The Five Positive Effects of Abstaining From Social Media

The way we communicate has been changed forever, thanks to social media. Whereas letters and telegrams took forever to reach their destinations, nowadays, a simple press of a button allows you to send a message instantly regardless of location.

We can’t deny the fact that social media brought a lot of benefits, particularly with regard to communicating with friends and loved ones. It has also broken language and continental barriers, allowing you to know what is happening around the world by just sitting in front of the monitor or by swiping the screen of your mobile phone.

However, being online too much can be quite dangerous, and may affect your mood and your overall productivity.

I conducted a month-long experiment (on myself), and found out firsthand about the effects of abstaining from social media. Here’s what you’re in for:

You’ll Sleep Better and Longer

The simple act of turning off all digital devices and having the discipline not to use them by 8:30pm clears your mind and gives you more time to think before shutting your eyes.

As of now, it’s probably a habit to check your e-mails, your social networking news feeds, and play social games prior to turning in. Basically, social media makes your mind hungry for information – once you look into a story, you’ll be craving for more. You’ll probably end up losing sleep over funny cat videos your friends are laughing about, leaving you stressed, puffy eyed and unproductive the following morning despite heavy doses of caffeine.

Sleep is easy to attain if you don’t have to check your smart phone every five minutes, leaving you well-rested. Remember how easy it was to sleep at night before the age of Facebook and Twitter?

You’ll Be Able to Think More

Browsing social media takes a lot out of your time: before you know it, you’ve spent the last hour and a half flicking your thumb across the screen. It’s also time spent unproductively: your mind is wandering elsewhere, when you’re better off thinking about what you’re doing with your life.

That being said, abstaining from social media gives you more time to meditate and clear your mind. By investing your time in thinking, it gives you the opportunity to reflect on the events that transpired in your life, as well as the chance to plan and get ready for tomorrow. In my case, it helped me realize that I had lost my ambitions, and helped me formulate another set of goals.

More Time to Read

Sadly, social media deprived me of my reading habits – something you can relate to as well. Years ago, I used to sleep at three in the morning just by reading Harry Potter books, Japanese comics and Reader’s Digest magazines…and I daresay times were better back then.

When I did this experiment, I found new reading obsessions – new adult fantasy novels, books about ancient history as well as law-related novels. If you were once a reader, ditch social media and engross yourself in the world written on paper and inscribed in ink, rather than deal with the petty squabbles on Facebook comments regarding provocative articles.

Immune from Negative Feelings

Back in January, I spent hours reading news articles and user comments regarding a particular issue. In my country, 44 policemen were slain by rebels, and it gained widespread fury across the nation. People, including me, were distraught, enraged and were in tears after knowing the fate of the gallant heroes who sacrificed themselves for the country. I shared the sentiments of my fellow countrymen: rage and sorrow merged into one.

By empathizing negative feelings, you leave yourself vulnerable to truckloads of trouble. Personally, I had a small breakout of acne, and was clearly unmotivated – all because I read and absorbed the negative feelings of the people in the comment sections. If I hadn’t read the stories and comments back then, I think I would have slept and worked better.

Remember though, ignorance is never a bliss, but the things you know can hurt you.

Lastly, You’ll Enjoy Life More

Instead of browsing pictures depicting breathtaking scenery, get off the keyboard and take a stroll around the neighborhood. Seeing the sunset, hearing children’s laughter and breathing fresh air is more enjoyable than looking at a phone screen…and gives you the chance to feel and enjoy being alive.

PS: Take note that you should only abstain from social media, not avoid it completely. You still need to network and share content – just limit the time you spend on the digital platforms and you’ll be experiencing the above mentioned benefits!

Mikhail Blacer is a sports junkie and the current sports editor of Scoopfed, an online magazine. He also works part time as a peer counselor in his locality. Strike up a conversation with him through his e-mail (mikhailblacer@scoopfed.com) and via Twitter

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25 Songs That Have Empowered Women

Over the last few decades women have really stood up against the patriarchal society we live and said ‘enough is enough.’  Although we still live in a patriarchal society, the boundaries are being blurred thanks to some of the most influential music of our time.

I thought I would compile a list of 25 songs that depict the changing attitudes of women over the last 50 years, particularly over the last 20 years.

In no particular order here are:

25 Songs That Have Empowered Women

I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

Firework – Katy Perry

Girl on Fire – Alicia Keys

Independent Woman (Part 1) – Destiny’s Child

Unwritten – Natasha Beddingfield

I Am Woman – Helen Reddy

R.E.S.P.E.C.T – Aretha Franklin

Run The World (Girls) – Beyoncé

Play On – Carrie Underwood

Beautiful – Christine Aguilera

None of Your Business – Salt’N’Pepa

So What – Pink

Superwoman – Alicia Keys

Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

What’s Love Got To Do With It – Tina Turner

Let It Go – Idina Menzel

No Woman, No Cry – Bob Marley and the Wailers

Diana Ross – I’m Coming Out

Wannabe – Spice Girls

I Look So Good (Without You) – Jessie James

Man! I Feel Like a Woman – Shania Twain

Stronger – Britney Spears

I Love It – Icona Pop

Skyscraper – Demi Lovato

 

 

 

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9 Ways to Reach Your Goals Lightning Fast

9 Ways To Reach Your Goals Lightening Fast

how to set goals

Fully Commit

Decide that you’re going to keep working at it until your reach your goal. The word “de-cide” literally means “to cut away from”. Think of the other strong commitments you’ve made in your life. There’s no turning back, you stick to it consistently and keep moving forward, no matter what. Make this same kind of commitment to your goal.

