications.

5. Eat Right

If you aren’t getting the right nutrition then your body isn’t going to work to its full potential. Try to cut out the fatty foods and high sugar snacks and opt for healthier alternatives. Don’t feel as though you are too busy to eat either, skipping meals can cause low blood sugar which brings on fatigue. While stopping to cook dinner may take up your time, being well fed will help you work better and should save you time in the long run.

6. Resting

Are you sleeping properly? Chances are, if you are regularly tired then your sleeping habits aren’t very good. Try to make sure you are getting 6 to 8 hours sleep every night and aren’t being frequently disturbed while in slumber. Not being able to go into a deep sleep during the nights can seriously affect your mental ability throughout the day. Try to make changes to your sleeping pattern in order to get to bed by a certain time to see if this helps.

About the Author – BBI Healthcare develops, manufactures and distributes a wide range of healthcare products to help manage personal wellbeing. All products are made to the highest of standards, meeting quality and regulatory requirements, ensuring that you receive the best possible product. To find out more about our Go Gluco range of Glucose Tablets visit us online today

 

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Do you ever watch personal development videos on You Tube?

I do. I used to watch them all the time and one day, about a year and a half ago, two things really struck me.

1. They’re so damn long. The ‘guru’ can take between 10 and 30 minutes, sometimes going off point, to answer the question or talk about their area of expertise.
2. They overload you with information. The subject may be something fairly clear like building confidence but you’re gonna get a cluster bomb of an answer. Stand back while you’re bombarded with 10 different steps ranging from the useful to the downright trivial.

Hmmm, I thought, I have an idea. What if I was to make a series of videos that gave viewers just one answer to the problem they face and were no longer than 4 minutes in length?  That way, I wouldn’t take up too much of their time and also give them a clear solution they could action in their day to day lives.

Yes, I said to myself, you’re onto a winner. And so, The Real Answer series was born.  I proceeded to make 7 videos dealing with issues that we all face and how to solve them.

But me being me, I couldn’t just give any old answer. It had to be THE answer, the most definitive, clearest and effective solution

And guess what?

When you’re looking for the REAL answers, the place to find it is outside the mainstream.

So without further ado, I present to you, 7 unconventional answers (taken from my video series) that will get you thinking and hopefully have a positive impact on some of the issues you face.

Answer Number 1: How to be Confident

It’s not affirmations, empowering clothing and it’s not even your posture and the way you carry yourself. Don’t get me wrong, these can help but the only real way to build long lasting confidence is to face your fears.

The confidence of a person can be measured in the amount battles they’ve been through. Yes, you may have quivered throughout that presentation you gave or bumbled your words when approaching that beautiful woman or man you like, but you had the balls to do it.

Confidence grows through this because of a human beings amazing ability to adapt. Keep putting yourself in fear inducing situations and eventually the strength of your terror will subside. When this happens, you start to relax, and when you start to relax, you’re free to give the best of yourself to the task at hand. 

Answer Number 2: How to Find your Passion

The commonly held belief is that this is very difficult to do. After all, a shocking 81% of people in employed work are uninspired by their jobs.  Viewed like this, there’s a global epidemic of wasted lives.

Understandably, this is something you want to avoid but doing so requires a little lateral thinking. You see most people don’t lack passions; they lack the courage to pursue them. You probably already have a workable idea but what are you doing to make it happen?

 

Answer Number 3: How to be Successful

I need to warn you that society considers the answer I’m about to give dangerous. It’ll tell you to work hard, keep your head down and play the game. If you do all of these things then one day you’ll live in a big house, own multiple cars and have respect.

Yeah right!

While there’s a chance this might occur, even if you do get to the front of the rat race, it’s more than likely the things you’ll notice the most are how stressed you are by your 50 plus hour a week job and how a little piece of you dies every day through having to conform.

Of course, there is another kind of success – the one where YOU set the agenda. However, to succeed outside the system, your project, idea or dream will have to become an obsession in your mind. Only this strength of mental focus will galvanise all of your energy and provide you with the motivation, answers and persistence to forge your own path.

 

Answer Number 4: How to Overcome Depression  

This is my most controversial answer. Remember, my intention in saying what I’m about to say is to enlighten, not offend.

It is my belief, and that of a psychiatrist imminently more qualified than me, that most people diagnosed with depression don’t need prescription drugs.

What’s the solution then?

Put simply, START LIVING A LIFE.

Think about it, is it any wonder so many people feel miserable and low on energy when we work jobs we don’t enjoy, spend an endless amount of time doing them and are conditioned to ignore our true feelings?

