What Does Your Finger Length Reveal About Your Personality

Your birth date, feet, hand lines and even fingertips may reveal insights to your personality. Everyone has slightly different fingers, but in general you can break it down into 3 main types of finger lengths.

The fingers on either side of your left middle finger, your index and ring finger, are the same size or slightly different with one longer than the other.

Take a look at your own hand and find out what it reveals about your personality.

Remember this is only for fun :)

What Does Your Finger Length Reveal About Your Personality

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A Beginner’s Guide to Walking

benefits of walking

benefits of walking

A friend of mine recently complained that the quality of jeans had lately declined. “They have a tendency to shrink over time,” she said. “They fit tighter and it’s getting difficult to button them up.”

Do you have the same problem?

Deep inside you realize it’s not the jeans, your shape became curvier. And you also notice the shortness of breath you have after walking up just one flight of stairs. It’s obvious you need to exercise. Buying a gym membership isn’t a bad idea but how can you fit that into your already busy schedule? That would be tough.

Let’s be honest, you are just looking for an excuse, right? And I understand why. You pay your gym fees and feel obligated to go, and we generally don’t like obligations. You will likely miss a day or two once in a while, and then have a week-long gap because of that dreaded project deadline. Besides, if you are really out of shape, working out in the gym might be a bit intimidating to you. You might feel inferior to those confident, buff gym junkies, and soon will stop showing up. That will relieve the pressure and discomfort (which we human beings are always looking for, aren’t we?) but, at the same time, you will get frustrated and disappointed with yourself.

While all these problems can be figured out, there is a much easier way to start getting fit—good old WALKING. While working out, running or playing sports might not be for you, walking is a perfect exercise for everybody.

You already do it every day, don’t you? But the thing is you don’t do it enough. It’s recommended that people walk 10,000 steps a day. On average, Americans walk 4K-5K steps a day. And the usual route is the walk to the car, to the desk, to the grocery store (once or twice a week) back to the car and back to His Majesty, THE COUCH.

Walking daily is one of the easiest physical activities you can do to improve your health. You can literally do it right now. I CHALLENGE YOU TO GO FOR A SHORT WALK AFTER YOU FINISH READING THIS ARTICLE. If you decide to do it this very second, without reading to the end, I won’t get mad at you, I promise.

Walking doesn’t require preparation, special equipment, a budget or to be in a good health condition. It has a long list of incredible benefits:

It reduces stress. When you are irritated or upset, go for a walk. You will come back calm and refreshed. How does it work? Exercising, walking in our case, promotes production neurohormones that are associated with improved cognitive functions and elevated mood. Raising the heart rate reverses damage to the brain caused by potentially stressful situations.

Clear thinking. For many of us holding a 9-5 cubicle job, mornings are usually quite stressful. Walking during lunch, and in the evening, after a long, tiring day, can help you sort things out in your mind.

Walking can help ward off dementia. The hippocampus and prefrontal cortex in our brain are crucial to memory formation and complex thinking, and their decline can be a predictor of Alzheimer’s disease. Interestingly enough, as researchers at the University of Pittsburgh discovered, these are the very areas responsive to physical exercise. The higher intensity of workouts correlate with growth of both the hippocampus and the prefrontal cortex. This finding means that exercise can help us prevent a cognitive decline.

Emotional balance. If you want to relax and tune out of all the chatter, walking is the tool for doing that. Pay attention to the trees and flowers you see on your walk, the chirping of the birds and aromas in the air.

It tightens your muscles, including glutes that are in danger of being atrophied if you are a “desk jockey” (simple English: sitting on your butt too much).

It is less stressful on your joints and is perfect for beginners or people with arthritis or osteoporosis because it is a low-impact exercise. A workout is considered low-impact if at least one of your feet remains on the ground at all times. It strengthens your bones. Walking prevents osteoporosis. UCSF research shows that people who walk on a regular basis have healthier knees.

It reduces pain. My dad, who advocates taking long walks, has a knee problem. Every time he had pain, he would walk even more. It seemed counter-intuitive to me. You would want to be careful in those situations, right? Well, Australian researchers found that walking reduces pain in people with osteoarthritis.

3 GREAT ADVANTAGES OF WALKING:

1. It doesn’t require equipment. All you need is a good pair of walking shoes. Don’t go crazy, though. It doesn’t have to be a huge investment.

2. It doesn’t require a specific location. You can walk ANYWHERE: in your neighborhood, in the woods, on the beach, in the city, you can continue the list. If you are on a business trip, not only can walking serve as a workout, but also as sightseeing.

3. IT IS FREE.

For those of you who shamelessly consider walking a boring exercise, I advise that you pair it up with a few activities to enjoy additional benefits.

Listen to audiobooks while walking. http://ift.tt/sb2UWv is a great source. I personally would choose a physical book over any other version—there is nothing like holding a real book in your hands and flipping the pages—but, considering the often crazy pace of life and a lack of time, an audiobook is much better than no book. But don’t replace reading, deal?

Listen to podcasts. This is one of the best forms of education you can ever get, and it is one of my favorites. Download podcasts to your iPod and listen to them whenever you have time. I listen to podcasts when I drive or clean the house—it makes these chores, especially cleaning (hate it!), less depressing.

Learn a new language. Don’t we complain we have no time for that? You can learn dozen of new words and phrases during your walk. http://ift.tt/1nG0mYx.

Practice your photography. You can take lots of amazing pictures regardless of the location of your walk. You don’t need your bulky camera, a cell phone is enough, unless you are a professional photographer.

HOW TO START WALKING EVERY DAY.

Well, going outside for a short walk is easy, right? But how to develop it into a habit? Your success will depend on a few things:

Start with a small goal. Walk 15 min a day. Too much? OK, do 10min. Too difficult? If you are completely out of shape, or obese (that’s fine, I still like you), walk 5min a day, but do it daily for a week. Double the time the following week. Difficult? Do small increments, nobody cares how slow you’ll increase your walking distance. You are not in a competition. No pressure. JUST DO IT.

Find a partner who will keep you accountable, encourage you to stick to your plan. It will actually be a mutual thing, you will support him/her as well, which, in my opinion, is a pleasant feeling. It might be a family member, a friend, a neighbor, a PTA parent or someone from your church.

Change your route occasionally. If there is a park, a river, a pond or trail close to your house, alternate your route location to make walking more fun.

Invest in a good pair of walking shoes. Don’t go overboard or turn it into a week-long research to find the best one on the market to start walking. If you do that, you are just procrastinating. In the beginning, you can walk in your most comfortable shoes, and keep looking and shopping around for a better pair if you want to, but don’t put off your daily walk. Steve Kamb walks in Vibrams. They seem very comfortable and I am thinking of buying a pair for myself.

Challenge yourself to stick to your walking routine for 30 days. Mark each day in the calendar, or keep your daily log, or journal about it. Better yet, start a blog. Why not? Share your daily experiences, challenges, photos for that matter. There are lots of people who do that. You might get loyal readers and have a great opportunity to inspire others.

Join your local walking or hiking group. You can find it at: www.meetup.com. You will become a part of community of people who will encourage and help you. By doing so, you are going to kill more than two birds with one stone: you will exercise, meet new people and make new friends, and have lots of fun.

Reward yourself. Reward is a powerful strategy in developing a new habit. At the end of the week, when you successfully met your goal, treat yourself to something you like (junk food is not an option, there must be something else you like, think hard). Buy yourself a book; go to a movie or a spa.

Positive affirmations. The direct connection between mind and body has long since been proven and this subject is not arguable anymore. You must have heard this: “Change your thoughts; change your life.” When the mind thinks healthy thoughts, the body finds it easier to be healthy. Using positive affirmations is a powerful way of creating healthy habits:

I WALK EVERY DAY TO KEEP MYSELF FIT AND HEALTHY

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY FOR A WALK

I AM FILLED WITH ENERGY TO DO EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME HEALTHY

Drink enough water. You have to drink water before and after your walk. In hot weather or when on a hike, drink it while you walk.