Challenge Your Excuses

Don’t let your excuses rule you. Listen to them and write them down. Make a list of all of the excuses and reasons why you can’t be working on it today. You’re not “in the mood”, something came up, etc. If there are real circumstances and responsibilities that are preventing you from working on it, then that’s okay. But if it’s just because you have to check Facebook for 30 minutes, you’ll want to write that one down, and see if that’s a good enough reason to not be working towards your goal.

Choose the Right Goal

Make sure that your goal strikes a balance between being challenging and realistic. If you give yourself too big of a goal, to the point where it becomes overwhelming, you won’t even want to attempt it. Make sure that you goal is do-able. If you break that goal down into smaller steps to be completed every day, however, you won’t feel so intimidated.

Take Action Every Single Day

Rome wasn’t built in a day. And your biggest goals won’t happen overnight. They will take time to accomplish. When you make the commitment, you’re committing to doing something (to get one step closer) every, single, day! Okay, you can take off Saturday and Sunday, but the rest of the week, do something every single day to get closer.

Write Down Your Goals, Clearly

How clear are you on what you want? The more clearly that you can write it down, the easier it will be for you to achieve it. So take just a few minutes now and start writing down clearly, exactly what your goals are. You can’t achieve them if you don’t have a clear idea of exactly what they are. So, what exactly are your goals?

Write Down Your First/Next Steps

What are the next small steps that you need to take? Break your overall goal into smaller steps, and then break down those small steps into even smaller steps. Now look at the first small steps that you need to take. And start taking them, today, right now. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to get one step closer, however small, to achieving my goals?”

Start Today, Right Now

What are you waiting for? If you need permission to get started, then I’m giving you that permission right now! If you’re feeling afraid, it’s okay to feel afraid and still move forward despite your fear (you won’t die, trust me!). If you’re feeling uncertain about moving forward, then you probably need to make your commitment first, and start to accept the uncertainty.

Celebrate Your Successes

No matter how small your wins are, if you celebrate them, you will reward yourself and give yourself a psychological motivator to create more wins. If after your wins, you beat yourself up and say, “That wasn’t good enough” and “I have to do better”, you won’t be giving yourself the satisfaction of feeling good about what you’ve already accomplished. Celebrating your successes will empower you to create more of those same successes going forward.

Get Help From An Expert

Have you ever spoken to a goal achievement expert, also known as a life coach? A coach is a professional who will help you achieve whatever you want in your life, allowing you to sail right through your mental and emotional blocks. Imagine how good it will feel to start moving forward, with your own personal guide and mentor. Get started now.

If you want to reach your goals and you feel stuck in a rutlearn more about what a life coach is and read our guide to find a life coach.  At Life Coach Spotter, we help you build your confidence, find your path, reach your goals, and create the life you want.

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6 Ways to Ditch Unhealthy Eating Habits with Minimal Effort

6 Ways To Ditch Unhealthy Eating Habits With Minimum Effort

how to live clean

Our eating habits and food choices are shaped by far more than just hunger, which is why for most of us, choosing a salad over a slice of pizza requires some serious willpower.

Over the past decade, researchers from the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab have made some fascinating discoveries about how our environment and perceptions of food affect not only what but also how much we eat. So here are six ways you can use their research to trick yourself into making healthier food choices every time.

  1. Use smaller plates

The size of plate you use directly impacts how much you end up eating, because a bigger plate makes a regular serving of food seem smaller.

A study that took place at a health and fitness camp found that people who were given larger bowls ate 16% more cereal than those with smaller bowls. And even though they had eaten more, they estimated that they had eaten less compared to the small bowl group.

So not only can bigger plates cause you to overeat, they may even fool you into thinking you’ve been quite modest. With this in mind, opting for smaller plates whenever possible could help you to eat less but still feel full and satisfied.

  1. Start each meal with something healthy

Since visual cues are so powerful, the order in which you serve yourself can impact your whole meal. One experiment that studied two groups of people as they enjoyed a free buffet found that when healthier items like fruit were arranged at the beginning of the buffet rather than at the end, people served themselves more of those foods.

So rather than denying yourself every ‘unhealthy’ food, which can cause cravings and lead to binge eating, you can positivity influence your choices by starting each meal with a healthier item like a fresh salad or other vegetable dish.

  1. Turn off the TV while eating

Numerous studies show an association between watching TV and consuming more food, and it makes sense; watching TV is distracting, so when you eat while watching your favourite show, you don’t pay much attention to what or how much you’re eating.

