How Ants Survive Rush Hour (and why putting your ego in check will change your life)

how to balance ego

how to balance ego

It’s everyone’s nightmare.  Rush hour.  Inching along interminably as too many cars navigate too few lanes, with too many merging in and too few turning off.

Who would have imagined that King Solomon already anticipated the chaos of our highways when he declared, Go, sluggard, and learn from the ant?

As it turns out, ants are better drivers than we are.  And the lessons of their highway habits offer some valuable lessons that extend far beyond the way we drive.

According to NPR, Apoorva Nagar discovered the connection in a study by German and Indian researchers.  Apparently, traveling ants are able to maintain a constant speed regardless of the number of ants on the path.  In other words, even at rush hour, ant traffic carries on unimpeded.

Professor Nagar, a physicist at the Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology, suggests three reasons why ants don’t bottleneck as traffic flow increases.  First, ants don’t have egos.  They don’t need to be first, don’t need to show off, and don’t take it personally when another ant cuts in front of them.

Second, they don’t mind fender-benders.  Sure, a multi-ant pile will slow them down.  But a few minor bumps and scrapes have little impact on their progress.  Even with incidental bumping and knocking, the ants just keep on moving forward.  Needless to say, humans would never tolerate the most glancing or superficial collisions, even if the law permitted it.

And third, says Professor Nagar, ants get more disciplined as the crowd thickens:  they hold their speed steadier and make fewer twists and turns.  In contrast to human drivers who cut in and out while breaking and accelerating, ant discipline creates a road culture of greater predictability and, consequently, greater safety and consistency.

Granted that ant behavior may have limited practical application to human driving habits and traffic patterns, the observations offered by Professor Nagar suggest other benefits to improve the quality of daily life.

NO EGO

Have you ever watched someone else hopelessly caught up in his own ego-gratification?  Sometimes it’s the driver trapped behind a slow-moving car, desperately looking for a chance to break out and around.  And what happens when he gets his chance?  More often than not, you catch up to him stuck behind the next car or idling at the next stoplight.

Or what about the person who has to be the center of attention or the life of the party?  He thinks he’s the darling of the crowd, but the dismayed expressions among his captive audience frequently tell a different story.

When we stop worrying about where we rank compared to others and stop needing others to validate our existence, we become a lot more comfortable with where we are and end up making progress with far greater efficiency.

It’s actually pretty easy when we start asking ourselves the right questions:

  • What do I gain by trying to be first?
  • Are the people I’m trying to impress going to be impressed?
  • Are the people who are going to be impressed worth impressing?
  • Didn’t I read a story once about a tortoise and a hare?

IS IT WORTH IT?

We’ve heard it before:

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  And so much of it really is small stuff.

Sure, I enjoy the frequent fantasy of trading in my ‘98 Camry for a new… anything.  But until I do, I’ll never have to worry about the latest scratch, dent, or interior stain the way I would if I were driving a Mercedes… or even a new Subaru.

The truth is, the shinier our toys are, the more we notice when the shine starts to fade, and our mood fades just as quickly.  That’s only natural, since those scrapes and blemishes are all tied up with our first problem… ego.

That scuffed bumper is a reflection on me, isn’t it?  It reflects either my own driving or my slothfulness repairing damage inflicted on me by someone else.  Of course, it might reflect the sanity of my priorities, that I don’t want to take hours away from my family and friends and community and personal growth so that my car can be pristine (while waiting for the next minor accident to send me back to the repair shop).

And it’s not just our cars.  The human eye and mind seek out every imperfection on which to fixate, whether it’s a loose thread or a tilted picture, a sore toe or a pesky hangnail.  If anything is 99% perfect, that last one percent becomes all the more intolerable, invalidating everything that is as it should be.

Which is the perfect time for another list of questions:

  • Overall, are things good or bad?
  • By how much does the good outweigh the bad?
  • Is it reasonable to let so little that’s not quite right cancel out so much that is?
  • Is anything every perfect?

TIME TO PAY ATTENTION

As tension builds, we start looking for a way out.  Maybe what we should be looking for is a way in.  Like the ants who become more focused as traffic increases.