Warming up before walking is a must. Unfortunately, this step is often ignored. By warming up, which is exercising at a low intensity, you get your blood circulating, preparing your body for exercise. This will prevent injuries. Do easy movements, such as ankle circles, leg swings and pelvic loops for 5 minutes.

TAKE IT UP A NOTCH

Add weighted ankle or wrist straps to make walking a little more challenging.

These weights securely strap around the ankles and provide more intensity and resistance. Ankle weights help with faster weight loss by burning 5 to 15 percent more calories than walking without weights.

There are several types of ankle weights with various poundage. The American Council on Exercise recommends that you limit the weight amounts to 3 lbs. If you have joint pain, check with your doctor before you begin using ankle weights.

Walking is a very simple, low impact exercise with endless benefits. Don’t spend days shopping for the best walking shoes, pedometer, methods to measure your progress and mapping out the route. JUST START. NOW. The rest you will figure out later.

Don’t forget to set your daily, weekly and monthly goals. For example:

Week 1 walk 10 min each day

Week 2 walk 15 min each day

Week 3 walk 25 min each day

Set your goals at any number you are comfortable with. The main goal is to MAKE WALKING A HABIT.


Anna Ayrapetyan 
 is a happy mother of two, a wife and a blogger who is passionate about healthy lifestyle. In her younger years, she overcame a serious digestive disorder by changing her diet and using natural treatments. Anna started her blog http://ift.tt/1DKwTCg with a goal to help people achieve health by altering their eating habits, eliminating processed foods and cooking healthy, nutritious meals.

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13 Reasons Why Some People Never Attain Success and How to Make Sure You Do

It is very sad to say, but many of us will never realize our true potential. We were all born with talent, but very few of us ever take the time or put the work in to find out what our talents are and to develop them.

I worked at a large Hardware Store for a few years in the early 2000s while attending college. I worked as a cashier. It was a great place to work at the time especially for me. I could make some money, get assistance with my college tuition and also I could work on shifts, so that was my dream job at the time.

13_reasons_why_people_does_not_attain_successDuring my time there I met a lot of young people who like me were trying to get ahead. We all worked hard and long hours but what amazed me was that everybody complained about their job, and their boss but no one wanted to go to college or to do anything to change their lives. I was a bit older and coming from a different culture with a totally different mindset I became somewhat of a mentor. I thought this was a great opportunity to earn a living and go to college at the same time.

I worked hard at my job like most but would be more excited about leaving for the university at the end of my shift. I knew I didn’t want to work at this job forever, so I worked hard making sure I had other choices.

After graduating college, I went on to Graduate school. I lived in the area so occasionally go to the store to get things for my apartment. It would break my heart because the people there even though very excited to see me, would still be complaining about the job and management, and yet no one ever made an effort to do anything about it.

By this time, I was growing in my career and completing my masters. A few had gotten married and or had children of their own but they were there either still frustrated or now trapped in a job they disliked but need to get a paycheck yet no one had made the commitment to do anything about their life. They didn’t seem to want even to move up the ladder to become a manager of even a supervisor.

If you want to become successful, you need to make changes in your life and most of all in the way you have been doing business. Observe the people you perceive as successful and who you would want to be like. Adapt the way they do things. Do the research on their lives and how they conduct themselves, do business and follow their lead.

Everyone can become successful if they want to and want to badly enough to want to do whatever it takes to get them there.
If you find yourself year after year in the same position and doing the same thing maybe, you need to take a good look at yourself and reassess what it is you want for your life. There is no way you can continue to do the same thing year after year and expect the results will be different.

If you find yourself in the same situation I was in here are some tips that people who remain stuck tend to do, and you should avoid them at all cost:

  1. They fail to figure out what it is they want

Many people go through life bouncing from pillar to post all because they do not know what they want. You must first decide what it is you want to achieve, and then you can work towards it. It like sailing you could spend your entire life on the ocean and never get to shore unless you have a destination point you want to reach. You must decide early what it is you want, and the put the plans in place to work towards attaining that goal.

  1. They fear failing

The fear of failing is the biggest dream killer. People have such a fear that they might fail at what they do that they refuse to even make an effort. Failure is an inescapable even if you intend on becoming successful. Failure is only a sign that either you need to reassess what you are doing, or you need to try harder you are on the right track. You need to be happy when you fail as it could mean you are almost there. Face your fear and go after your dream. It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.

  1. They listen to people who do not care about their dreams

If you listen to people when you discuss what you want to aspire to be or the business you want to start, you will never get going. People do not see your vision and might not be able to understand it even if you explain it to them. Some will outright discourage you from going after your dreams because either does not want to lose you to your ambitions, or they do not think you can be successful. You must have the confidence to go out on your own and make up your mind to be successful or die trying.

  1. They lack confidence

If you do not believe in yourself how you can then expect others to believe in you? You must believe that you can achieve anything you want and put your mind to and be prepared to do it. Your confidence is part of the puzzle to success. Look at all the very successful people you see on TV or know they all have an aura about them. They are confident, and they believe they can do anything and guess what they can. Once you believe it you can achieve it.

  1. They procrastinate

People who are successful seize the moment. They are always looking for an opportunity to improve on what they have already started or to start something new. They do not put things off for another day when they can do it today. If you find yourself delaying or putting things off, then you will never find the time to do it. There will never be the right time, or you will never have enough money to go after your dreams. You must be willing to take the chance of what you have and not delay if any longer.

  1. They are afraid to take the risk

Successful people are risk takers. They are not afraid to put themselves on the line. They are confident enough that they can take the risk ordinary people wouldn’t dream of taking. They know the greater the risk the great the rewards and successful people keep their minds on the rewards. If you are afraid to take risks, you will never become successful in life. You must be willing to gamble with your life.

  1. They fail to seek knowledge

If you are not someone who believes in constantly learning something new, you will not be successful. The world is changing so fast and in order to keep up you must be willing to put the time in to learn new things and to apply that knowledge. Knowledge is power, and that power leads to success. Take a look at the most successful people around they are always trying something new or trying to increase their knowledge of what they can do to better themselves and their business. They refuse to stop learning, and that is why they are so very successful. You too need to adopt that attitude. You do not need to go back to school to get a Masters Degree or Ph.D. unless that is important to you, but you need to be constantly updating your knowledge base.

  1. They are quitters

Quitter never wins and people who never win will never success. If you want to be successful, you must be willing to work hard and never give up. Losers give up. Successful people never dream of giving up. It is not in their nature to quit. Success isn’t for sprinters; it is more for the long distant runners. People who are willing to put in the time and effort in trying to achieve success will become successful. Successful people never quit. They work at it day after year and year after year until they achieve their goal. Once you’ve set a goal for yourself, do not stop until you get it…

  1. They are impatient

Impatient people cannot become successful because they do not give themselves the time for their dreams to be realized. You need to give yourself and your dream time to come to life. Successful people take all the time required to make their dreams a reality. They set goals for themselves and also set long-term and short-term goals. You need to do likewise. Set your short-term goals for about two years and the long term ones ten years and above. You will not see your dreams realize in a month or so. It just doesn’t work that way. You have to be patient to see the fruit of your labor.

  1. They are ungrateful

People who are ungrateful cannot be successful as they do not see the need to be grateful for the small things they have been blessed with. Successful people are very grateful for everything they have been given since they have learned early that being grateful will help you to appreciate life and all it has to offer.