Surprisingly, though, certain types of television are worse to watch while eating than others. One study found that participants who watched a suspenseful movie ate 98% more than those who watched a talk show, while another showed that moviegoers ate an average of 55% more popcorn when they watched a sad movie than when they watched an upbeat comedy.

Switching the TV off during mealtimes is best, but if you must watch something, save the tearjerkers and action thrillers for after your meal. Also, if you enjoy snacking while watching TV, make a point of putting out only as much food as you plan to eat.

  1. Stay away from low-fat foods

It may sound crazy, but we’re more likely to gain weight when our diet is composed primarily of low-fat foods. Why? Research shows that when we eat foods that are labelled as low-fat, we mistakenly assume that because we’re consuming less fat; we can afford to eat more.

So instead of maintaining sensible portions and simply switching out ordinary products for their low-fat counterparts, we actually end up increasing our calorie intake. With this in mind, sticking to full-fat products can prompt you to monitor your food intake more closely and avoid the trap of overeating.

  1. Never skip meals

When you skip meals, you’re far more likely to end up bingeing on starchy, high calorie foods once you finally do eat, and food shopping on an empty stomach could even ruin your diet for the whole week, with research showing that short-term food deprivation can cause you to buy nearly 45% more high calorie foods.

To avoid this, try not to go for more than 3-4 hours without eating at least a small snack, and make sure you’ve had a good meal before you step foot in the grocery store.

  1. Dim the lights and play some music

The atmosphere in which you eat your meals can also affect how much you end up eating. In one experiment, a section of a fast food restaurant was transformed with soft lighting and jazz music.

Although participants all ate the same type of food, those who had eaten their meal in the revamped section ate less. They also spent more time eating and rated the food as more enjoyable than those who had eaten in the regular fast food environment.

Since watching TV while eating isn’t the best idea anyway, have your meals at the table with pleasant lighting, music and conversation whenever you can – you’ll not only be less likely to overindulge, but will also enjoy your food more.

Marianne Stenger is a writer with Open Colleges. She covers career development, workplace productivity and self-improvement. You can connect with her on Twitter and Google+, or find her latest articles here

 

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Mental Scouting: The Key to Achieving a Success-Driven State of Mind

Mental Scouting: The Key to Achieving a Success-Driven State of Mind

how to be successful

“It’s not how long you live; it’s how you choose to live your life.”

These were the words that my mother passed on to me and my brother during her struggle with a rare disease called amyloidosis, and it was in the face of this painful challenge that she unleashed her positive attitude and taught us the importance of mental resilience.

Often, she would get a call from her doctor telling her to come to Boston for another round of painful procedures. As a single mom, she knew that she had to lead her sons by her own example in the face of adversity.

So she made the conscious choice to turn the medical trek to Boston into a fun family trip. She knew we liked Chinese food, so we visited Chinatown. She knew we loved bowling, so that was part of the trip, too.

My mother decided to find the positive (even if she had to create it) rather than focus on the negative elements she couldn’t control — even in the face of her own death from a rare disease with no cure. It was through her amazing actions that I learned that we all have the power to reframe a negative situation to discover the positivity within.

The Power to Reframe 

We’ve all heard this saying before: Mind over matter.

It’s one of the first rules of sports psychology, and it involves the understanding that athletes cannot perform at their highest levels based on natural talent and physical training alone. There must be a mental toughness if they’re to get back on their feet following failure or push their bodies beyond what would otherwise be possible.

This principle can be applied to pretty much anyone, and it can be especially useful for entrepreneurs or anyone trying to make a positive impact on the world.

With the ability to reframe negative situations, a positive mindset, and mental toughness, we’re able to unleash our true potential. The process of developing these characteristics can be difficult and even painful.

You Get What You Expect 

There’s a principle in psychology called “expectancy theory,” which states that people are motivated by the outcomes they want. So if you focus on the positive because that’s what you expect, you get more positivity; it’s the same with negativity.

As in sports, your success in life is determined by your ability to get up more than you’re knocked down. It starts with your ability to choose a positive mindset in the face of adversity. Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Find your advocates.

Avoid naysayers. It’s important to surround yourself with mentors, friends, and other advocates who believe in you and will support your positive mindset when times get tough.

  • Exercise your brain.

Our brains have a structure — the insular cortex — where we process positive and negative experiences. We also have a structure called the medial prefrontal cortex, which is where we develop our mental toughness and choose how to respond to a challenge.

Exercise these areas of your brain the same way you would a muscle. This might mean intentionally putting yourself in difficult situations to practice your positivity. If you already have enough challenges in your life, it means training yourself to put the positive thoughts first.

  • Believe in yourself. 

You need to attain belief in yourself by identifying the person you are today. Use that knowledge as the foundation for who you want to become.

