You’ve experienced it before.

Dashed hopes. Disappointing results. Heartbreak. All in the pursuit of a dream.

As human beings, we all know what disappointment feels like. But while some accept defeat and give up on their goals and dreams, others use their disappointment to create new paths to achieve their goals – and they often succeed beyond their wildest expectations.

So what sets them apart from the average person? They’ve found effective ways to deal with their disappointment, and so can you by doing the following five things:

1. Write down your goals

Most of us struggle to get clear on our goals. We’re content to let our deepest desires exist in vague form. We fail to make them specific, write them down, and give them a timeline.

But people who survive disappointment do so with the help of their clearly written goals. They know that clear goals provide a path to achieving their dreams. Creating this roadmap ahead of time allows them to get back on track when they lose their way or get discouraged because of disappointment.

Want to create your own roadmap? Take a moment to flesh out that vague idea that’s been rattling around your brain. Write it down. Create an action plan. Don’t be afraid if it looks too big or unrealistic. A goal that is written and concrete can be adjusted over time while vague ideas disappear at the first sign of trouble.

Having clear goals will remind you that momentary setbacks are just steps along the way to achieving those goals. They’ll help you focus so you can keep your eye on the prize.

2. Let disappointment be your teacher

In the midst of a painful experience, you’ll naturally tend to resist the idea that you can learn a valuable lesson or two from it.

But successful people probe the wreckage of defeat to find those valuable lessons. They write them down. They study them carefully and commit them to memory so they can use their knowledge to succeed in their next effort. The people who pay attention to these lessons gain wisdom over time.

The next time you are disappointed, commit to writing down three things the experience taught you. Approach the experience with the attitude of an eager student.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Nothing magnifies disappointment more than being surrounded by naysayers. They’re usually the people who are not courageous enough to chase after their own dreams. You won’t find them on the playing field in the arena of life.

Instead, they’ll be the first to rub your nose in it when disappointment strikes. They’ll be the first to say, “I told you so.” They’ll turn your momentary disappointment into evidence that you were a fool for chasing your dream all along and try to get you to be reasonable and give up already.

Successful people with a track record of turning defeat into triumph do all they can to limit their exposure to naysayers. They seek out people who can offer encouragement, wisdom, and positive feedback on areas that need improvement. And they’ll pick you up when disappointment hits you.

If naysayers are discouraging you, find positive people who are further along the path – so they can help lift you up and encourage you to keep moving forward.

4. Be persistent

 

The word persistent may conjure up images of the stubborn person doubling down on a failing strategy – unwilling or unable to accept defeat and move on.

Rather, the successful person knows how to persist in a different way. They are willing to throw in the towel on a failing strategy but are unwilling to give up on the dream (as many others mistakenly do). They learn to pivot into new strategies for starting that business, or writing that book, or running that marathon.

If you have tried one path for a while, but you’re not seeing results, don’t be tempted to give up on the dream. But don’t be afraid to refocus your efforts on a new set of goals.

5. Maintain your enthusiasm

I know. Easier said than done.

But if you examine the life of a successful person, you’ll see that they are somehow able to maintain their enthusiasm through their messy middle — or what Seth Godin calls “the Dip.” In fact, in their lifetimes, they endure multiple “messy middles” because every new path they pursued had one. 

Probably the most painful aspect of the Dip is that it typically comes after experiencing some initial success. It’s natural for enthusiasm to dry up at this point. So how do the successful keep their enthusiasm alive?

They accept this period as part of the journey and fully embrace it. They also know that 99% of people quit at this point and that if they can push just a bit further, exponential results will follow.

How do you maintain your enthusiasm? See your disappointment as a sign that you are on the right path – it’s a sign that the dream truly matters to you.

Embrace Your Disappointment So You Can Thrive

If you’re committed to pursuing your dreams, you’re bound to face disappointment.

Embrace it.

Use it as a tool, not just to help you survive, but thrive.

Enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

And let disappointment be the fuel that drives you to stay motivated instead of throwing in the towel on your dreams.

——–

Cylon is a spiritual chaplain, musician, devoted husband, and busy dad of six. He blogs about practical spiritual tips for living well at Spiritual Living For Busy People – sign up and get his free guide 20 Little Tricks To Instantly Improve Your Mood Even If You Feel Like Punching Something (or Someone).

The post 5 Ways to Survive Disappointment And Keep Your Dreams Alive appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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If you’re a blogger, you’re probably interested in making money.