  1. They complain a lot

People who will never become successful spend their lives complaining about everything and everyone. Anyone who complains a lot will always be frustrated, angry, bitter and, for this reason, do not have any time or energy to pursue their dreams. Instead of working on improving themselves and their lives they spend their entire life complaining about how horrible their lives are. Successful people do not waste time complaining. They take action. You need to do likewise. If there is something, you are not happy with go out and change it. Do not waste your time and energy complaining about things you have no control over.

  1. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions

If you aren’t prepared to take responsibility for your action, then you will never be able to become successful. Successful people put the blame where it belongs, and that is on them. They take responsibility for their actions. You likewise need to be able to take the responsibility for your life and action. It is never anyone else’s fault why you aren’t achieving your goals. The onus is on you to make sure your dreams are realized.

  1. They aren’t dreamers

If you are not able to dream and dream big, you will never achieve your goals. You must be able to see in your mind’s eye where you want to reach and what you want to achieve long before you set out to go out to achieve it. Dreaming is what will make you work harder and longer and even when the times are rough. There will be bad days and good days, and your dreams are what will help you to remain motivated and want to continue to work hard.

What lessons have life taught you long the way that could help others?

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The Magic

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We all have magic inside of us and I wanted to make this quick video to let you know just how powerful that magic is.

Posted by StevenAitchison on Sunday, April 26, 2015

For a while now I have been wanting to write a blog article on the subject of the Law of Attraction, but I am not comfortable with the term Law of Attraction, and don’t really believe in the whole concept with the way it is being taught and so wanted talk about it in another way with more detail, but couldn’t think of a name for it. Then, a few weeks ago when I was out walking my dog I figured it out: MAGIC

Magic is not quite the law of attraction, it’s not cosmic ordering, it’s not about praying or religious in any way and not about Wicca, although you may call it that. It’s simply about Magic: The kind of magic we all have inside of us, but we’ve forgotten how to use it. We had the magic as children, and then life got in the way and most of us lose it as we go into adolescence.

This article is probably one of my longest but I hope one of the most useful articles I have ever written.

I also have to say that whilst doing research on this I came across 3 books by Genevieve Davis called: Becoming Magic, Doing Magic, and Advanced Magic. When I found these books I promptly downloaded them and then thought about not publishing this article, as the ideas in Genevieve’s books were so close to the thoughts I had on this topic, it was like listening to (I bought the audio books) my own thoughts and writings on the subject.

However I have decided to publish it anyway, mainly because I didn’t want to waste 4 weeks of research and writing and I believe I can help open up the topic of magic to another audience and hopefully help Genevieve reach a new audience as well.

I also notice there is another book by Rhonda Byrne called ‘The Magic’, but since this is not a book, I don’t mind that so much.

What is The Magic

When we think of magic we think of the likes of Harry Potter, or witchcraft or possibly the druids. However, magic is not about making potions, casting spells, and using wands, all those things are just tools to focus the mind on the magic.

The MAGIC is you!

magic-womanYou are the magic, you have the power of magic inside of you right now, lying dormant, possibly unused ever in your life, or for some unused for a number of years. You are the vessel that holds the magic and your mind is the tool to help unleash it.

It is the power we have to bring about change in our lives by using the power of the subconscious mind. Now, before you stop reading and say, ‘Oh, I’ve heard it all before.’ hear me out, as I guarantee you this will be life changing for a lot of you reading this.

Magic is the powerful force that helps us gather the people and the objects we need and sometimes want in our lives. The mind is the key that unlocks it and in this article I want to show you how to unlock the magic.

How I came to learn of The Magic

Being honest I always knew there was something different about me, even as a young child and I believed, even back then, in the power of magic, only I didn’t know how to harness it.

It wasn’t until I was older that I really started learning about it and using it in my every day life, and learning a hell of a lot along the way. And Today I use it every day, I am literally magic, just like you, only i have learned a little more about it and can bring about change without really thinking about it.

Some examples from my own life:

Since the age of about 25 I had started to look for my ideal partner, as I was tired of ‘Playing the field’ and the single life. I looked, had a few girlfriends, but nobody came along that made me say ‘She’s the one’. Well, I looked for around 7 years and one day on the 19th July 2002 I let go. I let the thought go of finding my ideal partner and told myself it’s okay to be single and happy and I mentally let go as I walked along the street to work that morning.

Then on the way back from work at around 5pm I was persuaded to go out for a drink as Cathy, from another department (Thank you Cathy) was celebrating her 40th birthday, and even though I didn’t know Cathy that well, and didn’t want to go out, I went out for a drink and ended up staying longer than ‘Just the one’.

At 7.30pm someone walks into the bar to join our crowd and my jaw literally dropped and i blurted out ‘Who the fuck is that’ in a mesmerised state (sorry for swearing, but that’s what I said). It turned out it was the sister of someone who worked with me.steven-aitchison

13 years later we’re still madly in love and have two sons and a mental little dog.

That’s just one example of Magic, and one of the principles at work: Letting Go of the Outcome, which we will talk about later.

GuidedMind.com

In 2012 I truly wanted to give up my full-time job as an addiction worker and work full time online, but just didn’t see how it was going top be possible due to financial reasons. I worked out I would need around $3,000 per month to give up my full-time job. So again, I quickly seen in my imagination myself working from home and let the thought go and entrusted the magic to do it’s job.

A few months later I was chatting with a friend on Skype, who already ran some very successful websites, and told him my ideas about doing guided meditations and had already tested the market. He suggested we collaborate.  After a few months of talking  we agreed to start a new site and his company would pay me advanced royalties for every guided meditation I wrote and recorded until we got the site to go live a year later, the amount was around $3,000 per month, that’s when GuidedMind.com was born.

The magic had worked again. I gave up my full-time job in September 2012 and worked full time online, and have never looked back since.

Another example

Another example is a more recent one.

Last year I truly started getting into Facebook and growing my page, so much so that I was getting about 20 FB Messages per day asking how the hell I was doing so well with my Facebook page. I had grown it from 33,000 likes to 540,000 at the time. I answered all the questions in the messages about FB Marketing and then decided to write a course on it, and get all the answers out of my head and on video and put up the website http://ift.tt/1tjjNpe, and that was going to be the end of it, no more telling people how to do it I would just direct them to my course.

your-fb-challengeBut alas, the magic had other plans for me. I had hired a great business coach to move my business further on and she suggested that i should become a coach on Facebook marketing. I thought about it and let it marinate for a while and decided it would be a good idea.  Well, the very next day I received a message from someone asking if I did Facebook Coaching 1 – 1. Not one to ignore the magic, I immediately said yes and set the rates and took on my first coaching client.

Then, a week later, I received a phone call from Curly Martin (the Life Coaches trainer) who wondered if it would be okay to pass on my details to David Vox from Goaly.com who was interested in collaborating on some kind of Facebook marketing course, so I flew to Copenhagen to meet him and it looks like it is going to be very lucrative for me and help a lot of businesses out there who are struggling with their Facebook page.

That’s the kind of magic I am talking about.

Now, you might think it’s all just coincidence, and that’s your prerogative to think that, only I know different and want to teach you how to make it all happen for you, if you’re open to learning?

The first step on the magical path

Magical-path

YOUR BELIEFS

Have you ever wondered why some people can become a huge success and others can’t? Well, it’s all to do with their beliefs. Their beliefs about themselves, and their beliefs about the world around them.

They have created a reality of the world for themselves, and within that reality they have the belief that they are able to do anything they put their mind to.

You too have that power, you have the magic stirring within you right this very second, but you may not know how to tap into it.

I would love to share with you just how amazing you are and how to tap into this amazingness and finally become the person you were born to be.

Let me start with one of my favourite quotes:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
Mahatma Ghandi

I also have a video to show you about the power of beliefs which gives you an insight into how our beliefs are formed:

http://ift.tt/1hrYeCJ

Okay, time to show you just how amazing you really are:

Reality is Based on Your Perception of the Truth

Your reality is based on your perception of the truth, meaning that what you believe to be true about yourself and the world around is true. However, someone else with different beliefs and a different view of the world also has a reality that is true and real to them. In effect we all have a different view of the world and it all starts with our beliefs.