Take Muhammad Ali, for example. He had unbeatable confidence in himself, and he started declaring that he was the heavyweight champion of the world long before he actually won the title. No one thought it was possible, but he believed, surrounding himself with advocates who supported, loved, and inspired him. The result was that not only did he become the heavyweight champ, but he also became one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Don’t expect yourself to be able to maintain positivity in the face of adversity with the flip of a switch. It won’t happen overnight, so stay strong and acknowledge that you must continue to believe and actively engage in the process if you’re to experience concrete change that will benefit your future. The next time adversity rears its angry head, face it with a smile — you’ll be amazed at how it affects the outcome.

Ben Newman is the owner and president of The Ben Newman Companies, a motivation and training provider. Ben is a bestselling author, an international speaker, and a highly regarded performance coach whose clients include Fortune 500 companies, business executives, high-performing salespeople, and athletes in the NFL, PGA, and NCAA. 

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5 Steps To Lasting Life Changes and Personal Growth

The 5 Steps To Lasting Life Changes And Personal Self Growth

how to create lasting change

You are going to do it this time, you are going to lose that weight, dust off your resume and get out of your soul sucking job, stop getting into dysfunctional relationships and a myriad of other changes that have to be made.  Perhaps you grab a self-help book or take a course. You read through all the great advice they have on the topics and you implement a few, but then you don’t lose weight, you don’t get a new job and you find yourself in yet another bad relationship.

Why do we repeat the same cycle year after year and for some of us decade after decade?  It’s not what you’re doing – it’s what you’re not doing.

You can’t move forward until you dig deeper and root out and rectify underlying beliefs, fear, and lack of worth and on and on. When you pull a weed out of your garden and the weed grows back, it’s because you did not make sure the whole root was out.  You just pulled off the top.  Reading self-help books and implementing a few well-intended tips are just cropping off the top of the weed.

What does it take to make real transformation?  Pull that pesky weed up by the root.

Check your ecology.   How often do you step back and just observe? When we are in the middle of an issue or thought process it’s hard to totally see what is happening because we are too close. You can take a moment and ask yourself a few questions:

Is this behavior, belief, thought, emotion, serving me well?

Is this an empowering or disempowering belief?

How does what I am feeling right now effect my relationship with others?

Just a few simple questions will help you check the consequences of your thoughts and feelings. Which in turn can help develop strategies to disengage from a belief system and ways of work that do not serve you well or move you forward.

Transformation is a continual process of letting go.  What do you need to let go of to make real change?  For me it was the stories I told myself about why I could not create a life I could love.  Once I realized my stories were holding me back I changed them to be more empowering and less about who had wronged me and how badly I had been treated.  I stopped using my stories to blame others and put the responsibility on me. (Where it belongs.)

Think about how you would describe yourself.  Do you see yourself as a victim or a martyr? Do you think you are unlucky or maybe no one likes you?  Think about your experiences surrounding how you described yourself.  How often did this “story” about you show up and you are able to say, “See I told you so, no one likes me.”  Perhaps what is happening is your reality is chasing that story.  If you don’t want to accept responsibly or you want to live in the past you are hiding behind your story.

Decide what is true for your life.  For many years I could not understand why I felt the way I did after too much time spent with people.  I thought there was something wrong with me and so did others.  I was often called a snob or seen as shy.  Neither of which is true.  I have since discovered I am an introvert, which was a relief.  But the biggest turning point came when I decided to be true to my nature.  I no longer feel the need to live up to my extroverted friend’s level of energy, which made me tired, cranky and resentful.

When we shape-shift into what others need us to be or what we think they need us to be we drown out our true self.  This can lead to all types of devastating consequences – overeating, drinking to excess, depression and etc.

Take empowered action.  When we base a decision or action on a belief or emotion that is disenfranchising then we will make decisions that won’t move us forward.  Once you take steps to move from faulty beliefs and the approval of others, empowered action is what comes without much effort.

As you make changes in your life there will be those who try to sabotage those efforts, whether covertly or overtly.  So surround yourself with others who hold similar beliefs and have common outcomes in place.  Also, understand why others may try to sabotage you and what you can do to minimize their efforts.

When you change others get nervous because their behaviors, emotions, feelings, etc., have been formed around yours. This is especially true in marriages and longtime partnerships.  Expectations of behaviors are formed after many years and this make us feel safe and comfortable with our world. If I and my partner spent the evening after dinner watching TV and eating ice cream I know what to expect.  If suddenly my partner decides to go to the gym after dinner my feeling of balance is changed.  I might start to feel bad about myself because I need to change as well – so I engage in behavior that will sabotage my partner’s desire to become healthy.

Creating a life you will love or personal transformation, whatever that looks like to you, is a process.  For me it was a two and half years of working through the five steps above.  Is it hard?  Yes, it can be. But in order to make real change – changes have to occur.

Shelly Drymon – a Damsel no longer in distress has gone through her own amazing transformation.  She is the founder of The Rescue Yourself Project – where she helps women in mid-life transitions pursue their passion and purpose and to be their own knights in shining armor.  You can read her story on her website – The Rescue Yourself Project. 

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How To Succeed In Today’s Economy (New World of Work)

Ryan Malinowski

If you own a laptop or computer, you own and control the means of production.