The antidote, therefore, is to give free reign to your dreams and desires. Start doing what you want to do, not what is expected of you. Remember, that low energy state you’re experiencing is your soul’s way of communicating and telling you to set your sights higher.

Answer Number 5: How to Deal with Failure

‘Failure is feedback’ goes the famous saying.  While I don’t wish to knock a useful NLP presupposition, I do want to draw your attention to another factor that makes the experience more palatable.

What if you only needed to win one time out of ten to be a success?

Sound odd doesn’t it, but when you break down even the highest of achievers success rates, you’ll discover that they’re not as awe inspiring as we’re led to believe.

Tim Ferriss got rejected by 26 publishers before the 27^th he approached agreed to publish his Four Hour Work Week.

Colonel Sanders was rejected 1009 times before a restaurant agreed to use his recipe.

Michael Jordan missed more than 9000 shots in his career.

So don’t be concerned the next time you fail to get a client, don’t get the job or make a loss on an investment. Hold out for the occasions that you do.

 

Answer Number 6: How to be Happy

It’s all about your energy. While the system seeks to convince us we can only be happy through greater consumption, the research would suggest otherwise. In fact, being in the highest income bracket of your country will only make you 3.5% happier than the average.

So if the big car, grand house, expensive holidays and designer clothes aren’t going to make you that much happier, what will?

The paradoxical answer is, taking ownership of your happiness. You have to work at raising your energy regardless of life’s ups and downs. Every day, you have to focus on the thoughts that get you feeling good and eliminate the ones that depress you.  This way your mood will be dictated by you and not your environment.

 

Answer Number 7: How to Sleep Better

Some YouTube videos were telling me I needed to buy lavender scented pillows, set my alarm at exactly the same time each morning and get into bed at exactly the same time each night, but after years spent as an insomniac I knew this advice did little to assist consistent sleep.

So what did?

I only began to sleep properly after I stopped worrying about my sleep.  I had to LET GO.

This meant;

• No more attempting to force myself to sleep
• No more worrying about feeling tired for an important event the next day
• No more questioning why it was I wasn’t sleeping properly and wondering whether I was being punished

Although sleeping badly, the issue of sleep had to be completely absent from my mind. Only by letting go in this way would I allow my subconscious mind to take over. It knows how to guide you, SO LET IT DO ITS JOB.

Joe writes for the Dreamers. He believes everybody should live a life doing the things they love (and get paid to do it!) and have the freedom to set their own agenda. For more information please visit his website http://ift.tt/Xtk3Y6 and check out his critically acclaimed book Escape the System Now. He also works as a hypnotherapist and tennis coach.

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It’s a question that comes up when celebrities get themselves into trouble. Which happens often enough.

To start with, let me make it clear that I’m not talking about the legal side of the issue. At least twenty-three women have spoken out about varying degrees of molestation at the beloved comedian’s hands. Bill Cosby has (it seems) done things that make him liable to criminal and civil penalties. The law should take its course. You don’t get off because you’re a celebrity.

Instead I’m talking about the court of public opinion. As one CNN news story put it, “Cosby, 77, has never faced a judge or jury, let alone been convicted, over the allegations. But it’s clear many people have already tried him in their minds.”

To begin with, although current society is fascinated by celebrities, the role they actually play in our culture isn’t well understood.

We live in a society of strangers. We are no longer tribespeople or villagers whose acquaintance totals a few dozen people. Every day we see and deal with many individuals we will never see again. This is especially true in big cities and suburbs.

Even people we see every day are more or less strangers to us. How much do you know about the people you work with? Do you and they have any common acquaintances outside the workplace? What about your neighbors? I’ve lived for six years in the same middle-class suburb on the edge of the Chicago metropolis. I know some of my neighbors, but most of those who live around me are people I probably wouldn’t even recognize in most settings.

At the same time, we find ourselves interacting with these strangers in various ways, and we have to talk to them about something. One thing we all share is a familiarity with famous people—politicians, movie stars, singers, sports heroes, and so on. These celebrities provide a kind of common acquaintance that we can talk about with people with whom we otherwise have little to share.

But we have a very curious attitude toward these celebrities. We like to build them up and then tear them down again. Often they let themselves in for it by doing stupid, bizarre, or criminal things, but the vehemence we show (while enormous atrocities elsewhere in the world are going practically unnoticed) suggests that something else is going on.

When you think about it, even the celebrity you most abhor is in all likelihood someone who has never harmed you personally, if only because he has never met you. You may even realize that, from a purely personal point of view, you have had nothing but pleasure from his performances. But because he has been caught in a disgraceful act, you get satisfaction from despising him. You may even start to feel sincerely angry with him.