Change your beliefs and you change your view of reality.

realitySo how does that work?

Okay, let me ask you if you’ve ever had this experience before:

You see someone in a bar, a club or at your local gym. You have noticed them before and don’t find them particularly physically attractive. So you believe they are not physically attractive, according to what you believe attractiveness is. However, when that person speaks to you, you find they have an amazing personality, they make you laugh, they are intelligent, and quick witted. Suddenly your view of them literally changes, you now find that you are physically attracted to them, their appearance seems to have changed somehow and your belief about what makes someone physically attractive suddenly changes. Have you ever had that experience?

That’s not to say that everyone with a great personality is going to look physically attractive, as there has to be some core elements of physical attractiveness, or what you believe constitutes attractiveness.

That’s only 1 example of how beliefs shape our world.

How Our Beliefs are Formed

Psychologists say that most of our beliefs have already been formed by the age of seven years old.

SEVEN YEARS OLD!

We are not cognitively able to comprehend what beliefs are at that age and have not fully formed an opinion of the world at that age, and yet most of our beliefs about the world have already been formed and carry on into adulthood.

Where our beliefs come from

Most of our beliefs comes from our parents, our teachers, our peers, our close family and the TV and media, predominantly from the person who raised us as children.

father-sonsYou’ve got to ask yourself: If your parents are the primary source of your beliefs, where did they get their beliefs from? Well, they got it from their parents, and their parents got it from their parents. So in effect some of your beliefs are literally hundreds of years old, being passed down from generation to generation.

That’s not to say that’s a bad thing as some beliefs stand us in good stead e.g. Believing that family is important, that you have to work hard to get somewhere in life, you believe in justice, that all people should be treated with respect and so on.

However, some of your beliefs are outdated and if you wish to change them then you need to acknowledge them first.

Why Change Our Beliefs to Walk the Magical Path

That’s a very good question we have to ask ourselves, why change our beliefs?

If we break beliefs down to their simplest state you have two different types of beliefs:

Disempowering beliefs – Beliefs that hold us back in life.

The disempowering beliefs are holding us back from truly living a life of fullness and wellness, and can even cause us physical and mental harm if we don’t recognize them and acknowledge them. Beliefs like: I am not good enough, I am not intelligent enough, I am no good at (insert subject here), I am too old, I’ll never have any money. All these beliefs and more hold us back, they stop us from growing as human beings, and our purpose in life is to grow as much as we can and to reach, what Abraham Maslow calls, Self Actualization.

Empowering beliefs – Beliefs that drive us forward and help us to grow.

The empowering beliefs are the ones we should nurture and aim to install in our minds in order to help us reach our true potential in life. These are the beliefs that drive us forward, that help us to grow and help us to achieve all of our goals in life. Nobody would have any goals in life if they didn’t have some empowering beliefs, so you see you already have some empowering beliefs already.

So to answer the questions why we need to change our beliefs to start our journey on the magical path, it’s to help us grow to reach our full potential.

Your beliefs just now reside within your comfort zone.

Your Beliefs Reside within Your Comfort Zone

Your personal beliefs you have about yourself reside within an area in your mind called your comfort zone. This is the place where nothing really challenges you and you are coasting along in life, minding your own business, and just getting on with life. And that’s okay if you are happy with that, but a lot of us aren’t happy, we want something more, something to challenge our mind, heart and body. Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.

the-magical-path

The thing is, we cannot grow if we are not challenged in life. That’s the reason we go to school to challenge our minds, that’s the reason we go to the gym to challenge our bodies, that’s the reason we start a business, write a book, network, speak in public, take a new job, it’s all to challenge ourselves. Sometimes it can be tough, but the challenging journey we take when we go outside our comfort zone is so much better than the stagnation of staying inside it.

By challenging every area of your life you will change your beliefs about yourself, about what you believe is possible and your reality will change, sometimes overnight, and sometimes over time.

How to Know What Beliefs You Have

It’s strange, if I were to ask you what you believe about yourself you might take a few minutes to even give me a few beliefs that you hold. That’s because we rarely think about the beliefs that we hold in our minds, we just believe something and that’s it, and they don’t really come to the fore unless a strong belief is challenged in some way. For example if I was to tell you that testing new drugs on animals is right (and I don’t believe that) you might suddenly find yourself vociferously arguing against that belief, because you believe it is not right to do that. You’ve now found a deep belief within you without necessarily knowing that belief existed.

So a more practical way to find out what beliefs you have is to set yourself outcomes in life.

challengesOutcomes are things you want to achieve in a certain time frame, for example, getting that book you’ve always wanted to write, finished by the end of the year.

Another outcome a lot of people have is to lose a certain amount of weight by the end of month.

You can write down your outcomes for every area of your life: relationships, money, career, family, health, personal development, recreation, and spirituality. You can even go a step further and use a life wheel to see exactly where you are in life just now.

So for each area of your life you write down your outcomes and that’s when you find out what your limiting beliefs are.

So, say you have an outcome to lose 10Ibs in 30 days, you write down what your limiting beliefs are about that particular outcome e.g.

     · I don’t have the willpower to do it

     · I can’t do it

     · I’m too big to go to the gym, everyone will look at me

     · My partner will feel threatened if I lose weight

These are all good to know, because without acknowledging our limiting beliefs we will never get over them.

How to Change Your Beliefs – The Beliefs Formula

I have come up with a belief formula, it’s not necessarily new or anything groundbreaking but it’s a formula you can use and easily store in your mind to help you.

         Perception + Evidence + Repetition + Time = Belief

So let’s break each part of the formula down:

Perception – This is the current perception you have about yourself at any particular time. For example you might believe that you are not an intelligent person. That’s the perception you have of yourself at this particular time.

Evidence – The evidence you have gathered over the years to prove that perception might be: you failed your exams in the past, you feel stupid around other people, other people may have said that you weren’t particularly intelligent and so on. Your subconscious mind has gathered all this evidence to prove your perception.

Repetition – Over the months and years you’ve repeatedly reminded yourself of why you are not intelligent so your mind just assumes that you’re not intelligent and the deeper the belief will be entrenched.

Time – This is about the length of time you’ve held this belief. The longer you’ve held a belief the more you will believe it. So if you’ve told yourself for years that you’re not intelligent then guess what, you’re not that intelligent, or so you think!

That’s how a belief is formed. Similarly you have empowering beliefs that have been formed using the exact same formula. So if you believe you are intelligent and you have gathered evidence over the years to prove that and you’ve repeated that belief over the years, then you are intelligent, no question, you just are.

Question Your Beliefs

Once you’ve found out what your disempowering beliefs are by writing down the outcomes and disempowering beliefs in Big Idea number 5, you then start to question each belief.

Your beliefs are like an egg, hard on the outside but liquid on the inside, unless it’s hard boiled which is a deeper held belief. Once you start to crack the shell of the egg you can start to change it.

The way to start cracking the egg, or your beliefs, is to question them.

For example if you believe that you are not intelligent, you would question that belief. You would ask yourself ‘is that really true’ and then you would find examples to prove that you are intelligent: you passed that exam at school, you work in a position of authority and need intelligence to be organized and do your job well, you read lots of mentally stimulating books (by the way that’s the very best way of increasing your overall brain power, not just intelligence), and so on.

So you’ve cracked open the shell of that belief it’s now time to replace it with another new, empowering belief.

Installing a New Belief

This is a lot easier than you would imagine.