But search online for how to monetize your blog and you’re given the same, tired advice everywhere: place ads on your site, use lots of affiliate links, look for sponsors.

While those methods might still work, they’re usually a gigantic waste of time for beginning bloggers — requiring you to aggressively promote other brands for little payoff.

There’s a better way: creating your own product.

I started with a completely unknown blog that made no money (unless you count the pennies I made with Adsense) to making just under $500 during the prelaunch of my very first product.

If I can do it, you can too.

Here are five steps you must follow to finally start making money with your blog:

Step #1: Create value consistently (and for free).

If you can’t earn people’s trust, you certainly won’t earn their money. The essential first step to having a profitable blog is creating value content for free.

Some bloggers skimp on the quality of their free posts and save the best material for people who will pay. This is wrong.

Make every post value-packed. Go out of your way to provide content that will completely wow your readers.

Inspire.

Inform.

Entertain.

Do whatever it takes to make them want to return to your blog and tell their friends about you. Don’t worry about the creative well running dry. If you cared enough about a topic to dedicate a whole blog to it, there’s plenty more where those ideas from.

Since my blog is about helping people pursue their passion in life, I took my experience as a career counselor and psychotherapist and condensed it into an 11-page illustrated PDF called Stop Dreaming and Start Doing: How to Actually Do What You Love, and gave it away on my site for free. People still write to tell me how much they enjoyed reading the guide.

Step #2: Stop talking to an empty room.

Most bloggers never gain traction with their ideas — not because they don’t have anything worth talking about — but because their message isn’t reaching enough people. In other words, they’re talking to an empty room.

I learned this the hard way. The first few blogs I started never got more than a hundred visitors a day because I was so intent on getting the word out there on my own. It wasn’t until I started leveraging bigger, well-known sites that my blog garnered more attention and took off.

The best way to leverage the popularity of other sites is to write for them. Look for well-known blogs in your niche and pitch an article that would bring tremendous value to their readers.

When you do this properly, you’ll earn new fans and followers who want to know more about you and your platform. This happened to me when I decided to pitch an article to The Huffington Post last summer. Within 48 hours, my pitch was accepted and my post was featured on the site. After successfully writing a few more articles for them, I was given contributor access. The exposure I got from writing for them brought hundreds of new subscribers to my own my blog as a result.

Step #3: Partner up with the right people.

Search sites like Bloglovin’ or Blog Search Engine to find other bloggers in your niche. What things are they doing or writing about that you admire? Find commonalities that you share with the person and then reach out to them on Twitter. Link to a specific article of theirs and list something specific you enjoyed about it, then suggest collaborating sometime in the future.

The key is to be authentic. People can sense from a mile away if you’re just looking to use them as a means to an end. Be genuine with your intentions to work together and seek to provide value for both of your audiences.

Step #4 Create a community.

Speaking to your audience through your blog is one thing, but most experts recommend having an email list so you can message them personally.

But there’s an even better way to engage with your readers: Facebook.

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you send Facebook friend requests to all of your followers. Instead, create a Facebook group of your blog/brand and invite your followers to interact with you there.

Sure, not all of your followers will have Facebook, but most will. Not only is it more personal than email, but followers can meet and engage with one another. This builds a sense of community while also taking the pressure off you to facilitate every discussion.

I grew the People Passionate Facebook community to several hundred people in just a few months simply by asking my email subscribers to join.

In the group, I kept up with everyone by asking them what things they were working on and what they most needed help with. This encouraged others to participate in discussion and also gave me a much better understanding of my followers’ biggest challenges.

#5: Create a product.

Once you’ve followed all of these steps, you’re ready to make money with your blog.

By this point, you’ve established to your community that you’re not some random internet marketer who’s just out for their money. You’ve earned their trust and they believe in what you have to offer — many of them will be more than willing to pay for you for a resource you’ve taken the time to create.

As far as what product you can offer, it can be anything — a video tutorial, an ebook, an online course, even coaching services. The beauty of having a Facebook community is it allows you to validate your idea for a product or service before you even begin creating it — all you have to do is ask if it’s something they’d be interested in buying.

I noticed that my Facebook group had a lot of aspiring bloggers who wanted to know how to grow their blogs and write for influential sites like The Huffington Post. So I asked if they’d be interested if I were to create an email course that outlined the entire process — from buying a domain to growing traffic to monetizing their platform. Thirty two people said they’d be interested in the course if I created it.

That was all the validation I needed.