The truth is, stress and tension are products of our bodies preparing us to enter into survival mode.  When we respond by heightening our awareness of the challenges that face us and steeling ourselves to meet them, we can propel our productivity and success to unprecedented levels.  Not only do we manage the job at hand, but we increase our ability to overcome greater obstacles that lie ahead.

It’s a win-win.

But it demands that we reframe, that we stop looking at obstacles as impediments to progress and start seeing them as opportunities for development and self-improvement.  And that outlook starts with more questions:

  • Why do we think no pain, no gain applies only at the gym?
  • Haven’t our most satisfying moments come through struggle?
  • If we can’t change where we are, isn’t changing how we deal with it is our only option?
  • If I handle a difficult situation better, might others follow my example and help the situation improve on its own?

After all, what’s the point of an obstacle course?  We could traverse the course much faster without all those obstacles, no?  But then what would we have accomplished?

And isn’t life the greatest obstacle course of all?

Rabbi Yonason Goldson, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives in St. Louis, MO, where he teaches, writes, and lectures.  His new book Proverbial Beauty:  Secrets for success and happiness from the wisdom of the ages is due out in July.  Visit him at http://ift.tt/1yTxW6j.

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10 Tips For Using Crowdsourcing Effectively to Lead a Productive Life

crowdsourcing for productivity

crowdsourcing for productivity

We all want to be more efficient in order to make the most of our time. But how can we really accomplish more and stop wasting our efforts on insignificant tasks?  The answer to our productivity concerns can be solved with the use of a tool called crowdsourcing.

Crowdsourcing is the process of enlisting the help of a big crowd of people, usually on the internet, whose collective knowledge, resources, and skills can help to come up with diverse and expert solutions to your problems. This way you can focus your energies on your top priority tasks while still using your crowd to figure out solutions to other problems as well.

You can ask for help and advice from your own crowd of friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter or engage with other kinds of crowdsourcing platforms. Wikipedia is one of the most well-known  of these crowdsourcing efforts.

However, many of us may not know how to crowdsource to its full benefit. In order to get the most out of this process, I’d like to offer a list of 10 tips for crowdsourcing effectively:

  1. Search before asking – Very often someone is experiencing the same challenge that you are. Before asking for help, use special Q&A platforms to search for solutions. My personal favorite is quora.com.
  2. Be specific – When you ask for help, make sure you give specific details about your challenge.
  3. Do not influence. Do not direct people to a specific solution. Make sure you allow enough room for their creativity so they can offer a wide range of potential solutions.
  4. Be brief. Make sure you keep your questions short and to the point. People need to understand very quickly what you are asking for.
  5. Tell a story. The only exception for keeping your explanations brief is if you have an interesting story to share. An interesting story engages people while explaining why you are asking for their help.
  6. Interact – Whenever people come to you with ideas and suggestions, make sure you thank them and engage back. When people see that you are part of the conversation, they have more reasons to respond.
  7. Give value – Don’t just ask for help. Give value to the crowd and do that over and over again. Whenever others see that you give value, they will be motivated to help you.
  8. Pay the crowd – Websites such as fiverr.com allow you to pay $5 for simple tasks. Enlisting the help of someone with experience can save you a lot of time for a small amount of money.
  9. Use WhatsApp – Whenever you need help, WhatsApp is a great way to privately ask for help from close friends.
  10. User special crowdsourcing platforms – There are dozens of crowdsourcing platforms that can help you out in specific areas such as design, health, finance and more. For a complete list of crowdsourcing platforms visit http://ift.tt/1K5GQyx

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What is Your Dominant Character Trait

What is Your Dominant Character Trait?

We all have certain character traits which can help to define who we are as a person.

There have many theories put forward in Psychology about character and one such one is the Big Five:

A summary of the factors of the Big Five and their constituent traits, such that they form the acronym OCEAN:

  • Openness to experience: (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience. Openness reflects the degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity and a preference for novelty and variety a person has. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities over a strict routine. Some disagreement remains about how to interpret the openness factor, which is sometimes called “intellect” rather than openness to experience.
  • Conscientiousness: (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless). A tendency to be organized and dependable, show self-discipline, act dutifully, aim for achievement, and prefer planned rather than spontaneous behavior.
  • Extraversion: (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved). Energy, positive emotions, surgency, assertiveness, sociability and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others, and talkativeness.
  • Agreeableness: (friendly/compassionate vs. analytical/detached). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of one’s trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well tempered or not.
  • Neuroticism: (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident). The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, and vulnerability. Neuroticism also refers to the degree of emotional stability and impulse control and is sometimes referred to by its low pole, “emotional stability”.