Once you’ve identified a new belief you would like to install, you essentially immerse yourself in the new belief until your subconscious accepts it as true and integrates it into your mental operating system. I love to use visualization with physical proof, but a lot of people use affirmations combined with strong emotion.

install-new-beliefsUsing evidence from your past you can install the new belief by reminding yourself on a daily basis the evidence you have to prove your new belief. You then go on to gather more evidence by going out and putting your new belief into practice, which means more evidence to prove your belief.

For example you want to have the belief that you can lose weight easily:

You would remind yourself a few years ago just how much weight you lost, which proves you can lose it, you then remind yourself you actually enjoyed going to the gym back then, you enjoyed being healthier, and you remind yourself about the great comments you received from other people telling you how great you looked and that you seemed to lose weight quite easily.

So you start going to the gym again and begin to enjoy it, you feel more healthy by going to the gym, so your mind tells you to eat more healthy, friends start to comment again about how great you look which motivates you more, you start to see the weight dropping off, your old clothes fit you again, pretty soon your mind tells you it is easy to lose weight and you have installed a new belief.

Remember the belief formula:

         Perception + Evidence + Repetition + Time = Belief

But, what if you don’t have evidence from your past?

then you have to start gathering evidence from now on.  Every little thing that happens, no matter how small, take it as evidence that you new belief is taking shape.  This way you will amass evidence that will help you install the new belief that you want.  It might take a little time, but eventually the new belief will just be a part of who you are.

The Magic of Believing

The beliefs you hold about yourself are the source of magic, and not many people know how to control. You now have that power in your own hands, you’re the Harry Potter of your world, but there’s no need for a wand to channel your magical powers, it’s all held in your mind and your bodies energy.

To show you just how powerful beliefs are I want to share a story from a respected Physician named Bernie Siegel, who has written a lot of books. In Tony Robbins’ book he has a conversation with Bernie Siegel:

“I had the pleasure of interviewing Yale professor and best-selling author Bernie Siegel. .. Bernie shared with me some of the research he’d done on people with Multiple Personality Disorders. Incredibly, the potency of these people’s beliefs that they had become a different person resulted in an unquestioned command to their nervous system to make measurable changes in their biochemistry. The result? Their bodies would literally transform before the researchers’ eyes and begin to reflect a new identity at a moment’s notice. Studies document such remarkable occurrences as patients’ eye color changing or physical marks disappearing and reappearing! Even diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure come and go depending on the person’s belief as to which personality they’re manifesting.”

We’ve also all heard about the placebo effect, whereby a patient is given a drug for an illness. The patient does not know that the drug is actually a sugar pill, but still shows signs of recovery, because they believe that they have been given a real drug and that it’s going to help them.

There’s hundreds of documented cases about the power of the placebo, and that’s the magic of your mind and the power of belief.

That’s the power of belief and I want you to use those lessons on beliefs when you start your journey on the magical path, because you’re going to need it.

Believing in Magic

For magic to work you’ve got to believe in it.  Well, that’s not very scientific is it?  

Think about it, we don’t do anything in life unless we believe we can do it and magic is no different.

believ-in-magicWe’ve got to believe with all our hearts that it will truly work for us.  I know about magic, it works for me and I know that anybody can practice magic, but this is not about me, this is about you, you’re the one who is going to practice it, you’re the one who is going to walk the magical path for, possibly, the first time.

So let’s get started with.

Now that you know about beliefs we need to start putting the magic into practice using the belief principles.

The first step on the magical path is asking for what you want.

THE ASKING

This is where I have an issue with the law of attraction teachers.  It is made out that all we have to do for our desires to manifest is just ask and they will come to us.  Well, that’s just not true.  In fact the asking part of the magic is probably the least important.

I want to share with you an amazing way to ask for your desires to manifest themselves.

Writing a letter to the universe.

letter-to-the-universe

About 18 months ago I wrote an article for GuidedMind called Writing a Letter to the Universe which was an updated version of something I wrote about 6 years ago called ‘An Invoice to The universe’.  Here’s how it works:

Write a letter as if you’re writing to a friend, and describe the situation you are in just now e.g.

“Dear Universe, I am struggling financially just now and don’t have enough money to make the payments for my car, and I really need the car to get to work. I’ve tried everything I can think of and can’t seem to find a solution”

Your concerns

Normally with the Law of Attraction we don’t mention what we are fearing, instead we focus on the positive, but it’s important to rid ourselves of the fears we have.

So write down your concerns about what might happen. In the example above you might say, ‘I’m really concerned that I will lose my job if my car is repossessed, and that I will find it difficult to get another job if I don’t have a car…….’

Just keep going and let all your concerns be noted in your letter.

This does two things; it helps to dissipate your anxious feelings, it’s like talking to a friend ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ and all that. Secondly, it builds up your positive emotions. You might think that writing a letter like this will increase your anxiety, but it actually sets your mind up to receive a positive outcome.

State your Desire

Okay, now you’ve got all your concerns out of the way it’s time to state exactly what you desire to happen. What do you need to happen? What do you want to happen? When do you want it to happen? this is where you become more positive and outcome focused again.

Using the example above you might say:

‘I would like to be able to make this month’s car payment in full before the (insert date here). I would also like a little more to be able to have next month’s car payment in my bank account to make sure I don’t get in this situation again.

I am so grateful for my car and really don’t know what I’d do without it, it gets me to work, helps me socially keep in touch with all my friends, and lets me see amazing places I wouldn’t have otherwise seen.’

Become emotionally involved in your desire

You have to send out the emotion of your desire as if you have already achieved it.  You do this by thinking what it will be like when you gain your desire.  really put yourself and visualise yourself as having achieved what you want.  Do this for a few minutes, and then go onto the next part.

Your emotions are what will give the magic even more power, it’s like throwing petrol over a fire, it will explode your ability to do the magic that is within you.

Gratitude

In your final paragraph thank the universe for delivering your desire, and write it as if it’s already happened. really get into this state of gratitude, as it will line up your vibrational energy to receive your desire. Tell the universe how amazing it is, and how you are in constant awe, no need to suck up, just appreciate the efforts it has made in helping you.

Let it go

Once you finished writing the letter, sign it, date it, fold the letter and put it in an envelope. Place the envelope in a drawer that’s only used for letters to the universe, or you can use a special box. If you’re writing it on the computer, make a folder named’ Letters to The Universe’ and put it on your desktop and place the file you have written in your folder.

Letting go of the outcome is extremely important.  You should not think or dwell on your desire again, as it’s now time for you to trust the magical process.  Believe that it is working and your desire is being processed, and then put it out of your mind.

This works as it gets you out of the way of the magical process.  Have you ever forgotten someone’s name and tried your hardest to remember it, only it is not forthcoming, and then you simply forgot about it. Then suddenly a few hours later their name comes to you as if by magic.  That is you getting out of the way, and so it is with letting go of the outcome.  Just get out of the way of the process and it will come to you quicker.

Expect it, believe it and trust that it will come.

That’s the asking part and it’s only one way to ask, but I have found this an amazing way over the years and seems to manifest what I need quicker than anything else.

I may update this post from time to time and will add a letter template for ‘Letter to the Universe’.

Now, onto the magical part of the process: Receiving

THE RECEIVING

Receiving is possibly the hardest part of the magical process as we have not really been taught how to receive what we want correctly.

receiving-magicAs I said earlier you’ve got to truly work on your beliefs that the magic can work for you, and you do this by starting to notice that things are changing for you.  Take a mental note or keep a journal (a small moleskin notebook is ideal for this) of every little thing that happens out of the ordinary.

Keeping a journal like this does two things:

1. It embeds the belief of magic

2. It provides documented evidence and strengthens your resolve to keep practicing magic, instead of dismissing it.

When something small happens e.g. you have asked for £500 in order to pay for your car’s MOT, you unexpectedly receive a bank refund of £100.  This is evidence that the magic is working.  Now, you might say to yourself ‘No’ it’s not, it was just a coincidence’, you’ve got to let go of these thoughts.  The more you start to believe in the magic the quicker it will become a part of your belief system and the quicker it will really start to work for you.  You’ve got to trust me on this, I practice the magic every day and it’s working beautifully.