I spent three weeks writing and refining the course. During my prelaunch sale, I sold eight copies, netting me a few hundred dollars profit on my very first product.

Final Thoughts

Profiting from your blog means thinking about the long-term. Aim to provide value in everything you do for your audience. Build a community that appreciates your work, survey your followers on the things they need help with the most, then use their feedback to create a resource that addresses their needs.

When you focus on finding products for your customers, and not vice versa, you give yourself the opportunity to finally make money doing what you love.

Kevin is the founder of People Passionate – a blog dedicated to helping others pursue their creative ideas. Check out his blogging course that teaches you how to grow a successful blog: The Blogging Roadmap.

Connect with him on Twitter @ppl_passionate.

The post The 5 Steps You Must Follow To Finally Making Money With Your Blog appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Does this sound familiar?

You like doing certain things but nothing you’re passionate about.

You feel as if you’re missing out on that feeling. You know, the one that makes you jump out of bed in the morning, lights you up, and makes you feel as if you aren’t working, even when you are?

Yet the last thing you want to do is live an unfulfilled, passionless life. A life where you hate your work, take the stress of a crappy job home with you each day, and bide your time until you can retire and be free of the monotony.

But the question remains:

What is your passion?

What is that one thing you could talk about for days and not get sick of?

Well, you may be making a few mistakes in exploring this question. And once you start looking at passions in a different light, you might just realize that you have plenty of them.

Avoid the following seven mistakes when trying to find your passions:

Assuming Passions are Reserved for Experts

Who comes to mind when you think of somebody who has a passionate career?

If you’re a sports fan, maybe you think of a professional athlete.

If you’re a literature buff, maybe you think of a great writer.

If you’re a tech nerd, maybe you think of Steve Jobs.

My point is, we tend to immediately think of people who are really, really good at what they do.

It’s true that we’re more likely to enjoy doing something we’re good at, but nobody is born an expert at something, so don’t write off the interests that excite you even if you’re a novice.

If you are searching for a passion that you’re an expert in, you may be searching for a long while.

Instead, commit to becoming an expert once you do find your passion.

2. Overlooking Your Biggest Fans

Real quick: name one of your best friend’s passions.

If you’re anything like me, that was fairly easy for you. Your friend may never have told you that the thing you named was her passion, but you just knew.

Yet it’s difficult to pinpoint our own.

One huge mistake you may be making as you search for your passions is overlooking your biggest fans – the people who know and love you.

If you can’t pinpoint what you are passionate about, ask your family and friends what they think your passions are. What seems to light you up?

Sometimes, we can’t see the forest for the trees, but our friends and family members can see us more clearly.

3. Thinking of Passion as a Verb

When you think of a passion, what do you think of?

You probably think of somebody who is passionate about something active, like painting or sports.

This is a mistake. When you’re searching for your passion to pursue work you love, you tend to get stuck on the idea that your passion has to be something that you do, rather than something you believe in, so knitting or playing hockey or painting come to mind.

This may be because we want the “find and do work we love” portion to be easy. We want to say, “I love knitting, so I knit.” Or this may be because our society most often relates passion to a hobby.

Yet most of us are more likely to be passionate about a set of ideas. Gender equality, media, religion, and whole foods can be passions too.

Your passion doesn’t have to be something you do. It can be something you believe in.

4. Believing That Passions Last a Lifetime

Close your eyes and picture yourself ten years ago.

How much have you changed between then and now? How much have you grown and evolved?

Chances are, you’re not the same person as you were back then. Yet we tend to expect that we’ll stick with the same passions throughout our entire lives.

We humans are fluid and ever-changing, and the notion that our passions are something we are passionate about for life is misguided.

Don’t become too confused if you remember having a passion for cooking a few years ago, but you just don’t feel the same about it now.

You might be wondering how your changing passions fit into finding and doing work you love.

Seth Godin proposes that our careers are a series of projects, rather than a 40-year stretch on the same path.

You’re allowed to fall out of love with your passion, and once you start doing work you love, you can pivot to maintain that rumble in your tummy for your career.

5. Rejecting Passions Because They Seem Frivolous

When I started exploring my passions, I came up against a wall.

I knew I was passionate about gender equality and nutrition because I loved to talk about these subjects. But what really excited me was lifestyle design through online entrepreneurship. I was obsessed with inspiring friends and family to start something.

Initially, though, I rejected this passion as frivolous. Next to gender equality, how could I pursue something like lifestyle design?