The Big Five Model was defined by several independent sets of researchers. These researchers began by studying known personality traits and then factor-analyzing hundreds of measures of these traits (in self-report and questionnaire data, peer ratings, and objective measures from experimental settings) in order to find the underlying factors of personality. The Big five personality traits was the model to comprehend the relationship between personality and academic behaviors. (Source Wikipedia)

Find Out Your Dominant Character Trait

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5 Tips to Being an Awesome Dad

Ok, you will notice that I wrote awesome dad and not responsible father. There are already plenty of those articles and frankly, I’m no child psychologist.

No, I’m simply a son of a father and a dad of three kids. With a few first hand tips on what I have observed over the years. And if your kids are happy the chances are, that they will think you’re an awesome dad.

awesome_dad

So below are my 5 tips for being an awesome dad.

1. Talk to your kids – not at them 

Believe it or not but they may actually be smarter than you think. A great tip here is seeking their opinion on something, and getting them to explain why, before you tell what you think.

It will teach them to consider their own opinion more and justify it to another. It may even give you another perspective on the matter.

2. Remove fear – with an open door policy

If your child fears you then they are much more likely to withhold information or lie. If you don’t know the truth of a situation about your child how are you supposed to guide them for the future?

It’s one thing to say to your child “You know you can tell me anything right?” and it’s another to mean it. You may feel it’s sincere however ever once the trust is broken by one angry retort it can take many years to rebuild.

For added assurance make sure there is another adult that they can go to for guidance when they are simply embarrassed or afraid to come to you.

3. Consider carefully when you say ‘not now’

We have all heard the song “Cats in the cradle” by Cat Stevens where he paints a picture of how fleeting our time is with our children. This sentiment is often echoed by anyone with teenage children as they seen a young family.

At some stage in their development, as much as they may love you, they will prefer the company of their hobby’s, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends. Consider this every time you say “not now” as it may really mean “not ever”.

Grab them now and spend all the time with them that you can. You will miss it greatly when it’s gone.

4. Find a safe conversational landing ground

I speak to my father usually at least 3-4 times per week. If we had no common ground then these calls would be very short indeed.

They would probably go something along the lines of “How are you?” he would say. “Great, How are you?” I would say. “Great” insert awkward silence.

We do however both love the same football team and have similar jobs so we have a rich fertile grounding for our conversations. We talk about the players, their injuries, upcoming games and while it might not be deep emotional conversation we are spending quality time together which makes my day every time.

I try to understand my kids passions so that I can talk to them in the same way.

5. Make them feel important 

If your child does not have a say in their life then how will the grow to become a responsible adult? Let them be involved in some of the decisions for the family.

Also find opportunities to trust them to do things by themselves even if they will need to be cleaned up by you later.

Even the smallest contribution from a child can have a big impact.

These 5 tips are just the start.

Help us compile a full list of awesome dad tips by commenting below with your suggestion or any feedback you may have to ours.

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The 17 Marks of a Good and Happy Life

The 17 Marks of a Good and Happy Life

how to be happy

1) You have traveled to some different parts of the world

Because traveling brings you out of your comfort zone and expands your horizon. You absorb different cultures and that allows you to be grateful with what you have at home, or not, by which then you can make the necessary changes in your life.

2) You have passion

Passion is what lights your life on fire. It electrifies your soul. It gives you a certain identity other people know you by. It is the awesome feeling you get that separates what you love from the rest of the world. Find passion and let it seep into your everyday life. You’ll be happy. It’s as simple as that.

3) You’ve struggled considerably before

The challenges and obstacles you faced that made you think you weren’t strong enough to overcome? You were indeed strong enough. You learnt how capable you really are and that strength is what gives you confidence, hence happiness.