Don’t tell anyone about the magic

It’s not like fight club: The first rule of fight club is to not talk about fight club :), we keep the magic to ourselves until we firmly believe in it; an unshakeable belief.

So another part of receiving is to keep it to yourself, until you’ve been a competent practitioner and firmly believe in it.  If you were to tell other people they will either laugh at you, ridicule you, or tell you that you’re nuts for believing in magic.

Once you have been practicing this for a number of months/years, then you can start to share your secrets with those closest to you.  When you have a deep held belief about the magic, it won’t matter what anybody else says.  It’s like me trying to tell a christian that god does not exist, it won’t matter as their belief is absolute, and they won’t give two figs about what I say.  That’s the stage you want to get with the magic, and that may take a while.

For now, just record every piece of evidence that it is working for you.

Develop a positive mindset

Positive people have much more energy about them and therefore more magical energy surrounding them, so it’s important to develop a positive state of mind.  You can do this in a number of ways wich i have written about lots of times in this blog, but to give you some major ways in developing a positive state of mind here are a few ways to do it:

Stop reading/watching and listening to the news –  One of the worst things to do is to read, watch or listen to the main news.  Not the sports news or the financial news, but the main news.  It’s overly bias towards negative news and it’s pure mind rot.

Stop gossiping – When you gosspi about someone else you are putting them down in some way and bring your own energy down with it.  stop engaging in this behavious.

Start reading and watching positive books/blogs and watching inspirational videos  One of the best ways to open your mind to positivity is to read inspirational books, and watch inspirational videos.

Stop watching soap operas – You might not belive it but you get just as emotionally involved in a soap opera as you do with the dramas in your own life.  Again they are negative in nature, as they are overly bias toward drama and bad things happening.

Set aside time to spend alone – There is nothing better than getting a bit of peace and quiet and going out for a walk in nature, or curling up with a good book and raises your spiritual energy, connecting you to the magic.

Stop catastrophising e.g. it always rains when I want to go out, my boss is always in a bad mood, everybody hates me…

Let stuff go and stop being angry – In the past whenever someone cut me up on the road i used to get so infuriated and chase after them and do the same to them.  It was such a waste of energy and emotion. Now, if someone cuts me up, I care not a jot, I let them go, and don’t give it a second thought.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to be soft, if someone smacked me in the mouth I would definitely stick the head on them and fight back, and then let it go :)

These are just a few ways to start developing a positive mindset and over time you will see the massive difference these things will make in your life.

Gratitude

Another huge part of the magic is to truly become grateful for what you currently have in your life just now. Without being grateful for what you have in life, you are affirming what you don’t have and want, which is a state of wanting/needing and that will halt the process of magic.

gratitude-magicAgain you can keep a journal and write down 2 things you are grateful for every morning and every evening.  This keeps your mind in a state of gratitude throughout the day.  It can be the small things in life, from having a computer, having a car that works, to the big things like having an amazing wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend.

Just be open to the state of gratitude and this will help to bring about the process of the magic even more in your life.

Putting it all into practice

Please do not start practicing the magic until you’ve fully grasped everything above, this is a process and it will take time to begin your journey, but once you start the process speeds up very quickly.

Don’t test the magic, just ask for something that you need in your life and start to trust it will happen.  If you think to yourself I’ll just test the magic by asking for $10 to come into my life, you’re just playing with it.  Treat this as a major part of your life, and be serious about it from the outset.  Think of it as becoming a way of life, and soon it will just be a natural part of your life.

Why doesn’t it work?

Over the years I have discovered a few reasons as to why magic does not work:

1. Back to the old habits of negative thinking and worrying.  

When we start to allow our lives to become mainly negative, and worrying all the time, the magic will stop working for you.  When you are in this state you are not in flow with the magic, as it requires a certain energy to stay in touch with it, and negative thinking will definitely repel the magic.

2. Asking all the time for the same desires.  

Do you remember when you were a child and you kept on asking your parents for something.  You harped on and on about it until you eventually got a clip around the ear.  That’s how it is with the magic, it will repel the very thing that you desire if you keep asking for it or keep wondering where it is.  This is akin to being in a state of lack, meaning that your mind constantly thinks ‘I don’t have this’.  Stop asking and trust the magic.

3. Lack of belief

This is the big one that stops the magic from flowing.  When you don’t believe in it, you close of the part of your subconscious mind that makes it work, essentially you are cutting the cord between the magic and yourself.  If you find yourself in this state, simply start looking for small pieces of evidence that it is working and bring yourself back to a state of believing.

Step Into The Magic

stepping-into-magic

Okay, that was a long read, but hopefully you got a lot out of it, and I definitely think it is one of my best posts to date.

I will be updating this article from time to time, adding in things here and there and incorporating questions from readers.

I will also make an audio version of this and an ebook version and charge around $7 for it and donate ALL the proceeds to charity.

Please leave any questions or feedback below.

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5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Saying Yes

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Say Yes

how to say no

When my son was only a few months old, I made a vow to myself that I would learn, and have the courage, to say no to things.

Now that he’s three, with another one on the way, I am revisiting that same vow.

Up until the point of being able to say no, I thoroughly enjoyed saying yes; I love doing the work. I was constantly on the go. Networking, building, creating, being involved with various groups and committees.

It’s something that’s very fulfilling for me. I enjoy meeting new, inspiring, high-energy, people. I like starting and building new projects.

The one consistent thing with all commitments is time.

We all have the same twenty-four hours in each day. Life is a bunch of choices and we have the choice on how we spend that precious time.

When I vowed to myself that I would begin to say no to things, what I was really doing was making more time for my family (family is number one to me and always will be).

When you take a step back and look at your day, if your family is at the top of your priority list, it’s almost scary to see the number of hours (lack of hours) we actually have together.

Doing some quick math I figure, that with my own family’s typical daily schedule, we spend a total of six hours of each day together. During that time there’s bath, meals, dishes, etc. It’s scary!

It completely breaks my heart. I don’t want to look back fifteen years from now and say I wish I would have been home more and spent more time with my children when they were young.

So part of this vow on saying no was really making room to spend as much valuable time with my family as possible.

I don’t believe in work-life balance. I look at it as a blend, it’s all life.

The big thing I learned, thus far, is that it’s not about being involved with everything, but rather involving yourself with the right things.

For me to say yes to things, I now prioritize those commitments, projects and opportunities.

In doing so, I ask myself these 5 questions before saying yes:

1. Where can I add the most value?

With time being my most prized resource, I want to make sure that what I am committing to is something I can add value to. Something that I can leave my mark on and make a difference to those involved; either now or down the road.

I look for things where I can offer my unique abilities.

2. Where can I gain the most?

This is where I get selfish. When thinking about what I want to commit to I look at the projects where I would gain the most.

Meaning, I never want to be the smartest person in the room. So I’m continuously seeking opportunities where I can learn the most about the things I want to learn more about.

At that same time, while I am adding value and providing my unique abilities, I want to be consuming other people’s unique abilities; those different from mine and particularly, the abilities that I lack completely.

This question may sound one-sided but I always commit to adding value first. This is a “givers-gain” mindset. Give to something where I can add the most value while gaining tremendous knowledge in the areas I lack from people way smarter than me.

3. What kind of people will I be surrounding myself with?

The people we surround ourselves with affects us tremendously. They affect our drive, motivation, beliefs, energy. They ultimately affect our output, as a person, as our work, as our art; both good and bad.

I want to be around the people who I aspire to be myself. I want to surround myself with highly motivated, energetic, intelligent, like-minded people.