I tried to dig into more pressing issues, but I couldn’t keep my mind off of the concept of lifestyle design. Little did I know I was committing this silly mistake.

We want to be the type of people who pursue passions that could change the world. We’re good people, so we want to pursue passions around social causes.

And you probably are passionate about a certain social cause. But a less philanthropic passion is just as worthy, and just as you can’t pick your family, you can’t choose what lights that fire for you.

Don’t reject your passions because they don’t conform to a set of standards you’ve set.

6. Expecting Too Much from Passions

You have a specific idea of what a passion does.

Books, articles, and speeches by passionate people teach us that passions make our hearts beat faster, get us up in the morning, and consume us completely.

So you want your passions to motivate you and drive you to the finish line.

But sometimes, your passion is just something that quietly tugs at you.

We overlook passions that don’t work overtime for us because we expect too much from them.

We expect them to make us feel excited every second of the day, but sometimes your passions are things that you simply feel at ease with when you’re talking about or doing them.

7. Discounting Your Personality

Have you ever looked at somebody who was clearly so fired up about something and wondered whether you’ll ever feel the same way?

I know I have. And the answer is that you probably won’t ever feel the same way as that person.

Why? Well, because you are not that person!

You may have passions but never recognize them as passions because, in comparison to others, you just don’t get as excited about them.

We have the tendency to compare ourselves to others in almost everything, but especially people who are front and center.

We think that to be passionate about writing, we have to be like Maya Angelou. To be passionate about marketing, we have to get as excited as Derek Halpern clearly does.

When you compare yourself to others and write off your passion because you are not like them, you are disqualifying your personality.

Those people who get fired up are just gregarious people. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not.

Go Grab Your Passions by The Horns

When you’re trying to find and pursue your passions, you can easily drown in a sea of voices louder than your own about what passion should look like.

But once you stop making these mistakes and start embracing what you love, you can start redefining what passion should look like to you.

And once you do that?

There’s no stopping you from finding and living your passions, every … single … day.

Sarah Peterson is the author of Unsettle.org, where she encourages people to never settle for careers they don’t love. Sign up for her free course to find the perfect idea for a lifestyle business so you can gain flexibility and freedom and do work you love.

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Charismatic people are known to lead successful and productive lives. They charm others, light up the room and command attention wherever they go. The good news is that you too, can develop an aura of charisma about yourself as well. There are many traits that charismatic people possess which you can emulate outwardly as well.

Build up your presence. Presence is the most primary and valuable trait, which all-charismatic people exude. It is something that is essential to making others feel appreciated and important. You cannot fake presence, however, you can increase your presence with practice. Try to focus fully on the current moment rather than your thoughts. Take a deep breath and listen to that breath. It is impossible to be fully listening to your breath and have other thoughts at that moment. Think of the life force pulsing through your body from your head down to your toes for a second and then try to focus all of your attention on the other person. Strive to give the other person your full attention. If you feel your mind start to wander, quickly focus on your breath again and then back to the other person.

Exude confidence. Truly charismatic people exude confidence. They have purpose, passion and self-confidence. Confident people stand tall, sit up straight and have excellent posture in general. Focus on speaking more slowly and slightly lower your tone of voice. Speak clearly and with conviction. This will make you come across as more authoritative.

Show warmth. People are attracted to those who they feel genuinely care about being with them. This means you should make the other person feel comfortable and validated. Resist the urge to judge and criticize. A warm sincere smile and genuine interest in others along with showing empathy can make the difference as to whether a confident or powerful person is perceived as charismatic. Without warmth, a powerful person may simply come across as arrogant.

Engage people with your eyes. Look at people in their eyes when you talk to them as well as when you listen to them. Gaze at them long enough to notice their eye color but don’t stare long enough that they feel uncomfortable. Don’t check your phone or look at your watch.

Use charismatic body language. Body language can be just as important as what you verbally say. It says a lot about you. Charismatic people stand or sit up straight with their shoulders back. They hold their head high but not so high that it comes across as they are looking down on a person. This will also help you speak more clearly and actually feel more confident. Walk with pride and keep your arms and legs uncrossed.

Use gestures. Gestures are non-verbal movements and can be as important as body language. Charismatic people usually keep their hands away from their face while they are speaking. Lightly mirror the other person’s gestures in order to make a closer connection and develop empathy for what they are feeling or expressing. Focus on using hand gestures to punctuate important words.