Some of this anger is due to envy. We live in a democratic, egalitarian society, where nobody is any better than anybody else (or so we tell ourselves). At the same time we want to have heroes to admire and look up to. These impulses are somewhat contradictory, and so it’s no surprise that they produce contradictory results—elevating the star, then tearing her down.

This process is also a way of cementing common values. To attack a celebrity who commits rape is, or seems to be, a way of condemning rape as a whole. Fair enough—but I really wonder if this kind of condemnation is really going to help prevent crimes like this in the future.

For some people, hostility toward public figures is also a way of displacing their anger onto some remote object. But there is something suspicious about this process. What are you really angry about? It would make more sense to look at this question in the context of your own life and take steps to remedy it—or accept the situation if there’s nothing else you can do.

Granted, there are a lot of people who looked up to Bill Cosby. They feel genuinely hurt that his behavior has been at such variance with his benign fatherly image. It’s always a danger you face with heroes—especially living ones. They often turn out to be different what you thought they would be—and more often than not, they’re worse. I suppose the lesson here is to be careful about whom you look up to—especially if they’re still alive and the book isn’t closed on their personal stories.

In one sense, then, this rush to revile Bill Cosby is understandable. He was held up as a hero and a role model, and he let a lot of people down. It would be hard if not impossible to excuse him of many of the things he’s done (assuming he really did them).

In the end, though, I don’t feel I can answer the question that I started with. Should we forgive Bill Cosby? Should we condemn him? Who is this “we” that we’re talking  about—public opinion, society at large? Most of the time when people talk this way, they are inserting themselves into a (largely imagined) category of moral arbiters—whether or not they have any business to be there.

So, then, let me change the question: can I forgive Bill Cosby? I can and I will try to—because it’s in my own best interest to do so. It’s in my own best interest to stop upsetting myself and getting angry over things that are, in the end, none of my business. Whatever the truth of these charges, I personally wish Bill Cosby well—just as I wish his victims well. It’s for the sake of my own peace of mind.

Richard Smoley’s latest book, The Deal: A Guide to Radical and Complete Forgiveness, will be published in January 2015. His other works include The Dice Game of Shiva: How Consciousness Creates the Universe; Inner Christianity: A Guide to the Esoteric Tradition; and Conscious Love: Insights from Mystical Christianity. Richard is also editor of Quest magazine and Quest Books, both published by the Theosophical Society in America.

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A powerful free video series

I’m too excited about this not to share it with you…

Today, my friend and habits expert Barrie Davenport launched a free 3-part video training called “Unleashing Your Best Self.”

You can get the first video instantly by clicking here and signing up.

In these videos, Barrie shares something that’s spot on with my personal values …

Creating indestructible habits.

I know, I know…

Maybe you cringed a little when you read that. That’s okay. There are SO many people who are cynical about sticking to their habits. You’ve tried it in the past. You start with good intentions, but after a few weeks (or even days!), you give up.

The good news? We don’t fail to follow through because of some character flaw. We fail because the process is flawed.

How about a fresh perspective on forming great habits? One that will help you move on from past failure. One that will help you look ahead with clarity and confidence.

Well, then, good news — you will get a TON of value from this series.

In fact, in Video #1, Barrie shares the four common myths about creating habits and why it’s so difficult for almost all of us to commit to our resolutions and follow through on those new behaviors we want in our lives — whether it’s exercise, eating healthier, learning a new skill, or even improving a relationship.

Without busting these myths, you’ll find it virtually impossible to stick to your habits and reach your goals.

If you’ve ever felt like there was something standing between you and becoming the person you want to be, don’t miss this series.

You can finally get clear on how creating rock solid habits can truly transform your life — even if you’ve tried in the past and failed.

It’s free, but it will only be available for a limited time. Sign up here, and she’ll send you the first video right away.

 

The post How To Create Good Habits (for Free!) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Admit it. You’ve wondered more than once…

Is there a better life out there?

You work your butt off every day, but just paying for the essentials becomes more difficult with every passing month.

And what about your dreams?

Will you be able to start your own business, send your children to college, or live the life you always wanted?

And you can’t help thinking …

Is there a smarter way of doing things?

A way to achieve a lower cost of living – and a higher quality of life?

Maybe it’s finally time to accept the fact…

Your city is way too expensive.

So why not do what so many others have done before you and move to a place that is more affordable and offers a better quality of life?

Perhaps somewhere with less crime and pollution – and more time to enjoy life.

Let’s see if such a place truly exists.

10) Alicante, Spain – the best of everything Spain has to offer.