4) You don’t lie to yourself and escape all the time

Henceforth, you deal with the problem head on. You don’t try to escape by taking an easier route. You ask yourself the honest questions.

That is why people who drink or indulge in their vices are unhappy. They’re only always dealing with a hangover.

5) You’re surrounded by good and positive people

Sometimes your happiness is highly based on your environment. Surround yourself with negative or even annoying people, you’ll end up negative and annoyed yourself. Surround yourself with good people who want the best out of you, you’ll be constantly inspired.

6) You realize you don’t need to put up with others’ crap

And by extending the idea of surrounding yourself with positive people, you let go negative influences and dump toxic people. You don’t need to put up with people’s crap. You are in full control of who you want to be with.

7) You’re always on learning-mode

The thirst for knowledge and hunger to learn pushes your brain to take up new things and that’s automatically ensuring you aren’t dulling your life. Simply put, wanting to learn means having curiosity and that’s way better than sitting around bored as you’re always trying new things.

Why do you think people who are constantly surfing social media are bored despite actually doing something?

8) You don’t chase money

You know money is important because you need to survive. But you recognize the bottom line which is that it’s your choice to chase money or not.

9) You make time for family

Because it’s family.

Family is dysfunctional? Make time for your old friends then.

10) You choose gratitude, no matter what

Despite what life throws at you, you remember that there’re many things in life to be grateful for. You’ll be surprised how lucky you are and that tons of people want to be in your shoes.

11) You’ve been through a breakup

Breakups hurt, but eventually, you’ll be fine. Breakups show that you’re capable of love; that you don’t have to be alone. At the same time, breakups allow you to know the kind of person you want to be with and so you become wary of the kind of people you meet next time.

12) You help other people

Because sometimes, the only way to solve your worries is to simply help others.

13) You recognize that you’re not your job

Most people have to work to survive and the majority don’t love what they do. The difference between the happy ones and those who drag themselves to work is that they know that they are not their job. They work and leave everything at the office when they go home.

They know that their salary, position and status do not identify them. The let passion, talent, special memories and their own life identify them.

14) You’re not always in a rush

Way too many of us want to make good time today. We want to get work done, leave work on time and make sure we catch the train on time. As a result, we don’t even know we’re breathing harder, cluttering our mind with deadlines, walking to fast and generally adding stress to ourselves!

Slow down. Relax. Go meditate. There’s plenty of time.

15) You stop caring about what others think

The words and thoughts of others’ should not have an effect on you. They technically don’t exist because what you think of yourself and what you want to do are all that truly matters.

16) You can always look back with no regret

You’d want to live a life so that you can look back and hold on tightly to your experiences and memories. These memories will never lie to you. So keep doing what you want and leave your mark!

17) You know it’s never too late

But what if you feel like you’ve never done enough?

It’s okay.

It’s not too late.

You’re growing older as time passes by, but it’s okay. Age doesn’t matter.

You’re in full control of the time you have.

Keep on keeping on you.

Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Need help leaving your mark all around the world?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

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Personality Quiz What Emotion Are You Guided By?

Today we have a another great little personality quiz to find out what is your dominant emotion that rules your life.

Share your results in the facebook comments below and tell us how accurate, or inaccurate it is.

 

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What Is Your Emotional IQ

We all know that IQ is not the be all and end all to gauge how intelligent we are.  In fact I believe that there are many types of intelligence: emotional, social, intellectual, intrapersonal, and many more.

Emotional intelligence, popularized by Daniel Goleman  refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.

Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990). (source Psychology.about.com)

emotional-iq

Today we have a quick quiz to determine just how emotionally intelligent you are

What is Your Emotional IQ?

 

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What Colour is Your Aura

What colour is your aura?

All living things that need oxygen to survive have an aura. They generate a large magnetic energy field that can be sensed, felt and even seen around the physical body. We all can tell when someone doesn’t feel good to us, like they are full of anger or if they really live in their heart and feel deeply. You do not need to be psychic to feel/read an aura.