Years ago, the only people who could build large businesses and have a voice were those who had access to large amounts of capital (money).

Today though, the game has changed. Anyone with an internet connection showcasing a product/service, a cause, or an idea can spread the word to millions of people around the world “online”.

If you want to start an online business, there has never been an easier time to enter the market and create one.

If you want to get a better job, there has never been as many resources available to explore opportunities as there are today.

If you’re an artist, small business owner, or non-profit, there have never been as many platforms to reach out to others for support than there are today.

The opportunity is there for you……

In order to succeed though, you need to provide value, believe strongly in what you’re doing, and not get sidetracked by the negative opinions of others.

When I built my first business up remotely while playing professional hockey overseas in Eastern Europe, I had a lot of people initially give me their opinions. I heard everything from “I don’t think your business will work remotely” to “I wouldn’t risk it.”

I drowned out the negative noise.

Entrepreneurs must be willing to be misunderstood for long periods of time.” -Jeff Bezos, Amazon

Our society as a whole has led us to believe that it’s more acceptable to “play if safe” than to go after what it is we truly desire in life.

This is why entrepreneurs, artists, and aspiring business owners always face so much initial criticism by those around them (even family/friends close to them).

Statements like, “you’re better off taking a safe job” or “your idea won’t work” are exactly where the problem lies.

Most individuals unfortunately let this criticism, discouragement, and fear stop them from pursuing their goals. They’d rather put their head down and call it a day than persevere and go after what they really want.

The working world is changing and you now have a platform that allows you to be heard. So speak up!!

It’s the perfect time to create, innovate, and put your ideas out in the world.

Remember: At one time in their life, every successful individual today had humble beginnings, obstacles, and roadblocks along their journey to success too.

Tony Robbins could have let criticism and hate discourage him early on in his career, but he didn’t. He’s now recognized as one of the world’s top business coaches and sought after speakers.

J.K. Rowling could have given up writing the Harry Potter series on napkins when people told her it wouldn’t be any good, but she didn’t listen to their opinions.

These individuals could have caved in and given up, but they didn’t.

Each looked fear in the face, overcame the resistance, and did NOT allow their existence be determined by the negative opinion of others.

You need to do the same.

If you have a goal you want to achieve, a business you want to start, now is the time to get started.

Every day gone by is a day that could have been spent working towards your goal.

Stop waiting and start building!

Want to Learn How To Build A Successful Online Business?

Download the Free eBook Here Ten Pages to Creating a Location Independent Business

Ryan Malinowski is an internet entrepreneur & professional athlete. Along with running his business ventures remotely, he connects with and teaches aspiring entrepreneurs/small business owners how to become more successful online. You can learn more about Ryan by visiting RyanMalinowski.com

 

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21 Toxic Habits That Ruin Our Relationships

Take a moment…

And picture the people you love more than anything.

Perhaps it’s your parents, best friend, partner or children.

You’d do anything for them right?

If they were in pain, you’d comfort them.

If they were ill, you’d care for them.

If they were in danger, you’d protect them.

But what if I told you that there are ways that you may be hurting them…without even realizing?

What! That’s right, I said it.

21_toxic_behaviours

You see, there are many TOXIC but seemingly small habits that many of us have…

And they are often the very reasons that our relationships fall apart.

But sadly, we often either underestimate them, or we aren’t even aware of them.

So…if any of these 21 habits below feel a little too familiar…

Then take this time to really challenge yourself.

Just remember, our relationships are so precious. They are the oceans in which we find meaning and happiness in our life.

Are you ready to filter out any toxic habits you may have?

Here goes…

Here are 21 very common but potentially toxic habits that can really hinder our relationships;

1. We listen to people – but don’t really listen
Often when we listen to people, we don’t really try to understand them. More often we listen with the intent to reply. As people, we all want to be listened to, to feel understood and to feel worthy of someone’s undivided attention.

2. We believe that two wrongs make a right
We justify getting angry or doing the wrong thing just because the other person did it too. Or because they did it first. The truth is, two wrongs will never make a right. Instead, we should be showing love, humility and forgiveness every chance we get.

3. We expect too much from the people we’re closest too
Think about it…if your best friend said something unkind to you, you would feel INCREDIBLY hurt. But if a stranger, or someone else said the same thing, you’d probably let it go after 5 minutes.

We often forget that our loved ones are not perfect. They will have bad days where they are not the greatest friend. They have their own struggles and weaknesses. Instead of getting upset when they don’t meet our expectations, we should feel honoured to have them in our life – and accept them as imperfect beautiful human beings.

4. We get easily offended by people
If someone tries to give us constructive criticism – it’s easy to immediately get annoyed and think “how dare they say that about me”, instead of considering that they might have a good point. However, we all have parts of ourselves that we could challenge and grow.

We should always take the time to consider what people say, before taking offense. Otherwise, we might find that we constantly become easily annoyed, irritated and even angry. Which brings us to the next point…

5. We blame other people for our bad mood
We often feel like other people are the cause of our bad mood. But the truth is, we can choose our response. We can choose to respond in a grumpy, irritated manner, or we can choose to respond with patience and grace. We can challenge our emotions and take responsibility for the way we feel and act towards other people.