4. Is it something that makes me feel good?

This is where I align commitment with passion, purpose and my heart.

This feeling will drive a lot of the other things going on in my life. It will affect the other people I am closest to. If it becomes just another task on my checklist, not only will I begin to feel the wear, but those around me will sense it and feel it as well.

I want to align it as closely to my core, my DNA, as possible.

5. Am I able to commit 100%?

When I say yes to something, I mean it. I want to give it my best 100% of the time. I want to give it my undivided attention and the attention that it needs and deserves; and ultimately, the attention that I promised.

When I noticed myself saying yes to everything I began to see the quality and productivity go down. I was spreading myself too thin.

We are wired to be able to think we can do it all. We may be able to, some make it work really well, but I can almost certainly say something is being sacrificed.

For most of us, we need to learn to say no.

Eric Ungs is founder of the Unless You Care Project. He writes and coaches about leading a life of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook. Connect with Eric at UYCproject.com and on Twitter.

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Quiz – Pick A Door to Your Future

This test has been shared around the web on a number of sites and incredibly it always receives very positive results.

All you need to do is take a look at the arches, then down the path it shows. The path you choose can reveal a lot about your potential future. The results are usually pretty accurate.

pick-a-door

 

If you chose number 1, your path is freeing. You are the type of person who needs a ton of space. You need the freedom to do things your own way, you prefer a path that you carve yourself, especially one with infinite possibilities and routes. You don’t want to feel constrained and are highly independent, rebellious even, but you don’t like confrontation. You’re more likely to passively resist someone or something. You hate being rushed, and prefer to take the to  time savour life. You’re too busy enjoying life to draw attention to yourself (This was my choice).

If you chose number 2, your path is private. You are the kind of person who prefers to travel alone. You like to observe, think, and sort out whatever is in your head. You prefer a path that’s fit for one. You can see others once you arrive at your destination, but you need your downtime first. You are very original and insightful. You look at the world in a unique way, and others can benefit from your point of view. You are a bit of a loner, but you connect well with people when you take the time. You are very understanding.

If you chose number 3, your path is colourful. You are a very engaging and engaged person. You love to be part of the world… you like to experience it all. Your ideal path is filled with colour, excitement and beauty. For you, it’s more about the journey than the destination. You are curious and excited to learn more. You love to start conversations, and you ask lots of questions. You are intellectual and witty. You think of more zingers than you’d ever use, and you keep people laughing (This was also my choice!)

If you chose number 4, your path is exciting! You are always moving forward in life, often into the unknown. You just go for it and deal with the consequences later. Your ideal path is unpredictable and maybe a little scary. You are drawn to the unknown. You can be a rule breaker, and you’re even somewhat careless. You have been known to act without thinking, but it usually all works out for you. You are very spontaneous and a major thrill seeker. You are going to make the most of the time you’ve been given on this planet!

If you chose number 5, your path is welcoming. You are a peace-seeking low maintenance person. You are very content, and you don’t like to be bothered. Your ideal path is clear cut and enjoyable. You want to enjoy your trip and to know what you’re getting into. You will often take the easy choice whenever possible. Life is hard enough, and you never want to make it harder on yourself, you are stable and supportive of those around you. You are known for your consistency and down to earth perspective.

If you chose number 6, your path is quiet. You value solitude in all aspects of your life. You can spend large periods of time alone without feeling lonely. Your ideal path is one that is very still and quiet. You want to absorb everything around you without feeling overwhelmed. You seek meaning in every aspect of life. You live your life very deliberately- both in action and in thought. You don’t like crowds, but you do like people. You value authentic relationships, and you prefer the depth of one on one interaction.

Thank you to in5d for this

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3 Ways to Become Fascinating and Compel People to Listen

3 Ways To Become Fascinating and Compel People To Listen

Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours / Dale Carnegie

*Sigh*

Social gatherings are unnerving.

Do you feel uncomfortable around other people?

They talk … and you sit there like a fish. You try to join in the conversation but you struggle to find the right words. And everything you say sounds bland.

Why can’t you be a bubbly and engaging person?

I used to be awkward at social gatherings. I was stressed out about finding the right words. And when I said something it turned out completely wrong. I felt dumb.

But I implemented a simple plan. A plan to become interesting. To compel people to listen.

Shall I explain?

  1. Read Like a Psychic

As a kid I loved watching psychic shows.

The dim lights. The quiet music that raises the tension as the psychic picks a volunteer from the crowd.

As expected the psychic reads the volunteer like an open book.

But once in a while he would miss.

He would say that the 40-year old man in a suit had made a big investment lately. And when he found out he was wrong, he’d say that the image wasn’t clear, and he’d soon make a big investment like buying a car, or a house, or property.

But when I grew up I found out their dirty little secret.

They don’t have supernatural powers. They’re exceptionally good at reading people. They obtain a great deal of information by analyzing the person’s body language, clothing and manner of speech. And then they make an educated guess.

The same approach works when communicating.

When you meet someone, don’t just look at him. PAY ATTENTION.

  • Notice his clothing, body language and manner of speech.
  • Engage him with questions using what you have observed.
  • Notice subtle cues such as changes in facial expression or body language. They indicate whether you’ve nailed it or not.

Make it a game. Discover as much as you can about the other person.

Did you make him excited? Intrigued? If not, keep guessing.

Enchant people with your observations. Captivate them with your questions.

  1. Write From The Heart

 Do you struggle with words?

Start writing.

It helps you develop your ability to express your ideas verbally. To come up with the right words every time.

But writing is not enough.

Ask yourself.

When you want something, how much logic do you use?

How much is based on emotion?

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion / Dale Carnegie

Listening to an emotionless speaker is like eating a bland dish. It might look delicious but after one bite you lose interest and move to a yummy piece of cake.

Spice up your writing.

Write from your heart. Get excited. Touch your audience. Make them feel your words.

When you speak from the heart you become enthusiastic. When you speak your truth you get excited. And enthusiastic people are so much more interesting listening to.

Write frequently.

You may not feel it happen, but it will change you. Drastically. You’ll still be you, but you’ll be a better version of you.

And you’ll see the results.

Where you used to get a halfhearted response from people, you’ll start getting their full attention.

Your thoughts will be formed better.

You’ll be more enthusiastic and your language more vivid, letting your emotions shine through.

Apply to emotions. Compel people to listen.

  1. Stop Talking

You know how this goes.

You’re enjoying a cup of coffee with your friend.

He’s ranting about his job, how his boss gives him a hard time. Riding his ass the whole day for being late. But you’re so immersed in your own thoughts that you hardly hear what he’s saying.

When having a conversation do you listen? Or are you trying to come up with something smart to say?

Start listening.

Don’t try to come up with a solution. Pay attention to what the other person is saying.

Be truly interested in him. Ask questions.

Most people think they need to have smart ideas to be a good conversationalist, but it’s far more important to ask good questions.

This makes you an interesting conversationalist even when you say almost nothing.

Heck, you might even learn something new.

The Truth About Becoming Interesting

Being interesting is not about being an extrovert.

It’s not about having charisma or not.

To have a good chat, you need to listen more than you talk.

Pay attention to the other person. Be curious about him. Encourage him to speak.

Make him feel you’re genuinely interested in him.

Captivate him. Fascinate him. Enchant him.

Sweep him off his feet.

 

Benny (@BenjaminMalev) is an energetic family man. He’s on a mission to help men live their life to the fullest, while putting their family first. Join him and learn to live a vibrant life at Vibrant Dad.

 

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3 Key Reasons You Might Not Be Losing Weight

how to lose weight

how to lose weight

Deciding to take the step to getting healthy can be overwhelming as you often wonder where do you even start. There is so much information out there that trying to add in all these new foods and lifestyle changes can lead you feeling defeated before you have even begun.