Listen fully. Charismatic people come across as engaging because they are fully attentive to what the other person is saying. Never interrupt another person while they are speaking. Understand what they are saying and try to empathize with them. Never look around the room and stay directed on them. Pause before you answer a question and look them in the eyes.

Show a sense of humor. Having or developing a good sense of humor will make you more likable and charismatic. Share humorous stories and be able to laugh at yourself. Never laugh about other people. Laughing at others and making jokes at other’s expense will give you the opposite effect of being charismatic.

Show a positive attitude. Charismatic personalities are optimistic and up beat. They talk about things that are positive and keep the negatives at bay. Focus on things you enjoy and never speak about the things you don’t like. People who are charismatic are people who are happy with whom they are and are pleasant to be around.

Make others feel special. We are drawn to charismatic people because we feel comfortable and special around them. They have a way of making others feel they are appreciated and understood. Respect people as your equal no matter who they are never talk down to anyone. Charismatic people are empathetic and focus the spotlight on others. Learn people’s names and give sincere and authentic compliments when the proper time arises.

——–

Leesa Rowland is an author, actress and animal advocate who went from the family ranch in Texas to the bright lights in Hollywood and New York. She has had a successful career in acting, and has a vast cult following for her roles predominantly in horror movies. She has studied method acting, yoga, spirituality, charisma, Buddhism, and metaphysics for over twenty years. Leesa is now sharing her wisdom to help others discover their inner stars in her new book Discovering the It Factor within You. She invites readers on a compelling journey through her past and her contemplative path to self-discovery. She can be reached at http://ift.tt/1HDIB7I. The book is also available at http://www.amazon.com/ and other retailers.

 

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To snack or not to snack, that is the question? For years the great debate over how to get a hold over our health has raged on – 3 big square meals? 5-6 smaller meals through out the day?

As someone who has a profound interest in both personal and general health, I have read hundreds of articles on the best ways to feel your best, but in the end, I can only really speak to my personal experience on the matter.

For me, without a question, healthy snacking is not only the more enjoyable route to go, but one of necessity. Why? Because when I really analyzed how I felt (big meals vs. small, incorporating healthy snacks) I noticed 3 really big changes for the better.

Here they are:

1. Better Weight Balance

They say 70-75% of weight loss is a result of diet (the rest exercise) – so what and how you eat are obviously crucial to maintaining a healthy weight. When I eat large meals, 2 things happen: Firstly, I feel super full – like uncomfortably full, and then a couple of hours later my blood sugar really starts to drop – taking with it, my energy. Either mid-morning or mid-afternoon healthy snacks are a great way to temper your hunger and have consistent energy throughout the day. The keys to this plan are: making sure your bigger meals of the day aren’t huge (and are packed with nutrition) and planning in advance for the snacks you’ll eat. Waiting until you’re hungry to make this decision makes bad choices a lot more common. So plan ahead to find the balance you need!

2. Stops the impulse eating

To add to the last point above, the choices we make when we’re hungry are not necessarily the best choices. Making sure you never hit the ’I’m starving!’ phase is crucial to making the right call. Think about it: ever gone to the grocery store when you’re famished? I have and by the end my shopping cart feels like a bin of junk. Here’s where healthy snacking comes in. Having a healthy snack one or a couple of times of day allows you to maintain your energy levels and control – and once you’ve got your cravings in check, you’ve got a lot more power on your side.

3. Boosts your productivity & your mood

Throughout a busy day, heavy meals (filled with carbs, fats & sugars), stress and rushing around mess with your energy levels and can really run you down. Choosing smaller sensible meals (think: lean proteins, whole grains & veggies) combined with healthy mid-day pick-me-ups in the form of healthy snacks (containing good fats – think nuts, dried fruits etc) create slow burning fuel that help give you energy throughout the day – eliminating the peak and dips that unhealthy choices create. This not only boosts your mood – more energy/less sleepy but allows you to operate at your fullest potential and get stuff done!

So how do I stay snacking?

As mentioned, one of the keys to getting your diet right is PLANNING. A couple of months ago I discovered NatureBox – a snack subscription service that delivers, to my doorstep, incredible tasting and satisfying snacks of all varieties. Not only do I get to discover a whole new world of great food – totally nutritionist approved! – but incorporating this element into my world has dramatically helped me increase my energy while working on my health at the same time. With over 100 snacks from healthy to indulgent, there is something for everyone to get your snacking started!

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*Post sponsored by NatureBox*

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