6. We wait to be loved before we love back
Love should be unconditional. If we are all always waiting for the other person to make the first move, then there won’t be any love going around! If you want to feel more love in your relationships – then take action and LOVE those people.
“Love the feeling – is a fruit of love the verb” – Stephen Covey

7. We commit to things that we don’t plan on seeing through
For example –“sure, I’d love to catch up sometime. I’ll call you soon to make a date – and you never do”.

Slowly but surely, if you do this enough times to someone, they will begin to withdraw from you. Not because they don’t want your friendship, but because they don’t feel valued and are afraid of getting hurt.

8. We take people in our life for granted
We often EXPECT or believe that it is our RIGHT to have the friends or family we have. We forget that it is actually an honour. Try to remind yourself every day how blessed you are to have the relationships you have.

9. We view our opinions as facts
It’s in our human nature to always want to be right. So instead of challenging our thoughts and opinions, we often accept our opinions as facts.

In the heat of an argument for example, we jump to conclusions and we act on them. We get angry when we really shouldn’t, we judge people inaccurately and we are often blind to our own faults.

10. We often judge people too quickly
It’s never been so easy to judge people than in today’s society. Judging has become the norm. We value people based on their looks and abilities. Try to challenge yourself to see the true value in people.

You never know – if you judge people too quickly – you might miss out on meeting one of the best friends you’ve ever had.

11. We say that we have forgiven someone, yet we are still bitter inside
Forgiveness is not easy. To truly forgive means to not hold a person’s mistakes against them. It means putting it completely in the past…and letting go. That takes courage. It takes courage to show love to someone that hurt you.

It might help to remember that to forgive someone does not mean that you agree with their actions.

12. We make excuses for our actions
When we make excuses for our actions, we are justifying them. We are saying that what we did was OKAY. It was okay to get angry because… It was okay hold that grudge because…

Instead of excusing our behaviour, we should accept it and take responsibility for it. It’s okay to make mistakes. We are beautifully imperfect human’s beings living in an imperfect world.

13. We rely on other people to make us feel good
We can become a burden when we rely too much on other people to meet our emotional needs. Everybody has enough struggles of their own. Of course, it important to have people in our lives to help us feel good, but we should also take responsibility for our own feelings.

How we think will dramatically impact upon how we feel. The decisions we make will impact on how we feel. Before expecting others to go out of their way to make us feel good, we need to take responsibility for our own choices and actions.

14. We put up walls to protect ourselves
Did you know that true betrayal is the ultimate abandonment of a relationship for your own benefit? In other words, you build up enough walls around yourself until there is no way for that person to come in. We need to let people in. Even if they have hurt us in the past. We need to forgive them. Otherwise, we are basically abandoning the relationship.

15. We choose our relationships based on how they can benefit us
What makes a relationship great is when you have an attitude of giving. When we look at the people around us, we should always ask ourselves “how can I give to that person?” and “how can I show them love’?” That is what makes a relationship truly deep, meaningful and fruitful.

16. We expect other people to feel loved in the same way we do
Did you know that we all have different love languages? Your love language and the love language of your partner for example, could be as different as Chinese and English!

There are five love languages including; acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts and physical touch. If you want the people around you to truly feel loved, you have got to learn how to speak their love language.

17. We use manipulation to get what we want
Have you ever brought up a situation in the past to get what you want? In other words, using guilt to get your way? Love keeps no record of wrongs. Getting in a habit of using manipulation will only start to decay your relationship.

18. We keep all our feelings bottled up inside…and then suddenly we just EXPLODE!
We have a responsibility to assert and express ourselves. If we bottle up all our feelings, chances are, we’ll slowly begin to feel bitter inside and anything that a certain person does or says will eventually annoy us.

Just remember that it’s not fair for your partner, friends and family if you don’t give them a chance to improve themselves. If you don’t express yourself and tell them what annoys you, how are they supposed to know? It’s not always as obvious as it seems.

19. We expect other people to have learned the same lessons we have
Sometimes something can be so obvious to us, and we just can’t understand how other people don’t understand. It can be frustrating. The truth is, we all go through different experiences and we learn different lessons in life.

Rather than letting this frustrate you, try to be graceful and patient. This is also the best way to influence other people and to get them to start seeing things your way.

20. We stop going the extra mile for people
When was the last time that you went out of your way to show love to someone? For example, buying someone a gift, sending them a nice message or taking them out on a nice date?

Weird huh? You’re probably thinking….”That’s strange, I can’t really remember when the last time was”. Why not be the friend that really makes the people around them feel special and loved…no matter how long you’ve known them. Never seize to go the extra mile and to truly show love to the people around you.

21. We don’t apologize enough
“In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes” – John Ruskin
If there is one thing that can destroy a relationship, it’s pride. Nobody’s perfect. We all most certainly make mistakes. And our actions will most certainly cause hurt to people at times. But apologizing is painful! It is beyond painful! And many of us cannot build up the strength to do it often enough.