I believe that you first need to look at the things that can be sabotaging your ability to lose weight and get healthy. These three things should be looked at if you are just getting started or you have already been committed to a healthy lifestyle for years

1. NOT EATING ENOUGH

I find this as one of the biggest misconceptions in weight loss.

It seems simple enough that if you start eating less you’ll automatically lose weight, But when you see how the body treats that you will think again before drastically cutting calories

Your body needs to be in a state of balance. If you’re cold your body starts to shiver to get warm, if you’re tired your body starts to slow down as it craves sleep. When you start to deprive yourself of food your body compensates by also slowing your metabolism. Since calories are being consumed sparingly the body will start to expend energy less in order to preserve the few precious calories it has.

This can grind weight loss to a halt as the body is now trying to desperately hold on to what it has making each pound loss a longer and longer process. The flip side is when an abundance of food is then introduced back in (which will eventually end up happening after trying to restrict food for too long) your body with an already lowered metabolism will very readily convert the new influx of calories into body fat.

Your body has been starved and it doesn’t know if it will be getting food again so it quickly converts the sudden influx of food into stored energy aka body fat.

A reduced calorie diet usually then follows and the same process continues over and over as that incremental bit of weight gain each time adds up to quite a lot over the years.

2. LACK OF SLEEP

We live in a society where it has almost become a badge of honor to proclaim how little sleep we got the night before but look how it doesn’t stop me!

This will certainly stop your weight loss pursuits though.

Lack of sleep can have a big impact on your hormone levels, primarily the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone that when out of balance and secreted too much can cause weight gain and a lower metabolism as another “preservation” mode.

When you get very little sleep, especially in the 4-5 hour mark your body is assuming there is some kind of stress going on. It doesn’t know if there is a some sort of physical threat or famine or that you’ve been up all night watching a Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathon.

Your body basically assumes something negative must be happening if it’s keeping your from sleep and those constantly elevated,unbalanced cortisol and stress hormone levels will severely sabotage your weight loss pursuits

  • Try for at least 6-8 hours of sleep a night and remember that sleep and exercise will help to metabolize and burn off those stress hormones
  • Create a wind down routine so your body get accustomed to recognizing when you start to slow down for the day
  • Avoid T.V and electronics a few hours before bed. Blue light from our electronics can disrupt natural melatonin levels in the brain leading to unnatural circadian rhythms and very disrupted sleep

3. REGULAR DAILY STRESS

This will be related to the sleep issue but it’s becoming apparent that chronic stress is responsible for an immense amount of diseases and illnesses.

At the moment 43% of adults suffer adverse health effects from stress. And here is a list of just SOME of the effects of stress on the body:

  • stroke
  • heart disease
  • hypertension
  • diabetes
  • anxiety
  • IBS
  • insomnia
  • depression
  • weight gain and obesity

You can see how weight gain and obesity seem almost secondary to these other horrible conditions but the effects of stress are two fold in weight loss pursuits; stress creates effects in the body that will allow weight loss to become excruciatingly hard while at the same time causing weight gain itself.

Reducing stress in your life is not only beneficial for your waistline but your entire overall health and wellness.

There are some simple steps you can take to help reduce and remove stress from your life including:

  • Adequate and consistent sleep
  • exercise and yoga
  • a whole foods based diet
  • elimination of junk and preservative laden “foods”
  • Meditation
  • recognizing what stresses are in and out of your control
  • deep breathing exercises

This only scratches the surface of things you can do to reduce stress but hopefully it encourages you to explore all options in taking back your health and wellness.

WRAPPING IT ALL UP

There are other things involved with getting underway in weight loss but if you keep these 3 things in your back pocket it will help set you up for success.

Remember to:

  • Not deprive your body of food but focus on fresh, whole foods consistently to allow your body to keep fed, nourished and your metabolism high
  • Not deprive yourself of sleep. Allow your body to rest and repair rather than force it to elevate its stress hormones and set you back
  • Try and remove or at least manage sources of stress in your life. Your weight loss pursuits and your overall health will be all the better for it.

 

Jamie Logie is a personal trainer and nutrition and wellness specialist who runs regainedwellness.com and the Regained Wellness Podcast. You can get the free Healthy Eating Starter Kit ebook by going to http://ift.tt/1FrNCPe

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Top 5 Reasons Reviewing Your Goals is a Must For Your Success

Goal review

Are you performing at a high level in your area of focus such as sports, health, business, blogging, or at work? Whatever your area of focus, reading your goals often can produce faster and more consistent results. Losing sight of your goals can leave you stagnant or swimming against the current. I have compiled five key insights and beliefs that I hope will sell you on the importance of frequently reading what matters most—your goals!

  1. A destination without a road map is a wish.

One of the main objectives of writing goals is to determine the steps you need to take to arrive at your desired destination. A daily review of the road map to your goals will ultimately put you in the best position to successfully execute the plan you’ve written for yourself. If the plan becomes second nature (like the route you take to the gym or to work), then the targeted goal and its route become inevitable.

  1. Without repetition, goals will escape the mind.

I think everyone has listened to a song and then found that we “replayed” it in our mind for a few days (the earworm phenomenon). Yet the entire song is available to us via memory only for several days; inevitably, it seems to fade from memory over the coming weeks.

Rock and Roll Concert

Goals are very similar. Reviewing goals frequently enables us to easily recall their steps or benchmarks when we are not reviewing them, which gives us a stronger probability of implementing the actions necessary to achieve them. Frequently reviewed steps will eventually create a pathway in the brain if we consistently review them and not allow them to escape us. There are many studies that back the benefits that repetition has on the brain.

  1. We will lose desire, which causes a goal to lose its value.

One major drawback of not reviewing our goals is that we will eventually lose desire for them.

Personal development godfather Jim Rohn says, “Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.”

Goals, too, will eventually lose value if they are not reviewed frequently. Reviewing goals at least 10 times each week enables us to mindlessly pivot towards them to make them realities. We know that thoughts can become actions. As a result, we can reach our goals faster.

  1. Progress equals happiness.

The more tasks we accomplish and the greater progress we experience towards reaching our goals, the more our self-respect will increase.

When we feel an increase in personal value, our sense of worth keeps us happy. Think of someone who is trying to lose weight. Do they stop after losing 6 pounds? Usually not, and the reason is that losing 6 pounds represents real progress and, in turn, an increased sense of personal value. That motivates the dieter to lose more weight.

  1. Reading our goals daily should motivate us.

Life is easier when we wake up every morning and review our life’s purpose through a review of our goals. We then activate that energy and momentum as we take one step closer to our destination.

Maybe your goals are written down clearly to the extent that you become charged every time you read them. But are you able to recall your goals and plans like a melody that sticks in your mind, so that your actions reflect your goals?

By practicing ongoing repetition, we become programmed to know the steps to take to reach our ultimate destination. It is worth the time spent!

Stay strong and dig deep daily to produce what’s important to you faster. The benefits and outcomes will result in your masterfully illustrated dream board.

I am curious to know . . .

  • How do you make certain that your goals are reviewed?
  • What changes do you witness in your life when you do or don’t review them? Do you become energized?

Brad DeVore is founder and coach for the personal excellence website PositiveJump.com. To receive his free list of personal excellence tips and other authentic content, click success to sign up for updates or learn more about the new PositiveJump nation!

 

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11 Reasons Dehydration is Making You Fat Sick and Tired

I previously wrote a great article about why drinking water will help you lose weight, which a lot of people connected with.

Today I would like to present you with a visual as to why drinking more water not only helps you to lose weight but can keep you healthy and energetic as well.  The effects of dehydration can be disastrous for your body and can keep you fat, sick and tired.

water-health-weight-loss-infographic

Infographic used with kind permission from Get Skinny Be Happy

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