OK, an explanation is needed. Yes, Alicante is not a place where you can literally live on a dime.
But compared to any North American city, and many in the UK, the cost of living in Alicante is so low and the quality of living is so high that this fabulous city deserves mention here.

Alicante lives its life in Barcelona’s shadows, which is not a bad thing.

This beautiful and safe beach city on Spain’s Costa Blanca is one of my favorite cities to live.

Alicante is famous for its traditional architecture, climate, food, entertainment, relaxed lifestyle, and lack of mass tourism. If you want to live a modern Spanish dream, Alicante won’t disappoint you.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $550/month.
Public Transportation: $37/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $37.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $1.00
And if your kids insist on eating at McDonalds, you can get a beer there too.

9) Mendoza, Argentina – where Argentina is still affordable

Mendoza is the heart of beautiful Argentinean wine country. It offers everything you would expect from a major metropolitan city — gourmet dining, exciting nightlife, and an energetic atmosphere, plus endless leisure activities.

The local economy offers ample opportunities for entrepreneurial spirit, and if your dream about starting your own business in Argentina, this could be your place.

The low cost of living in this urban metropolis makes it easy to pursue your dreams.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $380/month.
Buy: One-bedroom apartment, brand new, city center for $62,500.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $38.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $4
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.40

8) Bali, Indonesia – considered paradise by many

If you dream about low-cost living in a beautiful Asian city (perhaps writing your first novel), and you wish to participate in its exotic culture but also are willing to accept things you can’t change, Bali is your paradise.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $300/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $12
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.60

7) Chiang Mai, Thailand – possibly the best climate in Thailand

Exotic Thai culture, amazing food, milder mountain weather and friendly people — this is the city where you can live your dreams without running out of money fast. An active expats community will make integration easy for you and allow you to follow your passion; be on vacation for the rest of your life, start an online business, or work part-time as a tour guide.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $250/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $15.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $13
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.30

6) Corozal, Belize – if your dream is to simply “kick back”

Tropical paradise Corozal is all about the slow pace of life — yoga and meditation on the beach, a stroll through beach waters, a cocktail enjoying the sunset, or uninterrupted quiet time to concentrate on your business. Whatever your dreams are, here you can afford them.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $190/month.
Buy: Two-bedroom apartment, brand new, city center for $115,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $19.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $12
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.50

5) Puerto Vallarta, Mexico – cozy and romantic despite all the tourism

Vallarta is extremely versatile and has lots to offer those who can look past the cities heavy tourism.

The city offers incredible natural beauty, a small-town atmosphere, and a romantic side that many don’t expect, just outside of town.

If you can’t afford to live your dream in the US, take the short flight to Vallarta where you can.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $450/month.
Buy: Traditional town house, city center for $55,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $15.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $7.50
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.25

4) Ojen, Spain – affordable living only minutes from luxurious Marbella

If you ever dreamed about living in southern Spain, Ojen could be your place. A stone throw away from busy Marbella and its multi-million-dollar villas, beautiful and romantic Ojen offers a much more quaint life without being boring.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $330/month.
Buy: Traditional town house, city center for $100,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $28.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $4.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.25

3) Prague, Czech Republic – a beautiful UNESCO World Heritage Site

Have you ever dreamt about living in a gorgeous historic European city, sending your kids to excellent international schools, and running your own online business? But Europe is too expensive … so you thought?

Modern Prague is a beautiful and vibrant city with energetic people, yet it’s preserved much of its artsy charm and narrow cobblestone streets.

Prague has it all — beauty, entertainment, culture, thriving nightlife with amazing pubs, restaurants, cafes, and a prestigious university. The best of all … it is inexpensive.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $590/month.
Public Transportation: $25/month or $240/year city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $27.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.75

2) Bucharest, Romania – the Paris of Eastern Europe
The 6th largest European city is bright, energetic, beautiful, and in the middle of an economic and cultural boom, yet it’s surprisingly affordable.

If you dream of living a rich Bohemian lifestyle in Europe, this is your city.

To top it all off, it’s only 90 minutes’ drive from the beautiful Black Sea.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $450/month.
Public Transportation: $15/month city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $7.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.80

1) Chisinau, Moldova – Europe’s most affordable city
Today’s Chisinau is emerging from its East Block heritage with a world-class National Opera House and Ballet, three national museums, 33 universities, large shopping malls, and an active nightlife.

Like most European cities, the streets are filled with friendly, well-dressed people and luxury cars. Wi-Fi is everywhere, and it’s free; you can run your online business easily from any of the beautiful city parks while enjoying the scenery.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $270/month.
Public Transportation: $6/month city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.80

So what do you think?