But if you can learn to overcome this one big milestone, you’ll watch your relationships flourish. You’ll move past arguments within record time and you’ll wonder why it took you so long to take advantage of this magic word more often.

Take your relationships to a new level

Well, there you go…

21 habits that can really take its toll on our relationships.

The truth is, we have a LOT more control over our relationships than we realize.

Just by changing our actions and ways of thinking, we can bring our relationships to a whole new level!

Rather than feeling frustrated everyday by the people around us…

We can enjoy deeper, more fruitful, more loving, happier and more fulfilling relationships.

And we can know with confidence that we are doing our very best for the people we love.

So I challenge you, from today onwards, do some honest reflection. And figure out the areas that you could improve on!

You’ll truly be amazed by the outcome.

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10 Business Books Every Entrepreneur Needs To Read

Business Books

When an author writes a book, they’re giving us permission to pass through the gates of their mind, as if to say:

“Here yah go, buddy! I wrote this book just for you. It’s filled with the strategies I followed to build a successful business and life for myself. Take as much as you need….”

There are certain business books every entrepreneur needs to read. In this list, you’ll find 10 such business books. Some of them contain timeless business and life advice, while others explore cutting edge concepts and ideas — like exponential technology.

Either way, this list of business books was designed to help entrepreneurs, just like you, gain the actionable information you need to succeed in whatever business you’re in.

Enjoy.


10 Business Books for Entrepreneurs

1) ”Bold” by Peter Diamandis, Steven Kotler

Bold by Peter Diamandis Business Book

Want to learn how to leverage exponential technologies to accelerate growth like you’ve never seen before? “Bold” is the business book for you.

In this powerful book, you’ll learn about using exponential technologies, moonshot thinking, and crowd-powered tools to create extraordinary wealth while you make a meaningful difference on the world doing work that matters…

Expect to learn new and unconventional methods to leveraging the web’s infinite tools to raise money, make money, and manage money.

 

2) ”The 4 Hour Workweek” by Tim Ferriss

The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss Business Book

This is the book that helped me make my own lifestyle design dreams come true. Pick it up if you’re interested in learning to start an online business that allows you the freedom to live life on your own terms.

“The 4 Hour Workweek” is a step-by-step business book for anyone who wants to deliberately create freedom for themselves by leveraging the power of the internet.

 

3) ”Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Business Book

Yep, we’re taken it back old-school style with number three on our list of best business books.“Think & Grow Rich” is one of those books that teaches timeless lessons anyone can apply, both in business and in life.

Originally published back in 1937, this book tells us the principles, habits, and secrets of some history’s most successful business people: Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and many more. Pick it up to model their success.

 

4) “Zero to One” by Peter Thiel

Zero to One by Peter Theil Business Book

This book is a collection of lectures delivered by billionaire investor and founder of PayPal, Peter Thiel, during his teaching years at Stanford.

Along with co-author (and former student) Blake Masters, Thiel has put together a hard-hitting set of standards for entrepreneurs, startups, and thought-leaders to carefully consider when building a business that’s aimed at shaping the future of our society.

 

5) “Leaders Eat Last” by Simon Sinek

Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek Business Book

In this book, author Simon Sinek lays out actionable insights about why leaders need to replace the old “carrot & stick” models of management with more sustainable approaches, that are grounded in empathy and designed to boost engagement and a sense of camaraderie that’s missing in the modern workplace…

Pick this book up if you plan on — or already are — leading a business that’s comprised of teams of people that depend on working together in order to succeed.

 

6) “Influence” by Robert Cialdini

Influence by Robert Cialdini Business Book

Successful businesses are built by successfully selling quality products, programs, and/or services to large numbers of loyal customers…

Successfully selling to these customers requires an individual to possess the knowledge + skills of effectively influencing “browsers” into becoming “buyers.” In his landmark book, “Influence”, Robert Cialdini breaks this down to a science (literally).

In the book, you’ll learn about “The 6 weapons of influence” and how to utilize them in order to persuade prospects + people to buy using science-backed psychological triggers found within all of us.

 

7) “The E-Myth Revisited” by Michael Gerber

The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber Business Book

As entrepreneurs, we want the best for our businesses. We want our business to thrive. To grow. To expand. To prosper… and sometimes, we get so caught up in make all of this happen, we forget about why we start the darn business in the first place.

Before we know it, we’ve created a job for ourselves rather than a self-sustaining business. In “The E-Myth Revisited”, author Michael Gerber helps us approach our business as a business — not a job.

 

8) “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Business Book

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for couple of decades, chances are you’ve heard of “The 7 Habits” by the late great Stephen Covey — but have you actually read it and put it to use as a business book?

If not, then now’s the time to consider doing that. The power of this book comes from the time-less principles (or habits) it’s based off of.

Each of the habits laid out in this book are designed to act as individual prescriptions for effectiveness in every area of life: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yep — financially, too.