If a person walks past, very close to you, they may unintentionally steal some of your energy. If someone suddenly reaches out and grabs your arm, they are interrupting the flow of energy around your body. An example of this might be a time when you were talking to someone and you thought they were standing to close to you. You may have even thought to yourself, “They’re in my space,” and then you backed away. Even this slight intrusion into your aura or ‘space’ can interrupt your personal flow of energy and you may feel like you have been slimed. (source ind5.com)

what-is-the-colour-of-your-aura

Today we have another quiz to help you find out the colour of your aura.

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What Colour is Your Soul

Colours are a natural part of our life and we rarely give them much thought, or do we?

When you are getting ready to go to work you will choose your clothes based on style and colour, it gives an insight into who you are.  For example if you wear bright colours: yellow, red, orange, and pink, it might suggest you have an outgoing personality and don’t mind being in the spotlight, alternatively it might suggest you need more attention than you are currently getting.  if you wear dark colours: black, dark brown or dark grey it could suggest you want to keep yourself to yourself and just blend in to take the limelight away from you, and it might suggest you’re a slightly pessimistic person.

What-Color-Is-Your-Soul

When you choose a car to drive you will most likely choose a colour that suits your personality as well.  Your home furnishings will be based on colour, even the food that you buy could be unconsciously influenced by the colour of the brand

Anyway, I digress, I love the topic of the psychology of colours and find it fascinating.  Today I just wanted to give you another quick quiz called What is the Colour of Your Soul, this is a great little quiz and as always this is just for fun :)

What Colour Is Your Soul?

 

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9 Things to Stop Letting Others Do To You

Whether we like it or not we are influenced by others every single day, and it can be hard to stop being influenced.  Our thoughts, our beliefs and our actions are sometimes led by others and unless we consciously think about it, we are likely to be influenced all of our lives.

Here’s a few things to think about.

Stand-up-yourself

9 Things to Stop Letting Others Do To You

1. Stop taking on other peoples negative energy

This is one of the easiest things to do but once you catch yourself getting sucked into that negative energy, just remove yourself from the situation.  Avoiding people who constantly have negative energy is a good strategy, unless obviously it’s a friend who’s going through some tough times.

2. Stop getting sucked into gossip

Gossip is one of the worst things to get sucked into, and again it’s easy to do.  Once you make a conscious effort to stop getting sucked into the gossip arena, then you’ll see the difference it makes in your work and personal life.

3. Stop letting others make you doubt your beliefs

You deserve to have your own beliefs and you deserve to have respect for the beliefs you have so please don’t let anyone try and change your beliefs unless you’re openly looking for answers on certain subjects.  But if you have a firmly held belief about something, defend it as it’s yours to own, but also be open minded enough to listen to other peoples beliefs.

4. Stop letting people tell you what’s possible

Honestly, anything is possible, literally anything within the realms of the physical laws of the world.  You can do anything you want to and if you have a dram, a goal, a yearning to do something don’t let other people put the idea down.

5. Stop letting people dump their stuff on you

A lot of people become dumping grounds for peoples problems without giving anything in return.  We all know people like this, they’re great at giving you their problems, but are never around to listen to yours. Dump the dumpers and see the difference it makes in your life.

6. Stop letting people take control

YOU are the only person who controls you: your mind, your body, your spirit.  Never let anyone control any aspect of you.  When you realise it’s happening then it’s time to stand up for yourself.

7. Stop letting others opinions dictate your personality

An opinion is another person’s thoughts based on their beliefs and thoughts, so why the hell should you worry about what other people’s opinions are of you, the clothes you wear, the things you do, the people you see.  You are totally unique and you should always remember that.

8. Stop trying to please others if it makes you unhappy

We all do things to please others, and it feels good to do it, but when it starts to take over you and you’re constantly looking for ways to please someone and it makes you feel bad, then it’s time to take stock and ask why you are doing it.

9. Stop letting people take your power

Your inner power is the life that drives you forward in life and letting others control any aspect of that should be looked at immediately.  It might not be easy, but you have no one else to blame but yourself if you give your power away when you are aware of it.  Sometimes we are manipulated into doing things, but once you become aware of this manipulation, then drop that person from your life.

You are so brilliantly, amazingly awesome and you deserve to know that.  Stand up, be proud and drop the the leeches that exist in your life.

 

 

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