Having seen these alternatives, does your city still seem like a smart place to live?

Thought not.

So isn’t it time to move somewhere you can finally make your dreams a reality?

A place where you have enough money left at the end of the month to invest in your future – and your passions.

Because the perfect place for you is just waiting to be discovered.

Don’t procrastinate any longer. Pick a city from the list and start making your plans. It’s much easier than you think to live a life you love.

So – where will you start living your dreams?

——

Wilfried Lehmkuhler is passionate about helping people achieve their dreams; create financial Freedom and a Life they love by applying proven success strategies. Wilfried is a blogger, speaker, consultant and accomplished author who has worked with professional athletes and businesses in Europe and North America. You can find him at FinancialFreedomAndALifeYouLove.com or @WLehmkuhler

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Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you anything was possible? The sky was the limit, they said, and you believed them. Being cut from the soccer team, setting fire to your chemistry set, getting turned down by your kindergarten crush — no setback was damning enough to shake your confidence or destroy your faith in the future.

But a funny thing happens as you get older. When faced with a big challenge, you can become paralyzed by self-doubt because you’re afraid of failing. And when you do try and things don’t work out, bouncing back from failure is harder than it used to be.

Asking out the cute girl (or guy) at the coffee shop feels more daunting after a few heartbreaks, and going after a big promotion seems like an embarrassment waiting to happen after being passed over once.

Our setbacks make us fearful. Some people plow through those fears, driving through doubt like a runaway train. Others become prisoners of their own anxieties and stop living their lives because of it.

This failure-to-launch cycle comes in varying degrees. Some have a hard time getting through simple tasks like calling someone on the phone; others are fully functioning in society, just not at the level they want to be.

If you’re caught in the failure-to-launch loop of self-doubt, fear, and low self-esteem, there’s a way out. You’ll have to put in some emotional work and be willing to step outside your comfort zone, but you can do it if you’re willing to try.

Prepare for Takeoff

Here are the steps for overcoming the failure to launch once and for all:

1. Create accountability. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, your mentor, or a romantic partner — choose someone who will push you to follow through on your goals and call you out when you don’t.

2. Exercise. A healthy, active body is directly linked to a healthy, happy mind. Start by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or biking to work. When you’re active, you’ll feel sexier, more alive, and more willing to challenge yourself.

3. Be honest. Own your strengths and your weaknesses, and don’t be afraid to set personal boundaries. The more straightforward you are with yourself, the more likely you are to cultivate honest, healthy relationships that enhance your life.

4. Socialize. We’re social creatures, and being around other people makes us feel needed, appreciated, and loved. If you decide to sit at home and watch TV on a Friday night, you know how that’s going to end: with you crying over “Downton Abbey” all by yourself. If your roommates or friends invite you to a party this weekend, go! If you prefer a less intense get-together, book clubs or lunch with a friend are also great, low-key ways to connect with people.

5. Practice mindfulness. Don’t let regrets about the past or worries about the future cast a shadow on the here and now. Being present helps you get more out of life and feel more positive in general.

6. Educate yourself. Developing a skill boosts your confidence and makes you happier in the long run. Take advantage of online resources to study an interest you’ve been toying with. You’ll boost your self-esteem and gain respect from others.

Everyone has their hang-ups. Take my friend, Vinny, for instance. He was a 22-year-old guy from a good family, but he struggled with depression, anxiety, and a lack of motivation. When I met him, he wasn’t even comfortable talking on the phone and would only communicate through email or text. Vinny was a talented guitar player, but no one knew how much he had to offer because he was too intimidated to perform.

Unwilling to spend the rest of his life on the sidelines, Vinny started putting in work to develop his confidence. A guy who was once too shy to pull out his guitar for a small audience now plays open-mic nights and has performed in front of hundreds of people.

There are a lot of Vinnys in the world — people who are holding themselves back because they’re scared but who actually have unlimited value to offer. If you’re one of them, listen up: Nothing will change until not achieving becomes more uncomfortable than putting yourself back in the game.

Taking risks is scary. But isn’t spending your life feeling trapped and unfulfilled even scarier? Channel your negative or anxious energy into exercising, learning a new skill, or just hanging out with a friend. Small steps make a huge difference in your self-perception, and that’s the key to reaching your greatest potential.

Matthew Arrington is the executive director and co-founder of Forte Strong, the world’s first failure-to-launch program for men who struggle to leave their parents’ home or find it difficult to become independent. Forte Strong uses a proprietary coaching model to help students find purpose and direction, guide parents and families in empowering their sons, and ultimately create a healthier family dynamic. Matthew currently resides in sunny St. George, Utah.

 

 

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