 

9) “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Business Book

Are you interested in getting ahead and getting the edge in life — without having to sacrifice your integrity to do it? If yes, then this is your book.

“Never Eat Alone” is a classic book on connecting with others, and must-read for anyone living in the current connection economy.

As author Keith Ferrazzi says in the book, “Success in any field, but especially in business is about working with people, not against them.”

 

10) “Getting Things Done” by David Allen

Getting Things Done by David Allen Business Book

Yah know — you can have some of the greatest, most innovative ideas in the world — and have every single one of them flop due to a lack of ability to EXECUTE.

If you lack the willingness + capability to get things done with effectiveness + efficiency, it doesn’t matter how great your ideas are because when it’s all said and done, success depends upon consistent action.

Lucky for us, here to help us close out this essential list of business books is David Allen’s “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity”.

 

*BONUS* Business Book: “Hooked” by Nir Eyal

Hooked by Nir Eyal Business Book

If you’re interested in learning the mechanics of what goes into designing habit-forming products, then this book is for you.

In this book, author Nir Eyal breaks down the ingredients of a habit-forming product, and uses supporting examples to clarify his points, so that you can really learn how to implement the triggers that popular apps like Google, Facebook, Yelp, and Twitter have used in order to get us “hooked” on their products.

If you’re at all interested in learning what it takes to create products that help others create positive habits in life and business, this episode is for you.

Want to learn how to incorporate habit-forming features into the products you offer in your own business? Click here to listen to an interview I did with Nir Eyal, author of “Hooked”, where we talk about exactly how to do that. (You can also listen on iTunes here.)

 

Which book will you read first?

Now that you’ve got your list of top 10 business books books to books — there’s only one question left…

Which one do you read first? Should you go out and get all of them immediately? Should you read them all at once? Or should you take a lifetime to read them?

So many options. So little time.

Ultimately, it’s totally your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career. But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started:

Subscribe to a book summary site, like FlashBooks Business Book Summaries to get the key-takeaways from the business books on this list.

If you’d prefer to read an entire book, I would highly suggest that you read just ONE book at a time.

 

Sometimes, when we see something new and exciting, we have tendency to want to do/learn/read it all at once… and as we all know, this is nearly impossible to do without stressing ourselves out.

So, choose a book. And then commit to reading it from start to finish.

If you’re in a rush, try Audio books, or Audio summaries.

Finally, if you’re in a super rush, checkout some YouTube video book summaries, like this one.

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4 Keys To Self-empowerment by Living the Examined Life

self empowerment

self empowerment

Our world is rapidly changing and often presents obstacles and events that other generations have not experienced nor learned to cope with. Clearly life in the twenty-first century has vastly changed from the kind of environment that most of us grew up to accept as normal. Today’s children must learn to adapt to information, technology and rapid change in a way that most adults never dreamed possible as they grew to adulthood.

Life has always been, but now vastly more so, a series of changes, challenges and transitions. Navigating through “troubled waters” can often leave us in various states of dismay. However, if we have learned to consciously deal with and move through the smaller changes and challenges on a regular basis, then the larger ones that loom before us seem a little more manageable.

Here is a four-step process that aids both individuals and organizations in moving through both adversity and opportunity, while at the same time, learning new skills and adjusting to new realities.

CLARIFYING VALUES

Take time, both as individuals or as a group, to define your values. What is the code of ethics or principles that you wish to live by? It is important to determine what values you believe to be true, as opposed to what you have been programmed by family, culture, or others to believe is true. It’s a good idea to review these from time to time in order to stay current with any new insights that have been gained.

MODIFYING BEHAVIOR

After ascertaining just what values you want to live or operate by, the next step is to take a good look at how your life aligns with those values. You may need to make some adjustments here.

INNER EXPLORATION

Often there are unconscious or childhood memories that keep us from expressing our truer nature. By confronting and understanding them, we are better able to ameliorate any inappropriate behavior.

And, also, give thought to the body/mind connection. Often the egoic mind fools us into thinking we can’t do something before we even try. The mind is a wonderful servant, but a poor master. Go into your heart space for the most accurate information.

SEEK THE EVOLUTIONARY PERSPECTIVE

There is an evolutionary process that seems to seek the higher good. In psychology this has often been referred to as the “Organic Process,” or in some circles it is called the “Evolutionary Impulse.” Religion would call it “God’s Will,” while other spiritual movements would say “Divine Order.” All are speaking of the same process. It is here that hindsight is better than foresight, and acceptance of what can’t be changed, or “going with the flow,” is the wiser way. And, in the end, we often find that which we resisted most eventually produced incredibly positive results.

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This article is written by Ione Jenson, an educator and counselor in both public and private school systems. She was also an owner and director of a Holistic Retreat and Spiritual Counseling Center for over 23 years.

9781504328579_COVER.inddShe has written, among other books published by Hay House, the recently released book: Coming Full Circle through Changes, Challenges and Transitions. Available at book stores and Amazon.

Find her on Facebook at http://ift.tt/1cQ63ll and her blog at http://ift.tt/1Pg19zv.

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